Authors Note: I do not own Oshi No Ko, all rights belong to their original copyright holder

I lied again, I'm enjoying writing this too much.

But I go back to work day after tomorrow, so my time will be cut in half so the chances of these daily updates continuing is low.

Admittedly I thought about adding more to this chapter, but next chapter is looking like another long one anyway, so I wanted to get one more chapter out before work would interfere.

Anyway, thanks for reading as always and hope you enjoy.


Sensei…

Sensei why….

Why did you….

Why did you let me die sensei…

..

Aqua's eyes suddenly shot open, his breathing ragged as he laid on the floor of the directors, still in his dress clothes that he had taken Ruby out on a date with. After arriving at the directors place once he was done with the date, Aqua had sat back down at his labtop and just went back to work on the project that he had previously pulled up, intending to finish it before sleeping.

However, it seemed like he had fallen asleep while working, hence why he was suddenly laying on the floor asleep.

Looking to the side, he saw Taishi was fast asleep in his work chair, another project opened up on his monitors as well.

Collecting himself from the nightmare he was suddenly having, Aqua pushed himself up into a sitting position and ran a hand over his face as he looked at the clock on his laptop.

Almost seven in the morning already, meaning his classes would start in about an hour. Aqua gave a small yawn as he saved the work on his project and closed the laptop, as he pushed himself up and began undressing from the dress clothes he still had on as he threw them onto the directors unmade bed, as Aqua grabbed a casual T-Shirt and sweatpants as he threw them on.

He would have to go home to grab his school uniform first, and it would be suspicious if he went home in dress clothes, especially since he didn't take either Kana or Mem-Cho out to the theater like he told Miyako he was going to.

Once he was dressed in more casual clothes, Aqua grabbed his phone and stuffed it into his pocket before quietly making his way out of the apartment all together, before coming out the front door as the morning breeze washed over him, as he shook a bit from it. The sun was just starting to rise, so a dim light illuminated the streets.

Rubbing a hand over his head once more, Aqua attempted to push through the headache that was trying to come over him as he began walking down the street and towards his house. Images of that dream rushing through his head…

Why did you let me die sensei…

Aqua narrowed his eyes as his hands gripped themselves into a ball, as pure darkness illuminated itself into one eye.

Yet…

His hand loosened itself up as he raised it to his cheek where he had been kissed last night, as he allowed an exhausted sigh to come out as his eyes went back to being blank.

Life was too complicated, at times.

The rest of the walk was relatively peaceful, save for a few girls heading to school recognizing him and attempting to ask for his autograph, he was able to make it home with time to spare.

Walking up the steps, Aqua pushed the door open as he looked inside, wondering if anybody was home. As soon as he stepped in, the smell of coffee grazed against his nose as Miyako soon appeared in his view holding a coffee cup. "Home late, aren't you?"

She said with a small smile, as Aqua just shrugged and made his way in as he walked past her and towards his room.

"Ruby's already left for school, so I was trying to clean around the place since I figured you had a spare uniform at the directors."

"No, I don't…" Aqua replied dryly, continuing to walk forward as Miyako gave a small chuckle.

"No need to be so awkward Aqua, did your date with Kana or Mem not go well last night?"

"I didn't take either of them." Aqua kept his responses short, attempting to fight off the headache that was still attempting to push through as Miyako tilted her head to the side.

"Oh…Did you take Akane then?"

"No…"

"Then…Who? If you didn't go, I want those tickets back so I can get a refund on them." Miyako spoke in somewhat annoyance and disappointment, as she started to walk closer to Aqua to collect the tickets she had given him the day prior.

"I went…With the Director…" Miyako stopped walking as she just stared at Aqua in dumbfoundness, as her head tilted even more.

"You…Went to a romantic-comedy teenager film…With a forty year old man…?"

"...Yes, I did." Miyako just looked at Aqua in confusion and worry, as she just raised his coffee up to her lips and took a small sip as she nodded. "Aqua, maybe you should sign up for a dating website…"

Aqua rolled his eyes as he just kept walking forward and up the steps to his room, opening the door and walking in as the headache he had kept getting worse and worse. Quickly walking over to his closet to grab his uniform, Aqua pulled his dresser open…Only for something to fall out and land on the floor.

Looking down, Aqua noticed it was a picture of sorts, so he bent down and grabbed it. When he looked at it, he was somewaht taken aback.

It was a picture of him and Ruby holding hands up high, as they walked down the streets together. It was dark outside, so it was from the second time they did so.

As Aqua looked at it, he flipped the picture over and saw something was written on it.

Took this when you weren't looking, sorry but I knew you would say a regular picture would be too dangerous.

Hope you're not mad, but…I wanted something to remember last night.

I also used your PC to hook my phone up and print it.

Have fun changing!

-XOXO Ruby.

Aqua just looked at the back of the picture, before closing his eyes as his headache slowly started to vanish as he chuckled. "This girl…"

Reaching inside his pocket and pulling his wallet out, Aqua folded the picture and placed it inside before closing it back up.

With his headache now somewhat subdued, Aqua pulled his school uniform out as he started to change into it, before dropping his phone and wallet into his pockets as he stretched. "Alright, I should get going…"

Walking over and grabbing his bag off of his desk, Aqua flung it over his shoulder as he began the journey to the prison known as school.


The school bell rung to indicate the start of lunch as Aqua gave a sigh and stretched in his seat, his neck somewhat sore from sleeping on the floor the night prior and then immediately waking up and having to get ready for school.

As Aqua pushed himself up from his chair, a few of the girls in his class all looked over towards him and whispered amongst each other, with a few daring each other to go ask him out.

It was tiring, he thought, especially since the only reason they even liked him in the first place was because of that stupid reality tv show.

When he first enrolled here, nobody cared about him, even after he did Sweet Today. It wasn't until he got his name out there with the reality show that the girls started to show interest in him, and especially once he and Akane kissed at the end.

He often debated with himself if he was really so much different when it came to Ai, but he always defended his admiration of her thanks to Sarina…Was that really true, or was it just the shield he used?

He wasn't even sure himself.

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Aqua walked out of his classroom without incident as he made his way down the hall, not entirely sure where to head next. On one hand, it would make sense to have lunch with Ruby…But on the other, she was likely with her friends from the performing arts department…

As he walked down the hallway with conflicting thoughts, he suddenly heard running footsteps behind before a familiar voice called out. "Aqua-kun!"

Turning around to face the noise, he raised an eyebrow as he saw who was approaching. "Oh, Arima."

Kana came to a stop a few feet from him, breathing hard from the running. "G-Glad I caught you! I wanted to ask if you want to have lunch together?"

"Hm? That's out of character for you, usually you would cuss me out then ask me."

"E-Eh? Well I just…" Kana looked towards the ground, catching her breath before she answered. "I just feel bad is all, alright? I didn't know you and Ruby lost someone close to you when you were younger with that Sarina girl so…"

Kana trailed off as if she wasn't sure what else to say, as Aqua just looked at her for a few seconds before nodding. "Alright, though don't sit too close, I have a relationship to maintain with Akane…For now."

"Right…Wait…What do you mean for now?" Kana tilted her head as Aqua looked back, and spoke with a hint of darkness in his eye. "I plan to break up with her at the earliest opportunity, maybe once Tokyo Blade is finished."

Kana went wide eyed at his words, before a small smile adorned her face as she nodded, not upset at all with what she heard. "I-I see…"

Kana followed behind Aqua quietly after that, humming to herself as they eventually made their way out to the courtyard and walked over to an empty bench as Aqua sat down on one side and Kana on the other. The two of them pulled their food out and began preparing it, as Kana looked over at Aqua with a smile. "So, Aqua-kun, any reason you're breaking up with Akane so quickly?"

"Keep your voice low, there are others nearby." Aqua snapped back at her as he pulled the instant lunch out from his bag and pulled it open, before pulling his chopsticks apart and went to stirring it. "Anyway, enough time has passed that the general public doesn't care anymore, they've already moved onto the next big thing. I also hate that I can't go out in public without people either asking me about her, or even stalking me to see if I'm meeting up with some other girl. It's not like the two of us can't still be friends afterwards, I just think this public facade needs to end."

"Hmmm…" Kana mused as she opened up her bento and took a bite as she slowly chewed and swallowed before nodding. "I mean it makes sense, celebrities like you two will always have people obsessing over your relationship if you make it public. It's why most celebrities try to hide their love lives, since romance makes people go crazy more than anything else."

"You're preaching to the choir you know." Aqua said with a deadpan tone, taking another bite of his food.

"Well still, it's good advice to know for the future! E-Especially if, you get a girlfriend for real or something…" Kana let her voice die a little as she looked towards the side with a blush, as an awkward silence came over the two of them.

"Arima…" Aqua said with a low voice, giving a sigh as he leaned back and looked up to the sky. "I know you have feelings for me."

"E-Eh…" Kana went wide eyed once again, before quieting down and looking towards the side. "That's…"

"And you need to grow out of those feelings." Aqua said without hesitation, as Kana stiffened and looked away. "It's not healthy to hold onto feelings that-"

"You think I don't know that?" Kana snapped back, her voice low and angry as she gripped her chopsticks. "You think I don't know I'm only setting myself up to get hurt? Do you not know what I went through when I saw you kiss-"

"I'm not oblivious, of course I know…Which is why I'm telling you, that you need to find somebody else." Aqua's voice was to the point, as Kana bit down on her lip as tears slowly formed in her eyes.

"...Why are you telling me this now, Aqua…"

"...It's the same reason I'm breaking up with Akane, but you can't tell anyone."

"Huh?" Kana looked over towards Aqua with teary eyes, as he kept looking up at the sky. "What?"

"...I'm breaking up with Akane, and telling you not to love me anymore…Because I've realized that love is a foreign concept to me, or at least…It's not a feeling I deserve anymore."

"…What are you talking about Aqua?" Kana said with a bit of bitterness in her voice, not ready to entertain any stupid games that Aqua might have been playing.

"Well, you said you wanted to know more about Sarina, right? She's the reason I don't deserve love anymore, her and…Ai…"

"You're not making any sense." Kana said with a low tone, as Aqua shifted himself and sighed.

"I couldn't save Sarina, no matter what I tried, even when everybody else abandoned her, I stayed with her, yet…She looked up to me, she asked me to save her. But do you know what happened after she asked me to save her?" Aqua's voice had a hint of emotion come out with it, as he gripped his hands. "She dies…I held her hand as she asked me to save, and let her die!"

Aqua placed a hand over his eyes, trying to collect his breathing the best he could, as Kana just stared at him in shock, seeing this side of Aqua for the first time. "Aqua…"

Kana gulped as she hesitated, and just kept staring at Aqua…Before a single tear escaped out from his hand and rolled down his cheek. His headache from earlier erupted back in full force, his nightmares ringing in his ears…

Why did you let me die sensei…

"I…I'm sorry…Sarina…" Aqua whispered as Kana finally gulped and went to lay a hand on him…

Only for someone to suddenly hug Aqua from behind, her blond hair flowing in front of Kana as Aqua was shocked by the sudden touch. Her hands were warm, as he felt her face against his as tears continued to come down his face. Aqua tilted his face to the side to look at who it was. "Sa…Ruby…"

The girl who had suddenly hugged him from behind was Ruby, her own eyes holding in tears as she just hugged Aqua's neck, as she quickly spoke up. "Aqua…Sarina-Chan…Doesn't blame you…She never did!"

Aqua's eyes went wide, the darkness in them going completely blank as more tears ran down his face, his hand balling up as he bit down onto his lip. "B-But…"

"Please, Aqua…" Ruby hugged him tighter as Kana just looked on at the scene with wide eyes before letting her hand fall to the bench.

Of course, she thought, Sarina was a close friend of both Aqua's and Rubys…

It would make sense that they were both still affected to this day.

She didn't even know the girl herself, so what right did she have to comfort either of them? It was something only the two of them knew how to handle…

In that instance, Kana closed her eyes and gave a small smile, before nodding. "I see, so that's what…Aqua is like when he loves someone…"

Her voice was sad and full of hurt, yet she held back her own tears and just sat there as Ruby slowly calmed Aqua down, as she raised a hand to wipe away his tears.

A few onlookers attempted to check up and make sure everything was alright, but Kana shooed them away and just told them it was a personal family matter.

After a few minutes of Ruby just hugging Aqua's neck, he finally collected himself as he motioned for Ruby to let go as she slowly did, raising herself as she stood behind Aqua and kept her hands on his shoulders. Aqua had tears stains on his face and his breathing was hard, as he coughed out. "S-Sorry…G-Guess I ruined your lunch…"

"O-Oh No! It's alright! I-It's my fault…" Kana whispered out as she looked on at Aqua, as he sat his own lunch to the side and finally pushed himself to his feet.

"I-I'm going to the bathroom." Aqua spat out before quickly walking away, leaving Kana and Ruby behind. The two of them looked on with worry, before Kana looked down at the ground and shook her head.

"Sorry…That was…My fault for prying."

"H-Huh? Oh no, don't worry Loli-Senpai…Onii Chan has…A Lot of darkness in him, he's been through a lot more than he lets on. I was listening in your conversation, sorry about that…I saw you two and was going to join you when I suddenly heard Aqua mention your feelings for him and…Kinda hid to listen in."

"Heh, you're quite the snitch, aren't you?" Kana gave a small joke, as tears formed in her eyes and ran down her face. "So you heard him then, he said that I should give up my feelings for him…And I agree."

"Y-You do?"

"Yeah…Whoever this Sarina girl was…I can tell Aqua truly loved her, to the point where even to this day he can't get over her death…I've never seen him have that same emotion for myself or even Akane…" Kana said with more hurt and sadness in her voice, as she pushed herself up and wiped her eyes. "But…This is for the best, especially since me and you are co-workers now. This doesn't mean I'll completely give up on him, but…The day I see him cry like that for somebody, is that day that I'll know his heart is truly taken."

Kana said as she wiped her face again, before picking up her bento and wrapping it.

"S-Sorry I'm…Going to get ready for our next class." Kana quickly said as she began to walk away, leaving Ruby by herself as she watched after her. Eventually however, Ruby looked towards the ground and sighed as she placed her hands together.

"Sensei still blames himself for my death…I…I'm sorry Sensei…"


Aqua stood in front of the sink in the bathroom, his hands gripping it as the faucet was running as water dripped off of his face. He had splashed himself a few times with water, trying to clear his mind as he slowly collected his breathing.

As he stood there, a new voice spoke out from behind him.

You let her die…

Aqua looked up quickly and in the mirror, he saw it…The black silhouette of his old life, of Gouro Amamiya standing behind him in the mirror.

You let Sarina Tendouji die…

Gouro spoke once again, as Aqua gripped hard onto the sink and shook his head, more tears forming in his eyes. "I…Couldn't-"

You were a doctor, it was your job to save lives…Yet you failed.

Aqua took a deep gulp, his throat was dry, as he slammed his hands together and collected water in them as he splashed it onto his face, rubbing his eyes, yet the Gouro in the mirror did not vanish as he continued.

You let Sarina die…Then you let her mother die also…Whether as Gouro Amamiya or Aquamarine Hoshino, you're a failure.

Aqua bit down onto his lip, drawing blood as it dipped down into the sink, water continuing to drip off of his face. His breathing was hot and rough, his legs threatening to give out. "I-I…"

Yet despite being a failure, you had the audacity to enjoy yourself last night? Failures like yourself are only good for one thing…

The Gouro in the mirror suddenly vanished, before a new figure appeared…It was Aqua's younger self, stained in blood, as he looked at Aqua and smiled.

Failures like us…Are only good for revenge.

Both of the younger Aqua's eyes shined brightly with darkness, as Aqua covered his mouth with his hand, his stomach attempting to revolt as the young Aqua kept pestering him.

All you have to do is kill our good for nothing Father…Do that and everything will be better, you can finally be happy once you do that! Kill him, and you can avenge both Ai and Sarina!

"Just…Kill him…" Darkness flickered in both of Aqua's eyes, his balance becoming more unsteady as his vision was blurry, the sickness in his stomach still bubbling up as-

Bzzt A buzzing sound was heard from Aqua's pocket as he looked down at it, shakily putting his hand into his pocket and pulling it out as he read the text message that had been sent to him.

Hey, I'm nearby if you need me. I'm serious with what I said, I didn't blame you at the time and I don't blame you now either. In fact, the reason I love you is because you were always with me…Even when my parents were too busy for me, you were always there. You're the reason I lived as long as I did, you gave me the courage to not give up…So please, sensei, please don't blame yourself…Because I never once blamed you. -Ruby

Aqua just looked at his phone, his hand shaking as more tears formed in his eyes, as he completely lost balance and fell to his knees, the young Aqua still looking at him in the mirror.

She doesn't know what she's talking about…All you have to do is get revenge…Get revenge, for both her and Ai!

Ai listened to the Young Aqua as he barely held himself up, more and more tears running down his face as he gripped his hands.

All you have to do is get revenge!

The young Aqua yelled.

Because I never once blamed you.

The text message Ruby sent yelling back.

Back and forth, these two inter conflicting thoughts went back and forth before Aqua finally squeezed his hand and brought it up, before bringing it down to the sink. "Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!"

Aqua yelled to the top of his lungs, looking in the mirror at the young Aqua as he snarled. "I'll get our revenge for Ai, I will tear that bastard apart! But…But…Leave Sarina out of this!"

Aqua yelled with more emotion than he had given in years, as both of his eyes shined brightly. One with pure darkness and the other…With pure light.

As soon as Aqua said this, the young Aqua in the mirror stopped talking, and just gave a small smile, before completely vanishing, leaving Aqua all alone in the bathroom as he stayed on his knees, more tears rushing down his face as he shook his head. "D-Dammit…"

Aqua attempted to push himself to his feet, but before he could, footsteps quickly approached before a figure ran into the bathroom and knelt down beside him as they wrapped their arms around him. "It's okay Sensei, I'm here, I promise!"

"...Ruby…" Aqua pushed out the words as Ruby suddenly ran into the restroom and pulled him into a hug, as she laid his face on her shoulder and just held him tight. "I…"

"Shh, don't say anything sensei, It's ok…I-I heard you yell shut up and about tearing someone apart and leaving me out of it, I just…Please sensei, I'm here, I promise you everything is okay!" Ruby said as she fought back tears, petting his head gently as she rocked him back and forth.

Aqua just laid in her arms, all of his strength gone as more tears rolled down his face, his vision going more and more blurry as he opened his mouth to speak as he began to lose consciousness. "...T-Thank you…S-Sarina…"

…..

..


3 Days Later

"Alright everyone, rehearsal starts in forty minutes, make sure you're ready!" The director yelled out to the entire cast that had shown up for practice that day, as Akane sat by herself once again, looking as a rather confused expression was on her face. She had been trying to contact Aqua the past couple of days to no avail, only to finally go to his house and learn he had been unconscious and had now just finally woken back up.

It was a shock to be sure, and only deepened the mystery to her even more. She had spent the past three days studying more on Ai, trying to find out anything that she could that could potentially paint a picture of why Aqua wanted to know more information about her so badly.

Yet she found almost nothing, and so she decided to also explore why Aqua had skipped practice the other day though so far she barely had information on that front either. Before coming to practice, she had sent a group text out her old reality show stars, asking them if they had by chance seen Aqua anywhere that day, yet so far she didn't have any luck.

So now she was going to the next best source that she knew of. "So…You too huh?"

"Yes, Producer Kaburagi." Kaburagi stood beside Akane with the script in front of him, as he half heartedly looked it over. He didn't intend to stay for the rehearsal today, but Akane suddenly called him over and told him not about Aqua's condition, but also she asked him a question.

If he could give her information on Ai as well.

Kaburagi kept looking over the script, as he thought about what to say. "Hm, you did good work in the reality tv show and you're in Tokyo Blade as well, so I don't mind telling you something…But if you want anything more after today, I expect to be compensated."

"Of course sir, all I ask is for you to tell me everything you told Aqua, along with anything extra as well." Kaburagi gave a sigh as he closed the script and laid it beside him, as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it before nodding.

"Alright, when it comes to Aqua…" And so Kaburagi recounted to Akane what he had told Aqua, from how Ai was a street girl with no social self awareness, before she was sent to the very theater they were now in and how she started acting more like a woman, likely because she had met someone secretly.

Akane nodded as she had her phone out, typing everything Kaburagi told her on a notepad app, to ensure she didn't forget anything important. "I see…That lines up with my analysis that she likely had sex during puberty…Could that also mean…?"

As Akane whispered to herself, her phone suddenly buzzed as she got a text message response from the group.

Oh yeah, I saw him that night close to Ten PM at the Shirogane Theater, he was waiting in line to see a movie. -Yuki

Akane was caught off guard by the text, as she quickly opened it and replied back.

Really? What movie? Was he with anybody? -Akane

As Akane sent the text back, Kaburagi took another puff of his cigarette as he shrugged. "In terms of things I didn't tell Aqua, it wasn't really anything groundbreaking. Her and B-Komechi were formed when she was around twelve years old, though she didn't really hit the big time until she was around Sixteen I guess. Then she had her big break when she got sick of course."

"Hm? When she got sick?" Kaburagi nodded, giving another puff as he explained.

"About sixteen to seventeen years ago, she suddenly had to take a hiatus of about six months. Her agency said she had gotten really sick, though obviously no medical papers ever came out. Alot of people thought she was secretly retiring, but she came back eventually and her true rise to fame began not too long after that."

"Six months…Producer Kaburagi, do you have any pictures of Ai right before she took her break?"

"Hm, not on me, but I could look for one to send to you if you want."

"That would really help…If my theory is correct and she had a secret kid, then was the time off for pregnancy? Six months though would mean she was pretty far in before taking off, maybe fifteen to twenty weeks? Taking into account her recovering after giving birth and getting rid of the baby fat, along with saggy breasts…"

Akane thought on the issue more and more, as Producer Kaburagi gave one last puff of his cigarette before crushing it and putting the bud into his pocket. "In any case, if you want more information than that, I'll expect future work from you in the future. I assume that isn't a problem?"

"Huh? Oh no that's perfectly fine! Thank you for everything you shared with me today!"

"Yeah, oh and tell Aqua I hope he gets better soon…This industry leaves a mental toll on you, but if he's already passing out from the stress, he isn't going to last long in it."

"R-Right, I'll tell him." Kaburagi gave a nod and walked off, as Akane gave a sigh as she went back to writing everything down on the notepad app on her phone. As she did so however, another text from Yuki came through.

It was the adaptation of Renai Daikou that recently came out and has been a huge hit, I really enjoy it. He came with his sister Ruby, that idol who is in the new B-Komechi. -Yuki

"With Ruby?" Akane pondered as she tilted her head, yet another text came through before she could reply.

I snapped a picture of them because I loved Ruby's outfit and want to try to match it sometime, here it is. -Yuki

As soon as Yuki said that, she sent the picture across as Akane opened it and saved it to her phone. The picture showed Ruby and Aqua standing in line next to each other, both of them dressed up and talking to one another.

As Akane looked at the phone, her eyes honed in on Aqua's expression, as even more confusion ran over her as she tilted her head.

"Why does Aqua look so…"

Akane trailed off, trying to find the right word…

"Look so…Happy…?"