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Chapter 7: Turnabout Samurai Part 2

October 18, 10:00 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 4

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Alright, everyone shut the hell up." Nora said.

Judge: The court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Will Powers.

Edgeworth: The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.

"Hi sexy!". Ren was silent. He noticed her staring at him.

"... What?" he said.

"Why aren't you playing along?"

"Playing along?"

"Yeah! It's not fun when you don't."

"Okay, next time I will."

'This will be interesting.' Jaune thought.

Phoenix: The defense is ready, Your Honor.

Judge: Very well. Mr. Edgeworth, your opening statement, please.

Edgeworth: The prosecution will show the court that at 2:30 PM on October 15, the defendant, Mr. Will Powers, killed fellow actor Jack Hammer at Studio One of Global Studios. It is impossible for anyone else to have committed this heinous crime. The evidence presented during the trial will all point to this fact.

Judge: Hmm. I see. Very well, I would like to move on to your testimony. Mr. Edgeworth, the prosecution may call its first witness.

Edgeworth: First, I would like to call a familiar face, Detective Gumshoe, to the stand.

(The detective is on the stand.)

Edgeworth: Detective, if you would briefly describe this case to the court?

Gumshoe: Yes sir! I'll explain with the guidemap here. To understand this case, it's important to grasp the layout of the studios, see? This here is the Employee Area. The actors did a run-through of their action scenes during the morning here. This is the main gate to the studios. The security lady that works at the studios was here at 1:00 PM on that day. Past the security station there is a gate, see? Past that are the studios. And here it is... Studio One. This is the scene of the murder, where the body was found! Now, on the day of the murder, October 15, there were only three people here. The victim, Jack Hammer, the defendant, Will Powers, and a young woman, the production assistant. All the production staff were in the Employee Area until noon. Then after lunch, the victim, Jack Hammer, went to Studio One. Right after that, at 1:00 PM, the security lady got to the guard station. Now, jump ahead to later that day... 5:00 PM. The production staff came to Studio One to perform a rehearsal. Needless to say, the rehearsal was cancelled... The time of death was 2:30 PM. The "Samurai Spear" found lodged in the victim's chest was the murder weapon. That's the case, in brief. Anyone like to hear that again?

Phoenix: (Hmm... should I listen to that whole thing again...?)

[Skip it]

[Listen again]

"No, I'm fine." Blake said.

"I actually didn't-..." Ruby said.

(Picks Skip it)

"Okay, nevermind..."

Phoenix: (I think I can probably remember that...)

Judge: So the murder weapon was a "spear"? How... medieval!

"Medieval?" Weiss said.

"Ah, yes. Those were the good days. I remember them like it was yesterday." Nora said. Some of them started laughing.

"He's that old!" Yang said while laughing.

(Samurai Spear added to the Court Record.)

[Samurai Spear: This spear was found stuck in the chest of the victim.]

Edgeworth: Your Honor. This case is quite simple if you ask one question: (points) And that question is: "What did the security lady at the guard station see?"

Judge: Understood.

Edgeworth: Let's call this security officer to the stand!

(Oldbag is on the stand)

Edgeworth: Will the witness declare her name?

Oldbag: ... Hmm?

"Oh no..." Jaune said.

"Eww, why is her flustered face gross?" Yang said.

"I prefer her angry face." Ruby said.

Oldbag: My, aren't you a handsome fellow! I'm afraid I'm a bit flustered!

"I don't like this..." Ren said.

(Edgeworth gets caught off-guard.)

Everyone starts laughing.

Edgeworth: Y-your name, please!

Oldbag: Oh, dearie! No need for you to be embarrassed! Just call me "grandma."

"Please stop."

"What's wrong, sonny? Want a kiss from grandma?" Yang said.

Edgeworth: YOUR NAME, PLEASE!

Phoenix: (Seems Edgeworth has a bit of trouble getting his witnesses to say their names...)

Oldbag: Wendy Oldbag, dearie. So just call me "grandma." It's practically my name! So even when I was young I was an Oldbag, but not really that was just my name dearie. Still how the other children would make fun of me and just because of my name can you believe it? But there was this boy, the captain of the chess club in junior high, and when he called me an old bag well I just cried and cried because I had a crush on him you see-

Edgeworth: OBJECTION!

"Did he just object to his witness?" Blake said while laughing.

Edgeworth: (pounds his desk) O-objection! I... object to the witness's talkativeness.

"Sustained. Witness, shut the fuck up." Nora said.

Judge: Objection sustained! The witness will refrain from rambling on the stand.

They laughed even louder.

"I love the judge."

Oldbag: I was just getting to the good part, dearie!

Edgeworth: Perhaps we can get to the testimony?

Judge: Now, the witness was stationed at the main gate on the day of the murder, correct?

Oldbag: Yessey I was.

Judge: And to get to the scene of the murder, someone would have to pass by you?

Oldbag: You know your stuff, dearie!

Judge: ... You may begin your testimony.

Phoenix: (She sure is one hell of an Oldbag...)

Jaune started laughing so much he started coughing.

"Why did that make me laugh so hard?!" he said.

Witness Testimony

- Witness's Account -

Oldbag: On the day of the murder, I arrived at the guard station at 1:00 PM.

Poor old Hammer and the rest had been doing a run-through there since the morning.

I, well, I had some errands to run that morning.

Anyway, it was 1:00 when I got to the guard station.

I was at the main gate from then until 5:00!

Now, the murder happened at 2:30 PM, right?

Interesting to me, because a certain man walked right by me at 2:00 PM.

It was Powers! That man right there, and he was heading toward the studio!

Judge: You saw the defendant, then? Hmm... Very well. Let's begin the cross-examination. Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor.

Cross Examination

- Witness's Account -

"There it is. Your first cross-examination." Ruby said.

"I know. I can present the evidence now, but I also want to press." Blake said.

(Presses statement 1)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! So up until that time, anyone who wanted to could go into the studio?

Oldbag: Well, there wasn't a security guard at the gate, no. But the main gate was locked, dearie. You'd need an employee cardkey to get in.

Phoenix: (Right... the cardkey that I have. So, what she's saying is no one who wasn't supposed to be there could get in.)

Edgeworth: Was there anyone at the studios when you arrived at the guard station?

"Can't you just present the photo already?" Weiss said.

"Excuse me, was anyone telling you what to do when you were playing?" Blake said.

"... YES!"

"This one looks worth pressing." Yang said.

(Presses statement 3)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! What kind of "errands"?

Oldbag: Oh, well, you know.

"No, I don't." Jaune said.

Phoenix: (slams) Answer the question!

Oldbag: Actually... I was watching poor Hammer and Powers. Observing, you know?

"I was observing the sexy man beating up the big lion man. God, that was hot." Nora said.

"I would confuse him for a lion faunus."

"Wait, he's not one?" Ruby said.

"Ruby, apparently faunus don't exist in this." Pyrrha said.

"What?! Really?!"

"It's the third case and you notice it now?" Weiss said.

"It is strange though." Yang said.

"And a bit upsetting." Blake said.

Phoenix: O-observing? Weren't you supposed to be at the guard station?

Oldbag: Whippersnapper! I told you I locked the gate, didn't I? I did my job!

Phoenix: (I'm not sure your boss would see it that way...)

Oldbag: Anyway! I always watch Hammer's run-throughts. Always! Never missed one in all my years.

Maya: Wow! I want to see a Steel Samurai run-through too!

Phoenix: You could quit being a spirit medium and take up guard duty.

Maya: Not a bad idea...

"Who needs communing with the dead? Free entertainment!" Yang said.

(Presses statement 5)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! So you were watching there the WHOLE time? No breaks? Not even a second?

Oldbag: O-of course! I am a professional, you know! Our are you criticizing how I do my job!? Whippersnapper!

Phoenix: No, it's just, after seeing you eating those donuts in the guard station yesterday...

"After seeing you gobbling them down like an animal."

"I could hear you from the crime scene." Jaune said.

Oldbag: I can watch the gate and eat donuts at the same time! Snipperwhapper!

Maya: "Snipperwhapper"...? Old windbag is losing it, Nick.

Phoenix: Why don't you raise an objection?

Judge: So, the witness was on duty through the afternoon, the whole time. Very well. What did you see?

"This is getting nowhere, I'll present the photo now." Blake said.

"Now you realise it?" Weiss said.

(Presents Powers's(?) Photo on statement 8)

Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams) Let me get this straight, old bag! Er, Ms. Oldbag!

"Just call her Wendy." Yang said.

Phoenix: (points) You've been saying since yesterday that you "saw Mr. Powers," correct? But you're talking about the man in this photo, aren't you!

Judge: J-just a moment, Mr. Wright. Let me see that photo! ... What is this, exactly?

Phoenix: None other than the Steel Samurai, defender of Neo Olde Tokyo. (slams) Ms. Oldbag! (points) Is this the "Mr. Powers" that you saw!?

Oldbag: Of course! Didn't your momma teach you any sense, sonny? Anyone can plainly see that's Powers! Right?

"... No!" Weiss said.

Edgeworth: Um, yeah. ... Umm... well. I wonder?

"Even Edgeworth is doubting her." Pyrrha said.

Phoenix: True, Mr. Powers does play the role of the Steel Samurai! (slams) But (points) that doesn't mean Mr. Powers IS the Steel Samurai!

Oldbag: ...!

"Eeee!" Nora said.

"She has a big mouth." Ruby said.

Oldbag: I... I know that! I wasn't born yesterday!

"We can see that." Blake said.

"You're as ancient as I!" Nora said.

Judge: No one in this court is accusing you of that, Ms... er, witness.

Phoenix: (He's having trouble calling her "Oldbag" apparently...)

Judge: However, you do not have proof that the person in this photo is Mr. Will Powers, do you?

Oldbag: Humph! Nosy old man! Of course I have proof!

"She has evidence?" Ruby said.

"Who're you calling old man, you rotting old bitch?!"

Phoenix: What!?

Edgeworth: Huh!?

"Even he is surprised?" Pyrrha said.

Phoenix: (Even Edgeworth is surprised!?)

Edgeworth: The prosecution would like to ask the old... the witness. Please make known all the information in your possession ahead of time!

Oldbag: How was I to know everyone would be so nosy! You should be ashamed, all of you! Anyway, I showed that photo to the young detective. He told me "this isn't any good as evidence, pal." He didn't even give it a second look!

Edgeworth: ...

"Why do I still keep him?" Ren said. "... I'm sorry, I just can't do it."

"No, it was fine!" Nora said.

"It was?"

"Yeah, it was okay."

Phoenix: (Wow, old windbag has left even Edgeworth speechless. She's good!)

"Just speechless? She just embarrassed him!" Weiss said.

"I smell salary cuts." Yang said.

Judge: Let's hear about your proof, then.

Witness Testimony

- The Man in the Photo -

Oldbag: I never say anything I don't mean, mind you!

That morning, during the run-through of the action scene...

I saw Powers trip and fall!

He broke one of the props, it was a big mess.

Apparently, he sprained his ankle pretty bad.

Now, look at that picture!

You can see he's dragging his leg! See? Clear as day!

That's how I knew it was Powers. Happy?

"That does hurt our case." Blake said.

"How will you turn the case around?" Jaune said.

Judge: Hmm. So he had sprained his ankle...? Very well. Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness.

Phoenix: (She's got to be hiding something... I'll press her until she squeals.)

"I'll squeeze the truth out of your soon-to-die body!" Yang said.

Cross Examination

- The Man in the Photo -

"I don't think there's a contradiction." Pyrrha said.

"I know. I'll just press everything." Blake said.

(Presses statement 1)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! Umm...

Oldbag: Whippersnapper!

Phoenix: (Hey, I haven't said anything yet!)

Some couldn't help it but laugh a little.

Oldbag: I'll have you know I'm not pointing fingers at anyone behind their backs! Everything I've said is on the straight and narrow! The up and up! Youth today! Always whining about each other, pointing fingers this way and that! It's enough to make an old lady want to cry...

Edgeworth: (slams) (points) Mr. Wright! Please, for all our sakes, try not to upset the witness!

"For the love of god, please... DON'T make her talk!" Yang said.

"I'll give you a penalty if you do." Ren said.

"Don't make this game actually difficult." Jaune said.

Phoenix: (I think Edgeworth has met his match...)

(Presses statement 2)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! Who was present at the run-through?

Oldbag: Well, let's see... There was Powers, he's the Steel Samurai... Then poor old Hammer, the Evil Magistrate. And... me.

Judge: And what exactly were you doing?

Oldbag: Observing! Just... observing.

Phoenix: What about the assistant?

Oldbag: Oh, she was off moving backdrops around and such.

Phoenix: (So she didn't see the run-through, then...)

(Presses statement 3)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! "Trip and fall"...?

Oldbag: Yes! And to think, he's supposed to be the Steel Samurai! What a laugh! So Powers sprained his ankle. I helped make it better for him, of course.

Judge: You... helped make it better?

Oldbag: I kissed it where it hurt.

"That's gross." Ruby said.

"I removed his shoes and sucked his hairy toes!" Yang said and started laughing.

"Yang!" Ruby said.

"What?"

"Don't continue this joke." Blake said.

"I think I'll throw up..." Weiss said.

"Then I put his big, hairy, crinkly feet on my face to sniff them!" Nora said.

"STOP!". Yang laughed even more.

"Why did you have to continue the joke?!" Jaune said.

"Now I'll throw up! Why crinkly though?" Yang said.

"Because it's funny." Nora said.

"Foot fetish is not funny!" Weiss said.

"Can we please continue the game?" Pyrrha said.

Judge: L-let's just skip over that part, shall we?

Phoenix: Where was the assistant then?

Oldbag: Oh, her? She was cleaning up backdrops, I think. She didn't know about Powers's ankle.

Phoenix: (Hmm...)

Edgeworth: You may continue your testimony.

"What is he thinking about?" Ruby said.

"Probably that the assistant didn't-" Blake said.

"About his big, crinkly feet." Yang said.

"Stop!"

"I'm sorry! I just lost it at crinkly!" she said while laughing.

"Does the assistant have a name?" Jaune said.

"I think it was Penny." Pyrrha said.

"Did she say her name?"

"I... I don't remember if she did."

(Presses statement 4)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! He broke a prop?

Oldbag: Sure did! His own Samurai Spear.

Phoenix: (His Samurai Spear... the murder weapon!?)

Oldbag: Luckily I was there with my duct tape to fix it.

Phoenix: (This strikes me as a significant detail... I'd better write this down in the Court Record.)

(Samurai Spear updated in the Court Record.)

[Samurai Spear: The murder weapon. A break in the shaft has been mended with duct tape.]

Ruby was cringing so hard right now. And it was very visible.

"The ducktape?" Yang said.

"The ducktape... I mean, really?!" Ruby said.

"Why are you so upset? It's a prop used for a kid's show." Weiss said.

"That was also used to stab someone. Meaning that it's not just a prop, it's an actual weapon." Blake said.

"Wait... aren't their costumes thick?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, why?" Jaune said.

"Then, how... could someone stab through a thick costume with a broken spear?"

"..."

"Wait, so the spear is not the murder weapon?" Weiss said.

"That's what I'm saying."

"So, what was used to stab him?" Ruby said.

"The real murder weapon?" Yang said.

"Wow, really? No way." Weiss said sarcastically.

(Presses statement 5)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! Was Mr. Powers' ankle badly sprained?

Oldbag: Not so bad that he couldn't walk around. He went to his dressing room to rest up after lunch.

Phoenix: (Thus the nap...)

Oldbag: Anyway, I saw him dragging his foot when he walked.

Phoenix: (Dragging his foot... okay.)

"Oh, is he going to say that someone was dragging his leg to make people believe it was Powers?" Jaune said.

"That's where it's going." Blake said.

"So it's Oldbag." Yang said.

"No. Even if she had a motive, which she doesn't, she wouldn't be able to do it."

"So... it's another person we don't know?" Ruby said.

"Or the victim." Ren said.

Edgeworth: (slams) I think we've heard enough! Haven't we, Your Honor?

Judge: Well, there is one thing that bothers me.

"No, there isn't." Ren said. Some of them laughed a little.

"Yeah, you're right. You're getting better." Nora said.

"Thanks."

Edgeworth: Which is?

Judge: Where is this "Steel Samurai" costume now?

"That's a good question, where is the costume?" Yang said.

Edgeworth: Umm... hmm. Actually, well... We couldn't find it. We're looking, though.

Judge: Hmm...

Edgeworth: Anyway, that's not important! The witness did see the Steel Samurai, yes. (Shrugs and shakes his head) And it is clear that the person in the Steel Samurai suit was Mr. Will Powers!

Judge: Hmm... I suppose that's right.

Phoenix: (Are you sure you're sure, Your Honor?)

[Object]

[Wait and see what happens]

(Picks Object)

"Do you really need to ask?" Blake said.

Phoenix: (slams) Hold it right there! We keep talking possibilities, but we have to agree that this photo shows the Steel Samurai! (points) Nowhere in this photo can we see Mr. Will Powers!

Judge: Hmm... The defense has a point. I also wonder if someone else not caught on camera could have killed Mr. Hammer. We have to consider that possibility, also.

Edgeworth: (tsks and wags his finger)

"Tsk tsk, stupid fool." Yang said.

"You fricking idiot." Nora said.

"You absolute dumbass."

Edgeworth: Then allow me to remove that doubt from your mind, Your Honor... Will the witness continue her testimony, please?

Oldbag: No need to ask twice!

"Anything for you, sexy man!" Nora said.

"I take it back, step down." Ren said. Evryone laughed.

Witness Testimony

- Witness's Account, cont. -

Oldbag: The time of poor Hammer's death was 2:30 PM, true?

The only person I saw go to the studio before then was Will Powers!

No one else went there!

"Wrong, there was someone." Blake said.

"But how will you...? Oh, the photo!" Ruby said.

"You forgot that?" Weiss said.

If they had, I would have seen them!

Judge: Hmm... So, if no one else went to the studio... Then it would have to be this "Steel Samurai" who did it. Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness.

Cross Examination

- Witness's Account, cont. -

"Okay, I'm not going to bother with pressing." Blake said.

(Presents Powers's(?) Photo on statement 3)

Phoenix: OBJECTION!

"There we go."

Phoenix: (slams) Hold on! Look at this photograph one more time. This photo was taken by the camera at the gate for the studios, correct?

Oldbag: Yesiree, sonny.

Phoenix: So, whenever anyone passes by here, it automatically takes a picture?

Oldbag: And here I thought you didn't know your head from a hole in the ground.

"... What?" Yang said.

Phoenix: Right... Anyway! It's also true that the computer in the guard station records all security cam data.

Oldbag: Ooh! You know, if you wanted to work at the studio, we might have an opening.

Phoenix: That very computer printed out this photo. Note that on the back of the photo are printed the words: [Oct 15, 2:00 PM, Photo #2]

Oldbag: Even I know that means it was taken at 2:00 PM on October the 15th! Really, sonny!

Phoenix: Actually, I knew that too. (points) The issure here is the bit at the end where it says: "Photo #2"...

Oldbag: "Photo #2"...?

Phoenix: The computer only held data for one photo on that day. Don't you think that's odd? (slams) Shouldn't this photo be "Photo #1" if it really was the ONLY photo!?

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! Please tell the court what you mean by this, Mr. Wright!

Phoenix: Actually, that's what I want to ask the witness. This evidence shows that not one, but two people went to the studio that day. Yet there is only data for one of the photos! Who could have erased the data for the other photo? (slams) (points) Only someone with access... the security lady herself!

Oldbag: Eh!? You watch your mouth, whippersnapper! The only person I saw that day was Will Powers!

Phoenix: (slams) But the camera on the gate fired twice! That means two people went by!

Oldbag: Umm... well, yes... that's what it would seem to mean...

Judge: Can the witness explain this to the court?

Oldbag: Umm... ahem. I-I don't understand these new-fangled computer things... Umm... E-Edgey-boy! Help!

"Edgey-boy?" Pyrrha said.

"Edgey-poo~!" Nora said.

"I hate this..." Ren said.

Edgeworth: Huh!? (slams) B-believe me, I want to, but I don't know what this means either.

Oldbag: Humph! Some help you are! You're a whippersnapper too! ... ... Whippersnapper...?

Judge: Something the matter, Ms. Oldbag?

Oldbag: Ah! That's right! I... I just remembered something!

Judge: Let me guess... Someone else passed by the gate... someone other than the Steel Samurai?

Oldbag: Er... well, yes, I suppose you could put it that way.

Judge: *sigh* I see. Your testimony, please.

Witness Testimony

- The Other Person -

"We're finally going to meet the other person." Blake said.

Oldbag: Every day, after I finish my guard duties, I have one other important job to do.

I go through the photos recorded on the security computer and check them.

I throw out any photos that aren't suspicious lookin', you see.

Come to think of it, now I remember throwing out one photo that day!

Edgeworth: M-Ms. Oldbag! This is the first I've heard of this!

Oldbag: Well, of course, sonny! I've only just remembered it.

"Why can't I get normal witnesses?" Ren said.

"I do feel bad for Edgeworth." Ruby said.

"What about Phoenix? He's the one cross examining them." Jaune said.

Judge: Right... anyway, Mr. Wright, please begin the cross-examination.

Maya: Well, I'd say this was a turn for the unexpected, but I kind of expected this...

Cross Examination

- The Other Person -

(Presses statement 4)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! (slams) (points) Well, who in the heck was in that photo you erased!?

Some of them laughed a little.

"I don't know why I found that funny!" Pyrrha said.

"Fucking spit it out, Oldbag!" Yang said.

"I'll send you to the fucking sun if you don't speak!" Nora said.

"I'll banish you to the shadow realm if you don't tell the truth!" Jaune said.

Oldbag: Humph. A fanboy.

"A fanboy?" Weiss said.

"Maybe it was a kid?" Ruby said.

"That's not good." Blake said.

Phoenix: F-fanboy?

Oldbag: Steel Samurai fanboys. Real freaks, if you ask me. They get information about the rehearsals from gosh-knows-where. They're always hanging about. One was there that day.

Phoenix: OBJECTION! W-wait a second! Didn't you just say no one else could get in!? (points) "I locked the main gate so no one could get in"... Those were your words!

"That was a terrible impression." Nora said.

"I wasn't doing one." Jaune said.

Oldbag: Well! If you must know, there's a drain that goes into the Employee Area.

"It was a kid."

"We're fucked." Yang said.

Oldbag: The grate has been loose for a while. It leads outside, and well, that's where they come in.

Phoenix: They come in through the drain?

Oldbag: I told you they were freaks. Oh, and...

Phoenix: And...?

Oldbag: They're kids. Children. Whippersnappers.

Phoenix: K-kids!? So, on the photo that you erased...?

Oldbag: It was a boy. Probably 2nd or 3rd grade.

Phoenix: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!?

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: O-order! Order! Let me get this straight. You saw two people pass by the gate on their way to the studios that day? One was the Steel Samurai, dragging his leg. The other was a boy who looked to be in about 2nd or 3rd grade?

Oldbag: Oh yes, well we see his type there every day. Can't stop 'em. Can't catch 'em.

Edgeworth: A boy in 2nd or 3rd grade? Hmm... I assume it would be hard, if not impossible for a young boy to wield the Samurai Spear?

Judge: Impossible, I'd think. It's quite heavy.

Oldbag: Right! As I said, I didn't pay him much mind. That's why I erased the data.

Maya: Um, Nick? What's going on? I mean, the boy was there, that makes him a suspect!

"The boy is a witness at worst." Blake said.

Phoenix: Yeah, and they're already trying to "un-suspect" him.

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: I'd like to take a five minute recess. I want the defense and the prosecution to consider this new information... And no forgetting vital information this time!

"Now excuse me, I shall go play at the monkey bars." Nora said. Some of them laughed.

"Monkey bars?" Pyrrha said.

"That's where he goes when he's on recess."

"I can see him being in a park, on the slide going 'Weeee!'!" Yang said while laughing.

October 18, 11:08 AM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 3

Phoenix: Mr. WP?

Will: Y-yes?

"What the fuck, dude?!" Jaune said and most of them laughed.

"I was about to say that!" Yang said.

Phoenix: Tell me straight: were you really in your dressing room? You didn't go to the studio?

Will: I-I didn't go to the studio! I was s-sleeping, honest.

Maya: So who was the "Steel Samurai" in that security photo?

Will: How should I know? The Steel Samurai costume was off in the corner of the dressing room. Anyone could have walked in and taken it, really.

Maya: What!? You should take better care of that stuff!

Will: I couldn't imagine anyone would want to steal a Steel Samurai costume! So... where does this leave me?

"In prison." Weiss said.

Phoenix: It doesn't look good...

Will: *sniff*

Phoenix: You're the only likely suspect, right now.

Maya: Nick! W-what are we going to do!?

Phoenix: First, we play for more time. We'll start targeting someone else that could conceivably have done this!

Maya: Right! And it'll take them so long to shoot us down that we can get another day!

Phoenix: Right... but if we pick the wrong person, we might lose on the spot.

"He goes back and says 'It was the little boy!'." Yang said.

"No, dumbass! I'll blow up your HP bar!" Nora said.

Will: You... don't sound very optimistic.

Phoenix: I'm not optimistic at all, actually.

Maya: Hey, Nick. It's time.

Phoenix: Okay. Let's go. *sigh*

Will: What does that mean... Please don't sigh like that! *sniff*

(We go back to the courtroom. There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: The court will now reconvene for the trial of Mr. Will Powers. Mr. Edgeworth, will you present the prosecution's thoughts on this matter?

Edgeworth: The prosecution's thoughts are simple. (shrugs and shakes his head) Nothing has changed. The other person who went to the studios was a boy of roughly 10 years of age. The photo we do have may not be hard evidence... (slams) But there is still no one else that could have committed this crime! I call for a verdict of "guilty" for the defendant, Mr. Will Powers!

Judge: Hmm... Very well. Mr. Wright, your thoughts?

Phoenix: The defense disagrees with the prosecution's claim. (slams) There IS another person who could have committed this crime!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Interesting... Let us hear who you have in mind! However... Be aware that this court does not look kindly on accusing the innocent. If you accuse someone who is obviously innocent, you will be penalized.

Phoenix: (Right. Great. As if the stakes weren't high enough.)

Judge: So, who was this person other than Mr. Powers that could have committed murder?

[The assistant girl]

[The grade-school boy]

[The security lady]

"So, it's definitely not the boy, it can't be the assistant..." Blake said.

"So we accuse Oldbag." Yang said.

"I guess."

(Picks The security lady)

Phoenix: (slams) (points) It was the security lady! Wendy Oldbag!

Oldbag: W-who!?

Phoenix: The Steel Samurai is dragging his leg in this picture. That means whoever was in the suit knew about that morning's injury. Maybe because... they had been watching the action scene run-through! There was only one person other than Powers and Hammer who knew about the injury. The security lady, Oldbag!

Oldbag: W-what!? Whippersnapper!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! I-is this true, Oldbag!?

Oldbag: Oldbag!? That's Ms. Oldbag to you!

"Ah, so now I'm younger than you!" Nora said.

"How old is she?" Ruby said.

(Checks Profiles)

"Question marks?!" Yang said and started laughing. "You know what, just write 'Very old', same energy."

Phoenix: Ms. Oldbag was standing guard alone at the main gate. (points) She was by herself... in other words, she has no alibi! She could have briefly left her post to steal the the Steel Samurai costume... (slams) Then slipped into Studio One, the scene of the murder!

Judge: W-why would she go through the trouble of wearing the Steel Samurai costume!?

Phoenix: Simple, Your Honor. She knew the camera at the gate would take her picture. If she was in his costume, she could point the finger at Mr. Powers!

Judge: I see! Excellent deductive reasoning, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: (Ohhh yeah, right here! Sherlock Holmes II, baby!)

"Doesn't he mean Herlock Sholmes?" Jaune said.

"Copyrights maybe?" Ruby said.

"Herlock Sholmes is public domain. For the most part..." Blake said.

Phoenix: ...? (That's odd. Isn't this the part where Edgeworth pounces...? Doesn't he usually jump up with an objection and some new damning evidence...?)

"I don't really like her." Yang said. Everyone started laughing.

"I don't really mind. Put her in jail." Ren said.

"I stopped caring when she started talking about crinkly feet. She can go die." Nora said. Yang started laughing.

"STOP IT!" Weiss said.

"I'm personally more into... dumb defense lawyers with blue suits and spiky hair..." Yang said.

"You ship them that hard?" Blake said.

"Oh, absolutely!"

Judge: Well, Mr. Edgeworth? Does the prosecution have an opinion on this matter?

Edgeworth: ... The prosecution has no meaningful objections at this time.

Oldbag: W-w-what!? What's that supposed to mean!? Oh, so you all think I did it? Is that it!? Edgey-boy! Don't just sit there, do something!

Phoenix: (What's my move? Maybe now's my chance to take this the whole way?)

[Press further]

[Give granny a break]

"Press." Yang said.

"We're terrible people." Ruby said.

"She asked for it!"

(Picks Press further)

Phoenix: (slams) The very same reasoning that makes Mr. Powers a suspect in this case... (points) can be used to cast doubt on Ms. Oldbag's actions on that day!

Oldbag: B-but why would I do something so horrible to poor Hammer!?

Phoenix: (shakes his head) You forget that Mr. Powers lacks a clear motive, too.

Judge: Hmm... Indeed.

Phoenix: (That did it. Now windbag is one of the suspects. No hard feelings... I hope.)

Oldbag: Wait just a minute! What about the other person who went to the studio!? The boy! The one whose photo I erased!

"He's accusing the boy now?!" Ruby said.

Judge: He's only a grade schooler though, as you said. 2nd or 3rd grade, was it?

Oldbag: Th-that doesn't matter! When I was that age, I could pin my old man in 10 seconds, tops!

"So she could've killed Hammer." Jaune said.

Judge: Hmm... Your thoughts, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: That boy is not the killer.

Oldbag: What!? How can you be so sure! Oh, or is it be nice to the kids and mean to your elders day? Whippersnapper!

Phoenix: I have proof.

Oldbag: P-proof!?

Judge: Indeed? Then let's see this proof, Mr. Wright. You have proof that shows the boy could not have committed this murder?

"What do we present now?" Yang said.

"Maybe the spear? The fact that he can't even lift it?" Ruby said.

"How about the photo? The person in the costume is taller than a little kid." Pyrrha said.

"I was going to but I think it's the cardkey. You need one to get in the studio." Blake said.

"He could've snatched it." Yang said.

"But we found it in the bag. It's the cardkey."

(Presents Cardkey)

Phoenix: TAKE THAT! The scene of the murder, as we all know, was Studio One.

"Told you."

Phoenix: However, you need a cardkey to enter Studio One! (slams) How could a boy with no formal relation to the studios have a cardkey!?

Judge: I see! Well, would the witness care to comment on this?

Oldbag: Mrph.

Phoenix: (The windbag... speechless. This has got to be a first.)

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Very well! This court will suspend proceedings on the current trial for today. Mr. Edgeworth, please find out more about your witness, Ms. Windy... what was her name?

Edgeworth: Something "Oldbag," Your Honor.

Some of them laughed.

Judge: Then the prosecution will look further into this Oldbag before we continue! That is all. The court is adjourned!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Well, we got a day at lea-" Ruby said.

Oldbag: W-wait a second!

"There's more?!"

Oldbag: I'm not going to just sit here while you run off barking up the wrong tree... me! I'm talking!

(Everyone's surprised.)

Maya: Oh, great, stop the presses! The windbag wants to talk!

Ruby started laughing.

"That sarcasm came out of nowhere." Pyrrha said.

"I like how Ruby managed to say that line perfectly." Yang said.

"Thanks." Ruby said.

Judge: Ms. Oldbag! What is this all about? Have you omitted something from your testimony?

Oldbag: Actually, if you must know, there's something I was told not to talk about.

"Not this again... Why can't Edgeworth play fair?" Weiss said.

Phoenix: N-not to talk about?

Edgeworth: By whom!?

"It wasn't him?!"

"There's more to this case." Blake said.

Phoenix: (Huh? You mean it wasn't Edgeworth who told her not to talk...?)

Judge: W-well, testify!

Witness Testimony

- My Lips Were Sealed -

Oldbag: Global Studios wanted me to keep quiet about something.

There were... some other people at the studios on the day of the murder.

They said they had "nothing to do with it," see?

So they told me to just pretend they "hadn't been at the studios that day."

But if you're going to go accusing me, I'm not letting them get away scot free!

"It was the studio?" Jaune said.

"That makes sense. The studio would want to close the case as soon as possible. Especially if a higher up was the murderer." Weiss said.

Judge: M-Ms. Oldbag! This is crucial information! Why did you keep this from the court until now!?

Oldbag: Ain't you been listening? They told me to shut my trap, and I always do what I'm told.

Judge: ...

Everyone laughed.

"Bitch, are you messing with me right now?!" Nora said.

Phoenix: (No, this isn't a bad dream, Your Honor. Witness the power of the Oldbag...)

Everyone laughed even louder.

"Witness my true powers! After a small nap."

"And she sleeps right there!" Yang said and laughed again.

Judge: Mr. Wright... Your cross-examination.

Cross Examination

- My Lips Were Sealed -

(Presses statement 1)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! So, you were told not to talk?

Oldbag: That's right! By the studio and TV bigwigs, no less!

Edgeworth: Why didn't I hear about this!?

Oldbag: Don't be too hard on yourself, sonny. We were all in on it.

(Presses statement 2)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! (slams) (points) W-who were these people!?

Oldbag: Well, the director and the producer, for starters...

"Of course, and it was obvious! Who does a scene without a director?! I feel like an idiot..." Blake said.

"How we didn't think about them?" Jaune said.

Phoenix: The... director?

Edgeworth: We should have known something was fishy! How could they have done a run-through of their action scene without a director? (slams) Of course!

"Don't feel bad. Not even Edgeworth thought about them." Ruby said.

Oldbag: Yes, well, I was surprised no one asked about it.

Phoenix: So, where were these people?

Oldbag: The director was in the Employee Area all morning for the run-through. He joined the producer around lunchtime and they had a meeting after that.

Edgeworth: (slams) Where!

"Exclamation point? No question mark?" Ren said.

Oldbag: Oh, in the Studio Two trailer.

Phoenix: S-Studio Two...!? (There was a Studio Two...?)

"Come on, man." Jaune said.

"... Are you-... did he... it was ON THE MAP!" Weiss said.

Oldbag: Well, if you look at the guidemap... Here it is. You go through the gate and all the way to the left.

Phoenix: (The path where the monkey's head was fallen over.)

Judge: Well, Mr. Wright... Would you like to continue the cross-examination...?

Phoenix: (I think I've already asked all my questions, but...)

[Continue cross-examination]

[Take a break]

"Should we stop here?" Ruby said.

"We got the information, so... I'll stop." Blake said.

(Picks Take a break)

Phoenix: Your Honor. We have learned there were others at Global Studios on the day in question. The director and the producer and, er, some bigwigs, were all present. (slams) Yet, as we stand here, they have not been questioned! (points) I hold that it is impossible to declare a verdict on the defendant, Mr. Powers!

Judge: Hmm...

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: The court acknowledges the defense's point. The prosecution will gather more information about the witness, Ms. Oldbag... and more information about these other people we have just been told of!

Edgeworth: ... I understand, Your Honor.

Judge: This ends the day's proceedings in the trial of Mr. Will Powers. That is all. The court is adjourned!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Everybody get out! I want some alone time with mah pancakes!" Nora said.

"Mah pancakes!" Yang said as she laughed.

"Mah pancakes! God, I'm so horny...". Yang laughed louder until she started coughing.

'First feet, now this. What has this gameplay become of?' Weiss thought.

October 18, 1:04 PM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 3

Will: Th-thank you so much, Mr. Wright. I was right to ask you to defend me.

Maya: Aww, really, it's nothing. *grin* Oh, or should I... *sniff*

"I'm speaking his language now?" Ruby said while laughing a little.

Phoenix: We'll be going down to the studios to do some more investigation. We have to find out more about this director and producer. They'll be turning up in the next trial as witnesses for certain. So now's my chance to get material for the cross-examination!

Maya: So, Nick... Have we figured out just who it was in that Steel Samurai costume? Could it really have been old windbag?

Phoenix: What do you think, Mr. Powers?

Will: I don't think it was her, really.

Maya: Neither do I, Nick.

Phoenix: Y-yeah, I know! Look, I was just buying time back there. Someone had to be the bad guy for a bit to take the pressure off Mr. Powers.

Maya: Poor old windbag... I feel kinda sorry for her.

"We don't." all of them said.

Phoenix: Well, she wasn't winning any points in there, with or without my accusation. Okay, let's get down to the studios.

Maya: Right! We'll be back to visit you soon...

Will: Th-thanks. Thanks, guys. *sniff*

To be continued.

"And that's... day 1." Blake said.

"I need a break." Jaune said.

"We all need one." Pyrrha said.

"I need some water. After all that laughing." Yang said.

"I knew your sense of humor was bad, but this much?" Weiss said.

"What? I found it toe-tally funny.". Weiss was trying so hard not to strangle her right now.

"And now she's making foot puns. Why...?" Ruby said.

"What can I say? My puns are leg-end-ary." Yang said. And that was the cherry on top. Weiss suddenly got up and tried to strangle her, but the girls held her back.

"Stop already!" Ruby and Blake said. Yang was laughing while going to the kitchen.

"You've seen what you created?" Ren said.

"It's not my fault she has a bad sense of humor." Nora said.


And done! Like, follow, leave a review and send me a PM if you want. See you soon!