SIMON
I've never seen Baz so worked up, and if I'm being honest I'm quite rather enjoying it.
"Snow, you and Wellbelove. How'd you do it?"
"I knew it!" I shout, nearly jumping off my bed to jam a finger in his face. "You're jealous that Agatha chose me. You've been trying to steal her from me since fifth year!"
"What? Snow, I-" Baz stops, then shakes his head. "This isn't about Wellbelove. I'm not interested in her. That was all just a ploy to get under your skin."
Oh.
"Well, it bloody worked, didn't it?" I manage, not entirely sure what to do next. I sit back down.
Baz clears his throat again. He's back to looking everywhere except me. "What I mean is, how did you two start out?"
I make a noise. I'm not quite sure what kind of noise it is. But I think he realises my confusion.
"Crowley, Snow, I'm asking you for advice!"
Oh. Baz. Baz is asking me for advice. Baz is asking me for romantic advice. I don't know what to say. I stare at him. Baz is asking me for romantic advice.
I stare at him. I blink. I stare some more. My mouth opens. I close it. I stare at him. Baz is asking me for romantic advice.
Baz sneers. "I knew I shouldn't have asked you." He turns and gets under his covers, facing away from me.
"Wait, Baz! I didn't think you were serious! Are you serious?" I reach for him and grab his shoulder.
"Let go of me, Snow. Forget about it and just go to sleep," Baz swats my hand away.
I sit back down on my bed. "Baz," I start, softer this time. "You've never had a girlfriend, have you?"
Now that I'm thinking about it, the only girl he's ever shown interest in was Agatha, and he just admitted that was because he was trying to get under my skin. He must just not know how to show he likes someone.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Baz groans, pulling his pillow over his head.
"What? You can't just ask me for advice on confessing to someone then tell me you don't want to talk about it! Who is she?" I pull his pillow away from him and go back to shaking him.
Baz groans again, then rolls onto his back. "Don't touch me when you're not wearing clothes."
"I'm wearing pants," I say defensively. I still let him go though because he is right about how weird that is. (I don't normally grab him while wearing nothing but pants.) (I don't normally grab him.)
"Snow, are you homophobic?"
Where the bloody hell did that come from?
"Of course not!" I shout, maybe a little too loud.
"Snow-" Baz takes a deep breath. I can tell he's debating on telling me something. I'm still not sure what any of this has to do with homophobia. "I'm gay."
Oh.
