Feeling utterly ashamed of himself for what he had done earlier that morning, Connor returned home with a white handkerchief wrapped around the bloodied blue knuckles of his right hand and a thick grimace on his face. Standing outside the front door of the house with his yellow tinted L.E.D. casting a blinking amber light over the surface of the closed door, Connor tried to think of how he could possibly explain to Hank that he had been suspended from the force for assaulting a fellow officer or how he had such a violent outburst to begin with. As much as he wanted to delay the inevitable conversation with the Lieutenant, Connor knew that he couldn't stand outside forever and would need to face Hank eventually.
Wrapping his good hand over the doorknob Connor slowly turned the knob, quietly pushed the door open, and set foot inside the house where he was immediately greeted by Sumo. The massive dog was wagging his tail and standing before Connor just waiting for some attention from his favorite deviant. Crouching down on the floor Connor pushed the door shut behind himself and then ran the same hand over the dog's head and ears affectionately.
"Hey boy. Is Hank still sleeping off his headache?"
Sumo just gave Connor an odd look and tilted his head simply because he couldn't understand the question, but he never stopped wagging his tail.
"I'm not asleep." Hank replied from where he was laying down over the length of the couch. He was laying so still over the furniture that Connor didn't notice his presence. "At least not anymore."
"Sorry." Shame and guilt fell over Connor instantly. "I didn't intend to wake you."
"Don't worry about it." The groggy senior detective sat upright on the couch and ran his hand over his tired face. Yawning a little Hank blinked a few times and steadily became more alert as he awoke from his nap. "Sumo wouldn't leave me alone all day, so it's not like I managed to get much sleep anyway. Why are you home so early?"
"I..." Trailing off Connor didn't know what to say or even know how to begin. "It's... complicated."
"Please tell me you didn't clock-out early just because I stayed home with a headache today."
"I didn't." The young deviant confessed and stepped around the side of the couch to look Hank in the eyes. "I was... suspended."
"Suspended? You?! Yeah, right!" Hank laughed a little at the admission as he gave Connor a stern glance. The look on Connor's face was one of seriousness and regret that was plaguing the deviant from the depths of his heart. "Oh, shit. You're not kidding, are you?"
"...No." Truly ashamed of himself Connor told Hank the truth and waited to be scolded for his poor behavior. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For-" The more alert senior detective suddenly noticed the blue bloody cloth tied around Connor's right hand and was officially fully awake. Pointing to Connor's bloodied hand Hank swung his legs over the side of the couch as if to stand up but remained seated. "What the fuck happened? Sit down."
Connor nodded subtly as he sat down in the recliner beside the couch and extended his right arm outward Hank knowing that he'd want to inspect the damage to his right hand.
Without asking Hank grabbed on to Connor's right wrist below his bandaged hand and peeled back the handkerchief to look at the damage to the artificial skin over Connor's knuckles. The cuts were deep, right down to the white plastimetal frame beneath, and still oozing blue blood.
"If you were human I'd say you'd need a few stitches." Hank observed keenly but not angrily as he examined the wound. "Tell me what happened, kid. I won't judge you. I just want the truth."
Earlier That Morning:
After Hank had called off of work due to an incredible headache that was too painful to deal with while on the clock, Connor arrived alone and reported to his shift as normal. Without Hank to act as his partner Connor willingly resigned himself to desk duty for the day to help the other officers catch up on paperwork, file reports quicker, and to properly sift through and identify other possible cases revolving around deviant activity from typical crime in the city. Everything was proceeding smoothly throughout the unusual morning and well into the afternoon for the young deviant, but that only lasted until Gavin decided to open his big mouth and start an unnecessary dispute.
As Connor passed by the community breakroom after delivering a report to dispensary on the second floor, Gavin proceeded to needlessly insult the deviant with an arrogant sneer to his abrasive voice. Trapping Connor in the side room just outside of the bullpen, Gavin began picking at the deviant knowing that Hank wouldn't be able to interfere and make him stop.
"Hey you plastic-prick, where's your partner?" Goading Connor into a rude conversation Gavin blocked Connor inside the breakroom. "Nursing a hangover, right?"
Connor's L.E.D. flashed from blue to yellow with irritation at the comment and decided to vouch for Hank's character. Stopping mid stride he turned his gaze toward Gavin and defended his friend on Hank's behalf.
"Incorrect. Hank has been sober for-"
"Once a drunken loser, always a drunken loser." Gavin stated venomously as he got right in Connor's face as he tried to provoke a violent response. The hotheaded detective had been waiting for an opportunity to challenge the deviant without Hank around, and he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass. "I'm surprised he hasn't tried to pawn your sorry ass for some liquor money by now."
Connor squared his jaw as he stared down the vicious detective with a fixed glare, his L.E.D. still cycling yellow in distress.
"You know, it's a good thing you didn't let him drive you in today." The vindictive detective continued to get right in Connor's face while the rest of the bullpen just watched the confrontation in the breakroom without saying a word. "He might've gotten into another accident. Of course, it's probably a good thing his real son is already dead."
At that brutal remark Connor's yellow L.E.D. turned to red and his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.
"Sure, it was icy that night, but I wouldn't be surprised if Hank had been drinking all day."
"Gavin. Shut up." Connor warned in a gravelly tone as he held his ground and took a more threatening pose in front of him. "I'm warning you."
"Warning me?" Gavin scoffed at the threat and didn't let up. The rest of the bullpen was watching the confrontation but no one was stopping it. "Fuck. If anything he did his son a favor! He saved that poor kid the pain of being raised by worthless alcoholic. Cole's better off de-"
Before Gavin could utter one more cruel word Connor reeled back his fist and punched Gavin right in the teeth causing deep red blood to gush from Gavin's mouth, nose and now busted open upper lip. Unable to regain his balance after being punched so hard, Gavin found himself being thrown up against the wall by Connor's strong hands gripped around his shirt collar just seconds before the angered deviant pinned his forearm against Gavin's throat effectively choking off the human's air supply.
"I told you to shut up, you fuckin' asshole!" Now it was Connor who was shouting and getting right in Gavin's face. The red glare from his L.E.D. cast a crimson glow over Gavin's bloodied face in an ominous manner. "You have no right to say ANYTHING about Hank OR Cole! If you want to fight with someone, fight with me. I'm right here just waiting for you. I'm not a heartbroken detective or a helpless little boy. Fight someone who can fight back you pathetic, heartless prick!"
As Connor threatened the mouthy human his L.E.D. continued to cycle in a deep red that matched the blood pouring from Gavin's nose and mouth. Gavin's gray-hazel eyes went wide with genuine fear as the deviant finally stood up to him. The strength of Connor's forearm more than enough to keep him pinned in place against the wall. All Connor would have to do is apply a little more pressure and he could easily crush Gavin's windpipe like an empty can.
"Still want to fight, or do you prefer a stationary target that can't defend itself?"
"Connor! Gavin!" Captain Fowler's voice resonated deeply through the breakroom as he investigated the commotion. The moment he shouted the rest of the bullpen went back to its own business and tried to pretend they hadn't noticed the confrontation. "What the fuck is going on?! Connor! Let him go. NOW."
Holding Gavin against the wall for a few seconds longer Connor's face ticked with frustration as he glared with a fiery disdain at the human. Dropping his forearm quickly as he had been ordered, Connor watched as Gavin fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor while his nose and mouth gushed blood.
Gavin coughed in an attempt to catch his breath and was left effectively speechless as blood collected in his swollen, painful mouth.
"Connor! My office." Captain Fowler ordered again as he took in the sight of the altercation. As Connor stepped away from the bleeding human his red L.E.D. cycled back to yellow and Thirium began to drip from his cut-open right knuckles onto the floor in dark blue drips. "Gavin, get yourself cleaned up in the infirmary. We're having words later."
With his head hung low and his L.E.D. cycling in yellow Connor obediently walked into Captain Fowler's office and sat down in the chair opposite his commanding officer's desk as he waited for his righteous reprimand. He turned his head and watched the breakroom through the transparent wall of the office as a precinct medic tended to Gavin's wounds with a bundle of gauze and an ice pack.
Gavin was helped to his feet by two other officers, but he was swaying where he stood and he seemed to be shaking from the whole ordeal.
Captain Fowler marched into his office after Gavin had been seen to and closed his door slowly. Dropping a white handkerchief onto Connor's shoulder the seasoned commanding officer sat down behind his desk and folded his hands together over the top as if in deep contemplation. Captain Fowler leaned forward slightly and let out a deep breath as he tried to find the proper solution to the unusual problem.
"Captain," speaking up in a timid voice Connor attempted to soothe over the incident as peacefully as possible. "I'm sorry for-"
"Save it." Captain Fowler silenced Connor in a level tone of understanding and discipline before he had the chance to begin. "I know why you did it, Connor. Gavin's a huge pain in the ass. He keeps runnin' his mouth and loves to pick on you. So, I get it; I know why you hit him. But what I want to know is what made you do it after all this time? What changed? I mean, you messed him up pretty badly with just one punch."
The revelation made Connor's yellow L.E.D. cycle back to red with guilt. "...H-How bad is he hurt?"
"Looks like he's lost at least three teeth, his top lip is going to need to be stitched shut, and you broke his nose."
"I-I didn't mean to hurt him." Connor's L.E.D. flashed red rapidly with genuine concern and a need to apologize. "It wasn't my intention to-"
"I don't want to hear what you didn't do." Captain Fowler stated calmly, his voice carrying authority but not aggression. "I want to hear why you did it. What did Gavin say that set you off like that?"
"He..." Connor looked down at his bleeding right knuckles briefly as he took the handkerchief from his shoulder and wrapped it around his damaged hand to try to stem the bleeding and conceal the wound. "He made a comment about... He mentioned Hank's late son."
Captain Fowler leaned back and rubbed his hand over his face in disgust. "That fuckin' bastard."
"I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. It was unprofessional."
"Yeah, and so was Gavin's comments." Taking personal offense on Hank's behalf, Captain Fowler let Connor know that he had no reason to feel guilty for effectively silencing Gavin with one swift punch. "Given your previous record of exemplary behavior, I'm going to go easy on you, but I still need to give you disciplinary action for striking a fellow officer."
"I understand."
"Two days suspension, with pay."
Looking up at his Captain slowly, Connor gave the man a truly perplexed glance. "...What?"
"It's a first-time incident and I understand your reaction. Gavin had no right to say anything he said, especially about Cole." The man's explanation seemed to be far too simple to believe, but far be it from anyone to argue with their commanding officer. "Take it or leave it, but if you leave it then I'll have to make a nasty mark in your personnel file."
"That's... acceptable." Connor was slightly confused by the rather lenient punishment, his red L.E.D. transitioning back to yellow to demonstrate his perplexed reaction as he arched his brow. "Protocol mandates that any officer who is noted with assault must be suspended for two weeks and-"
"I know the damn protocol, and I also know Gavin provoked you. You get two days and Gavin will get two weeks." Making a note on his terminal Captain Fowler enacted the suspension for immediate recognition and let Connor go. "Starting today you're suspended. Go home, you're dismissed."
"O-Of course." Connor looked down at his bleeding hand in shame as he rose from the chair to take his leave of the precinct as ordered. "Thank you, Captain."
"Don't thank. Just don't hit Gavin again, I won't be able to protect you from a serious reprimand if you lose your temper a second time."
Exiting the office Connor could feel the eyes of the other officers and detectives watching his every move with a sense of judgement and sympathy. In that moment Connor didn't want anyone's sympathy, he just wanted to pretend the day never happened and wanted to undo the biggest regret of his professional career.
"What am I going to tell Hank?"
Connor whispered to himself as he properly logged-out of his terminal before clocking-out as he had been ordered. It was finally warming up outside as spring broke through the previous winter, but in Connor's world everything was as icy cold as a smothering blizzard.
"He's going to be so disappointed in me."
Despite his headache Hank had listened to Connor's every word with his full attention. Knowing that Connor had been targeted and then provoked was good enough of a reason to lash out at Gavin and defend himself. But knowing that Connor was more preoccupied with defending Hank and Cole than himself was a little surprising in Hank's mind. Even after deviating, Connor still didn't seem to view himself as someone worth defending or someone worthy of respect from his fellow officers in the bullpen. Such a misguided notion would be one that Hank would do everything in his power to remedy and ensure that Connor finally understood that it wasn't wrong to protect himself at the expense of another person's failure.
Letting out a deep sigh through his nose Hank waited for Connor to finish telling him all the details and felt himself smirking. The way the story had ended was a rather pleasant surprise considering everything that happened.
"Wait, you punched Gavin?" Hank grinned micheivously as he asked the question, his hand letting go of Connor's right wrist in the process. "You even called him a 'fucking asshole', and I wasn't there to see it? Ah man, what a day to call off sick."
"You're..." Still perplexed by the lack of anger from both Captain Fowler and Hank the young deviant sought definitive answers. "You're not disappointed in my behavior?"
"Connor, you stood up for yourself. I'm not disappointed, I'm proud of you!"
"But I didn't strike Gavin because he was insulting me, I struck him because he was insulting you." Still confused by the lack of reaction Connor felt like he needed to emphasize that he wasn't defending himself. "And Gavin even tried to use Cole as a weapon."
"He was picking on you, son. He was just using me and Cole to get under your skin." Hank glanced at the partially visible plastimetal exposed in Connor's right knuckles where the handkerchief wasn't covering the wound and shook his head a little. "Looks like it worked. Too bad it also backfired."
Connor was still distressed as he sat in silence in the recliner. The yellow blinking of his L.E.D. gave away his emotions, even though Hank could already read him like an open book.
"Get your hand cleaned up and don't worry about anything. Tomorrow I'll go in and talk with Captain Fowler, and I'll make sure that nothing that can hinder your role in the precinct gets added to your record, okay?"
"...Okay."
"Aw, come on." Hank hated seeing the kicked puppy look in the deviant's eyes and wanted him to cheer up. "Please tell me you don't actually feel bad about hitting Gavin. The prick had it comin'!"
"I still shouldn't have struck him." Connor openly lamented at his undisciplined actions. "I should've been the bigger man and walked away. He's insulted me before and I've never reacted in such a way."
"Listen to me. You're not even human, yet you're easily twice the man that someone like Gavin could ever be. And I'm not just talking about your height."
Connor finally grinned a little at the compliment and his yellow tinted L.E.D. slowly cycled back to a calm blue. "...Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Flexing his sore hand Connor replayed the morning's events and tried to find a solution to his current problem. "How do I make this right?"
"You don't." Replying firmly Hank made it clear that Connor was the victim and not the instigator. Despite the blood on his hand Connor was innocent. "Gavin is the one who is in the wrong, NOT you. Got it?"
"Yes." Looking down at his bloodied hand Connor removed the handkerchief and let out a small sigh of his own at his still raw wounds. "I got it."
"Good. Now, go on. Take care of your hand, son." The senior detective insisted kindly as he casually laid back over the couch and tucked his arm beneath his head to get some more rest. Suddenly feeling better Hank couldn't keep himself from grinning as he spoke with the deviant detective watching over him. "You did nothing wrong. I promise that standing up for yourself is a good thing."
"It doesn't feel like it's a good thing."
"In time, it will." Speaking from his own experiences Hank reassured Connor that he was in the right and had no reason to feel guilty. "The more you learn to stand up for yourself, the more you realize that it's okay to tell someone to shut the fuck up when they're insulting you, the more you'll realize how good it feels to be seen as someone worthy of the respect that you've already earned."
Hearing such words of confidence managed to bring a smile to Connor's face even as he walked into the bathroom to begin cleaning up his bloodied hand and bandaging it properly. Being told not once, but twice, that he was in the right helped Connor accept that he was worthy of being treated with dignity and didn't deserve to be pushed around by insecure bullies.
"Perhaps when I return to the precinct, I'll be able to complete a shift without needing to ignore insults and slurs being crudely thrown my way."
Under the flowing tap, the blue blood swirled down the drain under to be forgotten as Connor neatly bandaged his wounds. A faint hint of pink accompanied the blue as Gavin's lost blood that had stained Connor's hand was washed away as easily as Thirium. It was symbolic in a way, as it showed that red human blood and blue android blood could be spilled and lost in the same senseless way regardless of a misplaced sense of superiority.
"That'll make my suspension worth the seemingly wasted time if something positive can be found in my arguably negative actions."
-next chapter-
