Cuts of RWBY
A RWBY Fic Collection by AndrewJTalon
DISCLAIMER: This is a fan based work of prose. RWBY is the property of Rooster Teeth and WB Animation. Please support the official release.
Just a collection of plot bunnies and ideas for RWBY fics. Free for you to take and make use of.
For instance... A common trope for fics is pretending to be someone's boyfriend/girlfriend for a whacky scheme. Usually a nice guy who won't take too much advantage of the situation. However, every man has his limit...
"Enough is enough, everyone!"
Jaune glared at the collection of women he'd called to his dormroom, his arms crossed over his chest. Ruby, Yang, Pyrrha, Weiss, Blake, May Zedong, Cinder Fall, Penny, and even Professor Goodwitch were all present and staring back at him in a mixture of confusion, apathy, forced indifference, or a happy oblivious smile (Penny).
Nora and Ren were off to the side, sharing a bucket of popcorn as they watched raptly.
"Mister Arc," Glynda said calmly, "I don't know what you mean but you should be more respectful in your tone-"
"I'M TIRED OF BEING YOUR FREAKING GIGOLO!" Jaune shouted angrily.
Silence fell harder than a boxer indebted to the mob. All the women looked at each other, eyes narrowing.
"Jaune, what do you mean?" Pyrrha asked slowly.
"Oh like you don't know?!" Jaune demanded. "You started this whole thing! You insisted I pretend to be your boyfriend to keep the paparazzi off your back! I did that! That was fine! Until I started getting death threats!"
"For shame, P-Money," Yang sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and Yang shrank back.
"And then, you asked me to pose as your boyfriend for couples events at a club! Which we wrecked!"
"It uh... It was fun though right?" Yang asked, laughing nervously as Goodwitch and Weiss glared.
"How utterly repugnant, but expected of you, Xiao-Long," Weiss sniffed.
"Oh like you can talk!" Jaune growled. "You dragged me off to those stupid social events!"
"I-I needed something to get my father off my back," Weiss protested weakly, "And Sun wasn't interested so I couldn't even piss him off-"
"Wow, that's pretty low, even for you," Blake deadpanned. Jaune stormed up to her and glared heatedly.
"Don't get me started on you, Blake! Your mom keeps demanding to know why you aren't pregnant yet!"
Blake flushed and tried to look innocent as everyone else glared at her.
"Um... She needed reassurance after I became a terrorist and never spoke or wrote to her for two years?" She tried.
"That is the worst," Ruby sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and she coughed. "Um... When I asked you to be my pretend boyfriend, Jaune, it was just practice, y-ya know? For the real thing? And you're my best friend and I trust you?"
"That kind of gets you off the hook," Jaune stated, "If not for the fact you got me into a fight with Roman Torchwick. TWICE!"
"He was stealing comic books, Jaune!" Ruby cried, "And Dust! He's an utter fiend!"
"Hmph," Cinder sniffed, "At least I'm just pretend dating Jaune for non-nefarious reasons."
"You're smuggling Dust," Jaune deadpanned. Cinder coughed.
"F-For non-nefarious reasons!"
"Honestly, I don't even know how much detention you've all earned," Goodwitch sighed. Jaune's glare turned to her.
"When are we meeting your mother again, Professor? She still demanding grandkids?"
Goodwitch coughed.
Jaune turned his glare on Penny.
"Penny, I was fine with going out as friends, but why do you keep telling everyone I'm your boyfriend?"
"Is that not accurate, Friend-Jaune?" Penny asked, tilting her head, "You are a boy, and a friend. Thus, Boyfriend! Am I missing context? Is it because I am a perfectly normal human woman?"
Jaune sighed, then turned his attention to May.
"May, you..."
He paused.
"I... Don't think we are fake dating?"
"Um, n-no," May said, blushing, "I was actually um, going to ask you out for real?"
"Oh," Jaune muttered, "Um... That's cool-"
"You can't do that!" Pyrrha cried. "W-We're... We're fake dating him!"
"Yeah!" Ruby growled. "Go get your own real boyfriend!"
"ENOUGH!" Jaune shouted. He glared sternly. "The point is... I was fine with helping you all out in a pinch. But I'm not just gonna be your fake boyfriend. May just wants to date me for me, she doesn't want to use me! So either this ends, or...!"
He was going to think of an alternative, but... Ending all this nonsense was really all he had. There wasn't another option-
"Or we all actually date him!" Penny said cheerfully.
Jaune blinked.
What.
He winced, preparing for the onslaught of female violence... Waited... Waited some more...
"Well," Ruby mused, "It would be nice to have a big family! Just like Dad, Mom, and Auntie Raven tried!"
"Yeah, totally," Yang agreed.
"I..." Pyrrha flushed. "I suppose... We could share. It would be the least we could do for Jaune, given how we've abused him."
"I..." Weiss blushed. "I-I agree too! N-Not that I like him or anything, it would just be fair!"
"Well... I'm not getting any younger," Glynda mused.
"You're all a pack of utter degenerates," Cinder sniffed... Before smirking. "I can work with that."
"Oh my," May mumbled, blushing brightly.
"Just like in my fanfics," Blake sighed happily.
"HOORAY!" Penny declared. "Let us enact the Harem Ending, Boyfriend-Jaune!"
Jaune looked at the pack of ravenous women, and then to his other friends.
"Uh... Ren? Nora?"
"You're on your own, buddy," Ren stated firmly.
"Good luck, Jaune-Jaune!" Nora said cheerfully. "We're rooting for you!"
They then jumped out the window, leaving Jaune to his fate.
