Revamped!
Chapter 110: Two Steps Back
Stark Towers - 4:39 AM
Everyone's weapons are on one corner of the room and most of their wielders are sitting on various couches or pillows on the floor, leaning against the bases of the couch or the wall. Stark Towers is dark with a few lights dimmed down and whatever lights were coming in from windows. Everyone had treated themselves whereas Apollo isolated himself in one of the spare rooms down the hall. He didn't have to lock the room to say that he wanted to be left alone and they respected that since they honestly had no idea what to say to him after what they all just witnessed. They couldn't relate to getting seven missing years of their lives back after craving them for so long, and then not wanting them anymore.
They all look up from their daydreams to see Emily enter the room with damp hair wetting sections of her tank top. She takes a seat on a vacant spot of the couch and exhales. After everyone freshened up, that's when it hits them that this has been a long and tiring day.
"On a scale of one to ten," Emily starts, "how likely are you never to fall asleep again?"
"Horizontal eight," Xavier grumbles as he rests his head on a pillow and keeps his eyes open. He draws the horizontal eight in the air with his finger to show that it makes an infinity sign.
Emily nods in agreement and the others do the same as the elevator rings. They look over and the doors open. James walks in carrying some plastic bags that he plops onto Emily's coffee table in the centre, making a loud noise as it lands. He pulls out several two-litre bottles of various sodas and bags of chips.
"Late night more like early morning," Daniel mutters with a small grin as he looks at the assortment.
"Hey," James says in defence, "we don't have to go into work tomorrow - or should I say, in a few hours."
"Because you all took responsibility for Sigyn's actions and SHIELD put you on probation after a short period of time off," Iqadi corrects.
James looks at her indifferently. "You hear probation, I hear vacation!"
He proceeds to rip open a bag of chips and eat as much as he can in one go. James gets through half of the bag before he notices everyone just staring at him.
"What?" James questions. "Fighting skeletons and Sigyn at the same time burns a lot of calories and, sometimes, I deserve to eat a bag of chips."
Angela glances over at Emily. "Don't you have anything healthier to eat?"
Emily takes a look at her kitchen from her spot on the couch. "I got cookies in the cupboards, cake in the fridge, ice cream in the freezer -"
"I said healthier, Emily."
"I got a grocery store down the street."
Angela rolls her eyes and Emily and James laugh. He passes Emily his opened bag of chips and she helps herself.
"Could I have a sip of that?" Merida asks as she lazily points at a bottle of soda. "Or better yet, the whole bottle? I'd like to pass out."
"I don't think a bottle will help," Xavier says. "Maybe at least ten will."
Merida takes an entire litre bottle of orange soda and opens it. As if fizzes, Merida takes a straw and pushes it inside, putting her hand on top to prevent the straw from bouncing out. She winks at Angela as she takes a sip.
"I'm on a cleanse," Merida jokes.
And then, they just sat there in an uncomfortable silence that became comfortable with the sound of rustling chip bags, fizzing drinks, crunching, and sipping. Nobody slept or moved for that matter. What was there to do when their friend was in the other room destroyed? The moment Sigyn vanished and time went back to its normal course, Apollo came back to consciousness on the border of hysteria and paranoia. It was almost like the moment he first arrived from Asgard except this time, he knows everything.
When one of them hurts, they feel the same kind of pain. By witnessing Apollo's broken state, they feel sad by not being able to fix it.
"What are we going to do?" Angela asks.
"About what?" Xavier asks back. "You gotta be more specific when everything is wrong."
"When did all this get fucked up?" James asks.
"We've always been fucked up," Daniel responds with a small laugh. "What happened in Asgard just seems like a really, really sad book that we have to read."
"None of this is normal…" Iqadi says. "Or maybe it's normal. It's hard to tell anymore."
"At least Sigyn isn't dead," James says both optimistically and yet, still doubtfully.
"She'll come back," Merida says.
"How can you be so sure?" Xavier asks. "Last time I checked, she was bleeding to death and weren't you the one who blamed her for everything?"
Merida scoffs as she nods. "That, my friend, is called character development on my part. But aside from that, Sigyn did say she was coming for us and I won't allow her to bleed in a ditch somewhere. I'll even patch the bitch up myself and let her talk before I let her die of blood loss."
"That, and someone has to talk to Apollo," Daniel says. "Anyone have Asgard's phone number?"
It's almost like his question was answered. The elevator rings again and they turn around to see someone walk in. It wasn't Sigyn but someone else who made everyone stand up when she walked into the room.
-o-
He's been told that it's okay to give in to his emotions but he should try to fight his way through the bad ones. That his heart won't heal until it's completely broken.
Now, Apollo's heart is beyond broken. It's dissolved and he doesn't know where it or its remains went. If anything, the only blood he has on his body is Sigyn's. His cousin. The cousin he finally remembered to be like his sister. He was destined to kill her and now, this reminds him that he almost did. And she could be bleeding to her death right this very moment while he sits here calling himself a mess…
Apollo sits in the corner of the next room over, in the dark. He's shaking, still wearing his armour which has dried up stains of Sigyn's blood on it. He can't fathom that on top of imagining his cousin bleeding to death somewhere unknown, the past seven years for him were the worst years of his life. Sometimes, the only thing he could hold were those memories. No matter how much he held them, how much he prayed they weren't real, they will always be the truth of what happened. Every thought and flashback now has a sliver of sadness around the happy memories. There's something about remembering that isn't the same as the real thing. No matter how happy something made him feel, he had to recognize that it makes his insides hurt.
Sigyn said that she had to carry their fear for them both. She chose to inherit a double dose of their scared and gave him the chance to lose his portion of fear. For the longest time growing up, he didn't think anything scared him and, from what he's been exposed to, nothing has. A part of that came from his Asgardian heritage and yes, some things have made him jump a little but nothing has ever made his bones rattle until those memories came back to him and he remembered that his worst fear came into existence in those seven years and haunted him that whole time.
There's a strong difference between living fearlessly and knowing you have something to fear while out living. He wasn't brave before those seven years happened because he had nothing to be scared of.
And now, he can barely breathe and the monster in his head and nightmares is eating him alive again.
Apollo looks up when he hears the door open. At first glance, he sees the monster and scoots back, slamming against the wall he was against. His intense breathing and shaking are holding him back from screaming. He has nothing to hold on to and he feels as if he's on the brink of having a panic attack. And then, he sees what it is when it walks into the light coming in through the window.
Instantly, he calms down. It's his mother. Her hair is down and she wears a dark purple-grey Asgardian wrap dress with silver accents. She looks at him with a sad smile. She's happy to see her son but not like this.
Apollo stands up in a rush and his breathing slows down. He takes a step forwards and touches his mother's arms, holding her just to make sure she was there and this wasn't his mind playing with him. He moves his hands up to her shoulders and then her face just as she touches his beard.
Jane's smile turns happier for a slim second and tears start forming in Apollo's eyes. If there was something wonderful about Asgard, it was his mother.
"Hi, baby…" Jane softly says to him.
"Mom -" Apollo replies before she cuts him off with a hug.
"Shh…" she rubs his back.
Apollo was so much taller and bigger than her but that didn't stop her from cradling her like he was a baby. No matter how old he was or how much of a beard was on his face, she was still his mother. It was always painful to know that someone you care about deeply is hurting, and no matter what you do, it can never be cured. And although Jane didn't know how to take his pain away, that didn't mean she couldn't try her damn hardest.
"Oh, Apollo…" Jane says, trying to keep herself from crying as well. She just lets her tears fall. "Your father is coming soon. Sigyn is -"
Apollo tries to say something but his voice catches. An earsplitting scream emerges from his gut, exploding in his throat, and uses every inch of him to be heard. The cry that finally comes out of his body feels like the sky ripping open. He falls into his mother and she holds him, feeling his rib cage heave spastically. They both fall on their knees, both trembling. There were no thoughts going around in their heads, just sobs. He didn't mean to do this. As soon as his mother held him in her arms, he couldn't help himself.
[Hello there, Jane Foster, welcome to this story].
