Title: Segue
Summary: Friends in need. Cordelia's presence back in Sunnydale has a drastic effect
Warnings: Minor vulgar language, character death
Spoilers: BtVS:Out of My Mind, AtS:Redefinition
Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and/or 20th Century Fox.
AN:The seeds of this story come from two comments I heard on the BtVS DVDs. The first is from Marti Noxon in her episode commentary to "What's My Line, Pt. II", during the scene where Xander and Cordelia first kiss. Speaking from her perspective of producing the fifth season, she said something along the lines of how she had always liked those two crazy kids, thought there was still something between them, and would have liked to do an episode where they meet again. I'm sure I didn't paraphrase that quite right. Oh well. The other comment is from Joss Whedon, during a third season commentary I think. He said he had promised Charisma Carpenter she could come back to Buffy if the Angel series didn't pan out. Plant those ideas in an X/C shipper and this story is what you get.
Part 3: Friends Don't Let Friends Walk Alone
Buffy twisted around sharply as a shadow jumped from the grove of eucalyptus trees on her right. Fortunately for the would-be assailant, her reflexes were in perfect order. She pulled her punch and narrowly but successfully did not knock him out with a vicious left uppercut. He also survived his own desperate reaction of unceremoniously flopping back on his butt, exhaling an "oof" for his efforts.
"Xander! Oh, my God, are you okay?" Buffy exclaimed. She looked down at him, brow creased in worry. "You know better than to sneak up like that. You could have been killed!" she admonished him.
Then she grinned in amusement before stepping forward with extended hand to help him up. "What are you doing here?"
Xander kept his hand over the heart that had just trebled in rate, in an effort to keep it from popping through his heaving ribs. He didn't see Buffy's hand at first, nor could he answer as he was still too busy gasping for air. She patiently kept her hand out while he verified his heart was returning to beat in its normal fashion. Then with a final shake of his head he took the offered help and pulled himself to his feet, springing up and bouncing on his toes to show he'd shaken it off.
Satisfied that he would live to see another moment he answered her question. "I came out to patrol with you. It's been awhile since we've been out together and I thought it might be a nice change." He absently brushed himself off while replying. "Maybe you could use the company. Or maybe just get in some practice defending the foolhardy yet, I must add, very innocent and very very handsome bystander from imminent death."
"Well, you got two out of three right" she commented.
"Really? Which one did I miss?"
"Innocent," was her deadpan answer.
Xander's face lit up. "Oh yeah? You think I'm handsome?" He smirked when she rolled her eyes and started walking. He easily fell into step with her as she circled around him to continue in the direction she'd had been heading.
She turned, looked him up and down and nodded her head. "Yeah, Xander, I do."
Xander puffed out his chest more than a little and added a jaunty little swagger to his step. "We've got handsome, can I get hot hunk o' love?" He waggled his eyebrows and gave her a teasing leer.
Buffy glanced back at his rooster strutting and the silly expressions he was making and utterly failed to stifle a laugh. "Take what you can get, Xander, and be happy with it."
He deflated only minutely before returning to his usual Xander-ness, although internally his thoughts were singing and a-zinging. Oh yeah! he thought, she thinks I'm handsome man, oh yeah!
However much his thoughts may have been zinging, he never broke from his hard-learned habits for staying alive in Sunnydale, always keeping aware of the situation around him. He did admit to himself this was much easier to accomplish when not drunk and not confronted by an ex. During their walk he continually swept his eyes from side to side, keeping a constant lookout, occasionally even turning himself fully around to peer behind, his ears listening for any unnatural sounds.
Buffy was a little more casual, relying on her "spider sense" to warn her of imminent danger, and she started doing little spin tricks with her stake, twirling it between her fingers and flipping it baton-style from hand to hand. "So Xand, it's been a week since Anya took off and I've hardly seen you. How are you dealing?"
"Six days and change, actually." He sighed. This was not on the large list of happy topics he would have preferred to chat about with her. But he knew she was asking out of true concern for his well-being and he answered without annoyance. "But I'm dealing. Work's been hectic, and Giles has got me pretty busy getting everything ready for the opening. By the time I get home I just cram some food in me, crash, and start all over the next day. There hasn't been much time to think about her. And when there is...well, I just try not to."
"No word from her?"
"Not a peep."
"Bad, huh?"
"Yeah. It's just...I don't know, Buff. I thought I was doing the relationship thing right this time, y'know? I thought I'd learned from before. I thought I..." he trailed off, leaving the thought uncompleted as he morosely shuffled along beside her.
"What?"
"Nothing. You'd think it was stupid."
"C'mon, Xander. You know I would never think that." He shot her a look, "most of the time," she amended.
"I thought maybe I sorta mighta been, y'know...in love. With her. Maybe. I dunno now." He looked at Buffy and gave her a rueful shrug. "I guess definitely not now."
Buffy returned his shrug with a sympathetic smile. "Oh, Xander. Love stinks, doesn't it?"
"Amen to that," he replied with deep felt emotion.
She took his arm in hers as they walked, the ensuing silence warm and welcoming, her presence and gentle touch providing comfort enough. The simplicity of walking with her now, arm in arm, belied the complexity and depth of his feelings for her. He'd long gotten past his crushy lustful desires and cherished her so much more as his part-time adviser, critic, confessor, and confidante, and full-time best friend. He had no desire to ruin that by imposing any silly romantic notions.
At the next intersection they turned left down a smaller gravel path, one that meandered between the close-spaced graves of the older section of the cemetery, light provided only by the waxing moon. He kicked at some small stones along the way, sending them skittering ahead and into the grass. She watched as one pebble bounced off a gravestone with a dull clink. As they passed she turned her head to read the incised words.
Baldwin Carver
1913 - 1969
Devoted Husband
Beloved
Father
A Good Friend
She slowed down as she regarded the words, the weight of her destiny unexpectedly settling down heavily.
"Hey, Xand?" she quietly asked.
Lost in his own thoughts, Xander hadn't noticed the gravestone, or even that she was looking at one. "Yeah?"
"Y'ever think about what you'd want written on your gravestone?"
"Huh?"
"What kind of words you'd like to have said about you?"
Stopping, he followed her line of sight and saw the grave she was looking at, not really any different from the hundreds of others that dotted the dim moonlit scenery.
"I know the job sucks, and you're probably a lot closer to the big sleep than I am, but why so morbid all of a sudden?"
"Just wonderin', y'know, about what I'd want people to think about me, know about me." She waved her hand at the granite speckled panorama around them to take it all in. "I mean, these stones are really the only permanent thing left for most. Family dies, paper wears out, records get lost, stuff like that. Those words," pointing at Baldwin's piece of granite, "are going to be the only thing that tells someone in the future who this person was. Your whole life summed up in ten words or less."
"Boy, you're just a barrel of slayer fun tonight, aren't you? Where's a vamp when you need one?"
She chuckled, a small unlady-like snort escaping as well. "Yeah." She turned from the stone and took up his arm again to continue their patrol. Xander made sure not to kick any more pebbles.
It didn't matter.
"But, really Xander, what would I have on my gravestone? 'Quipped well, Dusted lots of vampires'? Just seems...wrong. I'm more than that. I hope."
"You are, Buffy! You're a lot more than just a slayer." She raised her eyebrow expectantly, prompting him to continue. "You're one bodacious hottie, a--" cutting himself off when he saw her expression change to a scowl. "Okay, you're not a hott--ow!" he exclaimed while he rubbed his shoulder where she had playfully slapped him. He tried out his best hurt puppy-dog look, which garnered another laugh from her. "You're definitely contrary! And still the best friend anyone could have."
"Okay, How about this..." pursing his lips in thought for a few seconds, taking her more seriously. He threw his hands up to indicate a great big marquee gravestone in the sky.
"Loved, and was loved."
She nodded her head and smiled her appreciation. "Good. Mushy. But pretty good."
"Yeah, okay. Hmmm, then how about this..."
"Beloved daughter and sister. She saved the world!"
He paused a beat, then added,
"A Lot"
his open hand punching out each word.
"Xander! That's so crass!"
"I am but a mass of crass, my sassy lass."
Her rolling laughter warmed his heart to no end.
It always amazed her how Xander could so easily lighten her mood, effortlessly lifting some of the burden of her destiny from her shoulders. The world should be filled with Xander's, she thought. It would be a much happier, albeit much sillier, place; a trade-off she would make in a heartbeat. She stepped up to her best male friend and gave him a warm and gentle hug, careful not to squeeze too tight.
A little surprised by her reaction but never one to refuse a hug from a dear friend, Xander wrapped his arms around her as well.
"Xand?" she spoke softly into the material of his jacket.
"Hmmm?" he murmured, still reveling in her embrace.
"I'm glad you came out tonight. Thank you."
He tried to think of some clever, witty, Xander-thing to say, something to ease and soften the intensity of this moment they were having, but found there was nothing to say. Nothing but to answer her with a simple, honest and heartfelt, "You're welcome, Buffy."
Each sighing contently, they let go of the hug, stepped back, and exchanged slightly embarrassed smiles.
Suddenly remembering his construction job demanded insanely early starts she glanced down at her watch. She thought to herself she'd rather tackle most any kind of demon before waking up as early as he had to. "It's getting late, shouldn't you be heading home?"
He laughed wryly. "You're forgetting who my roommate is. Home isn't quite the warm and inviting place it used to be." He laughed again, "I think I have you to thank for that."
She returned a sympathetic smile. "Good point." However she couldn't keep her smile from turning slightly wicked, not unwilling to tease him at least a little bit. "How is that working with you and her? Had your first knock-down, drag-out yet? No punching below the belt, right?"
Laughing, excepting her tease with good grace, he responded, "Well, nothing Vince McMahon worthy. Not yet, anyway." He paused then continued more thoughtfully. "Actually, it's okay so far, as far as that goes," he admitted. "It helps we're hardly around each other, with me leaving early for work and all. Mostly I just see her when I'm at the Magic Box in the evenings. But she's usually doing inventory or helping Giles out with something, and I'm busy with the display cases. It's going okay, as well as can be expected..." He shrugged.
"But? I can hear it in your voice."
"But..." He turned and started to slowly walking again, Buffy stepping up to keep pace. "I mean, we were on okay terms after graduation, right?" She nodded her head in agreement. "At least we weren't going at it tooth and nail anymore, but we weren't really all that friendly either." He lapsed into silence as they continued to stroll.
Buffy waited for him to continue, knowing that sometimes waiting out his silences were often the best way to get him to go on. She guessed right.
"That first night, after we'd all met at the Magic Box, after we went shopping for food and supplies and stuff, we came back and we're fighting. I don't even remember why, just the usual, probably. And I kind of just spaced for a bit. The next thing I know she's in my face, giving me a look that could kill Superman from a thousand yards."
"Ah yes, the Cordelia Thousand Yard Glare. I know it too well."
"You and me both."
"But like you said, just business as usual for you two," Buffy commented, not sure where he was going with his narrative.
"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose. The usual usual. Just..."
"Yes?"
Xander stopped abruptly, hands shoved deep into his pockets, eyes no longer scanning for danger but instead intently studying the ground in front of his feet. Buffy took a couple of more steps before she felt the lack of Xander's presence by her side. She turned around and came back to him, noticing the almost guilty apologetic expression on his face as he looked up at her approach, like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar,
"I almost..." he started, then winced with the admission, "kissed her."
"You what!" Buffy loudly gasped, not sure she heard right, causing him to cringe.
"Kissed her," he sheepishly admitted again.
"Really? Wow! I mean that's just so--" she then just laughed.
His voice rose and became excited and animated as he explained. "I mean, she was this close," putting his hands up, palms almost together, showing just how close they had been. "And she smelled so-o-o nice! And, and..." he trailed off, eyes losing focus, losing himself in the memory. He recalled how her eyes had been flashing with anger. She in fact had been so close he could feel the breath, whistling through her nose, caressing across his lips. He could literally sense the heat radiating from her. He could count every perfect lash on her eyes. And instead of being angry right back--
He abruptly shook himself to break free of the vision, looking back down at Buffy. "I just wanted to kiss her," he concluded lamely.
"But you didn't, right? Or did you?" asked Buffy, still shaking with amusement.
"Oh no! No, no, no! Caught myself just in time. She'd have killed me, and I mean that in the sense of literal. I'm last year's trash as far as she's concerned," forgetting she had admitted he was a decent guy earlier that same day.
Buffy once again took his arm and they resumed their walk toward the newer mausoleum section of the cemetery. She looked up and saw the confusion twisting across Xander's face and felt the need to dole out a piece of her wisdom, as any good friend would.
"You know something, Xander? I still don't know what it was between you two. I'll probably never really understand it." She shook her head once, sharply, to cut off his protest, "But there was definitely a something. A good, special kind of something, not just hormones or lust. For the both of you, " putting more than slight emphasis on the 'both'. "And that kind of thing doesn't just disappear, even after what you did with Willow. It's obvious you're still carrying a torch for her, right?" She looked up at him quizzically.
He ducked his head in reluctant admission, "Yeah, I guess."
"So don't be so certain how she feels about you." she sternly admonished him. "I'm just sayin'."
"Maybe," he replied, sounding very unconvinced. He had deserved Cordelia's wrath and contempt and most definitely not her or her forgiveness. "But I torpedoed that ship well and good. Blowed it all to hell."
Ha! he thought, there's the understatement of the century. More like he nuked it to ash and scattered it to the four corners of the earth. As much as he once used to fantasize about how he and Cordy could somehow be together again, how some way he could get her to forgive him and take him back, he knew it could never be more than just that: a fantasy.
One he'd had to bury and let go of. While he fully understood the necessity, he was still learning to live with it. It had gotten easier with the passing months, especially having had Anya around. But apparently not as much as he had believed. Seeing Cordelia again brought the raging guilt and pain and--he admitted to himself in a bout of honesty--desire, right back to the surface.
He exhaled deeply. He could accept that he had a lot of personal life lessons to learn, and that they would often be painful, but why did they have to hurt someone else as well?
"Yeah, you did. And you're probably right. But, well, you just never know with us women." She paused and looked at him meaningfully to see he got the message. "So now what?"
"I'll make it through. Keep a different schedule. Try not to antagonize her too much--" catching the Buffy's look he hastily corrected himself with a smile, "--or at least less than I usually do."
He paused, again looking around for signs of vampire activity, before asking his next question. "Since we're on the subject of Cordy anyway, what did she tell you that got you all upset last weekend?"
"She had a personal message for me."
Buffy's expression had instantly clouded and he recognized some of her defensive signs. He was used to the mercurial nature conversations with her could ofttimes be and was not dissuaded by her sudden coolness. He would tread lightly, but tread forth he would.
"What was it about? If you're willing to tell." Buffy shrugged and wouldn't look his way. She hadn't expected the conversation to turn this way. Even though she knew she would have to eventually share this with Xander and everyone else, it was too close to home right now. She still needed more time to think about it before she went all Oprah-y. "Family matters. I'd really rather not talk about it yet."
He replied with a simple "Okay," and immediately dropped that line of conversation. Rolling his shoulders, Xander asked, "And now segueing to another significant other, where's Riley tonight? I'm really glad we had this time together, you and me, but don't you guys usually patrol together?"
"I gave him the night off. It's been a slow week and well...it's been...umm, slow." Again Buffy shrugged.
It seemed to him this must be her night for dispassionately keeping things to herself. However this time it involved two people he cared about and not one, and also a developing situation he'd been observing for a couple of weeks now. He decided to take a solid--but subtle!--shot at knocking down this particular emotional wall.
"He's a big boy, Buff. He can take care of himself as well as the next guy. Better, in fact, than anyone. Except you of course."
"Even still. I'm beginning to worry when he's out here. It's my job, not his. He's beginning to take more risks. He could get hurt."
Fuck subtle, he decided. "Are things alright between you?"
"Sure. Why would you ask?" she replied, looking straight ahead, face stony.
"Just want to make sure my favorite tag-team is still a happy tag-team."
"Still happy, Xander."
As they walked on, Xander was very aware of many things unsaid, but one look at her told him this wasn't the time or place to push too hard. He decided to bail out after all. He could bide his time, keep an eye on things until he got full disclosure and could finally do something for his friends.
"Well," he said, taking one more sweeping look-see, "it is pretty dull around here, and Cordy's probably safely asleep by now. Guess I'll head on back after all. Coming with?"
She looked around as well, thought about going back to the essay that was due next week, on the relevance of pop-culture references in modern literature, which needed a ton more work, and choose the lessor of two evils. "I want to do one more sweep. Try out a few tricks I thought of."
"Alright. See you tomorrow, Buff." Xander waved and headed off.
---
The sawdust made a light brown cascading waterfall effect as the red oak flecks whipped out of the blade housing and floated gracefully to the floor. Xander eased the circular saw completely through the board with a satisfied grunt before letting the shrieking saw wind down. He took the board over to the bookcase's carcass and checked it's fit. Humming to himself he returned to resume the work of marking and cutting the rest of the shelves.
In the back corner by a display case Xander had finished days before, Tara and Cordelia were stocking the latest shipment of herbs, roots, mosses and other organic whatnot used in many of the simpler novice spells. Tara chatted on about the kinds of spells and enchantments each of the items were good for, Cordelia dutifully paying attention. Cordelia had developed a real fondness for the shy girl and her odd humor, and quickly discovered that once over her initial reticence the witch could not be shut up.
Cordelia gently broke off Tara's exposition on the uses of sage, thyme and other Simon & Garfunkely substances, and casually strolled over to inspect the shelves Xander was working on, ready to call him on any imperfections. They had an upcoming grand opening to prepare for and she knew better than anyone how important image and first impressions could be. It simply would not do to have low-quality workmanship exposed for a customer to see.
"Wow! As hard as it is for me to admit," she said, running her hand over the work in progress and looking around at the other cases Xander had already finished, "I have to say I'm impressed. You're actually good at something besides extreme lameness."
Xander glanced up at her and smiled disarmingly, gracefully accepting her sixty-five percent complement. He was in too good a mental place now to let the other thirty-five get to him. "It took awhile, but once I figured out you're supposed to measure before you cut, things have gone so much smoother." He brushed off the shelf and set it next to the other pieces waiting for final trim, fit and finish.
Xander set up the next board to be cut, running his hands lovingly over the beautifully figured oak, feeling the texture of the grain, inhaling the earthy fragrance of the wood.
He knew his friends believed he had just fallen into carpentry by accident and happenstance, continuing merely because it paid reasonably well and he had nothing else to do. But in fact he enjoyed it immensely, deriving great pleasure and satisfaction from the work.
Of course the world save-age part of his life was far more important in the grand scheme of things. But when he thought about it in a certain way, he understood it was no more than a war writ weird and, necessary and even sometimes noble goals not withstanding, war is destruction. Dust a vamp here, slaughter a demon there, smash an evil icon, or some such thing.
However in his day job he was creating, building for the future, with his own hands forming something new and tangible and useful, occasionally even beautiful. He was making houses that families could grow up in and call home, constructing buildings wherein people could earn their livelihood. He was crafting furniture that with proper care would last for many decades. He treasured feeling that quiet sense of satisfaction when a job was well done. He could look back at whatever he and his crew had finished and say: "I helped create that!" It was his own deep and special secret that he kept close to his chest.
It was during these musings that his two best friends burst into the shop. Buffy was mid-rant while Willow, eyes glazed, nodded her head at the appropriate moments.
"--ust as I'm about to stake the first vamp, Riley comes flying in and starts tossing him all over the place like he was a handball. And then get this. Another vamp comes from behind the crypt and gets the drop on me. So I'm regrouping and--you'll just die when you hear this!--Spike jumps in and starts going toe to toe. With the other vamp. I mean, why do I even need to show up anymore?" she huffed finally.
She calmed down as she and Willow proceeded further into the shop and took a stool in front of the main sales counter, dropping their laden backpacks on top. "I told Spike he'd better not interfere anymore or he was going to become daisy food."
Looking over at the pair, Xander asked, "When was this?" He had been with Buffy last night and certainly didn't recall any action.
Buffy looked over her shoulder to answer, "Oh, it happened after you left, Xand. I guess you were just too intimidating and scared off all the vamps until you left."
"Yeah, that's me, Intimidating Guy!" Xander chortling, returning his attention to the measuring.
While Cordelia had been listening to the others blithely talk about Spike's presence, her expression changed from bored to surprised to upset, and she impatiently waved for them to stop the banter. "Spike?" she exclaimed, "You said Spike! Spike was there? What's Spike doing around here?"
"Mostly being very annoying," answered Xander offhandedly, throwing the comment over his shoulder as he marked the wood.
"Why isn't he being very dusted?" she asked Buffy point blank.
Xander straightened up and looked at Buffy, Buffy looked at Willow, who just looked at Tara, who in turn stared at Giles.
Shrugging, Giles took it upon himself to answer, "Well, he-he's been, err...chipped. By Riley's former organization. He can't bite or even hit a human anymore," he finished with a half-guilty sigh, taking his glasses off to wipe away some errant sawdust.
"Chipped?" Cordelia didn't understand.
"Yeah," said Xander, turning toward her to explain, "It's sort of like an electric fence for vampires. Gives him a whopping brain freeze anytime he tries to hurt someone. It's actually pretty funny when it happens, the way his face gets all squoshed up." Xander twisted his features into the best imitation of Spike's rictus he could manage, to show how it looked. "And he starts making this whimpering noise, and--" He stopped his babbling when he noticed Cordelia's glare. "Oh, so long story short, he's given up on that. He can only hurt other demons."
"He's even--", began Willow, who stuttered out the rest of her reply when Cordelia redirected her glare, "he's helped us out. A couple of times."
More than a little confused, Cordelia asked, "He's good now? Like Angel?"
"Well, no-o-o-o, not exactly. He's still evil. Technically. I guess?" answered Buffy, looking at Giles for reassurance, who did so with a quick nod of his head.
Cordelia was very skeptical. "Uh huh. And if this chip," she continued, making sarcastic air-quotes with her fingers, "ever stops working, or the battery runs out, then what? He'll still play nice with the people?"
"Err, no, probably not." Giles reluctantly admitted, and mentally kicked himself for not getting more details about how the chip worked and how long it would last.
Cordelia turned again to Buffy. "So why not stake him? You slayer, he vampire. It's in the instruction manual, right?"
"It's a little more complicated than that, Cordelia," this time Willow answering.
"Complicated!" she exploded. "What's complicated!"
"It just is. Trust me."
Cordelia rounded back on Buffy. "It's not you I need to trust. It's him! And--duh!--I don't. What's wrong with you morons?" she demanded angrily, addressing the entire gang present. "I thought you were evil-fighters. What? Now it's only if the big bad has a fair chance to fight back? This isn't a game! There's no virtue in good-sportsmanship for this fight!"
"But he can't hurt anybody! Not anymore," protested Willow.
"But he will someday, right?" she demanded.
"Well..." Willow wavered.
Cordelia raised her eyebrow, waiting for Willow to finish her answer. When she didn't she asked again, "How long can he live, huh?"
Giles provided the answer everyone already knew, "Err, ah, indefinitely."
"Yeah," she nodded her head, pointing at Giles, "And how long is that chip going to keep on working?"
Everyone either stared at each other with more stupid sheepish expressions or just stared at the ground. Giles reluctantly answered that as well, "Riley could probably answer better than I, but I would suspect...um, not indefinitely."
"Well?" prompted Cordelia, looking around at all of them expectantly, very much like a teacher addressing a particularly obtuse group of students. She looked around at each of them again, none of them meeting her eyes. Exasperated, she threw up her hands in disgust. "He gets anywhere near me and I'll stake him myself!" She stalked off, heels clicking sharply, to resume her inventorying.
The rest of the gang looked down at their feet, or around the shop, no-one saying anything. Finally Xander spoke up, "She's, ah, y'know, she's got a point."
"We're so not going there!" ground out Buffy, who then stormed off in the opposite direction as Cordelia, and out the door.
Xander shrugged at the rest of the gang before resuming his work. He was definitely not looking forward to facing the wrath of Cordy that night, nosiree, and desperately thought of some new plan for the evening. Perhaps go play darts at the Bronze or shoot hoops with Riley at the gym if Riley would spot him 10 points.
---
The next evening should have have found Giles in a generally upbeat mood. His meeting earlier that day with the bank's loan officer had gone very well indeed, and it surprised him how excited he was about the store's opening. It was hardly becoming of someone of his scholarly nature.
But his mood was tempered by several issues. The first was the unpleasantness of the previous day's quarrel. He tried to put it to the back of his mind, but the accusing looks Cordelia directed at him still irked. Mostly because he knew she was right and he should have done something more proactive concerning Spike.
The other more important issue was the news that Joyce had had to be taken to the hospital that morning after collapsing at home.
Seeing Buffy burst through the door he called out. "Hello, Buffy! What's the news on your mother. How is she? What did the doctor have to say?"
"She's fine. The doctor said she'll be okay, just to get some rest. And he prescribed some medication," she quickly answered his questions. "It's Riley I'm worried about!"
"Riley? Whatever for?" Giles asked, taken aback at the unexpected turn.
"He's got tach-tach-, um, something like, tacky cards? Something sticky sounding. It's his heart, Giles! There's something wrong with his heart! He's got a sticky heart! He disappeared after I took my mom home. I haven't seen him since." She looked around at the other Scoobies. "Has anybody seen him since this morning?"
Xander was the first to answer. "Last I saw was this afternoon. He was playing hoops in the park across from the site. What's going on, Buff?"
Buffy wheeled on him, hair flying. "How did he seem?" she anxiously demanded.
Xander was perturbed by her obvious nervousness and anxiety. He had rarely seen Buffy this upset and off balance. He was therefore careful with his answer. "Okay, I guess. I only caught a few glimpses during my break. It looked like he was playing a pretty intense game, though. They were still playing when I had to get back to work."
Nodding her head impatiently, Buffy forced herself to settle down, taking a seat by the counter. "I ran into Graham just a little while ago. He told me there could be a problem. That he's still messed up from all those drugs the Initiative gave him. He said Riley slugged him after the game. I looked for him all over. He's not at his apartment, he's not at the gym, he's not at the library." Her self-control slipped another notch, wringing her hands together. "He's gone somewhere where he doesn't wanna be found," she said despairingly.
Cordelia, still annoyed by the lack of response to her concerns over Spike, and even though she didn't harbor any actual ill will toward Riley, snipped, "So Mr. Potato-head has just gone to ground?"
"Cordelia!" exclaimed Giles. He could often appreciate the forthright honesty that went hand in hand with her lack of tact, but sometimes she could be just plain tactless.
Buffy was too worried to do more than shoot her an annoyed look before falling back and admitting her concern, "Basically."
"Poor Buffy," sympathized Willow, moving over to her friend to give her a hug.
"Maybe he just needs some time alone. Deal with it on his own." speculated Xander.
Cordelia snorted, "Right, your typical John Wayne 'I'm so tough I can handle anything by myself, pilgrim' macho bullshit."
"You guys, enough!" cried Buffy. "Riley is in real danger here. We've got to find him!" She jumped up and began pacing back and forth, ordering her thoughts, resolved to figure out a plan. Okay, nothing happened until they found him, so that had to be step one, she figured. "Cordy, Xander, why don't you guys check the docks."
"Uh, cause it's smelly and dangerous down there? And Giles, don't you need me here for anything?"
Giles looked innocently about. "No no, we're done for the day."
Xander shrugged his shoulders at Buffy, as if to make amends for Cordelia's seeming lack of concern, and got up. "Come on, sweetheart, we'll stop by the Army surplus store and buy you a gas mask. I hear camo-pink is in this year." He turned to Buffy and snapped off a lazy salute. "We'll call you if we find anything," he said reassuringly.
Cordelia, reluctance showing in every step, followed Xander out the door.
With one assignment taken care of, Buffy turned to the witches. "Willow, Tara, can you guys check out the high-school? He hid out there once before, and maybe he'll do it again. Giles, you look around the center of town, but stay near the shop in case he comes here. I've got one more lead to check on, and then I'm going to look in the caves."
Giles nodded.
"Well?" Buffy snapped, clapping her hands. "Let's get a move on!" Everybody jumped to get their jackets or sweaters and hurried out the door.
---
She had enjoyed slapping Spike around, playing on his greed to get him to help out, and also finding an outlet for some of her frustration. But now Cordelia's comments regarding Spike's inherent nature were beginning to nag at her. Maybe she should stop relying so often on Spike, she thought. She promised herself that, although still very reluctant to dust him, she would no longer include him in anymore Scooby plans. Just as soon as they got past this current crisis.
Shaking off her worries, Buffy flicked on the flashlight and entered the caves. "Riley!" she began calling out. Not hearing a reply she crept further in and repeated her call, the echos bouncing from the damp walls almost deafening. She paused for a moment to listen to their fading answer while directing the beam of light into the far corners of the cave. After the sound died away she heard nothing more but the faint plop, plop of water dripping into shallow pools.
Buffy continued her search deeper into the caves, hoping that maybe Xander or Willow had found him. "Riley!" she yelled again. "Answer me! Please." A thousand empty echos mocked her desperation.
--
The sailors, longshoremen and other roughnecks leaving and entering "Tommy's" could hear the bickering couple from over a block away. Cordelia primly stayed well away from the piles of refuse and garbage as she peered into the alleys with Xander. She kept up a running monologue of bitter complaints about the smell, the effects the cool salty air was having on her hair and complexion, and the perils of volunteering too quickly for thankless unpleasant tasks.
Xander tuned her out as they prowled in and out of the alleys of the warehouse district on their way closer to the docks, calling out Riley's name.
"Why did I agree to do this?" she demanded as they emerged from the last alley. Xander answered without turning his head toward her. "Because of your good and generous nature."
"Next time try and say that without the irony."
"Next time try and be good and generous."
Just up ahead, Tommy's was the next place to check. As they approached the seedy-looking bar they eyed it dubiously, Cordelia more so than Xander.
"Alright, let's check it out," Xander said with a resigned shrug and not a little trepidation. Paradoxically, he knew Willy's was probably safer than this place, for here the reputation of the slayer did not precede them. Someone here might not have any hesitation getting rough with a newcomer.
Cordelia, extremely unhappy with the idea of going inside, held back. "I don't think it's a good idea. It looks dirtier in there than it does out here." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
Xander, tense, snapped at her. "Then wait. Go lean against that lamppost and file your nails or something. Say hi to the cars passing by."
"I should file your head in the circular file!"
After looking around nervously, he turned to face her directly. "Look, we go in, check real quick, and we're gone. Two minutes, tops."
She stared at him with angry eyes, bit back a retort, grabbed his arm and pulled him through.
The smell of sweat, stale beer, cigarette smoke, all mixed with the patina of vomit, assaulted them as they stepped through. The odor was overpowering in its intensity, a nearly impenetrable physical barrier that caused them to halt in their tracks. The noise level died abruptly as every head swiveled toward them and Cordelia heard Xander gulp audibly.
Xander, still in his work clothes, a rough cotton shirt, dirty and faded jeans, and work boots, didn't look terribly out of place. But Cordelia, wearing an almost designer dress, was like a rose in a pig sty. Realizing that virtually all the ogling leers, even from some of the women, were directed at her she unconsciously moved closer to Xander, clinging tightly to his arm.
"Just stay close, act like a hooker--not too tough for you, right?--and I'm your trick, and they'll probably leave you alone. Maybe."
Scanning the room from near the entrance they did not see Riley anywhere.
"You are going to die for this, Alexander LaVelle Harris! I swear!" she growled through clenched teeth.
You can do this, Cordy, she thought. You wanted to be a goddamn actress, now's the time to act!
Forcefully tamping down her fear, Cordelia drew herself to her full height and arrogant posture, unveiling her most haughty and derisive expression. The denizens of Tommy's witnessed first-hand the Queen C at the top of her form, as she mete out contemptuous disdain on the rabble. Eyes suddenly turned away wherever she directed her intense piercing glare.
Xander donned his best tough-guy mask, hunkered down, and moved forward to the bar, praying Cordelia would have the sense to stay with him.
Arriving at the rail, he slapped his hand down hard to get the bartender's attention. "You see a guy in here today, tall like a basketball player, probably alone, maybe acting a little crazy?"
The beefy, ham-fisted bartender gave Xander a flicker of a once-over and was about to ignore him as not worth the effort of even a dismissive grunt. Xander leaned over and tugged on his sleeve, quickly letting go when the bartender's eyes slitted dangerously.
"Work with me, pal. I need to impress the lady!" Xander whispered desperately.
The bartender leaned sideways to get a better look at Cordelia. Leaning back he gave his professional assessment. "Nice piece ya' got there. She go a coupla' C's an hour? More?"
Two tramp freighters were in that day, the place was packed and jumping, the booze flowing, and they'd had some raucous good fun earlier. And, since he was feeling so charitable and willing to do his good deed for the year, he decided to play along with the kid and see what he had. "Okay kid. For the lady..." he whispered.
He stood straight and spoke more loudly, loud enough Cordelia could hear the cheesy film-noirish answer.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
Xander, instantly familiar with this game from too many hours watching bad pot-boiler detective movies, produced two Jacksons and slapped them on the sticky bar.
The bartender sniffed disdainfully but took the money just the same. "Yeah, Some kinda soldier-boy, real tall, got into a fight about half an hour ago. Broke some noses--damn strong. Took four of us to stomp him down and kick his ass out."
"Which way did he go?"
The bartender elaborately furrowed his brow and ran a massive hairy paw along his chin, slowly and theatrically, pondering the simple question. "Wa'll lessee," he drawled, "I don't think I rightly remem--"
Xander grimaced and slapped another twenty on the bar. "You've been watchin' too many movies, mister," he grumbled under his breath, thinking they probably were the same ones he watched.
The bartender smirked and greedily pocketed Xander's money. "That way," pointing in the direction down toward the south end of the docks.
As soon as they exited Tommy's, Cordelia broke apart from Xander and punched him. "What the hell was that all about! I still got pinched like a zillion times," she complained, rubbing her rear to soften the bruises she would be getting.
"The sacrifices we make for the cause. Your precious ass will recover, my wallet won't. I'm out sixty bucks!" Though all in all he was actually pleased. They'd emerged without any real trouble and they'd gotten two useful bits of information. Both that Riley had been in the area and that he was probably not far.
They headed in the direction indicated by the bartender, past the last rusty warehouse adjacent to the water. Skirting one of the mobile cranes at the edge of the wharf they heard a rhythmic thumping noise. Xander held Cordelia behind him as he continued forward around the base of the massive machine.
He spotted Riley punching the solid steel of the crane over and over again. Riley didn't even look up or acknowledge their presence as they hurried over.
"This doesn't even hurt," Riley listlessly commented in between punches, the steel making a dull ringing sound with each hit. Xander winced when he noticed a wet, red smear on the metal.
"You're bleeding, Riley."
"Don't feel a goddamn thing."
Xander stepped in front of him and deflected his arm before the fist decorated the uncaring steel with even more blood.
"Riley, we need to get you to the doctor. Now."
Riley looked up at Xander suspiciously. "The one from the government you mean? Like the ones who did this to me in the first place?" He waved his bloody hand to indicate he wanted no part of that idea, and began to back up.
Xander started to follow, but carefully so that he didn't spook Riley into running. "He's the only one that can help." Riley began to turn away, causing Xander to call out desperately, "Riley! Look, this is going to get worse if you don't come."
Riley stopped and whipped back around to face Xander and Cordelia, practically snarling, the first sign of real emotion from him. "There's nothing getting worse! It's only getting better. Don't you get that? I'm more powerful than I've ever been! Most people would kill to feel this way."
Cordelia, not really knowing Riley at all, let Xander handle the argument and silently watched the exchange between the two males, ready to step in with the vexing voice of honesty whenever necessary. She was mildly amused and even slightly impressed that Xander was willing to play that card himself.
"That feeling is going to kill you. You're not a slayer."
Testy, Riley replied, "Right, I'm just some ordinary schmuck."
Xander's face twisted briefly, mindful of the epithet Cordelia had once bestowed upon him. Despite recent new-found confidence, and that he was usually able to accept his ordinariness with a certain quiet aplomb, the reminder still rankled.
"Would you rather be dead?" Xander rejoined, successfully keeping an edge out of his voice.
"I can handle it. This is my deal, just...back off." This time Riley tried to walk past Xander, who reached out and hooked his arm, spinning the taller man about and ducking the expected right hook.
"What the hell is going on with you?" Xander demanded, more gently than the situation probably deserved.
Perhaps the note of concern in Xander's voice or the look of sincere worry finally reached something inside him. Riley stopped to explain. "I go back. Let them mess with me again. Best case? They turn me into Joe Normal. Just another guy."
"There's nothing wrong with that. We're all ordinary Joes here." The tall man's eyes flicked significantly to Cordelia and back, a motion not unnoticed by Xander. Xander rolled his eyes and appended the qualifier, "Okay, and Josephina's, too." He gave Cordelia a look and shook his head slightly to tell her to remain quiet. "But we still do our part. You don't need to be some kind of over-juiced super-hero to help out."
In a quick aside to Cordelia he handed over his cell phone and keys and quietly asked her to call Buffy and get the car. In the meanwhile he would continue to deal with Riley, to try and keep him from running, to hopefully convince him to come along.
Riley's emotions were anything but stable. One moment he was super confident, the next he was in the throes of despair. "It's not enough," he pleaded, "It's not enough for Buffy."
"Why would you say that?"
Riley looked up straight at Xander. "Come on. Her last boyfriend wasn't exactly a civilian."
"Right. Listen pal, Lord of the Brood caused nothing but pain for her. And the rest of us I might add. Not someone you want to be emulating. She needs normal, Riley."
"It's not good enough!"
"So you're going to let yourself die all over some pissing contest with Angel? Look Riley, she doesn't compare you to Angel so don't you."
Riley shook his head, still doubting, still not believing Xander's words no matter how much he wanted to. "It's not about him. It's about us. Buffy and me. She's getting stronger every day. More powerful. I can't touch her, Xander. Every day she's, she's...a little further out of reach."
"No, Riley, she's not getting further away. She's right there where you can get to her."
"For now, maybe. Tomorrow..."
"What? You figure she's gonna bail on you because you're not in the super club? You need to listen to me, Riley. She needs you. She cares about you. And you were wrong before. I think she does love you. Do you think she spent the last year with you because you had super powers?""
"It's just human nat--"
"Fuck the pop-psych!" Xander angrily cut him off. "I don't care what your fancy books and your fancy theories tell you. I know Buffy. Yeah, sure, she can shut down. She can be cold and distant. She can even try to push away the people that care the most. And that's when you need to be there! Be ready when the crash happens. 'Cause as strong as she is, as strong as she thinks she is, she can't go it alone. It will happen. And she's going to need you, and deep down she knows it."
Riley stood silently, swaying slightly.
"She needs you," Xander repeated softly, "alive and healthy."
The surge of illusory power that had been flowing through Riley only scant moments before, keeping him hyped on false energy, suddenly vanished, leaving him chilled, empty and breathless. He began desperately heaving in huge gulps of air as sharp agony radiated from his chest. He stumbled forward. Xander caught his friend easily, holding him up.
"Besides," Xander said gently, "who else is gonna let me win at Horse."
Riley couldn't help but chuckle despite the pain. Between wheezes Riley finally agreed, "Okay, I'll-I'll go."
They looked up at the glare of oncoming headlights, seeing that Cordelia had brought the car. She got out and helped Xander bring Riley back to the car, Xander giving her an open and sincere smile of gratitude.
---
Buffy nervously paced the sidewalk in front of Sunnydale General Hospital. She stopped when she heard, then saw, Xander's car, driven rather recklessly by Cordelia, squeal around the corner. It screeched to a halt amid a cloud of burnt rubber before the emergency room entrance. She peered into the car but could not see her boyfriend. When Xander and Cordelia jumped out she yelled at them, "Where is he?"
"In back," replied Xander as he hastily opened the back door and lifted up Riley, who had been lying on the seat cushion. Buffy rushed over to his other side, draping his arm over her shoulders. Together Xander and Buffy walked Riley into the hospital and toward the bank of elevators, closely followed by Cordelia.
They rode to the fourth floor and half dragged-half carried Riley toward the room where Graham had told her to bring Riley. Approaching the doors, Buffy looked wildly around for Graham but didn't see him. They burst through to find a room strewn with wreckage and an unconscious Graham lying on the floor.
Riley, recovered somewhat from the last bout of searing pain, pushed Buffy over to Graham.
She slapped Graham on the face none too gently. Groaning, his eyelids fluttered open and he peered about, unable to focus. "Graham! Graham!" Buffy shook him. Groaning softly he looked vaguely in the direction of her voice, eyes still glazed. "What happened, Graham? Tell me! What happened!"
"Seven-" he uttered before choking up on some phlegm. His eyes started to slide close again.
"Seven? Seven what? The seven dwarfs attacked?" yelled Buffy, her voice raising to a screech. "You want Seven-Up? You're in love with Seven-of-Nine? What! What!" Buffy started shaking him more strongly.
Xander slid out from under Riley's arm, motioning Cordelia to take his place. "Hey Buff!" He rushed forward to push Buffy away. "Stop it! Take it easy!" When he was sure Buffy would stay back, he returned his attention to Graham. He gripped the man's shoulder and squeezed gently, "Graham, what's up, man. You got to pull it together, soldier. What happened here?"
Graham opened his eyes again, bleary.
"Seventeen" he gasped out, specks of spittle flying, "Hos-hostile...seventeen."
Xander looked back at Buffy in confusion, but Riley had heard him and answered their question. "He means Spike. Spike did this!"
"Damn!" exclaimed Buffy, standing up. She cast a quick glance at Cordelia. "Don't you dare say it!" Whipping her head about, she ranted, "His number is up! For real this time." She stalked off. The others could hear her muttering, "When I get my hands on Spike, I'm gonna rip his head off, I'm gonna..."
Cordelia, under her breath, snarked, "It's about time." But not quiet enough that Xander didn't hear her.
"Save the I-told-you-so's for later, Cordy. Let's find the doctor first." Helping Riley along, they followed after Buffy.
---
"Y'know doc, I am a bit peckish after all," Spike cheerfully informed Dr. Overheiser. "Could do with a bit of a snack before supper."
Overheiser's eyes bugged out and he backed away from the advancing vampire. He bumped into a table and was unable to retreat any further. The fear welled up in him as his knees sagged and his bowels threatened to loosen. Even knowing he'd put one over on Spike and his companion, the blond vampire was still a menacing, frightening presence. He didn't know the possible side effects of digging through the vamp's brain and it might be capable of hurting someone after all.
Spike chuckled to himself as he leaned in to bite the doctor's neck. He was going to have some fun tonight, chowing down on Sunnydale's population! Starting with the gaggle of slayer groupies he had endured for nearly a year now. Oh it would be such fun! To drain each and every one of those insipid bags of blood. He couldn't wait to get a taste of the redhead, her skin so pale and creamy, the hot blood pulsing beneath the surface of her beautiful neck. He predicted she would make a sweet mewling sound as the life drained from her.
Spike's head whipped around when the doors crashed open behind him. "Well, speak of the devil!"
Xander and Cordelia immediately spread out to either side of Buffy to make sure there was no way out for Spike and Harmony, and also to cover each other when the arrows started flying. Riley held back behind Buffy, curled around himself, using the wall to help keep standing.
"Spike!"
"Slayer!" He looked around at the people clustered behind Buffy. "And her little dog, too. And look, it's Major Moron. You really should make sure he's eating his Wheaties, Buffy, he looks a mite peaked from his calisthenics." He glanced to the other side of Buffy. "Why, if it ain't the Barbie Doll and her big pom poms. Come to rah rah as I kill the slayer? By the way, how's that Nancy-boy boss of yours?"
"Last I heard, he was making an unleaded flambe of Dear Ole Dru," Cordelia replied easily.
Spike's arrogant demeanor faltered for a moment but he soon recovered. "Well, I mustn't tarry, I'll deal with you right after my appointment with the good doctor here."
Cordelia noticed Harmony standing over to one side holding a small crossbow. "Harmony," she sneered, "Doing the European trip on two cents a day, I see. I'd heard you'd been turned, but even as a vampire I never thought you'd step as low as this Euro-trash."
"You'd know all about stepping down, wouldn't you, dearie?" retorted Harmony, looking at Xander the whole time.
"Hey!" yipped Xander.
Buffy jumped in to the verbal fray. "This is it, Spike! You're going down."
"Oh, very clever, luv. I'm not going to get one of your world famous puns?" Spike melodramatically put his hands over his heart. "I feel so left out, so deprived."
"Shoulda finished you off years ago!"
"Just too in lust with my hot body, I expect," Spike preened. Turning slightly toward Harmony, he said, "Dress up, Harm, it's time for dinner, and I'm buyin'."
Harmony squealed with idiotic delight, "Oh, Spikey, we're going to The Meowing Owl! Oh, that's so wonderful! They've got this unbelievable chocolate and cream layered desert, soaked in brandy. It's to die for!"
"You're already dead, ya' dumb bint! And no, dinner's here." tilting his head toward the humans opposite.
She looked over and made a disgusted face before whining, "Then you'll take me to The Meowing Owl for after-dinner drinks?"
"Arrggh! Yes, Harm, I'll take you to the bloody annoying bird for drinks later."
Smiling beatifically, satisfied, she immediately went into vamp face, producing a scrunching-scraping noise as her facial bones and teeth realigned themselves. A nether-worldly guttural growl emanated from deep within as she reset her grip on the crossbow, ready for the kill.
Sproing!
Riley gasped, hands flashing down to the vibrating bolt embedded in his upper thigh. The new pain in combination with another wave of sheeting agony caused him to topple against a wheeled tray of instruments, overturning it, the implements clattering every which way across the floor. He dropped in a writhing heap to the floor.
Harmony looked down at her empty crossbow in confusion. "Oops?"
"Riley!" exclaimed Buffy, starting in his direction. She stopped when he looked up and weakly waved her back. "I'm-I'm okay...Buffy," he hoarsely gasped . "Just take care of..." and he waved at the two vamps. Buffy could see he was most obviously not okay, but ignoring Spike and Harmony was not going to do any good for Riley if the doctor got hurt, so she returned her attention back to them
Now also vamped for action, with a sneering smirk showing off his elongated fangs, Spike confidently strode toward the waiting slayer. He gloried in the certainty of his renewed power and abilities, and he was looking forward to earning his hat-trick. The pent up frustration drove him to do as much bloody damage to her as possible.
Just before he was in striking distance, Buffy leaped forward and unleashed a blinding series of fists, elbows, knees and feet at him, driving him back. He was able to block and dodge most of the attacks but was put off-balance and couldn't counter.
"Harmony, you wanna do another slap dance for me?" taunted Xander, waving a stake at her.
"Don't even blink, loser, or you'll miss me as I suck you dry!" She threw the now useless cross-bow at Xander, who stepped aside to dodge the object, and he tripped on the fallen table. Ignoring Cordelia, the vampire jumped toward him to take advantage. Cordelia quickly stepped across, took out a vial of holy water from her pocket and smashed it against the side of Harmony's face, causing her to stumble back in pain, grasping at her seared face.
Pushing off, Spike finally cleared space between himself and Buffy, ready to take the offensive as he snatched up a surgical tray to block a punch. Buffy clutched her fist in pain, howling. Spike saw his opportunity and went to strike her. His mind exploded a split second after his fist connected with her stomach, lightening bolts of pain flashing out from just behind his eyes, lancing dagger's of torment throughout his head and into his body. He shrieked and staggered away.
Spike stumbled backward, the pain diminished only slightly, vision eclipsed by gauzy curtains of fire. He slipped on some of the loose instruments scattered on the floor and fell heavily against the wall near Dr. Overheiser. Through slitted eyes he grimaced accusingly at the doctor, who merely shrugged, perhaps with a small hint of a smirk. Spike desisted from attacking him for fear of more pain.
Meanwhile, distracted by the burning pain tearing through her face, Harmony did not see Xander rise up and set himself to punch her, sending her spinning across the room to crash into the wall not far from Spike. Seeing Spike down and barely moving, Harmony decided that running as far and as fast as she could was the only part of valor she was interested in, and took off toward the room's door. She frantically dodged away from Xander and shoved Cordelia aside, who went sprawling to the floor.
Xander was about to give chase but quickly realized he would never be able to catch the fleeing vampire and so he turned back to help. He spotted Cordelia getting up painfully, grumbling, "I'm going to stake that melanin deprived bitch if it's the last thing I do." She angrily shook off Xander's attempts to aid her, snatched the stake from him and started toward the door. She scowled bitterly, seeing that Harmony was nowhere in sight. "Damn!"
Spike understood he'd been tricked by the doctor and that he was virtually defenseless, and he had no intention of hanging around anymore. He snarled at the oncoming Buffy, jumped to his feet and ran toward the door. Keeping an eye on the slayer he didn't see Xander step in front of him and they crashed together, legs and arms tangled. Now without a stake, Xander tried to keep him tied up, not let him get away like Harmony had, and give Buffy the chance to get to him.
While they twisted and writhed, Cordelia, still fuming after the long-departed Harmony, heard the commotion behind her. Seeing Spike's exposed back while he struggled to extricate himself from the boy, she acted. "You'll do!" she said, raised the stake and punched it into Spike's back. Only a moment passed before Xander found himself trying to grapple a cloud of dust and he awkwardly stumbled and fell.
Rushing to aid them, Buffy pulled up in sudden shock. "You..you..you.." Buffy stammered and waved her hands at the dust that was still settling. She was shocked by the events that just transpired before her eyes. "You killed him!"
"Ding dong?" sang Xander from down on the floor, Spike sprinkled all over him.
"How could you do that! The chip was working! It still worked! He couldn't hurt anybody."
"Maybe he just needed killin'?" Xander moaned as he struggled to get up.
Cordelia just stared at Buffy, shaking her head. "Pfft!" She turned to help Xander off the floor, whisking away at the dust. "Maybe you should look after someone with a beating heart, huh?" casting her eyes at Riley's huddled form.
Buffy ran over to her boyfriend and held him protectively. She called out over her shoulder to Dr. Overheiser, "Help, doctor! You've got to help him!"
The doctor was just now getting up but was having trouble maintaining himself upright on still shaky legs. He surveyed the ruin and started to complain, "This isn't the right place, I don't have the equip--"
"I, I think it's...now..." Riley wheezed again, eyes clenching tight, curling around his left side as the waves of pain crashed down again, sweat breaking out all over. "...or never, doc." he croaked.
The doctor curtly nodded his head in agreement. He waved to have Riley brought over to the table and then he went into the adjacent room to scrub down. Buffy and Xander carried Riley over to the table. The doctor soon came back in and shooed them all outside to wait.
An hour later Dr. Overheiser came out to face the waiting group. "He's a very very lucky man. It's not pretty--we should have gotten him to the proper facilities--but it'll do. I also took care of the wounds to his leg and hand." He grimaced over the fact he'd been forced to work under such appalling conditions, with hardly the right equipment, but he'd done the job and was damn proud of it.
"He's going to alright?" Buffy inquired anxiously.
"A few days rest and recuperation," he reassured her, "and he should be as good as new. He was very lucky." He stepped aside to allow Buffy and the others into the room where they found Riley already sitting up. Bandages were wrapped around his hand, the upper left part of his chest and around his leg where the pants had been cut away. Before he could get off the table Buffy ran over and gave him a hug, which he weakly returned.
"Thank God, Riley, you're okay!"
"Well, actually, I think thank Xander--" he caught the raised eyebrow from Cordelia, "and Cordelia--is a little more accurate." More softly, so that only Buffy could hear, he added, "And thank you, Buffy."
She started to help button up his shirt and he gratefully let her as he stroked her hair. When she was done she leaned back and took his bruised hand in hers, pulling his hand to her heart.
"I'm still here for you, all touchable and everything."
"Give me a week or so to heal, and I'll take full advantage of that fact." He slid down off the table, standing on his own, a little wobbly.
Buffy smiled, still holding his hand. She looked around at the other two and back up at Riley, then sighed, a different king of worried expression replacing the relieved look she'd just had. "Are you gonna be okay? 'Cause I really should get back and check on my mom. Xander can help you get back, okay?"
Riley looked down into her eyes, an unreadable expression flitting across his face. His hands tightened on hers briefly before he let go, answering in an even tone, "Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I'll be fine."
"I'll talk to you later." She leaned up and kissed him softly, then quickly turned away. "Cordy, can you give me a ride home?"
"But, umm, what about..." Cordelia dithered uncertainly, watching Xander as he went over to help Riley.
Having overheard Buffy's request Xander dug into his pocket and pulled out the keys and tossed them to Cordelia. "Go ahead, I'll call a cab." He smiled and nodded his head reassuringly.
Cordelia licked her lips and appeared to be about to say something, but Buffy's impatient fidgeting changed her mind. She turned to Buffy. "Let's go."
Riley watched Buffy leave, a wistful sigh escaping. Xander helped gather some of Riley's clothes and effects together and went to get his own jacket. The only normal Scoobies headed out in the footsteps of the two women, already long out of sight.
Leaning heavily on Xander for support, Riley looked sideways at his friend. "You said something about her needing me?"
"Cut her some slack. And just keep being there. Trust me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah"
On their way out of the vacant building, Xander called Sunnydale Taxi Service and gave the address. Once outside by the curb, Riley looked in the direction Buffy and Cordelia would have left. He turned to Xander and asked, "How do you do it? How do you deal with being the ordinary guy? Day after day. Being around Buffy. Or being around your friend there."
Xander threw a curious questioning look in the direction Riley had been looking. "You mean Cordy? She's as normal as they come. In a don't look at her cross-eyed or she'll make you feel lower than scum sort of way."
"She hasn't told you?"
"Told me? Told me what?"
"Maybe it's nothing. Nothing. Help me over to that bench, would you?"
"Whoa, hold it right there, pal! You don't start something like that and not finish it. Yeah, sure, Cordy and I have our issues, but I still care about her. And if there's something wrong I need to know about it. So spill, or we're walking home."
Riley knew he shouldn't have said anything, but it was too late now. And Xander was a good friend. Not to the point he and Forrest had once been, but nevertheless a good friend. Quick with a joke, faster with good advice, and always ready to help whenever he could. And Riley would trust him with his life if it came to that. And besides, Buffy hadn't sworn him to secrecy or anything.
"The visions she gets. Of the future."
"What are you talking about?" Xander looked very confused, as if Riley had just spoken Fyarl.
"Buffy said she's a seer. Gets visions of the future. That's how she helped out Angel."
"Ooohhh, that." Xander nodded his head knowingly but remained silent all the way back to Riley's apartment.
---
Early in the morning, shortly after Cordelia had collected Xander from Riley's, the faintest indigo glimmerings of dawn just starting to show in the eastern sky, they both tumbled into the apartment. Cordelia made it as far as the sofa before collapsing, Xander only as far as a kitchen chair.
Despite their physical exhaustion their minds were still reeling over the past night's events. Both of them knew they wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon no matter how tired they felt.
Hearing faint creaking from the chair Xander was sitting on, Cordelia pried open her lids, curious what he was doing. She saw him shifting in the chair while he regarded her with a strange contemplative look.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, too tired to put even the smallest amount of annoyance in her voice.
He glanced away from her, squirmed as he reset himself. "You didn't tell me about the visions."
"Visions?" she asked, hoping he would be too tired to pursue that topic.
No such luck.
"You see the future or something."
"Buffy told you!" she accused.
"Something like that," he said evasively. "Is it true?"
For a moment she considered lying to him, realized it was futile, pointless in the long run and, most importantly, beneath her and demeaning to him. She sighed and settled back down against the prickly cushions.
"I sometimes get these images of... bad things that are about to happen. I was Angel's seer, I guess you could say. Before he went all poopy. That's how we knew where to find the evil and try and stop it." She shrugged as if that's all that needed to be explained, and allowed her eyes to close, shutting off her view.
He scratched his ear, regarding her intently, going over the events since she had so suddenly and unexpectedly arrived in Sunnydale. Pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. "You saw something, didn't you? Something bad that involves Buffy. That's why you're back, right?"
Eyes still closed she nodded her head, not at all surprised at his ability to swiftly reach an accurate conclusion from sketchy and limited evidence. She had always known--poor grades indicative otherwise--that he could put portent and omen together better than most, figure out what the prophecy really meant, and come up with some way to stop it.
"What was it?" This time his tone was more demanding than the preceding gently curious tones.
"It's about--", she stopped, thinking carefully through the possible consequences. If Buffy hadn't told the rest of the gang yet, then she must have her reasons. Cordelia knew she would disagree with those reasons, she being who she was and Buffy who she was, but this was personal enough that Cordelia wasn't going to overstep certain boundaries. "It's Buffy's decision. It's not for me to say."
Not yet, anyway. But if Buffy let this drag on much longer she might spill anyway.
"If it concerns us, any of us, then it is for you to say! I need to know!"
Her temper suddenly flared. Of course he would think first about protecting his Buffy! She opened her eyes and glared at him. "What! So you can be the White Knight again? Race off to her rescue? Show what a brave and stalwart Sir Xander you are? It doesn't concern you, Xander. If Buffy wants to tell you, then fine, but you're not hearing it from me!" She closed her eyes again and allowed her head to fall back.
Clenching his jaw at her refusal and her accusations he tried to restrain himself from lashing out. He didn't agree with her but he was really too tired to get into a yelling match over it. That could wait till he'd gotten to the better side of a few hours sleep.
Taking several deep breathes, sucking in through his nose, he calmed down after a few moments and looked back at her. He could see she was just as tired, if not more so, then he was. He didn't know if it was a sign of his own growing maturity, or perhaps a response to the changes evident in her, but he allowed his anger to dissipate before speaking again.
He was curious about those changes. He genuinely wanted to know more about this woman, often exactly like he remembered, the good and the bad. And yet just as often so much more, all for the good. He next spoke gently and with frank curiosity. "What's it like being the modern Carnac the Magnificent?" he asked.
Responding to his change in attitude, she smiled ruefully. "It really sucks sometimes," she said.
He raised his eyebrows in silent question.
"They're gross and disgusting." She sighed deeply and shuddered. "And painful."
"Painful?"
"You ever been kicked in the head by a horse?"
"Thankfully no, I haven't had the pleasure. Though I'll bet a vampire's punch comes pretty close. That bad, huh?"
"No. It's more like getting kicked by an entire team of horses."
"Ouch!" he winced in genuine sympathy. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks," she smiled.
"How do you deal with that?"
"But," not hearing him, she continued thoughtfully, "It's okay, too, in a way. I'm able to do some real good in the world. For awhile we were really helping people. Maybe not a whole lot all the time, but still, I made a difference."
"Yeah, I get that." He didn't add more, remaining silent.
A minute or two passed before she asked, "Why the quiet face?"
"Nothing. It's nothing" he answered, but refused to face her. Then he did look at her and with some forced cheer said, "Congratulations are in order, I suppose. It sounds like you've got something really important there."
"Yup. Really important, mind-shatteringly painful visions. A great gig. But it reads better than it lives." She stretched out, wearily clambered to her feet and went to her room. Xander assumed she was finally going to bed, but he himself wasn't ready yet. Clasping his hands together in front of him he made a small audible sigh and stared out the window as he considered his place in the world and his place in the Scooby Gang.
Minutes later, as she was on her way to wash up before going to sleep, she spotted him still sitting, chin in hand, staring out the windows.
"Okay, I've known you too long and, unfortunately, too well. What's bouncing around that empty head of yours?"
He didn't bother to turn toward her. "Empty bouncy thoughts," he told her reflection in the window.
She was perfectly aware something was wrong. Xander was hardly the type to do an Angel impression. Circling around the table she sat in his line of sight, blocking out the window. He blinked at the change of scenery, but evaded her gaze and lowered his eyes to inspect his hands.
"Xander?" he heard her ask quietly. She reached out to touch his arm.
He glanced at the hand on his arm, then up at her. The look of evident concern surprised him.
"You're vision girl. You've got something there. On top of everything else that's spe--" He sighed and started over, to try and express what he was feeling without sounding as bitter as he felt. "And..." he quirked his mouth and shrugged his shoulders.
"And?"
"Everyone has something. Now. Something special or important. Useful."
He tried to believe in the words he'd told Riley earlier. And most of the time he succeeded easily. Still, sometimes, the doubts surfaced and gnawed at him. In a very real and practical sense he knew he had the least to offer the group, that he was as often a detriment and hindrance as a help. He kept trying, through dogged determination and shear stubbornness. But now he wondered if it was just plain stupidity, and that it would just be better for all concerned to finally give it a rest, get off the field and let the pros play.
The underlying meaning of his words cut her deep. She knew exactly what he was talking about and her own contribution to that matter. She had been angry then, rightfully so, but she now admitted to herself that she didn't have to go quite so far quite so often.
She knew he wasn't nothing, that he mattered, but what could she say that would convince him otherwise? What could she say to break him out of this funk, something other a cheesy litany of all his accomplishments, which he'd probably heard a million times over? She tried to think of some deeper, more philosophic answer that would actually reach him at level he couldn't argue with.
She desperately cast around, then came up with a crazy notion. Perhaps just crazy enough to work.
"I know," she said brightly, "you're baseball!"
Xander stared blankly at her for a moment, not sure he actually heard her right.
"Huh?"
At least it got his attention. She continued excitedly, "Yeah, baseball!"
He gave her a rather dubious frown as he tried to puzzle out what she was implying. "I'm white, round, and stuffed with yarn?" he murmured.
"Yes! No. I mean yes!"
"Somehow," he said, slowly shaking his head, "that's making me feel just so much better. Thank you, Cordelia."
"No, no, stupid. Not a baseball, but baseball the game. Like that movie you made me watch."
"Movie?" he asked, now very confused. "I'm a baseball movie?"
She scowled at him, very irritated now with his denseness. "No! The one you made me watch. Y'know, with Costner and the talking corn and James Earl Jones is telling him how important baseball is. That's you. You're baseball!"
Xander waved his hand to prompt her to explain. Of course he remembered the movie, a favorite of his. She had tolerated the movie only because she thought Costner was still kind of cute back then. She'd had actually slept through most of it, only waking up near the end during James Earl Jones' inspiring homily. At the time he had gotten a laugh from her when he commented he could enjoy hearing that deep sonorous voice even if James Earl Jones was only reciting the phone book.
"Baseball is what we measure everything by. You show us what's good, what we're fighting for. You give us a common bond, hold us together. That's you. We're the freaks. We only do what we do because we have to, or we're called to it, or, or, or... we've got nothing better to do. You do it because you want to. With nothing to defend yourself you still chose to beat back the bad," she said, horribly mangling James Earl Jones' words.
He looked up to see if she was done, which she apparently was. He pursed his lips and blinked rapidly. He scratched his head for a moment, a funny disbelieving expression on his face while he allowed the words to percolate.
"That's, that's really...," he started.
It in fact was one of the kookiest things he'd ever heard, and was about to tell her so. However, looking up at her again, seeing her face beautifully alight with emotion, he realized that she'd genuinely been trying to help. He clearly saw now the caring and compassionate human being he knew was always present yet all too often hidden.
She cared. Cared about people and how they felt. Hurt if they hurt, happy if they were happy. He had always known that about her even though she kept that aspect of herself very well hidden, except for rare times alone with him. This moment was a culmination of observations he had been making ever since her return. He saw that now she could so unselfconsciously show she cared, and that she would try to remedy the pain if she could.
And unbelievably she seemed to be concerned about him, cared that he hurt. She wanted to ease his pain, albeit in her own unique way, granted. He was touched beyond measure that she would do that for him now, he who had once caused her so much pain.
He amended his original stumbling reply and said, "--that's really... something. Thanks." He gave her a small but sincere and appreciative smile. He stood up. "I'll think about it." He turned and softly said, "Pleasant dreams, Cordy, sleep well." With a tender thoughtful expression Cordelia watched him head to his room.
AN: Well, about Spike. I'm going to assume at least a few people are upset about that. Let me explain. There are two reasons I killed the character.
The first would have to be the basic logic, which I think is reasonable and fairly clearly presented in the chapter. If you review the shows up to this point I think you might agree that even though Spike has been helpful once or twice, the most charitable thing that can be said in his favor is he is at best a hindrance. More often he is actually deadly. Though he can't kill for himself, he's still evil (by his own admission) and can set things in motion, or aid and abet another's plans, to hurt, maim and kill. His few efforts to help the Scoobies are almost invariably selfish, e.g. it's his only outlet for violence. So like Xander said, maybe he just needed killin'!
The other reason--in fact the real reason--is that I don't think I can write the character. Between the sarcastic wit and the English idioms and whatnot it's just beyond me. And I could find no reasonable excuse for keeping him out of the story unless he wasn't around. I'd already made Anya disappear for unexplained reasons and so I couldn't go there again. Ergo, I killed the character. (And it was kinda fun! grins evilly )
And about the restaurant Harmony wants to go to...there's a place not far from where I live called 'The Barking Frog'. Just one of those cool names I always wanted to use in a story.
