Tremble! The Witch of Dragons is Here! (Re:Zero - Jeanne D'Arc Alter SI Chapter 1)

[Congratulation! You have Acquired the Servant System!]
[Welcome to your Isekai Adventure!]
[Randomly Selected World - Re:Zero]
[Servant Form Gained]
[Saint Graph Permanently Equipped: Jeanne d'Arc (Alter)]
[(Automatic) Servant Synchronization: 25%]

You know how when someone finds themselves suddenly transported to another world out of nowhere, and they describe how shocked and overwhelmed they are.

Like they would start that first chapter talking about being surprised by this sudden event, try and get their bearings. Maybe be a bit in denial about how 'there's no way they could be in another world!' and all that jazz. Or thinking of how doomed they are because of whatever setting they are in. Or they plan out what they are gonna do why focusing on how to 'get back home to their friends and family' and wah, wah, wah.

I'm afraid when I suddenly found a floating screen in front of me, along with suddenly feeling displaced, I had bigger concerns to deal with.

I was looking down at the obstruction that was stopping me from seeing my feet. I mean sure, if I lean forward, I could see them. I was wearing boots now apparently.

And it was definitely a bigger concern.

I had boobs.

Like actual round tits.

Also I can't feel my peepee. I tried to flex it. Just get the old boy to twitch or something.

But there was nothing there.

I then looked back up to the System Screen, read what was written, and my mind finally comprehended what happened, allowing the hamster wheel in my head to run correctly again, as my brain connected the dots.

I had become a chick. And I lost my dick.

"Someone is gonna fucking burn for this." I spoke for the first time since landing in this new world.

"Eeek!" Some random kid passing next to me, squeaked out in fear, before his mom pulled him away from the crazy woman talking to herself.

I ignored that. I took a breath and with a thought dismissed the floating screens. I started walking randomly while organizing my thoughts. Better than just standing in the middle of the sidewalk like a weirdo.

Okay, planning time! so I'm in the setting of Re:Zero and...

"What the fuck happens in Re:Zero?" I cried out to myself, startling some folk around me as I walked.

No seriously, what was the plot of this thing?

It's been years since I've seen the anime, and I don't remember shit. Like, maybe the vaguest of details.

There's a poor area I need to go to. There's some thief loli I need to beat up.

No, wait, it was some crazy bitch with a blood fetish or something.

Also, and more importantly, I have a timelooping power! Return by Dying or something.

"Reset when Dead. Or was it Relapse when Collapse-No, wait that's for drug overdose. Or wait no, that's not for that. That's something else. Maybe. Probably." I muttered.

Fuck it, point is. I get a Save Point, and I can die forever, no sweat. So, there should be no worries about messing. I think.

And the first season was about a crazy assassin chick, some twin maids, some evil dogs, then a whale and some cultists. Right! There we go, memory coming back no problemo.

And then there's season two, and I think season three was announced, recently?

...Fuck, I should have watched season two!

"Dammit, if I had known this would have happened I wouldn't have put off watching my animes till later. Fuck!" I shouted to the heavens.

Then I stopped and really thought about it.

...Do I actually have to do anything with the plot? I think I should just wonder around, explore and have fun.

I mean, If the plot really needed me, it would come find me, right?

"Well, well, well lads, lookie what have we here?"

I blinked at the odd sleazy voice coming from the opening of the alley behind me.

Wait, I walked into an alley? Where I was immediately ambushed? That's so fucking cliche!

"My, my, someone's been splurging on themselves. How much was that jacket, honey?" Said some boy thug, trying to sound older and intimidating. His voice was different from the one who spoke first.

"Heh, I don't remember you from the brothel? Are you new? Or wait, are you Ms. Amanda?!" The third, a large tall thug spoke, now looking at me with wide surprised, yet excited eyes. "Damn, I've never even saw you before. No wonder you're excusive."

"It's exclusive, Ton. And no, she's not Ms. Amanda." Spoke the first thug, the skinny one. Fuck it, I'm calling them Thug A, B and C based on speaking order.

"How would you know?" Thug C said back.

"Look I just do. I sneaked a peek from her room's window once. That's not her." Said Thug A. "Wasn't easy, let me tell you."

"Wait, was that when you had me stand still and stood on my shoulders? You didn't even return the favor! What the hell, bro!?" Cried out Thug B.

"Look, there wasn't enough time, okay. I'll let you peek next time." Thug A shouted back.

Wait, am I in danger? How much of my Servant powers do I have?

Servant Sheet

Basic Info:
True Name: Jeanne d'Arc (Alter)
Servant Class: Avenger
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Armament: Sword, Flag

Servant Stats:
Strength: A
Endurance: C
Agility: A
Mana: A+
Luck: E-
NP: A+

Class Skills:
Avenger: B
Oblivion Correction: A
Self-Replenishment (Mana): A+

Personal Skills: #Currently Sealed#

Noble Phantasm:
La Grondement Du La Haine - Rank B
Anti-Unit. Currently nerfed to only create and control "scary" flames.

Return by Death - Rank EX
Anti-Unit (Self). When user dies they return a return to an unspecified, unpredictable and uncontrollable "Save Point", that was set some time before their death with their knowledge and experience.

The Noble Phantasm however carries a demerit. Due to it's existence being a Blessing and a Curse from Satella and the Witch of Envy, not only can the user not talk about this ability, but should they attempt to do so, their heart would be crush. For certain people, talking about this ability around them would result in their death, rather than the user. Also this ability increases the Witch Factor within the user for a short period of time, which draws in Demon Beasts.

Also this Noble Phantasm causes Luck to be lowered by one Rank.

Note: Some skills and abilities might be locked or downgraded due Player's beginner status. As they make achievements on their journey, no options will be unlock for them. However, due to them not being a whiney bitch, they get their full Servant stats from the get go.

Oh! Neat.

"Hey! Hey! Hey, fuckers!" I grinned.

My shout threw off the bantering thugs as they looked at me with anger and annoyance.

My summoning my dark sword with a thought, along with conjuring fire around me with my other hand, turned them pale and scared shitless.

"If you don't wanna die, give me all your money!" The fire spread to cover the alley and cut off their exit.

"HEEEEK!" Shouted Thug B.

"M-M-Magician!" Cried out Thug C.

"AAAAAAH!" Screamed Thug A.

I'll figure out what I'm suppose to do about the plot later.

As any normal isekai'd adventurer in a new world, you need money.

So with a charming smile, I threatened asked these local bandits to donate their money for me.

"A-hem, excuse me, Miss?" Suddenly the fire at the entrance of the alley dispersed. It was just gone, I couldn't even fight against what blew it away. At the alleyway's entrance, I and the thugs saw a very well dressed, and obviously rich dude, with red hair. Wait, red hair? "I'll have to ask you to lay down your weapon and let these innocent folk go unharmed. There's no need to escalate to violence and add assault to your attempted theft." Reinhard van Astrea said with a smile.

I blinked a few times at this sudden weird situation. I pointed at my self questioningly, just to make sure.

Was this sequence of events suppose to happen?

"Well, you are threating these three and trying to rob them, who else would I mean?" Reinhard said in that clam teacher voice, as he nodded. I tilted my head in confusion on why he's here. "There were some complains about some unstable woman in the streets scaring children. I happened to be nearby and decided take a look." He explained. I guess my confusion was obvious to him, or he had some mind reading power or something. Who knows.

Okay, how do I get out of this?

"One," I raised a finger. "They tried to rob me, so I'm robbing them back. It's completely fair." I said pointing at the three stooges.

"O-O-Oi! We didn't even do anything yet!" Shouted Thug C.

"Shut up, idiot!" Thug A hit him in the side with his elbow. "Oh great Sword Saint, please save us from this crazy woman." Thug A began to run and protest at Reinhard's feet. The other two thugs following Thug A's example.

"Stop." Reinhard said, and the thieves trio immediately halted, like cartoon characters, each one hitting the other in the back, before they all fell on the ground. "Well, it seems like you were right, Miss. They were initially robbing you, but robbing them back is wrong. That's not how the law works." He paused, looking curious. "Although you said 'one', I'm assuming you have other points."

Shit, what was my second point? I forgor!

"Two!" I said, hoping that something would come to mind. Come on, brain. Quickly, quickly. Something so my first night in a new world isn't me sleeping in jail. "You! Marry me!" I declared.

"...Huh?" Reinhard blinked. The Sword Saint was actually stumped.

"What..." Said Thug C.

"The..." Continued Thug B.

"Fuck did she say!?" Finished Thug A.

"Beyond bashing things with some fire, I have absolutely no useful skills. But if you marry me, you'll get someone that loves you for you and not your blessings!" I cried out.

I have absolutely no fucking idea if anything I said was true or not.

"Um..." Reinhard took a moment to compose himself.

Then an orange loli thief ran into the alley.

"OUTTA THE WAY!" She shouted as she dodge around us and jumped up to the roofs.

Welp, that's my cue. I remember this plot point.

Catch the Thief! Mission on-

I found my arm held back by Reinhard, who was instantly by my side grabbing me.

I looked back worried that he still wanted to take me in.

Only he looked confused and flustered a bit.

Then the silver haired half-elf arrived on the scene.

"Ah, Emilia. Always late to the important bit, even in your own story." I said, nodding to myself.

She never arrives to catch Subaru in time. Something always has to happen to the poor guy before she's there to act.

"Eh, what? Who are you? How do you know me?" Emilia stopped, her face covered with a hood as she looked at me alarm.

"Oh, right. I'm not suppose to know that yet." Shit, bad dialogue option. Dammit, brain to mouth filter. Why aren't you doing your job?

"Ex...cuse me, what did you say?" Reinhard asked, blinking and looking flabbergasted, in a way that seemed like these emotions were new and fascinating to him.

"Oh... fuck." I should just...

Just stop talking! I mentally shouted.