In Charge
Chapter 21 – Sympathy
By Threshie
AN: Welcome to chapter 21. I'm sorry this took so long in coming—I had a distinctive difficulty with how to start the first scene. Actually, the whole thing gave me a good bit of trouble...whenever these kinds of chapters come along, there comes a point where I realize that I'll neve rbe entirely happy with it and I need to post it and go on with writing the rest. That's where this one is. (Sweatdrop) Enjoy; sorry this's such a depressing way to get back into posting for this fic...
Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
Near lay on his back, dark eyes staring flatly up at the ceiling. Without the baggy pajama shirt, he looked smaller and paler than ever. When they had arrived and Dr. Lidner saw the crimson all over the garment, she'd asked that he take it off so that she could take a look at his injuries. Little did she know at the time that the blood had just come from the IV needle being yanked out. Near hadn't said anything to correct her; he had hurriedly taken the shirt off, though. After his experience with Mikami, he probably didn't want to give the nurses any chances to help him remove it.
Now, only a few minutes after they'd arrived, Dr. Lidner spoke gently to Near while she examined the stitches on his stomach. If he heard her or was affected by whatever she was saying, he wasn't reacting outwardly—he just stared tiredly at the ceiling above the bed, a distant look on his face. He didn't even blink; he could have been mistaken for being in a coma, for all of the interaction he was offering the nurses and doctor.
At least he's not crying, Mello thought once again. Maybe Near had used up all of the emotion he could muster for the day, or maybe he was just still in shock from the ordeal he'd been through; whatever the case, he had been silent and seemed completely emotionless ever since Mello had carried him inside from the car. Carrying him had seemed like the right thing to do...he'd looked so fragile and pale, curled up in the blanket on the seat, that Mello hadn't wanted to wake him. Picking him up had quickly ruled out that possibility, of course—as soon as the blonde wrapped his arms around Near, the smaller boy's eyes had popped open as if someone had hit him.
He'd looked confused about where he was for a moment, then wordlessly stared up at Mello. His eyes had been blank, completely blank...as if he didn't hold a shred of recognition for the blonde boy.
For all I know he's blanked the whole Mikami part of the week out from the trauma, Mello thought as he watched the doctor work from across the room, leaning against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. I don't care what he says, I don't believe that bastard didn't do anything except put a needle in his arm and tie him up. People don't break down over things like that—and Near doesn't break down over anything...
He felt almost as defeated as his rival looked at the moment.
This was it. Everything was going to change as soon as they went to see L and Matt.
He frowned, looking down at the floor. He couldn't beat this...there was nothing to do about it. He'd already lost, hadn't he? All that was left to do was to go and watch his friendship with Matt crumble away. More like explode—he's gonna get mad at me for not telling Near he was okay. I'm not sure Near's capable of getting angry, but he'll be irritated at least—maybe. If he doesn't just stay blank like he is now, anyway. And L...
He bowed his head a little lower, a twinge of some strong emotion going through his chest. He didn't want L to be disappointed in him, but that would probably happen, too. So I went and saved Near like he asked me to—that'll make him happy, but once he finds out I let Near think Matt was dead, he'll probably be mad, too. Everybody may as well already be mad at me...
Returning to Matt's room wasn't going to be a very pleasant experience at all.
He fidgeted, flicking a stray lock of hair away from his eyes. He was beginning to dread seeing Matt again...beginning to think of ways to delay it. The longer it took to see him again, the longer they would still be friends... Don't be stupid—they're gonna meet up somehow, one way or another, and then nobody's going to care about you anymore. It doesn't matter how hard you try—you lost, dammit, Matt's already out of your reach!
"Mello." The blonde boy looked up stiffly, blinking at the sound of his name. Dr. Lidner was standing right in front of him—he'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed her walking over.
"What?" He asked sharply. His tone was edgier than intended, but at the moment he didn't care—there wasn't any reason to be polite or cheerful to anybody. Nobody cared about him, so he wouldn't pretend to care about them, either; the bitterness was starting to leak into his behavior, even though the incident that was causing it hadn't happened yet. The anticipation was bad enough, though.
Did Near win? I know I lost, but did Near win? Matt decided this more than Near did... It was some kind of cruel irony to think that Near had beaten him by default—that he hadn't even needed to do anything to win. Nothing Near did better than him ever seemed to take the white-haired boy much effort, but this was getting obscene...
"Near needs several of his stitches to be re-done," Dr. Lidner said, unaware of his thoughts. She glanced a bit sympathetically back at the boy on the bed, adding, "It looks like he yanked an IV needle out of his right wrist, too, but that'll heal up easily on its own."
"Is that all?" Mello asked, glancing at the white-haired boy, too. Near was looking at one of the nurses, who was patting his shoulder and smiling. His expression hadn't changed.
If Matt really was dead, I might actually feel sorry for him. As things are...I hate him even more! Damn you, Near—you're the cause of every problem I have to deal with right now, and all of your problems will be solved in a few minutes! And solving the problems that Near had to deal with right now would only heap more onto Mello...
The blonde woman frowned, lowering her voice.
"The marks on his wrists and ankles concern me. They're not serious injuries—they don't even need bandages. But...what happened to him? Did Mikami do this?" She sounded thoroughly unhappy with the thought that any of her nurses would do such a thing, even if nobody at the hospital would have guessed that Mikami was really so deranged. Mello felt anger rising inside of him again at the very thought of the man, and for all of his conflicted and negative feelings toward Near at the moment, when he thought of Mikami, thoughts of protecting Near from him immediately sprang to mind, too.
People like Mikami are lower than scum...even Near didn't deserve what happened to him. And that bastard shot Matt, too! Matt...whether the redhead cared about him or not, Mello knew he would always have a soft spot for Matt. Hurting Matt was as good as hurting Mello. He wasn't sure what to do, though, when the person hurting him was Matt. He doesn't mean to, I'll bet...but why Near? I never thought Matt of all people would compare us and side with Near! I thought he cared about me more than that...
His emotions were a tangled mess; first he hated Near, then he hated Mikami and he wanted to protect Near, then he was angry at Matt for caring about Near more than him...which made him hate Near again even more. But then, when he thought of Mikami...it was a vicious circle. The flurry of hate and fondness was exhausting...
"...Yes and no," he answered Dr. Lidner's question darkly, more because of his thoughts than the topic of conversation. He kept his voice low as well; if he didn't whisper right now, he would probably start screaming at somebody. Unfortunately combined with the dark tone that made his voice sound a bit hoarse; it came across as more "upset" than anything. "Mikami had him restrained with straps—he hurt himself trying to get them off."
I hate Mikami for that... I hate Near, too, but...not like I hate Mikami! Dammit, but I do hate Near, too... It didn't matter if Near was the victim, he told himself, it was what Mikami had done that he hated him for. It wasn't entirely the truth...if it had been a complete stranger, he knew deep down that he would still be disgusted, but he wouldn't be so furious over it. He didn't want to feel sorry for Near right now, though. The last thing he wanted to do was to acknowledge that the white-haired boy was important to him in some strange way. I hate him! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him....for being the person that Matt cares about most.
He wanted nothing more than to hop on his motorcycle and speed away from everything, so fast and far that he could never find his way back. Running away didn't solve anything...but there didn't seem to be a solution to this problem anyway. At least not for me—Matt and Near will be happy. Bastards, he thought bitterly. He didn't mean it where Matt was concerned...at least, he didn't think he meant it... He could've thought of me a little bit. Just a little would've been nice...but no, ever since I got back from that trip with L, it's "Near, Near, Near"! What the hell is so special about goddamned Near, anyway?!
"Mello...tell me the truth," Dr. Lidner persisted in interrupting his thoughts, crossing her arms in an imitation of his posture. She frowned, blue eyes narrowly focused straight into his. "You're not just Near's neighbor, are you?"
Mello blinked; he hadn't expected that question at all. The cover story for who they were and why they were at the hospital couldn't have been further from his mind—hell, he'd almost forgotten that Near had originally come here because of appendicitis, not anything to do with Mikami.
"No," he said flatly, and left it at that. He wasn't prepared to combat the question with any realistic-sounding excuse, and he didn't care to invent one on the spot, either. It's a stupid cover story anyway! Can you just work on Near's stitches so I can take him to Matt's room and we can get all of this over with already? He wasn't sure what he planned to do after the big "confrontation", but he wasn't looking forward to whatever it was. Maybe he would get on his motorcycle and drive until there wasn't anymore road to drive on...
I don't think I'd be far enough away even then. Nobody'll want me around after this stupid mess...even though I did everything I could to do my part, except that thing about telling Near Matt's okay. Sure, it hadn't been kind, but it didn't seem like such a huge thing...then again, with the way that everyone seemed impressed by Near, surely they would overreact in his defense, too. Mello kind of hoped that they would...he wanted a good reason to storm off, any reason, because once Matt and Near were reunited, he didn't want to hang around and watch them be friends at last. Dammit...this isn't fair! Why does Near get the happy ending and I get shoved off to the side?! Matt won't want to be my friend after today...because he cares about Near more than me now.
It hurt, it really did. It couldn't have been worse if Matt had come up to him and physically stabbed him in the chest. Mello wasn't accustomed to feeling hurt, and he decided right away that he didn't like it at all. That didn't change the fact that he did feel hurt by all of this...if denial helped anything, he would have solved all of his problems a long time about. Why...I just want to know why. Was I born to not be good enough, or what...?
"You said that Mikami had him tied up," Dr. Lidner's voice tugged him back to the present once again. She spoke more gently now, looking sympathetic and more than a little curious. "You must have been wherever the police found him to witness that. Do you work for the police, Mello?"
"No," the blonde gritted his teeth, "I just went along with them. Can you go do your job now?" What is this, Take Advantage of Mello Day? All I'm gonna get out of this whole situation is one less best friend and a bunch of people mad at me, so why does everybody have to cry on me and shoot at me and pick my brain about the stupid cover story I didn't even invent?! Leave me the hell alone!
Ever since lying about Matt's "death" he'd also had the bad feeling nagging at him. It was uncomfortable enough seeing Near hurt again—which bothered him, though he still wasn't sure why--without knowing that most of the pain he was going through right now was Mello's fault. There was also the fact that he could take it away in a moment just by telling the truth...
I don't want to! He'll be happy in a few minutes—it's too late to say it now anyway.
Part of him wanted to do that, and "fix" things as he saw it, but another part of him believed that things would have come to this anyway, this ending of his friendship with Matt. Now that the redhead had befriended Near, Mello would drift further and further away...making everyone mad at him might be better in the long run. Why drag it out—let's just get it over with. Anger ought to make it easier to say what needs to be said...
He wasn't sure what he would do after today, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to live near L, Matt and Near anymore. He wouldn't be able to stand watching Matt spending all of his time with somebody else, being the odd one out while Matt and Near hung out together and L buried himself in the next case as he always did. It wasn't much of a life, anyway—why the hell have I even hung around this long?
Matt was really the only reason he'd had to stay, wasn't he?
"All right," Dr. Lidner concluded their conversation testily, looking none too pleased with being snapped at. Turning, she headed back to Near's bedside and told one of the nurses to get the tools she would need to correct the stitches. Finally she got the picture that I don't want to talk to her right now! I guess she has no way of knowing why, though...
Mello sighed, looking down at the floor again. Even he was beginning to get angry at himself now. The doctor hadn't done anything wrong, there wasn't really any reason to be so snappy...
It didn't matter, though. Why not go all-out and let her think he was nothing but insensitive, too? It would complete the picture. It would compound the great irony that for the first time he could remember, he was bothered to see Near suffering, even while hating him. It bothered him that seeing Near in pain could bother him...it didn't make sense. He did hate Near, didn't he?
Yes, I do! I hate him! It was easy to think it, but...maybe he just hated the fact that Near got to be happy at his expense. Oh, well. It doesn't matter if I hate him or not anymore. It doesn't matter if Dr. Lidner thinks I'm a jerk, either—let the whole world think I'm a jerk! They'll never see me again after today—and even if they did, I don't care what they think! I don't care...
He kept telling himself that.
Another hospital bed, another IV.
Near didn't bother to watch while one of the nurses slid the slender piece of metal into his wrist. The needle prick stung, but the pain was only a minor irritation in the back of his mind, much like the dull ache coming from the new stitches that Dr. Lidner was in the process of sewing into him, and the hot stinging in both wrists from the evidence of his struggling against the straps.
He was silent even in his mind; no thoughts seemed worth thinking at the moment. Why bother? Things seemed exactly the same around him as they had been before Mikami kidnapped him, but everything had changed, too...if the hospital had seemed cold and uninviting before, now it seemed downright sinister.
It wasn't safe.
Everyone around him was a stranger.
Mello, the only person he really trusted, was across the room and didn't seem to be paying much attention to what was happening to him, either. If any of the nurses wanted to, they could easily pull a gun like Mikami had... It was foolish to be thinking such things, but he couldn't really help it. The last memory he had of this hospital was of Mikami shooting Matt and carrying him away.
"There you are," Dr. Lidner smiled, trimming off the extra thread in the stitches she had just finished tying off. "Just take it easy—you'll be feeling much better in no time. Take care not to move those stitches around too much, all right?"
Relenting in his motionlessness, the white-haired boy glanced at her glumly and nodded once. Understood. Please let me go home now. He wasn't sure what would happen now—probably more of this. More of people being overly concerned about him, more of this empty, flat feeling to an otherwise normal day, and more of Mello's silent scowling when he ought to be more upset. It's not right...didn't he care about Matt a lot more than that? Mello is usually so emotional, I thought that he of anyone would be crying...
He'd seen Mello cry many times over the years. The blonde had always been extreme and unguarded in his emotions, and the things that affected him most tended to be the bad ones. Of course he had always refused to even speak to Near during those times; usually whatever had upset him had to do with the white-haired boy, or if it hadn't then he blamed it on Near anyway. Typical Mello...it was a way to prevent me from ever trying to be kind to him. If I was the problem, the only way to help would be to stay away—and that must have been what he wanted.
Whether he wanted Near gone because he was the actual reason for the tears or because he might actually be sympathetic and Mello might actually see him in a positive light had never really been clear. Near suspected the latter; Mello seemed to need to hate him, somehow. It fueled his resolve to try his hardest at everything. Without me, perhaps he would be laid-back like Matt.
He looked up as the subject of his thoughts crossed the room, coming to stand beside the bed. He did look hurt, somehow...but a restrained kind of hurt. He seemed unwilling to share his feelings with anyone at the moment, much like Near usually didn't bother to express his own very often.
Why would he hold back, though? Not to hide from Dr. Lidner—judging by his expression, he isn't putting on a brave face for anyone. And yet he's so quiet...Mello isn't like this. Something is wrong.
He couldn't shake the feeling. He didn't expect Mello to be okay, of course; his best friend had just been killed. Near had seen the blonde boy explode into cursing or screaming for things much smaller in the past, though—Mello's lack of a reaction seemed like the wrong reaction unto itself.
"How can he walk anywhere with an IV in his arm?" The blonde was asking Dr. Lidner; there was a raw edge to his voice. Near watched him, saw how his hands seemed to tremble a little. He is upset...perhaps somehow he has just become better at staying composed? Perhaps he had already used up his tears. I wasn't here for the initial upset...when they discovered Matt. He closed his eyes, shaking his head very slightly and willing the thought away. It wouldn't do to think of Matt and how he wasn't there when he should have been...
"His hip and side have some serious bruises on them," the doctor shot back, matching Mello's glare firmly with a glare of her own. "And he's just had more stitches put in—he can't walk anyway. You can push him in a wheelchair, though."
Near opened his eyes at the order—for it wasn't a suggestion, more of a command--observing that one of the nurses was, indeed, bringing a wheelchair into the room just then. Mello would have to push him in it to get to the car. He couldn't ride on Mello's motorcycle right now, so he assumed that they would be riding in the car, anyhow. Matt's car...logic dictated that the redhead wouldn't need it anymore, but it was somehow deeply depressing to have come to the hospital in Matt's car with him, and to be leaving in the same car without him. Going home without him.
Leaving him behind already.
...Until L returns, I will be relying on Mello for everything, too, he reminded himself sadly, trying his hardest not to wonder whether he should remember Matt as a friend or not. He had turned down the redhead's friendship, but...he missed him as if they had been friends. Was there a requirement to admit to friendship before it was valid? True friendship couldn't have been decided so easily, he was sure...
He didn't like having to rely on Mello. He wasn't sure that the blonde boy could handle taking care of him at the moment—he seemed like he might explode from all of the emotions that he was holding in. But of course Mello would still try—he was in charge, that was what L expected him to do. Matt was shot because of me—Mello can't have anything good to think about me right now, but he is looking after me anyway...
Remembering how the blonde boy had held him while the tears overwhelmed him back at Mikami's home made Near feel small and insecure. He hadn't ever broken down that much before while alone, nevermind in front of someone who knew him and his usual nonchalant attitude, and definitely not in front of the person who seemed to hate him the most. It was one of the very few times he could remember crying, and the only one where there had been someone to console him.
Poor Mello, he thought glumly. I only just got to know Matt this week—he has been his friend for years. If anyone is really in need of consoling right now, it has to be Mello...and instead he has to be in charge. The silence and solitude of only the two of them back at the house would surely just drive the point home that Matt really was gone for good. He will be alone with the reason that Matt was killed...me.
"Here, Near, let me help you." Dr. Lidner was talking to him, but he wasn't listening nor paying close attention. He allowed the doctor and one of the nurses to help him move from the bed to the wheelchair's seat, ignoring the throb that the movement sent through the bruises on his left side. Mello scowled down at the floor nearby, making no move to help, himself.
Near didn't blame him; he was quickly realizing that, despite coming to save him, the blonde must hate him even more now that he had been the reason for Matt's death. Without Matt, I will be forced to go back to how I was, but Mello can never be the same as he was. He isn't used to being lonely...so I'll let him hate me if it makes him feel any better. It makes no difference to me--he always did hate me, anyway.
The white-haired boy sighed faintly when one of the nurses spread a blanket on his lap, as if he wasn't able to do so himself just because he was in a wheelchair. The woman then turned and attached the IV rack onto a spot on the back of the wheelchair that was made for it to snap on. I want to go home...I hope that they will let me. I won't have to stay in a room at the hospital again, will I? His fingers immediately set about crumpling the edges of the blanket, as he had before when he had nothing to hold instead. He didn't think that the injuries were severe enough to warrant another hospital stay, but perhaps moving around so much after the surgery had caused complications in the healing process...
"Here." The white-haired boy blinked, realizing that Mello was holding the dinosaur out to him. The toy's toothy grin was right in front of his face, a sad reminder of when Matt had first given it to him. Mello's hands looked more delicate without the ever-present leather gloves, his wrists more slender...almost too slender. The black, glossy fingernails immediately caught Near's eye, too. I didn't know that he painted them... It wasn't very important at the moment, though.
He took the plastic beast slowly with both hands, meeting Mello's blue eyes over the top of it. Myriad dark and painful emotions stared back at him.
"Thank you," he whispered, the first thing he'd said since Mikami's house. You didn't have to do that. I would have forgotten it if you hadn't handed it to me... He hugged the dinosaur to his chest and bowed his head, feeling tired and confused. He may be in charge, but that doesn't mean that he has to be kind to me at all...why isn't he blaming me like he usually does? It would make things easier on Mello to blame him, wouldn't it? It usually seemed to make him feel better, having someone to blame.
Mello offered no reply, but a moment and several footsteps later the wheelchair was gliding silently forward toward the door. In a moment they were out in the chilly hallway, the distant sounds of voices and bustle drifting toward them from rooms far away in either direction.
"Mello," Near murmured, after a few minutes of silent walking. His voice echoed softly off of the walls; it seemed far too loud, even though he wasn't speaking loudly at all.
"What?" The blonde sounded strained; there was a tone in his voice not unlike he sounded when he was in physical pain. Near looked down at the dinosaur, the fingertips of one hand brushing idly over its pebbly plastic skin while he held it with the other. Its smile was an irony, when the whole world seemed so heavy with sadness right now.
"I...I am sorry about Matt." I had to say something...what else could I say? Hearing the same words from somebody else certainly wouldn't have made him feel any better about the redhead's death, but it felt wrong not to say anything. Mello seemed to be so troubled...and when Near had broken down, he had been there for him, so it was only decent to respond in kind, wasn't it?
"...Mello?"
"What do you want, Near?" The blonde asked sharply, the raw edge returning to his voice. He sounded like he was on the verge of exploding, but Near couldn't decide if the explosion would be fury or tears. He hoped for Mello's sake that it was tears. He isn't used to holding anything in—he can't keep it up for long.
The white-haired boy considered his words carefully, unsure quite how to convey that he didn't mean to be stand-offish right now. He wasn't very good at getting such things across with his tone of voice...
"You don't have to wear a brave face for my sake," he said finally, settling for bluntness as usual. "I...I know that you must be hurting even more than me right now. That's why...I'm very sorry..." His voice had become very quiet, the words hesitant and faltering. He was trying, for possibly the first time ever, to sincerely sympathetize with Mello. We are the same right now—we both have lost a friend, haven't we?
Mello a shudder go through him as the meaning of the words sank in. No...no, he didn't want Near to sympathetize with him. Near needed to be selfish and happy to be Matt's friend so that Mello could hate him and not have that bad feeling gnaw at him so. Except, thanks to me he doesn't know Matt's okay—he thinks Matt's dead and he's trying to be nice to me because he thinks I...miss Matt too.
His grip on the wheelchair's handles tightened until his knuckles turned white. He could have dealt with coldness or anger, but not sympathy. If Near had cursed Mikami, even, he would have had a reasonable excuse to be angry. Being angry was easier, less personal—screaming and cursing and hitting things made him feel better. Sympathy invited tears, though, and crying only ever made him feel worse.
Dammit—why does he have to pick now to not be a brat for once?! He couldn't think about it too much or he would give in to all of the misery that was building inside of him and the tears would shortly follow. He couldn't speak; there was already that choked feeling in the back of his throat that warned him as much.
Gritting his teeth, he told himself firmly, Go in there, leave Near for Matt and L to fuss over, and leave. Just leave. No more trying to solve this, don't even think about it anymore—just face the fact that everybody's going to hate you and leave.
Mello hadn't said anything.
It was Near's tendency to be silent, not Mello's. A silent Mello made the white-haired boy wonder if perhaps he was beyond mere grieving... Perhaps...he has given up entirely. He and Matt were awfully close. Even so, Mello wouldn't throw his life away to follow Matt...would he?
Thinking of how much he had grown to care about the redhead in the short time they had been friends, Near realized that it must be a hundred time worse for Mello than for him. If he cared for Matt even a little more than I did, it's possible. If I cared for him any more, I would... He hugged the dinosaur closer, forbidding the end of that thought. No, he should focus on Mello—it was important. He could be suicidal. That would explain being so quiet, and Mello always goes to the extremes over everything, he told himself.
I'll have to watch him carefully.
Abruptly, the wheelchair stopped. Looking up, Near found himself staring at the numbers "290"--a plaque on the door. Room 290...this isn't the room that I stayed in before. He watched uneasily as Mello stepped in front of him and opened the door, a stiff frown fixed on his features. Why...? I thought that we were going home. Before he could ask the question aloud, Mello circled quickly around behind the wheelchair and started pushing it again.
He looked up again, trying to see what might await him inside—and instead, a very familiar pair of wide eyes were looking back.
"L," he whispered, staring up at the black-haired man as if he were a ghost. He must have returned while Mikami had me! He felt relief welling inside of him. If L was here, everything would be okay. L always knew what to do. Even he can't do anything for Matt, though. Matt...h-he must know about Matt by now. He watched L carefully for any sign of upset, but his mentor was as unreadable as ever.
"It's good to see you again," the great detective murmured, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans. He seemed almost self-conscious as he added worriedly, "Are you all right? I've heard some pretty worrisome details from the police about all of this..."
Not you, too, L. I don't want anyone to pity me--don't worry about me. Near didn't know what to do with sympathy, anyway—better to offer it to Mello, who seemed so silently upset that it was disturbing him...
"I am fine," the white-haired boy said quietly, wishing that his physical appearance didn't contradict the words so much. He was bandaged and bruised, in a wheelchair, with flecks of blood still dotting his pale hair, and after crying so much not even an hour ago he was sure that his eyes were still red. He didn't look "fine", and really he didn't feel that way either, but he didn't want any more fuss made over him. It was tiring enough dealing with the fact that Matt was gone without the exhaustion of the rest of the kidnapping heaped on top of it. I just want to go home...why does L have a hospital room set aside to sit in, anyway? Is it just so that we can talk and not worry about others overhearing...?
L smiled, a surprisingly cheerful expression for such serious times, and stepped to the side, waving him and Mello into the room with one hand.
"Then you'd better tell Matt that—he hasn't stopped worrying since Mello left to retrieve you."
...Matt?
Even as the meaning of the words began to sink in, the wheelchair was already rapidly gliding toward the other side of the room...where a certain redhead was sitting up in bed, vivid blue eyes full of concern.
M...Matt? Near stared at him for a long moment; it wasn't real, was it? How could Matt possibly be there...? Mello parked the wheelchair beside the bed, leaving the redhead close enough to reach out and touch, and Near still couldn't believe what he was seeing. I saw Mikami shoot him! And, Mello said...he told me that Matt was dead...! How can he be here...?
--End Chapter 21
AN: x.x; Curse you, Mello—you angsted so long you took up the chapter time, and now Near and Matt get to reunite NEXT chapter! (I seriously doubt he cares if he's delaying that, of course... ^^; ) Sorry for the loooong wait for this chapter! Life and college homework have slowed down my writing process significantly. I also just got over a cold. (Sweatdrop) Anyway, I hope you're still enjoying the story—sorry this chapter was so angsty and heavy. x.x; Oya—it dragged my mood down writing it!
Poor Near; he's trying to be nice to Mello, but since Mello's not really grieving for Matt he's feeling guilty and brushing it off and Near doesn't understand why. Oya, what a tangled mess Mello's managed to make of his friendships. More on that in chapter 22. :)
Trivia: This chapter's title refers to Near trying to sympathize with Mello over Matt's "death". It also refers to Mello feeling bad for not telling Near Matt's okay; as a friend of Matt's, Mello can sympathize that it would be horrible to think Matt's dead (and yet he doesn't fix it—bad Mello!) Mello's one of those stubborn people who doesn't always react to difficult situations with what others might think of as logic...LOL.
Next chapter WILL be the "big reunion"--now that they're face-to-face, there's absolutely no way Mello can hog another whole chapter. (Sweatdrop) That's all for now, I hope you're still enjoying the story.
-Threshie
In Charge Akugi! Volume 21
Akugi #81
Mello: What is this, Take Advantage of Mello Day?
Near: "'Take Advantage of Mello Day'...I like the sound of that. That means you can't say 'no' to ANYTHING..." (Evil smirk)
Mello: (Gulp)
Near: (Hands toy catalog) "Please purchase everything on pages 18 through 47." (Heart)
Mello: (Sweatdrops, as he had been expecting some considerably more...high-rated...orders) Phew!
Akugi #82
Narrator: Mello's hands looked more delicate without the ever-present leather gloves, his wrists more slender...almost too slender.
Near: "...You are shrinking away to nothing—how long since you had a chocolate bar?"
Mello: (Twitch) "A few chapters, since I was too busy saving you to go get more—thanks for rubbing it in!"
Near: u.u "You do know this hospital has vending machines that sell chocolate in the hallways, right? And that all you do in this scene is stand around and sulk, and you could be doing that while walking to one of them and buying chocolate?"
Mello: "...." (Was too busy sulking to think that far)
Akugi #83
Narrator: Hurting Matt was as good as hurting Mello. He wasn't sure what to do, though, when the person hurting him was Matt.
Matt: (Punches Mello in jaw) "Hah! If you hit me it'll just hurt you too!" (Evil "mwahahaha" laugh)
Mello: "ROWR!" (Punches Matt anyway) "...!" (Clutches his own jaw) "^#$#! Oww, da-YAM I punch hard!"
Matt: "Ouch!" _; (Clutches jaw, too) "I pulled MY punch!"
Akugi #85
Near: "You don't have to wear a brave face for my sake." (Completely deadpan and unemotional)
Mello: (sweatdrop) "Thanks, that, uh...sounds really sincere." (Cough)
