Chapter 25: The Heroics of Cody Rhodes
The brutal communistic sun blazed upon the scorched lands of the fallen nation of the United States of America with an infernal cast straight from the bowels of communistic hell itself, the Sun itself had intensified following the rise of the Skibidi Toilets which had ruined and utterly destroyed the nation of the United States of America.
But the heroic patriots of the United States weren't going to let the nation fall to communistic ideals, such was an American patriotic act.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING: Cody Rhodes Theme Song (Crowd and Arena effects Recommended)
The blazing lights of Seattle, Washington roared loudly as Cody Rhodes approached the looming city with nothing more than his black hummer which was modified with a massive plow meant for cleaving zombies, Skibidi Toilets and other pieces of shit which could threaten the American Nightmare.
Cody Rhodes arrived near the Space Needle and promptly leapt out of his vehicle, landing on a Skibidi Toilet and smashing its corpse into pieces with elfonic fuckrage which pulsed through the veins of The American Nightmare himself with elfin fervor and freedom.
Cody Rhodes entered the Space Needle and promptly logged onto one of the old computers and hacked into a radar located in Area 51 with a password provided by none other than the president of the United States, Sam Darnold.
"This is Cody Rhodes speaking, looks like we've got a fuck-ton of Skibidi Toilets and other unspeakable pieces of shit had begun spreading across the United States of America and as The American Nightmare... it hurts my soul to see the Skibidi Toilets spreading their Anarcho-Communist ideology."
Cody Rhodes spoke through the PARA-RAID device which had been connected to his ear, he spoke to the leader of the United States of America... Sam Darnold, the God Emperor Quarterback of the United States... or GEQBUS.
"Thanks for your observation Agent Cody Rhodes, but I need you to haul your Royal Rumble winnin' ass over to Mount Rushmore for a meeting with the rest of SEAL Team Eight... we've got big plans to assist the reformation of the United States of America and we need your ass so we can spread the gravy of reformation over these fucks"
The president of the United States, Sam Darnold had spoken through the PARA-RAID device with a dignified and articulate tone which was befitting of the GEQBUS himself, Sam Darnold had begun to head towards the secret base which was the home to SEAL Team Eight, a faction of eight Americans who's goal was to bring the resurrection of the United States of America and while they lacked the true firepower that was needed to resurrect the United States of America by itself, they had gone by the idea of supporting certain factions which supported their ideals and their goals of resurrecting America with elfin fervor.
Seal Team Eight: Members
Sam Darnold: President of the United States of America, the God Emperor Quarterback of the United States (G.E.Q.B.U.S)
Cody Rhodes: Leader of the Secret Service which assisted the President of the United States, Sam Darnold.
Clownpiece: American General who supported the resurrection of America after the betrayal of the armed forces during the events of the Skibidi-Pocalypse.
Captain Underpants: America Superhero who defeats evil fuckwraiths without a care in the world, the all-time American Superhero.
Guy Fieri: The Mayor of FlavorTown and the personal chef of Seal Team Eight.
Ms. Frizzle: Crazy son-of-a-bitch who wields a crazy magical school bus which can do crazy shit.
John Cena: The buddy of Cody Rhodes and the current leader of the WWE
Chika Fujiwara: The Daughter of a prominent politician who aligned herself with American Ideals and Capitalism.
Cody Rhodes traveled down the space needle and by the time he arrived at the bottom, he was greeted by a hoard of Skibidi Toilets... causing the American Nightmare to let out a deafening roar of fuckrage.
The first of the Skibidi Toilets lunged, its mouth snapping viciously as it lunged at Rhodes for a vicious headbutt attempt. Cody sidestepped its predictable attack with smoothness, his movements a blur of predatory grace and brought his groinsaw down with an explosive force of fuckrage and death, the groinsaw's teeth bit into the gnarled skull of the Skibidi Toilet, sending pieces of bone and viscera flying and reducing the creature to a heap of bloody pulp, bodily fluids and all other forms of unspeakable gore and violence.
Another Skibidi Toilet approached from behind, its mouth opening and closing rapidly, but Cody swung his groinsaw in a wide arc of death, decapitating the attacker in a spray of viscera, blood and brain matter as Cody Rhodes swung his groinsaw through the chicken neck of the Skibidi Toilet, murdering the FUCK out of it and tossing its gnarled heads into the bay of Seattle, Washington. He spun on his heel, his boots grinding against the concrete and leapt into the air, his massive form silhouetted against the neon glow of the city. He landed with a bone-crushing impact, the force splintering another Skibidi Toilet beneath his boots... causing a red carpet of blood to spread out from underneath the body of the now crushed Skibidi Toilet, killed by the American Nightmare himself.
Cody's movements were a symphony of violence and elfonic fuckrage, each strike precise and devastating as fuck... He drove his groinsaw into the neck of an approaching Skibidi Toilet, the motor roaring as it ripped through bone and skin, spraying vile fluids of viscera in all directions. He wrenched the groinsaw free and swung it around, cleaving another assailant in half with a single, brutal stroke from his groinsaw.
The horde seemed endless, but Cody Rhodes was unstoppable and full of American Fuckrage. He pivoted, kicking a Skibidi Toilet square in the skull and shattering it into pieces, sending it crashing into its brethren and with a swift, powerful motion, he brought his groinsaw down on another Skibidi Toilet, the chainsaw's roar mixing with the toilet's death throes in a cacophony of destruction as the Skibidi Toilet roared in pain, its neck and skull being sliced apart in a violent and destructive dance of death.
Cody Rhodes was drenched in the gore of his enemies, he stood victorious amidst the shattered remnants of the Skibidi Toilets and their gnarled corpses. The American Nightmare had once again proven his unyielding might which was fueled by American Patriotism and burning fuckrage and as he wiped the blood from his grizzled face and revved his groinsaw one last time, he knew the battle was far from over, but at least he could now head to Mount Rushmore to meet with the rest of Seal Team Eight.
Cody's PARA-RAID device crackled to life as he finished his fight with the Skibidi Toiletse, the voice of the GEQBUS, Sam Darnold cutting through the chaos and fuck-fury that had just taken place at the bottom of the Space Needle, "Agent Rhodes, status report... how're you doin' my liberty-kin?!"
Cody grinned wickedly, his teeth bared in a savage smile as he drove his saw through the final Skibidi Toilet and thrusted it deeply into its ruined skull, its screams silenced by the unrelenting fuck-fury of his attack. "This is Cody Rhodes. The Space Needle is clear. Moving to Mount Rushmore as ordered... lets fucking do this shit."
He deactivated the groinsaw and tucked it inside of his wrestling trunks, its deadly teeth slick with the remnants and bloody-retina covered swath of his enemies, Cody Rhodes surveyed the battlefield of Seattle, Washington after a mandatory inspection. The shattered remains of Skibidi Toilets littered the ground which he stood upon, a testament to his unparalleled might and his testicular fuckrage. Cody Rhodes, the American Nightmare, climbed back into his hummer, the engine roaring to life as he sped towards his next mission... Mount Rushmore, the Headquarters of Seal Team Eight.
God Forgives, But Cody Rhodes Doesn't!
Cody Rhodes felt his loins pulsate with American Fuckrage and armed with nothing more than his Chainsaw Dick and his titanic Strength, The American Nightmare sautners forth across the battlefield which was filled with unspeakable fuckwraiths such as Skibidi Toilets and zombified Al-Qaeda terrorists.
Cody Rhodes lets out a yell of fuckrage as his fists are encased in holy fuck-fire which burned Red, White and Blue... he had gone on a ballistic massacre as he had pulled out his bladed chode again and with elfin fervor... relished the blood and viscera which spills over his statuesque chest feverently and with the utmost patriotic fuckrage.
"Cody, what the fuck is going on overthere on the other side of the PARA-RAID device, everything alright... Cody-Kun?"
The Patriotic and dignified voice of Sam Darnold could be heard from the other side of the PARA-RAID device, he was patiently waiting for the arrival of Cody Rhodes back at Mount Rushmore so he could begin his new patriotic act.
Cody Rhodes grinned smugly, wiping the gore from his face and revving his groinsaw one last time before deactivating it again after he had cleared the fuckwraiths which had approached him prior. "All clear on my end, GEQBUS. Just finished clearing out a horde of Skibidi Toilets and zombified terrorists... Seattle's looking a lot cleaner now. On my way to Mount Rushmore as we speak. Let's get this patriotic show on the road... USA USA USA."
The American Nightmare climbed into his hummer, the engine roaring to life as he sped away from the battlefield of Seattle, Washington after his work there had been done. The neon lights of Seattle faded in the rearview mirror, replaced by the open road ahead which beckoned before Cody Rhodes. Cody's heart pounded with elfin fervor and insatiable bloodlust, his veins coursing with American Fuckrage and fuck-fury. He knew that his mission was far from over and that he still had some bullshit to get through, but with the spirit of freedom burning within him, he was ready to face whatever lay ahead of him... he was the American Nightmare and he was going to fuck over all Skibidi Toilets until all hell freezes over and America is reborn, rejuvenated and resuscitated.
As he drove towards Mount Rushmore, Cody's mind raced with thoughts of the upcoming meeting with SEAL Team Eight. They had a mission to resurrect the United States of America and Cody Rhodes, the American Nightmare, was determined to see it through. His groinsaw, now tucked safely in his wrestling trunks, was ready for whatever battles lay ahead... it was his ultimate weapon, the chainsaw dick.
The hummer's plow was reinforced with fuckrage and ready for carnage, it gleamed ominously as Cody sped down the highway with elfin fervor. Ahead, a horde of Skibidi Toilets cluttered the road, their porcelain bowls and their human heads bobbing and their chants constant and horrific as fuck. Cody's eyes narrowed at the Skibidi Toilets, a savage smile spreading across his face as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel... his palms soaking with his sweat which smelled like Mountain Dew.
With a deafening roar, the hummer plowed into the horde of Skibidi Toilets, the reinforced steel cutting through the Skibidi Toilets like a hot knife through butter. Blood and porcelain sprayed across the plow and the road, painting a gruesome picture of destruction and their Skibidi Chants were silenced by deafening screams of unimaginable agony and tumultuous shell splintering of death, such was the act of the American Nightmare. The none of the Skibidi Toilets, were able to withstand the sheer force of Cody's tumultuous assault, they shattered upon impact, their pieces scattering like leaves in a storm... blood and porcelain lining the plow.
The hummer surged forward and barrelled down the roads, unstoppable and relentless as fuck. Cody reveled in the chaos like the motherfucker he was, his elfin fervor igniting a blaze of fuckrage within his American Soul. The road ahead was a battlefield of death and destruction and he was its conqueror, its master. Skibidi Toilets crumbled beneath the might of his vehicle, their twisted forms left in ruins as he carved a path of freedom and justice.
Chunks of porcelain and sprays of blood coated the hummer, the once-clean plow now a testament to the carnage left in its wake... Cody's grin widened as he saw the devastation he wrought for he was The American Nightmare and each shattered toilet was a step closer to America's rebirth, but now he had to return to Sam Darnold, the God Emperor Quarterback of the United States of America. The roar of the engine mixed with the crunch of breaking porcelain and the wet thud of crushed bodies, creating a symphony of destruction that spurred him onward... exciting his Chainsaw dick.
As the last of the Skibidi Toilets fell beneath his hummer, Cody felt a surge of triumph and the testosterone boiled and roared in his pants, creating a sexual ecstasy. The road ahead was clear, but his mission was far from over. The American Nightmare drove on, his heart filled with unyielding resolve and patriotic fervor. Mount Rushmore and SEAL Team Eight awaited him and with them, the next chapter in his quest to resurrect the United States of America would be revealed to him in great detail.
With each mile passed, Cody Rhodes knew he was one step closer to his goal of reaching Mount Rushmore. The spirit of freedom burned brighter within him, fueled by the blood and fuck-fury of his enemies. He would not rest until every last Skibidi Toilet was destroyed and America stood tall once more from the unholy grip of Skibidi Toilet influences. The battle was far from over, but Cody Rhodes was ready to lead the charge, armed with his chainsaw dick and an unbreakable will which had helped him overcome the fuckwraith that was Roman Reigns.
The open road stretched out before him and with a final roar of defiance, Cody Rhodes pressed the pedal to the floor even harder, the hummer surging forward into the night with patriotic fuckrage. The American Nightmare was on a mission, and nothing would stand in his way.
Cody Rhodes turned on the PARA-RAID device and began speaking to Sam Darnold, he was roughly thirty minutes away from Mount Rushmore, his voice diligent and calm... a far cry from the arousal that had gripped him after slaying the Skibidi Toilets.
"GEQBUS, this is Cody Rhodes. I'm about thirty minutes out from Mount Rushmore and the road's clear of Skibidi Toilets for now. Ready for the next phase of the mission... whatever that may be good sir."
Sam Darnold's voice crackled back through the device, carrying the weight of authority and the unmistakable tone of a leader, such was the way of the GEQBUS. "Good to hear, Cody-Kun. We're set up and waiting for you to arrive. We've got intel and plans to go over. Your efforts in Seattle were impressive, but there's more work to be done. We need to ensure the safety and future of our nation... we need to support our groups of American Patriots and we need to discuss the problem that is the communist known as Winnie the Pooh."
Cody nodded, even though Sam couldn't see him from the other side. "Understood. I'll be there soon. Let's get this done and show these bastards what true American fuckrage looks like."
As he sped down the open road, Cody's thoughts turned to the meeting ahead of him. SEAL Team Eight was a group of elite warriors and American Patriots, each one dedicated to the mission of resurrecting the United States of America from its ashes which had happened rapidly due to the impact of the Skibidi-Pocalypse. Cody felt a surge of pride and determination within him and together with the rest of Seal Team Eight, they would bring freedom and justice back to the land of the United States of America.
The landscape around him began to change, the rugged beauty of the Black Hills coming into view before him. Mount Rushmore loomed in the distance, a symbol of the nation's enduring spirit and the power of democracy and freedom, USA USA USA. Cody's heart swelled with a mix of reverence and resolve. This was what he was fighting for – the ideals and values that made America great... Freedom, Democracy, McDonalds, Sushi, Porno, Fake-tits, band-aids, baseball, NFL, Reeboks, Wal-mart, GAP, Rock n' Roll, Starbucks, Disneyworld, Taco Bell, Rodeos, Liberty and Popeye.
As he neared his destination, the PARA-RAID device crackled to life once more. "Ah, Cody-Kun, one more thing," Sam Darnold's voice came through, firm and resolute. "We trust you to lead this charge. Your strength and determination are what we need right now. SEAL Team Eight is counting on you."
Cody's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his resolve solidifying to rock the fuck out. "I won't let you down, GEQBUS. We'll bring America back, no matter the cost."
With Mount Rushmore drawing closer to his position, Cody Rhodes felt a renewed sense of purpose and fuckrage. The American Nightmare was ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead before him, armed with his chainsaw dick, his unwavering fuckrage, and the spirit of freedom burning within him. The battle for the soul of America was far from over, but Cody was ready to lead the charge and carve a path to victory with his chainsaw dick in hand and the powers of his fellow companions.
The hummer roared as it ascended the final stretch, the faces of the great American presidents carved into the mountainside serving as a reminder of the nation's enduring legacy and Cody Rhodes, fueled by elfin fervor and an unbreakable will, was ready to write the next chapter in America's story.
Cody Rhodes arrived at the base of Mount Rushmore which loomed before him with its patriotic gaze and not a single Skibidi Toilet in sight for it was the final fortress that America had left following the Skibidi-Pocalypse where the motherfucking Skibidi Toilets had spread their Anarcho-Communist ideology across the globe with bullshit and porcelain, the sheer patriotism of Mount Rushmore had made it the only safe place in America left for the American Patriots... but access had been cut off to prevent communist-brained diseased Americans from entering the prestigious monument of America and tainting the sacred place of freedom which had been constructed years ago, it was an unfortunate case of the average population of America having been diseased and rotten from communist ideals due to the spread of the Skibidi Toilets and various other forms of unspeakable evils which had begun to align themselves with the Skibidi Toilets and SEAL Team Eight, led by none other than the God Emperor Quarterback of the United States of America himself, Sam Darnold had witnessed the land of the United States of America fall before him with the Skibidi Toilets and those American traitors who had aligned themselves with those pieces of communist porcelain bullshit... and it was in Sam Darnold's best intention to support the heroic patriots who were fighting against Skibidi Toilet threat, rebelling against the communist ideals which had overtaken the United States of America following its fall, the collapse of civilization had allowed for the Anarcho-Communist ideals to spread as the status quo had been destroyed by the Skibidi-Pocalypse... and it pissed the American Patriots off, they had to keep the United States of America standing at all costs... or risk losing it all.
With the cries of liberty and democracy buried by the Skibidi Toilets, Sam Darnold, Cody Rhodes and SEAL Team Eight had to restore American Values and Democracy back into America or risk letting the millions of American Soldiers and the founding fathers to have died in vain... and they couldn't allow for that bullshit to happen to their American Brethren.
Cody Rhodes's loins pulsated as he stepped onto the base of Mount Rushmore with elfin fervor before quickly being greeted by a red 1968 Camaro which was swathed in the blood of the fucklings that it had killed and riding the iconic red vehicle was none other than the mayor of FlavorTown himself, Guy Fieri.
"Yo, Guy... what's with the blood on the front of your vehicle? Did you murder the fuck out of some Skibidi Toilets too?" Cody Rhodes asked, Guy Fieri finished eating his cartilage-filled sandwich... for it was a cartilage and mustard sandwich.
"You know it, Cody. These Skibidi Toilets thought they could mess with FlavorTown's mayor. Turns out, they couldn't handle the heat. Took 'em down like the greasy trash they are... took their asses to FlavorTown!"
Cody chuckled, a sense of camaraderie washing over him. "Good to see we're on the same page, Fieri-Kun~. I've been dealing with those porcelain bastards all the way from Seattle. It's good to know I'm not alone in this fight."
Guy Fieri's eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and determination which overcame his body. "We're in this together, broski~. The GEQBUS has big plans, and it starts with us taking out these Skibidi Toilets and any other threats to America. You ready to roll, Cody-Kun~?"
Cody's heart swelled with patriotic fervor which spread throughout his American-clad body. "Hell yeah, I'm ready. Let's head to the meeting with SEAL Team Eight and get this show on the road."
With that, Cody Rhodes climbed into the Camaro after parking his hummer in the private garage of SEAL Team Eight, joining Guy Fieri in their ride throughout the trees and the mysterious road. The engine roared to life, and they sped towards the secret base at Mount Rushmore, the blood of their enemies drying on the vehicle's hood like a badge of honor.
As they approached the entrance, the PARA-RAID device crackled to life again. "Cody, Guy, welcome to Mount Rushmore. SEAL Team Eight is assembled and ready for briefing."
The Camaro skidded to a halt and Cody and Guy stepped out, their resolve unshakable and their loins pulsating with patriotic fuckrage. They were here to reclaim their nation, to spread the gravy of reformation over the land, and to ensure that freedom and justice prevailed... USA USA USA!
Inside the base, SEAL Team Eight awaited, a group of elite Americans each as determined and fierce as Cody and Guy. The mission ahead was daunting, but together, they were unstoppable. The resurrection of the United States of America was within their grasp, and they would stop at nothing to achieve it.
As the team gathered around the briefing table, the air was thick with anticipation and resolve. Cody Rhodes, the American Nightmare, looked around at his fellow Americans and knew they were ready for whatever lay ahead. The battle for America's soul had only just begun, but with the strength and unity of SEAL Team Eight, victory was inevitable.
"So what is the plan Darnold-sama~? Cuz I'm gettin' bored and waitin' to slay some fuckin' Skibidi Toilets" Spoke Clownpiece, the former Hell Fairy who had been raptured from the world of Touhou Project to the land of America, she was so patriotic that her outfit was based on the American Flag.
Sam Darnold arrived and sat down upon his table, his massive penis was too large to be contained without showing and his chadliness was off the charts as the GEQBUS himself.
"First, we identify the fuckwraiths which have begun ruining the United States of America, those are what we call the Skibidi Toilets," Sam Darnold spoke diligently, his massive muscles barely contained by the tuxedo that he wore, threatening to spill out, "But more important are the fucks who have begun supporting the Skibidi Toilets and have betrayed America which led to this fucked-up circumstances."
John Cena was eager to ask Sam Darnold who these people were, Sam Darnold only knew the identity of an Anarcho-Communist group which calls themselves "The Illuminati" which is led by the G-man Toilet while the rest of the members are unknown other than Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland who had been killed off.
John Cena leaned forward, his expression serious. "Who are these traitors, Sam? We need to know who we're up against... name the fuckin' bastards."
Sam Darnold's eyes darkened as he revealed the identities of their enemies. "The main group behind this chaos is an Anarcho-Communist organization calling themselves 'The Illuminati.' Their leader is none other than the G-man Toilet and they've been mostly very secretive about their identities, this group has infiltrated various sectors of our society, spreading their vile ideology and supporting the Skibidi Toilets who coincidentally spout Anarcho-Communist garbage and kill people, I wouldn't be surprised if the two were correlated."
The mention of the Illuminati sent a ripple of anger through the room. The team members exchanged glances, their resolve hardening and their loins pulsating with American fuckrage and blood.
Sam Darnold continued, "We have managed to identify two key members of the Illuminati Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland. Both were treacherous fucks who aligned themselves with the Skibidi Toilets with their cultish practices, however, they have been eliminated by an American faction known as the New England Patriots. Their deaths have sent a clear message, but the fight is far from over."
Clownpiece's eyes lit up with a fierce determination and elfonic American Fuckrage, "So, we just need to find the G-man Toilet and take down the rest of the Illuminati, right?"
"Exactly," Sam Darnold affirmed. "The G-man Toilet is our primary target. But be aware, the Illuminati is vast and deeply entrenched. We must root them out and destroy them, ensuring no trace of their influence remains."
Sam Darnold stood with his statuesque chest gleaming in the rays of sun which touch upon his holy temple which the Lord had bestowed upon him, "Then let's move out. SEAL Team Eight, we do not know the other members of the Illuminati and I request that four of you guys head to four separate factions when they need our help... we must support our troops!"
Sam Darnold then looked at Chika Fujiwara and bellowed at her to wake the fuck up.
Chika Fujiwara stirred from her deep slumber, her eyes blinking open as she groggily sat up and looked at the prestigious face of Sam Darnold himself, "Huh? What's going on?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
Sam Darnold fixed her with a stern gaze which could melt vibranium. "Chika, we need your attention. We have a crucial mission ahead of us... I call it Operation Touchdown."
Chika blinked, fully awake now. "Oh! Right, sorry about that. What's the plan, Sam?"
Sam Darnold's expression softened slightly as he explained the situation to Chika Fujiwara, "We're facing a threat to America unlike anything we've seen before. An organization called the Illuminati, led by the G-man Toilet is spreading chaos and supporting the Skibidi Toilets which have caused a crazy spread of communism and other bullshit ideologies to poison the planet and we need four people to volunteer to help out four notable factions that exist in America, are you willing?"
Chika Fujiwara felt her boobs pulsate with elfin fervor as she nodded, "Fuck yeah... which one is the most powerful so far?"
Sam Darnold pulled out his laptop and looked at the four notable factions, the most powerful Pro-American faction in America currently was the Mental Out Faction, Chika would join that faction due to her desire to do so.
"Alright, now where is that fucker Captain Underpants at? He's late!"
Sam Darnold must've spoken too soon as Captain Underpants came bursting through the walls, his nipples hardening as he straightened out his cape... Tra la la~!
"Tra la la~! Sorry I'm late, everyone!" Captain Underpants exclaimed, his voice cheerful despite his tardiness. He straightened his cape which was soaked with blood and porcelain, his eyes twinkling with remorse. "I got a little carried away fighting off some Skibidi Toilets on my way here. You know how it is... had to break their necks with my loins and my chest!"
Sam Darnold's stern gaze softened at the sight of Captain Underpants and his blood-soaked cape. "It's alright, Captain. We're just glad you're here now... good job slaying those porcelain fucks."
The rad and wicked voice of Guy Fieri chimed in as his voice was bright with enthusiasm. "Ain't nothin' better than slaying some Anarcho-Communists, Amirite son?"
Guy Fieri took a bite out of his sandwich again, seeing that Captain Underpants had arrived with his blood-soaked cape and his bruised knuckles, indictive of the raw fuckrage that he had unleashed on the Skibidi Toilets.
"Ain't that the truth!" Captain Underpants replied with a grin, his eyes gleaming with pride at his recent battle... his not-so statuesque chest betraying his image as the All-American Superhero, "Nothing gets the blood pumping like taking down those porcelain bastards! I've already got experience fighting Toilets after all, but nothing as wicked as that!"
Guy Fieri nodded in agreement, his mouth full of sandwich. "You said it, brother! We're in this together, fighting the good fight against the forces of Anarcho-Communism and all their bullshit."
RECOMMENDED LISTENING: AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
The heads and mouths of the presidents of Mount Rushmore began to split open as the flying magic school bus of Ms. Frizzle, the flaming Hummer of Cody Rhodes, the flying Camaro of Guy Fieri and the floating pink bubble of Chika Fujiwara emerge from Mount Rushmore and began flying in different directions to meet their factions which they would assist or observe until they were needed.
With a burst of raw fucking energy, the vehicles shot forth from Mount Rushmore, each heading in a different direction across the vast expanse of the United States of America, spreading across the once powerful nation which had been left in ruins from the forces of the Skibidi Toilets. The school bus soared gracefully into the sky, its colorful exterior shimmering in the sunlight as it embarked on its journey, wings sprouting out from its sides as it had been piloted by an insane and unhinged schoolteacher turned follower of Sam Darnold.
Cody Rhodes's Hummer roared with power and fuckrage, leaving a trail of flames in its wake as it sped across the landscape in its wicked flight through the skies, soaring like the Apollo 11 mission which had cemented America's status years ago as the premier superpower in the world.
Guy Fieri's Camaro tore through the air, its engine growling with excitement as it raced towards its destination, flames coming out of its exhaust as Guy Fieri proceeded to perform a bunch of donuts in the air with his Camaro, the machine guns on the side began raining down a torrential rainstorm of bullets upon Anarcho-Communists and all other forms of unspeakable evils and bullshit.
Chika Fujiwara's pink bubble floated serenely through the scene as the fucking idiot went to sleep in her bubble which floated to the city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with its magical powers of bullshit.
As the vehicles disappeared into the horizon, their occupants prepared themselves for the challenges ahead except for the sleeping Chika Fujiwara, each team member knew their role in the mission to defend America and they were determined to fulfill it with unwavering resolve and American Fuckrage.
Staying at the base in Mount Rushmore was Sam Darnold, John Cena, Clownpiece and Captain Underpants who had stayed back so they could observe the unspeakable fuckery which was plaguing America.
"Yeah, America Fuck Yeah!"
Clownpiece yelled at the top of her lungs, stroking her staff with sexual titillation which consumed her body and sent her into an ecstasy.
With Guy Fieri, Ms. Frizzle, Chika Fujiwara and Cody Rhodes all on their ways to assist the American factions which were helping wipe clean the world of the Skibidi Toilets, Sam Darnold led his American Patriots to a stash of all sorts of obscene weapons such as scrotum guns, flaming dildos, American-colored knives and groinsaws.
They would need these weapons to assist in whatever raw unadulterated bullshit which would stand before them as evil was omnipresent and armed to the teeth with bullshit and all other forms of unspeakable bullshit.
America, Fuck Yeah!
