In Charge
Chapter 28 – Moving On
By Threshie
Author's Note:
Welcome to the first new chapter for In Charge in 16 years. My writing style has changed since I was working on this fic, but I've tried to write in a similar way so that it isn't jarring for you while reading. The plot is what I had planned all those years ago and outlined through. We've got just a chapter or two left to go. Please enjoy, and thank you for reading!
Near rolled over in bed for the umpteenth time, hugging the blankets up around his shoulders. He'd been tossing and turning for hours. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw glimpses of Mikami's smile, and every time he opened them he wondered if that had really happened or not.
Were they really just nightmares? Maybe his memory gap was trying to fill itself in, and Near was so resistant to accepting what had happened that his mind was dismissing it as "only another nightmare." It was both frustrating and frightening that he couldn't tell what parts might be real.
I will know for sure tomorrow, the white-haired boy reminded himself. After reading his painkillers' label more closely, he'd realized that they affected tissue pain, but not bones. That accounted for why his hips were still sore even while the painkillers dulled the feeling of the fresh stitches.
It had also made Near realize that he might not be able to tell if he had any additional injuries. Not unless they were broken bones.
After Mello and the police had recovered him, Dr. Lidner had only managed to do a quick assessment of Near's condition before L had put a stop to it. Near imagined that his mentor was concerned about inflicting further trauma on him after how he'd been found strapped to the cot. Now he had to wonder, though.
What if L knew something that everyone else didn't? Was there some reason he might not want Dr. Lidner to find any evidence of sexual assault?
L hadn't known about Near's memory gap at that point, though, so that made little sense. If Mikami had actually done anything awful to him, it still shook Near that his mind would be so unreliable as to block it out. And yet, if he was examining this evidence in a case about somebody else, it would have been foolish to rule out rape as one of the strong possibilities.
Near had always assumed that he, a person whose mind was trained to solve crimes, would know all of the evidence to show if he ever had to prove a crime against himself. Instead, he'd been an unreliable mess, a weak link that the others felt the need to coddle. Mello had had to rescue him, Matt had been shot over him, and L's considerable skills were occupied with this case instead of the numerous high-profile murder cases he always had on his roster.
Despite all of that, Near couldn't even provide a reliable account of what had happened.
Perhaps nothing happened except for what Mello saw when he arrived. Near scoffed at his own words even as he thought them. Decades of crime data proved that the best-case scenario was rarely what actually happened. Especially in cases involving mentally unstable kidnappers who weren't afraid to shoot anyone who tried to stop them.
All signs pointed to something darker yet to be revealed. Near's need to know the truth fought with his fear of confirming it all. He'd taken the step now, skipped the painkillers. The truth was within reach, and he had to be brave enough to go toward it.
I could look. Surely there would be some visible sign if he… If that kind of abuse was inflicted, Near thought, rephrasing carefully like it was indeed just a case he was discussing. Cool, detached logic was one way to cope with the overwhelming situation he found himself in.
He gave a slow, drawn out sigh, tossing the blankets off and sitting up in bed. There was no way he could just drift off to sleep.
He tried to examine himself, gripping and starting to roll down the waistband of his pajama pants. The memory of Mikami sliding the fabric down onto his hip flickered through his mind, though, and his breath caught in his throat. He froze.
There was no blood on him now, but he swore he could still feel it, sticky and warm on Mikami's fingertips.
Near sat there for a long time, perfectly silent in the still night. He looked down at himself, at his pale skin and rumpled pajamas. The baggy sleeve of the pajama shirt he wore was pushed back, and in addition to the red strap marks he could see a darkening purple bruise on his slender wrist. No, not one, two...three...four. Four bruises, oblong, all in a close-set row.
Fingers.
It was, he realized, the bruised-on imprint of one of Mikami's hands. He must have grabbed Near's arm so hard that the mark was painted onto him.
Near released the hem of his pants, tracing the outlines of the deranged nurse's fingers on his skin. Thanks to the pills, it hardly even hurt. He bit his lip when he realized that he was shaking.
Why couldn't he remember when that had happened?
Near was so tired. So, so tired. If he slept, though, he was apprehensive about what he might dream of next.
Perhaps if I sit up, I will notice the moment the painkillers wear off.`It seemed like the best plan he had available to him, something useful and productive that he could do. Trying to sleep was nearly pointless. There was just too much information still left unaccounted for, and his mind kept turning over the half-formed puzzle pieces, trying to make them fit together anyway.
Climbing gingerly out of bed, trying to ignore the way his hip ached as he placed his weight on that foot, Near started for the bedroom door. Something made him pause; the plastic T-rex and stegosaurus perched on the bedstand. As foolish as it sounded, they might make good company. Near scooped both up into his arms and stepped softly out into the living room.
His socks made no sound on the plush carpet. The room was silent and dark, just a little moonlight filtering in through the doorway to the kitchen.
Slowly, Near placed the toy dinosaurs onto one cushion of the couch. He climbed onto the couch next, sitting with both legs hanging down since it seemed to bother his sore hip less, and pulled both dinosaurs into his arms again.
All he had to do was wait. If he couldn't make himself remember what had happened, then he would uncover the truth in the evidence.
"Matt. Hey, wake up!" Mello's voice pulled Matt from a deep, dreamless sleep. Groggy, the redhead started to sit up in bed—and gasped as a jolt of pain shot through his wounded shoulder.
Right, got shot, have my arm in a sling...
"Easy, easy..." Mello was patting his good shoulder now almost apologetically. Taking a few deep breaths, Matt tried his best not to sound like he was in pain as he opened his eyes.
Concern and anger reflected back at him in Mello's pale blue gaze. Matt mustered a small smile. He was sure his friend was pissed at Mikami all over again for hurting him, and if there was one person Matt didn't want to start his day talking about, it was the violent nurse.
"I-I'm okay," he assured Mello. "I just kinda forgot I was hurt for a second there. Big mistake…ouch."
Mello grumbled something about strangling Mikami a second time, moving to help Matt sit up and get out of bed.
"We'll have to re-do your bandages after breakfast—L wants us all to come to the living room," he explained.
Matt felt an immediate prickle of uneasiness at that last sentence. What does L want to tell us first thing in the morning? It had to be about Mikami and the case, right? Maybe the evidence had turned up an explanation for Near's memory gap?
Right, Matt thought with yet more uneasiness, glancing at Mello sidelong. I told Near we eavesdropped, but I didn't tell Mello that Near knows.
He decided to wait until after hearing whatever L had to say. Who knew, maybe it was a moot topic now.
They gathered in the living room, where the great detective was standing near the coffee table, one hand shoved into the pocket of his oversized jeans. He was gazing wide-eyed down at the couch, the thumb of the other hand propped up against his bottom lip.
Matt followed his gaze and realized that Near was sitting on the couch, cradling the plastic T-rex and stegosaurus toys in both arms. His fluffy white hair was even messier than usual, and his pajamas looked rumpled.
I wonder if he got up really early, or if he just couldn't sleep? Matt thought, carefully sinking down to sit on the cushion beside him. Near glanced over at him, and his eyes were like pools of darkness. Exhausted. Pained.
"You okay?" Matt whispered to him, startled. Near looked like he was feeling even worse than yesterday.
"I am fine," the younger boy replied softly, his gaze flicking from Matt to Mello and back again. Matt saw the tiniest, most subtle frown crease his brow, and then Near was looking down at the dinosaurs and his expression had slipped back to carefully neutral.
Great, Matt thought, He's in worse shape than he's letting on. If he's in this much pain even with the pills, it can't just be a few bruises…
Darker possibilities came to mind, and he did his best to deflect them. L was talking, which was a welcome distraction.
"…Need to hurry," the great detective was saying. Matt had known L for years. It was unnerving to see the man actually focusing on them as he spoke, rather than playing with some kind of food.
"Why?" Mello demanded, scowling. Matt, who had not caught the first half of what L had said, was even more confused now. Why what? Why hurry?
"Because Mikami broke out of jail last night." L's words rang in all of their ears, and Matt swallowed hard. Beside him, Near looked up quickly, just as surprised as he was.
"He what?" Matt managed to say. How could Mikami escape? He had been locked up tight, especially after the violent struggle with Mello when he was arrested.
"He vanished from his cell last night without a trace, and the locks on the doors were all broken. The security cameras had a far too convenient malfunction during that time frame, as well."
L's wide eyes turned to regard Matt in a sideways glance.
Softly, almost apologetically, he added, "In addition to him being free out there somewhere, I've just discovered that this location is compromised."
Matching that stare uneasily, Matt sat up a little.
"No, no... I hacked the database and deleted all of our info, L," he promised. L knew that, though—Matt knew that L knew that.
Their mentor finally took his hand out of his pocket, and Matt's uneasiness flared when L drew a white envelope out. Stepping closer to the couch, he held it delicately out to Matt between his thumb and index fingertip.
"Even so."
Taking the envelope, Matt frowned and studied it for a second. It was addressed to "Near Kennedy" and did indeed have their current address written on it. The return address stated that it was from the hospital's lab.
"The lab," he began, and L bobbed his head in a quick nod.
"Yes—after Near's allergic reaction to the medication, Dr. Lidner must have ordered some blood work for him. Hospitals use computers for their records these days, but actual containers, such as vials of blood, would have the patient's name and other information printed on the label. They must have printed it before you deleted the data."
Matt felt his pulse thudding in his chest. Off to his right, Mello swore and sat up from where he'd been leaning against the couch.
"And Mikami would know where to find that info! Damn it…"
"So, we've got to move," Matt said glumly, looking at the envelope. L didn't make any motion to take it back from him, instead just sticking his hands into both pockets.
"I'm afraid so. Pack quickly, please. I've already arranged for a new safehouse, and Watari will be here to take us very soon," he said.
Matt nodded. What else could he do? Despite himself, he felt like he'd made some stupid blunder. Taking Near to the hospital had been the right thing to do, and at the time he'd had no idea that Mikami or the hospital might pose a threat later. Their safe house addresses changed frequently, so he'd just put down the current one instead of making something up.
And now their address was about to change again.
Mikami could be out there right now, or on his way. Matt knew that they weren't defenseless—L alone was formidable in a physical fight—but he felt on-edge all the same. His gunshot wound and Near's obviously-pained state didn't make for great options if they actually had a confrontation.
That, and Mikami had had no qualms with shooting people before. Matt couldn't fathom what he would do if Mikami shot L in front of them all.
Stop it, he ordered his overactive brain angrily. Don't even think that!
L was on top of the situation, and that was something. L knew what he was doing, and he dealt with dangerous criminals all the time. The best thing that Matt could do right now was to get packed and move, as quickly as possible.
Near waited until Matt and Mello had left the room, hugging both toy dinosaurs tightly. He had a feeling that L suspected they had more to talk about; the great detective stood there quietly until they were alone, rather than go and pack any of his own belongings.
"Are you in pain, Near? Your eyes look glassy," L murmured, moving over and leaning to look at him more closely.
Near sighed and focused his eyes on the living room carpet. He had to say it, even if it made him look even more like he was lying about the memory gap.
"I didn't take my pain medicine last night," he said quietly.
"I see." L moved over and sat on the couch beside him, pulling both knees up to his chest. He rested his hands delicately on top of them, joining Near in gazing at the carpet as he nodded. "You thought that perhaps, without medication blocking the pain, you might be able to better assess what happened to you."
Near wasn't surprised he'd figured it out. L was incredible at deduction, and if Near had come to the conclusion that examining how his body felt without pain medication would clarify the incident with Mikami, it seemed only natural that his mentor would come to that same conclusion much faster.
The experiment had worked, too. Maybe too well. At some point Near had drifted off to sleep on the couch. He must have been too tired even for nightmares, because he'd been spared any. When he woke up, though...
There was a distinct pain through his lower body, one he had no explanation for. His wrists had ached badly enough to finally peel off the IV poke bandage and look at the second one. Both wrists had the shapes of fingers bruised onto them.
The position of those marks implied being held down—held down by an attacker who was on top of him.
The silence was dragging on, but Near felt sick inside, and it was difficult to force himself to keep talking. He had to, though. If he didn't put the discovery of all of this pain to the test, what was the point?
"I would like to be examined again. By a different doctor," he whispered. "To...to confirm or rule out what everyone seems to suspect that he did to me."
L shifted, and Near could practically feel that dark, wide-eyed gaze on him.
"Of course. I'll take you there myself, just as soon as Matt and Mello are on their way to the new safehouse."
Near nodded a little, keeping his eyes down.
"Thank you."
He felt, abruptly, like he might cry. What if Mikami really had done the worst to him? If L and the others were already treating him so gently when they didn't know for sure, how would they behave, knowing something like that? How could they go back to normal if he'd been through something irreversible...?
"Near." He felt a light touch to his shoulder—L, resting just one index fingertip there gently.
"I-I wish that I could remember," Near whispered, swallowing hard as his throat began to choke up. He brought a hand up beside his face, grabbing that one lock of hair he always curled around his finger and tugging on it. "I'm... I'm sorry, L."
"The memory gap isn't your fault, Near," L said, with comforting certainty in his voice. "And neither is whatever happened during it. I promise."
Near moved the hand up from his hair to cover his mouth, nodding. The reassurance that L didn't think he was weak for how he was handling all of this helped more than Near cared to admit.
Deep down, the worst part of the entire incident had been feeling small and out of control of what happened to him. The last time they'd been to the doctor, it hadn't been Near's choice. This time would be different. He was choosing to go, and he was choosing to find out whatever awful things might have happened during the gap in his memories.
Mikami was free out there somewhere again, but once they moved to the new safehouse, there was no way he could find them.
L was here now, and L was a force to be reckoned with. He would crack this case, Near told himself, and none of them would ever have to see Mikami again.
From the shade of the curtains, a dark figure watched through the window of the house across the street as the black-haired man and Near climbed into the dark car that had pulled up to take them away. Mello came next, grumbling back and forth with Matt while the two wrestled the blonde's motorcycle into the trunk of the redhead's car. It looked difficult with the redhead's arm in a sling, but they managed. Both cars drove away together, the red one moving much faster than the black.
It was no matter. Whichever vehicle he followed, once he did he would know exactly where to go to get Near back once and for all.
-End Chapter 28
In Charge Akugi! Volume 28
Akugi #110
Narrator: The baggy sleeve of the pajama shirt he wore was pushed back, and in addition to the red strap marks he could see a darkening purple bruise on his slender wrist. No, not one, two...three...four.
Near: Hm. They are in little rows of circles. These bruises must be from before Mr. Mikami, from that night I fell asleep on my Lego set.
Akugi #111
Narrator: Decades of crime data proved that the best-case scenario was rarely what actually happened. Especially in cases involving mentally unstable kidnappers who weren't afraid to shoot anyone who tried to stop them.
Near: To be fair, my crime data is heavily biased toward the priorities of the victims. Getting to steal me and shoot Matt was probably pretty close to the best-case scenario for Mr. Mikami's plan from his perspective. Except that he is unstable and didn't plan any of that, so I am giving him far too much credit. u.u
Akugi #112
Narrator: Matt had known L for years. It was unnerving to see the man actually focusing on them as he spoke, rather than playing with some kind of food.
L: C_C Use your powers of deduction, Matt. If I'm focused on you instead...
Matt: *Gulp* Then we ARE the food...?
L: *Sprinkling shaker of salt onto Near's head* Exactly. Oh, could you please pass me the pepper?
Akugi #113
Near: I didn't take my pain medicine last night.
L: I see. You thought that perhaps, without medication blocking the pain, you might be able to better assess what happened to you.
Near: I forgot. Forgot to brush my teeth, too. Oops. u.u
AN: I haven't published something for Death Note in so long that this feels like a time capsule situation. Whether you're an original reader returning or have just discovered the fic, please leave me a comment if you enjoyed the story! See you in Chapter 29...
-Threshie
