~Chapter 4: Keeping Up Appearances ~
(September 15- Kakashi's Birthday-Celebrations underway)
~Nina~
"What? Water? Why? It's Hatake's Birthday and…," Nina's probing into Kurenai's choice fizzled out as she downed the declined drink in her hand. "Like, you don't have to… don't worry. I'll get you a jug of water."
"Just how much have you had to drink?" Kurenai asked, her eyes flicking between Nina and the bottles on the bar.
Good question.
The four—now two, maybe two and a half-full—bottles of saké, along with herself, were supposed to have returned to the booth where Jiraiya and Tsunade were some time ago. But, strangely, the whole practice of sipping the fermented rice drink went out the window. Nina held the bottle, which she thought was half-full, to her right ear and gave it a tiny shake; a dribble sloshed around the bottom.
Nope, make that two left.
It'd been going down very smoothly.
"Enough to think that we should join Master Jiraiya and Lady Tsunade," Nina finally replied before making an order for their table with the barman.
"Nina, I, well, we…," Kurenai stuttered, stalling them at the bar a while longer. "Asuma and I are expecting."
When her brother's name was mentioned, Nina searched the room for him. "Expecting what exactly?"
"You know, expecting," Kurenai repeated.
Nina screwed her face, disliking more vagueness until she looked at the raven-haired woman, noticing Kurenai's subtle hand gestures to her lower abdomen. Ecstatic with the news, Nina jabbered a heaping of questions. "How far along are you? Have you had any morning sickness? Have you been assigned a medic? Have you seen a medic? Can I be your medic?"
~Kurenai~
Kurenai jumped at the opportunity when Asuma had passed on informing Nina; he was convinced his sister's response would be clinically controlled. Kurenai knew his justification was a lie. Asuma wasn't a man of extravagance; he showed his devotion through smaller, more meaningful gestures. He'd hidden behind the phony cover and offered her a chance at something she wouldn't have elsewise—given she had no living blood family members.
Not quite ready for the village and its rumour mill to catch wind of her news, Kurenai cupped her hands around Nina's. "They're starting to serve. How about we go find a seat, and I can answer all of your questions?"
"But—"
"Look," Kurenai pointed ahead. "There's plenty of room with Lady Tsunade and Master Jiraiya, and here comes Asuma and Kakashi."
~Nina~
Nina juggled the remaining bottles, handing them to Jiraiya, who passed them onto Tsunade.
"Should we chase up Hana and Gen—?" Asuma broke off, guiding Kurenai into the booth with a gentle hand on the small of her back. "A simple 'no' would have sufficed, Nina," he snickered, sliding in next to Kurenai.
"I see you're making friends tonight, Sarutobi," Kakashi gibed lowly while signalling with one hand for Nina to be seated beside her brother.
"Well—," Nina paused, stepping back to open a pathway between them for the wait staff to deliver the drinks she'd ordered and the food. Kakashi stood stoic and silent, again directing her into the booth. "Pot, kettle, Hatake," retorted Nina, jabbing the underside of his book.
Here they were, along with what appeared to be the majority of Konoha, drawn together to celebrate Kakashi's Birthday. Meanwhile, he had his nose stuck in a book.
How typical.
The silver-haired shinobi was more than comfortable reading the Icha Icha series in plain view—adding to his apathetic air.
Hold it.
Having slid in next to Asuma, it was then that Nina noticed a peculiarity. Jiraiya's Icha Icha novels had unmistakable-coloured covers—green, red and orange. However, the book wedged in Kakashi's hand was leather-bound and not of professional quality either. Instead, its covering was amateurish and without titling.
But it couldn't be, could it?
Clambering to her knees, Nina swiped at the book, forgetting there were plenty of onlookers. "Jiraiya!" she screeched.
~Kakashi~
Kakashi used the advantage of their height difference to avoid Nina's lunge for his birthday gift. Inconveniently, he had to remain standing while she continued to pounce from all fours at him.
"You couldn't help yourself, could you?" Jiraiya chuckled, handing over a fresh cup of saké.
Kakashi raised his eye to meet Jiraiya's and then just shrugged. "I don't see the problem."
Maybe there would be one for Nina; if she kept going with her ineffectual tussle for something that wasn't hers. It was, after all, her dirty little secret.
Kakashi cast his uncovered eye to the occupants at this particular booth; he reckoned three of them were about to learn something new about the kunoichi.
"But Jiraiya, I'm your—"
"You're my what, Nina?" Jiraiya pressed with a cheeky grin.
~Nina~
Nina recoiled, rearranging herself to be seated properly. Fuck. Uncaring for how far she was reaching, she blamed Genma. If he hadn't put her in such a bad mood, she might have moderated her alcohol intake a little better. Fucking arsehole. Nina didn't want to overlook Hatake's part either, but it was his birthday which meant he'd get a free pass by default.
"Nothing," Nina mumbled, shuffling along to make room for Kakashi.
Judging by the wide eyes, raised eyebrows and smirks from Asuma and Kurenai, they'd put one and one together. Tsunade held one hand to her forehead and shook it back and forth.
Just great.
For years, Nina hid the truth of her chosen reading material by swapping out the paper covers of Icha Icha with something she felt was more publically appropriate—medical journals and the likes. Up until tonight, only Kakashi and Jiraiya had known she, too, read the infamous Icha Icha series.
One morning in the Jōnin lounge, many years before, Nina had stumbled across Kakashi's copy of Icha Icha Paradise near the coffee machine. Tsunade had called them nothing more than 'old man's porn'. However, Nina was intrigued to find out why the books enthralled the Copy-Nin so much.
Nina returned the book to Kakashi about a day later; neither said anything to the other. From there, she sought out Jiraiya, prepared to strike a bargain. She wanted a complete set of the Icha Icha series, first dibs on new instalments, and the utmost discretion. Bizarrely, the Toad Sage agreed without asking for anything in exchange.
~Kakashi ~
"Subtle, Sarutobi," Kakashi heckled, not lifting his eye from the page he was reading.
Nina gave the appearance of a child who'd had their candy taken from them. "With no thanks to you," she scowled.
While Kakashi pocketed his gift, he leaned in and whispered into Nina's ear, "I have to get my kicks somehow."
Staunchly, Nina hissed back, "Then you should remember I'm merciful by choice, Hatake." Followed by a swift blow into his ribs with her elbow.
Comparable to a nip from one of his Ninken, Nina's chakra-infused nudge was a warning. "Noted," Kakashi gruffled.
~Jiraiya~
Jiraiya supposed it couldn't be helped, or rather that he couldn't help Nina.
"Please tell me it's not true?" pleaded Tsunade, holding her cup up for a refill. "She's not your—?"
"Ah, um, excuse me. Do you mind if I join, please?" Ayame interrupted. "There doesn't appear to be any other booths with space." Ayame stood at the end of the table, her hands locked together, resting on her thighs.
Ah, the girl from Ichiraku. Dressed up in a red sundress, Jiraiya almost hadn't recognised her. She's quite the looker.
"Have a seat. The more, the merrier!" Jiraiya cheered.
~Genma~
Absentmindedly, Genma spun his glass while taking in the surroundings and half-listening to another one of Guy's animated retells. Plenty was happening at the booth in the back corner. Little Sarutobi was yet again at the centre of another commotion. "Hey, Hana, who's that in the red dress at the table with Hatake?"
"Oh, that's Ayame," she answered.
That couldn't be the same girl?
Genma did a double-take. "Teuchi's daughter?"
"Mhm," Hanako confirmed, finishing her mouthful. "Rumour has it she caught sight of Sensei's face a few weeks ago."
"Let me guess, you don't like her?" Genma asked.
"No," Hanako mumbled into her wine glass.
"You don't like any female in this village, love," Genma chuckled.
"I like Nina," stated Hanako crossing her arms. "And Lady Tsunade."
"I'm serious, Hanako. You and Little Saru—. Ow!" Genma rubbed his bicep in hopes of uncorking the muscles from the tiny kunoichi's punch.
Hanako sweetly pressed a kiss to where she'd hit him. "Sorry, you know she doesn't like to be called that."
Genma raked her into his side and kissed her temple. Hanako and Nina were alike in that sense. For no apparent rhyme or reason, they'd take an instant disliking to most females, excepting each other. On the other hand, one look at Guy, and Genma could tell his comrade was smitten with the young woman in red. Sadly, Guy, with his unique personality, always had difficulties when it came to attracting the attention of women, especially when Hatake was around—which Guy downplayed lightheartedly. In fairness to Konoha's eligible kunoichi, the only suitable match for Konoha's Blue Beast was Anko Mitarashi. But, the dumpling-eating sadist had fucked the Copy-Nin too. More than once, if the rumours were true.
Ugh.
Genma shuddered at the thought of Anko bedding anyone.
"Dammit, Chōji! Leave some for the rest of us," squawked Naruto. The rotund teen ignored the plea from his comrade and promptly stuffed his mouth, discarding three kebab sticks.
"Slow down, Naruto. You're going to…choke." Sakura beat Naruto's back with a few heavy smacks.
"Hey, watch it, Forehead!" Ino grouched, shoving Naruto back towards the pinkette.
"Stop shoving! I'm trying to help him, Ino-pig!" Sakura snarled, sitting Naruto upright and waving her fists in protest.
Despite being on the latter end of their teens, the table comprising of Konoha's rookie ninjas were still a rowdy bunch. Idiots. However, their Jōnin leaders also spoke of their remarkable bonds. Heh. Genma supposed that sometimes friendship was just a pact between idiots who got themselves into the same mess. The purchase of an absurd birthday cake and sending his girlfriend to give a mutual friend a makeover came straight to his mind.
Genma grinned, lightly amused by the turn in the rookie's conversation to Sasuke and Naruto kissing back at the Academy.
Fuck, Little Sarutobi.
Even the younger generations had a more exciting love life than her. Shit. He wondered what it said for their friendship—and he considered Nina a friend—if he couldn't get the kunoichi a kiss.
*An hour or so later, at the bar*
~Asuma~
Blindsided by Genma, Asuma was trapped at the bar, listening to some brainless idea involving Nina. "You know, I don't think you have a death wish. It's just that sometimes, you do things that make me reconsider."
"I know, I know." Genma threw a finger up to the bartender for another round of drinks. "But so the fuck-what? It's just a bit of fun between friends, right?"
Troublesome as Nina may have been, random hookups weren't something he wanted for his sister. As for Genma's insane idea eventuating?
Well…
"She's more likely to tear your eyes out of your head," Asuma argued.
"What's all this now?" Guy chimed in.
All I wanted was a damn smoke.
Kurenai would return from the bathroom any second, meaning Asuma had missed the opportunity to ask his student, Shikamaru, for a cigarette. "Nothing," he mumbled before knocking back the last of the saké in his cup.
"Great then, I'd say it's about time we had some cake!" Guy proclaimed, clapping his hands and sending Genma to fetch Kakashi.
~Kakashi~
The occupants at the booth eventually dwindled to him and Ayame; Jiraiya and Tsunade departed in favour of the gambling houses. Kakashi took advantage to relocate to the spot where Jiraiya had sat; it made him uncomfortable to have his back on the crowd.
"Quite the turnout for your birthday, isn't it?" Ayame commented, shifting restlessly in her seat across from him.
"Yeah, you could say that," Kakashi replied, turning a page.
Their conversation returned to dead air for a minute or two before Ayame spoke again. "You are important to a lot of people. It's easy to see why."
"Oh?" he responded, humouring her small talk.
"Well," Ayame inhaled, "you are always kind, even if you don't say much. You seem like you're a very loyal shinobi and friend. But…" Ayame trailed off, plucking at her nails.
Women regularly approached Kakashi with little to no effort on his behalf. Ayame had become increasingly uneasy around him for the last couple of weeks. Her infatuation with him was made more noticeable by her disinclination to leave the table when the others did. Laying his book down on the table, "But?"
"But, I never see you with anyone." Ayame's eyes darted around, unable to bring herself to look at him. "What I meant to say is, I-I've never seen you with a lady." Embarrassment enflamed her cheeks. "I was wondering if you would m-m-maybe like to—" she stammered, stopping when Genma cleared his throat.
~Genma~
"Sorry to break up the moment," Genma apologised—far from genuinely—resting a hand on Ayame's shoulder. He'd seen the brief flit of Kakashi's eye in his direction as he approached the table. "The birthday boy's needed at the bar," he relayed.
Kakashi stood, pocketing his book and took two steps forward, putting him in line with Ayame. "Guy?"
"Yep. I'm just the messenger," Genma stated, chewing on his senbon.
Kakashi hummed, then leaned in hummed, ashi hummed, lmouth. i pouchclose to whisper in Ayame's ear—none of which Genma could make out with the noise around them. But he had his guesses.
Walking past the table of rookies, Genma figured he'd enlist some help for Guy—not that he'd accept it. "Oi kid."
"Huh? You'll have to be more specific," Shikamaru grumped, scratching his earlobe.
"Hatake's student. The one with the goofy-looking face," Genma clarified.
"He means you, Naruto," Sasuke glowered.
Genma practically shouted his instructions over the mockery exploding from the table. "Look, just one or two of you go and help Guy in the kitchen." He didn't care who went; his priority, right now, was to put distance between himself and the Copy-Nin.
~Asuma~
"How drunk are you?" Asuma asked, holding a hand out behind his sister's back as she lolled against the bar.
"…Yes," Nina replied. The sound that left her was something in between a hiccup and a giggle. While hailing down the barman's attention, she muttered, "I'm not drunk, just a little light-headed."
"You say that as if you aren't dribbling saké on your shirt." With one hand, she waved Asuma off and brushed the heel of her other palm across her chin. Asuma set down his unfinished drink, grabbing hold of his sister's wrist, "Come on, I'm taking you home."
"What? No!" Nina pouted, jerking out of his reach and weaving into the congregating crowd.
With his back to the bar, Asuma caught sight of Genma taking cover next to one of the many massive red pillars within Shushu-ya, alongside Hanako. Thankfully Nina appeared to be heading in their direction.
Without a cigarette, and his sister in fine form, Asuma ordered a whiskey; saké wasn't going to cut it. When Kurenai reappeared from her bathroom break, he led her by the hand to join the others by the pillar.
~Guy~
Guy threw his head back and laughed, entertained immensely by the dynamic quarrel between his and his rival's student.
"Bushier Brows Sensei, why is your face on Kaka Sensei's cake?" Naruto demanded, scrutinising the unboxed rectangular dessert.
"It is a splendid face, isn't it?" Guy championed.
"Yes, Guy Sensei!" confirmed Lee, displaying an accentuated thumbs up at his teacher.
"But Bushy Brows, it's not even his birthday!" Naruto wailed.
"Guy Sensei is a remarkable and very handsome man. I think he makes the cake even more splendid," professed Lee.
Irrespective of how old they'd gotten, this was the part Guy enjoyed the most—witnessing Kakashi's facial expression morph into a comical mix of anguish and bewilderment upon seeing his cake. Guy gripped his rival's biceps tightly, pivoting him to face outwards to the party guests swarming on the other side of the cake table.
~Kakashi~
Kakashi blinked. It was a cake, as flagrant as the man who'd ordered it, with the immaculately piped words 'Happy 31st Birthday' in a buttercream speech bubble. He blinked again. Not forgetting the…
Yep, as I thought.
Thirty-one multi-coloured wax candles.
Shushu-ya erupted into a chorus of voices singing Happy Birthday; no one louder than the outrightly proud Guy. Kakashi winced as the singing regressed from slightly out of tune to terribly out of tune. The end to his annual dose of public humiliation drew closer when the barman handed him a sharp knife.
"Y-You, you touched the bottom Kaka-Sensei!" Naruto shrieked, one hand on his head and one pointing at the cake whilst bouncing from foot to foot.
No.
When they were younger, Genma had warned Kakashi that Guy took those stupid customary etiquettes seriously. Guy assuming the role should a female not be present was never out of the realm of possibilities, and so, Kakashi had always been cautious to never slice through to the board under his birthday cakes.
Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. One too many excitable characters around him had steered him into this presumably inevitable disaster.
"Yes indeed, my friend," Guy snorted, clapping Kakashi on the shoulder. "You've got to kiss the nearest girl."
~Asuma~
Giddy with excitement, Genma backhanded Asuma's shoulder. With the smidgen of disbelief that it'd been deliberate, Asuma looked to Guy.
Well, I'll be.
Guy was sporting a very pronounced wink at them. "Did you tell him about your idea?" Asuma asked, genuinely interested in the answer.
"Nope, didn't say a fucking thing," Genma smugly replied, crossing his arms across his chest.
Figures. Guy seldom hears something if it pertains to him, but if it doesn't, he hears every word.
"Well, we've never let a bad idea stop us," Asuma muffled into his glass, mindful that Nina stood within earshot.
Genma tongued his senbon playfully to the other side of his mouth. Their smirks—a silent agreeance—earned the attention of both Kurenai and Hanako.
Stepping back from Nina, Kurenai shouldered into Asuma, asking as quietly as possible, "So, what's the plan?"
Hanako queried them too. "You do have a plan, right?"
"We have like,"— Asuma passed dubious looks with Genma—"five percent of a plan. We're just winging it from here," Asuma concluded.
"You cannot be serious?" Kurenai and Hanako simultaneously snapped.
Asuma held his right finger to his lips, silently hushing them. The plan didn't need to be complex. The simpler, the better. If they worked together, it was possible to pull something off. After all, there was no foul in a bit of humour amongst friends.
"Time to add a little bit of fucking colour to this grey, dreary party," Genma quietly declared, slinging an arm around Asuma's shoulder.
