Kakashi ended up drifting off into a doze around the witching hour, but Sakura didn't sleep a wink. At first, the pink-haired kunoichi lay next to her sensei, the scent of their sex still lingering in the room around them as he snored lightly. But then her chest had started feeling tight and her throat was constricting and her legs were itching to just move. So she'd gotten up and paced the apartment back and forth until she was sure she'd left a permanent mark on the worn bamboo planks with her feet. But the feelings of dread hadn't gone away, and every tick of the clock in the kitchen told her it was one second closer to five AM.
One second closer to the start of her father's mission.
Her stomach had lurched at the thought and though Sakura had spent the entirety of the day before with her parents soaking up their love and reassuring her father how proud she was, and how much she loved him and that she was sure he'd make it home safely in a week's time; she still needed to see him again. She needed to feel his arms around her again, his head on top of hers as he told her everything was going to be fine.
And so Sakura had stepped onto the balcony at 4:30 AM and leaped off the railing, bounding towards the village's gates, where she'd found a dozing Izumo and Kotetsu, who had been playing a game of solitaire. They hadn't spoken a word, but the bandaged shinobi knew why she was there.
She had seen him before he had a chance to notice her pink hair, turned a faded shade of rose under the crescent moon that peeked out from behind a billowing grey cloud. He looked older than she remembered him being even just a month ago, the lines worn heavily into his face and his eyes grim as he carried his bindle over his shoulder.
When Kizashi saw his daughter standing there, he hadn't said a word. He had taken his free arm and held it to the head she leaned against his chest, holding her tightly. She hadn't even taken note of the fact that he had walked alone; that he was here at the gates alone - that the Hokage had seemingly sent him on this mission alone until after he had told her goodbye and that he should see her in seven days. Her heart had cracked a little at the way he said should and she'd stood there and watched him disappear into the forest and then stood just a little longer before turning to head back to Kakashi's apartment.
The older man was already awake by the time she stepped inside, leaning her back against the door as her legs finally gave out underneath of her. He moved with speed imperceptible to her blurry vision as he caught her before she could fall, his arms holding her steady against his chest as she broke down.
She cried about how it wasn't fair; that her father had already given his health to the village. Kakashi took it when her sorrow turned to rage, her hands angry fists colliding with his bare chest. And when the anger subsided back into sadness, the grey-haired man ran his hands gently up and down her back, her head now resting on his shoulder and staining it with her tears.
"She sent him all alone, Kakashi-sensei," she finally whispered in a broken voice once she was no longer hyperventilating, her heartbeat in sync with his own as he held her. He sighed, pulling the kunoichi back so that she could see his face.
"I sent Pakkun to shadow him, Sakura. He isn't alone."
Her green eyes met his cool grey ones as though she was trying to discern whether or not he was just trying to make her feel better. When she saw no tell-tale signs, Sakura smiled softly. Pakkun may be small, but she knew he was capable of immense damage to an enemy shinobi. Her father would be fine, she told herself.
"Does Lady Tsunade know?"
Kakashi shrugged, turning to head towards the kitchen to pour a mug of the coffee he'd been preparing when she'd walked in. He took a long sip of the bitter liquid, smiling as the pink-haired ninja wrinkled her nose as she watched him.
"I don't know how you can drink that stuff without at least a little sugar, Sensei."
He replied by downing the rest of the coffee in two gulps before setting the mug down in the sink. He stretched his arms above his head before turning to look out the window. The baker across the street was just opening her shop, though he knew she'd been there since at least three baking today's goods. He could hear the muffled voice of his neighbor telling her son that he was going to be late to class through the wall, followed by a loud cry from the younger child.
"What are your plans for the day?" Sakura spoke again, this time from a different part of the apartment. The bedroom, he realized as he heard her stripping the linens from the tatami. He dragged himself away from the window and turned to walk the short distance to the bedroom door frame so that he could watch her as she moved. As though she realized what he was doing, Sakura turned red and threw a pillow at him, which he caught in his hand with ease.
"I was gonna go see Gai. It's been about a week, and he's challenged me again."
Sakura's eyebrow arched up as she balled up the sheets, tossing them into the basket that was now sitting in the middle of the room. "Oh?" She asked, turning away as she headed to the bathroom in search of more laundry. She listened as Kakashi told her about Gai's newest challenge - this one something to do with the amount of push-ups each of them could do before sunset - before she turned to carry the towels and washcloths to the basket.
"It sounds fun," Sakura admitted. "So you'll be gone most of the day, then?"
Kakashi nodded, and she stood there for a moment before leaning up to press her lips against the corner of his mouth. He moved a hand to her chin, tilting her head so that he could fully kiss her. She felt a strange flutter in her rib cage that reminded her of her childhood infatuation with Sasuke. But this felt more intense; more like an electric current rippling through her heart rather than butterflies. Kakashi smiled into the kiss, pecking her several times before pulling away.
"I'll see you tonight then."
Sakura didn't have time to say anything as he hopped up into the bedroom window, turning to give her a cheeky grin before tugging the mask up over his face and disappearing in a flash. She smiled in spite of herself and leaned down to grab the laundry basket, heading towards the front door.
Even though the laundromat was closer to Kakashi's apartment, Sakura walked the longer distance towards her childhood home. Her mother had already opened the shop by the time she arrived, setting the basket down outside the door before walking in to greet the older woman, who was helping a customer at the cash register. Once she'd accepted the payment for a few boxes of tea and bid farewell to the customer, Mebuki turned to her daughter with a soft smile, seeing the tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes that only a mother would take the time to notice.
"You've been crying too, hmm?"
Sakura nodded, walking around a display, looking at the new merchandise. She lifted a pretty green box with a gold Sand symbol engraved into the top. She opened the box, sniffing in the rich aroma. It had a pleasant spicy smell mixed with a hint of something sweet, and she was sure it would taste delicious.
"Take a box, musume," her mother nodded. Sakura smiled at her mother, shutting the box and tucking it into her pouch.
"I saw him off at the gate this morning," Sakura told her mother quietly. She didn't add that she'd seen him off alone; that he wasn't with a team. Considering the Hokage wasn't aware of Pakkun's deployment by Kakashi, Sakura didn't tell her mother that, either. She frowned, looking down at the floor. There was a lot she wasn't telling her mother these days.
"You look tired, Sakura. Are you sleeping any more than you were..." Her mother trailed off, also looking towards the ground now. The older woman knew Sakura didn't know it yet, but her mother's heart could feel that her only child's time under the safety of her roof was finite - that Sakura was no longer the child she'd been for so long, but a grown woman now. And grown women didn't stay at home with their mothers tending shop and mending clothes all day. They moved out; they moved in with handsome men and started the adventure known as young adulthood.
"I am," the pink-haired woman answered honestly, not adding that the nightmares still persisted if she slept more than half the night. At least it's improvement, Sakura thought to herself. "Kakashi-sensei and I sleep in shifts now so that he can sleep, too."
Mebuki nodded, but didn't speak. Sakura wondered what she was thinking of. Mebuki's brow was furrowed, deep in thought as she watched a stray piece of grass glide across the stone floor. Finally, the older woman lifted her eyes, the shadow gone from her face and a smile present on her lips.
"I saw you brought laundry with you. I'll close the shop awhile and help you with it."
Sakura nodded, waiting for her mother to gather the satchel she brought with her to the shop every morning before the two women made their way out of the shop and turned the corner. Instead of going upstairs, Mebuki led the way to the small strip of grass behind the building that the family was able to call a backyard. It was fenced on the two street sides, but left open to the babbling stream that coursed through Konoha's center. On the other side of the stream was a thick patch of trees, left undeveloped for reasons unknown to Sakura. As a child, she had often enjoyed sitting back here with Ino, watching as her talented friend used her inherited Mind Transfer Jutsu on whichever woodland creature passed by, making it do silly things to elicit laughter from the shy Haruno girl.
Her mother grabbed a thick bar of soap and a washboard from the storage space under the stairs and they walked over to the side of the water, both kneeling down. Mebuki went to grab the board but the pink-haired woman stopped her, placing her hand over her mother's.
"Let me do the scrubbing, chichi-san. You can rinse them."
Sakura knew there were easier, faster ways to do laundry. The laundromat had electric washers and dryers. Most shinobi and kunoichi preferred the modern way as it was more convenient for their hectic and unpredictable life. But Sakura had always preferred the traditional method, despite how hard it was on the hands. She liked the satisfying way she could watch the dirt and stains lift from the fabric. It was cathartic and peaceful and it reminded her of simpler times before Sasuke had defected and before her heart had been broken the moment his fist had collided with her head and she'd woken to realize she needed to tell the Hokage what he'd done.
She washed each garment carefully and her mind got lost in the labor of it; her hands setting each garment over the ribs of the board before scrubbing the bar of soap over it, making sure each side was completely clean and smelled fresh before handing it off to her mother, who would gently rinse them in the water upstream from Sakura's position.
"This one is torn."
Mebuki's voice pulled Sakura out of her semi-daze and she blinked as she looked over at her mother, arching her eyebrow. The older woman was holding one of Kakashi's uniforms, displaying a torn sleeve. Sakura knew he hadn't been on any missions and she shrugged, going back to scrubbing.
"Kakashi-sensei probably ripped it in training," she explained to her mother, who set it aside so that it could be mended. Sakura took her time finishing the rest of the clothes, helping her mother rinse the last few uniforms and all of Kakashi's boxers before they hung the load on a thin rope her father had tied between trees. Sakura knew it would take several hours for the clothes to dry and so she followed her mother back around the house and up the stairs into their home.
"I'm going to prepare us some lunch," Mebuki told Sakura. "Miso soup?"
A grin tore at Sakura's lips, and she nodded eagerly. A sad light shined in the older woman's eyes for a moment; for just a brief flash of a second, Sakura had been her little girl again, tugging at her skirts and asking her for a second bowl of her favorite soup.
While her mother was preparing their meal, Sakura made her way to her bedroom, stopping at the door and looking around for a few moments. The walls were painted a happy pink shade, with soft lace curtains hanging over the window on the far wall. She had an array of photos spread throughout the room - photos of her and Ino mostly, with some of Team 7 and her parents. There was one split photo frame showing both sets of grandparents, neither of whom she had gotten the chance to know. Her mother's cat slept soundly at the end of her bed, orange fur set afire by the sun's rays filtering in through the lace.
This was a child's bedroom, she realized as she looked towards her bookshelf. She almost couldn't recognize the teen titles and stacks of wedding magazines she and Ino used to pour over. Though it had only been a little over two months, Sakura was a vastly different person now. Instead of reading sappy romance sagas and planning a wedding that would never happen, Sakura now read books on medicinal plants and survival guides for hostile territory. Instead of sitting in her backyard laughing at Ino's antics, she spent the majority of her free time training, honing her skills so that she wouldn't have to be the weak link ever again.
Because that's what she felt like. She had been the one to let Sasuke leave. It didn't matter that he'd knocked her unconscious, because she knew if it had been Naruto or almost any of the other Rookie 9, that wouldn't have happened. A fight would have happened, which would have alerted someone and who would have stopped him.
But it had been Sakura.
And Sakura had been weak.
The pink-haired kunoichi felt her hands tighten into fists at her side as she stepped into the room, closing the door behind herself. She wasn't weak anymore, she told herself as she grabbed the magazines and books tossing them into the waste bin by her desk before heading over to her closet.
She rummaged for a few minutes through the piles of clothing and some old boxes of accessories and mementos before finding what she was looking for. It was at the back of her closet, hanging on a nail she'd put there one day when her parents had both been out of the house. She hadn't wanted them knowing about it, because they would have asked what she needed a nail for when she had a whole rod to hang her clothes on and then she would have had to explain the dress.
When she'd first bought it, Sakura hadn't really known why she wanted to buy it. She'd been fifteen and hanging out with Ino in a dress shop the blonde insisted had the best clothes in town when she'd seen it there on the rack, hung in between a sleek black dress and a red kimono with yellow flowers.
It was a fishnet dress, with only thin spaghetti straps to hold it up at the top and if worn, it would end at the top of her thighs now. There was a band of solid fabric, also black, that would just barely cover her nipples. Sakura had never been brave enough to try it on; it had taken every bit of her courage just to buy the thing from the shop attendant who had just grinned at her as though she was about to have the night of her life.
She hadn't then but maybe she could sometime soon, she thought to herself with a lick of her lips. She tucked the netted fabric into her pouch before turning her closet light off and exiting the room, grabbing the trash sack full of wedding magazines and romance novels to throw away. They weren't part of the woman she was becoming; the woman she wanted to be, and they had no place in her life anymore.
By the time Sakura left the flat, it was nearing seven o'clock and she wondered if it was Kakashi or Gai that had won his daylong challenge. He wasn't back when she arrived so she set about preparing dinner. She wasn't very hungry, but knew that Kakashi likely would be after a day of push ups. She pulled some tuna out of the fridge to prepare some sushi rolls and set the pot on for the rice. She had just plated all of the food and carried it to the table for him when the door opened to reveal a panting, sweaty Kakashi, his eyes deadpan as he wobbled in and shut the door behind himself.
"I take it you lost?" She giggled as he tugged the sandals off, not even caring about her scowl when he tossed them haphazardly to the corner. He pulled a hand to his chest, a wounded look in his eyes as he sat at the table, tugging the mask down.
"You wound me, Sakura," he told her through a mouthful of rice that he'd already stuffed into his mouth. He added half a bite of a tuna roll before adding in a muffled voice. "Of course I won."
Sakura giggled, sitting across from him. He arched an eyebrow at her empty place setting, swallowing his food. Before he could ask, the pink-haired woman answered his unasked question.
"I ate lunch with chichi-san and ate a bowl of ramen at Ichiraku's before coming back here."
Kakashi nodded, stuffing the rest of the tuna roll into his mouth along with some rice. She watched him eat, happy that he seemed satisfied. She'd never really cooked for someone before on a regular basis and it felt nice to know his stomach would be full tonight not because of some cheap takeout or too-old leftovers, but because of her. She wondered if he had felt this way when he'd cooked her breakfast yesterday morning and had just started letting her mind wander when Kakashi's voice snapped her back to the present.
"I was thinking maybe we could go to the festival tonight, if you're not too tired."
Sakura was confused for a moment before she realized that today was the start of Konoha's annual Festival of Lights. A nostalgic smile took over her face as childhood memories of visiting the festival with her parents rushed to her mind; the way the crowded streets had smelled of all sorts of delicious treats, colored banners and flags hanging above the night stalls to identify who sold what. Every night of the festival always ended in a parade of floats down the main street of the entertainment district. She didn't know if she'd ever managed to stay awake to that point before her father would pick her up and let his sleepy child rest on his shoulder while he and Mebuki would finish out the night with a rare display of public affection coming in the form of holding hands.
A sadness now tinged Sakura's smile, and Kakashi just shrugged casually, trying to keep the mood light. "It's all month, Sakura. There's no rush."
Sakura nodded, resting her chin on her folded hands as she closed her eyes in thought. Neither of the two of them spoke another word as Kakashi carried his dishes to the sink, washing them along with his morning mug before he headed into the bedroom to catch a few hours of sleep, knowing that it wouldn't likely come for the pink-haired woman any time soon.
