Chapter I
The room is colder than usual. Some of the medical instruments are out of place, as if carefully set aside in case something or someone might cause a disturbance. But there will be none of that. I never say a word. I never move, until he asks me.
He closes the door and bids me lay in the stretcher. Some days, he sits beside me for hours, contemplating my face or my body. Deep down, I can only feel grateful for the way he looks at me, although I can't understand the reason behind it or for how long will this continue. Anyway, I don't ask. Partly, because I don't want to; and partly, because it's all I know. And I have come to terms with that. It is what I have been instructed to do, what is expected from me.
He unbuttons my shirt, delicately. Although irregular, the skin on his hands is soft and fragile. Their warmth contrasts with the chilly air, which makes me shiver as they start tracing my chest. As always, I undo the buttons on his trousers. It all flows smooth, since it's happened for as long as I can remember. It's our ritual.
The stretcher shudders as the thrusts grow in cadence and intensity. I endure the pain. Regularly, doctors check on me and make me undergo several procedures. At first, I could only interpret this as another task, but the intimacy with him imbues it with another layer. I've come to long for it. I accept the pain. As the lights flicker, he lets himself go and falls over me. My eyes are fixed on the ceiling while the silence grows thicker. Sometimes I can hear him breath. Some others, I would say he sobs, but I am not sure. It's not often that he lets me meet his gaze. This time, I try to embrace him, surrounding his hips with my arms. It doesn't last for long. After standing, he dresses up. Maybe another day, I think.
"Goodbye, Rei," he says.
"Goodbye, Commander Ikari."
