DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

Please find the full disclaimers in the beginning of Chapter 1.


Chapter 13

Maura moved to lean against Jane again, calmer now. Her nightmare had unsettled her in so many ways that it was hard to put into words. The warmth and solidity of Jane's body beneath hers was helpful to ground her.

But Jane knew. Jane always knew.

"I figure it will be a while until you can trust I will not do something stupid…" Jane sighed.

Maura thought for a moment, and as much as she wanted to contradict Jane, she knew Jane was right.

"It will." Maura agreed, matter of fatedly. "But I will not make the same mistake of letting you lose in the meanwhile."

"There was nothing you could have done differently, Maura. I barely existed in these past few months." Jane admitted, swallowing hard. "All I could think of was the most effective way to disappear from life as discreetly as possible."

"Jane… do you understand now it was not your fault? Yes, you incentivized her. So did I. But it was not her going on the road trip that got her and Ron killed."

"In a rational level, yes, I understand that. But Maura… What if she had never gone in the road trip, just stayed home, working? Or taken a flight?" Jane puffed frustrated.

"That is why I hate what-if's, Jane. Because they are just that, figments of imagination. They cannot be compared to the reality, especially because we can imagine scenarios as idyllic as we can, and then compare them to the harsh reality is really setting up for failure…"

"Yeah…"

"The Italians believe in Fate… And if Fate is true, it means that one way or another something would have happened to seal her Fate. That is the other what-if that you are ignoring. As are thousands of other scenarios."

Jane just nodded, sighing.

"Jane… think of all the pictures she was sharing with us… how excited she was… she was enjoying herself and having a great time… And that was only possible because you incentivized her. Because I did it too…"

Jane's sigh was almost painful.

"Listen… There is a movie we need to watch. Together. It is not an easy movie. But I can't think of one more adequate for us to watch in this moment."

"Okay…" Jane extended her long arm, and picked the remote controls to hand them to Maura.

"What? No question if it has subtitles, or if it is a French black and white movie?" Maura teased, gently.

"Even if it was, I owe you that much to watch it... And I trust that even if it was, you have been thinking about how to help me way more than I have been thinking about helping myself…" Jane admitted. "Thank you…"

Maura pecked Jane's lips gently, before searching for "What Dreams May Come" in Jane's account, and set it for them to watch.

As Maura anticipated, Jane was bawling, and Maura had to pause the movie multiple times. Maura couldn't say she was immune to the movie, because even though she didn't believe in Heaven and Hell, the imagery of the movie was very compelling. Maura held Jane as she sobbed. But Maura refused to stop. As soon as Jane calmed down, Maura pushed forward, making Jane go through the very end of it.

Saying that Jane was a mess after watching the movie was clearly an understatement. But based on the points where Maura had to pause, Maura knew her mission had likely been accomplished. If the dream of Angela had not been enough to put a stop once and for all on Jane's suicidal ideas, she hoped this movie did.

Maura turned off all controls, before directing her full attention back to Jane, who was still sniffling, her eyes wide and haunted.

"You cannot possibly continue to annihilate your life for a what-if, Jane. You can't. It is not healthy for you. It is not healthy for any of us around you. And honestly… I don't think it is what your mom would want from you… If there is an afterlife, my bet is that Angela is there very frustrated because she can't beat some sense into the stubborn head of her oldest daughter."

Jane gave Maura a small smile.

"She probably is…"

Both their phones dang almost at the same time, making them jump. It was Frankie. A picture of TJ holding different gifts in Jane's and Maura's screen, wishing them Merry Christmas, and thanking them for their gifts.

"I didn't send any gifts to TJ… Or to anyone, for that matter…" Jane furrowed her brows.

Maura tilted her head with a guilty smile. "I bought some I thought would be things you would have chosen for him, and wrapped them as if they were yours…"

Jane smiled gently, and looked again at the picture.

"I approve. The firefighter's car looks fabulous… Thank you, Maura…"

"You are welcome…"

"Let me see what you gave him in your name…" Jane asked curious, and again Maura was happy for seeing a glimpse of the old Jane showing up.

Maura handed Jane her phone, and Jane rolled her eyes after a quick glance at the screen, chuckling: "A little chemistry set? That is so you!... Wait… Isn't that dangerous for a six-year-old?"

"No, unless he drinks the ingredients, and he is already past that age."

Jane sighed. "I wish he could be with his father…"

Maura knew that was the other debate she would need to get out of the way with Jane.

"Do you know why their lawyer agreed with a deal for a five-year sentence, Jane?"

"Not to go through a long trial?"

"No… It was after they watched the video from the funeral home. He knew that video was a guilty sentence, and the minimum a jury would give them was ten years, most likely fifteen to Tommy who was far from a first-time offender."

"I wanted to completely drop the charges…"

"Jane… If they did what they did to someone they know and love… Imagine what they could have done to a stranger…"

"But they were just out of their minds… in the heat of their grief they needed to find a scape goat… and I was right in front of them…"

"In the heat of grief, in the heat of anger, in the heat of whatever, Jane. It does not give anyone the right to go at a scape goat like they did, no matter how right in front of them that scape goat is. They could have killed you…"

"You don't know that, it is another what-if."

"No, it is not. I did watch the funeral home video, Jane." And Maura shuddered, involuntarily, closing her eyes for a moment. Seeing Jane being punched and kicked without one move to protect herself. Hearing the snapping sounds of cracking bones and the muffled sound of fists and shoes against soft flesh. Watching as Jane's body went limp, and the fists and feet of her father and brother continued to hit her mercilessly. "If Nina and Frankie had not stopped them when they did, another minute of that would have meant permanent brain damage or death."

"They both have a temper…"

"You do have a temper… But love is not supposed to hurt, Jane. Theirs do. Yours doesn't. Five years was a light sentence, and if they behave you know they will be released in three."

"It is still a long time for TJ to be away from his father."

"It is much shorter than the fifteen he deserved. And Frankie and Nina have been taking such good care of TJ, Jane. Your mom would be very proud. They are very careful to make sure TJ does not hate or is ashamed of his father, despite how hurt Frankie was by what Tommy did to you."

"I wish I had not forced Frankie to take sides..."

"You didn't force him to do anything... He took sides because he is a grown-up man, Jane, perfectly capable of distinguishing between right and wrong. And he knew what was done to you was wrong. He knew you have nothing to feel guilty about. He worships you, Jane. You are his hero…"

"I used to be, Maura, but not after all of this…"

"You are wrong, Jane. You still are his hero, and he misses you dearly… You should see the longing on his eyes when I told him I was flying here to try to see you. I think if you would find it in you to call him later, or even to reply to his Merry Christmas message, it will be the biggest gift you could give him…"

Jane typed a Merry Christmas message to Frankie, Nina and TJ as a response to the photo of TJ with his gifts… That she could do…

Maura saw it, and she would try again after dinner to get Jane to call him. Baby steps, as Angela would say.