Chapter V - Part II
Two things before we get into this part.
One: I CAST IRON! *Bonk*
Two: This is trivia - Do you know what inspired me to start this story, other than Episode 6 of Hazbin? The song: Lucifer - Change the Order. I recommend you keep that in mind for the future.
*** Earth. Mayberry Residence ***
"That was so cool!"
Well, perhaps not cool for most, but Emily didn't care. The movie was so nice! And after recent events she needed something like that.
A nice dinner that had emptied Jack's fridge, a few sweet treats and some time inspecting the room she had been offered, Emily had been called to see a movie with Jack and Sarah. At first Sarah had grumbled a bit, though after Jack asked her why Sarah just clamped down.
After seeing the movie Emily could easily tell why.
"Eh, it is fine." Sarah rested against the couch in the laziest position she could. The Sinner woman and her nephew/adopted son were sitting side by side, and her bored face seemed to bother Jack. "I mean, I loved this movie as a kid and all, but…"
"Is it a bit too tame now? I mean, Aladdin isn't exactly the most action packed of the old Disney movies, but it is still very damn good. Better than most modern slop, that is for sure." Jack offered, looking at his mom with concern.
"Hell's TV is either 90% porn or 90% violence and gore. I think it depends on the day and mood the guys in charge of that channel are. And those are what you could call 'child friendly' shows." Emily shuddered the moment Sarah shared those details. Really? Then again, Hell was very open with ALL that was a vice and evil by default. "I mean, perhaps the other Rings aren't like that, and you also have channels that try to sell you shit 24/7 like on Earth. But nice, fantasy, cutesy stuff like these Disney movies? Hah, fat chance."
"Shit, Hell's hardcore in every sense." Jack mushed as he hugged his mom closer, eliciting a sigh of contentment from Sarah. "We'll make sure you never have to go back there, okay?" And that only made Sarah's smile grow wider.
Emily's own face was radiant at that show of affection. She really hoped this would work. At the very least, if she was to claim defeat instead of victory, she hoped she could finagle a way to make things better anyway.
Though that sounded like even more of a pipedream Emily would still dare to hope for the best, even if it was the best of the worst.
"I promised Emily to do my best, and I did so in front of both the Princess and King of Hell. So I better try my best, don't you think?" Sarah offered a sly smirk to Jack, though Emily noticed the very clear doubt. She couldn't fault the woman. This would be tough. "I just hope I can get back here after I get 'redeemed' and shit."
Emily blinked at that, surprise clear. "I mean, I don't know if that would be possible, but with mortals knowing about us…" The young Seraphim hummed to herself. Still, that begged the question. "Wouldn't you want to stay in Heaven?"
"Why?" Sarah sounded just as confused as she looked. Emily understood soon enough that neither Hell nor Heaven called to Sarah the moment she made the obvious even more so "There is no one I know or care for up there. I wish to make amends, perhaps, perhaps, become a better person than I once was. But I have my family here. And since everyone is going to learn about this? I don't see why I couldn't come back to stay with Jack and see him grow further."
Huh, that was a good point. Heaven was a reward for those that managed to attain it. Emily had known of many souls that eventually wanted to go back despite being in paradise, or what Emily thought was paradise anyway.
Perhaps that would be one of the many questions she'd ask Sera whenever Emily got back.
Once everything was done, of course. Emily had a job to do.
"I hadn't thought of it that way." Emily hummed. "Then again, I never knew of anything BUT Heaven. I wasn't tasked with overlooking things on Earth, much less Hell."
Jack and Sarah both looked at Emily with faces she couldn't place. It wasn't until Jack made his point that she just didn't get it.
"Is Heaven really that strict?"
Emily frowned at the question. "Come again?"
"You never looked to Hell, that I can understand." Jack said with a humm and a nod. I mean, after what Sarah had shared with them? Jack understood indeed. "But Earth? You said your job was making people happy. I doubt you could do that with just a little bit of knowledge and nothing else."
Emily shuffled on her seat. "I was taught to avoid touchy stuff like politics, beliefs and other such things. My focus was to make everyone happy and welcome. I was meant to help everyone I met with making new friends, finding what they loved most, the places that had the food they'd like, venues with the right games, hobbies, etc." And she really thought she was doing good. Wasn't she? "I just helped them all get situated so they could enjoy the afterlife. I never really thought I needed to do more than that. Not until I saw how much was kept from me."
Sarah looked deeply sad at the revelation. "I may have gone through a lot, more so in Hell. Some of those things I wish I'd forget." She admitted, not that Emily needed her to say more after what Sarah had told everyone. "But you haven't really lived, have you?"
Emily was about to make a rebuttal, but she thought for a second about that question.
Had she ever lived?
Not really.
Most angels hadn't.
They went to do their daily deeds as instructed, ignoring everything else. The vast majority were happy doing what they were told and never looked away from their 'purpose'. Even Winners were largely engrossed in their new lives and never really deviated.
Heck, Emily could remember some of those from BEFORE written history was recorded by humans, very old souls indeed. They were still doing the same things she had spoken to them about more than two thousand years ago.
Most people in Heaven just went through the motions.
"I… don't think I have." Emily finally found herself admitting. "I have lived so long, but I haven't at the same time. I remember most of what I have done with fondness. But am I really fond of it? Did I really like what I did? Or was I made to be happy that way?"
Emily looked inwards while Sarah and Jack shared another look. A few years in Hell hadn't been enough for Sarah to become a complete bitch, even if she needed to be a dick to a lot of people in hopes of staying safe. And Jack? Jack sure as Hell didn't want Emily to feel bad.
A distraction was needed.
"We can talk about that tomorrow, if you like." He offered with a gentle smile on his face. "I'll need my two best buddies to come over and help me with the preparations. That and… uh… probably explain this." Jack nodded towards his mom, making the woman deadpan his way.
"So I am 'this' now, my dear?" Sarah spoke with that disappointed mom tone only someone that changed your diapers could. Jack could only shiver at the clear warning. "I will keep that in mind."
"Oh, come on mom!" Jack pleaded as if he was about to get the chair. "You know I didn't mean it like that! Just, you know, this isn't exactly normal."
"Like Dom and Lucien are normal!" Sarah fired back with a barely hidden smirk. She did make a pause at the thought. "You do mean Dom and Lucien, right?"
It was Jack's turn to give his mother a flat look. "Do you think I can make friends in normal circumstances? Because it got worse after… you left."
Sarah grimaced. "Yeah. Sorry. My bad, honey."
Emily was curious though. "Who are Dom and Lucien?"
"Dominic Hardman and Lucien Doux, the two weirdos I managed to bond with." Jack said with pride, only to have his mom gently kick him with her hooves. The feeling was similar enough, and the motion obviously familiar enough, that Jack only harrumphed. "What? Like any of us is normal!"
"Maybe!" Sarah pointed a glare Jack's way. "But believe you me. After being down south? That takes on a new meaning."
Emily wedged herself in there before another little argument could start. The two seemed to have a lot of those, even if they were generally benign. "What do you mean?"
Jack and Sarah took a second before Sarah opted to be the one speaking. "Dominic and Lucien both suffer anomalous conditions. In the case of Dominic it is a natural mutation, Lucien just had horrible parents."
When Emily only looked more confused than ever Jack explained further. "Dominic suffers from 'M.R.M.H', or 'Myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy'. Simply put? He can sit on the couch all day, eat like shit, and he'd still grow a muscular body."
Emily's eyes grew. "Wait. There are humans that can grow strong doing nothing?"
"Again, a mutation." Sarah nodded, somewhat going back to her old teacher ways. "There are some of those that basically would grant you a more realistic version of a 'superpower'; like developing a human version of sonar, a sixth sense that warns you of danger and so on. In the case of Dominic? He is a gentle, shy giant of a man that is about Jack's age."
"He is also disgusted by his condition." Jack said with a drawl. "I mean, I understand. He is the kind of person that HATES, and I mean actively loathes, when he gets something he doesn't feel he has earned. He has had a lot of problems with some people, and some of his family members, because they are perfectly happy getting handouts and free shit if they complain or do nothing." The young man groaned. "And he complains because he hates physical activity. Dom is always whining and bemoaning having to go to the gym with me, but he feels it would be cheating if he stays at home and lets his body just pump him up. If he didn't have this condition? He'd be the stereotypical fat geek."
"I… see." Emily put her hands on her lap. What else could she say? She tried to school her face into something neutral because she was unsure of what to say. "And Lucien?"
"Do you have people in Heaven that said their parents didn't want them to be a boy or a girl? That they wanted the opposite?" Sarah tried to be tactful, but she still sounded a bit peeved.
Emily understood. A few people she met had tales like that. Usually it wasn't too sad but… some of the souls that went to Heaven did have a lot of pent up anger carried from their early years thanks to that, so she nodded.
"Well, take that up to eleven and make it illegal." Sarah let out a chuckle that sounded more like she tried to hide a growl. "Lucien's parents were people I knew from my early years, much like Dom's own parents who also are childhood friends with me. However, unlike Dominic's parents, Lucien's own were always… quirky."
"They were a pair of assholes." Jack was much more direct with his anger.
"Okay, so they were and likely are that and then some. Or, well, Lucien's mother was." Sarah agreed, though Emily could hazard a guess and say that Sarah had worse things to say about Lucien's parents. "His mother had always been what you'd call an 'activist', because that is all she did. His dad? Very smart, always, since he was a child, but also a bit touched in the head. When they got together Lucien's mother got his dad to go along with all she said. Considering that woman's distaste for men in general, I think she just got hitched to him because he was easy to control."
"And his money." Jack pointed out. "The guy's family is loaded and they didn't give a shit so long as they got new blood."
"True, yes." Sarah agreed. "Being a professional activist is not cheap unless you get 'sponsors'."
Emily was confused. "There are professional activists?"
"Honey, you'd be surprised." Sarah sounded tired even before she tried to think about the mere idea. A quick shake of her head and she pushed that thought away. "What is important to know about the two is this: They never wanted children, male children anyway. So when this bitch got pregnant with Lucien she was super happy. The only problem? For some reason she didn't care to check on her baby until it was 'too late'. Then she found out it would BE Lucien, not the little girl she wanted to name 'Lucienne'... So she did as any good professional victim does and went crazy."
"Crazy?" Emily gulped. "Did she… do something? She tried to hurt the baby before he was born?"
"Nah, but she wasn't going to 'take it lying down', or so she said. She got her husband to find a few of his friends, spend a few months working a side project in the lab they were at to mix a concoction and then USE it on Lucien." Sarah spoke with the closest thing to pure disgust that she had heard the Sinner profess since she got back to Earth. "She was willing to do it shortly before birth too! Luckily the crazy bitch didn't. Mostly because it took a long time to make and they didn't manage to 'prevent the mistake from happening'."
Emily turned her questioning eyes towards Jack. "Basically Lucien's mother did not want a male child to the point of 'returning it to sender' if it ever happened. But by the time she discovered that Lucien was going to be a boy, she was past the threshold to have an abortion. And going out there and saying 'I want it dead because it is male!' was not going to fly. I mean, there'd be a lot of sympathetic pieces of shit out there that would willingly help her, but legally speaking it would be a social death sentence, among other things."
The young Seraphim made a face. "That sounds utterly disgusting. Who'd say that about their own child? Before they are even born!"
"You'd be surprised, dear. Jack was right when he said some people would've helped that bitch." Sarah dragged those words through the mud before she took a calming breath. "Luckily, she didn't find anyone. And whatever that mix was didn't hurt baby Lucien, much." Emily made note of that 'much'. Sarah sounded like it had an asterisk attached. "Little Lucien did scream after he was injected though, that got the doctor and nurses in there to notice what was going on. They only missed it because no one was expecting either of Lucien's parents to do anything like that! But after they were caught? Straight to jail, and Lucient got adopted by Dom's parents."
"Now, the mix, whatever it was, didn't hurt Lucien." Sarah went on. "But it had an effect." And while she didn't look happy, Emily guessed this 'effect' wasn't the worst. "Though tomorrow you'll see that, in a way, Lucien's parents got their wish."
When Emily looked just as confused as before, Jack decided to come in for the rescue. "Lucien is a man, but he looks like a girl."
"Really?" Emily's eyes widened. She had seen girly looking men in Heaven. It was uncommon, of course, but it did happen.
"Yeah. But it didn't exactly work as whatever those two intended, whatever it was." Jack frowned and thought for a second. "It still messed him up a bit. Lucien didn't grow too tall, in fact he is just shy of five feet in height. He is petite, cute, has super long hair, and ended up liking dresses and girl clothes because male clothes bothered him, but he is still a man. When we were growing up he had to train his voice because he sounded deeper than a truck driver when puberty hit. It also didn't harm him in the dick department beca-OW!"
Sarah had slapped Jack on the back of the head. The woman was looking like a proper demon with how her aura was glowing red.
"The fuck you telling Emily THAT for!?" Sarah chidded with clear anger. "No one should need to know how big Lucien is under his damn skirt!"
"Just making sure, damn it!" Jack defended himself, if lamely. "I don't know if Emily would end up trying to check him over out of curiosity, for fuck's sake. Last thing I need is for her to faint the moment she lifts Lucien's shit and finds he is hiding a nearly ten inch long monster down there!"
Emily just smiled at the direction this had taken. Oh, she wasn't happy, or even paying attention.
Emily had just shut down her brain as Jack and Sarah entered another argument.
She briefly wondered how Sera was doing, and the thought remained for fifteen more minutes before Jack shook her up and asked, with total calm as if nothing had happened, if she wanted to watch a movie called 'Jurassic Park'.
Emily just nodded and opted to make her peace. Tomorrow would be… a day.
*** Heaven. Sera's private domicile ***
Sera was pacing back and forth in her home. She would've been trashing the place, had she the privacy to do just that, but she didn't have the luxury. The tall Seraphim, the voice of Heaven and her public face, had summoned company.
Adam was here.
The First Man had his LED mask and his usual outfit on. Only his golden wings were visible, the white, full body cloak with an A looking symbol on it covered the rest. The details on him, like the spikes on his collar, or the gold color that covered most of the cloak's arms, contrasted with the black bodysuit made of similar materials as the mask, not that you'd be able to see any of those details at first glance, or even under the cloak if Adam was to soar above you.
Adam, like all other Exterminators, had his clothes, every bit of them, made to mimic, and mock, hellspawn. From the LED mask, a very emotive one compared to the rank and file, to the horns on it, the spikes and other more brutal and, gently and simply put, demonic features made to make the message clear in Hell and Heaven.
It also made a few things simpler; the most demonic looking Winners were marked not only by their utilitarian and more militaristic outfits, but the halo. Instead of the plain, traditional and simply round halo of most angels, Exorcists usually had spikes or some other adornment added to mark them. In the case of Adam? Being a truly ancient version of modern Exorcist halos, his own had two spikes straight on the middle, right above his nose, with no real connection to the halo itself.
Though right now everything, from the clothes to his halo, and in particular the mask that offered a hint at how the man was feeling with an expression of nervousness clear on the projected face, could easily be obliterated. Why? Because Sera was about to kill someone.
Or she would, if Emily hadn't done that herself.
"She didn't mean to." Sera had been muttering that and a few other things every time she passed Adam. "It was an accident. Yes. She was trying to help. She had good intentions. She saved him, right? Yes! His soul didn't get to pass on. So she didn't kill anyone. All is good. All is good."
The mumbling, muttering, and downright maddening mantra had made sure Adam stayed in place. The smallest comment could explode on his face.
It didn't help that Sera was looking more and more deranged as time went on. More of the eyes covering her body were coming out and looking everywhere, specially at Adam.
After all, he had fucked shit up, hadn't he?
As if that turned a switch on, Sera looked his way.
"This is your fault, Adam." Adam didn't even manage to gulp before the clearly frustrated, confused, angry and who knows what else, Seraphim got on his face. "If you hadn't proposed these damn Exterminations-."
"We would be rowing up shit creek without a paddle!" Adam was quick to defend himself. "You know Sinner souls have been growing more and more powerful, Sera. The worst of humanity is down there and until the Exterminations began they were growing insanely in number."
Sera frowned at the First Man before turning around and pacing again. Adam managed a sigh of relief.
You know what is nice about heavenly homes? You can make them from and into whatever the fuck you want. For Adam? A surprisingly normal home, though the outside looked, in his opinion, rad as fuck. But the inside was surprisingly spartan, plain even. If you ignore a lot of shit from Earth that is; paraphernalia, music albums, CDs, vinyls and more.
Why was this important? Because Sera had a predilection for Greek culture, at least building wise. Though that also included statues, furniture… weapons. All of them decorative of course, something to help her relax. Vanity was not Sera's thing and she preferred more highly advanced and utilitarian environs when it came to work, so her home was meant to make her feel at ease, relax and bring a smile to her lips whenever she looked around. Adam could understand, kudos to the woman.
But right now every piece of furniture, specially the statues and weapons, were vibrating whenever Sera looked his way. It was clear that the Seraphim was thinking, very fucking hard at that, about turning him into a temporary pincushion.
To be honest, not that he'd be stupid enough to admit it, Adam deserved it.
Now, don't get the man wrong. He was damn fucking awesome, buuuut he may've lied a little bit about angels not making mistakes. You know how it is. You cannot show weakness with hellspawn and all.
… Okay, fuck this shit. He was in his head, he could come clean with his own thoughts at least.
Adam wanted out of this fucking deal. He wanted Lilith to fuck off. He had grown angrier and angrier over time after allowing her back into Heaven. As the First Woman, Lilith was allowed. God hadn't said shit about it and Heaven's law seemed to allow Adam to just bring her in, no questions asked. At first it even felt like a victory! Adam pulled Lilith from Hell, meaning less Overlords, meaning less powerful Sinners overall, and making Lucifer suffer like a bitch in the interim.
Fucking strike, right!?
Wrong. So fucking wrong.
That bitch was happy to have Adam as her manservant now. It fucking sucked big time because, TECHNICALLY, she was still alive. Adam? Adam was motherfuckingly dead. Not only did that detail piss him off for various reasons, but Lilith seemed adamant about making his life Hell, with a capital H. It seemed like she thought that it was ADAM's fault that God had been a dick.
Bitch, Adam had NO fucking say in what that old ass did. Fuck, Adam was 'lucky' to have had the place and the orders he had back when God was designing humanity and leaving the final touches to the angels. Adam had been the motherfucking prototype and then everything went to shit shortly after.
Adam was not at fault for all the crap Lilith had to go through. But that cunt acted as if it was! The First Man would admit that he was a self serving, egocentric asshole, true. After all, he had reasons to be. Right? But he hadn't been this level of malicious until Lilith showed up. Had he been cruel and ready to kill when Sinners were involved? Sure. Have you seen the number of people being plain horrible on Earth? For no reason whatsoever? The levels of depravity, cruelty and just downright malice for even the slightest differences? Holy fuck. Adam had thought things were getting better a few decades ago, then shit went dark like them fucking ninjas in the night.
So was it so surprising that Adam lost his shit a little bit? No, he was sure anyone would tell you that he was perfectly expected to be pissed.
What he wasn't expected to do was go full stupid on his way down.
Probably didn't help that Lute had a hardon for getting rid of Vaggie. Now, Adam could be a total and colossal dick (in many ways), but while he was fine with poking fun at someone that lost her cool, he was not so much of a douche that he'd have this huge hardon to get back at the young woman. I mean, she fucked up, sure, and she got the punishment according to what was promissed if dereliction of duty was found to have taken place. But this much anger? Adam thought Lute was taking it too far, and that is saying something.
No bonus points for him though. He allowed Lute to give him a brain worm to go harder and harder on the Exterminations. It was as if the woman had something to prove. Not his place to tell her to stop when she wasn't doing wrong in his eyes, but perhaps Adam should've reined her in at some point. Fuck, the idea of going down twice had been hers, and how bold she had been about all of this affair in private (after all she id have enough of a cold head to not attempt shit in public, that was Adam's department) had only fueled Adam's own fire further with Lilith's bullshitery giving him every reason to want retribution.
But even if he thought Charlie's attempts were idiotic, all this bullshit was beneath him. And you know what? He was paying the price. Fine. He was man enough to know he fucked up.
Though this was not exactly what he thought would happen.
Also, mind you: Adam didn't have the idea about these Exterminations. For fuck's sake. Sera just loved to pin that particular blame on him!
"Look, Sera." Adam nearly cringed the moment the Seraphim, her back turned on him, had every single eye on her body glaring his way. "None of us thought this would happen, alright? I certainly didn't expect little Emily to get upset like this!"
Even if he was as crude with Emily around as with anyone else, Adam would, and this time for real, admit that he was fond of the little Seraphim. He thought she was probably as naive, or worse, than Charlie, even if she was much older, but Emily was everyone's morality pet. You have to protect 'n' shit.
"Oh, so that makes it better?" Sera turned at breakneck speed to face Adam. "This makes your fuckup excusable, Adam!?"
The fact that she cursed told Adam all he needed to know.
CBT, here we go.
"I should just-!"
"Seraphiel. Stop."
Adam had Sera's hands less than an inch away from his mask. And you know what? That mask would probably withstand anti tank rounds. Contrary to popular belief: That would fuck up a Winner. Probably send them back to Heaven to reform, much like a Sinner.
His mask would do fucking nothing if Sera wanted to gouge his eyes out.
Michael, on the other hand, could stop the Seraphim with just his voice. Having appeared in person was just overkill.
As a side note: The Exterminations came from this guy, or at least the idea did.
Saint Michael, Archangel patron of Warriors. That title held a lot of weight in Heaven after Hell began to grow. That, and the man had been the one at the head when it came to push Lucifer and his followers from Heaven. He was a motherfucking cold bastard because that is how he was made to be.
And Adam respected the fucker a lot.
Didn't hurt any that he was built like a truck. I mean, Michael was a cheating bastard; angels had the fucking hardest time ever changing shape without magic making them redesign their whole bodies, so to say that Michael looked like a damn sculpture was no lie.
Six feet five, piercing neon blue eyes, long blonde hair tied as a ponytail falling down his shoulder, blue cheeks in contrast to his brother's red, broad shoulders, fucking ripped twenty four seven since his creation, strong hands with experience on all weapons ever created and the meanest, most tired glare you could ever hope to see. Michael was the most overworked man in Heaven next to his brother Gabriel (whom now just had to keep track of all people in Heaven, among other things), and this was reflected in his face always looking sad, frowning, or just downright tired, with insanely big bags under his eyes being the only thing that 'uglified' his otherwise perfect visage.
He was a fan of the old ways, which basically meant toga, weapons always on himself, a small crown of golden laurels as only decoration and the color blue paired with white in a tasteful fashion. Nothing modern, nothing too out of the norm or that would bring too much attention beyond his six wings, the golden aura about him or his simply perfect physique.
This was the most dangerous warrior in Heaven, and the man looked DONE today. So Adam shut up and contained his usual ramblings that, for some reason he still didn't understand, Michael usually put up with.
"Michael…" Sera did her best to gain any semblance of decency, then failed miserably within a few seconds. Giving up, Sera at least stood straight and proud in her own home. "To what do I owe the honor?"
"Emily killed a man today."
Ah, yes. Michael was, unlike his brother, a very direct, no nonsense kind of man. If he didn't want you around, you'd know. If you bothered him, you'd known.
If you were about to die, you'd known soon enough too.
Not to say he was an asshole. The complete opposite in fact. Michael was a very gentle soul, but he was also a fanatic of his Father's work. God's word came above all else, even after you considered that, by God's own word, the angels were meant to manage everything going on.
It was a constant conflict with him in that regard. Michael wanted to do good by everyone, even demons, but he also knew there needed to be a balance and that his Father wished for perfection that sometimes required 'pruning' the tree. It was not a service he loved, which is why he made sure Exterminators were a thing so he could do his own thing with other duties, but Michael would fight, as he had done before, if needed. If possible however, he preferred a verbal spar and to use his charisma to win others. Even Adam would say that the Archangel had a disarming smile the few times he had used it. But considering Michael got even more shit than Adam on the regular, it was no surprise he always looked about to tear someone's throat out.
"... She didn't." Sera defended, if only a second after the fact. "His soul was not yet out of his body. It was a split second mistake, no worse than any out of body experience for a human."
"Seraphiel." Michael huffed. It was clear to Adam that the guy was done long before the conversation ever started. "You already did far too much wrong with your favoritism towards Emily. I would've ignored most of her involvement on this if she had remained in Heaven and kept to the angels and the dead souls, as is her duty. But she is crossing far too many lines. You know this, Seraphiel. Do not lie."
"Hey man, chill." Adam found himself doing 'his job', as it were.
While Michael wasn't coming too hard, if you consider how he could deal with real problems, he was making Sera tense up. Again, Adam was a dick, but he had his chivalry.
Some of it at least. When he wanted, or with the people he liked.
So he was flawed. Suck a dick. Not his, a different dick.
"Remember, man: Relax. Sera is panicking here and none of us wants the house going up in holy flames, hmm?" Adam couldn't believe that he was trying to defuse this shit, but he did it anyway. "Look, I am sure that-."
"Adam, while I do appreciate your company in many ways, I would prefer it if you didn't do this now." Michael's words weren't hars, but they were clear. Adam shut his trap while Michael focused on Sera. "Look, Sera." Huh. At least Adam could take that as a 'win', or the closest possible with Michael. "I am lenient. I allow many of you and the other Seraphim's plans, even those that border on heretical points."
"Heretical?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Some angels have been more interested on Earth in ways more fitting of Hell. Their job is to corrupt and influence negatively. Ours is to be positive, but difficult. Heaven is meant to be a hard earned paradise, Hell is destined to be a worse version of life, considering my brother's changes to the place." Michael let out a huff. "But there have been rules written in stone: Emily's actions leave us little choice."
"You can't! You-!"
"Do you think I'd care for the removal of one Seraphim when I already banished my brother?" Michael asked with the driest, most contemptuous of tones. "More so after what was done to bring her to existence?" This threw Sera back as Michael leered at her. There was clear disdain, if not anger, in his words and eyes. "Emily has killed a mortal. Perhaps not in a 'full' way, but she has done so. IF, and that is a big if, she does help all of creation, then maybe this can be overlooked."
This threw Adam for a loop. What the fuck had happened? The mortal had croaked for a second. Fine, big whoop. I mean, Adam had seen the guy, he had seen his soul. That Jack was probably one of the few Adam would even give a thumbs up for. Emily hadn't even properly kill him in the end!
So what was going on?
"Michael, please." Sera took a step towards Michael, clearly pleading for all it was worth. "Emily is just trying to help. Unlike some of the lower angels, she doesn't have a single mean bone in her body."
Michael took a deep breath. "Sera… Do you remember what we spoke about when I first mentioned the Exterminators?"
The Seraphim felt her lips dry. "They are… necessary."
"Even the cherubs are hardier than a human, Sera. Most of the damage they'd receive in a normal fight is cosmetic. But what happens if they get wounded for real? Even a cherub is slower to regenerate than a human. Winners could take five to ten times more than when they were alive. Proper angels, you and me, could take years, decades, more even!" Michael unfurled his wings as he grew more agitated. "Dispossessing souls and doing what must be done is no easy task, Sera. If we ever got into a real war, we would lose. Death by a thousand cuts." The mere idea made Adam shiver. To think that his descendants would, in one form or another, ever threaten Heaven was unthinkable. He liked his jokes and to be an ass, but he couldn't very well allow that to ever happen. "And now Emily not only is aiding Hell, but also exposing Earth to a reality she should not. This may push things beyond acceptable levels."
"You don't mean-."
"We may need to bring those that can be saved at some point, Sera, while they still live."
Adam's eyes almost bugged out. Rapture? Michael was kidding, right?
"Good intentions aren't always rewarded, Sera, not when they can do so much damage." Michael went on, his previous tired expression even more so now. "I feel the presence of Lucifer on Earth even now. He has left, but something remains… He will grow a new base, somehow. He is adamant on protecting his daughter, on making sure she is safe. He'll risk everything, destroy everything, for her." Suddenly Adam noticed an accusatory glare aimed at Sera. "You know how it is."
Sera stiffened. "Micharl, please-."
"There will be no secrets shared, no names given, nothing." Michael said with a frown. There was something there Adam wasn't getting. "But remember, Sera: I will do what must be done. I will do as I have always done. God's will shall be served."
Sera tried to reach out for a second, but she moved her hand back, heartbreak clear in her eyes. "Just… please, Michael?"
Michael turned away from Sera, then began walking away. He only stopped to make a portal and speak "She feels there is something wrong with the idea of coming back to Heaven. Emily may not know why, perhaps fearing we may stop her actions." Michael hummed. "She'd be right. Her offer, the deal you two struck, has already breached far too many rules. But that is inconsequential if Emily remains away from us. It is never assured, but I fear she will likely fall prey to earthly temptations the more that feeling stays there and she tries to fill the void left by Heaven with something else. It is a feeling that will remain until she believes she has been absolved, but that will never happen unless she comes back, victorious." It was only when Michael was about to leave that he let it drop. "I have no confidence she ever will, Sera. She was never meant to be a parangon, like many of us. It is not in her core to be." Again, the glare. "You know why that is."
Adam looked at Sera. The Seraphim's many eyes were glistening with tears. The woman had been broken.
"Please Michael. I beg of you."
And Michael's own resolve crumbled. But not his faith. He just looked miserable. "I will do what must be done, Sera. I already gave you clemency ONCE." Michael looked away the moment Sera let out a sob. "I am sorry. All I can offer you is… I can just give you time to accept this. That, and do you the courtesy of this visit." He shook his head. Adam could see that, all business about this or not, Michael wasn't happy. "At some point Emily's actions will be too much. A grain of sand doesn't make a desert, but little by little they pile up."
Michael disappeared through the portal shortly after, leaving Sera and Adam alone.
The Seraphim fell to her knees shortly after.
And Adam? Adam didn't know what the fuck was going on, only that Sera got screwed, brutally.
Even with her previous actions Adam didn't find it in himself to leave the woman alone. He helped her up and guided her towards her bedroom. Sera could be a massive cunt and a stick in the mud, but she didn't deserve this.
Though, in Adam's head, he had to admit that Sera should have fought harder. This was Emily, for fuck's sake.
Who wouldn't fight for their family until their last breath?
*** Hell. Blitzo's Apartment ***
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me. I almost got murdered today."
Blitzo had crashed on his couch so hard the poor thing almost gave up all pretenses and finally collapsed on itself. Luckily for the imp, said couch decided to live at least one day longer, much like the rest of his apartment.
So many pictures with him crossed out, so many horses, so few things beyond that and the bare necessities.
"You know, you should cut it out a bit when you are, you know, talking with fucking Lucifer, dad."
Also a wild Loona. Or, well, not wild, not tonight. She looked done with life (more than usual) as she ate her dinner next to the kitchen with Blitzo having just devoured his the moment it was done.
Blitzo didn't seem too keen on his daughter's words. "Loona, dear, Lucifer can kiss my ass." The Imp groused, though in all sincerity he was just bullshiting here. Lucifer would've really killed him if he had pissed off his daughter, Blitzo knew it. Call it dad instinct. "I am more worried about Rudolph, the Cannibal Reindeer."
"Yeah, sure." Loona snorted. Blitzo could hear her going through her phone as she flipped or scrolled through videos and what have you. "But seriously: Try not to rile people up? I think we can keep up the usual banter a bit, but perhaps tone it down some."
Blitzo peeked his head from behind the couch to glare at his daughter. "Like you did with mister bloody strawberry?"
"Fuck you, dad." Loona flipped her father off with a thin smile on her lips. "Besides, I didn't know it was him, okay?"
"Well, now you do and we will ALL make sure the fucking Radio Demon doesn't feast on our entrails." Blitzo nodded, leaving it at that before resting back on his couch. "By the way. Did Moxxie and Millie do as I asked?"
"Of course they did. Fatty and the red bride are always trying to eat your ass." Blitzo could hear Loona put the phone down and pick the plate up. "Millie got a few blades reforged from those stupidly big halberds and shit, something a bit more usable. Moxxie got only two, I think three, but he said the third one was up in the air right now, guns and blessed tipped bullets. It still ate through a nice chunk of the big boss' money tho."
"If we bought shit from Carmine of course it would." Blitzo hummed to himself. Carmine weaponry was damn fucking expensive, but you could even ask for custom jobs. Perhaps that was what Moxxie had gotten with that third weapon. "And did you find any artifacts, Looney?"
Loona let out a groan at the nickname, making Blitzo smile to himself. "Nothing much really. The things Lucifer told you about aren't really anywhere around here. Imp City has very few magical items like that, and those stores that have them usually accept only the fucking birds."
Ah, the Goetia, yes. Considering there were a few of them nesting here and they were that fastidious, Blitzo shouldn't have been surprised.
"Fuck. I suppose we'll have to go to Pentagram or some other shithole like that." The Imp couldn't help but reel in disgust. "The smaller towns around Pride are going to be barren shitholes when it comes to magic crap like what we may need."
"Maybe." Loona let out a humm. "But there are a lot of places desperate enough to advertise their crap. Smaller areas sometimes hoard nice shit too. They are the closest thing to tax havens (as in: No one more powerful than the store owners coming to steal your shit), what with no Overlord ever bothering to go to anything smaller than a big city."
"True, true." Blitzo had to give that to Loona. Anything below a city or a huge metropolis was a wasteland of power for someone as big as an Overlord or any decent operation. "You found something out there then?"
"A few stores in bumfuck nowhere seem nice. They are close too. A couple hours for the furthest option." Which made Blitzo grimace. Right now they had time, but that would change soon enough. A couple hours away from their charges could mean a lot of shit if push came to shove. And, realistically speaking, Blitzo didn't want to see what 'failure' would mean when your employer was Lucifer. "But most places would be, at worst, an hour away. We can use all of tomorrow to get shit done and perhaps we won't ever need to go back there."
"You mean they could ship their shit to us?" Blitzo asked with at least a smidge of hope. He didn't want to go around hauling rare shit himself. It was asking for a bullet.
"Either that or magic delivery. Most of these stores are the real deal; they do not trust modern tech, instead relying on magic." Huh, that made Blitzo hopeful. "Which also means they are going to ask for your left kidney if they are really good at their job." Ok, so Loona laughed there and Blitzo's smile fell into a deadpan frown. "But they do have a lot of nice shit. IF they aren't bluffing."
"Fuck." Blitzo groaned. "I don't know if that'll be reliable while we are on the living world, though."
"Were you expecting these assholes to bring someone over that hotel and through that portal to send us shit?" Loona appeared next to her father with a mug of coffee in hand. She took a sip and grinned down at the Imp. "Doubt anyone will be allowed to cross over, ya know? I mean, other than business, like succubus shit, but they don't need to visit that portal for shit."
The Imp groaned again. "A man can dream, alright?!" Blitzo was clearly exasperated. Plus, he had gotten some news before he left the group. "Besides, your disguise 'n' shit may work up there, but Lucifer made it clear that most magic would be harder to work with. If it is a human doing magic? They'd have less of a problem. A dead soul or a demon? Probably much harder, unless you are someone like Stolas I mean."
Loona arched an eyebrow. "Someone tried to do shit while you were on Earth or what?"
"Bambi concealed us from the outside world apparently." Blitzo just waved it away. He was sure the radio fucker would've done it for self interest, experimentation, or just to flex anyway. "Lucifer made it clear that such things were better left for later. A lot of people could notice the magic being used, if anyone skilled enough was looking. That also includes the assholes upstairs."
"So you mean express delivery may be a bit harder to get, gotcha." Loona nodded as she took another drink. "I mean, so long as we are close to the portal Lucifer made it should be alright. Maybe? I may have used Stolas' book but I know shit other than: Have the book open on the right page, cast 'med buttcrack' and shit happens."
Blitzo snorted. "Mend buttcrack?"
"So I have been looking at shit from Earth today, 'cos' we are going to be spending a lot of time there." Loona fished her phone from her pants and clicked a few things. "Here, watch this."
Blitzo looked at his daughter for a second before he took her phone (surprising that she was handing it to him) before Loona played the ten second long video.
A cartoony wizard with a purple robe was in there, he began to say in a calm voice - "Abra kadabra flagelous closure." - then, in a much more imperious voice, he yelled - "GIVE THAT WIZARD TESTICULAR TORSION!" - to which another wizard in a black robe and with slick black hair laughed. That is until a green light and a squeezing sound appeared to overtake the scene and said wizard's dignity and possible future.
"HAH! Fucking gold." Blitzo nearly spat as he chuckled before the video went back on repeat. "You found that bullshit by chance?"
"Oh yeah. There are a lot of videos like this." Loona took back her phone as she finished her drink. "So I won't be bored if you send me there for whatever. You DID say I needed to do something?"
Bllitzo didn't lose his smile, but he did get a bit more serious. "Yeah, check the perimeter and shit. It looks like the usual suburban fuckery, but I want to have the place mapped out if you could make a video of it all or something."
"Eh, I suppose I can check it out tomorrow." Loona seemed down for it, but she did manage a grimace. "We can use that crystal of yours instead of going to the hotel, right?"
"Don't wanna go to the place?"
Loona snarled at her father's cheek. "Fuck no! Nowhere near that radio prick unless we have to."
"Good point." Blitzo conceded. "Yeah, you can use the crystal tomorrow. I'll open the portal for ya and you make sure your phone is on hand. Give me a call when you check a good enough chunk of the area and I'll get you back."
"Feels weird having this done backwards after so long having me as the doorman." Loona huffed as she left to clean her cup. "But if I have to work on that, then I'll go to bed. I'd prefer not to go to the living world pissed off and sleepy."
"Just remember." Blitzo called from the couch, clearly much of the same mind. "Don't maul anyone unless we are paid to do so. Tomorrow we are off the clock, so any murder would be for free. And we don't do free."
"Yeah, yeah." Blitzo heard his daughter going to her room. "Night, dad."
"Night, Loonie."
It wasn't until he heard the door that his smile banished. Blitzo wasn't angry or anything, just worried. That red motherfucker was the clearest danger he had ever seen, and that spoke volumes of Stella, her brother, most of the Goetia and a few of his rivals and general enemies.
Blitzo was going to have to watch his, and everyone of his companions', ass.
For all he knew that dick Alastor was eating fresh fucking babies right now.
*** Hell. Hazbin Hotel. Alastor's room/Bayou enchanted space ***
"Simply perfect my dear! I had feared you wouldn't be interested, what with how busy you have been as of late."
Alastor was in his room, relaxing as he sat in front of his table, this time devoid of any carcass or other element. Instead, an old rotary phone, very much similar to his cane in design, sat there as he chatted the night away.
It had indeed been months since he last spoke with Rosie. Why, the meeting with the other Overlords hadn't given him enough time, but he could hardly spare time to visit his old friend with how much work (and entertainment) there was at the hotel. No, he would've loved to drop by regularly, but time was of the essence.
And now Charlie trusted him more than enough to bring one of his own friends into this little mess. He was sure Rosie would love the idea. And what do you know? He was, as usual, right.
"Oh Alastor, come on, don't be a tease." Rosie giggled on the other side of the phone. He had caught her going to bed, or so she said, but Rosie had been more than happy to talk away for an hour or two. Beauty sleep could wait. "Who'd refuse such a gentlemanly offer? Going back to the living world? A darling prospect indeed."
"Even if we have to play nice?" Alastor teased with his usual grin being perfectly sincere.
"Dear, dear." Rosie's smile could be heard through the phone. "We will play nice, but we both know not everyone else will. I am sure we'll get… fresh meat at some point."
Alastor's smile widened at the thought. That was one benefit he would love to partake in. There was one resource that would never run out in the living world, and that resource was idiocy. If someone tried to do something, and Alastor needed not his intelligence to know it would indeed be so, then he and his dear lady friend would be in their right to remove the pest.
What the both of them did with the remains after would be, of course, at their own discretion to choose.
"Indeed Rosie, indeed." Alastor hummed a little chuckle. "I am just sad you won't be able to come over right away."
"My friend, if I tried to do that Cannibal Town would eat itself the very first day." Rosie chidded with no little mirth. Alastor could see it after all. Wouldn't be too big a problem, but rebuilding afterwards, and waiting for all the cannibals to regenerate, would be a pain. "I need to make sure everyone knows to behave. I am unwilling to let any young'un come and try to butt in my territory if I am to partake in this little project."
"And the possibility of this succeeding and no more angels coming to bother us?" Alastor asked as he toyed with his cane. He was going to need it in a moment.
"A very welcome bonus, if dear Charlotte succeeds." Rosie admitted. It was no secret the woman liked Charlie's theatrics, as did Alastor. "I cannot wait to meet her, but I doubt I will make her acquaintance in less than a week, probably longer. Rallying all these dunderheads is not easy, and you know… with 'her' around…"
"Ugh." Alastor's ears flattened against his skull. "That old crone is never going to die."
"She'll outlive Hell, I fear." Rosie nodded on the other side of the line. "But yes, I think this wraps up this lovely conversation, Alastor. I'd love to talk more, or have you over more often if possible, but we both have been busy and you are going to throw yourself at something else now, I can see it."
"There is another call I have to make if nothing else, yes." Alastor admitted. Rosie was one of the few people that could read the Radio Demon without much effort. "It will be quick, but even I need some rest after all this. I have a few things to think over."
Rosie titered. "Do take care Al. And don't worry, I'll make sure to have my eye out for opportunities. After all, a favor like this shouldn't go without a proper reward."
"You are too kind, dear Rosie." Alastor hummed, quite happy with how it turned out. "For now do take care. I'll be seeing you soon."
With that business done, and the one pleasant conversation of the night wrapped up, Alastor unsummoned the phone and thought for a second. Was this a good idea? Of course it was, but he knew just as well that it was likely to bear no fruit whatsoever.
Still, he needed the cat to know.
Tapping on the microphone, Alastor cleared his throat. "Dear Husker, are you awake?"
A loud, complaining and tired growl came from the staff. "I am now, you asshole. What do you want?"
Ah, the benefit of having a direct connection to those souls you owned. At least this way Husk wouldn't try to claw his eyes out. "I need your ear for a second, friend. There is a matter of importance to discuss."
"The fuck is so important that you have to wake me up after today's shit?" Husk grunted, the sound of shuffling could be heard. He was probably trying to get comfortable again so he could pass out the moment Alastor stopped speaking. "I thought learning about this new bullshit was all I'd have to suffer through."
"Oh, Husker. How little you seem to know me." Alastor inched closer to his microphone. He knew the mere sound of this would make Husk's hair stand on end. It didn't help that Alastor allowed his shadows some fun and a distortion to his voice to come through."There is always something 'fun' going on. And you are here to be part of it."
"Fuck!" There was a thump. Husk had likely fallen from the bed. "You motherfucker!"
Alastor chuckled, dismissing all this little harmless fun of his for now. "Oh, you always deliver my good Husk. But let's talk shop now, shall we?"
Husk's growl came clear as the sound of a bed creaking, this time allowing the old weight back on top of it, came through. "What the actual fuck do you need? I want to go to bed and forget about this as soon as possible."
"That is the kicker, Husk. You aren't going to forget." Alastor clicked his tongue. "Apparently there is a…" Alastor nearly threw up a little in his mouth. "Game, about me."
Silence.
Alastor knew Husk was probably trying to process what he had just said.
The sound of Husk lowering his back, as if he was trying to inch closer and glare at Alastor was heard through the cane. "A game."
"A video game, yes." Alastor's words dripped with disgust at the mere idea. "I learned of this today."
"Oh. My fucking. GOD!" The reaction was expected. Husk was clearly livid as the hellcat jumped from the bed to stand upright. "You woke me up to tell me this fucking BULLSH-!"
"Husk." Game is over now. Alastor's voice grew darker. "Tell me. What would happen if someone were to take a hold of my soul?"
The cat Sinner's tirade died the moment his boss' voice was heard. Alastor knew, both because he could see him and because he knew Husk, that the hellcat was now thinking things over. His face of realization was clear in Alastor's mind without the need of his shadow minions sending the image through to him.
"We all get fucked." Husk said in a simple, matter of fact tone. "Most of the souls you have in contract are strong, I should know." And now the Sinner sounded like he needed a drink or twenty. "But if someone gets you to do whatever the fuck they want? We'd probably be dead weight. Easier to get rid of us, or use our powers and drain us somehow. I have seen enough bastards left as empty as my namesake to last me a couple eternities."
"Indeed. But do you know what would happen if a soul I own finds a way to try and revert one of my contracts?" Alastor's smirk became predatory, and happy was the last thing you'd call it.
Husk gulped on the other side of the 'line'. "I know the fucking safeguards you have on these deals, Al. No one would be stupid enough. We'd all be better off with an Exorcist about to cut our throats."
"Yet now I know there is someone out there that found enough about me to make a little, itty bitty 'game'." Alastor rose from his seat with clear anger crossing his features, but the smile never faltered. "If, dear Husk, enough information survived the many measures I had in place in case of my death, then we all are in a pickle. I refuse such a thing. I must know if one such as you could find a way to make sure such a… game… does not make it to Hell."
"You mean, like, after Earth learns of this shit?" Husk sounded incredulous. "How old is this fucking game?"
Alastor frowned in his mind. How old was it? Why did it matter? This was one thing he did not know anything about, one of the few. "I only know this for now: It is old, early, eh, 3D graphics." And on top of all he had to fight the urge to hurl when he spoke of this.
"Fuck." Husk grumbled. "Look, Al, I know very little about games. Back in my day it wasn't exactly common for people to be nerds like today, you know that. All I am aware of has to do with some of the conversations I have had." And Husk sounded like he had suffered through far too many of those. In fact Alastor knew he had. Funny how this time the Radio Demon didn't find Husk's suffering humorous. "If what you say is true, then that game may be-what was the term? Ah, yes: Abandonware, I think."
Alastor looked cross at the word. "What does it mean?"
"Games that are old enough for no one to give a shit if you pirate them, or sometimes even free to download into modern systems, if you can make them work." Husk explained, more calm and collected than he felt. "So if this becomes common knowledge? The game is going to be in Hell fast as fuck."
Alastor grumbled under his breath. "Shit." He made sure Husk didn't hear, but the frustration was clear in his voice now. "So no way to learn about this 'game's' contents without making sure others are aware of it."
"Not a chance, no." Husk admitted, and he did sound worried this time. "Whoever told you about this may have the thing. Since I can only think of that 'Jack' fella, considering he makes his money with games, you could perhaps talk it out with him."
Alastor pondered that, the tip of his cane resting on his chin. "Perhaps." He said as he returned to his natural position. "I foresee this'll be a painful experience, whatever happens."
Husk dared to let out a chuckle. "Hopefully not. But serious talk, Al." And for once Alastor deigned Husk's words to have real weight. "Get that kid to tell you whatever ya need to know. I know you well enough to be aware it is likely that you left nothing behind, not enough to screw us over. But if you did? I swear to what is left of my soul that I won't get screwed over for your mistakes. You made sure *mine* are paid for dearly, 'boss', but if you mess up on your end of the deal, my soul goes free." There was a growl coming through the cane. "As was the deal, right?"
Alastor glared at the cane, but even he wouldn't deny Husk was right. Part of the deal was to ensure certain protections, which had been more than assured back in the day. This development had never been foreseen for it shouldn't have happened, ever.
This time Alastor would allow the disrespect to go unpunished. Even he, the Radio Demon, wasn't perfect, and his servant was in the right. A master that cannot protect those under his charge is no master at all.
So, just THIS once, Alastor would bow to Husk.
"You are completely right on that front, my good Husk. I'll play my part on this and make sure nothing comes of it." And Alastor wasn't lying at all here, as his filterless, natural voice made it known. "But do remember; such blatant disrespect will be costly if you go running your mouth again. I allow this because you are, without a doubt, right to be cross at me. We both know that is not usually the case when you talk back."
Husk harrumphed on the other side of the call. "Whatever, boss. I answered your questions and said my piece. Can I go back to sleep?"
"You may." Alastor's gracious dismissal was met with a quick 'fwomp' as the hellcat hit the bed. Alastor cut the connection afterwards. "Damn it."
Alastor paced. He did so to unnerve others most of the time, but now he was at a crossroad. His search for power to free him from his shackles had found new possibilities, but a stupid little discovery had made things clearly difficult. Alastor was under no impression that there'd be very little, if anything, of use in this damn 'game', but it brought possibilities.
How many would learn enough to, perhaps, summon him?
How many would be curious to delve in the dark secrets Alastor had found himself immersed in?
How many could find the patron that he had tied himself to in the darkest day of his life, when all hope had been lost?
Alastor knew there were far more questions, but these were a good mark of how justified his worries were. Any of these three could unmake him if things came to happen in the wrong order and wrong way, and it was so damn easy for it to be exactly as he feared.
He hadn't lived this long without making preparations for everything. But this situation? No one could've prepared for it.
So Alastor paced, and thought. His mind running afoul of Lucifer a few times.
The King of Hell…
His bindings had been broken. Fear for his daughter would bring him to action. Even if this hadn't been the case now, the moment Adam tried to do something would've been enough to stir the somber king away from the shadows and back into the light.
Alastor frowned.
One problem at a time. First: Answers. Then? Power, as had always been the plan.
He'd get his freedom and everything else he could in the interim. Alastor knew this much.
Alastor would ENSURE this much. He would not fail.
*** Hell. Morningstar Castle ***
Opulence, what a neat thing, right? You have pretty things to look at and to flaunt. Gold, silver, copper, jewels, rarer metals, paints, statues, whatever. Everything had a purpose, and some purposes were simply decorative.
Lucifer found the red trident in his hands to be simple, crude, and effective.
That is exactly what he wanted.
It was not the more detailed weapon he had made for his daughter. No, that one was special for his special girl. This one? This one was made with anger. Hate. It was made to kill and to serve a purpose as firm and solid as the heavenly material it had been forged from. It had killed angels, permanently, and it had seen many of its brethren, its fellow heretics, die in turn.
This, this brutal and base thing, was Lucifer's weapon. And there was only one of its kind.
"It has been so long since I last used you." Lucifer's globed hand took a firm grip of the thing. It felt familiar, solid. He offered a smile. "And you still fit! How about that."
The seriousness of it all didn't mean Lucifer couldn't at least try to lighten the mood. Besides, he was going to hate this next part.
He was in the armory for a reason. It was full of magic, which was a good thing considering it had not been opened in ages. Said magic would be useful in a moment or two, but it was secondary. The important detail was this: No one was going to come here. Lucifer needed an hour or so alone for this to work, and this place would be perfect for the plan to take form.
Besides, the last time he tried this he was dizzy for a while. Better to be in a place where no one could teleport to, in case Heaven found out. The walls and door should keep him safe until he recovered if the worst came to happen.
"Samael."
But teleporting had nothing to do with mental communication. That kind of barrier had been lowered a long time ago because no one sent messages traight to his fucking head anymore.
Lo and behold, his brother was calling.
"Michael." Lucifer growled in his mind. "I don't use that fucking name anymore. What do you want?"
Michael ignored Lucifer's contempt. "I am calling to warn you; Emily has violated heavenly law."
Lucifer's eyes almost bugged out. "The fuck you said? That girl has done nothing wrong!"
"She may think modern records of Heaven tell her all there is, but she knows not of Father's words." Michael spoke flatly, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. "Revealing things to humans was always prohibited. But that is just one thing."
"And what the fuck has the kid done to bring you out of your self flaggelating room?" Lucifer groused out that question, hating the idea of talking with his brother again. Many of the old wounds, while not physically there, hadn't left. "That young hopeful is trying to do more good for all souls than anyone else! Are you going to scorn here like you did me? Just for helping?"
"You brought your punishment on yourself, brother." Michael's tone was one of stone and cold. "And what did you do when you were to be cast down? You rallied those that thought like you, instead of allowing the idea to die. There are so many fallen angels in Hell because YOU poisoned the well, brother."
"I brought shit!" Lucifer yelled those words physically as he swung his weapon around. The stench of burnt ozone lingered in the air as magic dulled what would've otherwise burn kilometers of Hell in one single movement. "I did what had to be done! We weren't made with freedom in mind, brother. Humans weren't made with freedom in mind! This was another of Father's fucking experiments, one He ALWAYS knows is going to end this way unless something unexpected happens. And lo and fucking behold, I did what I always do: The right fucking thing!"
Michael stayed silent for a second. "What is 'good' and what is 'right' are two different things, Samael."
"Suck a dick, Mike." Lucifer spat. "What Dad does is 'good' because it aids Him. What I did was RIGHT because it aids US. Perhaps some day Father will achieve His 'perfection', but I can't stomach His methods. If you can? Good for you. But don't come here giving me this bullshit. We have had this conversation far too many times."
"Fine." Michael had clearly grown wary. "Emily killed that young man."
Lucifer's fight died for a second. "Shit, really?"
"His life ebbed away for a moment, just a moment. His soul didn't flee, but he had been killed by angelic hands." Michael explained in further detail. "That her miracle brought him back means nothing. Her actions have consequences, and this is one more to add to the pile."
Lucifer pursed his lips. "So what? Jack is alive despite his 'death'. Are you going to tell me that you'll stop Emily and my daughter from helping souls?" His voice grew dangerous. "Are you telling me you will interfere?"
"I will do what Father's will desires me to do, whether I like it or not." Michael responded matter of factly, but not with happiness, not this time. "Which begs the question: What are you doing in the living world, brother?"
"Nonya."
"What?"
"Nonyafucking business." Lucifer smirked. This just told him his plan was going to work. "I can do whatever the fuck I want. The gates aren't there anymore."
Michael's voice grew terse. "You are playing with fire once more, Samael."
"And you are testing my fucking patience." Lucifer growled out a warning. "I swear to fucking DAD. You do anything, there will be war."
This brought pause to Michael. "You wouldn't dare. It would be risky for all involved. Charlie-."
"My daughter will be alright. Your fucking niece will pull through, even if her family is filled with too many assholes." Lucifer spat venom with every syllable. "Don't fucking tempt me, Michael. I swear to fuck that I'll bring back the legions. I'll fucking create a new damn metal to fight back your angelic bullshit. I'll marshal the damn mortals if needed be!" His tone turned low and sadistic. Clearly, his old fire was coming back. "Everyone is going to see the hypocrisy on your end, brother. So stop sucking up to Dad and start thinking for yourself."
"Samael, don't you da-"
Lucifer erected those old barriers with but a thought. His brother blocked, Lucifer took his trident with a firm grip.
His eyes closed, his mind focused.
The light disappeared, so did the magic in the room.
Minutes went by, until an hour was gone.
Lucifer opened his eyes again, tired, but with a new connection formed.
"Oh brother." Lucifer turned, his smile beyond predatory as he opened the doors with a movement of his hand. "I FUCKING dare alright."
