Maybe it's because I'm between jobs at the moment… Maybe it's just a random itch to write something… or maybe it's a plot bunny that's been ever present in my mind the last few months. Who knows… I don't even know if anyone who once read my writing still reads, but here we go.
This one came to me 1. after reading "The It Girl" by Ruth Ware and 2. after binging Taylor Swifts TTPD. I have a feeling every chapter is going to start with a lyric from one of her songs from any era… Anyway, I hope you join me on this ride. Updates will likely be weekly.
Chapter One - After
I swear you could hear a hair pin drop
Right when I felt the moment stop
Glass shattered on the white cloth
Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there
Dust collected on my pinned-up hair
They expected me to find somewhere
Some perspective, but I saw and stared right where…
Right Where You Left Me
"The new John Davis is unpacked on a rack in the stockroom," Bella spoke as she pushed a flyaway hair behind her ear. "The table is clear; we just need to put them out after we close the shop up."
Sophie nodded, and had they not been working together for nearly a decade, Bella would have been certain that she had been ignored. But, while Sophie wasn't her favourite person in the world, she was nothing if not thorough. Sue had been right to turn over the shop's management duties to the two of them knowing how well they balanced each other out. Sophie managed the children and young adult stock, and with her associates degree in marketing, helped keep the shop's social media accounts engaging. She was also a pretty skilled party planner and after convincing Sue that the store would see a bump in profits with consistent events, took on those responsibilities as well.
A wallflower since birth, Bella focused her time on adult fiction and the carefully curated non-fiction section, while also keeping the books balanced and placing any necessary stock orders. She also found herself managing the HR duties, though with only three employees outside her and Sophie, it was a pretty easy task.
"Have you and Edward learned the sex of the baby yet? Or are you still thinking about letting it be a surprise?" Sophie questioned once Bella came to stand with her behind the tills.
"No, we have a check up next week and will have to decide by then. I think he's pretty keen to know, but he's a saint and is willing to let me make the decision."
"One thing's for certain, it's definitely going to be one gorgeous baby."
Bella politely laughed. She knew Edward had his admirers. He always had and there were moments where she still couldn't quite believe that she was his wife, that he had picked her, and even came after her after once he graduated from Harvard. Things had been so messy when she disappeared, quietly leaving the tight knit group of friends that had endured more trauma than anyone should have at the age of nineteen. She had done everything she could to scrub her whereabouts from the public, not wanting to be contacted or found. Technology however didn't really make things easy on her. She could change her hair colour, her hair cut, even swap out her contacts for glasses, but someone always found her.
The only time she didn't mind being discovered though was that humid June afternoon when Edward walked through the shop doors. While she hadn't seen him in nearly five years at that point, he hadn't changed much. His copper hair was drenched from the summer thunderstorm, a few strands stuck to his forehead. His frame had changed a little, no longer quite as lean as he had been during his crew days: his arms filled out, chest a little broader. To her surprise, the moment their eyes met, she dropped the heavy Taschen books that she was busy stocking, causing her to yelp when they landed painfully on her foot. He feigned surprise at seeing her, but after a painfully awkward hug, he told her the truth: he didn't care what anyone thought, he didn't care that she had run away, abandoning the family they had created at Harvard, he had hoped, prayed even, that she would be unattached and that she still felt an ounce of what she had once felt for him, that enough time had passed and he wanted what he always wanted, what he always thought he could never have, her. Five years of carefully constructed walls that she built around herself crumbled at his confession.
Her reverie was interrupted with the gentle vibration of her phone in her pocket. Bella motioned to Sophie that she was going to take the call in the back and then quickly made her way to the office, shutting the door behind her as she saw her mother's name lighting up the screen.
"Bella?" Renee's voice came through, "Are you still at work? Today wasn't your day off was it?"
Renee always seemed to confuse Bella's work days. Given that it was a small store, Sophie and her had agreed that in order to keep things running smoothly, Bella would be off on Sunday and Wednesday while Sophie would take Saturday and Tuesday. It worked well for them, and if something pressing came up they would address it together. With the baby on the way it might change things a bit, but for now, Bella loved having her Wednesdays free, and while Edward stayed home to recharge after a stressful week of work on Saturday, they both looked forward to their shared lazy Sundays.
"I'm at work mom. I'm not off until Wednesday" Bella reminded her. "And just a reminder, it's not this week but next week that I have the appointment with the OBGYN if that's what you were calling about."
"No no.. of course I remember that. I just…" Renee paused, almost immediately putting Bella on alert.
"What's wrong? Is Phil okay?"
"Oh he's fine, baby," she hedged. "Have you heard from anyone?"
"It's been a bit hectic with the Davis release tomorrow." Bella glanced up at the clock seeing that it was well past three pm and she had yet to even take a break for lunch. "I haven't even had a moment to sit down and eat anything, let alone check my phone. You have stellar timing though, the shop quieted down and I finally seem to have gotten ahead of the workload before tomorrow."
"Bell… You need to take care of yourself, Edward would have a coronary if he knew you weren't eating now that you can finally keep things down."
"It's okay mom, honestly. Baby hasn't even complained," she laughed, placing her hands on her small, hard bump. As if realising they finally had their mother's attention, Bella's stomach let out an embarrassingly loud rumble. "Okay, maybe I spoke too soon there. I'll have a bite when we finish talking. Is everything okay? Are you okay? It's not… you're not sick again?"
"No!" Renee breathed, a short humourless laugh echoing through the line. "No it's not that at all, I just… I take it you haven't seen the news?"
"Obviously, why what's going on?"
"It's Jason Jenks."
The nausea that had been getting better the last few days reared its ugly head with just the mention of the name. Bella felt her hand tremble as she touched her lips, willing the contents of her stomach to stay down. She closed her eyes, sucking in the air that now felt hot as she tried to steady her body with the deep breaths her therapist had instructed her to do when the thoughts of her mind became too loud.
"I'm so sorry baby," her mother says amongst the silence. "I just didn't want you ambushed while you were at work… It's been popping up on my news alerts for the last thirty minutes and I was worried someone from the Post or some curious Harvard alum would try to reach out. I just figured it would be better coming from me, or maybe Edward, but it sounds like he might be unaware as well."
"Have what come from you?"
"Bella… He's dead."
"I." She started, the nausea dissipating almost as quickly as it came. "How?"
"They said it was a heart attack on the prison grounds."
"Oh." Bella reached for the chair next to her, sitting down. A hollowness she hasn't felt in almost a year washes over her and she places a hand on her stomach seeking comfort from what she and Edward had created together. "Oh…"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know baby, it's a milestone I guess. Maybe it will help you move on for good."
She can't help but wonder why today of all days, just moments after recalling the day Edward showed up in her tiny shop in a city she never expected anyone to find her in, that the news had to come. Was it a milestone? Could something that she had been running from for over twelve years really just disappear like that? Not knowing what else to say, Bella knocked on the table.
"Mom, I'm sorry, I… I need to go."
"Bella."
"Sophie just came in and said we were getting a rush. I'm fine." Bella hangs up, not waiting to hear what her mother might say. Her heartbeat thumps loudly in the quiet office, in the even quieter shop. And as she unlocks her phone she's met with the alerts confirming her mother's words that Jason Jenks is, in fact, dead. And as if he knows she needs him, an incoming text from her husband soothes the pending anxiety attack.
Baby, I love you.
