Chapter 32

The medics struggled for three days, trying to stop the infection. But it was to no avail.

They took Obi-Wan's left leg on the fourth day.

„It's not fair," Ahsoka mumbled next to her, making a face, „… he should be getting better… not worse."

Padme hummed and looped her arm around the teenager, pulling her into a hug. „I know, dear," she whispered, her eyes trained on Obi-Wan's still form, „… but he's strong. And we will be there for every single step of the way."

Obi-Wan had only woken up once after the surgery, disoriented and his body still plagued by a low fever. It had been hard to tell him that his leg was gone.

He had taken in that information with this neutral expression she had seen him wear during important negotiations, barely showing any emotion. But Padme knew that there was fear hidden behind that well constructed facade.

She didn't blame him for any of it. She would be terrified if she would be in his position.

Obi-Wan finally stirred on the bed, blinking his eyes open. He looked terribly exhausted, dark bags encircling his reddened eyes.

„Hey," she greeted him gently, catching his attention.

„Padme," he returned, his voice raspy.

She stood up from her chair and took the cup of water from the table next to the jedi's bed. „Do you want to drink something?," she asked, already fiddling with the straw inside the cup.

As Obi-Wan nodded shortly, she carefully took one of his hands and folded it around the cup and guided it towards his mouth, keeping her hold on it.

He took a few gulps, before she took it away again.

„How are you feeling?", Ahsoka then asked, taking up her usual spot next to the bed.

Obi-Wan grunted and turned his head in her direction. „Better… I guess."

„Your fever has broken," supplied Padme, „… we were really worried about you."

She watched how he worked his jaw before answering. „… still alive… sorry." Bitterness laced his voice.

Out of reflex she shook head even though he couldn't see it. „… that's not what I meant."

He closed his eyes. „I know… I'm just exhausted."

Taking one of his hands in hers, she gave it a gentle squeeze. The doctors had finally removed most of the bandages around his upper body, the bacta having done its job. Only the scars remained.

Padme was glad that Obi-Wan didn't have to see them.

„It's okay if you want to sleep. We'll be here."

The words barely left her mouth as his eyes dropped close again.

They spent the next week like that – constantly hovering next to his bed. Luckily his condition finally got better and after ten days confined to the bed the doctors finally deemed him fit enough to start some light physical therapy.

Padme watched with furrowed brows as the therapist gently moved Obi-Wan's remaining leg and the man barely suppressed a pained flinch in response. The woman also immediately noticed her patient's response. Gently she eased the limb back down onto the bed. „How bad is your pain?", she asked gently.

From experience Padme suspected that Obi-Wan would lie about his discomfort. His answer surprised her though.

„Bad," the man choked out, still struggling to catch his breath, „I don't know what's worse… my back, my right leg… or the one that's not even there anymore."

The therapist shot him a sympathetic look and readjusted the blanket over his body. „Then we should continue later today – and I'll see if the doctors could adjust your medication again."

They had tried to lower the dosage to see how Obi-Wan would be doing. Their first try hadn't gone well. Padme would never forget how her friend had tried to keep himself from screaming and struggling to take in the smallest of breaths.

I only ever saw him as a battle-hardened, intelligent jedi. A man who never showed any weaknesses.

But seeing him like this… it rattled something deep inside her.

After the therapist went off to talk with one of the doctors, both Padme and Ahsoka took up their seats again.

„You're frustrated," Ahsoka noted dully, watching her grandmaster sadly.

„How would you feel if you couldn't even get up to use the refresher?", Obi-Wan retorted dryly, his voice still strained.

The padawan lowered her head, nervously picking at the back of her hand. „Not good… I suppose."

Obi-Wan blew out a breath, his gaze softening. „Sorry… I didn't intend to snap at you…," he swallowed, „… how long do you intend to be here? You have a life to go back to, after all…"

„We are not going anywhere, Obi-Wan," interjected Padme.

„Mhmm," the man grumbled under his breath, leaning back against his pillow. There was a layer of sweat on his forehead, another indication that he still wasn't feeling much better.

It was in that moment that Dex finally returned, a few bags of food in his arms. He instantly noticed the tension hanging in the air.

„What's going on?", he asked sharply as he sat the bags down, „Everything okay?"

„Another bad day," Ahsoka supplied simply.

Dex frowned and leaned over the foot end of the bed. „I thought the pain was getting better."

„I don't know…," Obi-Wan replied, hands clasping at his blanket, „Today just feels like someone rammed a knife into my back."

„Sorry, buddy," the Besalisk grimaced, „I think you just need to give yourself time."

„I know…," the jedi sighed, taking a deep breath, „It just feels like I am running in circles."

A soft knock on the door interrupted them and a nurse entered the room. „Ah, good morning," the woman greeted, „Mister Kenobi, your therapist told me the pain has gotten worse again?"

„Yes," Obi-Wan nodded, „I can't really tell where it is coming from though… everything just hurts."

„Okay," the nurse said, „I'd like to check all the surgical sites again. Just to be sure nothing goes amiss there."

She then looked at them. „If you could leave the room for a moment, I would be grateful."

Padme shot Obi-Wan a questioning look, knowing that the man was still anxious around medics. „Are you okay with that? Or should one of us stay here?"

Tension crossed his face and he seemed unsure. "I... if Dex could stay?"

Padme looked up at the man addressed. "Of course," he replied quickly, "If I may."

The nurse smiled and tipped her head. "That's no problem," she agreed, "It shouldn't take long either."

"Okay," Padme and Ahsoka quietly said their goodbyes and left the room, closing the door behind them.

"Do you think everything is all right?" Ahsoka asked uneasily, staring down the hallway, "... I've never seen him like this."

She pulled the girl into a hug. "I should hope so," she murmured, "But I don't know."

The padawan slowly released herself from the embrace. "I've been thinking...," she breathed, "Master Obi-Wan won't be able to return to the Jedi, will he?"

Padme screwed up her face. "I'm afraid not. Not while he's a wanted man."

"Okay...," Ahsoka bit her lips, "I... I think I want to stay with him... There's nothing keeping me with the Jedi anymore."

"You want to leave the Order?" Padme asked, shocked, "Ahsoka, this is not a decision to be made lightly..."

"I know. I know," she stopped, turning towards Obi-Wan's room, "I'm just afraid I'll end up alone again..."

She lost everyone she held dear.

"You should talk to him," Padme suggested, following her gaze.

Ahsoka looked at her urgently. "Do you think Anakin will be... mad?"

"He'll understand," Padme reassured her, "Besides, he'll also face banishment from the Order."

"What will happen to him?"

"I don't know," she told her, "The last time I spoke to him, he seemed restless... But I think he regrets what he did."

"Can you forgive him?" Ahsoka asked, "Because I don't know if I can."

"I feel like… I need to give him a chance," Padme confessed, "Anakin has made mistakes, yes… but I still love him… somewhere. If everyone abandons him he will definitely stray from the right path."

The Togruta watched her with an unreadable expression. "I understand."

Before Padme could say anything, the nurse finally exited the room. "We are done," she announced, "You can go back in."

"Thank you," Padme bowed slightly and re-entered Obi-Wan's room, Ahsoka hot on her heels.

"Everything okay?", the padawan immediately wanted to know, coming to a stop next to the bed.

"No infections," Obi-Wan forced a smile, "So nothing is out of the ordinary."

"But?", Ahsoka quirked up an eyebrow.

"They upped the pain medication again," Dex answered instead, "… his wounds are not healing as they are supposed to."

"You spent two days in a bacta tank. How is that possible?", she mumbled in disbelief.

Obi-Wan wordlessly tapped the all-too-present collar around his neck.

"The Force," Ahsoka finally understood, "That's why you're not healing."

"And being cut off from the Force for a long time can make you sick," Dex added solemnly, "… we need to get that damn thing off."

Scoffing, Obi-Wan shook his head. "There is no way a Mandalorian is willing to help me… not after everything that happened."

"What about Satine's sister?", Padme threw in, "Bo-Katan. She knew you and Satine were close."

A sad expression crept onto her friend's face. "No. She- she won't even look at me."

"Obi-Wan, you are not to blame for…"

"Let's not talk about that," he interrupted her with a stern voice.

"Then what?", Ahsoka snapped irritated, "We can't just let you die."

Obi-Wan genuinely looked taken aback. "Ahsoka, I am not dying…"

The padawan stared him down, even though it had no effect on him. "But you are not getting better either… ," her voice was barely more than a whisper, "I can't loose you too."

Before anyone could react, she was up on her feet and stormed out of the room.

"Ahsoka!," called Obi-Wan, desperately trying to get up but only succeeded in almost falling off the bed.

Dex luckily caught the man just in time before his head could hit the tiled floor. "Hey, it's okay… she'll come back," he soothed as he helped him back up, mindful of his injuries.

Fear was written on the jedi's face. "I don't know what to do," he rasped, "I- I swear Bo-Katan will have my head when she sees me again."

"Okay, calm down…," Padme took hold of his arm and helped him lie back again, "We'll find a way."

A tremor shook Obi-Wan's body and a single tear slipped from his milky eyes. "I can't do this…"