Three months had passed, and JJ could sense the mounting stress in John B. Big John hadn't returned, and he hadn't called or answered his phone since he left, which was highly unusual. Even on his longest trips, he always made contact. At first, JJ managed to distract John B from his worry, but now she could see he was on the brink of a breakdown. She had exhausted all excuses for why Big John hadn't reached out, and she shared his growing concern.
JJ swallowed her own worries as she approached John B, who was pacing silently in the kitchen. She could sense that something significant had transpired between John B and his father during their last encounter. Whenever Big John was mentioned, John B's eyes betrayed a flicker of guilt, yet he never broached the subject, and JJ refrained from probing. Emotions had never been their forte; Pope and Kie were always the ones more comfortable with expressing feelings. But lately, Kie had been absent, and JJ couldn't shake the hurt that spiked through her heart whenever she thought of her friend.
Kie's parents' sudden prosperity had led to her moving schools and making new friends, leaving behind the Pogues. While JJ and John B were somewhat accustomed to feeling abandoned, it still stung deeply. Pope, in particular, seemed to feel the loss of Kie's presence acutely. JJ couldn't help but suspect that Pope harbored a small crush on Kie, though she wasn't entirely certain.
JJ missed Kie's presence more than ever in moments like these. Kie had always been the one who knew how to navigate emotional challenges and handle difficult situations with grace.
JJ heard the fridge open and snapped out of her thoughts as a bottle clinked onto the counter. She glanced over at John B in the kitchen, observing him pull out a bottle of vodka. A pang of fear shot through her for a moment, but she quickly pushed it aside. John B wasn't her father; he would never hurt her, no matter what.
She watched sadly as he took a large swig from the bottle, his actions speaking volumes about his inner turmoil. Resolved, JJ knew she couldn't stay silent any longer. She needed to say something.
"Joh-"
"Don't." He interrupts. Instead of speaking, she approached him and enveloped him in a warm embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist. Initially tense, John B eventually relaxed and reciprocated the embrace, his tension easing slightly as she held him close.
Feeling his distant demeanor, JJ gently took his hand and led him to the bedroom. She settled on the bed and pulled him down with her until they were spooning together, him holding her from behind. She could feel his breath against her neck, and she squeezed his hand reassuringly, offering comfort and support without words. John B buried his face in her hair, his arms tightening around her as they found solace in each other's presence throughout the night, until sleep finally overtook them.
The next morning, JJ woke up still cradled in John B's arms. Sensing something pressing into her back, her heart skipped a beat momentarily. She carefully extricated herself from his embrace, not wanting to wake him, and quietly made her way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, trying to gather herself together.
John B stumbled into the kitchen about 20 minutes later, still looking half-asleep with bed head. JJ greeted him with a plate of eggs and toast, silently observing as he ate. The atmosphere between them was subdued, the weight of their unspoken worries hanging in the air.
After breakfast, JJ was halfway through her shower, but her senses sharpened when she heard a knock at the door. She strained to make out John B's voice answering, followed by some indistinct conversation, and then raised voices that escalated into yelling. She hastily dressed, rushing into the living room, but John B had already bolted from the house, the sound of the HMS Pogue roaring to life outside.
Standing wide-eyed by the kitchen table were two officers, their expressions grave. A piece of paper lay out in front of them, and a pit of dread settled in JJ's stomach as she approached slowly.
"What's going on?" JJ asked, her voice trembling with concern.
"We're calling off the search for John Routledge," one of the officers replied somberly. "He's been assumed lost at sea, and we need him to sign these papers."
Anger surged through JJ, but she bit back her words. Deep down, she feared it was the truth.
"Just go," JJ finally said, her voice edged with frustration and sadness. She needed to find John B, and the officers were standing in her way. They left without a word of apology, their faces unreadable, as if they hadn't just shattered a young boy's hope. In the Cut, they knew all too well that people like them didn't matter.
After the police departed, JJ searched tirelessly for John B, checking every spot she could think of, but he was nowhere to be found, not even at their usual haunts like the old church. Desperate to locate him, she reluctantly ventured into Kook territory.
JJ didn't expect to find John B in such a perilous situation, surrounded by Rafe Cameron, Topper, Kelce, and two other aggressive Kook goons in the expansive yard of a large house, with a raucous party happening inside. She quickly parked her dirt bike on the road, knowing she had to act fast.
As she approached, unnoticed for the moment, she heard the crack of John B's fist connecting with Rafe's face, fracturing his nose. The sound echoed through the tense air, sparking immediate retaliation. The other four Kooks pounced on John B, outnumbering him and quickly overpowering him. Topper and Kelce restrained him while the other two delivered punches. John B struggled fiercely, managing to kick one of the Kooks in the knee, but he couldn't break free.
JJ's heart raced with fear and anger. She had to do something before things escalated further. Gathering her courage, she prepared to intervene, assessing the situation and calculating her next move.
As JJ ran towards the scene, she saw Rafe recovering and focusing his hatred on John B. Acting quickly to divert his attention, she spotted a rock and hurled it at the back of Rafe's head. The rock struck true, causing Rafe to whirl around with narrowed eyes, his gaze locking onto JJ with fury.
"Look what we have here boys! The island whore!" Rafe laughed, though he was still clearly angry. "Come to save your boy toy? I'm afraid I'm not done with him yet. He's gotta learn his place. Although.." He sticks his finger on his chin as if to think. JJ can see a glint in his eyes and the way his eyes swept over her gave her the creeps. "You're looking good tonight JJ, perhaps you could convince me to let him go."
John B struggled against the hands holding him, but when JJ smiled sweetly at Rafe he froze, not believing what he was seeing. She wouldn't actually sleep with Rafe would she?
JJ stepped up close to Rafe with a flirty gleam in her eye and in a seductive voice she said, "Well.. if a little time with little old me is all you want.." She bats her eyelashes and John B feels a little nauseous until he sees it. The wicked curve of her lip that she always gets when she's about to pull off one of her terrible plans that almost always land them in trouble.
Feeling the loosened grip of the boys holding him, John B seized the opportunity. With a swift, well-aimed elbow, he struck one of them in the face, causing him to stagger back with a grunt of pain. Freed from their hold, John B wasted no time. He ducked and twisted away, slipping out from between Topper and Kelce's grasp.
"Except I'd rather be dead!" He hears JJ laugh and he notices Rafe on the ground with his hands covering his crotch. John B quickly grabs JJ's hand and they book it, JJ no longer laughing as she focuses on keeping up.
John B and JJ ran as fast as they could, the adrenaline pumping through their veins as they sprinted away from the chaotic scene. They didn't stop until they reached the beach, collapsing onto the sand with heavy breaths. They sat in silence for a moment, the sound of crashing waves and their own breaths filling the air.
JJ's heart ached as she saw John B's bruised cheek and the stubborn yet heartbroken look on his face. She reached out tentatively, her fingers hovering near his bruise before gently touching his cheek. "John B," she began softly, her voice filled with concern and uncertainty. She wanted to comfort him, to ease the pain etched on his face, but words failed her.
He's hurting and she doesn't know how to help. Her dad was right. She's useless.
John B's fierce determination cut through the heaviness between them, his voice filled with raw emotion. "He's not dead, JJ. He's not. He can't be."
JJ felt a lump form in her throat, tears threatening to spill over, but she held them back. She knew John B needed strength and reassurance, not her own fear and sadness.
His voice wavered at the end of his denial, and JJ couldn't bear to see him hurting like this. She reached out, gently squeezing his hand. "I believe you, John B," she said softly, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her.
JJ felt a pang of guilt gnawing at her insides for not being able to muster the strength to tell John B the truth—that Big John might not be coming home. She wrestled with the conflict of whether denial was better than facing a harsh reality, but in that moment, seeing the relief wash over John B's face as if her words were a lifeline, she pushed those thoughts aside.
Taking a deep breath, JJ leaned closer to John B, squeezing his hand gently. "We'll find him, John B. We won't give up."
His grip tightened on her hand, a silent vow passing between them. They sat together on the beach, holding onto hope and each other, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
As they left the beach and returned to the chateau aboard the HMS Pogue, the morning sky began to lighten, casting a gentle glow over the horizon.
They both don't say anything else but the way John B lingers at his doorway, a silent plea in his eyes as he glanced back at JJ like he wants to ask her something is all she needs before she's following him to his room and falling asleep with him wrapped around her.
John B hesitated at his doorway, a silent plea in his eyes as he glanced back at JJ. Without a word, she understood. She followed him to his room, where they found solace in each other's presence, seeking comfort in the warmth of their shared embrace.
As sleep began to claim her, JJ held onto her last conscious thought: 'I'll always be here for you, John B. I'm going to make sure you're okay.'
