A/N: Upon receiving a request on Tumblr, rewatching 7x06 (The Time of Our Lives) too many times, and a revived interest in inserting Castle and Beckett into the film, 13 Going on 30, this story blossomed to life. Thank you to any and all who still take the time to invest in my love of writing these characters. I hope you enjoy this little mess of a story as much as I enjoyed writing it.


"I knew you tried to change the ending
Peter losing Wendy,
I knew you,
Leaving like a father, running like water,
And when you are young, they assume you know nothing,
"

"You said you were gonna grow up,
Then you were gonna come find me,
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises, oceans deep,
But never to keep"

"And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some

Invisible string tying you to me?"

- cardigan / Peter / invisible string - Taylor Swift


The shadowy figure haunts his thoughts like the woods, lingering in the back of his mind throughout the day and thriving in nightmares once the boy closes his eyes. The truth is brutal but fading, sharp but blurring into nothing more than a figment of his-

"The bell just rang, Rodgers."

Rick startles at the sound of her voice in his ear, the melody of her laughter following as he spins in his chair to find Kate Beckett waiting for him, her books cradled to her chest and her eyebrows raised expectantly.

She looks pretty today, he notes. Her hair long and flowing loose, catching in the collar of her leather jacket. She tilts her head expectantly.

"Or should I be referring to you as 'birthday boy' for the day?" she hums the question, a knowing smirk on her lips.

Rick flips his notebook closed, shoves it into the backpack sitting beside his desk, and stands with a growing smile stretching his lips wide.

"Hey, I didn't see you this morning," Rick grins, reaching out to reel Kate into a one armed hug.

She chuckles and squeezes his side, digging her fingers between his ribs to make him squirm. He shoves her away and hefts his backpack onto his shoulder.

"I had an oral presentation in first period, had to be here a half hour earlier," she murmurs, taking advantage of the empty classroom and snaking one of her arms through his, nestling close to his side as they stroll for the door. The familiar sensation of comfort blankets his chest while butterflies swarm through his stomach. "Happy Birthday, Rick."

Kate smiles up at him, beaming with pride and crooked teeth. He hooks his arm around her shoulders and presses his cheek to the top of her head. At her own sixteen years, she was going to be as tall as him soon. He inhales a silent breath, the aroma of cherries and that vanilla body wash she uses invading the rest of his senses. Kate is his best friend, has been ever since he moved into her apartment building seven years ago with his mother, but lately… he's wanted so much more than friendship.

But soon, far too soon, he may not even have that much.

"Thanks, Beckett," he manages, releasing his hold on her and extending his arm out in a grand gesture towards the door. "After you."

She rolls her eyes, but strolls past him, her leather jacket gleaming under the fluorescent lights of the classroom. Rebel Becks, as she likes to call herself when she's feeling brave, is an intriguing idea, a fun persona for his best friend to explore. He'd explore right along with her if she wanted him to, find a leather jacket of his own just to make her laugh. He doesn't care how Kate dresses or the attitude she chooses to project for the rest of the world to judge, as long as he continues to have access to the real Kate beneath it all. He hopes he's still allowed that access, even once she learns the truth, even once they are no longer classmates or neighbors.

He wants to tell her today, he has to, but the knot that's existed within his stomach for the last week has him dreading the moment, willing him to prolong it for as long as possible.

"Did your mom get you anything amazing for the big eighteen?" Kate asks, guiding him towards the double doors that will lead out into the back parking lot. The skies are grey and darkening, the beginning of April bringing with it the promised threat of showers.

The quirk of lips she induced wavers a bit at the mention of his mother. He hasn't talked to Kate about the move, hasn't had the courage to tell her everything yet, but Rick has been avoiding his mother all week, his anger dissipating into bitter acceptance. She had made him chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast this morning, like she does every time a special occasion arises, but he had bypassed his plate for the front door while his mother was still in the shower.

He knows his mom would do anything for him, that she thinks this is the best option for both of them, but he disagrees, strongly. He doesn't know how to forgive her for potentially ruining the first real friendship he's ever had. For taking him away from the first person he's ever loved.

"You're just hoping I got a car so I can chauffeur you around," he huffs, checking over his shoulder. The hallway is mostly empty, only a few fellow students left at their lockers, hurrying to snag their books for the next class. "Are we ditching?"

Kate shoves one of the doors open and catches him by the hand to pull him out after her. The grin she tosses him over her shoulder says it all, the sparkling mischief flaring gold in her eyes.

"You're going to get me expelled on my birthday," he hisses, hastening into a jog to match her pace and keep hold of her hand.

Kate scoffs, her eyes alert and bright as they scan the area, her fingers tightening around his as they dash for the street. It isn't the first time they've done this, but their last out of school escapade had ended with both of them sitting through multiple lectures (from both the principal and their parents - well, mostly Kate's parents) and he wasn't in the mood to spend his eighteenth birthday in more trouble than usual.

"I left a fake note on your chemistry teacher's desk and Mrs. Knight couldn't care less if I show up to English or not," Kate assures him, slowing to a stroll once Stuyvesant High is out of the sight and they're well into the embrace of the city, blending with the sea of people flooding the streets of New York City.

Rick takes a deep breath to recover from the run, watches Kate do the same. However, her persistence fails to slow, her hand still secure in his while she leads him down the bustling sidewalks towards a mystery destination he has yet to inquire about. But really, at this point, he would follow Kate Beckett anywhere, especially when he's allowed to hold her hand along the way.

"Wow, you must have special plans for me if you put actual thought into our escape for a change," Rick appraises, earning a nudge of her elbow to his ribcage for the remark. "And for the record, you should choose a less important class to skip."

"We're not all out to become best-selling authors, Rick," she chuckles, inching closer to him on the crowded sidewalk. Their shoulders brush, their interlocked hands bumping between their thighs, and Castle struggles to hide his smile at the simple touches, to ignore the ridiculous and wholly unwelcome butterflies swarming his stomach. But they never seem to leave these days.

"Mm, I suppose it isn't too terrible if the future first female Chief Justice misses a few lessons on grammar every now and then," he muses, enjoying the subtle flush of her cheeks. "You know, future best-selling mystery novelist and a leader in law is a pretty interesting combo."

"We're a combo now?" Kate quips, not meeting his gaze but flicking her eyes down to their hands, and oh… this could be very dangerous territory for them.

She makes these comments more often these days, as if daring him to say more. They've never actually talked about what they are, if they could ever be more than friends, but the implication has been blooming within the last few years, practically overgrown by now. He likes to believe that he knows what she wants, likes to imagine that she could want him, especially after she was the one to kiss him on her thirteenth birthday. Her first kiss. His too.

They hadn't talked about that either, hadn't talked about the day spent ice skating hand in hand despite the way her other party guests had teased her and called him her boyfriend. They hadn't talked about the way her bright eyes had glimmered beneath the lights of Rockefeller Center, about how she had braced her clumsy hands on his shoulders for balance and held tight as she lifted her mouth to meet his in a kiss that had been chaste and nervous and far too short.

Yeah, that had to have been the moment he realized for the first time he could really love his best friend. But that had been nearly four years ago and he couldn't afford to waste anymore time hoping she'll kiss him again.

"We've always been a combo," he deflects without thinking. "Ever since our parents became friends and you decided to have mercy on the new kid."

"More like you needed someone to take part in all your roleplaying adventures and seven year old me couldn't resist volunteering," she mutters, but her lips are curling in the corners, fond memories flickering in her eyes. "We've always been partners," she confirms with a nod, sweeping her thumb over his knuckles as they come to a stop in front of his favorite bakery.

Kate drags him inside and his mouth instantly waters at the sweet aroma of sugary baked goods that rushes to welcome them. His eyes remain on her, even as she guides him to the counter and retracts a few bills from the pocket of her jeans with her free hand.

"Yeah," he murmurs, meeting her thumb with a brush of his own before she finally withdraws her hand from the tangle of his. "Partners"


A handful of raindrops dive to decorate the concrete as they exit the bakery and start for the park a mile away from their shared apartment building. Despite his insistent protests, Kate bought him a small, overly expensive platter of cupcakes, which they ended up sharing bites of in a booth near the back. School would be out in an hour and there was no point in returning now, especially not when Kate had other plans.

The sky has become a painting of dark clouds, intimidating streaks of indigo and grey by the time they step into the empty park. A warning from the news this morning flickers through his mind, of an impending thunderstorm, but Kate isn't the least bit bothered, striding up to the swing set and falling into the seat with a grin.

These swings are theirs. Both Martha and Johanna used to walk the two of them to the park after school when they were still little kids and this is the spot he and Katie had always spent the most time, where they would soar through the air and pretend they were flying, where all the magic happened. It didn't hurt that there was a bookstore straight ahead, only adding to his consistent musings of becoming a writer, having his books displayed proudly in that store window.

"C'mon Rodgers, it's about to pour and I want to give you your gift," Kate prompts, digging the toes of her boots into the grass and swaying side to side.

Rick perks up at the mention of a present just to hear her scoff of laughter, hurrying to his swing and dropping into the seat beside her. "I thought the cupcakes were my gift."

"That was part one of your gift. Part two is inedible," Kate murmurs with a smirk, digging in her messenger bag until a neatly wrapped rectangle is being withdrawn.

He knows it must be a book when she places it in his lap, can tell by the well-known shape and weight, but he takes a moment to trace the surface of the striped blue and white paper, the cobalt ribbon tied around the middle. He spares a glance to her as his fingers snag in the bow of the ribbon, untying it while he studies the subdued anticipation bubbling to life in her eyes, the stab of her teeth into her bottom lip to bite back the smile, and – and he doesn't know how to tell her the truth without causing that smile to disappear for good.

"Kate, I need to tell you something."

"Unwrap your gift first," she presses, shifting sideways to bump him with her shoulder.

Rick purses his lips, but returns his attention to the gift in his lap, slices into the side of the present with his thumbnail. The rest of the festive paper is ripped away with ease, pushed aside until the gift is revealed and his chest fissures with gratitude, aches with unbidden sorrow.

The black leather is soft but firm beneath his fingertips, the etched letters in the bottom corner crisp like the untouched pages inside.

"RC?" he gets out, tearing his eyes away from the gorgeous notebook in his lap to stare at Kate beside him, his best friend and the girl he's afraid he may be in love with.

"Richard Castle," she affirms with a smile that turns shy, an accompanying shrug to the utterance of the pen name they made up together when he was eleven. "You're going to be an amazing writer, Rick. I guess I just wanted to contribute to your upcoming success."

"This - this must have cost you months' worth of allowance," he whispers, turning the book over in his hands, flipping through the lined, ivory pages, all unmarked. Save for one.

On the first strip of paper, swirling letters that he would recognize anywhere loop across the page:

Rick,

I thought it was time you had a real, trustworthy notebook on hand rather than mixing your stories with your notes for class. I hope this one can do the job.

Love,

Kate

"It was worth it, Castle."

Rick drags his gaze back to her, finds her smile so bright and lovely amidst the world of darkening clouds around them.

"I'm leaving," he chokes out, feeling his heart shred itself against his ribs at the confused crease that worries her brow, the frowning curve of her lips.

"Leaving?" she echoes, her fingers tightening around the chains of the swings. "Right now? Did - do you not like the journal? We could go exchange it-"

"No," Rick cuts her off, clutching the notebook to his chest and shaking his head. "My mom, she - you know she hasn't been booking many jobs here in the last few years, so she started looking for work elsewhere and she booked a role on a soap opera in Los Angeles-"

Kate jerks up from her swing, the chains rattling in her wake, harmonizing well with the thunder that rumbles to life in the distance.

"I want to stay, I tried to convince her I could get a job, keep the apartment or even find a cheaper one nearby," he continues on, rising from his swing with caution, watching Kate like a wild animal caught between the choices of fight or flight.

"How long have you known?" she demands, her voice a low growl he's only been on the receiving end of during a handful of their worst and usually most petty fights.

"I didn't know how to tell you without ruining our-"

"Rick." Angry but pleading, her eyes pierce him.

"I found out last week."

Her lower lip trembles. "And when do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

A raw, uninhibited noise claws up her throat, slips past her lips, but she staggers back when he tries to touch her. The single droplets of rain are beginning to multiply and Rick has to grab his backpack, secure his notebook inside while the water begins to stain her skin, drench her hair.

"Kate, please don't-"

She slaps his hand away when he reaches for her again.

"Were you ever even going to tell me? Or were you just planning to disappear?"

"I was going to tell you," he swears, raising his voice to be heard over the increasing downpour. "I just… the longer I put it off, the longer things could stay normal. I didn't want some impending goodbye hanging over us for this last week."

He already knows the reasoning is selfish, knows she does too by the unrelenting fire in her eyes, but they can't end like this, not on a fight, not after she just gave him the most beautiful birthday gift he could have asked for. Not before he can tell her everything.

"And keeping me in the dark until the very end was so much better?" she shouts, grabbing her messenger bag from a forming puddle in the grass and slinging it over her shoulder, trudging through the sheets of rain and blades of slick grass to stride past him,.

He catches her by the arm.

"It's not the end," he argues, but she shakes him off, shakes her head in an attempt to dispel the tears mixing with the rain on her cheeks. "I'm… I just wanted – don't go, Kate. Not now."

The anguish that sweeps over her face breaks his previously unmarred heart, splits it into pieces.

"Shouldn't that be my line?" she hisses.

Lightning illuminates the sky, flashes across the slick shadows of her skin, the hollows of her cheekbones that have always been too sharp, the line of her jaw that's always been so cutting for someone so young. Her gaze slips to the worsening storm around them and then to the street, the path that will lead her to a home that will no longer be his.

"Kate, just listen-"

"No," she snaps, stepping away from him, her knuckles white and dripping as they curl tightly around the messenger bag hanging from her shoulder. "It's too late for that."

"You can't just end this friendship when I-"

"You ended this friendship the moment you lied to me," she yells back at him, the fire in her eyes extinguished, nothing but ashes and tears left. Her chest heaves, a sob building there and she backs further away from him until she's completely unreachable. "Enjoy LA, Rick."

"Fine!" he shouts, even as his throat clogs. "I will!"

Rick watches her disappear through the blur of rain until all he can see is the whitewash of water, the black of the sky that crackles with bolts of lightning and booms with thunder. He needs to be inside, to find some form of shelter, but he drops backwards instead, caught by the seat of the swing, and clutches the chains to keep from tipping over.

He should go after her, try to explain, but he knows what Kate is like when she is angry, especially this angry. She needs at least three hours to cool off. But what does it matter? What will it change this time?

He's moving across the country and they're unlikely to even have a landline in whatever lowly apartment he and his mother move into. So what if he and Kate have been friends since they were kids? So have most people who go to the same schools or live in the same areas. How many of those friendships survive into adulthood.

Maybe it was always going to end like this. Kate was a beautiful girl with a bright future. He couldn't even afford to go to college. Maybe, letting her go now, was for the best.

He barely has the time to wallow, to mourn what may be lost, when a blinding flash consumes his vision, a strike of paralyzing pain ripples through his bones, and the rest of his senses go numb.