Chapter 3

There's something so peaceful about the endless expanse of nature.

Except, this was far superior. All the flora was perfect in its own way, and none of the fauna were looking to eat anyone. Henry didn't want to trail off too far, he wasn't sure how long it would take Emily to start looking for him.

Henry heaved another sigh before sitting on soft grass next to a stream, watching as the small fish swam and the frogs leap from place to place.

Henry thought back to his undergraduate degree, where he took a class on philosophy.

If someone who is not omnipotent, omniscient, nor omnibenevolent made this system, then it must have flaws… No matter how well thought out. Perhaps… This is a test to see if I remain faithful to God even after death? Perhaps this is purgatory. Or perhaps many smaller infinities like in mathematics created the universe.

Henry looked onward. The question laid out before him was beyond his understanding to effectively answer or even breakdown.

In an instant, the air around him felt warmer. He felt the same way in his heart as he was being hugged, only, nobody was hugging him. He turned around to see a familiar Seraph, Emily, who looked at him with a warm smile.

"I thought I might find you out here." She said. The way she looked upon him had a unique way of making Henry feel loved and special.

"Hi Emily" Henry said, unable to resist smiling back.

Emily sat beside him, overlooking the stream.

"Do you have enough time to sit for a while? I don't want to prevent you from handling your other responsibilities." Henry asked.

"I don't believe I have anything more pressing now, Henry. My gift is in serving others and making them happy, here, in paradise. When they are happy, I am happy. But in you I sense something else." She replied.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're troubled."

"Me? Troubled in heaven?"

Emily looked at him, her head slightly tilted down as if to say: *Don't try to fool me*

"Come on, look around! This is the most beautiful landscape I've ever seen. Only a fool wouldn't be pleased."

"Henry." She said holding up her hand. "Do you think someone who is having the time of their life, er… Afterlife would isolate themselves from everyone else and… not have heavens best ice cream?" She said, only mostly joking about the last part.

Henry didn't have it in him to dance around the truth any longer.

"Fair enough. But I think troubled might be overstating it."

Emily crossed her arms and gave the cutest display of being annoyed Henry had ever seen. Still, making her less happy than her usual bubbly self made Henry's heart sink.

If making others happy makes her happy, then I bet she can feel empathy better than any human.

"I just had a question is all, it's not that big of a deal, I'm sure." Henry said.

Emily perked up. "And then you'll be happy?" she asked with a child-like enthusiasm.

It was exceptionally difficult to be glum around her, Henry cracked a smile and a little laugh at her display of unadulterated excitement. "Yes, I think I'll be happy."

"Well ask away then! What is it?"

"Where is God?" Henry asked.

Emily's expression shifted, contemplating rapidly. One thing was clear, it was not going to be a simple answer.

"Weelll….. God isn't exactly what most people on earth suppose to be true." She gently explained, empathy and care laced into every word as she pressed her pointer fingers together.

"Of course, I'm sure the magnificence of God is too complex for any human to understand."

"That's the thing… heaven kind of…. Sort of…. Deliberately lead humans astray to the concept of God."

"Like God is significantly different than how He is in the Bible?"

Emily grew shiftier and more concerned about how she was presenting this.

"It's that…. He doesn't exist at all. The angels created the universe in their image, but when man defied their will and suffering entered the world, it was difficult to get through to humans. Because humans are divisive, they would have whole wars about whose god was better and miss the whole point, so after a while our leader decided to go down to earth himself. His name was Jesus, that much is true, and he was the most righteous, caring person ever to exist."

"Was?"

"Oh shoot. Yeah, um… Nobody here knows where he is."

"WHAT?" Henry exclaimed, his emotions overwhelming him.

"I'm sure he's fine! The elders believe that after he offered earth a more concrete path to redemption that he descended to the lower rings to defeat the demons that mettled with Earth."

Henry's heart sank as Emily gently explained the truth of Heaven's hierarchy, shattering his belief in the existence of God as he had always known it. "But... if God doesn't exist, then what about all the teachings?" he murmured, his voice trembling with disbelief.

Emily's eyes softened with compassion as she reached out to reassure him. "The teachings of righteousness and virtue remain true, Henry," she explained gently. "But it is not a divine deity who embodies these virtues, but rather Jesus, the most righteous angel sent by heaven to guide and inspire humanity."

Henry struggled to contain the anguish that threatened to consume him, his mind reeling with the implications of Emily's words. The revelation that his faith had been misplaced shook him to his core, leaving him feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty and doubt.

At that moment, Emily reached her arms around Henry and hugged him. If Emily's presence was like a hug, her hugs would be like ten lifetimes of hugs. Every muscle in Henry's body that was tense released, he instinctually reached around to hug her back, careful to avoid her wings. Every emotion he was hiding bubbled to the surface, and he tried desperately to hold it back.

Emily, sensing Henry's emotional state simply said, "It's okay to cry, Henry."

And just like that, the waterworks began. Henry hugged her tightly and began to weep. Emily didn't say a word, she just caressed his back and shushed him softly. Henry's mind was firing thoughts at Mach speed. Every time he'd been hurt, betrayed, or let down on earth was playing through his mind. His memories were playing sequentially, starting from his earliest memories all the way to the end of his life. It didn't occur to him that he didn't know how he died, but now he saw that he was shot and bled out. Henry cried over that as he processed those emotions as well.

After only three minutes, his memory had caught up to the present, and every last tear he had was spent. His muscles were tired from holding Emily so tight, but she is much too strong for him to crush. He loosened his grip, and she loosened him up enough to look at him face to face.

She offered a small smile at him with such a sweet look of compassion. "Do you feel better?"

Henry stared into her eyes for a moment, their brilliance exceeding that of sapphires. He closed his eyes for a moment to process the question. He looked inward. Thinking about how he felt revealed… Just how effective crying with her was. Henry had quite possibly never felt better in his life. Everything felt okay, even his understanding of theology, philosophy, and existence.

Henry exhaled and shook his head slightly, opening his eyes. "I… I don't think I've ever felt better."

Emily put a hand her hand on his face. "Everything is going to be okay, Henry."

Henry felt slightly embarrassed. "I probably look pretty gnarly; I've never cried that hard before." he said, chuckling.

"Why don't you tell me" she said, helping Henry to his feet. She proceeded to the end of the stream, a beautiful lake not twenty paces away concealed by trees, and gestured to the water.

Henry looked into the crystal-clear water, much too clear to see himself in. Emily then waved her hand, and it became as effective as a mirror. Only now did Henry realize that he hadn't even looked at his new body yet. What he saw shocked him:

His face was perfectly symmetrical, and his teeth were as white as pearls. His eyes were green – More green than possible for a human and certainly more colorful than they were on earth. Furthermore, his face had no signs of sorrow on it, no puffy red indicators that he had just been blubbering only moments before. His hair was about as long as he kept it on earth and roughly the same dark brown, only each individual strand was much healthier, and upon feeling it, much softer.

I guess I didn't feel my hair because I don't have to readjust it here.

His frame was quite lithe, and he inspected his arms directly, instead of with the water of the lake. Henry opened his jacket to reveal through his dress shirt that his muscles were well toned without being bulky.

"I can't believe I didn't think to *look* at myself."

Emily had a very wide grin on her face "So not gnarly, right?"

"Ha ha" Henry said in an exaggerated tone. "I guess I should have known better."

"Adjusting to heaven takes more than what, a couple of hours?"

"I guess it hasn't been that long."

"Too long to go without ice cream though." Emily began reverting to her bubbly self.

"You're right. I can't imagine arguing with an actual angel."

"Well let me take you there!" Emily exclaimed, fluttering up and down in her usual excitable way.

Emily glided and Henry walked back to the city, along the way laughing and chatting like they'd known each other their whole lives.