A/N: Can anyone see this?

Tests are back, and I'm cancer free! That's one less thing to worry about.

Alas, site notifications appear to be on the fritz for the website once again; do let me know if you can see this!

I'm fully prepared to post ANOTHER chapter early tomorrow morning if this chapter gets good feedback. Here's hoping. I had to cut THOUSANDS of words for this chapter for fear of doing a rush job this time around. Then again, I can also wait another week. So to put it bluntly...

I await your command.

RWBY may have been canned by Warner Bros, but we fanfiction writers are out here trying to keep the light alive, as it were. So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're tributes to legends far greater than little 'ol me.

Last but not least, the names of all but one of the Mistral Huntsmen and Huntresses you'll soon see in the upcoming chapters -and there are a LOT!- can be found in RWBY Volume Five. Ergo, they're cannon. You have no idea the amount of work I had to pour through to find all those names. I believe most of them were in episode Six of that volume, but I re-watched all of Volume Five to be sure. Didn't have much to work with, but I wanted to avoid adding too many OC's to this story.

Many of these Hunters had a chance to live with Leonardo being slain well ahead of his time; less lives thrown to the slaughter and the like.

Names aside, I had to create their appearances, weapons, personalities and teams, which was why this chapter took so long.

Some, like Heather Shields and Shiro Wan were easy to work with. Others...required more of an effort.

Hazbin Hotel references are for entertainment, tributes, and tastefully done.

Including THAT scene. You all know the one.

Now...let's begin~!

"Come one, come all, to Haven Academy! All may apply within! Welcome home!"

~You Know Who.

Hire the Girls

Haven needed help.

It was a painful fact; one Naruto wasn't proud to admit. For all their resources, and despite him holding a seat on the Council of Mistral -as every Headmaster before him had!- all the lien in the world couldn't substitute a proper mentor. Certainly he could be in multiple places at once, disguise himself as nearly anyone he knew, and move with both incredible strength and speed, but even he had his limits. Teach children to kill Grimm and become badass Huntresses and Huntresses? That he could do. As to the rest...

.

..

...at the end of the day, he and Vanessa were only two people. Even together, they couldn't run Haven alone, much less provide an entirely fresh perspective for every subject and curriculum. Willow's generous donations courtesy of the SDC ensured they weren't lacking for funds, but it was a matter of using said funds to not only fortify and enhance Haven, but acquire the right personnel for her.

The former had been easy; it was the latter that proved difficult.

He was loathe to take any teachers from Sanctum -one of the few places Lionheart hadn't sank his claws into- for that matter either, seeing as it served as a preparatory school for Haven itself. On that same front, he didn't entirely trust Malachite to teach impressionable young youths; she had an underworld to run, the better to keep the gangs from his throat.

Ann Ren, while quite capable of killing and wise in her own ways, couldn't simply become a teacher overnight, no matter how much she might want to. They were working on that.

Likewise, Willow couldn't do it for obvious reasons and Raven...yeah, no. She might not be wanted in Mistral anymore, but he wasn't about to parade her around where Ozpin could see her. Not without a proper disguise. I It was difficult enough convincing her to wear a wig when she went out, much less a contact for her remaining eye. Teaching impressionable brats when she was raising one of her own? Nope! Nuh-uh! Not happening! She would chew those kids up and spit them out.

Which brought him back to square one. Vanessa had combat classes covered and while he could step in when need be, there were still gaps to be filled.

Naturally, when the fiery vixen recommended several applicants, he jumped on that, thinking it a good idea.

Or so he'd thought at the time.

Now...?

A muscle jumped in his jaw. "Vanessa...

"Yeeees?" she stifled a yawn with the back of her palm and flicked a weary look his way, just as tired as he.

"How many have we gone through today?"

"Seven, I believe." she checked her clipboard and looked back to the door. "That last one was a disaster. Little more than a brute, really."

Naruto's skull struck his desk with a dull thud.

He wouldn't anything hire anyone short of the best; and he didn't want any of Ozpin's spies in here. Or gods forbid, Salem. He'd allowed open admissions and applications for Haven, flying in the face of tradition, meaning that just about anyone could apply, but that meant vetting both potential students and teachers himself.

This wasn't something he could entrust to a shadow clone; he had to be certain. They'd already turned away at least three people with ill intent today. He already had a squad of disguised clones waiting in the wings to hunt down anyone who seemed suspicious. He'd squeeze answers out of them, one way or another.

"There, there." Vanessa kissed the back of his neck, perking him up. "Only a few more to go, then we're done for the day." Her lips ghosted over his ear, then his cheek now, lingering at the edge of his mouth, a soft caress to stir his attention once more. "I can think of just the thing to help us relax once we're done...

He hummed. "I like the sound of that."

She hummed. "I thought you might. You'll forgive me for indulging myself a little early, then."

Quick as her namesake, Pyrra's mother planted herself in his lap and pinned him down to the chair. He was suddenly inordinately glad they'd seen fit to locked the door after each interview, because she saw fit to kiss him full on the lips, tongue lingering over his own, head tilting as she sought a better angle. He planted his hands on her hips, not to push her away as he'd done once before, but to draw her in. She made a pleased noise and entwined one leg with his, leaning into him fully.

He wasn't sure how much time passed after that. Seconds? Minutes? Eventually, he remembered where they were; and the need to be.

"So," his secretary drew away, face flushed redder than her hair, "The Vytal Festival is coming to Haven in three years...

Aha. That was her angle. Clever girl. Naruto's right ear twitched. "Is that so?"

Green eyes met blue. "Do we plan to win it?"

Not you. We. He noticed the distinction.

"I'd like to, but," He considered the matter for a moment. It would send a strong message. Three years. That might be enough to whip up a few strong teams. "Do we have any promising candidates?"

"Lets see," she drew back -still in his lap!- and considered her clipboard, thumbing to another sheet therein. "We have Shiro Wan's team, Heather Shields, and Nova Carillo. Those three teams show the most promise. I can have them called up here straight away...

"Yes! Let's do that!"

...after we finish these interviews." She climbed out of his lap, leaving him high and dry.

Wicked, wicked temptress...

"Bah!" He planted both elbows on his desk and buried his head in his hands to stifle a sigh. "Can't we just hand the rest of them over to Raven and be done for the day? It'd be easier than this...

Vanessa hummed. "As entertaining as that would be, we'd be violating a few labor laws, so no." She looked to the door, tapped her clipboard and raised her voice. "Next!"

"Hold your horses, I'm coming...

The door creaked open and a newcomer limped into his office with an annoyed tut, her once proud back slightly stooped with age. She wasn't much to look at given a glance; an old crone wrapped in blue robes, clutching at a short cane, yet-not-quite leaning on it. Her dusky skin was wrinkled with weary, her dark-hair streaked through with grey, and where here eyes should be..

.

..

...what in blazes was that contraption on her face? Mechanical eyes of some sort? An artificial replacement for what she no longer had? They must be. She'd lost her original eyes then. The wound must be old, so much so that he didn't think even he could hope to heal it...or could he?

"Don't even think about it." Kurama snapped at him. "If you couldn't restore Raven's eye, you won't be able to heal this. Unless you intend to tear open her wound again?"

...no. He wouldn't inflict that sort of pain on anyone.

Best to let it be, then.

Nevertheless, he let his gaze roam back to the not-quite-old woman. In about sixteen years or so she would doubtlessly be hunched even further, shrunken and shriveled, forced to rely upon that cane of hers entirely, but she still had some life to her; a spark that, while he couldn't glimpse it in her false eyes, he could see in the spring of her step. She was pretending to be older than she was perhaps, but she wasn't senile, not yet. A flicker of sympathy stirred within his heart.

Said sympathy died the moment the old biddy opened her mouth. "Who's the strawberry pimp?"

Several things happened at once.

Naruto fell clean out his chair!

Kurama guffawed openly.

Dimly he became aware of Vanessa's full-throated laughter. "Oh, I like you! And you are...?"

The impudent interloper sketched a bow made slightly stiff by age. "Maria Calavera, at your service."

"Calavera?" her smile thinned, taking the laughter with it. "You've got some nerve assuming the mantle of the Grimm Reaper."

"I would hope so, girl." the woman planted both hands on her "cane" and stood a little taller. "She's me."

Green eyes flicked her up and down, assessing her. "You're supposed to be dead."

Her grin gleamed anew. "Reports of my death were greatly...exaggerated."

Naruto righted himself with a contemplative expression, his anger momentarily quelled. The Grimm Reaper. He'd heard the stories of her. She was a legend in Mistral. Vanessa was a fan of her work; a massive fan. She'd even considered styling her weapons after her once upon a time. Which begged the question:

"And you're here because...?"

She looked to him. "I heard there was a bit of a shakeup in Haven on the radio; that someone gave old Leonardo the boot." her artificial eyes flicked up and down the length of him, cold as the mountaintops of Atlas. "I came to see them my own eyes, and maybe offer my assistance, if they're worth my time."

Her telltale tone said what her words couldn't...or wouldn't: "I am not impressed."

Naruto inhaled deeply. Ah, the joy of being underestimated. He'd never forget...or forgive it.

Standing fully, he conjured his staff to his right hand. "Can you even see me with that gizmo of yours?"

"Excuse me?" now it was her turn to be irritated. "And who are you, precisely? The bellhop? I came to speak to the new Headmaster of this academy, not the hired help."

She was actually doing this. Testing him; trying to rile him up. Did she have a death wish?

Vanessa palmed her face behind him. "Oh, dear...

"You're in luck, then." Naruto plastered a smile to his face as he circled round his desk to loom over Maria. "I just so happen to be the headmaster of this fine establishment. Naruto Uzumaki, at your service." he stooped over and offered her his hand, meeting her challenge with one of his own, daring to accept the difference in height. "You might have heard of me from my broadcast a few months back."

"Hmm...nope!" Maria flashed an impish grin up at him in return, feigning ignorance as she pointedly refused to take his hand. "Must've slipped my mind. I'm old you see, and I tend to forget boisterous boys like you rather easily."

Kurama whistled. "I like this one! She's got a sharp tongue. Can we keep her?"

Naruto twitched. This bitch! She almost made him want to break out the switch-no, don't sink to her level.

"Hahaha! Funny you should mention that," he retracted his hand, smile splitting his face as he laughed boisterously. "I have a tendency to forget senile old hags."

"Ahahaha!" Maria tittered right back at him with a peal of sweet, saccharine laughter. "Well, that wasn't very clever!"

"HA HA!" Naruto thrust his forehead against hers, teeth bared in a savage sneer to match her own. "Fuck you."

"Alright!" Vanessa pushed between them before they could come to blows. "Lets not fight-

"I disagree." Maria smacked Nikos' knee with her cane-like-weapon, forcing her to withdraw with a wince. "A fight sounds like an excellent idea. I don't trust anyone who can't handle themselves in a proper bout. This one could be nothing but talk for all I know!"

Crazy old lady say what now?

Naruto's smile faltered momentarily, taking his anger with it. "You must be joking."

"I may be old, but I've still got some fight left in these bones of mine." the old crone rapped his chest with her weapon and stood to her full height; for a moment, he glimpsed the shadow of the woman she once was. "You want teachers for those precious students of yours? Show me you're worthy of following, right here, right now, and you'll find no better mentor this side of Mistral."

He drew himself up, still smiling, but not nearly so furiously. "You do realize you'll lose."

"So certain." she took the beads of her necklace between the fingers of her her free hand and began to toy with them, humming softly as she did. "I envy your youth." plucking one, she took it between her thumb and her index finger, then began to squeeze. "I was like you, once. Brave, foolhardy. So certain I could take on Remnant and make it mine...until I realized I couldn't." without warning, the bead cracked between her fingers and her half-lidded gaze fixed upon him. "Is that what you are, boy? Just another egomaniac?"

His pride bridled, stung by the insinuation. "I don't want to rule the world."

Maria tilted her head and blinked once. "To burn it, then?"

Did she truly think so little of him?

"Not at all." he relished the brief look of uncertainty that flitted across her face when he said those words. "I just want to protect my loved ones." Behind him, Vanessa stood a little straighter with a red face, no doubt delighted to be counted among that number. "To that end, there's nothing I won't do to keep them safe; I'd carry the world on shoulders or bring it crashing down. Let the people call me a Smiling Devil or the Monster of Mistral, I don't care. That's the reason I became Headmaster in the first place.

"A family man, then." Maria's cane clicked open to reveal and belatedly, he realized she was holding a half scythe, much to his delight. "Interesting. I hadn't thought you the type."

"That's enough!" Here at last, Vanessa piped up in his defense. "You don't know the first thing about him!"

...fair enough." The former Reaper granted her a grin as grim as her namesake. "Show me."

He looked to her weapon. "Shouldn't you have two of those?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I lost the other awhile back."

Well! That was no fun at all. "I'll see to it that you get another one once we're finished here."

"Aren't you generous?" The wrinkled reaper scoffed, not believing him for a moment. "How kind of you."

A petulant thorn of pity pricked at his heart again. Angry as he was, he didn't really relish the idea of beating up an old biddy past her prime-even if she was being a bit of a bitch to him. He didn't consider her an enemy despite all that. Annoying? Possibly. Able to get under his skin? Conceivably? But a potential ally? That much was for certain.

"Softy."

'Bah, hush-up.'

...here." he clamped a hand on Maria's shoulder and flooded her aging body with a small smidgen of Kurama's healing chakra. "To make things more fair."

"Oh!" She perked up with a startled squeak, standing ramrod straight. "That feels...quite nice, actually. Is that your semblance?"

Vanessa hummed into a hand. "...of a sort."

Speaking of semblances, he might actually have one worth discovering here. He'd spent so much time in the world of Remnant already; enough to both uncover and unlock his aura. Surely a semblance couldn't be far behind. Hopefully it would be useful...or not destructive at the very least. He had enough problems without his soul potentially backfiring on him.

"Marvelous!" Maria bounded back on the balls of her feet, hopped up on her heels for good measure, then performed a nimble little flip for good measure, the sight of which moved him from his maudlin musings. Was it his imagination or did she seem a bit brighter somehow; maybe even a little taller? Nah, probably imagining it...

"I haven't felt this spry in ages! C'mon then, sonny!" she whirled to face him, grinning from ear to ear. "Lets see what you've got. No need to make this a fancy match. Beat me, and I'll gladly work for you-ack?!"

She was still speaking when Naruto stepped in, swept her feet with his staff, knocked her to the ground, and drove his weapon into her throat to mute her. Her glib retort was summarily silenced with a squawk as he gave said staff the faintest push against her windpipe, keeping it there.

A blond brow rose. "Satisfied?

"Quick bugger." she grasped the staff with her free hand and croaked up at him. "Didn't even give me a chance to use my semblance-owowow!" a yelp loosed from her lips when he redoubled the pressure. "You've made your point. I give! Don't you know its rude to harass your elders like this?!"

He let her up and offered her his hand. This time, she accepted it.

"Right, then." the aged warrior brushed off her dress with a huff. "I suppose that'll do." Craning her neck, she granted a vengeful Vanessa the smallest of smiles. "You've chosen an interesting partner this time around, my dear. Why, he rather reminds me of-

"Ah!" the redhead lurched forward in a blind panic, covered her mouth with one hand, and spun her right round to face away from him. "Why don't I show you around the campus and introduce you to the students?" she cast a quick, panicked look over her shoulder his way. "I trust you can handle the next few interviews yourself, headmaster?"

Naruto tilted his head, quite flummoxed. "...I suppose?"

"Grand!" She delivered a quick peck to his cheek. "I'll see you later tonight."

Before he could even think to ask what in blazes was going on, she ushered Maria out the room and through the doors in a swirl of silk. He watched her go, scratching the back of his head. What had inspired that sudden flash of panic in her? Thoughts for later he supposed. Shaking his head, he returned to his desk, righted the chair he'd fallen out of, adjusted his coat and settled in once more.

Well, might as well make this quick. He had plans to make. And festivals to win.

"Next!"

The doors opened yet again, not to admit an irate old crone like Maria, but rather her polar opposite. He found himself face to face with a tall, slender fellow wearing black trousers, shoulders clad in a deep green cloak and there atop his head, what he could've only assume was a cowboy hat of some sort. Beneath its brim he glimpsed dark hair, piercing brown eyes, a strong jawline and...

"Are those scales?" he leaned forward, intrigued. "On your face?"

The man planted a fist on his hip, and idly, he noted the reed between his teeth. "You got a problem with yer fellow Faunus?"

Huh. Nice accent. Wait, he'd said fellow...? Oh, right, his whiskered cheeks. Tended to forget about those; might as well use that!

"Not at all," it was all too easy to spread his arms slip back into his headmaster persona. "I was just trying to guess which one you were."

"Don't bother." the newcomer tipped his hat, revealing yet more patched of hardened black scales along the length of face. "Ought be obvious."

Some kind of lizard faunus, then. Fine by him. He didn't judge. "And you are?"

"Flynn Pickerel." The huntsman inclined his head. "At your service."

He looked to Vanessa's clipboard, generously left behind in her wake. "Quite the distinguished career you have, here. Why give that up to be a teacher?"

The huntsman shrugged one shoulder. "Work's been runnin' a bit thin as of late, and I ain't getting any younger."

Curious. He didn't sense an iota of ill intent from him, and yet...? "You seem quite skilled."

A grave nod was his reward. "I'm a tracker by trade."

"So I've heard." He considered the dossier before him. "It says here that you're skilled with multiple weapons." Idly, he took note of the bandoleer around the man's torso, and not all of them for ammo. "Jack of all trades, master of none, is that it?"

"Master of some. His eyes sparked defensively; good, he had some pride. "Whats it to you?"

His head tilted. "A rogue, then?

"In a sense."

Good. "And you consider yourself skilled."

"Very." there was no arrogance to those words, only simple truth. "Been hunting the wilds ever since I graduated." he touched a hand to his eye, and belatedly he realized those weren't scales thee, but a scar. "Only one quarry ever managed to wound me."

"But you survived."

Flynn smiled. It was not a nice smile. "Rage is a hell of an anesthetic."

"So it is. And your semblance?" He considered the dossier anew, only to frown. "Its not listed here."

The faunus' face closed down on him. "Beggin' your pardon, but that's a card prefer to keep that close to my chest.

"Fair enough. You're hired."

That got a blink out of the marksman. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." he rose from his chair, circled around the desk, and stood before him. "I consider these students my children, and like any good parent, I want them protected. They're all in dire need of survival skills. You seem to have those in spades."

Pickerel considered him for a long moment. His good eye flicked back up to him. "Permission to speak freely?"

Naruto waved him on. "Granted."

"I'm here because Vanessa vouched for you.

Unsurprising; he'd figured as much. A blond brow rose. "Did she now?"

"She did," the grizzled old ranger nodded. "She's a crazy bitch. I hope you know that."

He snorted. "Accurate."

"And you're a damn scary bastard.

He leaned back a little. "You have no idea."

The huntsman shook his head with a bitter chuckle. "Oh no, I've got an inkling. But I've hunted people like you before; buggers that start out good, then go bad. You be good to her, you hear? That gal's gone through hell and high water after what happened to Alexander and her team."

Alexande? Was that the name of her dead husband?

His intincts kicked up at that. "I'd sooner die than hurt her."

"Good," because if you do, I'll put a bullet right between your eyes.

His smile returned tenfold. "Flynn, was it? We're going to get along splendidly. Shake my hand and we'll seal the deal...

Flynn was a man of his word and did just that.

Right until the doors crashed open!

Flynn sputtered. "What in tarnation...?!

Naruto whirled with him, anxiety flaring, fading now as a colorful girl clad in robes of bright gold and russet-red sauntered into the room. The woman tilted her head and grinned up at him, revealing bright blue eyes and a selfsure smile framed by a long of curtain of curly amber-orange hair.

"Oi, you." she thrust a finger his way. "Anyone can apply to be a teacher, right? And it don't cost nothin'?"

"Quite so!" Naruto whirled, steadfast smile in easily reapplied. "Who might you be?"

She beamed. "Consider me an...interested party. Does this gig pay well?"

"Indeed it does. "And you are?"

Evidently, it was the question she'd been waiting for.

The newcomer brandished her lance and flashed him a cheery wink. "Anora Valkyrie, at your service~!

A/N: And so comes Nora's mother.

We'll cut it there for today. Would you like an update tomorrow? More family moments with everyone are coming up soon, don't you worry~!

To clarify, Pickerel is an actual canon hunstman. This absolute beast took down Tyrian -before the latter served Salem- in canon RWBY. We never get his appearance or his first name, only an abbreviation that started with the letter F. Canonically, Tyrian killed him after escaping, but here, he survived, albeit with a nasty scar.

Its rather fun creating Huntsmen and Huntresses using canon names. So much room for imagination!

Now, then what say you? Would you prefer another timeskip next chapter? Or should we keep the current pace going? Really need to hear from you here. RWBY may have been canned by Warner Bros. but we fanfiction writers are out here trying to keep the light alive, as it were. So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others.

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter!

That's no joke! I can't write without feedback. Guess that makes me weak...T_T

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Potential ones at that.

Also, references.

(Previews)

"Yang," Weiss slapped a palm to her face. "You are a horrible sibling and I love you."

"Better than Winter?"

"I'm not saying that within earshot."


"I wanna fight!"

Naruto rolled over on the couch with a sigh. "Lets not. I'm sleepy.

"Fine. Reeeeeen! Help me tackle Dad!"

A soft sigh was his only warning before the little gremlins jumped him.


Naruto's head snapped to the side, a sole grunt of pain her only reward.

Bemused blue eyes blazed a baleful red. "You call that a punch?"

Little Yang gulped. "Aw, crapbaskets...


Phone call for you, headmaster.

My thanks. He set it to his ear and smiled. Naruto speaking?

...you don't know me, but I know you. The signal was grainy; the figure almost indistinct. Pity his eyes were sharper than most.

Who you are is immaterial to me; you're even less entertaining than dry cereal.

"You think this is a joke?!" The man on the other end -Watts!- sputtered spectacularly, black mustache bristling like some great hungry caterpillar. "I'll show you suffering-

The image on the other end crackled; he sneered at it. "Oh, no! Your signal is buffering!"

"I'll destroy you! You little-

The scroll winked out.

"I'm afraid you've lost your signal.

He closed down his scroll, pushed back his chair, and began to hum under his breath.

"Let's begin...


Qrow kept drinking. It kept the pain away.

Fuck Mistral. It took his sister and his niece. Whole damn place could burn for all he cared.

If there WAS a Maiden in Mistral, she was doing a damn good job at keeping her head down. Better than the other ones-

"Watchoutwatchoutwatchouuut~!"

Buzzed or no, Qrow still had a Hunters instinct; he heard the vice and stepped aside with seamless grace; dodged a tiny flash of long, tawny blond hair, watched it kick off a nearby wall and keep running. Lively lilac eyes flashed over her shoulder as she grinned back at him, never once pausing.

"Sorry!" her voice trailed after as she hurtled around the alley and out of sight.

"Bah. Cute kid. He ignored the girl's halfhearted apology and drank deeply from his flask. "Seems familiar...

Blond hair. Lilac eyes. A lively energetic blond girl who was the spitting image of...

Realization clicked. Red eyes bulged.

Booze sprayed the wall.

"Waitaminute!"

EDIT: Hey, thanks for reading!

Feels good to write another chapter for this. Hope you enjoyed it!

So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter!

Hope you have a great day~!

R&R~!