Chapter Six: Sodapop Gatsby
Featuring:
Cherry Valance*
Marcia
Buck Merrill
Ponyboy Curtis
Keith "Two-Bit" Matthews
Sodapop Curtis
Dallas Winston
Darrel Curtis
Johnny Cade/
* = featured character narrates part or all of the chapter
/ = character isn't ever physically present in chapter but is still featured
: = original character that wasn't in the original book, movie, or musical and was created for this story
Cherry Valance:
The girls were just leaving. Marcia stayed behind. She closed the door, holding tight to the doorknob as she leaned on the door. "So- you kissed him?" I should've expected this was why she wanted to stay for longer.
I hesitated, but the answer was clear. I did. I didn't think it through. I just grabbed his arm with the cigarette on it and leaned in. I was just mad, mad at Beverly, mad at Dallas, mad at Bob, mad at Marcia, mad at all the Socs. Mad at my being a Soc. I nodded my head as an answer to Marcia.
"W-well did he kiss you back?" I looked around, "Not really" was my best answer. "What do you mean not really? It's a yes or no question Sher-Sher-"
"I don't know! I pulled away before he could really do anything." She put her hands over her face, "Why would you do that??" She answered, groaning. I was a little confused why she was mad at me for making the right choice.
Marcia made her way to my kitchen to grab a bottle of water, slamming the door loudly to make sure I wasn't lost in my head, which had been happening more recently. "You should be happy I had done that Marcia, wouldn't it be worse if I stayed there? What would've happened to me? What would I become?"
She took a big sip of water, closing the cap and slamming it on the counter. I'm starting to think she's just doing the slamming thing on purpose. "You would've been free, you would've been happy. You have to go back there Cherry. You have to see Dallas again." I sighed.
Marcia always had delusion for everyone but herself. Thinking everything is physically and theoretically possible, even if the latter has never proven to be a possibility in Tulsa. She only thinks about things realistically when it comes to herself. And it's because of cowardice. "I can't Marcia and you know it."
"No, no I don't know it! Look how much you've done already, I mean- you can do anything. You broke a barrier when you went on the East Side. What's stopping you from doing whatever the hell you want?"
I paused, she was wrong. She had to be. Everyone would think less of me. Bev would make everyone turn on me. But I still had Marcia, and maybe Emma too. And did I really need anyone else? If I was happy just like Marcia said I'd be, would it take me out of this looping need to be validated?
If the East Side was enough for me, would that patch up the need to be loved by everyone?
"How about this Sher-Sher, I'll go with you. We'll be two Soc Girls on the East Side." I could see the part of her that wanted me to say yes for her own benefit, as an excuse for her to come to the East Side. But I also saw the part of her that really thought I needed this.
"Let's go." She smiled. There was nothing happier than Marcia in that moment, she didn't even try to hide her excitement that should've been reluctance. "Yes! Let's stop by my house, I found these leather pants the other day and there's really nowhere to wear them on the West Side. Oh! And you can borrow my sister's old leather jacket, she was going to donate it but it deserves one last use.."
The leather jacket made me feel sweaty, well, maybe it was the nerves too. I only go to the East Side by impulse, not when I actually think it through. You aren't nervous on impulse, because you're not thinking, but you are nervous when you do think it through.
We went to where Dallas stays. I don't remember who owns the place but he's the guy who runs the rodeos, I know his name starts with a B. It might be inconvenient not knowing his name.
We waited a few hours to go, it's less suspicious to hang around the East Side in the evenings when there's hundreds of party's and get togethers. I knocked gently on the door, I felt hesitant, why do I feel hesitant? The guy I don't remember the name to opened the door. "Party's goin' on at the Curtis Brother's home. Celebratin' that Pony guy for getting into advanced literature."
I nodded, it seemed weird if I asked him where Dallas was if he'd just said there wasn't no party here, "Dallas ain't here, he's part of the Curtis brother gang though, I'd bet ya he's o'er there." I nodded, walking away a little embarrassed. Did anyone else see me over there looking for Dallas?
"How'd he know Sher-Sher? How many people have ya been conversing with here?" She smirked a little and it reminded me of Dallas. I shook my head. "I hadn't conversed with anyone else, I guess he must've seen me, I've gotta be more careful."
Marcia nodded, smiling. She likes to talk like a greaser, using informal terms the Soc Girls would hate. This is the only place where she can do that in public. "You know the way to the Curtis Brothers' house?" I nodded, I'm sure I've seen Bev walk there before.
It took a few wrong turns but eventually we got there. I wondered if Dally would actually come to something like this, would he want to celebrate Ponyboy? Would he care? He cares about Johnny, maybe he cares about Pony too.
Marcia knocked on the door this time. "Ain't no party gonna hear you knocking that gently Sher-Sher." I didn't protest because I knew Marcia was playing around. She's just excited. Ponyboy opened the door, and I'm glad he did because I probably would've gotten weird looks by anyone else seeing us here. He was still skeptical though.
"Cherry? Marcia? Did someone tell you 'bout this?" He questioned, squinting as if he couldn't believe he was seeing Soc Girls on the East Side. "Yeah, congrats Pony." I smiled at him, wondering how I was ever going to get to the point of where Dallas was.
But I guess didn't have to, Marcia did it for me. "So Ponyboy, ya see Dally 'round here?" She smiled again, I think Marcia was born to be a greaser girl, she just moved to the wrong side.
Pony shook his head, looking at me. "Sorry. He ain't here no more, didn't say why he left. He dropped by to give me this though." Pony half smiled as he ran to get his little gift.
It was a book, called the 'Great Gatsby' with a little note on it. The handwriting was surprisingly good. Nothing formal, because that wasn't Dallas' style. It had careless strokes of a pencil that aligned to make perfectly readable words. It said,
'Pony,
I found this 'round the block the other day, I read a bit and thought you would dig it. Them rich people are kinda like the Socs if ya squint.' Congrats man, the rest of us couldn't have ever done what you've done. Do all us dumbasses proud.'
"I read that, you'll like it a lot Pony. Jay Gatsby reminds me a bit of Soda, the way he looks at love and reacts to it. They're both determined when they love." I told him. What I didn't say was how I saw Dallas and I in Jordan Baker and Nick Carraway. How Jordan was rich and Nick wasn't, and they loved each other in way they hadn't ever loved before.
But even though they had love, their social and financial differences broke them apart. A love that could've been, but couldn't be just because of a barrier. I wondered that if even if Dallas and I were able to make something, if it could ever last. Differences break every love I've ever read.
Romeo and Juliet, Montagues and Capulets. Nick and Jordan, Old Money and a Veteran. How can I ever expect something out of this when the odds are against me? And I don't even know if Dallas is with me.
"I bet I will like it. No one else got me anything ya know. And I wouldn't have expected Dallas of all people to be the first and only one. Well actually, Darry and Soda got me chocolate milk. Pretty much just Darry, Soda hasn't left our room."
'Oh' I mouthed. I looked at the closed door that must've been their room. "Do you think I can go i-"
"Hey! Are those sum Socy broadsss? How long's it been, well ya haven't aged a bit!" It was Two-Bit, possibly even more crazy than normal, based off of what I know about him at least.
"Hasn't been that long. Woulda been shorter if you'd just call a girl." Marcia said, she was smiling. It was a big smile and you could still tell she was holding a bit of it back. If Marcia really did smile to her fullest she'd look like she's having a sugar rush.
"Aw shit, that was your real real number? Well c'mhere and write it down again won't ya?.." Marcia didn't hesitate to go.
"You can go." Ponyboy said, I nodded my head and smiled at him, a little too caught up in the noise to think about thanking him.
I knocked on the door, louder this time because of what Marcia told me. I heard a groan from inside and took that as an 'okay' to come in. "Sodapop?" I cautiously walked in. He was on his bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. I definitely understood what everyone saw in him, even thought he looked so gloomy, he was still a looker.
He's nice too, real good guy. Beverly doesn't understand what a good guy she has. "Valencia?" He asked. "Uh, Cherry Valance." He groaned, but didn't move. "Close enough," I had the urge to smile, but kept it to myself. He buried his head into the pillow. "How'd I not know Bevy had another guy Val? How'd I expect to be the only one? I'm never the only oneee!" He moaned into the pillow.
Since his head was down I could see the grease in his hair. It was the only part of him that didn't look very put together, probably because he was in bed, and greasers just liked having their hair all over the place.
His clothes were clean and his sweater was perfectly folded on his nightstand. He had nice style too. He deserved to be the only one, he was much better than Jack Hugos. But when it comes to a Soc and a greaser, a Soc girl always has to choose the Soc. But Bev shouldn't have had both of them in the first place.
"Not everyone's great around here, well most people aren't great actually. There'll be someone though, and they'll appreciate the way you love." Soda looked up, his eyes were a little red but I wouldn't dare to assume he was crying. "What does that even mean?" He whined.
"It- it means you love loud, you know? You wear your heart on your sleeve. And someone somewhere is gonna tell you that's what they love about you." He smiled, he had pearly white teeth. He really was catch, hopefully someone will truly see that.
I heard voices get louder out in the other rooms. The only words I could truly make out were Two-Bit's, "Hey look who's back! Took yer time didn't ya?" I looked back at Soda, mentally asking him if he was going to go outside with me. He understood and shook his head politely.
I rushed out of there, trying to stay light on my feet knowing that Dallas would hear me if I was stomping. I peaked through the doorway that went into the entrance. I saw Dallas leaning against the doorframe of their front door.
I hid, leaning against the kitchen's wall. I took another peak and saw Dallas hold his hands up mockingly, you could kind of tell that he's held his hands up like that for the police hundreds of times before, I don't know how, there's just something about the way he does it.
"Sorry man, went over to the cooler and got Johnny to write this one a little letter. It ain't much, but it'll do the job." He gestured roughly at Ponyboy when saying 'this one' and Ponyboy smiled.
Pony ran to grab the letter harshly, "Easy bud, ya might just rip the thing." He kept smiling. He looked hesitant like he was considering something, but then he got out of his head and gave Dallas a big hug. Dallas smirked with his mouth open.
It might be true, Dallas might care about people. What has that burning church done to him? Do I like it? Yes. Yes I do. I love it. Pony backed up to stand next to his brother who gave him a hard pat on the back.
I should go out there. I should tell him I want to talk to him. I should go out there. I'm going out there. I reluctantly stepped out of the kitchen, immediately beginning to miss my cozy hideout.
"Sher-Sher!" Marcia cheered, she had the happy-go-lucky expression printed on her that was clearly inspired by Two-Bit's matching facial expression.
I didn't give her much mind, I looked at Dallas instead, who was already looking at me. It felt like he was the only one in the room. He was looking at me with an unreadable expression that no one could copy even if they tried.
He was the first to break eye contact. He looked back at Ponyboy and clicked his tongue, "I'm gon' go now, great job man, I thought they was just kidding 'bout that brain of yours." He winked at Pony and left. Ponyboy knew that Dallas' affection was rare, so he knew he really must've deserved it, which made his smile even bigger.
Although, Dallas' affection is becoming more open. I bet he wouldn't have been caught dead hugging people or giving gifts before Pony and Johnny killed Bob. He's changing for the better. He turned and left, leaving me before I even had a chance to tell him not to leave.
"What's it say Pony?" Darrel asked. I walked over to the brothers to get my own look.
'Hey Pony, I appreciate you visiting me every Sunday, it means a whole lot. Promise me we'll still see each other that much when I'm out will ya? We can go to the lot or sumn. But I ain't too sure how much I'll be able to get out now that Dally's in charge of me. Did he tell ya that? He's taking custody of me, talked it all out with my parents and everything. I know it won't be the same as loving parents but I'll have a brother, a guardian who does care 'bout me, and it means the whole wide world.
Anyway, congrats with the whole advanced English thing, you deserve every bit of it. I ain't sure how much my advice will affect you since you're very clearly gettin' along better than most of us but I wanna tell ya, don't hesitate Pony. Hesitation kills ya. I know it don't make too much sense but it's true and I've seen it. You think if I had hesitated I would've been able to kill Bob? Nah, I wouldn't have been able to, and you would've been dead in the water. And if Dal hesitated to save me I would've been up in flames. Don't wait for shit Pony, if you know it's right, and it feels right what the hell is the point of waiting? You could lose somethin' great by hesitating. And you're gon' be handed an awful lot of great things, so don't hesitate -Johnny'
Hesitation kills you, do what feels right. What feels right for me?
Reading Johnny's letter taught me something Marcia has been trying to get through to me. This feels right, Dallas feels right. It all feels right, being here, with these people, on this side. "I've gotta go" I muttered. And I rushed out of there quickest I could.
I ran, because I knew where he was.
He was there, just like I expected. Smoking a cigarette, it's a picture that's been memorized and repainted in my head hundreds of times. How can I be in love with someone who's nothing like me?
I knew he was aware of my presence, he always is. I don't know how he does it, but he does. This time he hadn't said anything. He just kept smoking.
Is he going to ignore me? Did I scare him away? No I couldn't have, I couldn't have scared Dallas Winston away.
But what if I had? What if I came on too strong. I tried to speak nonchalantly, even though I was panicked. I was worried I lost something I was willing to risk my reputation for. "Aren't you worried about lung cancer?"
He paused, sucking the cigarette, then blowing. "It'd really be somethin' if cancer could get me for good before the fuzz does." He didn't move, he just kept smoking. You could tell there were less wisecracks up his sleeve this time. "At least you're self aware." I shrugged
He looked at me for a second before responding. It felt weird. It was so uneasy here. Something besides nerves. "Harder not to be don't ya think?" I nodded. It's harder to lie to yourself than tell the truth, that's for sure.
"Hot jacket." He said. I guess I got something out of wearing it. Leather doesn't go well for summer weather, but I really did feel like a greaser girl. I understand why Marcia enjoys the East Side.
Dallas offered me a cigarette. I thought about saying no, but I'm not sure when I'll even be able to smoke again. I surely won't be able to do it at home with my dad around so I took it.
I remembered how Dallas showed me how to do it. Suck. Blow. And that's what I did. Suck. Blow. "By the way." Suck. "I'm sorry about, you know," Blow. "kissing you." I better pray that sounded casual. How can I ever be casual in situations like these? I wonder if he can tell.
He laughs. Not a small muttered chuckle, a laugh. "Cmon baby that was a barely a kiss." Suck. "Oh, really?" I asked him sarcastically. Blow. He laughed again.
"Were you and Bob just them cute little high school sweethearts or sumn? You wouldn't be saying nothin' like that if you was ever kissed by Dallas Winston." He said it the same way I said his name, I knew it was his intention to mock me.
Suck. Blow. "Is that a challenge?" I leaned a little closer to him, he smirked. "Hell yeah it is baby." I dropped the cigarette on my lap. It burned a little but Dallas threw it into the river before kissing me too fast for it to actually hurt.
I was sure about everything in that moment. This was the side I wanted to be on. This was the person I wanted to be with. Marcia made sense. And I really was in love. I knew nothing about love if I thought what I had with Bob was anything at all. This is beautiful, this is hot, this is expressive.
His kisses are captivating. He can be gentle, but most of the time he isn't. I reached for his hand and he gave it to me. It was calloused but warm. His grip was tight and possessive. This was a feeling I never felt before. This is a love I'll never be ready to let go.
He intertwined our fingers and it almost convinced me this could be more than a regretful hookup. But it couldn't be. It just couldn't. He used his other hand to pull me up on top of him. I felt that rough hand travel from my hair to my hips.
I was kissing him back with all the love I had to offer, and I hope he felt it. I hope he knew. I was loving the way Soda did. Loud. Determined. Sure. I need this moment to never leave me.
