DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Please find the full disclaimers in the beginning of Chapter 1.
Chapter 8
Maura entered home quietly. It was late afternoon, and dark already, but there was not one light on in her house. Maura poked her head around the door on the guest bedroom, and saw Jane asleep leaning against the pillows on the bed, a book abandoned by her side.
Jane had to spend an entire week in the hospital before being released to convalesce at home. But her release was conditional to an eight-weeks medical leave with confirmed support, until her rib fractures and jaw fractures were fully consolidated and until she could feed herself anything beyond a liquid diet again.
"You will stay with me, if I am to sign that you will have support for the eight weeks of your leave." Maura had been adamant.
"I can do things… on my own… Just slowly…" Jane tried to argue. Speaking was still a challenge given the pain on her broken facial bones.
"I am not negotiating, Jane."
"Fine… But you won't take… a leave of absence… You go to work… and if I need… anything… I call you…"
"I can live with that." Maura conceded.
This had been three weeks ago.
Maura knew Jane was in a deep depression. Jane barely spoke. Jane barely ate. She went through the daily motion mechanically. She would spend her day reading. A breathing therapist would come once a day to ensure her lung capacity was not affected by the lung damage and by her prolonged recover from the cracked and fractured ribs. But except for that, Jane read most of the day, paced aimlessly around the house, and slept.
Maura went upstairs to change, and stopped by the kitchen.
Untouched. Everything was untouched. What meant Jane, once more, had not eaten the entire day.
She was on a liquid diet, but every day Maura left ready things that she thought would interest Jane. Juices. Fruit smoothies. Yogurt. Every day she came from work to find everything untouched. And then she had to struggle to get Jane to consume at least one of those things under Maura's close supervision.
Needless to say, Jane had already lost close to ten pounds. Not that she had any pounds to shed to begin with.
Maura walked quietly to the bedroom, and sat by the bed, picking up the book Jane had been reading.
"Maura…" Jane tried to offer her a greeting.
"Hey… How are you feeling today? How does your wrist feel now that the cast was removed?"
"Fine… You?"
"Very long and heavy workday. But now I am home… And I see you didn't eat anything…"
"Not hungry…"
"Wrong answer… You know not eating is not an option, Jane. You need to keep up your strength. It is bad enough that you can only drink liquids…"
"I'm fine, Maura… Don't worry."
"As if it was possible. Come on…" Maura stood up, and offered her hands to support Jane for her to stand, what she did with a groan, and without letting go of Jane's hand, Maura walked to the kitchen, dragging Jane behind her.
"If you take your smoothie, I can consider a milkshake as your dessert." Maura tried to bribe Jane. Even the empty calories of the milkshake would be better than nothing.
"If the smoothie… is ready… that alone… will be fine…" Jane replied without enthusiasm, picking up the bottle from the fridge, and sipping through the straw.
Maura was appeased, at least temporarily, and proceeded to prepare a salad for her dinner, pouring a glass of juice she had prepared for Jane earlier in the day, but that Jane had not consumed.
She watched Jane sipping from the straw two or three times, but even after she finished her salad and her juice, she picked Jane's bottle, and it was still more than half full.
"Jane, you will need to do better than that…"
"I'm not hungry, Maura." Jane deviated her eyes.
"At least this full bottle, Jane. You know you were supposed to have taken the bottle of juice, the bottle of smoothie, and the bottle of yogurt. I will be content if you consume at least one of them, but fully. Please?" Maura pushed the half-drunk bottle in front of Jane, who sipped again without enthusiasm.
Maura took care of the dishes, keeping an eye on Jane, and saw her sipping another two or three times.
"I am done, thank you." Jane stood up, placing the bottle by the sink.
Maura shook it, realizing there was still at least a quarter of its contents on. But she knew that was as much as Jane would concede for tonight. It was better than other nights when she didn't drink even that much.
After washing it, Maura followed Jane. She was reading in bed.
"Jane…"
Jane put the book down, and raised her eyes to Maura.
"I think you need to talk to someone. Melanie, maybe. Or Dr. Kaplan. Or we can find someone else for you to talk to."
"If I was to… talk to anyone… I would talk… to you…"
"But you are not talking even to me…"
It was true. Maura had tried everything. In the hospital. At home since Jane came from the hospital. She would not get more than five entire sentences a day.
"It hurts… to talk…"
"What hurts, Jane? Your jaw? Your heart?" Maura provoked.
Jane's eyes welled in tears.
"What about… both?..." she deviated her eyes from Maura's.
"Jane…"
"Listen… There is nothing… to talk about… Ma is gone… End of story…" Jane tried, her voice broken.
"But it is not the end of the story, is it, Jane?" Maura insisted. "At least I don't think that was the reason why you removed your chest drain and all IV medication in cold blood…"
Maura knew she was challenging Jane. But she needed to get her out of that apathy. Trying to brush the pain underneath the rug would not make Jane move.
Jane turned impossibly pale as she snapped her head back to Maura, squinting her eyes.
"What…?"
"I was there, Jane. I saw you flatline in front of my eyes. I cracked some more of your ribs as I tried to resuscitate you…" Maura spoke with passion, fire in her eyes, hurt in her voice.
"Did I… flatline?"
"Not only that… The doctors were ready to pronounce you, Jane… You were out for so long…" Maura could not hold back her own tears.
"I saw Ma… that night…" Jane offered, quietly.
"What?"
"I saw her… I tried… to reach out to her… to touch her… But she kept… shaking her head no…" Jane explained, hurt.
"You might have had a near death experience..." Maura added quietly.
"She didn't want me… She kept pushing me away…"
"And you think this is because she blames you? Or because she does not love you? Jane, if anything, it was likely because it was not yet your time!"
"What?... No google mouth… explanation… about… near death… being just a trick… of my brain?"
Maura tried to offer her a small smile. "No… I saw you die before my eyes, Jane. I punched you… harder than I ever punched anyone…"
"Maybe you should… have let me go…" Jane shook her head, sighing.
"Never, Jane. Do you hear me? Never. I am never letting you go."
