Chapter 50: The Closeness
"Esmeralda! Clopin! Stay where I can see you!"
Esmeralda was having too much fun to listen to her aunt's instructions. It was rare that she and Clopin had a chance to run through the street, since her aunt preferred that they stay in the Court of Miracles. But the children had convinced her to let them go to town with her today while she ran an errand. Esmeralda's excuse had been that she needed to see more daylight. Clopin had merely cited that it would be fun.
It was fun. Esmeralda enjoyed running around with her cousin, seeing all the different people and businesses. While her aunt was busy, she was determined to enjoy being out and about to the fullest extent.
"Esmeralda, look!" Clopin cried. "It's a horse!"
Esmeralda gasped. Just outside the courthouse, a man was holding onto a tall, black horse. It was the largest horse Esmeralda had ever seen. She and Clopin quickly went to check it out.
"Is that your horse?" Esmeralda asked the man holding the horse's reins.
"Oh no, I'm just holding him for the judge." The man replied.
"He's so big!" Clopin remarked. "I bet he's fast too!"
"I would assume so." The man agreed. "The judge has the best of everything."
"He's beautiful!" Esmeralda commented, reaching out a hand and stroking the creature's hair.
At that moment, two men came strolling out of the courthouse. One was an affluent-looking, older man. The other wore judge's robes, although he looked young for a judge.
"Judge Frollo, are you quite certain about this?" The older man asked the judge.
"I have given you my answer." The judge replied.
"You haven't even met her! How can you say-"
"I don't care how pretty your daughter is! I'm not getting married! Now if you don't mind, I'll be on my-"
The judge stopped in his tracks, gawking at the sight of the children in front of his horse. Furiously, he strutted up to Esmeralda and pushed her hand away from the horse.
"Get your filthy hands off my horse!" The judge thundered.
Esmeralda was frightened. What had she done wrong?
"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Clopin snapped.
Esmeralda was relieved when Clopin stood up for her, especially because he called her his sister. They weren't siblings by blood, but Esmeralda was happy that Clopin loved her like a sister just as she loved him like a brother.
"Watch your mouth, child!" The judge threatened.
He turned to the man who held the reins and swiped them from him.
"Why have you let these gypsy children near my property?!" The judge demanded.
"They were just curious about the horse..." The man replied nervously.
"Probably curious about horse THEFT!" The judge snapped.
"I wouldn't steal a horse!" Esmeralda insisted. "I don't even know how!"
"You're in training, no doubt." The judge assumed. "Your kind are nothing but trouble!"
"Judge Frollo!" The older man called, catching up. "Will you please reconsider my offer? You're a reasonable young man. Surely-"
"ENOUGH!" The judge yelled. "I swear, if one more man asks me to marry his daughter, I will punch his teeth out just to shut him up! I am not getting married! EVER!"
Esmeralda struggled to believe what she was seeing. Most men had to ask women's fathers for permission to marry them, but the judge apparently had men begging him to marry their daughters. The appeal was understandable. Judges were powerful men who possessed money and status. But what kind of man like that needed to be begged to marry? He could easily have nearly any woman, and yet he was furiously determined to avoid them.
But among his anger, there was something else that Esmeralda noticed. The judge seemed to have a touch of sadness in his eyes. What was the cause of that?
"Clopin! Esmeralda!"
Esmeralda saw her aunt run toward her and Clopin, grabbing them and pulling them toward her.
"Are these children yours?!" The judge questioned.
"I'm sorry, your honor!" Esmeralda's aunt said pleadingly. "They didn't mean to offend you!"
"Teach them to keep their hands off the property of their superiors!" The judge snapped.
With that, he mounted his horse and rode away.
Later, Esmeralda's aunt reprimanded her and Clopin.
"Never run away from me again!" She ordered. "And for crying out loud, stay away from that man!"
"Who is he?" Esmeralda inquired.
"That was Judge Claude Frollo! He hates us!"
"What? Why does he hate us?"
"I don't know, Esmeralda. Some people can't stand those who are different from them."
Esmeralda was disheartened. She'd never thought that strolling around town could be so dangerous.
"I think he deserves a prank." Clopin said with a mischievous grin.
"Don't even think about it!" Esmeralda's aunt scolded.
Clopin frowned. Though young and innocent, he was vengeful, and playing jokes on people was his way of getting even with them.
"But why did he look so sad?" Esmeralda asked, thinking of that sorrowful look in the judge's eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Her aunt replied. "But you mustn't feel bad for him. Judge Frollo is a bad man."
Esmeralda couldn't shake the feeling that she'd seen sadness in that man. For days she couldn't get over it. But over time, as she heard of the mistreatment he inflicted on her people, Esmeralda changed her mind. Judge Claude Frollo was nothing but senselessly cruel. He wasn't capable of feeling sad. It was clear that he felt nothing but contempt.
Esmeralda lay agitated in bed. This was an odd place to be in the afternoon, but it was the safest place to have a private struggle. Esmeralda had screamed into a pillow a few times. Now she wrestled with the sheets, pulling them tightly around her as if to restrain herself.
Making her decision should have been made easier by the fact that Phoebus promised to support her. But after speaking to him, Esmeralda somehow felt even more troubled.
Phoebus didn't like Claude, and for good reasons. Esmeralda painfully pondered the fact that she was lovestruck over a man with so much bloodshed in his past. A man whom she'd been warned away from for as long as she could remember.
All the crimes of his past played through Esmeralda's thoughts. Anger bubbled up within her as she thought of the violence. Judge Claude Frollo... Oppressor of her people... Punisher of the innocent... The worst person in the history of-
"Esmeralda?"
Esmeralda looked up and saw that Claude had come into the room. Not Judge Frollo. Not the monster. Just Claude...
He came to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Are you alright?" He asked. "It's a strange time to be in bed."
He was looking after her, typical of him. Esmeralda frowned. The anger within her had risen, and now she could not ignore it. She didn't want that. She wanted to love Claude, who was now a redeemed version of his former self. She wanted to crush the anger she felt, but it was too strong. Pushing it aside was the best she could do.
Esmeralda went to sit by Claude, trying not to focus on what she'd just been thinking.
"I'm okay." She assured. "I've just been thinking."
Claude nodded. He thought it best not to question what she was pondering, so he instead decided to relay what the captain had told him.
"The captain thinks he is close to finding the men we seek." Claude reported.
Esmeralda froze. She hadn't really expected this to happen. She'd long felt as if her attackers had completely vanished. The reminder that they were still out there, and maybe close enough to be caught, was frightening.
"Esmeralda?" Claude asked with concern.
He took her hand to comfort her. Esmeralda sighed.
"I'm just shocked." She explained. "I still want you to find them, but it does shake me up a little. I've managed to feel like they don't exist."
"Are you sure you still want this?" Claude asked.
He felt guilty for putting Esmeralda through this stress.
"I do." Esmeralda confirmed. "It's not pleasant right now, but I'll feel much better when they're locked up."
"Then I won't stop until they are." Claude promised.
Esmeralda remembered why she liked Claude. He was always there for her like this, making her feel loved...
It felt like there was a war waging within her. Part of her was angry about Claude's past, but the other part adored him for who he was now.
"Is there any way I can help you feel better?" Claude asked.
Of course, he had something planned to cheer her up. But that would have to wait a few days.
It occurred to Esmeralda that she could use a distraction from everything. Maybe being cooped up indoors was causing her to overthink.
"Could we go for a walk?" She requested.
"Certainly." Claude replied.
The fresh air was beneficial. Esmeralda felt better immediately after stepping outside. Walking around town provided some much-needed exercise, which helped her relax.
But at one point, she stopped in her tracks. Claude stopped after her, curious.
"Why are we stopping?" He asked.
"Look." Esmeralda instructed.
In front of them was the courthouse. Claude failed to understand the significance of this.
"It's the courthouse." He acknowledged. "Am I missing something?"
Esmeralda wasn't surprised that Claude didn't remember. She'd forgotten it herself until just now, but being with him in this place brought back a memory that Esmeralda couldn't believe she'd lost sight of. In all her years of hating Judge Claude Frollo, she'd managed to forget the exact moment when she first encountered him. But now it hit her like a crashing wave.
"This is where we first met..." Esmeralda reminisced.
"We met here?" Claude questioned.
"A long time ago. You accused me of trying to steal your horse."
Claude's eyes widened. He'd done more than enough despicable things to forget most of his malicious encounters with innocent citizens. But after being reminded, he clearly remembered a time when he'd left the courthouse and snapped at two Romani children for coming near his horse. One of them had been a girl. A girl who had grown up and now stood with him.
"That was you?!" Claude asked in shock.
Esmeralda nodded.
"And... Clopin?" Claude asked.
Esmeralda nodded again.
Claude was speechless. He never could have imagined that the young girl he'd told off would come back into his life so many years later.
This also reminded him of the reality of the age difference between them. Claude didn't know exactly how old Esmeralda was, but the fact that he'd met her when she was a child, at which point he'd been a young man, was shocking. Claude didn't recall his exact age at their first meeting, but he judged that Esmeralda was not older than thirty now. She was older than Quasimodo, though. Somewhere above twenty.
"I can't believe I've never asked this," Claude started. "But... How old are you?"
"Twenty-eight." Esmeralda replied. "And... You?"
"Probably not as old as you think." Claude sighed. "I'm fifty-three."
Esmeralda was surprised. She'd known there was a definite age gap between her and Claude, but it was actually smaller than she'd assumed. Claude certainly looked older than he was.
Claude could tell that Esmeralda was wondering, so he decided to explain.
"My work has aged me." He shared. "I've never admitted it, but being Minister of Justice is rather stressful."
It was true. Claude's job was not an easy one.
"I believe you." Esmeralda said compassionately.
They looked at each other quietly, feeling strange. The age gap between them had always been obvious, but this was the first time they'd acknowledged it.
Unexpectedly, Esmeralda chuckled.
"What is it?" Claude questioned.
"I just realized," Esmeralda started. "There's actually less of an age difference between us than there was between my parents."
"Is that so?" Claude asked.
"They were thirty years apart." Esmeralda explained. "My father would be much older than you if he were alive."
Claude lightly chuckled.
"Well, that makes it a bit less awkward." He said thankfully.
His mind travelled back to the incident they'd just remembered from all those years ago.
"I'm sorry I called you a horse thief." Claude apologized. "That was... Silly."
Esmeralda laughed.
"I never thought you'd admit to being irrational." She said with a smirk.
Claude grinned, shaking his head at himself.
"I've never properly introduced you to Geoffrey." He realized. "Would you like to meet him?"
Esmeralda smiled.
"I'd really like that."
Esmeralda caressed the black stallion's mane while Claude brushed his coat.
"You take good care of him." Esmeralda complimented.
It was rather a surprise to see a judge grooming his own horse. Esmeralda suspected that most wealthy men didn't do this kind of work.
"I always have." Claude shared. "Geoffrey is a friend to me. I even tend to talk to him when I have things on my mind."
"I didn't realize you liked animals." Esmeralda said with a smile.
"I don't know much about other animals." Claude admitted. "But I certainly like horses. For a long time, I liked them more than people."
That made sense. Claude had lived a lonely life, never counting on anyone to love him. Esmeralda could see why he would appreciate the loyalty of a horse. She wondered if other animals might gain his affection too.
"How do you feel about... Goats?" Esmeralda questioned.
Claude looked at her with some confusion before realizing why she was asking.
"Don't you have a little goat friend?" He asked.
Esmeralda nodded proudly.
"Do you think you could get along with a goat?" She inquired.
"I... Believe I could." Claude smiled.
Esmeralda smiled back. But soon her smile faded.
She realized something troubling: Claude had given a hopeful answer to everything she'd asked him today. Nothing she had learned about him so far had caused her to lose interest in him. That should have been a good thing, but it wasn't. It meant that making her decision would be even harder. Not feeling something for him would make it easy, but she did feel something for him. Something strong and unfading. Something that might not be compatible with life's circumstances...
Claude noticed the look on her face and strode over to her.
"Is something troubling you?" He asked.
"Just the same struggle..." Esmeralda said sorrowfully.
Claude frowned. He wanted Esmeralda to choose him, but that wasn't easy for her, and he didn't blame her.
"You can take your time." Claude reassured. "I don't expect you to rush a decision."
Esmeralda nodded, thankful that Claude wouldn't pressure her.
"In the meantime," Claude continued. "What would you like?"
Esmeralda hesitated. What she wanted was Claude. She wanted him like she couldn't believe.
"Would a repeat of last night be too much?" She asked.
"Not at all." Claude replied.
They fell into bed together that evening. Esmeralda ignored everything that bothered her. She wouldn't worry about where things would go with Claude, she would only enjoy him now. The feeling was very mutual, and it could be felt in the heavy kisses they exchanged.
Claude basked in the feeling of Esmeralda on top of him. She let him put his hands up under her shirt, feeling every perfect inch of her skin. At the same time, she grabbed at his muscles through his clothes, eventually sliding his tunic off and eagerly feeling his chiseled form while she kissed him.
It was great, until it wasn't.
Claude's thoughts started to drift toward less pleasant things. He thought of how forbidden this had been to him for so long... The fear he'd had of sinning... The punishment he'd been threatened with... The fire...
Hellfire... The torch...
Esmeralda moved her hands all over him.
That first kiss...
She kissed him with an unquenchable energy.
The brutal flame melted his skin...
Her hands were on his chest, making contact with his scar...
Claude couldn't handle it. He wanted to shout at her to stop. But he couldn't do that. He'd agreed to this when she'd been feeling down. Disappointing her now would be...
"Claude?"
Esmeralda had paused. She'd noticed that the kissing had become one-sided and Claude had stopped touching her. Now, when she looked at his face, she saw a look that she was unfortunately familiar with.
He was frozen. His eyes were damp and full of fear. Most concerningly, he was breathing in short gasps.
"Claude, breathe..." Esmeralda begged.
Claude closed his eyes and started to inhale deeply. Esmeralda started to hug him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Claude managed to calm down, the fire slowly leaving his mind.
He sighed when his breath became normal again.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized.
"You don't need to say that." Esmeralda assured.
"It was... The torch..." Claude managed.
Esmeralda immediately understood. She knew the burn that Claude had been punished with long ago had scared him. It was the reason he'd frozen like this when his lips had touched her the first time. Even now, the fear of being punished had not fully left him.
"No one is going to punish you." Esmeralda assured. "You've done nothing wrong. It wasn't your fault..."
Claude wiped his eyes.
"I'm trying so hard to believe that..." He sighed. "I don't know what got into me tonight. I really am sorry."
"You don't need to be." Esmeralda insisted. "We don't have to do it. Do you want to just... Lie here together?"
Claude was relieved by Esmeralda's reaction. He didn't feel like he deserved someone this understanding, but he was thankful to have her, even if it was temporary.
"I would like that." Claude replied.
Esmeralda lay against Claude, resting her head on his upper chest like she'd done the night before. Claude held her gently and caressed her back.
This was perfect. They didn't mind that they weren't having sex. This closeness made them content. It was a beautiful feeling.
Claude breathed a relaxed breath as he felt Esmeralda's hand slowly run over his bare torso.
"I love when you touch me." He shared. "For the longest time, I didn't know what it was like to be touched like this... Nicely..."
Esmeralda struggled to imagine the loneliness of Claude's life. In some ways she understood him well, but one thing she didn't understand was the feeling of being unloved. She'd always had some amount of friends and family whom she could count on for a hug. Claude hadn't had any of that. He wasn't used to being touched in a way that wasn't cruel.
"I wish I wasn't the first." Esmeralda said compassionately. "But I'm glad I can give you that."
Her hand came to rest on his chest, half on the scar and half off of it, as if to acknowledge his pain while still knowing what he was apart from it. Claude appreciated that.
"I never wanted anyone to see me like this." He noted, referring to his exposed skin. "I've been ashamed of my flesh for too long. You are the first person to make me feel better about it."
Lying here with someone, bare to the waist, had in itself been a repulsive thought in the past. Claude couldn't believe that he now did it without reluctance, or that he'd gone further the night before and willingly let someone fully undress him. It wasn't the same as when he'd been with Esmeralda on their first two nights. At that time he'd only begrudgingly let her see his body. But it was different now. He wanted to give himself to her, even if it was difficult. She made it possible to overcome the shame by treating him with such care.
Esmeralda struggled to believe that she made that much of a difference for Claude. She'd never felt like anything special, just a common girl who spent too much of her life dancing for coins.
"Am I really that important to you?" She asked.
"Of course you are." Claude insisted. "What sort of question is that?"
"I've just... Never felt very significant." Esmeralda confessed.
"Is that a joke?" Claude asked. "Or do you really not realize how wonderful you are?"
"It's a little hard to believe." Esmeralda admitted. "I never really thought I was anything special."
Claude wanted to make her believe it. Esmeralda deserved to know how lovely she was.
"You amaze me." Claude explained. "You're strong, righteous, intelligent, fun to be around, unbelievably kind..."
He locked his fingers into the thick curls of Esmeralda's hair while his other hand stroked her back.
"You've changed my life." Claude added. "What I find truly curious is that I mean anything to you."
Esmeralda was fascinated by Claude's affection for her. She could see why he felt this way, but it was still a wonder to her. But of course, it was probably even more of a wonder to him that she had such strong feelings for him.
She moved off of Claude's chest and laid her head by his, looking into his eyes.
"You're always there for me." She explained, touching his face. "And I enjoy your company. And I really admire how hard you work... To make things right."
She gently stroked his cheek.
"No matter what happens," Esmeralda continued. "You will always be important to me."
Claude barely smiled.
"Likewise." He returned.
They looked at each other quietly for a moment before closing the gap between them, joining in a long and loving kiss.
"I've never seen the stars like this." Elaine said happily.
"They sure are beautiful." Quasimodo admired.
They lay together on the roof of the cathedral, gazing up at the night sky.
"It's always so nice spending time with you." Elaine shared. "My life has been so much more fun since the first time I came to the belltower."
Quasimodo blushed. It made him happy to have someone who liked him this much. It was great to have Elaine as a friend, especially since Esmeralda hadn't been around much...
"You know what?" Quasimodo started. "I've been thinking about what you said. And since Esmeralda hasn't stopped by, I think I'll go and find her tomorrow so we can talk."
"I think that's a great idea!" Elaine approved.
"I am a little nervous, though." Quasimodo confessed. "I made her cry last time..."
"You'll work it out with her." Elaine encouraged. "I can come with you, if you want."
Quasimodo looked at Elaine with a smile.
"Thanks a lot." He said gratefully.
Elaine smiled back.
Her smile had always been a bright one, but it was even brighter recently, since she'd met Quasimodo.
Well, this ended up taking more time than I expected, but I hope you like it!
