Author's Note: This story has been with me for very long time, even when I am not writing. Unfortunately I cannot promise to get every chapter out quickly, but I can say that I have drafted all the chapters for this story. And, I do plan to edit, and get these chapters posted. So if you are coming back to this tale, my apologies that it has taken so long for me to come back to writing. And thank you for coming back. If you are new, welcome, take a seat, make sure it's comfortable and let's go.

Lots of thanks to Tove for beta-ing this chapter


Chapter 12: Remembering Lily

The evening air was crisp. Even in the charmed room, Severus watched goose pimples slowly surface on his exposed arm, which was wrapped protectively around his paramour. The sound of her breath was muffled against his chest.

He watched her. Her body, pressed against his, looked small in his embrace. Her mane covered his shoulder. Moving his arm gently up along her back, he let his fingers dive into her hair. It was soft and silky. The gentle scent of green apples, and of her, filled him.

All too often, he found himself wondering how it came to be that this intelligent, beautiful woman kept crawling into bed with him. No matter how often he chastised himself, his mind still wondered at his new existence. Hermione was overbearing, but in the best kind of way. She was just as happy reading alongside him as she was pressed against him or peppering him with intellectual questions.

She murmured incoherently against him. She was still dozing.

He smiled as he let his hand trail along the nape of her neck. Her skin was supple against his fingers. He traced over her shoulder blades, letting his fingers meander aimlessly.

A distinctive pop announced the appearance of a house elf to the left of the bed.

Keeping Hermione close, Severus shifted slightly to allow himself to look at the small elf, whose bloodshot eyes darted between the Potions Master and his guest.

"Vekey is sorry to—to interrupt," the house elf whispered.

Hermione murmured unintelligibly. Smoothing his hands over her back, he spoke to the small elf. "That is quite all right, Vekey. I suspect there is something of need?"

"Yes, Professor. Your presence, it has been requested in the Headmistress' office." Vekey paused, considering whether to continue. "Those aurors, they have returned. Vekey knows it is very late—"

"Yes, indeed it is. Thank you for your time, Vekey. I'll make haste."

Severus inhaled deeply, memories of the last meeting with the aurors filling him with dread. He appreciated that they were merely trying to do their jobs, to understand the recent attacks, but Severus did not appreciate being targeted when it was so very unwarranted.

Some hours later, Severus found himself standing stiffly in Minerva's office, his entire body tensed. The questions went round and round. Severus had wanted the ground to swallow him whole when his entire life story had become public knowledge, and to have it revisited opened the emotional wounds anew.

He had had enough.

"This is over." His voice brash, cutting through the chatter.

"Mr Snape—"

"Professor Snape," he sharply corrected the young wizard.

"We still have more to cover. We need to understand if your relationship was intimate—"

Severus glared at the young man's insolence. "You have no right," he growled. "This has nothing to do with her—"

"Severus—"

"Please don't ask me to calm down, Minerva." He turned to her with a look of defeat she recognised. "This inept fool wants me to rehash everything that is already on the public record."

"We just need to understand—" the young auror spoke.

"What? How salacious our relationship was? Whether I still think of her?" He sneered at the two aurors. "Or maybe you just want to know if I get my jollies off to a dead woman—"

"Severus!" McGonagall chastised him. "Please, mind yourself."

She turned to the aurors. "Aurors of the Ministry you may be, but my Head of House is not wrong. This line of questioning is unnecessary and can be of no consequence to what has happened tonight."

"We are merely trying to confirm how it is plausible for this young man to have memories of Mr Snape. Memories of events that would have occurred some time before his own birth."

"And as you have been told for the nth time, these memories cannot be real. As for how it is possible for this individual to share them, I believe you are compensated well to figure that out. It is time for you to depart."

As Minerva walked the two aurors to the fireplace despite their protestations, Severus blindly sank into a maroon armchair.

As she returned to him, he spoke quietly, sounding defeated. "Minerva, if it's no trouble, may I see if Albus is available for a chat?"

She lay a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "It is much too late for an old biddy like me. I shall retire to my chambers. Please go right ahead, Severus." As Minerva moved to depart her office, she waved her wand towards the portraits, a shimmer falling down the wall and as the imperturbable charm fell away, the hum of the portraits' murmurings filled the room.

She paused at the doorway, turning back to the man in black. "I do apologise for this evening, Severus. If I had known, I would not have called for you."

"You could not have known."

"What a ridiculous waste of time."

"You don't need to ask," Severus sighed, his head hung low. "She was my dearest friend. But nothing untoward ever occurred, even if a young man had desired it."

"You're too much," she smiled at him softly. "Good night, Severus."

In the headmistress' office, Severus stared up at the portraits of the former headmasters of Hogwarts. His gaze fixed on Albus Dumbledore, gently snoring within his ornate frame.

"Albus. Are you available for a chat?"

"I am as available as paint on a canvas can be."

"I don't know why I bother with you." he shook his head lightly gazing up at the image of the man he once knew. Looking across the other headmasters present in their portraits, Severus muttered, "Muffliato," creating some privacy for him and Albus.

Albus stared at the Potions Master, shifting in his painted chair, then gently he spoke, "Severus, what burdens your soul today?"

"Whatever makes you think that I am burdened?" His tone was sardonic.

Albus' painted brow raised, a knowing look on his face, as silence filled the room.

"Does she still burden you, Severus?"

"No."

"Then what is the matter?"

Severus hesitated, his voice catching uncharacteristically in his throat as he searched for the right words.

He sighed heavily, his head hanging low. "I find myself...not dwelling on her as much as I once did," he admitted, his voice tinged with a mix of resignation and confusion. He paused, rubbing at his temples, trying to remember. "She hasn't crossed my mind in months. I don't know how I should feel, Albus. I spent years dedicated to her, dedicated to her memory. That was my entire existence, the only world I knew."

Albus regarded him, his expression tinged with empathy. "Ah, yes," he replied softly. "You see, my dear boy, feelings change. It is a natural part of life's ebb and flow."

Severus frowned, the admission making him uneasy. "She was a constant in my thoughts for so long. If nothing else, I could count on that to stay true," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "To find that changing...is disconcerting."

Albus nodded, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Change is often unsettling," he acknowledged. "But it is also a sign of growth and evolution. You must allow yourself to embrace it."

Severus clenched his jaw. The notion of such a change was stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within him. "And what if I'm not ready to embrace it?" he asked, his voice laced with uncertainty.

Albus' eyes twinkled. "Well, change does not wait, Severus. You must learn to live in the present," he advised, his tone gentle yet firm. "To cherish the love and the life that surrounds you now, without dwelling on what never truly was."

Albus paused, taking in the sight of the Potions Master. "It does not do to dwell on those who are no longer with us when we should rather do so on those who are."

When Severus did not speak, Albus' portrait continued, "You do not tarnish her memory or your history by carrying on. To find love again is a blessing, Severus. Do not think of it as a curse."

Severus squeezed his eyes shut, a heavy sigh escaping him. "I don't know how to feel about all of this. Am I merely deluding myself to think she could feel anything more?" He caught his head in his hands.

"Are we still talking about Lily Potter, or are we now talking of Ms Granger?"

Severus looked up in shock.

"Oh, come now. Surely you cannot be so naive as to think that anything ever stays unknown in this castle. Does it even matter? Now, when you feel joy, does its underlying reason change that feeling?"

"Of course it does, you senile old man."

"Calling me names won't get you anywhere, Severus."

"And if this...is not what I expected?" he asked, tripping over his words.

Albus' smile widened. "Then perhaps it is time to reassess your expectations, my dear boy."

Severus swallowed hard, the weight of Albus's words settling heavily upon him.

As Severus stood and turned away from the portrait of Albus Dumbledore, his mind buzzed with a mixture of confusion and revelation. The conversation had stirred up unfamiliar emotions within him, leaving him feeling vulnerable as he left the headmistress' office.

Lost in his musings, Severus made his way through the dimly-lit corridors of Hogwarts, the weight of his past hanging heavy on his shoulders. His footsteps echoed hollowly against the stone walls, each step a solemn reminder of the choices he had made and the paths he had walked.

As he reached the familiar confines of his chambers, Severus paused. He knew that within these walls lay both sanctuary and solitude.

With a resigned sigh, Severus pushed open the door and stepped into the room. The air was heavy with the scent of potions, parchment, and of her, a comforting familiarity that soothed his troubled mind.

He perched on the arm of the worn armchair beside the fire, the warmth seeping into his bones as he allowed himself to get lost in the hypnotic rhythm of the flames.

In the silence of his chambers, Severus finally allowed himself to confront the swirling maelstrom of emotions that had been plaguing him. The memories of Lily Potter no longer haunted him. Instead he felt a newfound sense of clarity—a recognition that perhaps it was time to let go of the past and embrace the present.

Amidst the turmoil, a flicker of realization began to dawn within him. He had spent years mourning the loss of Lily, allowing her memory to consume him with regret and longing. Yet, as he sat there in the stillness of the night, he couldn't help but acknowledge the shift within him.

The conversation with Albus echoed in his mind. Leaning towards the warmth of the crackling fire, he stared into the dancing flames. Thoughts of Hermione swirled in his mind, his time with her had been a welcome escape. He pondered on the delicate balance they were navigating between their intimacy and their lives.

Moments flickered before his eyes; laughter shred over late-night conversations, quiet moments stolen together, the gentle way her body fit with his. Lost for a few moments in reflection, the warmth of the fire soothed him.

After some time, Severus rose, crossing the room, his footsteps echoing softly against the stone floor. He entered his bedroom quietly, his eyes finding her form in the darkness. Her silhouette softened by the soft flicker of candles casting dancing shadows on the walls.

Undressing silently, he slipped under the covers beside her, he could feel the tension in his shoulders easing as he settled into the comforting warmth of his bed.

Hermione stirred at his presence, turning to face him with a small, sleep-softened smile. Without a word, he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her as they melted into each other's embrace.