She felt human again. For now anyway.
It was a strange realisation but it was true. She was confident at work, she could run without her lungs burning, she could sleep without nightmares, the burnt skin across her chest and a patch on her calf were healed, the difference now only noticeable to her when she moved in an unnatural way or had an especially hot shower. She had gained a small amount of weight and her waist was now better defined, her ribs no longer so obvious, the hourglass she was used to had returned along with her confidence.
She ran her hands along her skin tight black dress, watching herself in the mirror, checking the thin straps were in place. Her arms were more toned than before, she had added press ups to her run at the halfway point. It was a strange sort of punishment at first mixed with an obsessive desire to regain the fitness she had before the fire. But now the press ups were easy and her arms and shoulders told her why. She ran her fingers over her chest, almost surprised to feel smooth skin. She rolled her eyes and reached for her lipgloss but stopped part way when her phone vibrated.
Can't do tomorrow.
Can I pop in now?
Some of her new confidence abandoned her. A text from her sister's fiance. She sent a quick response.
Yes, but ASAP please.
Her sister's damned fiance.
She took a deep breath and reached again for her lipgloss, returning to checking her appearance in the mirror.
The doorbell shouldn't have made her jump, but it did. She took a deep breath then scolded herself for her dramatics, before heading for the door, heels clacking against the floor, quickly reminding herself that she looked good, felt good.
"Hey" she opened the door. Eddie's face fell. Rachel stared back in surprise but kept her face passive. She watched his expression. His mouth opened slightly then his eyes ran over her. She knew that look on a man, knew the hint of hunger in his eyes.
"Err hey" he shook his head for a moment.
"You okay?" She asked passively. The small shred of her confidence, that had somehow entangled itself with his good opinion, once again returning.
"I… yeah good. Here" he handed over a stack of files.
"Oh wait. I've got one for you actually, come in" she said, taking the files and walking to her dining room. She felt his eyes on her. She flicked through a few documents. "If I can find it" she glanced at him for a moment to find his eyes pinned on her. She lent forward across the table and retrieved a file then flicked through it for a moment before approaching him. "Just need you to countersign" she said. He took the file.
"Sure"
"You sure you're okay? You're being quiet" her head tilted.
"Yeah good" he turned suddenly towards the door. "Where are you off to?"
"A wedding. But the party bit. People always moan about those invites, but it's the best part right?" She smiled.
"Sure" he said, turning back to her. "Well you-" he stopped and she wasn't sure what the look on his face meant. He stopped for so long it became awkward.
"I what?" She feigned ignorance, watching a blush run up his neck.
"You look beautiful" he said. She couldn't stop the look of surprise on her face, having expected a compliment but not quite such a candid one.
"Oh right… thanks" suddenly self conscious again, she glanced down at herself for a moment before looking back at him. He seemed surprised too, almost irritated. She cast her mind back to how they used to flirt and tease each other, before he knew about her past, before the fire. She struggled to call it flirting at the time, unsure that they shared the same intentions. But compared to this awkward display, those times were blazing passion.
"Don't look at me like that. You always do… you always look-" he started confidently, but it quickly fell away. She was even more surprised now.
"That's… very sweet" she managed to reply. A car horn interrupted the agonising atmosphere. "That's me" she said.
"Have a good night" he nodded, running his eyes over her once again and quickly retreating. Rachel headed back to the kitchen for her handbag allowing a smile to cross her features. It didn't mean much, but at least she wasn't totally crazy, at least she knew the spark wasn't just felt by her. She headed back to the front door, glancing at her coat then deciding to go without it.
