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Chapter 15: Turnabout Goodbyes Part 4

December 27, 10:00 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 3

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Miles Edgeworth.

Phoenix: The defense is ready, Your Honor.

Karma: ... ...

"He seems ready." Nora said.

Judge: Very well, apparently the prosecution is also ready.

Some of them laughed.

Phoenix: (Who is the judge here, anyway!?)

"All rise for the honorable judge Von Karma." Yang said.

"Uh, I think you mean scary, your Honor." Jaune said.

"Shut up, Mr. Wright." Nora said.

Judge: Mr. von Karma, your opening statement.

Karma: ... ...

Judge: Er... very well, no opening statement so...

Karma: OBJECTION!

"That is my opening statement." Ruby said.

Karma: Not so fast, Judge! I was taking a meaningful pause before speaking!

"I mean, you did that last time and you were just brooding." Nora said.

"... Shut up."

Judge: R-right, of course.

Karma: A prediction! (snaps fingers) Today's trial will end three minutes from now!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Three minutes? There's no way." Weiss said.

Judge: Order... order! Mr. von Karma! What is the meaning of your statement just now!?

Karma: OBJECTION! Bah! Must you question everything!

"But it's my job..." Nora said.

Karma: It will be over in three minutes! We have no time to waste! I'll call my witness now!

Judge: R-right...

Karma: I call my witness... my decisive witness to the stand!

Phoenix: (It's that mysterious boat shop owner.)

(The witness is on the stand.)

Karma: Witness... state your profession.

Uncle: (wakes up) Mmph... zzzz... ... I, er, am the proprietor of the restaurant the "Wet Noodle" at Gourd Lake.

"He didn't ask for a name." Ruby said.

"He did on purpose, obviously." Weiss said.

Karma: (snaps fingers) ...

Uncle: And I, er, also rent boats.

Karma: The night of the incident, you were in the boat rental shop, correct?

Uncle: Er... ayup, yup I was.

Karma: Please testify.

Phoenix: (Wait a second... We still haven't heard who this old guy is!)

[Raise an objection]

[Let it slide]

"I'm not letting that slide!" Yang said.

(Picks Raise an objection)

Phoenix: OBJECTION! Wait a minute! (points) The witness hasn't stated his name yet!

Karma: OBJECTION! Because I did not ask him, Mr. Wright! Bah! I have predicted this trial will end in three minutes! (tsks and wags his finger) Stop asking trivial questions and cooperate!

"I'm sure the name of the witness doesn't count as 'trivial'." Blake said.

Phoenix: (Yeah, right!)

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: The witness will state his name.

Uncle: (wakes up) Zzzz... ... Mmph! Well, er... I'm not really sure, ayup.

Judge: What do you mean?

Uncle: My, er, memory...

"Ugh, come on, he has memory loss?!" Yang said.

Karma: Your honor... The witness does not remember anything beyond the last several years... Ergo, he cannot recall his own name.

Judge: Hmm... he can't recall, you say?

Karma: Yes, but the incident in question took place three days ago. He can testify.

Judge: Very well. Let's hear his testimony then, shall we. Witness?

Witness Testimony

- The Night of the Murder -

Uncle: It was the night of the 24th, just after midnight, ayup.

I was in the restaurant... where I er... rent boats, as usual.

Then I heard a "bang!" Ayup.

When I looked out the window, I saw a boat just a' floating on the lake.

Then I heard another "bang."

Just about then the boat comes back to the shore, and a man walks by my window.

Judge: Hmm...Very well. I'd like to begin the cross-examination...

Karma: OBJECTION! (tsks and wags his finger) There is nothing to question in my witness's testimony! Ergo, no need for cross-examination! Besides, there are only 10 seconds left before our three minutes are up! (snaps fingers) Judge! Your verdict, now!

Judge: Er... yes... M-Mr. Wright...?

[Cross-examine]

[Don't cross-examine]

"Eat a dick, Von Karma. And I don't care where the other option leads to."

(Picks Cross-examine)

Phoenix: (slams desk) What are you saying!? Of course I'll cross-examine the witness!

Judge: Hmm... Very well, you may begin.

Karma: (pounds his desk and grabs his right shoulder) Raaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

"It's not really something that makes you scream in anger." Jaune said.

"Why was he holding his arm like that?" Ruby said.

"Do you think that's his breakdown?" Yang said.

Judge: E-excuse me? Mr. von Karma?

Karma: Three minutes just passed.

Judge: I see. Well then, let's just take our time. You may cross-examine the witness.

Cross Examination

- The Night of the Murder -

'Alright, no penalties this time.' she thought.

(Presses statement 1)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! "Just after midnight," you say?

Uncle: Ayup, just around then.

Phoenix: Are you sure?

Uncle: Pretty sure, ayup.

Phoenix: When I talked to you yesterday, you were rather vague about the time... I'm surprised you seem so sure about it today.

Uncle: (falls asleep) ...

Karma: OBJECTION! I asked him, and he remembered. Isn't that right!?

Uncle: (wakes up) Zzzz... D-don't glare at me like that...! I, er... I remembered it clearly, I did. Ayup.

Karma: You see? Continue!

(Presses statement 2)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! Is there anyone who can verify that?

Uncle: ... Well, I guess Polly could.

Phoenix: (slams desk) Th-that's not good enough for a court of law!

Judge: Mr. Wright... exactly what's not good enough?

Phoenix: Ah, uh, Your Honor, this "Polly" is a parrot.

Judge: A... parrot?

Uncle: Don't be so hard on the girl, Keithy-boy!

Judge: Keith...?

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Nora said, making some of them laugh.

Karma: OBJECTION! The prosecution concedes that we cannot prove the witness was in the shop. Witness... please continue.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?!"

"No, now shut up." Ruby said.

"Aww..."

(Presses statement 3)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! And where did the "bang" seem to come from?

Uncle: (wakes up) From the lake, I figure.

Karma: (snaps fingers) Are you certain?

Uncle: A-ayup.

Karma: Good. Continue!

(Presses statement 4)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! Was there someone in the boat?

Uncle: It was pretty far out there... I couldn't see clearly... But I figure there was two men out there, ayup.

Phoenix: But you couldn't see them clearly!

Uncle: Ayup... at the time, that is.

Phoenix: (At the time...?)

"Now what does that mean?" Yang said.

"Nothing. He said Edgeworth approached the shack." Blake said.

"Oh, right."

(Presses statement 5)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! So you heard two gunshots total?

Uncle: Ayup.

Phoenix: (That's what Lotta said in her testimony yesterday.)

(Presses statement 6)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! "By your window"?

Uncle: Ayup, by my window. Right outside the window of my little shack.

Phoenix: (points) And, could you see the man's face?

Uncle: Well, the fog was pretty darn thick, but he was right there in front of me. I saw him.

Judge: This is rather important detail! Please add it to your testimony.

Uncle: ...

Karma: Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Phoenix: (I have a bad feeling about this...)

"I can't that seriously. I've never heard a laugh weirder than that." Weiss said.

Uncle: That man was the defendant... he was saying "I can't believe he's dead."

(Presses statement 6A)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! A-are you sure!?

Uncle: ...

Phoenix: (Uh oh!) (slams desk) D-Dad!

Uncle: (wakes up) Dead certain, Keith! He said "I can't believe he's dead" as he was walking by, too.

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Karma: Witness! Are you sure that the person you saw was Miles Edgeworth!?

Uncle: It was him! That Edgeworth boy! (Falls behind)

"... Is he dead?" Jaune said.

Judge: ... This... sounds like decisive evidence indeed. I see no room for doubt.

Phoenix: (von Karma... He lured me into cross-examining so he could set me up for a fall!)

Karma: Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Maya: N-Nick...! I don't like the way things are going here! Everyone in the courtroom is glaring at us!

Phoenix: (I'd better act quick, or this trial is going to be over!)

[Raise an objection]

[Wait and see what happens]

(Picks Raise an objection)

Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Your Honor! We proved in yesterday's court that it could not have been Edgeworth who fired the gun!

Karma: OBJECTION! Mr. Wright. Are you referring to the fingerprints from Edgeworth's right hand found on the gun, and the photograph showing a man firing with his left hand...?

Phoenix: Exactly!

Karma: (tsks and wags his finger) That is easily explainable! He could have wiped his prints after he fired! (snaps fingers) You are ignoring the truth of the matter here! Everything in this witness's testimony is true!

"But wouldn't he also wipe the fingerprints from his left hand after?" Pyrrha said.

Judge: Hmm...

Phoenix: (The judge is lost in thought... what should I do?)

[Raise an objection]

[Wait and see what happens]

(Picks Raise an objection)

Phoenix: OBJECTION! Your Honor! This witness claims that Edgeworth said "I can' t believe he's dead"... (points) But his word is all we have! (slams desk) If he were telling a lie...

Karma: OBJECTION!

"A witness?! Lying?! Absurd! That never happens!" Ruby said.

"What do you think this is?! Ace Attorney?!" Yang said.

Karma: Mr. Wright. In a court of law, the evidence tells all. Apparently, you have yet to realize even this basic fact. If you say his testimony is a lie, show us proof!

Phoenix: Urk...

Maya: Nick! Do we have evidence...?

Phoenix: It's no good! There's nothing I can do.

Maya: A... are you sure?

Phoenix: To be honest... I don't know what to do anymore.

"I mean, I can present my attorney's badge, but I don't think it'll help." Jaune said.

Maya: Please... Can you hear me, Sis? Please... We need your help... Nick needs you...

"He needs your big chest so that we can win!"

Karma: Tsk tsk tsk... Three minutes was perhaps too high an expectation. However, fifteen minutes isn't bad! This must be a new record.

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Enough! The witness may leave the stand.

Uncle: Zzzz...

Judge: This court sees no reason to further prolong the trial. Nor is there any need for more time to decide the case against the defendant. This case is extremely clear. I see no room for misinterpretation of the facts.

Phoenix: (W-what!? No!)

"Is it over?" Ruby said.

"Nah... probably someone's hoing to intervene and save us." Yang said.

"I don't know, it doesn't seem like anyone is going to save you." Blake said.

"That's too bad. Oh well." Weiss said.

"Nah, you'll see. You'll see. I mean, it was only one cross-examination." Yang said.

Karma: Hmph.

Judge: This court find the defendant, Mr. Miles Edgeworth...

"And now someone says 'wait' or 'hold it'."

Guilty

"Eh?"

Judge: The accused will surrender to the court immediately, to be held pending trial at a higher court within a month from today's date.

"Well, would you look at that." Weiss said.

"D-did I lose...? No, this can't be the end, I didn't even do anything!"

"It looks like it to me."

'There's no way it's over, it's just started. Someone will come at the last minute.' Blake thought.

Judge: That is all. The court is adjourned!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Damn it!" Yang said.

"Game over, Xiao Long! Now you-" Weiss said.

W-w-waaaaaaait!

"What?!"

"YES! Fuuuuck youuuu, Ice Queen!"

Judge: Wh-who was that just now?

Me!

"And the song is playing too!"

Phoenix: Huh? Waaaaah! (It was Larry.) L-Larry!

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Weiss said.

"The Butz comes in clutch!" Nora said.

"Larry, you finally became useful!" Yang said.

Judge: Wh-what are you doing here!?

"Man that I don't remember for some reason?" Nora said.

Butz: Listen! Y-you gotta listen to me! I... I was... I was there, in the park, the night of the murder! I... I wasn't sure about it until just yesterday. B-but today I remembered it!

Judge: Remembered what?

Butz: The gunshot! I heard it too!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: O-order!

Karma: OBJECTION! (snaps fingers) What is the meaning of this!? The verdict has been decided! I call for adjournment!

Judge: One moment, Mr. von Karma. So, you say you heard a gunshot?

Butz: Yeah, I did! A gunshot! That night! I was sitting here in the audience, listening to the testimony... Then I realized, something he said was different from what I remember! A-anyhow, I can't just sit here and let you call Edgey a murderer! It's... It's just not right! I'll testify! Lemme testify!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! Well, this is the first time something has happened like this in my court. I'm not quite sure how to proceed...

"Besides I don't really want to return home."

Karma: Judge! You've already given your decision! (snaps fingers) The trial is over!

"Hmm, I don't know..."

"I'll make you pancakes." Ruby said.

"Really? For real?"

"For real."

"I wouldn't trust Von Karma's cooking." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, instead of syrup, he would use snake poison or something." Yang said.

Maya: Nick! This is it! Larry's given us one final chance at this!

Phoenix: (She's right! If only it wasn't Larry... He could make things even worse...)

Maya: Mr. Edgeworth was just declared guilty, Nick! It doesn't get any worse!

"It's Larry." Jaune said.

"Yeah, you're right." Ruby said.

Phoenix: You're right! Okay! (slams desk) Your Honor! If there is another witness, it is our duty to hear him speak! (points) Right here! Right now!

Karma: A waste of time! The verdict cannot be overturned!

Judge: Hmm... ... ...

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Allow me to speak my opinion. In all court proceedings, it is our duty to prevent an inaccurate verdict. In order to make sure no mistake has been made, every witness should be heard!

Karma: Wh-what is this!?

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: I withdraw my previous verdict of "guilty"!

"Yeaahhhh, baby!" Yang said.

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Mr. von Karma! I order you to call this new witness to testify. Now!

Karma: Whaaaat!

Judge: The court will adjourn for a five minute recess. After that, we will hear this new witness. Court is adjourned!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

"Man, that was a scare."

"This is stupid. This is unrealistic." Weiss said.

"No shit."

"Hmph. Whatever. There's still time."

December 27, 10:28 AM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 2

Phoenix: Whew... That was too close. Sorry to keep you on the edge of your seat like that, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Hmph. I've seen worse.

Phoenix: (Yeah right, Edgeworth. You're sweating bullets!) I just wonder what Larry plans to say in there.

Maya: Larry was at the lake that night?

Phoenix: Yes... He said he went looking for the Steel Samurai balloon that flew into the lake.

Maya: Oh right. And he found the balloon and the air tank that night?

Phoenix: Yeah.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Hey, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: ... Huh? You say something, Wright?

Phoenix: Yeah, a lot of things. You seem out of it. What's wrong?

Edgeworth: It... it's nothing.

Phoenix: Hmm?

Maya: Umm... Mr. Edgeworth? There's something I've been meaning to ask you.

Edgeworth: What's that?

Maya: Why are your fingerprints on the murder weapon?

"I thought we already answered that." Ruby said.

Edgeworth: Oh. When he fell into the lake, I went into a daze. I couldn't understand what had happened. I couldn't think straight. Then I saw the pistol lying on the floor of the boat in front of me. I picked it up without thinking. I didn't have a reason, really.

Maya: I see...

Edgeworth: Wright...

Phoenix: Yeah?

Edgeworth: This might be our chance.

Phoenix: Our chance?

Edgeworth: von Karma has only ever run perfect trials.

Phoenix: Perfect trials...?

Edgeworth: Perfectly prepared witnesses, perfectly complete evidence. That's the secret to his success. This is the first time he's ever had to deal with something unexpected! He has let someone he hasn't even talked to testify before the court! And that someone... is Larry!

Phoenix: What are you getting at?

"We're fucked, Wright." Yang said and everyone started laughing.

Edgeworth: It's likely his testimony will be full of holes, Wright.

Maya: That's right, Nick! No ten minute trial this time! We'll milk this one for all it's worth!

Phoenix: Hey, it was fifteen minutes! Fifteen! (Everything depends on Larry now...)

December 27, 10:35 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 3

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Court is now back in session. Witness... Please testify to the court about everything that you saw... on the night of December 24th.

Butz: Right... leave it to me!

Phoenix: (Please, Larry, don't mess this one up! I hate to admit it, but you're our last chance!)

"Is it late for a confession, says Edgeworth."

Karma: ...

Phoenix: (von Karma didn't even have time to prep his witness. I just hope Edgeworth is right about this being our big break...)

Witness Testimony

- The Night of the Murder -

Butz: That night, I was out in a boat on the lake.

I was looking for something and I, er, found it.

So I quietly slipped the boat back in at the rental shop dock.

Then, just as I was thinking about going home, I heard this "bang"!

I looked out over the lake, but I didn't notice the boat.

So after I heard that single gunshot I went home.

"Okay, this will be easy."

'He just had to appear and make things easier, didn't he?' Weiss thought.

Judge: Hmm... That was an unusually vague testimony, even for this court. In any matter, Mr. Wright, you may begin your cross-examination.

Phoenix: Yes, Your Honor...

Maya: What's wrong, Nick?

Phoenix: It's Larry! I have no idea what he's going to say if I press him. I'm a little scared.

Maya: Hmm... Well, we've come this far. There's no way to go but forward, Nick!

Cross Examination

- The Night of the Murder -

"Aaaaand take that." Yang said.

(Presents Pistol at statement 6)

Phoenix: OBJECTION!

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" almost everyone yelled.

"What?!".

'Then again, you never know.' Weiss thought while holding her laughter.

Phoenix: Your Honor! That statement contradicts this evidence!

Judge: ...? It does? I don't see anything contradictory...

Phoenix: Huh? Really?

"Wait, it's not that? But it's stated that it was fired three- three times?" Yang said.

Judge: Objection overruled. Try to think before you make accusations, Mr. Wright! (Gets penalty.)

"You deserve that one, dumbass!" Nora said.

Phoenix: (Whoops! That didn't go so well.)

"Why is it not the gun?!" Yang said.

"Because there's something else in the court record that proves this!" Blake said.

"There is?". She checks the court record. "Ohhhhh... Lotta's testimony. I actually forgot I had that." everyone facepalmed at that moment.

'This is incredible!' Weiss thought.

"Okay, sorry, this is the actual one."

(Presents Lotta's Deposition at statement 6)

Phoenix: OBJECTION! W-wait a sec, Larry!

Butz: Wh-what!?

Phoenix: You only heard one "bang"!? You're sure!?

Butz: That's what I said!

Phoenix: But Mr. Lotta Hart testified yesterday that she heard two "bang"s! And the old man just now said the same thing! They both heard two gunshots that night!

Butz: Huh?

Phoenix: (slams desk) Were you even listening!? (points) Were you paying attention at all to what they said?

"Not really."

Butz: Yo, Nick, please!

Phoenix: Huh?

Butz: You know, something's been bothering me. I'm a witness, see? I'm like a customer here! So you got to treat me nice and stuff, okay!?

Phoenix: ...

"I want to kill him. I actually want to kill him." Weiss said.

Judge: Mr. Butz.

Butz: What!?

"Don't raise your voice at me, you little shit." Nora said.

Judge: You only heard one gunshot? Are you sure?

Butz: ... Umm... Well, to tell ya the truth... I'm not sure.

Judge: Eh...?

Phoenix: Not sure!? H-how could you not be sure?

Butz: Yeah, well... I, uh, I might have missed the other gunshot. I was, uh, listening to something else...

Phoenix: Something... else?

Butz: My radio, dude! On my headphones.

"Oh, come on! Why are you so useless?!" Yang said.

Phoenix: Whaaaaaaat!?

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! And stop that booing!

"Just throw things! Preferably rocks." Nora said.

Judge: M-Mr. Butz! You were listening to a radio on earphones?

Butz: Y-yeah! So what! That a crime!? I listen to my radio! Everybody listens to the radio! What's the big deal!?

Judge: Hmm... Mr. von Karma... your opinion?

Karma: Waste of time. I do not accept this witness, nor his shoddy testimony.

"I'm this close snapping him out of existence." Ruby said.

"Do it. Please."

Judge: Hmm... Well, Mr. Wright? Should he continue the testimony?

[That's enough]

[Continue]

"There must be something else." Yang said.

(Picks Continue)

Phoenix: Your Honor. Please... please allow the witness to continue his testimony.

Karma: Bah! Nothing is more pitiful than a lawyer who doesn't know when he's lost!

Judge: Very well, Mr. Butz. Please give your testimony, and be sure to include details like your RADIO.

Butz: Right! Leave it to me!

Phoenix: (I wouldn't if there were any other way out of this, believe me.)

Witness Testimony

- What Larry Heard -

Butz: It's lonely, being alone on Christmas Eve!

That's why I was listening to an all-requests show on the radio, see?

I was listening to it real booming loud, like.

But I'm sure I heard that gunshot!

I remember exactly what the DJ was saying when I heard it, too.

Judge: You were listening to your radio... at a high volume!?

Butz: Yeah, what's the big problem? Can't a man listen to his radio in peace? Isn't this a free country!?

"I hope you're not in the next games." Blake said

Phoenix: (I truly believe Larry has no idea what the problem is.)

Karma: Judge. Can you believe a word this witness says? What he heard was probably nothing more than a drum beat from the radio!

Judge: True enough, it is difficult to believe this testimony.

Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Wait, Your Honor! The witness said he remembers exactly what the DJ said when he heard the gunshot!

Judge: Excuse me? "Dee-jay"...?

"What kind of name is that? Sounds like BJ to me." Nora said.

"More like BS-." Yang said but started laughing, along with some of the others.

"I don't like those.". Yang laughed louder.

"The fact that he doesn't know what a DJ is but knows what a BJ is, is hilarious."

"I bought a lot of pancakes that night."

"I don't get it, what is BJ?" Ruby said.

"Do you really want me to tell you?"

"... N-no...?"

Phoenix: An announcer... the guy who says things on the radio. Anyway! What this means is, when he heard the sound, no music was playing! (points) The DJ only talks between songs! So he could have heard the gunshot from the lake! I'd like to cross-examine the witness, Your Honor!

Judge: V-very well, Mr. Wright.

Phoenix: (I can't believe I'm continuing this charade...)

Cross Examination

- What Larry Heard -

"Okay, let's press now." Yang said.

(Presses statement 5)

Phoenix: HOLD IT! What did he say?

Karma: OBJECTION! Mr. Wright! Please cease these pointless questions! What possible good could knowing what a radio DJ said do us!?

Judge: Indeed, Mr. von Karma has a point. I'll allow the question only if you see some reason why we should care...?

[We don't care]

[We should care]

"I don't know, man!"

"I just don't want to lose! And not get arrested for attempted murder." Jaune said.

"Oh no, you have the okay, no one likes Larry." Nora said.

"Fuck you, judge what's-your-name!" Yang said.

"That is my name."

"What?"

"His name is Judge?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, Judge Judgeson." Nora said.

"How do you come up with stuff like that?" Ren said.

"I just do."

(Picks We should care)

Phoenix: (slams desk) We should care, Your Honor! Of course we should!

Karma: Why?

"Why not?" Jaune said.

"... Good point."

Phoenix: Uh. W-well, how do you know if we don't ask, hmm?

Some of them laughed.

Judge: Fine, very well. Mr. Butz, please testify to the court. What was the radio announcer saying when you heard the gunshot?

Butz: Just when she said "Hey! It's almost Christmas!" I heard the gunshot!

"Almost Christmas?"

"You're thinking something?" Blake said.

"They stated that the shot was fired after midnight, which means it was Christmas. And the DJ said it was almost Christmas..."

"Which means?"

"Which means there was another shot before the other two! Yes, finally! Where is it now? Yes, the lake photo! Take that!"

(Presents Lake Photo)

Phoenix: OBJECTION!

"YEAH! Let's fucking go!"

Phoenix: (slams desk) Larry! Are you absolutely sure what you're saying is correct!?

Butz: Huh? What's with the face? You look scary, dude. Hey, if you're trying to scare me, you better know I don't scare that easy!

Judge: Is something the matter, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: Your Honor! (points) Did you hear what the witness just said? The DJ said "Hey! It's almost Christmas!" when he heard the gunshot!

Judge: Indeed... And...?

Phoenix: "Almost Christmas" means it wasn't Christmas! Do you realize what this means? (slams desk) (points) When he heard the gunshot, it was still Christmas Eve!

Judge: That would seem to be the case, yes...

"Wow, he's really slow." Jaune said.

Phoenix: But he should have heard that gunshot after midnight! This photograph is irrefutable proof of this fact!

Judge: Let's see what the time was on the photo taken when the gun triggered Ms. Hart's camera. 12/25 00:15 ...! Fifteen minutes after midnight, on Christmas Day!

Phoenix: (slams desk) This is a clear contradiction, Your Honor!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! What does this mean? The two prior witnesses heard gunshots after midnight. However, this witness says he heard a gunshot before midnight...

Karma: Judge. The answer is simple. (snaps fingers) The current witness is plainly mistaken. Just look at him! Suspicious!

"He's sus!" Ruby said.

"He looks really sussy to me!" Nora said.

"Sussy?" Yang said.

"Okay, no. Don't say that ever again." Weiss said.

Butz: Wh-whaaat!?

Judge: Hmm... Well, Mr. Wright? What do you think about Mr. Butz's claim that he heard the gunshot before midnight?

[Larry's wrong]

[Larry's right]

(Picks Larry's right)

Phoenix: Larry's not mistaken, Your Honor! (slams desk) (points) He heard that gunshot before midnight!

Karma: ... Intriguing. I'm assuming you have evidence for this wild claim? (snaps fingers) Show me evidence there was a gunshot before midnight!

"Okay, now I present the gun, because of the three shots." Yang said.

(Presents Pistol)

Phoenix: TAKE THAT! This is my evidence.

Judge: The... murder weapon?

Phoenix: Something about this pistol was bothering me, Your Honor. Both of the witnesses who testified yesterday heard two gunshots. However, the murder weapon was fired three times. When, then, was the last shot fired? Only now have I realized the truth. (slams desk) That third shot was the shot Larry heard just before midnight!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! Hmm... I guess that would make sense out of yesterday's testimonies.

Karma: OBJECTION!

"No, it wouldn't!" Ruby said.

"This is all a bunch of bullshit!"

Karma: Bah! You waste our time again with your empty statements! Yes, the pistol was fired three times. (snaps fingers) But do you have any proof that it was fired before midnight!? Do you have proof that the witness didn't just "think" he heard something?

Judge: Indeed... Well, Mr. Wright? There's no turning back now. Do you have evidence that proves there was a gunshot before midnight? Do you have evidence that proves Mr. Butz wasn't just hearing things?

"What do I present now?... Oh, wait, there was a second photo... Here, it says December 24."

(Presents Second Lake Photo)

Phoenix: Look at this photograph!

"Every time I do it makes me laugh!" Jaune said.

"Just look at it. It's so fucking funny!"

"Mr Wright, it stopped being funny a long time ago. Not gonna lie, that's kinda cringe." Nora said.

"Sorry, your Honor." Jaune said.

Phoenix: This was taken by our witness yesterday, Ms. Lotta Hart, with her automatic camera. The timestamp on the photo reads "December 24, 11:50 PM."

Judge: Oh yeah? Hmm? But, there's nothing on the lake in this picture.

Phoenix: Your Honor. The real issue here is not why nothing is shown in the photograph. (points) It is why this photograph exists at all!

Judge: What do you mean?

Phoenix: Your Honor... This photograph was taken by an automatic camera. That camera was set to go off in response to loud noises!

Judge: Ahah!

Phoenix: Correct! There was a loud noise on the lake at 11:50 PM. That is why this photograph was taken! (points) In other words... (slams desk) There was a gunshot at the time that Larry claims!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Order! Order! Hmm... That would make sense of the evidence we've seen so far. ... However... This leaves me wondering exactly what did happen that night on the lake.

Karma: Exactly! If this is true, there were two sets of gunshots, separated by 25 minutes! One at 11:50, another at 15 minutes after midnight! (snaps fingers) Why, I ask you! Why!?

Phoenix: (Uh oh, I'd better think of something quick! ... Wait a second...! Gunshots separated by 25 minutes...?) Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Maya: Wh-what's wrong, Nick?

"Nothing, my balls started hurting me all of a sudden." Yang said. Some of them laughed

Phoenix: I have it! I have it!

Maya: Huh?

Phoenix: Remember the case with the Steel Samurai!?

Maya: Huh? Yeah, of course I remember...

Phoenix: The murderer in this case had the same idea as the murderer in that case!

Maya: What do you mean?

Phoenix: Maya!

Maya: Yes!?

"What?! Stop yelling at me! I don't understand you, Nick!" Ruby said.

Phoenix: If we don't figure this out now, we'll never overturn Edgeworth's guilty verdict! I've got a hunch, and I'm going to run with it...

Maya: Right! I mean... is this safe?

Phoenix: Safe? We've already gotten a guilty verdict! We have nothing to lose!

Maya: ...

Phoenix: You just watch and let me know if I say anything that sounds fishy, okay?

Maya: (slams desk) Right, Nick!

Phoenix: Your Honor!

Judge: Y-yes, Mr. Wright?

Phoenix: The testimony just now has cleared up this entire case!

Judge: What do you mean, Mr. Wright!?

Karma: Tsk tsk tsk... So, you've finally realized the truth? There can be no other murderer here than Miles Edgeworth himself.

Phoenix: Wrong, von Karma! (points) A man was shot that night, but it wasn't Edgeworth who did the shooting!

Karma: (tsks and wags his finger) Listen, rookie. Take a deep breath, and consider the facts. At the time of the murder, one boat was on the lake. This was shown by the witness's photograph. The defendant, Edgeworth, and victim, Robert Hammond, were on that boat. There was a gunshot fired on that boat, and Robert Hammond fell into the lake. The distance of the shooting was one meter. It couldn't have been suicide! Well? (snaps fingers) The guilty party has to be the other man on that boat!

Judge: I admit, it is hard to imagine any other possibility.

Phoenix: Yes... (points) But this assumes that the victim was shot at 15 minutes after midnight.

Judge: ... What do you mean by that, Mr. Wright? We have photographic evidence of the time of the shooting. The timestamp on the photo says 00:15.

Phoenix: But Larry heard a gunshot 25 minutes before that! (slams desk) Robert Hammond was killed then! 25 minutes before the shot on the lake! (That's the only way that Edgeworth could be innocent!)

Judge: ...

Karma: ... Mr. Wright. Are you quite mad? Explain who this is sitting on the boat!

"Mad? I'm fucking insane, my guy!"

[The murderer and Hammond]

[Edgeworth and the murderer]

[Edgeworth and Hammond]

"It must have been Edgeworth and the murderer."

(Picks Edgeworth and the murderer)

Phoenix: (slams desk) Of course, it was Edgeworth and the murderer! (points) After the murderer killed Robert Hammond at 11:50... He assumed the guise of Mr. Hammond and met Edgeworth!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Wh... What!? Are you serious?

Phoenix: Yes. Edgeworth won't tell us why he went to the lake that night. However, I have a hunch. That night, Robert Hammond called Edgeworth to the lake. Now, Edgeworth didn't know Robert Hammond's face that well. (slams desk) (points) That's why he didn't suspect anything when the murderer took Robert Hammond's place!

Judge: ... I'm not sure what to make of all this.

Karma: L-Ludicrous!

Judge: Mr. Wright. Tell us the name of the murderer then!

Phoenix: The murderer's name...? Right! It's...

[Miles Edgeworth]

[Lotta Hart]

[I don't know]

"It was Lotta!"

"Shoot! Foiled again!" Nora said.

"I'm surprised Larry's not one of the options." Jaune said.

"Fuck you, man! Give me a break!" Yang said.

(Picks I don't know)

Phoenix: Actually, I don't know the murderer's name.

Judge: Y-you don't know!?

Karma: Bah! Again, you waste my time!

Phoenix: (slams desk) I don't know because he never told us!

Karma: ...!

Phoenix: The murderer is the caretaker of the boat shop, that old man! (slams desk) (points) At 11:50, he was the one who killed Robert Hammond.

Judge: The caretaker of the boat shop!? Wh-where did he do this!? There weren't any boats on the lake then!

Phoenix: Why would he have to go all the way out on the lake just to shoot someone? May I suggest... That the real scene of the crime was not in a boat!

Judge: What!? W-well then, where did the murder take place!?

Phoenix: (Show the judge where the murder really took place!)

"I- Is he talking to us?" Ruby said.

"You, playing the game, show the judge the place of the murder!" Nora said.

"I was thinking of an educational game, like 'Hey kids, can you tell us where was the victim murdered?'." Jaune said.

"It's right here, mister." Yang said.

(Shows Gourd Lake Woods)

Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) It was here!

Judge: ... Where Ms. Hart, the photographer was camping?

"What? I didn't point there!"

Phoenix: Yes.

"I didn't point there! What the hell?! I point it at the forest area next to the shack!"

"Maybe it counts the entire forest area as Lotta's location?" Ren said.

"That's bullshit! THIS GAME IS BULLSHIT!".Yang's eyes became red. "I POINTED AT THE GREEN AREA NEXT TO THE SHACK BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD SEE THEM THERE AND-"

"He just said that Lotta was there!" Pyrrha said.

"NO SHE WASN'T, SHE WAS AT THE AREA OVER THE SHACK! THEY CAN'T JUST SAY THAT ALL OF THE GREEN IS LOTTA'S AREA!"

"Okay, we get it, but do you have to yell?!" Blake said.

"YES, BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AND I'M RANTING BECAUSE THIS GAME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

'I can't believe it... Am I going to win that easily? It will be either her thickheadness or the game's nonsense.' Weiss thought.

Judge: Why would the caretaker of the boat shop go there to kill someone?

Phoenix: It was probably an honest mistake.

Judge: The caretaker made a mistake?

Phoenix: No, I did.

Judge: ... Maybe you'd like to show us again?

Phoenix: (Show the judge where the murder really took place!)

"Why are you skipping the dialog?" Jaune said.

"Who cares? Let's just continue." Yang said.

"At least you didn't get a penalty." Ruby said.

"I would lose it if they gave me a penalty."

"You mean more than now?" Weiss said.

"Wow, funny. You know what's funnier? The end of my fist meeting your face."

"Whatever."

"I'll pick the shack itself this time."

(Shows Boat Rental Shop)

Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) Here, of course! The boat shop, where he lives. That way he could meet with the victim without anyone seeing!

Karma: OBJECTION!

"You didn't get the penalty for the first one! Judge, give him the penalty!" Ruby said.

"Don't you start, now!" Yang said, while laughing.

"Penalty?! Hot dog!" Nora said.

Karma: Do you have proof that the boat shop was the scene of the crime!?

Phoenix: Recall Larry's testimony if you will. That night he was out on the lake in a boat, searching for something. He finds it, and returns the boat. Then, just as he's starting to head for home, he hears a gunshot! He heard a gunshot, Your Honor! Even though he was wearing headphones at the time! In other words, the gunshot was very, very close by! And where would that be if he had just returned a boat?

Judge: The boat shop...!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Mr. Wright! What happened that night on Gourd Lake!? Please tell the court, from the beginning!

Phoenix: Y-yes, Your Honor.

"Please, tell me, IwannaknowIwannaknowIwannaknow!" Nora said.

"Okay, I'll tell you, you... big man child." Jaune said.

Maya: Nick, are you sure about this...?

Phoenix: Um, not really. But, I think if I start at the very beginning... And I take it slow, I must just be able to figure this out...

Phoenix: That night... The caretaker of the boat shop called Robert Hammond to his shop. This was around 11:50. That was when the gunshot that Larry heard was fired. After that, the caretaker put on Robert Hammond's coat... He became Robert Hammond! Then he got in the boat with Edgeworth, and went out into the middle of the lake.

Judge: Then... who fired the pistol on the boat, Mr. Wright?

[Miles Edgeworth]

[The boat shop caretaker]

(Picks The boat shop caretaker)

Phoenix: Of course, it was the murderer who shot the pistol. He shot twice. Both missed Edgeworth, on purpose.

Judge: Wait a minute...

Phoenix: Y-yes?

"Who are you, again?" Nora said. Some of them laughed.

"Your Honor, it's me, Phoenix Wright." Jaune said.

"Who? Wait, where am I?"

"Dementia finally kicked in." Yang said.

Judge: Why would he shoot twice if he didn't mean to hit anyone?

Phoenix: Uh... (Details! Details!)

Karma: Know this, Mr. Wright. The moment you run out of explanations is the moment you lose. (snaps fingers) Tell us why the murderer had to fire twice!

[Because the first shot missed]

[To create a witness]

(Picks To create a witness)

Phoenix: I believe he shot twice to create a witness, Your Honor.

Judge: Create a witness...?

Phoenix: The murderer lifts his pistol and fires one shot. That ensures that anyone who heard the shot would look at the lake. Indeed, Ms. Hart did exactly that after hearing the first gunshot. Next! The murderer waits a bit and he fires again. Then... The murderer jumps from the boat himself! Leaving the pistol in the boat behind him.

Judge: ... I see! To someone looking from the edge of the lake... It would appear that one of the men on the boat had shot the other!

Phoenix: The murderer didn't know about the automatic camera, of course. (slams desk) That's why he shot twice to draw attention to the boat!

Judge: Hmm...

Phoenix: Once you realize that, everything else falls into place! The boat shop caretaker swam back to his shop. Then he put Mr. Hammond's coat back on the body. And threw the body into the lake! This is what happened, Your Honor. These are the events that transpired that night on Gourd Lake.

Judge: ...

Karma: ...

...

"Hey, that actually makes sense!". Some of them laughed.

"The gallery is right! It does make sense!"

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: ... Bailiff! Bring out the witness from before! The boat shop caretaker! Quickly!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Very well. While we are waiting for the caretaker... I would like to ask the defendant, Miles Edgeworth, a few questions. Mr. Edgeworth. Please take the stand.

(Edgeworth gets on the stand.)

Judge: Mr. Edgeworth... You heard what the defense has said?

Edgeworth: Yes.

Judge: Well? Why did you go to the lake that night?

Edgeworth: ... What Wright has said was mostly correct. Astonishingly so, actually. Yes... Several days ago, I received a letter. The letter was signed, "Robert Hammond." He asked me to come to the boat shop by the lake at midnight on Christmas Eve. He said he had something very important to discuss with me.

Judge: Something important?

Edgeworth: ... I'm sorry. I can't say what it was.

Judge: Hmm...

Guard: Your Honor, sir!

"I forgot your whiny bailiff voice." Yang said.

"Because you never hear the bailiff talking."

Judge: Bailiff! We are conducting a trial here, I ask that you remain quiet...

Guard: The witness has disappeared! He isn't at the boat shop, either!

Judge: What!?

"He's gone?!" Ruby said

"He realised that he would get caught and fled. Smart." Blake said.

Guard: What should I do?

Judge: F-find him, quickly! We cannot allow him to get away!

(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)

Judge: Mr. von Karma! Your witness has disappeared!

Karma: ... A search warrant has already been issued.

Judge: Hmm... It goes without saying that I cannot declare a verdict under these circumstances. I will extend the trial until tomorrow, the final day allowed. I request that the police department utilize all its forces to find that witness! Am I understood?

Karma: ...

Judge: One more thing. Just who is that boat shop caretaker? I think his identity has become very important to this trial. I want him, and I want to know who he is.

Karma: ...

Judge: Very well. Court is adjourned!

(The judge pounds his gavel.)

December 27, 1:22 PM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 2

Maya: Yay, Nick! You did it!

Phoenix: Yeah... Well, at least we got out from under that guilty verdict...

Maya: And what about Larry! That was something else! Even von Karma didn't know what to do with his testimony! Larry really helped us out!

"I know, shocking, right?"

Phoenix: Sure, once I sifted through his "unique" testimony. Still... he did save us. I just wish our cases weren't so down to the wire all the time.

Maya: I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like it's us on trial instead of our clients!

Phoenix: Hey, Edgeworth...

Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Umm... Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: ! D-did you say something?

Maya: Don't look so pained! I mean, it looks like you're probably going to get off the hook! You could try to smile just a little...? Relax!

Edgeworth: ... I'm sorry... But... I fear it's not over for me yet.

Phoenix: Wh-what do you mean?

Edgeworth: Wright... There's something that's been troubling me for a long time now. And I don't know whether or not to tell you...

"Ohhhh... don't tell me!" Yang said.

"No..." Weiss said.

"This can't be real..." Jaune said.

"Come on, say it! SAY IT!" Yang said.

"STOP WITH THE SHIPPING! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Ruby said.

"What's going on, Rubes? You don't like it when two men are into each other? Hmm?"

"What?! No! I didn't have a problem with in the first place! You're just so toxic when it comes to shipping fictional characters, especially of the same gender, that you just ruin it! YOU'RE MAKING IT CRINGE!". She was ranting so hard, she was out of breath.

"... Okay? Can we continue with the confession now?". Ruby dropped her head on the desk, grabbing her head, trying not to scream.

"I don't think I've seen her this angry." Pyrrha said.

"It's a first time for us too." Weiss said.

Phoenix: Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: No... there's so little time left. I want to tell you, to get it off my chest, but... ... Hmm. I can't make up my mind. ...

Phoenix: What is this about, Edgeworth?

"Say it... Say it...!" Yang said.

Edgeworth: ... It's... a nightmare I've had. A memory of a crime... that I committed.

"FUCK! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!"

"To bring you back to reality?" Ruby said.

"... I don't think I like your attitude, miss."

"... I don't think I like YOUR attitude, ma'am.". They glared at each other.

"Can we... continue now?" Jaune said. Yang pressed the key, still glaring.

Phoenix: A crime you committed?

Edgeworth: A memory... of a murder.

To be continued.

"Murder?" Blake said.

"It's definitely going to be important in the future." Ren said.

Yeah, it was all in orange." Nora said.

"What? Is he going to say that he killed his father?" Weiss said.

"Don't spoil it!"

"What? That's obviously where the plotline's heading."

"Uh, guys? I think we should go." Jaune said, pointing towards the two sisters in the middle of the room, glaring at each other.

"... Good idea."

"You're right." Blake said.

"Let's wait outside until they calm down." Pyrrha said. They all walked quietly outside and closed the door.


And done! About the last outburst, even if her actual outburst in the show never happened, I would've still done that joke. Anyway, leave a like, a follow and a review if you want. See you soon!