A/N I seem to get new fic ideas around the holidays. I got the idea for this over a year ago when visiting my sister for Christmas while I had a brief Sly Cooper obsession. This was a problem because I didn't have a laptop with me to type it out while on vacation and having a story you're itching to tell but no way to write it down is frustrating. I got a good chunk done, but never finished it. I don't know if I will finish it anytime soon, but I figured I had enough to post what I have.
Chapter 1 The Daily Grind
Ever feel like something's missing in your life? Yeah, that's me in a nutshell. At least I know what's gone.
My memories.
Of course, that's a pretty big thing to be missing.
Any information about my past, my family, any friends I had before… gone. Complete blank.
All I know is some cold hard facts. I know I was orphaned when I was young until I aged out of the system, somehow got through the police academy, and climbed the ranks until I eventually became a constable for Interpol.
Constable Sly Cooper, that's me.
Or, at least, that's what it says in my file… It's a pretty bare-bones file. Guess my life up to this point was pretty boring.
At least even without my memories there's one thing I can count on. My amazing partner, Inspector Carmelita Fox.
She's been a great help ever since I woke up not knowing who I was. Helped me get to a doctor for my injuries, found me a good therapist for my memories, and even took care of all the paperwork while I was in the hospital
Thank goodness, I hate paperwork enough when my head is screwed on right. I can't imagine how much torture it would be to do with a concussion.
But Carmelita handled it. She's been giving me so much support and was with me every step of the way as I try to put my life back together. A life I'm pretty sure she's the love of.
So here I am, Constable Cooper, about to bust another case with the greatest partner in the world.
Life may not be perfect, but it was still pretty good.
Standing outside an old nondescript warehouse, Constable Sly Cooper stood with his shock pistol at the ready. Across from him, Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox had hers in her hands as well. "Ready?" she whispered.
Sly nodded in agreement, his eyes narrowed in determination.
With that confirmation, Carmelita kicked the door in, with a shout of, "Interpol! Freeze!"
To their credit, all the weapons dealers in the warehouse did freeze at her words.
For about five seconds.
Then the weapons dealers all grabbed their weapons and started firing.
Unphased, Carmelita darted behind some crates and returned fire, and it was clear her aim was far better than theirs. Weapons dealers began slumping over, stunned.
With all the attention focused on Carmelita, none of the dealers were expecting more shots to rain down at them from above.
High up on a catwalk, Sly smirked as his shock pistol picked off the weapons dealers at the back of the warehouse that were trying to escape before long all the soon-to-be arrested criminals were unconscious on the ground.
Carmelita stepped out from behind her cover and glanced up at him. "How did you even get up there?" she asked.
Sly shrugged back down at her. "There was an easily climbable pipe outside. I couldn't resist."
Carmelita arched an eyebrow and leaned back out the door to take a look at the pipe in question. It was rusted, rickety, and looked ready to fall off the building. She clearly couldn't even imagine touching it, much less climbing it.
"Troublesome Ringtail," she muttered to herself, but her tone was fond as she turned back to her partner again.
Sly was still smirking as he let himself drop down from the catwalk to meet her. "But you love me anyway," he said with a grin.
Carmelita gave him her own smirk and leaned up to give him a peck on the lips. "What do you think?"
Sly's smile immediately turned dopey, and he was so distracted he almost didn't hear the movement behind him.
Almost.
The faint sound behind him had Sly tackling Carmelita to the ground, just barely avoiding the bullet that shot over their heads.
Immediately, the partners returned fire, but whoever had shot at them was already out the door.
"Get back here, Criminal!" Carmelita shouted as she took off after them, with Sly at her heels.
The fox and the raccoon burst out of the back of the warehouse and looked around, but it was clear whoever it was had already escaped.
"Well, that's one less arrest tonight," Sly muttered, searching the alleyway and even looking up towards the rooftops with no sign of their assailant (he didn't know why he always made sure to look up, but he always did).
"We'll catch them eventually," said Carmelita, turning to go back into the warehouse and begin cuffing the other crooks. "We always do."
"Yeah," said Sly, pulling out his own sets of handcuffs. "Still, gotta wonder who it was." He then glanced over from the squirrel he was cuffing to the futuristic-looking gun he'd been peddling. "Sure hope it wasn't whoever made these things. Someone's been watching too much sci-fi"
Carmelita snorted. "Sci-fi or not, they're illegal. And these crooks will be put away for a long time for selling them."
"And for shooting them at us," added Sly.
"That too," said Carmelita in agreement as she cuffed the last one. "Now we just need the warrant to-" she trailed off when she must have seen something on Sly's face.
Her eyes then narrowed in suspicion. "Sly," she said slowly.
Sly tried his best to avoid her gaze. "Uh, yeah?" he asked as he busied himself checking everyone was handcuffed properly.
"We do have a warrant to be here, don't we?" Carmelita asked slowly, her tail flicking in irritation.
Sly was quiet for a little too long before, giving her a nervous grin. "I saw them carrying the shipments in, so we have probable cause."
"ARGH!" Carmelita let out a wordless noise of frustration upon hearing that and slapped her forehead. "COOPER!"
"There wasn't time for a warrant!" Sly protested. "You know there wasn't. By the time the judge signed it, these weapons would be halfway 'round the world, and we'd never find them or these mooks ever again. Who knows who would have been hurt by then."
"There are laws for a reason, Sly," said the fox.
"What good are laws if people get hurt while we follow them?" the raccoon shot back, falling into what was now a familiar argument.
Carmelita pressed her hands together as if praying for patience as she took in a deep breath and let it out. "Sly," she said in a sharp, no-nonsense tone, having given this lecture countless times before. "I understand you are trying to do the right thing, but we are officers of the law. You have to do the right thing the right way, otherwise we are no better than these criminals."
"I think there's a slight difference between them smuggling illegal weapons and us taking them down," said Sly sarcastically.
But Carmelita was unswayed. "The law is there for a reason," she said again firmly.
Sly sighed, knowing that was the end of the argument he would never win. "Fine," he said. "I'll take the fall for any problems. Worth it to get these guys off the streets."
Carmelita's expression thawed at that, pecked him on the cheek, and said, "We'll see if you still think that after Barkley gets ahold of you."
Hearing that Sly winced. Director Barkley did not like him. This was going to be painful.
Four Months Later…
"Put me out of my misery," Sly groaned as he slumped over.
He'd been right, it was painful.
When Barkley learned of how he'd bent the rules, he'd blown a gasket. It was only the multiple arrests and that Sly was right about probable cause that saved his job, but despite that he'd still put Sly on desk duty.
For! Six! Months!
It was cruel and unusual punishment if you asked Sly. Especially when to add insult to injury, Carmelita was being sent off on cases to all the fun places while he was stuck in the office.
He glanced at his phone and a selfie Carmelita had sent him from Guam. They never assigned him a case in Guam.
He still saved the smiling picture of her lounging on a beach as his lock screen.
As he did that, a stack of files taller than him was dropped onto his desk. "This all needs to be done by Friday," said the goose who put them there.
Sly looked at the stack of files, then back at the goose. "But it's Thursday."
"Then you better get to work," the goose said, before turning and walking away without a backward glance.
As he left, a few other coworkers around them snickered at Sly's misfortune, and made no offers to help.
Ever get the feeling your coworkers didn't like you? Sly had that feeling nearly constantly. As it stood, Carmelita seemed to be the only one in Interpole who could even stand him.
It always made him wonder just what he'd done to make them hate him in the past, but whenever he tried to ask, the dirty looks promptly increased and the subject was quickly changed.
Six months at his desk and having to endure his coworkers' hostility only added to the punishment.
Sly sighed. Catching bad guys was great and he didn't regret a minute of it, but sometimes he really hated his job. It was suffocating in a lot of ways.
Feeling like he'd combust if he even looked at any more paperwork, Sly glanced around if anyone was looking at him before closing his case file and pulling up a private chat room on his phone instead.
Time to take a break.
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Hey, Spex, Pinkie, you online?
:Spex_Guy
Present
:PinkTornado
Hi! :D
Sly grinned and cast around one last cautious glance to make sure no one saw him shirking his work.
Still, even if they did, he could always claim his therapist mandated it.
It had been lonely after he'd lost his memory. He had Carmelita, of course, but apparently, they had never talked about their lives outside of work before, so she wasn't able to get him in contact with any of his old friends, and none of them seemed to have tried to contact him either.
Or maybe he just didn't have friends before. Now that was a sad thought.
Either way, he'd been surprised when his therapist emailed him out of the blue (Dr. Gray almost never emailed) with a possible solution. An anonymous group chat with her other patients.
He'd been skeptical at first, but surprisingly, he had hit it off instantly with Spex_Guy and PinkTornado. Even if he'd never met them or even knew their real names, he still felt like they were some of the best friends he had.
:Spex_Guy
Aren't you supposed to be at work right now?
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Im on break from my nose to the grindstone. Has it been 6 months yet?
:PinkTornado
Uh I think its only 4
:Spex_Guy
Four months and 5 days to be exact.
One month and 25 days left to go.
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Kill me now BP
:Spex_Guy
What did you even do to be on probation for so long?
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Classified ;)
:PinkTornado
Really? Cool!
:Spex_Guy
You know, sometimes I wonder if everything you say is classified is ACTUALLY classified
Or if you just like saying everything you do is classified because it sounds cooler that way.
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Why Spex, I'm hurt. Would I ever do a thing like that?
:Spex_Guy
Yes.
:PinkTornado
Yes
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Et tu, Pinkie.
:PinkTornado
Sorry ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Ah, I can't stay mad at you.
:PinkTornado
:D
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Anyway, Hey Spex how's Air_Heart_Babe Doing?
:PinkTornado
Yeah, how is she? You said shed been upset lately.
:Spex_Guy
She seems happier recently. I think she found a new project to work on.
Although, hmm…
:PinkTornado
Hmm?
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Hmm?
:Spex_Guy
It just occurred to me I hadn't seen her in a few hours.
She said she was going out to get some parts, but I guess she got distracted at the store.
:PinkTornado
Happens to me all the time
Especially at the donut shop
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Donuts ARE very distracting.
:PinkTornado
Right!
:Spex_Guy
Speaking of distracting, you're using us to avoid work, aren't you?
You'veBeenStruckBy:
Me? Why I never.
:Spex_Guy
Right.
Well, I guess you're gonna have to find something else to 'not' distract you.
I need to go cal my girlfriend and see when she'll be home.
*call
:PinkTornado
And I'm gonna go out and get some donuts. I've got a craving all of a sudden.
You'veBeenStruckBy:
NOOOoooo! Don't leave me!
Spex_Guy has logged off
:PinkTornado
Bye!
PinkTornado has logged off
Sly sighed as he closed the chat. Well, that had been fun while it lasted. Guess he better get started on that paperwork.
He stood on his desk chair to reach the top file, but just as his fingers closed around it, he let out a strangled choking sound, and the stack of files scattered to the floor.
"Hey, what's the big idea?" demanded a passing koala, as the papers nearly fell on her, but Sly barely heard her.
All of a sudden, an incredible pain had punched right through his chest. It felt like someone had just shoved a poker that was both freezing-cold and burning-hot straight through him, making him quake as if given an electric shock.
The angry koala's expression quickly turned to alarm as Sly Cooper suddenly fell off the chair and collapsed at her feet in a dead faint.
The ambulance was called only moments later.
A/N I got the idea for this when replaying Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time and wondered what would happen if Sly really had lost his memories at the end of Sly 3. If he had, how would he feel about Carmelita lying to him about his whole life, and if Le Paradox meddling with Sly's family tree had more direct consequences for his bloodline than just rewriting some books and faking some documents? And how would Sly deal with re-learning how to be a thief and coming to appreciate his family history in a new light? Not to mention how he would come to reconnect with Bently and Murray. It was an idea I had to write, and while I probably won't finish for a good long while, I like what I wrote. I've got 15 chapters done, so stay tuned.
I'm posting another fic as well, so I'll probably one a week, and which one I update will alternate.
Check out my Tumblr and AO3, it's the same username.
