A/N: Well, it's ready, so I might as well publish it! This early update is my way of thanking you all for bearing with my erratic update schedule. Things should settle down into a more regular timeframe, and I'll try to note if that might change or I think the next chapter will take longer to get out. Again, your reviews mean the world to me - it's great to hear what you think about each chapter, where you think the story is going, and really importantly - if you think I'm doing a good job with the depiction of these great characters. So, please review!
V. The Teen Witch Snogging Scale
"The true competitors though, are the ones who always play to win."
– Tom Brady
"How is he?" James queried irritably. His third Chaser, fourth-year Lucy Doherty, had just told him that his Seeker - Alistair Thomson - had run afoul of a Ravenclaw ambush.
"He'll be fine. The hex only glanced him," she replied.
"Good. Can he practice tomorrow night?"
"Unless he gets himself cursed again I don't see why not."
James grunted in approval.
"Oh, Doherty?" James
"Yeah?"
"Don't go–"
"Anywhere alone. I know the drill Captain."
He nodded. There was no love lost between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw when it came to Quidditch. Any chance of an uneasy truce the likes of which James had negotiated with Hufflepuff before their last match was slim, especially after Sirius' involvement in the break up between the Ravenclaw Captain and his girlfriend.
If only Sirius had just kept his pants on.
"You've got to be kidding me!" James exclaimed. "No fucking way!"
"Shut up Prongs, what's the bloody problem?"
"This," he replied, thrusting a magazine at Sirius, "is my problem!"
Sirius took the magazine and glanced over the cover.
"Teen Witch? Really, Prongs?"
"Page 53," growled James.
Sirius flipped through the magazine to the mentioned page, and suddenly choked on his toast.
Peter peered over his shoulder, and began to laugh uproariously.
Recovering from his sudden bout with his breakfast, Sirius smirked delightedly as he cleared his throat and began to read aloud.
"The most eligible young bachelors in Wizarding Britain…James Potter. Where to begin with the one and only heir to the Potter name and fortune? Handsome, windswept, and altogether excellent, James is well-versed in high society."
"Altogether excellent?" Remus sniggered. Other Gryffindor students had noticed the commotion, and had begun to gather as Sirius continued to read.
"A welcome and regular guest at the many functions and parties of the great houses, James always dresses to impress-"
Sirius held up the magazine to show a picture of James in dress robes at a Ministry event. Remus let out a wolf-whistle as the group of students laughed.
James put his head in his hands.
"- and ladies, impress is what he does! Just look at him…"
"Also worthy of note is his ability on the Quidditch Pitch. Currently Captain of the esteemed Gryffindor House Team, James' name has been linked with no less than three Quidditch sides, including the Montrose Magpies, a team in fact owned by his family."
Remus snatched the magazine from Sirius and began to read the next excerpt.
"So, how to get your hands on James Potter? One anonymous source suggests that James has a thing for girls with red hair, but don't let this put you off. Teen Witch suggests a sexy, confident air will grab his attention, whilst ready banter and a sharp wit will snare him in conversation. James is known for making jokes, so don't forget to laugh! Finally, we're told he also has quite the weakness for Honeydukes Finest Chocolate Fudge."
"Top tip: A knowledge of Quidditch can only help, but remember, he might not want to talk about it all evening."
"We rate James a nine on the official Teen Witch Snogging Scale, but wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a perfect ten."
"How do they even know I like fudge?" James asked plaintively.
"Make way! Make way! Highly eligible wizard coming through!" Sirius yelled as the Marauders made their way to Transfiguration.
"Would you cut this shite already?" James scowled, pushing past a throng of second and third years.
"Make way! Recently the subject of his very own Teen Witch article, make way for Gryffindor Captain, James Potter!" Peter added.
James shot him a disgusted glare.
"I swear to Merlin, if people don't stop bringing this up…"
"Watch out girls, James does get moody sometimes," quipped Remus.
"But the key to overcoming his ill-tempered ways is a good blow–" announced Peter loudly.
"Fuck off!" James replied, stalking off down the corridor.
"What's his problem?" Lily asked Remus as James left the Transfiguration classroom in a huff.
"You didn't see at breakfast?" Remus replied.
"See what?"
"We're just, so proud," interjected Sirius.
"James was named as one of our most eligible bachelors by Teen Witch magazine," Remus answered.
"So proud," Sirius added.
Lily let out a hearty laugh.
"I bet he's livid," she said.
"Incensed," Remus agreed. "It's such a silly thing for him to be upset over, and he knows it is, which is making him all the more pissed off."
"What did it say? Not that I read that drivel, I mean–"
"I literally saw you borrow one from Marley after dinner last week," Peter said flatly.
"I was just flicking through it!"
"Uh huh."
"Another ten minutes of practice, and that'll be all for today," Professor Flitwick announced. "Observe what your partner is doing, and offer constructive feedback as appropriate."
"That was an altogether excellent bit of spell work, Padfoot."
"You're too kind, Moony. Might I compliment you on how windswept you look this morning?"
James turned around and made a variety of obscene gestures in the direction of his sniggering mates.
"Ignore them," Peter advised. "Give the incantation a few more goes."
"Thanks," James replied dryly. Raising his wand, he moved it in a swift motion, and the pitcher of pumpkin juice sitting on his desk rose into the air, and poured its contents into a glass.
"Thoughts?"
"Nine, maybe even a perfect ten," Peter deadpanned.
"Fuck you, Wormtail."
Lily clambered through the Portrait Hole and immediately starting laughing.
"This is too much."
The Marauders had eased up on James as the day had worn on, but his respite had only been temporary. In the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room sat an entire Honeydukes carton of their Finest Chocolate Fudge. Remus and Peter were busy affixing a bright red ribbon to the display.
"Has he seen this?" she asked.
"Nah, he's at Quidditch with Sirius," Peter said. "Should be back soon though."
"How'd you get your hands on all this?" Lily said, gesturing towards the massive carton. "It's taller than I am!"
"Can't tell you," Remus replied.
"Another trade secret?"
"Yep," Remus grinned.
"Fuck, they're on the way!" Peter exclaimed, stuffing a piece of folded parchment into his back pocket.
"EVERYONE TRY TO ACT NORMAL!" Remus announced, magically amplifying his voice.
A few moments later, the portrait hole opened to reveal Sirius.
"Ladies and gentlemen of Gryffindor House, please put your hands together for the altogether excellent James Potter!"
The room burst into noisy cheering as James entered. He gave Sirius a dark look, then noticed the huge array of Chocolate Fudge sitting in the Common Room.
"I am going to murder you," he said between gritted teeth.
"Alright. Ravenclaw are a different pack of bastards from Hufflepuff. Their Chasers are experienced, and they've given us shite before. A close loss to Slytherin means they've still got plenty to play for. If they beat us they'll go first on points difference."
James looked around at his team.
"Let's do this."
"Ladies and gentlemen, students, teachers - it's a fine morning for Quidditch at Hogwarts. Fresh off their victory against Hufflepuff, Gryffindor take on Ravenclaw, who hope to bounce back from an agonising defeat to Slytherin House! Let's welcome the teams! Recently featured on Teen Witch's Snogging Scale, it's Captain James Potter, and GRYFFINDOR!"
Mounting his broom, James ignored his sniggering teammates, and shot into the stadium. The faces below became a blur as he set a blistering lap around the pitch.
Up here, there were no more distractions.
Only a singular focus.
"…it's RAVENCLAW!"
Sitting with Nicholas, Lily watched from the stands as Professor Hawthorne called in the two Captains, who shook hands in what looked like an effort to break each other's fingers.
"Thoughts?" she asked.
"It won't be pretty," Nicholas ventured.
On the pitch, James drew his team together in the huddle.
"Stick to the game plan. Frustrate their attack, fuck with their formations. We dictate the pace and flow of the game. I'll play call offence, Sirius will look after defence. Got it?"
The Gryffindor team answered in the affirmative.
"Right," James replied. "As per usual, let's fuck 'em up. Gryffindor!"
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Hawthorne blew his whistle, and tossed the Quaffle into the air as the crowd roared. A Ravenclaw Chaser was first to the ball, and raced down the left side of the pitch with Marlene in pursuit. The Ravenclaw Chaser veered into the area just as a well-aimed Bludger from Sirius smashed into her face. Reeling from the impact, she dovetailed to the ground as the Gryffindor spectators cheered.
"White is on the floor as Black delivers a Bludger at close range! That's a brutal hit from the Beater! I don't know if she can continue - she's struggling to get up. And there goes her breakfast!"
Down on the sand, White threw up violently. Hawthorne delivered two short blasts of the whistle, pausing play. As the Ravenclaw team descended around their teammate, James motioned the Gryffindor team to him.
"Perfect hit, let's see some more of it."
"We're barely a minute in and White…she's motioned, she wants out! White is officially unable to continue! Ravenclaw loses their best wing Chaser to injury. Hawthorne is calling the Captains over."
The Ravenclaw Captain dismounted and stormed directly over to James.
"Black is fucking out of control, Potter!" he shouted, standing over the Gryffindor Captain. "That was blatant! Get your dog in order!"
"You need your eyes checked, Blakely, and so does your Chaser," James retorted. "What the fuck are you doing putting her on your team if she can't handle a hit?"
"Boys! Boys!" Hawthorne said, raising his voice. "Enough!"
"Tensions are clearly running high here folks!"
Hawthorne turned to Blakely.
"It's a legal hit. She was fairly blindsided. No foul."
Blakely cursed under his breath.
"Make a substitution," Hawthorne continued. "Ravenclaw relinquished the Quaffle on the ground, the ball is Gryffindor's from the whistle."
Hawthorne handed James the Quaffle and those in the Gryffindor stands cheered.
"The Quaffle is Gryffindor's. Potter with the ball."
The piercing whistle rang out across the pitch once again, and play resumed, with James streaking through the Ravenclaw defence.
"Potter goes right through, he's into the area, he's heading left, draws the Keeper, he scores! Flicks it back to the centre hoop! Ten-nil, Gryffindor!"
They were ahead by one hundred and twenty points within thirty minutes of play.
"It's a mystery to how he does it, but that offload is nothing short of spectacular! Potter sucks in two defending Chasers, sends the Quaffle to Doherty, and she scores, simple as that. This is no doubt one of the finest offensive displays Hogwarts has seen in years!"
"This is embarrassing," Nicholas remarked casually.
"They could still catch the Snitch."
As if on cue, Alistair Thomson, the Gryffindor Seeker, dropped into a sharp dive, with his Ravenclaw counterpart on his tail.
A collective gasp went up from the crowd as the Seekers shot through the pack of jostling Chasers in pursuit of the Snitch. The Ravenclaw Seeker had accelerated out of the pack, and was half a broom ahead of Thomson.
Suddenly, a Bludger streaked in front both players, forcing them to swerve away to avoid a hit. Quaffle in hand, James rushed towards the Ravenclaw Seeker and threw the ball at him, hitting the hapless Ravenclaw player square in the face.
"Potter's a bloody menace," Nicholas said.
"Potter with an obvious foul, but he's playing strategy here. The Snitch is out of sight, and Potter will bank on his Keeper making a save - which he does! Ravenclaw still only have thirty on the board!"
An hour later, the Snitch had not been seen again, and Gryffindor's Chasers showed no signs of slowing down.
"Potter seems to be taking his recent frustrations with a Teen Witch article about him out on the Ravenclaw side. He's setting a blistering pace here. Passes to Doherty, to McKinnon - back to Doherty, to Potter! Potter feints - now back to McKinnon, who scores!"
James pumped his fist in the air as the Gryffindor Chasers circled back around to their end. Blood was trickling from a cut above his brow, and his left elbow was aching from a particularly vengeful Bludger, but he wouldn't trade the roar of appreciation from the Gryffindor crowd for anything.
"This isn't Quidditch anymore, this is a schooling the likes of which Ravenclaw won't forget in a long time!"
Moments later, James intercepted a Ravenclaw pass, tipping the Quaffle to his grasp and tucking it under his arm. He swerved to avoid a close Bludger, but it collided with his ankle, sending him into a tailspin.
"Potter's spinning, fighting to get control - shoots the Quaffle to Doherty! She's dropping low down the side, coming on approach. McKinnon delivers a beautiful block, and Potter's back in support! Doherty lays it up for Potter, and he sends it home!"
The Gryffindor Chasers celebrated with a lap of the pitch as their fans yelled themselves hoarse.
"That's another Potter score! What a recovery! You've got to have some sympathy for Ravenclaw. They're trying everything but this defensive effort from the Gryffindor Beaters is superb. And the Chasers are putting the Quaffle through the hoops at will. Meeks will surely be challenged for the Ravenclaw Keeper's spot next season."
Exhausted and bloody, Ravenclaw's maligned Chasers retrieved the Quaffle, and renewed formation, with their Beaters flying in support. Sirius motioned, and the Gryffindor side took on a defensive stance. Blakely navigated his broom through Marlene's tackle, and Lucy approached him to intercept. With a sickening crunch, Ravenclaw's Crosby crashed into Lucy, his Beater's bat colliding with her face.
"That's a blatant collision in the air! Doherty looks in a bad way, she's…she's off her broom! I don't think she's conscious…Merlin!"
Later, some would say that the stunt was worthy of Wronski himself. Others would say that James Potter was simply out of his mind.
With his broom locked into a his broom in a treacherous dive, James shot towards his falling teammate, his eyes never leaving Lucy as she plummeted towards the ground.
Fingers outstretched, James Potter grabbed a handful of her robes, and levelled his broom, pulling out of the dive, merely inches from the ground.
A fresh roar went up from the spectators as James careened to a halt, crashing to the sand.
"I've never seen anything like it. Merlin, what a dive!"
Blood was streaming from Lucy's broken nose as Hawthorne's whistle cut through the air. Ominous bruising was beginning to appear as James carefully laid her on the ground.
"Easy, Potter. Stand back," Hawthorne said, rushing over with Madam Pomfrey in tow. "Let's get a look at her."
"There's no way Doherty can continue. She's receiving medical attention, and Potter looks livid! He's locked in a shouting match with Blakely, and Black throws a punch at Crosby! This is an appalling display."
"ENOUGH!" Hawthorne roared. "Captains! Here, now!"
James and his opponent approached the Professor with bitter expressions.
"Control your players!" he barked. "Any more of this and I'll void your wins. Crosby and Black are facing a two-week pitch ban if either of them so much as look at me funny!"
"Yes sir."
"Sorry Professor."
The game resumed, and some ten minutes later, Gryffindor caught the Snitch to tumultuous applause.
"440 points to 80! Gryffindor destroy Ravenclaw in a display that ends any hope of Ravenclaw claiming the Cup and puts the Gryffindor team as firm favourites to take it out yet again!"
Gryffindor's supporters swarmed onto the pitch as their team touched to ground. Lily made her way through the crowd to Marlene.
"Marley! You were brilliant!" she said, grabbing her friend in a congratulatory hug.
"Thanks Lil-"
Marlene was cut off by James hoisting her into the air and twirling her around in celebration.
"Marley McKinnon, I could kiss you!"
"Put me down you bloody oaf!"
He obliged, and caught sight of Lily.
"What'd you think of me out there, Evans?" he said, a gloved hand brushing through his mop of hair.
"You flew well."
"You're too kind," James quipped, noticing Nicholas standing next to Lily.
"Wright."
"Potter. Congratulations on the win."
James hawked and spat blood.
"Lovely," Lily commented.
"Hope your boys are ready, Wright," James said, smirking. "This was just a warm-up."
Nicholas' response was cut off by Sirius breaking through a throng of admirers and throwing himself at James.
"PRONGS!"
"PADFOOT!" James yelled.
"Four hundred fucking points!" Sirius crowed.
"Ravenclaw can suck my–"
"MOONY!" Sirius shouted, spotting Remus.
"Just lovely," Lily said dryly.
"Here, drink up," Pomfrey instructed.
James took the cup from her, and gulped down its contents.
"Your foot is going to ache for a couple of days. Don't run or put too much weight on it."
"I won't. How's Lucy?"
"Miss Doherty will be fine," Pomfrey replied. "Alright, you're free to go."
James made his way back to Gryffindor Tower, walking gingerly. Rounding a corner, he nearly collided with Lily.
"Potter!"
"Evans," James grinned. "Headed back to the Tower?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Likewise."
"This is a coincidence," she observed.
"Or it's becoming a habit," James replied.
"Still drugged up to your eyeballs on potion?"
"You know it," he smirked.
"And you're going to drink?"
James rotated his shoulder and grimaced.
"Whatever takes the edge off."
"You know, the Practicing Potioneers Association says that drinking alcohol after taking medicinal potions can have some really awful side effects."
"Funny, the Quidditch Association says the same thing about playing Quidditch."
"You're an alcoholic."
"Only on Saturdays. And Fridays," James mused. "Come to think of it, most Thursdays too."
"You finished?" she replied.
"So, you and Wright?"
Lily rolled her eyes.
"We tutor Charms together."
"That's not the only thing he'd like you to do together."
"Bugger off, Potter."
"His Dad's a bit of a prick," he replied.
"I don't care about his father. It's not him I'm dating."
"Oh, you're dating?"
"As of about an hour ago, yes."
"Congratulations," he said flatly as they reached the Fat Lady and paused.
"Well, Potter, it's been lovely."
He gestured at the portrait. "After you."
"Omaha," Lily recited, and the portrait swung open.
James followed Lily into the Common Room, and was greeted with a fresh round of cheers as his Housemates noticed his arrival. Sirius thrust a shotglass into his hand, and James quickly tipped it back.
Lily looked back at him as she walked away, meeting his eyes for a moment with an indeterminable expression. Then, she turned and disappeared into the crowd. James shook his head slightly, and handed the glass back to Sirius.
"Another."
They say disaster strikes at midnight, but it well past twelve when Professor McGonagall clambered through the Portrait Hole into the Common Room, her face pale with worry.
Either she did not see, or simply chose to ignore the students who scurried to hide the liquor they were drinking, and called out as the room quietened to a hush.
"Is James Potter here? Mr. Potter?"
James pushed his way to the front of the assembled students.
"Yes, Professor?" he replied, frowning.
"I'm very sorry, Mr Potter."
She handed him a folded sheet of parchment. James scanned through it, and his face went white. A nondescript bottle fell from James' shaking hand and shattered amidst the deadly silence of the Gryffindor Common Room.
"The Headmaster wishes to see you, and Mr Black, immediately."
McGonagall looked around the room and across a sea of confused faces.
"Hurry now. The rest of you, to bed!"
Years afterwards, James would say that he remembered the walk from Gryffindor Tower to Dumbledore's office as the longest five minutes of his life.
He and Sirius followed a silent McGonagall down the corridors, the castle quiet save for their footsteps. They arrived at the stone gargoyle after what seemed like an eternity. Uttering the password, McGonagall ushered them up the spiral stairs and into the office.
Again, Dumbledore sat behind his desk. Two men in Ministry robes stood nearby in quiet conversation. And garbed in a suit and an Auror Greatcloak, with his hands clasped behind his back as he stood alone - James' father.
"Dad?" James asked, puzzled. "Who's hurt? The letter didn't say–"
Nathaniel Potter looked at his son with a bleak expression on his features.
"I'm sorry, son. Your aunt Elda and your cousins are dead."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the read. Next chapter soon!
