(Harbingers in a Fountain)

A/N: this story is AU.

I don't own Bones.

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Lying on his bed in his apartment, Booth rested his arm across his closed eyes and tried to accept what had happened. He had confessed his love to Brennan and she had rejected him. He had known that was a possibility before he'd said anything, but he couldn't remain silent about how he felt about her. Now he was worried that she might decide she didn't want to be his partner anymore and maybe end their friendship. They had finished their case, but he had noticed how reserved his partner had been towards him and it worried him. He should have told her he loved her as a friend, but he couldn't do that. He didn't want to hide behind that friendship and live with regrets.

Damn dream. That world had been so cool and I loved it. I had a lot of friends, a cool job and Bones loved me and was married to me . . . I know it was a dream, I know that . . . It's just . . . I've loved her for so long and that dream gave me exactly what I wanted . . . Now I may have lost everything and it's my fault. I don't know if I can fix this. I don't know if Bones will let me fix this . . . I'm an idiot.

A knock on the door startled him. He wasn't sure who was at the door and he didn't really care. He didn't think he could face whoever was there and pretend he was alright. He wasn't alright and that was a fact.

Whoever was at the door knocked on the door again and Booth chose to ignore it. "Damn it! I don't need or want company. Why can't they just leave me alone? Everyone seems to think they can control me and I'm sick of it. I'm not sick anymore and I know I'm not living in that damn dream and they need to just fuck off." He was angry. He just didn't know if he was angry with himself, his meddling friends or Brennan. "No, not Bones . . . she didn't do anything wrong. This is all on me. This is my fault. I know she doesn't believe in love and . . . what a mess."

Since Booth had refused to open the door, Brennan had used her spare key to his apartment door and entered uninvited. Standing in Booth's bedroom doorway, she had heard him speak and she knew he was upset since he was talking to himself. "It isn't all on you, Booth."

Surprised, he removed his arm from across his face and sat up. "Bones . . . what are you doing here?" He was afraid that she had come to tell him that his partnership was over. "I . . ."

"Booth." She could see the worry on his face and interrupted him. "You didn't do anything wrong. You told me that you love me. It wasn't a terrible thing to say. Even I know that . . . I just wasn't sure how to respond at that moment . . . I do love you as a friend. I have for a long time and I need you to know that . . . I'm not upset or angry that you told me you love me and I need you to know that. You seemed upset when you walked away from me after you told me and you seemed a little stand offish while we finished our case . . . I knew I needed to talk to you."

"I know you think I love you because of my dream, but that's not true, Bones." Booth wanted her to understand him and why he had said what he'd said. "I've loved you for a long time. I'm not sure how long, not really, maybe since the day I met you . . . anyway, I figured it out when Jamie Kenton kidnapped you and tried to kill you. I couldn't let him take you away from me and I knew . . . I knew Bones that I needed you in my life. I just knew I couldn't tell you that, not then. You didn't really know who I was. You didn't know anything about me and you were still learning to trust me. It's been my secret for a long time . . . I've tried to be the friend you need me to be and I've tried to be there for you when you needed help. I did it out of love but I couldn't tell you that especially since you don't believe in love . . . that tumor . . . it made me realize that I'm probably going to die young and I wanted to tell you how I feel about you before it's too late . . . I don't expect you to love me back. I just wanted you to know that you're loved by someone in this world. You needed to hear that at least once . . . okay?"

Her emotions a rolling storm inside her, Brennan stood in the doorway and stared at her partner for a few moments. Besides her parents and Sully, no one had ever told her that they loved her. It was confusing and she didn't know how to react.

He could see that she was afraid and he knew it was his fault. Moving from the bed, Booth knew he needed to do something, but he was afraid that whatever he chose to do would be a mistake. Standing next to his bed, he slowly opened his arms wide and hoped she understood what he was offering.

Suddenly, the storm of emotion raging inside her stopped. Staring at Booth, she slowly moved into the room, around the bed and into her partner's arms. Her arms around his chest, she leaned against him and didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what to say and she hoped Booth understood.

His arms around her, Booth wasn't quite sure what was happening, but Brennan was in his embrace and he knew she wanted him. Maybe just as a friend, but she did want him. "Bones, I love you, but you don't have to love me back. I know you don't trust love. You think that it's just some chemicals and something else I don't understand and it's okay . . ."

Before he could say anything else, Brennan moved her hands to the sides of his head and pulled it down so she could kiss him. Their kisses gentle, they both were careful not to go too far. At least not yet.

"Bones . . . tell me what's going on. You have to be the one to tell me what's happening." Booth wanted to believe that Brennan loved him, but he didn't want to make a mistake and scare her. She had to decide what was going on. It was up to her. He wouldn't force her to do something she didn't want to do.

Staring into his eyes, she smiled and shook her head. "I don't have your heart, Booth. I'm not really demonstrative and you know that . . . I want to be strong and I think I can be . . . I would like to have a relationship with you, but if we can't make that relationship work, I will not end our friendship and I will not let you end it either. We're friends, Booth. We are very good friends and that has to come first, but I can also give you more if you want me to. It isn't just up to me and you know that . . . We both have to agree that if we've made a mistake and we can't be in a personal relationship we can still be friends. We can still be partners. I have to hear you say that before we can move forward. Do you understand?"

He understood that she didn't trust love, but she was willing to try to have a relationship with him and that was more than he had expected. "We will always be friends, Bones. I can promise you that. Nothing that happens between us can destroy that friendship. That can never happen . . . Do you understand?"

"Yes . . . I do understand." She smiled and kissed him again. "I shouldn't have let Sweets influence me and advise me to go to Guatemala. Not when you really needed me here. It was a mistake . . . He wanted to use psychology on you and I know you hate that as much as I do."

Booth returned her kiss. "The kid thought he could help me and he wanted you to leave so he could work on me. I know that. You did what he asked you to do and it's okay . . . That story you wrote me while I was sleeping, it was a great story. I loved it maybe a little too much, but it's the best story you've ever written. I mean that . . . You wrote it for me and that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me . . . I love you Bones. I love you and I want to thank you for saving my life. You recognized I was in trouble and you didn't wait. You made me go to the hospital and I'm glad you did that. I sure didn't know I had a problem. I was seeing things and I didn't realize I was sick, not really. Only you knew that and I need you to know I appreciate that you took care of me . . . You're the best friend I've ever had."

Feeling emotional, Brennan kissed him then leaned her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Booth. I couldn't do anything else."

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I hope you are enjoying my story. Reviews are the only way I can tell if anyone is still interested in this story.