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Chapter 19: Rise from the Ashes Part 2
February 23, 9:34 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 2
Lana: How did the investigation go yesterday, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Frankly, there are still a lot of... gray areas.
Ema: Or rather, the whole thing is one big gray area...
Lana: Don't worry about me, no matter what the outcome. I'm ready to accept my fate.
Ema: I believe in you, sis.
"Well, I didn't ask for your opinion." Yang said.
"Oh..." Ruby said. Yang started laughing.
Lana: Mr. Wright, let me offer you a word of advice.
Phoenix: Yes?
"Be mean to her." Yang said.
"Is this the running gag now? Being mean to Ema?" Jaune said.
"Yeah, it's funny."
Lana: A defense attorney should never "believe" their client.
Ema: ...!
Lana: The defendant is called to trial because they are suspected of wrongdoing! Never forget that.
Phoenix: Ms. Skye, you... You remind me a lot of Mia. But there is one decisive difference between you and her.
Lana: And that is?
"You don't have big titties."
Phoenix: You're not a defense attorney.
"That too."
Lana: ... I believe it's almost time for the trial. Good luck, Mr. Wright.
Phoenix: (My first trial without a Fey helping me... No one's going to bail me out this time... I'll be alone in there... So I have to discover the truth all by myself!)
Ema: Let's do it, Mr. Wright! I'll be with you the whole way!
"Yeah, whatever. Shut up."
"Not you too!" Ruby said. Everyone started laughing.
February 23, 10:00 AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 9
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
"Everyone, shut the fuck up! That's right! I'm back from the dead!" Nora said.
Judge: The court is now in session for the trial of Ms. Lana Skye.
Phoenix: The defense is ready, Your Honor.
Edgeworth: The prosecution has been ready for a while, Your Honor.
Phoenix: (Edgeworth... I haven't been in court since Edgeworth's trial... It's been a while now.)
Edgeworth: I hope that personal feelings will not be a part of the proceedings today, Mr. Wright.
Phoenix: ...!
"I hope that you lusting over me won't get in the way of this trial." Yang said.
"Really? Again?" Weiss said.
"I can't help it! It's too easy!"
Edgeworth: I will choose the path I think is right, regardless of what those around me might say.
"See?!"
"The game doesn't help itself." Ren said.
Edgeworth: The judgment to be made here is in our hands, not those of anyone else.
Judge: Very well, Mr. Edgeworth, your opening statement please.
Edgeworth: Chief Prosecutor Lana Skye has committed an unpardonable crime. (points) Not only this, but she was rash enough to commit it in the Prosecutor's Office lot!
Ema: Wow... He's much more forceful in person. I suddenly feel like confessing to everything!
Edgeworth: However, she will now pay for her rashness with her life. There was a witness to her crime... A "professional" witness!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Well then, call your first witness, Mr. Edgeworth!
Edgeworth: The prosecution calls its first witness, Ms. Angel Starr, to the stand.
Phoenix: (The "Cough-up Queen"...?)
(The witness gets on the stand.)
Judge: Hmm? Haven't I seen you somewhere...?
Angel: You ordered the Caviar Lunch, right?
"Caviar in a lunchbox?" Ruby said.
"It's probably low quality." Weiss said.
"I wonder what they taste like." Nora said.
"Salty. But delicious."
"Salty?" Ruby said.
"They're fish eggs." Pyrrha said.
"Really? I thought they were more sweet. Have you eaten caviar?"
"Kinda. We have our own version. It's called "taramas" and it's known as the caviar of the poor. It's mashed, pink and it's really cheap."
"Cheap?" Yang said.
"Pink? Then it's the superior version!" Nora said.
"I doubt that." Weiss said.
"So you can find it at the supermarket?" Blake said.
"I don't know if they sell it in this kingdom." Pyrrha said.
"Don't ruin this for me..."
Judge: Ho ho! Caviar! I've never eaten caviar before!
Phoenix: (The judge is really wolfing it down...)
Angel: Ah, and for you... I have a Fiesta Bowl.
"The hell is that meal?" Yang said.
"It looks like rice with... colored cereal and big chocolate sprinkles." Jaune said.
Phoenix: Uh... thanks.
Edgeworth: Will the witness state her name and profession?
Angel: Ah, and you, sir... Did you order "The Fingerprint" lunchbox?
"That's just rice with black seeds!" Weiss said.
Edgeworth: It is too early for lunch. Your name and profession, please.
Angel: ... Well, Your Honor? How does it taste?
Judge: So this is why everyone raves about caviar! It's so tasty it hurts! I always thought caviar would taste like pickled tapioca.
"What does that taste like?!"
Phoenix: (What the heck does pickled tapioca taste like!?)
Edgeworth: (slams desk) Name. Profession. Now.
Angel: Me? The name is Angel Starr. Don't go forgetting it. I find myself running Lunchland these days. Is... that what you wanted me to say, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: Very well, witness. Please describe the incident to us.
Judge: The prosecution will wait! I'm not finished eating...
"Then hurry up." Yang said.
Phoenix: (Hurry it up!)
"... We should make this a drinking game. Every time we say the same thing with the game, we should take a shot."
"We'd get wasted within the first 15 minutes." Blake said.
Judge: Mmmm... Very well, Mr. Edgeworth. As you know, we usually call on the police to provide a description of the crime...
Angel: Your Honor, as Mr. Edgeworth has said to the court... I am a... "professional."
Judge: Uh... Huh? What exactly does that mean?
Edgeworth: Until two years ago, Ms. Angel Starr was a special investigator with the police. She was a first-rate homicide detective.
"I knew it! She is an ex-cop!" Yang said.
Ema: Wh-whaaaat!? Ms. Starr was a detective!?
Judge: ... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hah! I-I know who you are! Cough-up...!?
Angel: Cough-up Queen Angel Starr, Your Honor. Long time no see.
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: V-v-very well! Y-you may continue with the description, Ms. Starr!
Phoenix: (Just who is this lady!?)
Angel: If I might have the court's attention over here... The parking lot at the Prosecutor's Office is divided into two blocks. A Block is for the Prosecutor's Office personnel. B Block is for visitors and clients... A chain divider separates the two blocks.
Judge: I suppose that's to keep visitors from taking up prosecutor's spaces, yes.
Angel: The crime took place by a car in the back of A Block, in the car's trunk. The killer stabbed the victim with a knife and went to drive the body out. Unfortunately for her there was a witness, and an arrest was made on the spot.
Judge: And who was this valiant "witness"...?
Angel: Why, it was me, Your Honor.
(Floor Plans added to the Court Record.)
[Parking Lot Floor Plans: The parking lot with Edgeworth's car.]
Judge: Witness, did you see the very moment of the crime?
Angel: Of course, Your Honor. Immediately after that, I apprehended the Chief Prosecutor.
Judge: Hmm... It seems rather cut and dry, doesn't it? Well, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Uh... I can't agree on principle, Your Honor.
Angel: It seems that some poor losers are unwilling to accept the truth, Your Honor. Shall I proceed to crush what little hope they have remaining?
"We'll see about that." Ruby said.
Judge: If you can... Then give them your worst, Ms. Starr!
"What the heck, judge?!"
"Shut up, Mr. Wright! Let her enjoy this before you brutally own her!" Nora said.
Phoenix: (Wait, are they talking about me...!?)
Witness Testimony
- Witness's Account -
Angel: Somehow, I always knew a day like this would come.
I was on my way to deliver a lunchbox to my boyfriend...
"Which one?" Yang said.
When I sensed something... perhaps it was my finely-honed detective instincts working.
"Why does she look so scary here?!" Ruby said.
Through a wire fence, I saw the chief prosecutor standing next to a garish car.
The chief prosecutor was holding a knife in her right hand...
Then, she thrust the pointy tip of the knife into Detective Goodman's chest!
"I can't see anything wrong." Ruby said.
"Then you need to press a lot."
Judge: Hmm... Bringing a lunchbox to your boyfriend? How touching!
Edgeworth: Hmph. As you can see... There is no room for doubt.
Judge: The key "point" of your testimony seems to be nothing other than... the point of the knife which you saw being stabbed into Detective Goodman!
Angel: So... how does it feel to be so utterly crushed?
Phoenix: I... I'm still thinking about that.
Ema: I-it's merely a flesh wound, Mr. Wright!
Judge: Very well, Mr. Wright. You may cross-examine the witness.
Cross Examination
- Witness's Account -
(Presses statement 1)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! How did you know!?
Angel: I respect the prosecutors' basic abhorrence of crime. Yet their methods are ugly and twisted. Twisted methods will always lead to tragedy.
Edgeworth: (bows) The lunchlady's uninformed opinion is duly noted.
Angel: Given that they are used to erasing inconvenient evidence at their whim... Killing off a detective that knew too much is merely an extension of that.
Edgeworth: ...
Ema: Ms. Starr... do you have something personal against prosecutors?
Angel: I felt that I had found my dream job when I became an investigator... And if I hadn't been laid off by those prosecutors over there, I'd still be one.
Phoenix: Laid off...? (She was fired...)
"That's strange. She doesn't look incompetent. Why was she fired?" Weiss said.
Angel: To me, prosecutors are nothing more than worms. That said, I am a pro, as you know. My testimony is unbiased... and flawless.
Judge: Very well. You may continue, Ms. Starr.
(Presses statement 2)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! This boyfriend... he's the detective?
Angel: Not that boyfriend. The security guard.
Judge: Th-"that" boyfriend? You have... several?
Angel: Yes. "This" boyfriend, "that" boyfriend, and "the other" boyfriend. Care to join? The "yet another" boyfriend position is still open for applicants.
Judge: ... I-I'll stick with the lunch, thanks.
Ema: Note to self: the judge had to think before replying.
"He was considering it." Jaune said.
Angel: The security guard room is in the lot, in A Block. It's up on the second level so you can see everything from there.
Phoenix: (That would be the room with the "SECURITY" sign.) Incidentally, did you bring your lunchboxes by car?
Angel: Since I'm a visitor now, I parked in B Block.
Ema: So... she was in B Block when she witnessed the crime.
(Presses statement 3)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! You "sensed" something? So, you're saying you had a premonition of the murder?
Angel: It felt like... how would you say... Oh yes... It was like the feeling you get when you view a pumpkin chock full of seeds!
Judge: I have no idea what that means.
Phoenix: Speaking of a "detective's instincts"... Wasn't the victim, Mr. Bruce Goodman, also a detective?
Angel: Yes, well, he was like a young cheese.
Judge: A... young cheese?
Angel: A pale white cheese, not yet tangy with experience on the streets. A greenhorn.
Judge: Hmm... I, of course, am hard, yellowed, sharp as a tack.
Ema: Yeah, with the odor of an old cheese to match.
"What the fuck?! I'm not stinky! You're stinky!" Nova said. Everyone started laughing.
"Ooooh, get owned, judge!" Ruby said.
Angel: In any case, there, in the lot, I felt something stirring in the back of my mind...
(Presses statement 4)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! By "garish car," you mean...
Angel: Mr. Edgeworth's car, yes.
Judge: M-Mr. Edgeworth's!?
Angel: Incidentally, the knife with which the victim was stabbed was also Mr. Edgeworth's. Wasn't it?
Edgeworth: ... Indeed, it was.
"Can we please stop talking about it?" Yang said.
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Judge: Hmm! What an odd case this is. And the person you saw... you are sure it was the defendant?
Angel: I saw her from no further than thirty feet away. I am certain it was her.
Phoenix: (If she's telling the truth, we're doomed!)
Ema: Let's just do what we can! Even if we don't have any proof, we can always nitpick!
"We could always bitch about things."
"The Weiss strat."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Weiss said.
Phoenix: (slams desk) Witness! In your testimony, you clearly stated the following: Prosecutors are nothing more than worms. Ergo! (points) You are a biased witness!
"Don't steal my lines, Wright." Yang said.
Angel: You might want to keep those silly opinions to YOURSELF in the future, rookie.
Phoenix: Huh? Rookie?
Angel: Unless you're willing to risk the consequences of doubting me? I'll fry you like a fritter! Crispy on the outside... chewy on the inside!
Judge: That... That was inspiring!
"That was cringe."
Ema: I believe I've heard that tag line elsewhere... you could cry plagiarism?
Angel: I may be relegated to the lowly post of lunchlady... But my instincts are honed!
"That's... not good."
"Just "not good"? This is damning proof!" Weiss said.
"No, it's not!"
"Can you explain the bloodstain on her coat?"
"Uhhhh... she removed the knife and the victim bled on her?"
"Because she stabbed them."
"No! She just... found it there... because he was already dead!"
"Uh huh. Why? Why be there in the first place? Why would she know about the dead body?"
"I don't know... yet!"
"You're a great lawyer, sis." Yang said.
"No matter the context, her presence here is still suspicious." Pyrrha said.
Judge: A-a photograph! You took this!?
Angel: The moment I witnessed the crime, my reflexes took over and snap! I took a picture. In fact... One of my lunchboxes is rigged with a camera.
Phoenix: (I suppose that's more exciting than just hanging it around your neck.)
Edgeworth: Er... this is my first time seeing this photograph.
Angel: You think I'd show it to you, a prosecutor? Think again.
Edgeworth: ...!
Angel: My boyfriend works in the photography division of Criminal Affairs.
Judge: Well... This is most certainly the defendant!
(Crime Photo added to the Court Record.)
[Crime Photo: The moment of the crime as photographed by Angel Starr.]
Phoenix: (Uh oh, that is unmistakably Lana Skye!)
Edgeworth: So, what was the defendant doing at the time?
(Presents Crime Photo on statement 5)
"Wait, she wasn't holding a knife!" Ruby said.
"Unlike what you said a minute ago." Weiss said. Ruby started being upset, breathing angrily.
Phoenix: OBJECTION! And you witnessed this? You saw Ms. Skye stab the victim with the knife?
Angel: As I've already said, yes! I swear it on my finest "Salmon Swirl" lunch!
Judge: Hmm! I'm sure that is a fine lunch!
"That's just rice with sauce as a swirl and... soy sauce?" Yang said.
"No, it is salmon. It's just folded like that." Blake said.
"They turned salmon into a line?" Nora said.
"No, it's the edge of it!"
Phoenix: But... isn't that odd? Look at this photograph! This is the photograph you took of the very moment of the crime, is it not? Then why is Ms. Skye not holding a knife!?
"That's nothing, really." Ruby said.
Angel: ...
Edgeworth: ...
Judge: ... Ahem. Mr. Edgeworth, your thoughts?
"He's a moron." Yang said.
Edgeworth: Objection.
Some of them started laughing.
Phoenix: That had to be the weakest objection ever, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Yet, it was still stronger than your ever feeble mind, Mr. Wright.
"I knew he'd say something like that! That's why I didn't say anything." Yang said.
Judge: What do you mean, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: This photograph was not taken the moment before the stabbing... This was taken the moment AFTER the stabbing!
Phoenix: OBJECTION! A-and how can you tell that!?
Angel: Blood splatter.
Phoenix: Huh?
Angel: See the dark crimson stain on the Chief Prosecutor's coat?
Phoenix: (But it's a black-and-white photograph!)
Judge: Ah... yes, it's hard to tell, but this could be blood.
Edgeworth: Well, Mr. Wright? I see no problem here. No problem... except you.
Ema: Mr. Wright! Are you going to just sit there and take that kind of abuse!?
"Shut up, I'm thinking!" Jaune said. Some of them laughed.
"Okay. I'm not talking!" Ruby said.
Phoenix: (Argh... You got a better idea?)
[Objection!]
[No problem!]
(Picks Objection!)
Phoenix: (slams desk) Wait! That contradicts what the witness said in her testimony! (points) Namely, that she took the picture the "moment" she witnessed the crime!
Angel: Well, it seems I was slightly unclear. My apologies.
Phoenix: ...
Angel: ...
Phoenix: Th-that's it!?
Some of them laughed.
"What did you expect?" Blake said.
Angel: If you run out of lunch, you order seconds. Problem solved! If you don't like it, try ordering the jumbo sized lunch from the get-go!
Ema: Good advice. I'm not sure I understood it, but... good advice.
Angel: I didn't have time to stop her. Prosecutor Skye was cold, calculating, like a robot. She killed without pain or remorse! It was a premeditated murder!
Phoenix: OBJECTION! P-premeditated!? (points) How do you know!?
Edgeworth: Look at the chief prosecutor's hands in that photograph.
Judge: Well...! Are those... gloves?
Edgeworth: Surgical gloves made of thin rubber, most likely. Why would she have those on?
Phoenix: Uh...
Edgeworth: (slams desk) If it was not premeditated, she would not be wearing those gloves!
Phoenix: Waaaaaargh!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: These gloves do seem to tell a tale of premeditation!
Angel: Premeditated murder... a serious offense.
Judge: Witness! Add this to your testimony!
Angel: The murder was planned! The rubber gloves prove it!
"Hmm... wait, the murder weapon! The knife is Edgeworth's!" Ruby said.
"You're right, I forgot about it."
(Presents Edgeworth's Knife on statement 5A)
Phoenix: OBJECTION!
"Yes!" Ruby said.
Phoenix: Witness, do you know what this is?
Angel: Are you trying to test me? I sell box lunches for a living, you know. That's a knife. THE knife. The knife that was in Mr. Edgeworth's trunk!
Edgeworth: Indeed, it is my knife.
(There's noise in the gallery.)
What's with this case!?
The bloody murder weapon a red car... all belonging to the prosecutor there!?
The defendant is the chief prosecutor for the district, right?
Mommy, are prosecutors bad people?
"What was that child voice?!" Weiss said. Everyone started laughing.
"What? That's the voice I use." Yang said.
"What child sounds like that?" Pyrrha said.
"A Grimm probably. Mixed with a duck." Nora said.
"Or Ruby." Yang said. They started laughing again.
"No, that's just the voice you've given me!" Ruby said.
"It fits though."
"No, it doesn't!"
Phoenix: (slams desk) The defense has a request. (points) We ask that the witness provide an ACCURATE testimony.
Angel: What's that, Rookie?
Phoenix: In your testimony... You stated that Lana Skye planned this murder. And that's why she was wearing those special gloves.
Judge: Seems like a natural conclusion to me! The gloves do indicate planning...
Phoenix: However! Why would she not also prepare the most important thing... the murder weapon!?
Angel: Oh.
"Oh, she's nervous now." Yang said.
Phoenix: This knife just happened to be in the trunk of that car. (slams desk) Ladies and gentlemen, if you're going to plan a murder, you don't forget the weapon!
Angel: Ugh... Woooooooorrrgh!
"Eh. Do it again. Wasn't sexy enough."
"W-w-what do you mean?! Do you want me to moan?" Pyrrha said.
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Order!
Phoenix: (Great! Now the tide is turning in our favor!)
Ema: Great show, Mr. Wright! My sister's as good as free!
Edgeworth: (tsks and wags his finger) Wright. (points) I believe the next lunch you'll be eating is... humble pie!
Some of them laughed.
"I forgot that Edgeworth can also be cheeky." Yang said.
Phoenix: W-what!?
Edgeworth: I hope you weren't deluding yourself into thinking that the "tide has turned." (points) Not over such a trifling detail!
Phoenix: B-but this shoots a hole in the whole premeditated theory!
Edgeworth: Bah! The prosecution could care less if it was premeditated or not. The only one who seems to care is that lunchlady over there.
"Oh, right." Ruby said.
Angel: !
Edgeworth: The defendant, Lana Skye, murdered a detective with a knife. (shrugs) (points) That is the only thing the prosecution need prove. Nothing else.
Angel: Very good, Mr. Prosecutor... I suppose you think you're clever now? But you know as well as I do that she planned on killing him! It was planned! If it wasn't, why would she have been wearing...
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
"Alright, that's enough." Nora said.
"That's enough, you two." Yang said.
Judge: I believe I'd like to hear your testimony again.
Edgeworth: Witness, please tell us only what you "saw" not what you "thought."
Angel: How dare you! My powers of deduction are not to be underestimated!
Phoenix: (Really now...)
"Now I understand why she was fired." Weiss said.
Witness Testimony
- Angel's Deduction -
Angel: Lana Skye intended to murder Detective Goodman!
That's why she called the victim all the way to the Prosecutor's Office.
I'm sure the Chief Prosecutor had a grudge against the victim.
Nothing else could drive that human machine to plunge the knife in again and again...
Judge: The victim was summoned from the Police Department to the Prosecutor's Office.. It does sound a lot like premeditation, doesn't it!?
Ema: So, if I order pizza, does that mean I'm planning to kill the delivery boy?
"... I'm sorry, did I ask for your opinion?" Nora said.
"Why is everyone so mean to me?!" Ruby said.
Judge: In any case, the defense may now cross-examine the witness.
Cross Examination
- Angel's Deduction -
"Was he stabbed multiple times? Let me check." she said, before checking the autopsy. "There it is. Stabbed one time."
(Presents Goodman's Autopsy Report on statement 3)
Phoenix: OBJECTION! You say she stabbed him again and again... (points) But you couldn't have witnessed that!
Angel: Are you testing me...? Then I'll test you! With my Moss Surprise!
"THAT'S JUST GRASS!" Weiss said.
Edgeworth: (points) I'm afraid the moss is growing under our feet as we wait, Ms. Starr.
"Under those sweet, sexy feet of yours." Yang said.
"Don't start again."
"Those big, sexy, orange, dirty, crinkly feet." Nora said. Yang started laughing like crazy.
"Orange?!" Yang said.
"Yeah, like in that movie."
"What movie?!"
"Wait, I think I know which one you're talking about. But I thought they were more green than orange." Jaune said.
"No, they were definitely orange. They were huge, dirty and orange."
"Really? I could've sworn they looked green."
"What are you talking about?!" Weiss said and everyone laughed again.
Angel: ...!?
Judge: W-what do you mean?
Edgeworth: I shouldn't have to explain this... But, take a look. The autopsy report states that death was due to a loss of blood... from one stab wound.
Judge: Ah hah! You're right! Good show, Mr. Edgeworth!
Ema: What a hunk! He's my hero, really.
"What about me?" Jaune said.
Phoenix: (What about my objection? No one noticed?)
Everyone laughed.
"Wait a second. Be right back." Yang said. She gets up and goes to the kitchen. She returns with a bottle of whiskey and 8 glasses. "I'm back!"
"Where did you find that?"
"In a drawer. There's a secret compartment. Probably the previous team installed it."
"How were you able to buy it? You're not 18." Ren said.
"But Blake is."
"You bought it?" Weiss said.
"If it wasn't me, she would take my ID, disguise as me and buy it herself." Blake said.
"Yup." Yang said.
"How did you even smuggled that in?!" Weiss said.
"It wasn't difficult. Besides, how were you able to smuggle in a whole-ass computer?" Blake said.
"... Touché."
Judge: Well, witness?
Angel: You got the Crime Scene Set, right?
"A puddle of ketchup on rice... and a fork stuck on it. Who makes those meals?"
Judge: Uh... oh, thanks.
"Ketchup on rice? My favourite! Except, it's not, because I didn't know that was a thing." Nora said.
Angel: I always believed that no one could ever mistake ketchup for blood... But now, I realize that such mistakes are possible.
Edgeworth: So... (points) You're saying you mistook something... for blood?
Angel: When she lifted her knife, I thought I saw blood at her breast... Splattered blood from her victim! That's why I thought she must have stabbed him at least twice.
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Then tell us what you saw that you thought was blood! Testify!
Angel: ...
Angel: Her red muffler looked like blood to me... that's how ghastly the whole scene was.
"Red muffler? Was she wearing a muffler?" Pyrrha said.
"I don't think so." Blake said.
"No, she wasn't. See?" Ruby said after checking the photo.
(Presents Crime Photo on statement 3A)
Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Ms. Starr! I demand an explanation...
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"And I demand from you to shut up!" Yang said and made some of them laugh.
Edgeworth: The witness is clearly not suited for detective work.
Angel: W-what!?
Edgeworth: The suspect... (points) was not wearing a scarf or muffler of any kind when she stabbed the victim. And you've proved it yourself! With this photograph!
Angel: Huh? B-but that... That can't be!
Edgeworth: Only a true professional could be so clueless. (points) Congratulations. Perhaps you've finally found your true calling in life.
Judge: Hmm! Harsh words! But good!
"That was a good burn, my guy. I approve." Yang said.
"Your roasting skills are impressive. This pleases me." Nora said. Everyone started laughing.
Ema: In the end, Mr. Edgeworth prevails!
Phoenix: (What was my objection, chopped liver!?)
Angel: B-but it was there, a scarf, no, not that, but something red! Really!
Edgeworth: (slams desk) Well now, where were we? (points) The witness has given us an entertaining interlude, now back to business.
Angel: Wh-what!?
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Very well, witness, continue your testimony. You saw the crime, and apprehended the suspect... Tell us about that.
Angel: ... Very well. I do remember some things accurately, at least.
Phoenix: (Ultimately, we couldn't shake the most important part of her testimony.)
Ema: The most important part...?
"Did you read my mind? Seriously. It was in blue." Jaune said.
"... Science?" Ruby said.
"That's not how science works! That's magic! That's the opposite of science!" Weiss said.
Phoenix: The part where your sister stabs the victim! (This next testimony might just be the moment of truth!)
Witness Testimony
- Apprehending the Suspect -
Angel: After the murder, the suspect attempted to run behind a partition off to her side.
I quickly caught her, explained her rights to her, and arrested her on the spot.
Ah, yes. When I arrested her, she mentioned the muffler!
That's what had me confused in my earlier testimony!
The chief prosecutor made to escape, but against Angel Starr, resistance is futile!
Judge: You are quite determined about this scarf, aren't you?
Angel: I strike like a snake and bite like a cobra! That's me. Angel Starr.
"But a cobra is a snake." Pyrrha said.
Phoenix: That wasn't a very good metaphor. First of all, a cobra is a kind of snake.
"First shot." Yang said.
"Already? Fine." Pyrrha said, before taking a shot. "Woah, it's a bit heavy..."
Angel: Don't bother me with details, unless you want to get bitten!
Phoenix: N-no thanks!
Ema: Note to self: Attorney Wright gets bitten by snake.
Angel: The chief prosecutor tried to resist, but her efforts were in vain. She knocked my hands aside, kicked over an oil drum...
Phoenix: O-oil drum? (Hard to imagine...)
Angel: Oh, she's beautiful, but deadly! A predator, this one! A leopard woman! Rowr!
Pyrrha starts laughing. "I can't do this... First it was... I don't remember her name, and now her!"
"She loses all the respect I had for her more and more." Weiss said.
Judge: Very well, Mr. Wright. Your cross-examination, if you will.
Cross Examination
- Apprehending the Suspect -
(Presses statement 1)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! So where is this "partition" on the floor plans?
Edgeworth:I'm sure she means this wall next to the car.
Phoenix: (That's right... There was a wall there... about 6 feet high.)
Angel: She was obviously trying to hide herself. Quite a natural thing for a criminal to do!
Edgeworth: And what did you do then?
(Presses statement 2)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! You say "quickly"... were you close to the suspect?
Angel: As I just said! I was only 30 feet away from her the whole time.
Phoenix: (Hmm... maybe I should press her for more details?)
[Leave her alone]
[Press her]
(Picks Press her)
Phoenix: I'd like to see this on the floor plans, just to be safe. The Lunchland car was...
Edgeworth: She was a "visitor," thus, she was parked in B Block.
Phoenix: So, you witnessed the murder from... here?
Judge: That would make it about 30 feet from the car, yes.
Phoenix: Is that correct, Ms. Starr?
Angel: Y-yes, that's right.
Judge: But, there was a chain link fence in front of you...?
Angel: I went over it, of course.
Judge: Amazing! The Cough-up Queen, lunchlady athlete, indeed.
Ema: It would have taken her a little time to climb over the fence. So she couldn't have gotten to my sister THAT fast...
Phoenix: (Yeah, that fence was about nine feet high, too. How come Ms. Skye didn't get away?)
"She wanted to get caught?" Nora said.
"I don't think so." Blake said.
(Presses statement 3)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! She mentioned the muffler? What exactly did she say?
Angel: If I remembered exactly I would have told you in my testimony!
"Oh, so we're being funny now." Yang said.
Phoenix: (Cheeky!)
"Damnit." she said as she took a shot.
"That counts?" Jaune said.
"It was similar enough."
Angel: Anyway, all I heard her say was the word "muffler."
Judge: Just that one word?
Edgeworth: So... what you heard wasn't the suspect talking to you, but to someone else?
Angel: Yes. The chief prospector was talking on her phone!
Phoenix: (Her phone? She can't mean...)
[Ask further]
[Leave it be]
(Picks Ask further)
Phoenix: By phone... do you mean this cell phone, discovered at the crime scene?
Angel: Yes, ultimately.
Edgeworth: Ultimately?
Angel: My memory... it's like a salmon, heading upstream, you see.
"I don't get it." Ruby said.
Judge: N-no, the court doesn't see, Ms. Starr.
Angel: The chief prosecutor first attempted to use the phone hanging on the wall.
Judge: On the wall?
Phoenix: (That's right! Near the car... there was an emergency phone on the wall!)
Angel: Apparently, it was out of order.
Judge: And so she used her cell phone?
Edgeworth: Indeed, the emergency phone was out of order that day.
Judge: Hmm. Good witnessing, witness!
Phoenix: (Good witnessing? What ever happened to good testifying?)
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: You should of course add this to your testimony.
Angel: The things I do to please this rookie defense attorney.
(Cell phone updated in the Court Record.)
[Lana's Cell Phone: The word "muffler" was overheard during a call made to Ema at 5:18.]
Angel: I saw it all - how she tried the phone on the wall but had to use her cell instead.
(Presses statement 4A)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! Um... do you think you could restate your testimony for the court?
Judge: Ah hah! I was going to ask the same thing!
Angel: I'll only say this one time, so listen close, Rookies.
"Was she also addressing me? I'm a million years old, I ain't no rookie." Nora said.
Angel: The chief prosecutor stabbed the victim, and ran behind the partition. Then she picked up the emergency phone on the wall, but it was out of order. So she pulled her own cell phone out of her pocket.
"How did she know what she did? She was behind the partition." Yang said.
"That's the contradiction!" Ruby said.
Judge: And during that time, you climbed over the chain link fence...
Angel: Then, when I boldly grabbed her arm... The chief prosecutor hung up her phone!
Phoenix: And you saw her doing this?
Ema: ...? What is it, Mr. Wright?
(Presents Parking Lot Floor Plans on statement 4A)
Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Ms. Starr! I have to conclude that you have a personal grudge against Ms. Lana Skye.
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"And I have to conclude that your stupidity knows no limits!" Yang said.
"What's with all this hostility?" Jaune said.
"Now you know how it feels." Ruby said.
"No asked for your opinion, stupid."
"Screw you!". Everyone started laughing.
Edgeworth: The witness is a former detective. Her testimony is unmarred by personal bias.
Angel: Well, who would have thought you would be my knight in shining armor, prosecutor? You who, together with the chief prosecutor, kicked me out two years ago!
Edgeworth: ...
"And it was fucking hilarious." Yang said. Some of them started laughing.
"I'd do it again I had the chance." Nora said.
"When you ran out of the courthouse, crying, I laughed so hard." Ren said.
"Good one!"
"Thanks."
Phoenix: Well, Ms. Starr... This is a fatal contradiction with your testimony... (points) How do you explain this?
Angel: Hmph! I don't know what you're talking about. Mess with me... and I'll make you cough it ALL up!
Phoenix: Ahem. Let's look at the floor plans. You said you witnessed the crime from this point. However, if that's true... You couldn't possibly have seen Ms. Skye making that phone call!
Angel: ...!
Phoenix: I believe you see what I'm getting at. That emergency phone was on the back side of this partition. If, indeed, you were in B Block... You couldn't have seen it!
"I love that song so much!" Ruby said.
Angel: Wha... Waaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Judge: Order! Order! What is the meaning of this?
Phoenix: It's simple, Your Honor. She's not coughing up lunch... (points) she's coughing up lies!
Angel: Grrr!
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"That was a terrible comeback." Yang said.
"Says Mr. Humble Pie." Jaune said.
Edgeworth: That's quite a claim, Mr. Wright... perhaps you will allow me a question? (points) Tell us exactly what lie this witness has told the court!
Phoenix: (Here's where the counterattack begins! I can't afford to get this wrong!) The witness lied about...
[What she saw]
[Where she saw it]
[The order of events]
"It's the place she saw it from." Ruby said.
(Picks Where she saw it)
Phoenix: Ms. Skye tried to use the emergency phone... but it was out of order. What is significant about this fact? Nothing. It would be pointless for her to lie about it!
Judge: Pointless to lie... I see!
Phoenix: The witness did actually see Ms. Skye using the emergency phone. In other words... Ms. Starr witnessed the crime from a different location!
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! A different location!?
"Are you serious?!" Yang said.
"That's stupid!"
Edgeworth: (points) Now that's a pointless lie if I ever heard one!
Phoenix: OBJECTION!
"Your face is pointless!" Jaune said.
"Wow, epic comeback."
Phoenix: Before you call my lie pointless... (points) at least let me tell it!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Let me ask a question to our clever wordsmith, Mr. Wright. Just where was the witness when she saw the crime!?
Phoenix: (All the testimony we've heard until now points in one direction...) The place from where Ms. Starr witnessed this crime was... here!
"I mean... the only place was the security room."
(Presents Security room)
Phoenix: TAKE THAT!
"Hey, the health bar is still there- oh, okay, it's gone."
"Got scared for a bit?"
"Yeah."
Phoenix: (slams desk) This is the only place where she could have been.
Judge: The security guard room?
Edgeworth: Indeed, the security room in the underground parking lot is well positioned... It's built on the second level, so you can see the entire lot.
Judge: Hmm... She would have been able to see the emergency phone from there. But why there? There are many other places where she could have seen the phone.
Phoenix: Not in this case, Your Honor. The witness, not being part of the Prosecutor's Office, couldn't park in A Block. The only place where she could have seen the crime and the back of the partition is here. I remember in your testimony, you said... You brought a lunch to your "boyfriend" in the security guard room, yes? (slams desk) Well, Ms. Starr?
Angel: ... How many years have I been getting the better of men...? To think that the tables could be turned... Today, a man has got the better of Angel Starr!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Witness! What have you done!? You used to be a detective! You should know better!
Angel: I'm not turning back. The guilty will be punished. And I'll do what I must to make sure justice prevails.
Phoenix: (The guilty... is she talking about Ms. Skye...?)
Ema: Um, Mr. Wright? Doesn't this strike you as odd? Why did Ms. Starr lie? It doesn't make sense!
Phoenix: Huh?
Ema: She could have just said she saw the crime from the security guard station. It wouldn't change anything!
Edgeworth: Exactly! This photograph tells all! It was the defendant who stabbed the victim! (slams desk) That truth still stands!
Phoenix: OBJECTION! It "still stands"? I disagree, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Wh-what!?
Phoenix: If a witness is found to be lying, they're guilty of perjury. She knows this. She wouldn't risk that without a good reason!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: So, tell us what her reason was, Mr. Wright!
Phoenix: ... Huh? M-me?
Judge: Who else!?
"Uh, the witness?!" Weiss said.
Ema: Mr. Wright! Let's review what we know!
Phoenix: (Ms. Starr witnessed the crime from the security guard station... But she lied and said she saw it from B Block... It must make a vital difference... but what? What would change...?)
[Angle of view to the crime]
[Distance to the crime]
[Difference in lighting]
"That's tricky." Yang said.
"Difference in lighting, that's dumb. Angle of view... maybe it's that?" Ruby said.
"But that's the lie, not the reason." Blake said.
"It's the distance then? But why?"
"Maybe because the time it took her to get there was different?" Jaune said.
"Hmm... Let's see."
(Picks Distance to the crime)
Phoenix: (slams desk) It changes the distance between her and the scene of the crime!
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"You're fucking stupid, Wright." Yang said.
"You're a fucking moron." Nora said.
Edgeworth: My condolences, Mr. Wright... But one look at the floor plans and it's quite clear. The distance between the scene of the crime and the guard station is 30 feet. I don't see how that would change what she could see.
Phoenix: OBJECTION! What she saw is not in question here. What matters is the time it would take her to reach the scene of the crime!
Edgeworth: ...!
Phoenix: Ms. Starr! You witnessed the crime from the security guard station! Now, how long did it take you to go from there... (points) to the scene of the crime, where you arrested Ms. Skye!?
Angel: ...
Judge: Well, witness?
Angel: You...
Phoenix: Y-yes...?
Angel: You ordered the Squid Wheels, right?
"Okay, these are just rubber bands." Blake said.
Phoenix: (The quality of my lunches has gone from low to inedible.)
Angel: I was bringing a PB&J lunch with fresh boysenberry jam to my boyfriend.
"What's boysenberry? I want to try it!" Ruby said.
Judge: Hmm... Boysenberry for the boyfriend!
Angel: He wasn't in the station, so I waited. I witnessed the crime from the glass-walled station... and before I knew what I was doing, I found myself running towards the scene. But... the door was locked. I couldn't open it. That's why I had to go through the visitor's parking in B Block.
Judge: That's quite a detour.
Angel: It probably took me at least five minutes to get to the scene of the crime.
Judge: F-f-f-five minutes!?
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Judge: Hmm... This changes things considerably!
Angel: But, it was that woman over there in the defendant's chair who stabbed him! I know it! I have photographic evidence! I swear it... I swear it on my finest plastic spork!
Suddenly, Pyrrha started laughing for no reason.
"Was it that funny?" Ren said.
"I'm sorry, it's just... For some reason, I never expected that sentence to come out of that character." Pyrrha said.
"Was it the spork?" Yang said.
"Yeah..."
Judge: You have a point. And the spork is a wonderful invention.
Angel: Would you like another Caviar Lunch...?
Judge: Absolutely!
Phoenix: (Uh oh...)
Ema: Mr. Wright! You have to do something!
Phoenix: (Do I have any evidence to stop this...?)
[Raise an objection]
[Sit back and observe]
"My badge? That worked in the past." Jaune said.
"I want to eat that badge." Nora said.
"No."
"Do I have anything to present?" Ruby said.
(Picks Raise an objection)
Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Five minutes between the witnessing of the murder and the arrest! Think about it! (points) You could make pasta in that amount of time! If you like it al dente!
Angel: I've got lunchboxes that tie pasta into knots, Rookie!
Phoenix: A five minute "blank"... Isn't that strange!?
Edgeworth: Strange...?
Phoenix: If you were a criminal... What would you do with five minutes, Your Honor?
Judge: Well, um... I guess I'd flee the scene. Hey! D-don't get the wrong idea! I didn't kill anyone...
"Especially not with a spork!" Nora said.
"How do you kill someone with a spork?" Weiss said.
"The same way you kill someone with a knife."
"But it's not sharp enough!"
"What if it was a comically large spork?" Ruby said.
"That's just a shovel!"
"I can't imagine anyone with a comically large spork as a weapon." Yang said.
Phoenix: (slams desk) But you have the instincts of a killer! You would run! (points) But this time was different! Ms. Skye dawdled at the scene of the crime... she even had her picture taken! No true criminal would act this way! It's inconceivable!
Angel: Y- yeeeaaargh!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Well then. It seems we've come to the end of this testimony. She has a grudge against the defendant, and there is a blank in her testimony.
Angel: ...!
Judge: Mr. Edgeworth, is the next witness ready to go?
Edgeworth: Unfortunately... (points) I appear to have overestimated this witness on account of her professional history...
Ema: We did it! We screwed that can shut, Mr. Wright!
Phoenix: (Th-that was too close!)
Judge: I'm afraid that the Cough-up Queen has been dethroned. And with that, court is adjourned!
"We can take a small break n-" Ruby said.
HOLD IT!
"OH, COME ON! JUST GIVE UP, LADY!"
Angel: Mr. Edgeworth, you ordered the Squid Wheels, right?
Phoenix: (That's the one she tried to foist off on me!)
Edgeworth: I prefer to not take the defense team's leftovers. Anything else to say?
Angel: I... might be able to save you. I have decisive evidence.
"Then why didn't you present it at the beginning?!" Weiss said.
Judge: Wh-what was that!?
Phoenix: (Is this another one of her trick lunchboxes!?)
Judge: My apologies, but we have no further questions to ask of you, Ms. Starr.
Angel: Ah... Is this your jumbo lunchbox?
"A triple-decker?! The trial continues!" Nora said.
Judge: Whoo hoo! A triple-decker!
"... Cheers!" she said as she drank a shot. "Wow, you're right, it is heavy."
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Out of deference to the witness's determination, I'll allow one more testimony! Let's hear about this decisive evidence.
"Do I have to take another one?"
"No, that's enough." Yang said.
Angel: Like the Lunchland motto says, you won't be disappointed!
Phoenix: (What's she going to pull out of her lunchbox this time!?)
Witness Testimony
- Decisive Evidence -
Angel: I should have mentioned those five minutes when I wasn't looking at the crime scene.
And now, to the matter of the victim's shoe... Did I not bring this up...?
Two types of blood were found on this shoe!
One was of course the victim's.
And the other was...! The defendant, Ms. Lana Skye's blood!
This shoe proves it! It's flawless, decisive evidence!
"How am I going to disprove that?!" Ruby said.
Judge: Wh-what!? There was blood found on that shoe!?
Angel: Try Lunchland, for all your lunch and decisive evidence needs!
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! Witness, what's the meaning of this? (points) Why is this the first time I've heard of this evidence?
Angel: Simple. As I've already said... I don't trust you with evidence, Mr. Edgeworth! That's why I took the liberty of investigating this myself.
Edgeworth: And... you had blood tests performed?
"Is that even allowed?" Jaune said.
"No." Weiss said.
Angel: Didn't I mention? I have three boyfriends in forensics.
"One for sex, one for blowjobs-" Yang said.
"Stop!" Ruby said.
Edgeworth: (slams desk) In any case, Your Honor, (points) I can't accept this as evidence!
Angel: What...?
"You're being mean to me." Nora said. Some of them started laughing.
"I don't like you." Yang said.
Edgeworth: You should know the two rules of evidence law, Ms. Starr! Rule 1: no evidence shall be shown without the approval of the Police Department! (points) In other words, this shoe is illegal evidence! At least, for the time being!
Ema: I-is that right, Mr. Wright!?
Phoenix: It seems so. Edgeworth sure is celebrating.
Angel: Not so fast, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: ...!
Angel: Don't forget... I used to be a detective! As I mentioned previously... This shoe has already been tested by a member of the forensics department! As you can see, it was approved by the Police Department as of... today. Even the general public can produce official evidence, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Nuh... Ungh!
Ema: I-is that right, Mr. Wright!?
Phoenix: It seems so. Edgeworth is looking pretty sullen.
"Looking pretty sus." Nora said.
Ema: You could at least study some evidence law! Really!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: The prosecution's complaints notwithstanding... It appears that this evidence satisfies the first rule of evidence law. Well... It seems you have yet another count against you, witness.
Angel: Anything to ensure that the guilty are properly judged.
(Victim's Shoe added to the Court Record.)
[Victim's Shoe: White enamel shoe. Bears traces of blood from Goodman and Lana Skye.]
Judge: Very well, Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness!
"Aren't you going to examine the evidence?" Ren said.
"What? Oh yeah, the new game mechanic!" Ruby said.
(Examines Blood on Victim's Shoe)
Ema: This blood... It's my sister's, right?
Phoenix: It appears so. (Lana's right hand was bandaged when I saw her in jail. She must have cut herself at the time of the crime...)
Ema: Poor Sis...
"Is there anything else on it- woah, mama!"
"How did they miss that?" Yang said.
(Exmaines Blood under Victim's Shoe)
Ema: AAAH! There's blood here too!
Phoenix: On the sole of the shoe? It's got to be the victim's. He must have stepped in a puddle of his own blood.
Ema: All this blood... It's horrible!
"Get used to it. That's your future career." Weiss said.
"A puddle of blood?" Ruby said.
"... Very funny."
"Wasn't the floor clean? It didn't have any blood in the photo." Jaune said.
"Huh. You're right!" Ruby said as she checked the court record.
Phoenix: (Hmm... This blood might be an important clue...)
Cross Examination
- Decisive Evidence -
"I think that's the statement where I present the shoe. Aaaand... Objection!" Ruby said.
(Presents Victim's Shoe on statement 5)
Phoenix: OBJECTION!
"The music didn't stop." Blake said.
"What?!"
Phoenix: Your Honor! That statement contradicts this evidence!
Judge: ...? It does? I don't see anything contradictory...
Phoenix: Huh? Really?
Judge: Objection overruled. Try to think before you make accusations, Mr. Wright!
Phoenix: (Whoops! That didn't go so well.)
"Boom goes your HP bar!" Nora said.
"But... but why?!"
"Maybe you need to press first?" Jaune said.
"Do I really have to press it?"
(Presses statement 5)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! (I can't let this evidence go through without a fight!)
Angel: You ordered the peppered fish guts, right?
"Eugh, they look raw." Yang said.
Phoenix: ...!
Angel: Some like it hot, Mr. Wright. Some, like your client. She's in enough hot water to make a whole batch of soup.
Ema: Mr. Wright! Do you or don't you have a problem with this shoe!?
Phoenix: A problem...? (This is critical! What's wrong with the victim's shoe?)
[There's no problem]
[There's a problem]
(Picks There's a problem)
Phoenix: If I'm not imagining things... I'd say there is one critical problem with this evidence... (points) A clear contradiction!
Angel: That gleam in your eyes... You're still young, Rookie. I'd give you a peppered fish gut now, but you couldn't take the heat, could you!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Let's hear what Mr. Wright has to say! What is contradictory about the victim's shoe? Show us the problem with this evidence!
"Oh, now I present it! That's bullshit."
"Welcome to the club." her teammates said.
(Presents Blood under Victim's Shoe)
Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) I wonder if you noticed... there's blood on the bottom of this shoe!
Angel: Don't mess with me, Rookie... Or it'll be your blood on the bottom of my shoe!
Judge: Hmm... Indeed, there is quite a bit of blood on the bottom of the shoe.
"A bit?" Blake said.
Edgeworth: It makes sense. The victim was stabbed with a knife! (slams desk) What could possibly be contradictory about blood on the bottom of his shoe!?
"And now the crime photo." Ruby said.
(Presents Crime Photo)
Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) The problem lies... in the footprint.
Angel: The... footprint?
Phoenix: Note that the bottom of the victim's shoe is covered in blood. Then... isn't it strange? (points) Why weren't any bloody footprints found by the scene of the crime!?
Judge: Ah hah!
Phoenix: As you can see... There were no traces of any such footprints at the scene of the crime! That contradicts your claim about this shoe!
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"Stop winning." Yang said .
Edgeworth: (slams desk) This picture only shows part of the floor, so there could have been bloody footprints.
Phoenix: OBJECTION!
"Fuck you, I'll keep winning." Jaune said.
Phoenix: (slams desk) If there were bloody prints they would have been found. We checked the scene and found nothing of the sort!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Order! Well, witness!?
Angel: What!? Huh? I, uh...
Ema: Great going, Mr. Wright! But... It's true that the lack of a footprint is a contradiction... But then we have to ask why there wasn't a footprint!
Phoenix: Oh!
Judge: That's true! There has to be a reason why there wasn't a footprint!
Ema: Think, Mr. Wright, think!
Phoenix: ... Hey, I don't know why it's not there. I'm just good at finding contradictions.
Ema: What!?
HOLD IT!
"She has more to add?! Oh, it's Edgeworth." Ruby said.
Edgeworth: (tsks and wags his finger) I see... Now I get it!
Phoenix: (Get what!?)
Edgeworth: Our witness is more devious than I gave her credit for! (points) We were hoodwinked to the very end! But she slipped! There is one vital hint to the truth in her testimony...
Judge: Wh-what are you talking about?
Edgeworth: Think back to when she told us about apprehending the suspect...
(Flashback)
Angel: The chief prosecutor tried to resist, but her efforts were in vain. She knocked my hands aside, kicked over an oil drum... Oh, she's beautiful, but deadly! A predator, this one! A leopard woman! Rowr!
(End of flashback)
"It just got washed off? With oil?"
"It was probably full of water." Blake said.
Edgeworth: I thought that was a strange thing for the normally cool-headed chief to do.
Phoenix: (No kidding!)
Edgeworth: (points) Now, witness. Allow me to ask a very simple question. This "oil drum"... was it empty?
Angel: ... Oh, that, hmm? I'm not sure I like your attitude, Mr. Edgeworth. Though apparently you're not the slowest conveyor belt in the lunchbox factory.
Judge: Witness! W-well? Was the oil drum empty...?
Angel: The oil drum kicked over by the chief prosecutor... was brimming with water.
"There it is."
Phoenix: W-water? (What does that mean?)
"Think! It's not that difficult to understand! Why are protagonists always like this?! Is this some kind of trope? It's so annoying!" Weiss said.
"Now Ice Queen is ranting. But you're right. It's like the writers think the audience is full of dumb children so they're making the characters as slow." Yang said.
"Isn't the game T-rated?" Jaune said.
Edgeworth: Still don't get it, Mr. Wright? Do you want to know the reason she knocked it over? (points) The REAL reason?
Judge: Aaaa haaaaah! You don't mean...!
"Even the judge figured it out before Phoenix." Nora said.
Edgeworth: Yes, the suspect knocked over that oil drum for one reason and one reason alone! (slams desk) To erase the blood stains that would become evidence against her!
Phoenix: Whaaaaaaaaargh!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: That ties things up quite nicely! The blood stains left on the victim's shoes tie her quite clearly to this murder! Then, after the deed was done, she knocked over the oil drum to erase the telltale signs!
Angel: Why, that's a prosecutor's specialty... erasing evidence!
Phoenix: (That reminds me... Ms. Skye's right hand was hurt... Didn't she say she'd cut herself when she stabbed him...?)
Ema: So my sister's blood on the shoe... That's when it happened?
Judge: Well... I see no reason to prolong this trial.
Ema: M-Mr. Wright! Do something! Please!
Phoenix: W-what!? What can I do? Your sister has confessed to the crime, and she tried to conceal it!
Ema: B-but...
Edgeworth: (slams desk) Enough. There is no need for further debate. (points) The verdict, Your Honor!
Judge: Very well...
Ema: But Angel Starr is on the prosecution's side! She could have been lying about the water!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: This court finds the defendant, Ms. Lana Skye...
"Who's goint to interrupt?" Yang said.
HOLD IT!
"There it is."
Angel: Little girl... What did you just say?
Ema: Huh...? M-me?
Angel: Did you say that I, Angel Starr... was on the prosecution's side?
"Her pride was stained." Yang said.
Ema: W-well, yeah, you are! You're saying my sister hid evidence by erasing the bloody footprints!
Angel: Well. I thought you'd had your fill, but here you are, demanding a second helping! Another lunchbox... A lunchbox called "evidence"!
"Why...? He was about to declare her guilty... YOU ALMOST WON! YOU IMBECILE!" Weiss said.
"Okay, that's a better meal. Beans, corn... some pieces of raw fish in the middle- what?" Pyrrha said.
Judge: W-wait... Witness, don't tell me you have something else?
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! (slams desk) The time for deliberations is past. (points) Any further comments will be held in contempt of court!
Angel: Your threats don't scare the Cough-up Queen! Look at this!
"Another photo?" Ruby said.
"This woman is unbelievable. You deserved getting fired." Weiss said.
Judge: A photograph...?
Angel: I had this just in case anyone had the gall to suggest... that the white shoe didn't belong to the victim!
Judge: Hmm... I see no room for error in this evidence.
Ema: M-Mr. Wright, wait! Look at the asphalt in this photo!
Phoenix: Hey! It's clearly wet!
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Erasing the last trace of doubt from the court's mind. Immediately after the murder, the crime scene was washed with water!
Ema: I-I'm sorry, Mr. Wright. I guess I... I couldn't help after all.
Phoenix: (It's not your fault... I knew I couldn't win this case from the beginning. And... it seems this is what your sister wanted anyway! ... I'm sorry, Mia...) ... ... ...
Wright... wet or not...
Don't be so quick to throw in the towel...
"*gasp* Mia!" Ruby said.
"Mia! *grunts* *moans* Mia..." Yang said. Some of them started laughing.
"He got really horny." Nora said.
"In front of everyone." Jaune said.
"*moans* Tits..." Yang said.
"Sex." Nora said and Yang started laughing.
"Sex! SEX!"
"Mr. Wright, what the fuck are you doing?". Everyone laughed this time.
Phoenix: ...!
Get yourself up off the asphalt... take another good look...
Don't give up... Not until the bitter end.
Phoenix: (This is the last piece of evidence...)
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Very well! This time I'd like to declare a verdict for good!
Phoenix: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Your Honor, wait!
"DAMNIT! STOP INTERRUPTING ME AND LET ME DECLARE THE VERDICT!" Nora said.
"No." Ruby said.
"The audacity of this bitch.". Some of them laughed.
Judge: What is it with you people!? Can't I hand down my verdicts in peace anymore!?
Everyone started laughing.
"Second one already. Okay." she said as she drank a shot.
Judge: Whatever it is, can it wait?
Phoenix: N-no it can't. Then it will be too late! Look at this photograph, the last one submitted... This trial isn't over... until we give each piece of evidence proper consideration!
Edgeworth: So, Wright... Are you saying there's a problem with this latest piece of evidence?
Phoenix: Yeah! (I'll think later!) Yeah, there's a problem! (Right or wrong, I've got to go ahead with this!)
"It's bullshit time!" Jaune said.
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: I suppose since we've come this far, we should give every claim a fair shake. Very well, Mr. Wright. Show the court the problem in this photograph!
"What could be wrong in the image? There's nothing on the victim. Besides the knife." Ruby said.
"And that piece of cloth in the car's muffler." Yang said.
"... THE MUFFLER!"
"Imagine if that was Starr's reaction." Nora said.
"Yeah. See?! I told you about the muffler! I'm not crazy!" Yang said.
(Presents Muffler)
Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) The problem in this photograph... is here!
Edgeworth: What's this...? There's something poking out of the car's muffler!
Judge: Wait just a moment, Mr. Edgeworth!
Edgeworth: Your Honor?
Judge: You just said "muffler"... However I see no trace of a muffler or scarf of any kind in this photograph!
Edgeworth: ... A muffler is also a part on a car or motorcycle, Your Honor. (points) Just think of it as... part of the exhaust system. A pipe...
Judge: I see! And... I see! What's that suspicious-looking cloth sticking out of the car's muffler?
Angel: Hmph! So what if there is something sticking out of the muffler! What does that have to do with this case? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
"You d-... You fucking moron... I can't believe it..." Weiss said.
Phoenix: OBJECTION! Sorry, Ms. Starr... But it's not going to be that easy! In fact, you've already told us why this is important to the case... You said as much in your testimony!
Angel: Wh-what!?
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Let's hear what Mr. Wright has on his mind! Tell us why you think this piece of cloth in the muffler is related to this case.
"Huh? Isn't her testimony enough?" Ruby said.
"There must be something you can present." Jaune said.
"Okay... I know what to do."
"You do?" Yang said.
"Yes.". And then she saves the game.
"Really?" Weiss said.
"What? Because you didn't use savestates? Well, unlike you I'm not stupid. Now, what should I present?"
"Maybe it's the cell phone? She said she mentioned the muffler while using it." Pyrrha said.
"Let's see."
(Presents Lana's Cell Phone)
Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) Ms. Starr! Recall your testimony for the court...
(Flashback)
Angel: Ah yes. When I arrested her, she mentioned the muffler! That's what had me confused in my earlier testimony!
(End of flashback)
Angel: Muffler! argh! Yeearrrrgh!
Phoenix: Could it be that the "muffler" you heard mentioned... Was actually this exhaust pipe!? (slams desk) If so! That means this piece of cloth is vital evidence!
Angel: Oh... Whooooooooooo ooooooooooooragh!
"Eh. Not horny enough." Yang said.
"I'm not doing it!" Pyrrha said.
"I'll do it!" Nora said. She clears her throat and does a monster roar.
"Damn. I'd fuck that." Yang said.
Judge: Well... It seems we will have to suspend the proceedings.
Angel: Sus... Suspend!?
Judge: I find myself wondering about that piece of cloth. If we leave any question unanswered here we do a disservice to the law! Have the car at the crime scene inspected at once, and bring me that cloth! The verdict will wait until after we've seen all the evidence. Agreed...?
Edgeworth: ... I suppose so.
Phoenix: (Whew... that was close. But... we made it... at least for now!)
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: The court will adjourn for a thirty minute recess! It's lunchtime after all!
Phoenix: (He's still hungry!?)
"Have your brought a pancake meal with you?" Nora said.
To be continued
"Do we continue the trial or we take a break?" Ruby said.
"Finish the trial first." Blake said.
"Yeah, continue." Yang said. Everyone else agreed.
"Okay." Ruby said.
February 23, 11:56 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 2
Ema: Um... Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: Huh? What?
"Why did you say it like that? You sounded upset."
"What?! What do you want?!" Jaune said.
"You stupid child!" Nora said.
Ema: Are trials... always like this with you? Like you're swimming up from the bottom of a lake, about to reach the surface... But no matter how hard you paddle you never seem to get there...
Phoenix: Pretty much. Except today we're swimming in quicksand. So what happened to your sister, anyway?
Ema: Apparently she got called off to the judge's chambers.
Phoenix: Hmm... Probably something to do with that piece of cloth.
Ema: So! This is where we turn this trial around, right? Our only weapon, a tiny, insignificant piece of cloth!
Phoenix: I'm the one who's starting to feel tiny and insignificant to tell the truth.
?: Hola, Pardner!
"Hey, it's the cowboy." Yang said.
(Officer Marshall enters the scene.)
Marshall: They say you show a red cloth to a bull, it'll fire up its temper! That's what they told me when I was a young'un, at least.
Ema: Officer Marshall!
Marshall: Thought I'd come take a look-see at how the trial's going. Looks like I'm late. They've got the place locked down tighter than a fort in enemy territory!
Phoenix: What is going on over there, anyway? All the police I've seen these last two days have been really on edge.
Marshall: Don't you got enough on your plate without worrying about other people, compadre? You could be worrying about the chief prosecutor's taste in mufflers, for example.
Ema: Um... Officer Marshall? The whole "muffler" thing didn't have anything to do with scarves... She wasn't even wearing a scarf!
Marshall: You don't say? Now don't that just beat all.
Ema: ...?
Marshall: I've seen the red breeze blow at her slender neck many a time... I saw it that day, too. She was wearing a red muffler.
Ema: What!?
Marshall: At the awards ceremony that afternoon. Edgeworth's seen it too, I'd reckon.
Phoenix: (What does that mean!? In the photograph taken at the crime scene... she wasn't wearing a scarf!)
Ema: So, Ms. Starr wasn't mistaken...
Marshall: Well, it's about time. Remember, pardner, sometimes you gotta grab the bull by the horns... and sometimes you just gotta let that bull go where it will. Time will tell!
Phoenix: (Ugh... I have a bad feeling about this.)
Ema: So... what are we swimming in now, Mr. Wright?
"Cum." Yang said.
"Wow. That was very funny." Blake said.
"Hilarious, actually." Ruby said.
"Where did you take it from? There's no way you came up with it yourself." Nora said.
"Fuck you, guys. I made a shitty joke and you start piling on me." Yang said.
Marshall: If it's steak sauce, I can hook you up with some fine ribs! Ooh-wee!
"Yeehaw! And other cowboy noises."
February 23, 12:32 PM
District Court
Courtroom No. 9
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: I'd... like to... resume...?
"Sorry, I'm late. I accidentally stained my robe while I was eating at the monkey bars." Nora said.
"Expected."
Phoenix: (What's up? The judge keeps looking over at the prosecution...)
"Why is Edgeworth tense?" Ruby said.
Judge: Is something wrong, Mr. Edgeworth? Your face is blue, your lips are purple, you're sweating bullets...
"Your head is shaking, your frow is burrowing, you're pissing your pants, you're shitting bricks, you're shooting out strings of cum!" Nora said and everyone started laughing.
"Strings?! Who cums in strings?!" Yang said.
"While also pissing?!" Blake said.
Judge: That furrowed brow, those grinding teeth, those watery eyes... What's more your eyes are unfocused, you're doubled over, your back is bent...
"Your butt is clenched, your sphincter is tight, your pants are wet, your penis is glistening!" Nora continued, making everyone laugh even more.
"I think you surpassed yourself in improv." Ren said.
"Thank you."
Edgeworth: (slams desk) It... can't... be! This... can't... happen!
Ema: I wonder what happened to Mr. Edgeworth?
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Well then, I believe it is time we continued on with this trial. During our recess I had requested that the prosecution conduct an investigation...
Edgeworth: Th-this is unacceptable!
Judge: Hmm... It seems our prosecutor is quite beside himself.
?: Ah, er, excuse me. Knock knock?
Judge: ...? Who's there?
"Woah! Who's that guy?" Ruby said.
"Man, that guy radiates power!" Yang said.
"Not more than Von Karma." Jaune said.
"No, it just feels different. Like a strong current."
"He definitely feels electrifying." Blake said.
"Can I voice him?!" Nora said.
"He's all yours." Ruby said.
"Yes!"
Phoenix: (What's with this guy? A strange, stuffy aura seems to be filling the courtroom.)
Ema: Hey! The temperature rose 5.7 degrees when that man came in!
"His sheer aura affects the courtroom!" Ruby said.
"It affects us too!" Nora said.
Phoenix: (Who on earth is he...?)
Judge: Ah, it's you...
"Did... did the game freeze?" Jaune said.
"No, he just blinked." Ren said.
"Then why the long pause?" Weiss said.
?: Oh! Oh, heh heh. Sorry I'm late, Udgey!
"Udgey?" Blake said.
?: The roads were packed. It's just me! Long time no see, eh, Udgey? (claps while laughing) How ya been? Swim much these days!
"Why do you make him sound like a... like a game show host?"
"Those are the vibes I'm getting from him." Nora said.
Judge: Ah! Hello, hello. No, I've been so busy...
?: Busy! Busy-smizzy, Udgey, my boy! You have to make time to relax!
"I love that character already."
Judge: Y-yes, indeed.
Ema: Udgey... seems to be his nickname for the judge...?
Phoenix: I'm afraid you're right. Very afraid. Um... sorry, but... who are you?
?: Ah hah! So you're Wrighto! The attorney! I've heard good things about you, son!
Phoenix: Eh? Uh, th-thanks...?
?: So sorry about our little Worthy giving you all that trouble, eh? You know, we should all go swimming together sometime! Jolly!
Phoenix: L... Little Worthy...?
Judge: Mr. Wright! You don't know the district Chief of Police!?
"That's the chief of police?! He looks so cool!"
"The question is what's he doing here?" Blake said.
Phoenix: Ch... Chief of Police...!?
Judge: He's the top ranking police officer in the entire district!
"There's that pause again." Yang said.
Gant: Name's Gant, Damon Gant. Pleased to meet you, everyone!
"Ah, I get it. Giant demon."
Judge: So, uh, to what do we owe this honor today? It's been over... two years since you last came to this courtroom, hasn't it?
Gant: Well, it's Worthy, here. Look at the poor fellow! I just thought I'd help out... by bringing this.
"The muffler?" Ruby said.
Phoenix: Hey! Th-that's...!
Ema: My sister's muffler!
Phoenix: (So Ms. Starr wasn't just seeing things! When the crime occurred, Ms. Skye really was wearing that muffler!)
Gant: But to think that it was stuffed into that exhaust pipe... On little Worthy's car, no less!
"Don't pause there!" Weiss said.
Gant:It's really quite embarrassing, even for us.
"7 seconds." Jaune said.
Judge: Wh-what's this!?
Gant: It's what you'd call a switchblade knife. Quite perplexing, this.
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Chief! (points) What kind of outfit are you running!?
"An orange one." Nora said.
"I saw that coming." Ren said.
Judge: M-Mr. Edgeworth!
Edgeworth: How could they miss such a vital piece of evidence!? If your investigators are this lax, how do you expect us to do our job?
Gant: N-now wait a minute, Worthy!
Edgeworth: (points) I've no desire to hear your excuses!
Gant: I'm telling you to wait! Or didn't you hear me?
"He's very scary when he's serious." Jaune said.
"And Nora's performance is really good." Yang said.
"Thank you." Nora said.
Edgeworth: ...!
Gant: Have a look at this document, where it says "person in charge of investigation"... There's no mistaking that signature... Miles Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: Th-that's no fair! The day of the crime, I-I had...
Gant: Your head in the clouds because you got that award! I know how you feel... But you're the person in charge. I'll expect a written apology.
Edgeworth: What? Are you serious!?
Gant: Don't be too upset, we'll find a way to clean up this mess... that you made.
Edgeworth: ...!
Ema: This is the first time I've seen Mr. Edgeworth at a loss for words...
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: This kind of major blunder is unlike you Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Gah...!
Judge: The court accepts this new evidence. But, I'd like to ask the defense a favor first.
Phoenix: Y-yes?
Judge: Just to be sure... I'd like to take a look at the blade of this knife.
Phoenix: The b-blade, Your Honor? Well, I don't see why not...
Judge: Could you open it up for me, I wonder?
Phoenix: Yes, well. I think all you have to do is push that switch, and...
Judge: If I cut my finger Mr. Wright, I wouldn't be able to pound my gavel anymore.
"If it's more than one finger." Yang said.
Phoenix: (Yeah. But if I cut my finger, I wouldn't be able to point it at people anymore...)
"Get on with it." Blake said.
Ema: Come on! Just hurry up and open it!
(Examines Switch on Switchblade Knife)
Ema: Waaaah! D-don't scare me like that!
Phoenix: I'm the one who's scared!
"It's just a switchblade knife. They're being babies." Ruby said.
"You're being too harsh on them." Yang said.
Ema: Look at this knife blade... the tip is broken off.
Phoenix: (And this dark red stain... blood?)
(Switchblade Knife added to the Court Record.)
[Switchblade Knife: Found at the crime scene, wrapped in the defendant's muffler. Small tag attached.]
Edgeworth: This does not excuse the actions of the Police Department! (points) I would like to hear an explanation from the Chief of Police himself!
"Hey, I'm not done with the knife." Ruby said.
(Examines Tag on Switchblade Knife)
Ema: There's a small tag on the knife.
Phoenix: It says, "SL-9 2."
Ema: What's that supposed to mean?
"It's probably the case number."
Phoenix: I'm not sure... (But it reminds me of a similar code... "DL-6." Maybe it's a case number?)
"I'm not bothering with this." Weiss said.
Ema: That's weird.
Phoenix: What?
Ema: I don't remember where... but I think I've seen something like this before. Something similar to what's written on this tag. It wasn't that long ago either...
Phoenix: (Maybe I should check the Court Record again.)
"There is? Let me see... Oh, it's that note! It says SL-9 upside down!" Ruby said.
"Another case connected to our case." Jaune said.
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: I'm terribly sorry, but could I ask you to testify for us? About the split between the prosecutors and the police... and this knife.
Gant: (claps while laughing) Sure! Sure thing. Not a problem, not even a little one! Really!
Witness Testimony
- Department in Disorder -
Gant: This knife is special... but I can't say how here.
Unless there's evidence to prove a connection between this knife and Goodman...
That was a bad day for the Department. We weren't in any shape to do an investigation.
A detective was killed at the Police Department, see... what a mess!
"Another murder?!" Ruby said.
"Plot twist, it's the same guy." Yang said.
"That explains the intro." Ren said.
The time of the crime? 5:15. Scary coincidence, eh?
It's not officially linked to this here case, so I can't talk much about it.
Judge: There... There was a murder at the Police Department!? A detective!?
Gant: That's hush-hush information, Udgey! We haven't exactly announced it yet.
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! (points) W-wait a second! You said "5:15"... (slams desk) That's the exact time that Detective Goodman was killed at the Prosecutor's Office!
There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Order!
Gant: Anyway, we at the Department were all a-flustered, as you might well assume. We're in the middle of a top-top-secret investigation. Don't tell anyone, okay?
Judge: I think we understand the Police Department's situation... Well, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: (Two detectives killed at the same time in two different places...)
Ema: The chances of that are really slim. Scientifically speaking, of course.
Phoenix: I'd... like to exercise my right to cross-examine the witness.
Judge: Very well... however! Keep your questions focused on the case at hand!
Cross Examination
- Department in Disorder -
"I think I can present the note now." Ruby said.
"What if it's like before and you get penalised?" Weiss said.
"You're right.". She then saves the game.
"Pussy." Yang said.
"Racist." Blake said.
"W-what?". She then starts laughing.
"That came out of nowhere." Nora said.
"What? Am I not allowed to make a joke?" Blake said.
"It wasn't funny." Weiss said.
"It was kinda funny. Good one, babe." Yang said.
"Don't call me that." Blake said.
(Presents Victim's Note on statement 2)
Phoenix: OBJECTION!
"Yes!" Ruby said.
Phoenix: Wait a second!
Gant: (claps while laughing) Ah, at last! An honest to goodness "objection"!
Phoenix: This knife... This has to have something to do with Detective Goodman!
Judge: What do you mean!?
Gant: (claps while laughing) Ah hah! An honest-to-goodness what do you mean from the judge! This is great!
"His iconic catchphrase: what do you mean." Yang said.
Phoenix: Look at the tag on this knife! It reads "SL-9 2"...
Judge: And this is important... why?
Phoenix: Over here we also have... A memo that was on the body of the victim!
Judge: Hmm... what's this? 6 minus 7S... 12/2...?
Phoenix: Your Honor... It's upside-down.
Judge: Upside...?
Phoenix: The printed name on the memo makes it look like it's right-side up... But turn it around and what do you get!?
Judge: Ah... Ah haaaaah!
Phoenix: When he wrote this note, he was holding the paper upside down!
Judge: SL-9... That's the same thing that is written on the knife's tag!
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Well, Chief?
Gant: ... Ah, well. I guess the cat's out of the bag... You win, Wrighto!
Phoenix: I... win? Ah... (What game is this guy playing!?)
"It's still going?"
"Maybe there's more."
"I'll start pressing."
Gant: This knife was evidence in a case. It was stolen from the Department's evidence room.
(Presses statement 1A)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! So this knife... was stolen?
Gant: Yes, but on the day of the murder.
Edgeworth: It was evidence, you say. (points) Was it, in fact, a murder weapon?
Gant: (claps while laughing) Nice! Nice! Nice! Good show, little Worthy! It was a murder weapon, as it happens. It was evidence from a case long-since solved...
Phoenix: (So this knife was stolen on the day of the murder... And it was found in the exhaust pipe of Edgeworth's car...)
Ema: Hard to think there isn't a connection there!
(Presses statement 3)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! Something didn't happen at the Police Department too, did it...?
Gant: You got a good look in your eyes, there, Wrighto my boy. Sharp! Hungry!
Edgeworth: Chief... did something happen? And why haven't I heard?
Gant: Why haven't you heard? Or why didn't you ask?
Edgeworth: ...!
Gant: No matter, I understand. You were busy, what with Lana's case and all.
Phoenix: (slams desk) Well, what happened!? What happened at the Police Department that day?
(Presses statement 4)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! (slams desk) On the same day that a detective was killed in the Prosecutor's parking lot... (points) Another detective... was killed at the Police Department!?
Gant: (claps while laughing) That's a fact. Surprising, isn't it, Udgey?
Judge: I'm at a loss for words.
Edgeworth: And the perpetrator? Do you have a suspect?
Gant: Well, there was a suspect. Just arrested 'em, in fact.
Phoenix: (Just arrested! That was quick...)
"I can see why he's the chief." Weiss said.
"You know what I realized, when a character in the game is really competent, they're usually the murderer. Like Von Karma." Nora said.
"If he's the murderer, I won't be surprised." Yang said.
Gant: But... there's still a lot of unanswered questions. Maybe you could help, Wright!
Phoenix: I suppose I could help... if you help me by giving me data on your case?
Gant: (claps while laughing) Oooh, good one! This kid's sharp! Okay, here's the deal. I'll tell you one thing and one thing only...
[Where the victim was found]
[How the victim was killed]
[When the victim died]
"For 5,000! Which is the right question?" Nora said.
"We're playing "Millionaire" now?"
"What do I ask him?" Ruby said.
"Start with the cause of death." Jaune said.
(Picks How the victim was killed)
Phoenix: Well, how was the detective killed?
Gant: How was he killed? Now that's the interesting part! It was what we in the force call a "stabbing." With a knife!
Phoenix: A kn-knife...?
Edgeworth: That's exactly the same as Detective Goodman!
Gant: (claps while laughing) That's the spirit! We're cooking now! But you know... That's not the only thing that was exactly the same...
Phoenix: Wh-what do you mean!?
Gant: There were more similarities between the two cases than the cause of death!
Phoenix: (It seems like I'm going to have to press this a bit harder...)
"Wait, I want to press again." Ruby said.
(Presses statement 4)
[Where the victim was found]
[How the victim was killed]
[When the victim died]
(Picks Where the victim was found)
Phoenix: So, tell me... where was the victim found?
Gant: ... Well, I can't speak on where the corpse was found. But I can say the crime took place in the evidence room at the Police Department.
Phoenix: (The evidence room!? W-wait a second... I have heard of that!)
Ema: The evidence room... Didn't he mention that in his testimony just now?
(Flashback)
Gant: This knife was evidence in a case. It was stolen from the Department's evidence room.
(End of flashback)
"And that's all!" Nora said.
"Was that flashback necessary?" Yang said.
Phoenix: (There's the connection between the two cases!)
Ema: You seem happy, Mr. Wright!
Phoenix: Happy? We just got handed our ticket to go to town on this case! (With the link between the two cases established, we finally have some leverage. Now we can get Gant to testify about the details!)
(Presses statement 5)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! Five... 5:15...!? B-but that's... That's when Detective Goodman was killed in the Prosecutor's Office!
Judge: What!?
Gant: Funny, isn't it? A murder at the Prosecutor's place, and a murder at our place at the very same time! What are the chances!
(There's noise in the gallery.)
Phoenix: (Coincidence!?)
Ema: This is just my gut feeling... but I'd say there's a 0.001% chance of that happening!
Phoenix: (slams desk) Chief Gant, please tell us more about the incident!
(Presses statement 6)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! (slams desk) Chief... The defense's position is simply this: The connection between these two cases has already been proven!
Gant: Heh, you don't say? Well, out with it Wrighto! What's your connection?
Judge: Yes, out with it, Mr. Wright.
Phoenix: The connection is a place, mentioned in the testimony we just heard. The knife found in the lot was stolen... from the Police Department's evidence room.
Edgeworth: Not to mention (points) the victim had written down the numbers on the knife's evidence tag.
Phoenix: And we also know that the detective murdered at the Police Department... was killed in that very same evidence room!
Judge: Indeed... There do seem to be too many connections for it to be a coincidence.
"Stop with the pauses!" Ruby said.
Gant: You two make a good pair. It took my men two days to find out what you deduced right here.
"And why are they still in the force?" Weiss said.
"For the same reason Gumshoe is still a detective." Blake said.
"He's a likeable character?" Ruby said.
Edgeworth: (slams desk) Chief! (points) I request that you release your information on the victim at the Police Department!
Gant: See, that's the tricky part. It hasn't been announced yet, and all...
"You could tell us unofficially?" Ruby said.
Phoenix: Can we get the information... unofficially?
"Well, here it goes." she said as she was about to drink her shot.
"I don't think you should drink that."
"I'm 16, and it's only a shot."
"Okay, but be careful. You're trying whiskey for the first t-". While Yang was warning her, Ruby drank her shot. And was immediately hit by the burn in her throat.
"Help... too hot... can't breath...! They're not like those chocolates with alcohol at all!"
"The alcohol in chocolates is not supposed to be heavy!" Weiss said.
Gant: Hmmmmm... Sure! Why not? It's unofficial, after all.
Phoenix: (What? Really!?)
Ema: Who would have guessed?
"Feeling better?" Yang said.
"Need water." Ruby said.
Gant: I'll cooperate, but I can't reveal the name of the victim at the Department, okay?
(Presses statement 6A)
Phoenix: HOLD IT! If you're going to tell us a little, why not tell us everything?
Gant: Ah, well, case information is sticky stuff. You have to do everything properly.
Phoenix: (Oh well... I guess I might as well try to get what I can out of him...)
[The victim's division]
[The victim's ID number]
[The victim's gender]
"For 50,000!" Nora said.
"You skipped two prizes." Ren said.
"I think only one of them is correct." Ruby said.
"Wait, are we trying to prove that both victims are the same person?" Yang said.
"Now you realized?" Weiss said.
"The gender, that's too vague. The division, they're both detectives. It must be the ID." Ruby said.
"We have the victim's ID, right?" Yang said.
"Yup. Right here."
(Picks The victim's ID)
Phoenix: Okay... How about you tell me the victim's ID number?
Gant: Hmm? Sure, why not. It's not like you'll be able to tell who it is from that!
Phoenix: Of course not. You won't tell me their name, after all.
Gant: We keep a tight lid on ID numbers, so don't go getting your hopes up. The number is... (pause) 5842189.
"It's the same. It's the same victim." she said as she checked the court record.
Judge: Well! That's quite... long!
Gant: And we have to remember these! It drives me nuts!
Judge: 8... 2... I can't do it.
"It doesn't even start with an 8!" Weiss said.
Phoenix: (You didn't even get the first number right!)
"Weiss, it's your turn."
"I didn't say the same thing!" Weiss said.
"It's similar enough." Yang said.
"Fine." she said and then took a shot. "Not only it's heavy, it also tastes cheap."
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Well, Mr. Wright? Does this tell you anything?
Phoenix: (The ID number of the victim at the Police Department... 5842189...)
[This tells me something!]
[This tells me nothing!]
(Picks This tells me something!)
Phoenix: (slams desk) Actually, it does, Your Honor. It does...! I think!
Judge: Meaning?
Phoenix: (It has to be what I think it is... But what does this mean?)
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Well, let's hear what the defense has to say. You say the ID number of the detective who was murdered at the Police Department... tells you something? What does it tell you!?
(Presents Goodman's ID)
"Take that!" Ruby said.
Phoenix: TAKE THAT! (slams desk) Witness! ...
Gant: ...
Edgeworth: ...
"Say it, already!" Weiss said.
Judge: ... What is it, Mr. Wright!? You're grinning like a schoolgirl on prom night!
"You have that shit eating grin!" Nora said.
"It makes you look like a bitch!" Yang said.
Phoenix: No, I... it's just, I got confused...
Edgeworth: And this is news?
Phoenix: Huh?
Edgeworth: (points) Just come out with both guns blazing... like you always do.
"Classic Phoenix Wright. Always talking bullshit."
Phoenix: (The Police Department... the Prosecutor's Office... Two places, two detectives murdered... at one time.) Actually, I happen to have a police ID number here.
Judge: Oh hoh! Is it yours?
Phoenix: N-no, Your Honor. I'm a defense attorney... remember? This is the ID number of our victim, Detective Goodman.
Gant: (claps while laughing) Shame on you, Wrighto! Personnel IDs are top secret!
"That's very funny! HA HA HA HA HA!" Nora said.
"Being a menace is hilarious!"
Phoenix: Detective Goodman's ID number is... "5842189."
Gant: ...
Edgeworth: ...
"And?" Nora said.
Judge: ... And...? This means... what, exactly?
"Damnit!". She takes another shot.
Phoenix: Huh?
Judge: Wait... That ID number we heard from the Chief earlier.. That started with "82..." Hmm. I've forgotten.
"You made the same mistake!" Weiss said.
Phoenix: (You even got the first number wrong!)
"I asked for this..." she said as she took another shot.
Phoenix: The number the Chief of Police gave us was... 5842189.
Edgeworth: OBJECTION!
"Wrong. It did start with an 8." Yang said.
Edgeworth: W-wait a second, Wright! What does this...?
Phoenix: Mean? That's what I want to know! The two ID numbers are identical! In other words... The detective killed in the Police Department's evidence room was Bruce Goodman! (slams desk) (points) What does our witness think about that!?
Gant: ... Oh! Ho ho ho, sharp as a tack, Wrighto! Sharp as a tack!
Judge: B-but wait! Detective Goodman is OUR victim! He was killed at 5:15 in the underground parking lot!
Phoenix: (slams desk) Yet, a Detective Bruce Goodman was also killed at the Police Department... In the evidence room... at the exact same time!
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! (slams desk) Th-that's impossible! (slams desk) So, what we're saying is... The same person was killed at the same time!? And in a completely different location!?
(There's noise in the gallery. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Order! Order! Order! Chief! What does this mean!?
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! No... what I want to know is... (points) why didn't I hear about this!? Yes, it's top-secret, fine! But I'm the prosecutor in charge of the case!
Gant: Now, just wait a second, Worthy. No need to get all flustered.
Edgeworth: (slams desk) Your Honor! (slams desk) The Police Department has made a grave error in this case...
Gant: Wait. (fixes tie) I said "wait." Or didn't you hear me?
Edgeworth: ...!
"That scared you, huh?" Nora said.
Gant: The oversight... the grave error...? Mr. Edgeworth... They're yours.
Edgeworth: Wh-what!? How... how dare...
Gant: We informed you yesterday. I believe it was our Officer Meekins who brought you the news?
"Who?" Yang said.
"That police officer from before. The scrawny one?" Ruby said.
"Oh, that loser?"
Edgeworth: O-officer... Meekins?
Ema: Mr. Wright! Where have we heard that name before? Wait... Ah hah!
(Flashback)
Officer: Erm...! Excuse me! But is Mr. Edgeworth, uh... anywhere on the premises? I'm here, sir, at the request of the chief, sir! I've got your report, sir!
(End of flashback)
Edgeworth: You don't mean... him!?
Gant: According to Meekins, you didn't accept the report? Hard to believe.
Edgeworth: B-but your officer, he told me! He said that report had nothing to do with the Lana Skye incident!
"You didn't even let him finish." Pyrrha said.
Gant: [Detective Bruce Goodman murdered in the Police Department evidence room...] Mr. Edgeworth. The victim's name is written right on the top of the report.
Edgeworth: Gaaaaaaah! Wh-why didn't your officer tell me!?
Ema: Honestly, I'm not sure if that officer was capable of making the connection... He did seem... challenged.
Everyone started laughing.
"He seemed a bit slow. Kinda retarded in my opinion." Yang said.
"I can't believe it was Ema that said that." Ruby said.
Gant: In any case, this is a serious error, a gross negligence of duty on your part, Worthy.
Edgeworth: OBJECTION! B-But, sir! You could have submitted (points) that report this morning to the court, as evidence! Then, I...
"I feel like we should add music in these pauses." Yang said.
Gant: (fixes tie) No such luck this time, Worthy... or should I say, un-Worthy?
"You lost the game. Tough luck, loser." Nora said.
"I wish there was a game show where the host insults you."
"I know, that would be fun."
Edgeworth: What!?
Gant: Now what was the second rule of evidence law, hmm?
Ema: Well, Mr. Wright?
"I dunno." Jaune said. Some of them laughed.
"Do I look like a lawyer to you?" Yang said.
Phoenix: Huh? Oh, well, it's, uh...
Edgeworth: Rule 2: New evidence may only be submitted if it concerns the case on trial. And how is this relevant!?
Gant: Normally, you submit a list of evidence to be used in court before the trial. This report wasn't on that list...
Judge: So... What does this mean?
Gant: I couldn't submit this evidence until a connection was proven in court.
Edgeworth: ...!
Gant: That connection was just proven by Wrighto over here. Good job, Wrighto, my boy!
Phoenix: Huh? Uh... I... I was just doing my job.
"Bullshiting as always." Jaune said.
"Like a lawyer should. Good work." Nora said.
Edgeworth: (slams desk) No... Noooooooooooooo!
(There's noise in the gallery.)
"Now I feel bad for Edgeworth." Ruby said.
"And Phoenix is celebrating in his head." Yang said.
Judge: It seems... we have come to the end of this trial.
Gant: You are becoming a thorn in my side, Worthy... There've been rumors... After all, you were in the defendant's chair just last year...!
"He definitely is the bad guy."
Edgeworth: ...! I apologize for this terrible lack of due diligence on my part...
Judge: M-Mr. Edgeworth!
Edgeworth: Please... Just give me one day. I'll get to the bottom of what happened... (points) If it's the last thing I do!
Gant: You'd better get results this time. Really.
Edgeworth: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Ema: Poor Mr. Edgeworth...
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: I don't think there's ever been an error this serious in the history of this court.
"No, I'm sure there were a lot of them." Weiss said.
Judge: We will grant one further day as the prosecution has requested. Will this be sufficient, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Yes, Your Honor. Thank you.
Judge: Whatever your punishment for this is, for your sake I hope it's not... decisive.
(The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge: Very well! Court is adjourned!
To be continued.
"Can we take a break now?" Ruby said.
"Yeah." Yang said.
"Good. I feel kinda dizzy. I've taken more shots than anyone else here." Nora said.
And done! Hey everyone. I'm not dead. I just had things to do. And I was bored. Anyway, leave a like and a follow. See you soon!
