Hello everyone! Guess everybody's been real busy. The number of reviews that came in this week was far less than usual, but anyway I'd like to thank the people who did review my story. So thank you to: Clytuis, A happy reader, AresTheUnderlander, shadowofdarkness, HumanicHedgeHog, Darklord, Thiazzie, SlyIntellect and unknown. I hope more people can find the time to review this story, but I understand that life can get real intense so I'm not holding anything against you guys.
Anyway, this chapter features Mr Carter, a character from the first story of this trilogy. If you haven't read it, you should, or you might not get some parts of this chapter. This chapter may also reflect on some darker themes, so do be prepared to feel a little depressed. I wouldn't, but I understand that somethings that are spoken about may reflect a bit too much on human nature.
This chapter is written from Calvin's perspective.
Chapter 8: An Old Mentor
Calvin gently placed the phone against the moist skin of his cheek, making a face at the soft squelching noise as it came into contact. He didn't know whether his face was wet from crying or the rain- based on the heavy downpour and the amount of tears shed, it was probably a combination of both. He fidgeted on the grimy seats, uncomfortable from the rough, uneven edges and the way it creaked when he sat on it. Calvin wasn't even a particularly heavy person, yet this chair was threatening to collapse under his weight any minute.
Sitting on the other side of the soundproof glass was Mr Carter. He wore a shapeless, colour-coded smock, his face hinting at the man he had become in his old age- a man who had become truly weathered from the harrowing experiences in life and in prison. Calvin couldn't resist wincing when he saw some partially faded scars lingering on his face and neck. If you weren't a criminal before you entered prison, you would be if you came out. If you weren't broken yet, you would be broken in there. If you still had your dignity intact, it would be stripped from you by the time you left the prison.
And it almost broke Calvin's heart to see his teacher and mentor looking so shattered and fragile- especially after a life of adventure and a roller-coaster ride of darkness and redemption. He should never have entered that prison because he didn't deserve it. Of all the good people still alive on this planet, Mr Carter would have been one of the last on the list if they were sent to prison.
Mr Carter seemed to notice Calvin staring at his scars, so he cleared his throat and picked up the phone on his side, before speaking in a voice so hoarse that it was almost unrecognisable "Don't worry about it. I've had much worse," he said reassuringly.
Calvin almost managed a smile as he greeted Mr Carter, "It's been a long time."
"Indeed it has," Mr Carter agreed, "And I'm sure you have a lot to talk to me about. How has your training gone these last couple of months? Still keeping fit for the Underland?"
Calvin's face instantly fell, and he couldn't bear to meet Mr Carter's eyes as he answered, "I… I… I kinda stopped training Mr Carter. I haven't trained with a gun in two years, and I… I don't think I plan to pick a gun up ever again. I don't know if I'll ever go down there again."
He looked up sadly at Mr Carter, who seemed to reflect Calvin's emotions with an expression of sorrow. He cleared his throat again and replied, "It HAS been a while. When I last saw you, you were the hero of the Underland. Now you look like you've been living in the gutter for the last couple of months."
Mr Carter was right… Kind of. Calvin had been living in the metaphorical gutter- where his soul and purpose were slowly eroded by the rushing water of life. And the more life picked up its pace, the more weary and jaded Calvin became. Sometimes he wished for the rushing water to tear him down entirely and carry him along to a place he wouldn't expect or had never been to… But those were just dreams, illusions and false realities meant to cruelly give you hope where there was none. Calvin was an idealist living in a world where idealism was mocked, derided and long since dead. There was no place for idealism in this world- and even pseudo escapism in the form of the Underland could not protect him from the harsh and cruel world of reality.
"It's a pretty long story," Calvin told him, "You sure you want to hear the whole thing?"
"It can't be any worse than some of the stories I've heard in this prison," Mr Carter said with a shudder, "The worst part is that they talk about it in such gleeful way."
"I found Gregor," Calvin went straight to the point, "After I came back to the Overland I followed Nerissa's instructions to find him. And I did. We waited up here for almost a year, waiting for a sign which would call us back to the Underland. And then we did a couple of years ago. A vision from Nerissa to us telling us to go back. That's when I found out he was the Warrior."
"It took you nine months to figure out who he was?" Mr Carter replied incredulously, before apologetically adding, "Sorry about that. I just thought it would have been obvious to you the moment you saw him."
"I kinda figured there was something different about him," Calvin explained, a little miffed at Mr Carter's tone, "I just didn't figure out he was the Warrior. Anyway, we went back to the Underland and he got a hero's welcome. But that was also when shit started going down. Do you know who Edward is?"
"Mmm," Mr Carter responded, "I think I do, at least. I must have met him at least a couple of times when I went down there. He's one of Regalia's most prominent soldiers, if I am not wrong."
"You're not," Calvin confirmed, "He was one of Regalia's most prominent soldiers, though. Conrad convicted him of treason and sentenced him to death. I'm sorry, Mr Carter. I couldn't save him."
"Don't apologise to me," Mr Carter snorted, "You didn't offend me at all by failing to save him. But this is tragic news. I assume this wasn't the end to all the drama over these last three years."
"You're right," Calvin continued, "Apparently Edward's death was the result of a culmination of conflicts between those who wanted to keep Conrad in power and those who wanted him out. It was pretty much a civil war in the city, and I don't think it has really ended yet. Before I left the city, there were rumours of rebel rats gathering to reinstate Conrad as king of Regalia."
"Reinstate?" Mr Carter exclaimed in surprise, "He abdicated?"
"Not quite," Calvin answered, "I'll get to that in a moment. What happened after Edward's execution is more important for now. The spiders, cockroaches and moles all banded together and wanted to invade Regalia, because they were being ignored by Conrad and left to suffer, especially after Temp died."
"A civil war on two fronts," Mr Carter mused, "The word 'chaotic' seems underwhelming in describing the situation."
"Damn right," Calvin agreed, "It was an absolute mess. I went off to handle the rebellion from the other species while Gregor stayed in Regalia to handle the local masses. It didn't end well for either of us."
Mr Carter's face fell slightly as he said, "As much as I don't want to hear this part, I suppose have to so that I can keep up with what's going on in your world."
Calvin nodded sadly and replied, "Yea, this part's kinda unavoidable. Hecate was bitten by a spider and I thought she… I thought she…"
Tears began to form in Calvin's eyes as the memories stabbed right through the centre of his heart. He forced down the emotion and choked out, "I thought she was dead. And she nearly… she nearly died. But Howard was able to save her. Gregor…" He trailed off again.
"It's ok if you're not ready to tell me," Mr Carter replied gently, "We can always meet another time to talk."
"No," Calvin said firmly, "The truth must be told. Gregor killed a kid no older than eight or nine years old. And after that… he kinda spiralled down a dark path. He said he never wanted to fight again for fear of harming those he cared about. He pretty much became scared of himself and what he could do."
"It is as I feared," Mr Carter said gravely, "I have heard stories of ragers that have lost control. There's a reason there were no ragers in the Underland before Gregor came down, with the exception of Ripred of course. According to Vikus, most ragers lost control and murdered their loved ones, which got them sentenced to death. And torn apart by guilt, they often didn't resist execution. If these people weren't executed, they took their own lives so that the moral arc of the universe would bend towards justice. Those that didn't die by the hand of the king became outcasts. Ragers are lepers down there, Calvin. People fear them for the monsters they are and while people might marvel at their feats initially, they will eventually be discriminated against by society. They're killing machines that are often misunderstood. And they are only useful as long as the citizens need them to be useful, because let's face it, humans are a fickle race. We might love someone on one day and brand him a monster the next day. We only love and appreciate things when everything is fine and rosy. But when everybody is together in the mud and when we are so desperate to pull ourselves out, we'll cast the weirdos out because we become frightened that they will hold us down in the mud. It's the sad truth that even Gregor cannot escape. He was a god who became a criminal in the eyes of the Regalians."
"Yea," Calvin concurred, "He kinda disappeared for a while after that. And in the meantime the damage was done to other colonies outside Regalia. Flavius launched his assault along with the help of Operation Claw, and they destroyed the bat colony, the mouse and rat colonies, and finally the Fount."
"Operation Claw," Mr Carter snarled, "Those bastards really did put their plan in action. Wait… if they destroyed all the colonies… that would leave… that would leave Regalia as the last standing city. Are you up here.. Are you up here because Regalia… No, it can't be. Tell me Regalia isn't gone. Tell me it isn't gone, Calvin."
"It isn't, Mr Carter," Calvin answered, earning a sigh of relief from Mr Carter, "Regalia is still standing today, even if it's on top of a shaky foundation. But anyway, whilst all this destruction was going on, Gregor was lured out by Conrad into a cave, and was ambushed by Flavius and the royal guard. He survived but was badly injured."
"Conrad," Mr Carter growled, "I always he knew deep down that he was a treacherous son of a bitch."
"That's not all," Calvin said grimly, "Mareth was with him. It was Mareth who completed the trick on Gregor, Mr Carter. Mareth betrayed him by telling him that Luxa was captured, and then had him surrounded in a cave."
Mr Carter's face displayed a spectrum of emotions- from intrigue, to devastating shock, and finally to horror and disappointment. "I had a lot of respect for Mareth," he said softly, "I wouldn't expect this kind of betrayal to come from him of all people. In the short time I spoke to him, I came to see him as an honourable man. Why, Calvin? Why did he do that?"
"Loyalty to Conrad," Calvin recalled, "And he was fooled into believing that Gregor had become a cold-blooded murderer. So Gregor was left to die, while Conrad and Mareth flew back to Regalia and told everybody that Gregor had died in battle. I was in the hospital at that time and I believed them. We all believed them. There was even a freaking funeral in his honour."
"And did he actually die?" Mr Carter asked, although his tone suggested he already knew the answer to the question.
"No," Calvin answered anyway, "He was badly injured, but Operation Claw saved him so that they could convince him to join them."
"Of course they would," Mr Carter said bitterly, "Convince a fellow Overlander to fight for his own race. Only they would be so despicable as to turn a good human being into a genocidal maniac."
"Gregor didn't fall for it," Calvin assured him, "Apollo was able to rescue him and get him out of there before they could kill him. He came back to Regalia to get Conrad arrested for high treason, but he nearly got himself killed in the process."
"Let me guess," Mr Carter said confidently, "He didn't have enough evidence to have Conrad arrested for treason."
"Damn, you got it spot on," Calvin replied, impressed at Mr Carter's guess, "He was saved by… wait for it… Mareth. Mareth redeemed himself by saving him."
Mr Carter's face lit up slightly as hope seemed to dawn in his eyes once again. "Looks like Mareth wasn't beyond saving," he remarked with a sigh, "I feel as if I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, and I wasn't even there to experience it."
"But even though Conrad was arrested and Gregor was saved," Calvin went on, "Regalia wasn't done yet. The civil war hadn't really ended, and it took both Ripred and me to stop the civil war in Regalia."
"So you did get involved after all," Mr Carter grinned, "I was starting to wonder whether you ended up being a fifth wheel in this whole saga."
"Very funny," Calvin replied sarcastically, although he couldn't suppress a small grin from breaking out, "But then news came that Regalia was about to become under siege by the foxes and Operation Claw. But we were nowhere close to ready and all our allies were down. So we gathered in the Council hall to decide whether to surrender to the foxes or to fight them to the death. There was kind of a consensus that we were all going to die at the end of the day. But out of nowhere, all the other species who had been fighting us earlier decided to unite with us. The spiders, the cockroaches, the moles, the bats, the rats, the mice and even the other humans from the Fount. Like, I don't even know how we would have made it without them. They all just seemed to unite together for one last stand against the foxes and Operation Claw. It was just… awesome. I got goosebumps from it."
"That must have been quite a scene," Mr Carter acknowledged, "And where does Gregor fit into all of this?"
"He decided not to fight," Calvin told Mr Carter with a slight grimace, "I tried to speak to him that night but he just wouldn't fight. He was just too frightened of hurting someone and paying the price for it. That night, the guilt of killing the kid really came back to haunt him."
"I saw that coming," Mr Carter admitted, "There can only be so many demons that we can live with. Sometimes there is no logic or reason to wipe away the guilt that we bear. It stays with us forever."
As he spoke, Mr Carter's face started to reveal the inner turmoil within him as he closed his eyes and his jaw tightened. Calvin looked down in sorrow as well. So this was what it was like- living with the guilt of the people you killed every day. No matter how much good you did in the end, it was never enough to cleanse you of the most abhorrent, disgusting sins you had committed. Calvin was once someone who never had to bear that cross, but now he truly felt for Gregor. Now he truly knew the difficulty of having to live through every single day with the knowledge that someone else wasn't able to, because of what he did. He was going through that very experience.
And then Calvin looked up and found himself staring straight at Vikus.
His heart slammed against his chest as he scrambled backwards, knocking the chair over in the process. All his senses became dull as his eyes were focused straight at Vikus. Vikus' eyes seemed to be staring straight into the blackness of Calvin's soul as the old man placed a bloodstained hand on the glass. His eyes were devoid of that kindly twinkle and it was now replaced with dark anger and rage. Calvin had to stifle a scream as Vikus pulled out a gun and aimed it right at Calvin's head. Calvin instantly groped around, looking for his gun, before realising he had left it back in the Underland.
Vikus gave him a cold, spine-chilling smile as his pale white finger tightened around the trigger.
"Sir, are you alright? Is the inmate troubling you?" a security guard asked.
Calvin quickly regained his composure to reply, "No. Not at all. I was um… I just was trying to get myself in a better position." He noticed two other prison wardens standing nearby, their hands instantly wrapped around the gun at their waist. No surprises there. Mr Carter was once a deadly assassin, and they weren't going to take any chances with him if he was threatening another person's life.
The security guard eyed Calvin suspiciously, before believing him and backing off. Calvin placed the phone back at his ear and quickly apologised, "I'm sorry about that, Mr Carter. I didn't intend for you to get into trouble."
"You saw me as someone else, didn't you?" Mr Carter asked concernedly, "I saw it in your eyes. The fear and the guilt."
"I'll explain that in a bit," Calvin replied, taking in a deep breath and soothing his frayed nerves, before continuing, "Where did I stop?"
"On Gregor not wanting to fight," Mr Carter answered.
"Oh yea," Calvin remembered now, "About that. I left him in that room and didn't bother him after that. Flavius then arrived at our gates and to cut a long story short, we began to fight. And they were winning. They were able to flood the city and take control of at least half of it. Most of us were either dead or had gathered at the foot of the palace. Yea, that was supposed to be the end of us. We were massively outnumbered and outfought, even with Ripred's planning as a general."
"So that's how large their army is," Mr Carter realised, "They even outnumbered the Regalians."
"Yea," Calvin said with a sigh, "I think that's the moment where I kinda lost all hope. I just… I just didn't see us making it through. And then it happened. I don't know what Gregor was thinking or doing in his room the whole time, but he changed his mind and did a hundred and eighty-degree turn. Just as we were about to be overrun, he comes flying out and leads a heroic charge against the foxes and Operation Claw. And before we know it, the tide of the battle has turned in our favour."
"Now I didn't see that coming," Mr Carter confessed, "To be able to bear so much guilt and yet to find the strength to confront your fears and fly into battle… now that is courage. I would never have been able to do what Gregor did. I admit I had my doubts about him, and I questioned why your father had so much belief and faith in the idea that Gregor would end up becoming Regalia's saviour. But I clearly stand corrected. My respect for Gregor has just increased tenfold."
"Yea," Calvin agreed wholeheartedly, "That was the definition of awe-inspiring. We were actually winning. We actually found the belief and the confidence to pull this whole shit in our favour. And then suddenly, a bunch of Overlanders were sent to go and free Conrad from the prison. They killed Gnasher and a couple of other gnawers before freeing him. And although i tried to stop it, I really couldn't. I needed Mareth to save me from being killed by the Overlanders. But I let Conrad escape, Mr Carter. And Conrad ended up killing Mareth. Mareth sacrificed himself to save Gregor, but it's my fault that he was even put in that position"
Mr Carter now looked truly upset and dejected. "So he's dead," Mr Carter sighed softly, "No wonder there've been nights when the cold air has haunted me and the night sky seems to have cried. Do not blame yourself Calvin. This was entirely unavoidable and nobody expected you to do anything about it."
"There's worse," Calvin told him, "I tracked down the rest of Operation Claw to the High hall, where I met Snake, the guy who killed my dad."
"Tell me you killed that son of a bitch," Mr Carter said coldly.
"I tried to," Calvin said with a downcast face, "But he survived in the end. He told me he wanted to spare me. And I had no reason not to believe him. He had so many opportunities to have me killed but he deliberately had me spared. And he told me that my father thought of the Underland as an uncivilised and barbaric place. He said that my father thought that the governmental system was appalling? Mr Carter, tell me the truth. Did he really say that?"
Mr Carter sighed and looked like he was praying for a miracle to explain this to Calvin. "It's true," he said slowly, "Your father did not think highly of the Underland initially. When he first came up he thought about whether they were worth saving. Your father is a true supporter of democracy and I think you know that he would have disapproved of Regalia's autocratic system. That being said, upon further visits he finally realised the beauty of the Underland and all its inhabitants. And for all his gripes with the lack of democracy down there, I think the most undemocratic thing to do would be to have it exterminated by Operation Claw."
"Hmm…" Calvin thought long and hard about Mr Carter's words, before saying, "So why did Snake spare me? I still can't answer that question."
"Assassins killing others may be a part of their job description, but they are also still humans," Mr Carter told Calvin, "At the end of the day, some of us still have a conscience and deep in that conscience we still have this notion that killing children is something downright unacceptable, especially vulnerable children like you. I think that this fellow that you've mentioned… What is his name again? Snake, is it? Our dear Mr Snake has clearly realised that he robbed you of your childhood by killing your father, and he doesn't intend to rob you of your life too. Deep down there is a goodness in him holding him back from killing you. And that's why you're still alive today."
When Calvin didn't react, he cleared his throat and added, "I was once an assassin myself, as you know by now. Most of us had gone through training in Tibet and Nepal under this leader of an organisation that has long since gone dark. It operates at the highest discretion and they are almost everywhere. Their goal was simple- to bring balance to the world and introduce justice. Yet here they were, training cold-blooded assassins to take the life of others! Life isn't a simple black and white zone. It has grey areas, and this leader clearly sought to use this grey area to create an army to bring balance to Mother Earth. Some of us called him the Demon, but we might as well have also called him the Angel."
"So Snake is actually a good person," Calvin said slowly, trying to comprehend what he was saying, "I don't know, Mr Carter. I don't know, especially after what happened."
"What happened?" Mr Carter asked.
"He was holding Vikus, Nerissa, Hero and Hazard hostage," Calvin replied, "And I suddenly went on this crazy killing and shooting spree and now… now Vikus is dead. I killed him, Mr Carter. I saw my bullets fly right through his body. Snake tricked me into killing the one man who still gave Regalia hope. And I let him trick me into killing Vikus. God, I don't even want to imagine what Luxa thinks of me now."
"So that's what you were scared of just now," Mr Carter realised, "You saw me as Vikus. That's why you backed away in fright. You're being haunted by your actions, just like Gregor was."
Calvin nodded miserably and said, "It's not the first time. I've always had this feeling of his ghost lingering nearby, waiting to ambush me and take revenge for what I did. And I'd gladly let him take my life, but that's not what the ghost wants. The ghost wants to torture me with the knowledge of my guilt. And it's guilt that I can't get rid of, no matter how hard I've tried. We won the battle that day, Mr Carter. But in exchange for the victory, I traded my soul in to the devil."
"That ghost does not exist," Mr Carter said firmly, "because even if Vikus was half the man I once knew him to be, he would never ever dream of haunting you. The ghosts you see are all created by you, Calvin. The only way you're going to destroy Vikus' ghost is to come to peace with it and come to peace with the mistakes you made, just like how Gregor did."
"Maybe I don't want that," Calvin said sadly, "Maybe I want it to continue haunting me to remind me that I should never pick up my guns ever again and that I should never ever take another life. I gave my guns up to the Underland's museum and I've sworn never to take someone's life ever again. And I swear that if I break that rule I don't deserve to live anymore. I'll kill myself."
"Don't take things to the extreme, Calvin," Mr Carter warned him, "Sometimes there is collateral damage. Sometimes you kill, and maybe it's worth it. Sometimes you accidentally cause someone to die, which is what happened between you and Vikus. It isn't your fault because we're all human and we all make mistakes."
"But if I tell myself I can kill," Calvin reasoned, "That'll set me down a dark path where I just won't stop killing, because that's the only solution I know. It'll make me a criminal, just like Snake. I wouldn't be any better than the top criminal on a pile of dead criminals."
"Even if we accept that," Mr Carter responded, "There's no reason to use Vikus as a reminder. There's no need to torture yourself psychologically. Other people are going to do that to you but you shouldn't weaken yourself mentally to let them get to you. You're going to face much worse. You're going to face new fears and you're going to go through much more emotional stress. But in the end, you have to pull yourself up stronger, not let yourself sink even deeper because Vikus is dragging you down."
Calvin nodded his head in understanding, before concluding, "That's my story. I left the Underland for good because that place holds nothing but… bad memories for me. Maybe I'll meet them again one day, but not in the near future. Once I came back from the Underland it's just been a complete freaking mess. I face university applications and calls for me to take up my father's company, which has apparently gone to shit in his absence. I don't know what to do next. I want to be out there fighting, but I also don't want to hurt anybody ever again. It's not in my blood to be a weak billionaire."
"Sometimes the world doesn't give you what you want," Mr Carter said with an edge of tiredness in his tone, "But that isn't important. What is important is using what you have at the moment and making the best out of it. Emotionally you may not have much, but physically you do. And that always means there is hope for you out there."
"Well, I haven't seen any sign of hope these last two years," Calvin said bitterly, "I've been so busy that I haven't made the change I've wanted to make. I just got into a fight with Mr Bennett and I've literally screamed at my parents' graves in the pouring rain. That's what happened today alone. And now that I've become just so… confused and… and lost, I drove all the way here to speak to you. I've always wanted to give you your privacy here, but I'm sorry. It's just been a living hell for me and I need to stop sliding down this shit. So here I am, asking you to help me."
"You've given me a lot to digest," Mr Carter told Calvin, "And not a lot of time to process it. What I can say is that there are ways out of this problem, but you won't like all of them. I'm sorry Calvin, but if you were looking for a quick and simple solution, I can't give you one. But give me some time to think. Come back in… let's say a week. I do know contacts who could possibly help you. It will be a difficult experience for you, but it will change you for good. And it will be a little secret between the two of us."
Calvin actually felt intrigued for the first time in a long time. "Secret?" he pressed on.
"I'm not telling you today," Mr Carter said with a knowing smile, "Give me a while to mull over this. You'll know by next week the choices I have for you."
"Well then… I guess this is it," Calvin said with a sigh, "It's been good to see you again."
"Thanks for coming down," Mr Carter said in reply, "Sometimes it gets lonely here."
"One last question," Calvin said, "Where can I find Operation Claw in the Overland?"
"You can't," Mr Carter answered grimly, "From what I know and hear, they were planning to design a military base in the Underland."
So this was it. Regalia was truly at war with Operation Claw in a battle to the death. And Calvin couldn't do anything about it.
"Bye, Mr Carter," Calvin said glumly.
Just as he was about to get up and leave, Mr Carter said the three words to him that he had been waiting to hear for a long time.
"Fly you high."
As you have probably realised, this chapter is supposed to serve as a recap for the previous story and introduce Mr Carter back into this series. He won't be playing a pivotal role, but by the end of the story you'll see how it impacts Calvin. I've dropped a huge number of teasers and hidden spoilers in this chapter, so I urge you not to think about it until the end of the story, when all will be revealed. Also, if you've been suspicious enough to catch on to some of the stuff here and come to a shock conclusion, I URGE you not to reveal anything in the reviews. PLEASE. If you think it's remotely spoilery, please don't do it. Thank you.
As usual, favourites/follows are greatly appreciated, and please continue reviewing this story!
Question: Do you want Mr Carter to become a valuable part of this story? Do you want him to showcase his skills and add to the storyline? Please let me know so I have something to consider!
