Don't Fuck with the White Mage (Jujutsu Kaisen - Utahime Iori SI Chapter 4)
Mei Mei had a slight frown as she saw the latest "mission" given to Utahime.
"They want me to try and exorcise one of Sukuna's Fingers?" Utahime said in stunned shock to the Sorcerer sent by the higher-ups.
"It is understandable that Lady Iori hasn't yet mastered her Domain Expansion in full. However you would have all the time and support you need in order to use it for this mission." The Sorcerer messenger said.
"What are you gonna do, Lady Iori? This is quite an honor. Surely you'll accept." Tanaka said with an annoyed smiled. Of course, it hid his glee, given that he was the one to recommend this mission.
Mei Mei understood that even if Utahime didn't want to involve herself in Jujutsu society's politics, it will still come knocking on her door.
This ploy was simply enough to decipher. Asking Utahime such an impossible task was a way to control her once she failed. She would be limited in way to be promoted, even if the task was unreasonable, till she does enough jobs to satisfy the higher-ups.
If she refused outright, it could be used as a reason to deny her promotion to Grade 1, since failure to accept the task was a sign of not having the skill and ability to complete it.
The ideal outcome would be for Utahime to accept and succeed, but that brings about its own complications. They likely will then try to hold her under lock and key for "safety", since she would have proven to be their golden goose. Mei Mei thought.
The one who instigated this situation? That was likely Tanaka recommending Utahime himself. Likely as a way to humiliate her, or bind her in a servile role to the Gojo Clan.
Mei Mei inwardly scoffed in amusement. Doesn't this idiot realize that should Utahime fail, that would be a bad mark on him?
Now, the "smart" answer for this situation wasn't the most obvious one.
Mei Mei held back a smile. She should intervene her, of course it would cost Utahime a consultation fee. Or maybe she should hire herself as Utahime's Jujutsu lawyer. Hmm, her cut from their healing side job would change from 50-50 to 75-25. That sounds fair, although she was open to negotiate.
"I'm sorry, I humbly refuse. I am not worthy yet for this task." Utahime bowed to the higher-up's Sorcerer.
"Eh?" The Sorcerer looked surprise.
"What?" Tanaka cried out, surprised even further for the moment, before disbelieving smirk came to him.
Mei Mei blinked.
Well now, that was surprising. Looks like Utahime actually had an eye for politics after all.
Third Year in Kyoto Jujutsu High and it already feels like dealing with the people was more difficult than dealing with the Cursed Spirits.
"I'm sorry, I humbly refuse. I am worthy yet for this task." I said bowing my head.
Of course I said no. Hell yeah, I said no. Are you people fucking insane? I'm not gonna trigger the Final Boss while I'm still in the tutorial. I'm not a fucking Dark Souls gamer! Although I did wish to get into those games. I hope they will be made in this world.
Regardless I'm not ready to face Kenjaku yet! Being put the radar of Psycho Brain and his band of misfit Disaster Curses wasn't something I was confident I could win against yet.
Yes, I am definitely not following the mentality of Sukuna's philosophy with this, but that's a plus! It means I'm still a sane normal human.
It's 2005 now. Give me till canon time start, then we'll talk, you nutjobs!
"What? Iori, you'd dare refuse a request by the Clans. Have your head grow too big to think you can reject an order for your leaders!" Tanaka cried out.
Look, I'd believe that you're mad, but you look way too happy about this. What the fuck, bro?
"The essence of humility is to know your own limits, Tanaka-sama." I said smiling, making Tanaka flinch before actually looking angry. "I don't wish to waste the elder's time, nor get their hopes up. Thus I'm afraid this task is beyond me. Again, I apologize." I said to the Sorcerer secretary guy... what's his name? Fuck I am not good with people who aren't memorable or I didn't interact with for a while.
"...Lady Iori, you said 'yet'?" Said the Sorcerer.
"Hmm?" I blinked at his question.
"For your wording, do you believe that you can eventually exorcise Sukuna's Fingers?" He asked.
"Uuuuh..." Okay, what's a time frame that seems far off, yet reasonable yet won't have the main villains jump my ass too soon. "In twenty years. Yeah, one hundred percent." I gave a thumbs up.
There even if Kenjaku tries to be smart and hit me in ten years time, or even five years time, I should at least be ready to run away with my life.
The Sorcerer secretary guy widened his eyes, before developing a serious look.
Wait, are you actually considering what I'm saying.
"Very well then. I will convey your words to the Clan Heads." The dude bowed and gave me his business card. "Please contact me if there anything further you wish to speak to the elders about, or for any help you require." Dude said his piece and left.
I looked at the card. 'Gakuganji Katana'.
"'Gakuganji'?" The surname sounded familiar.
"Well that is the old man's grandson. One of many, so not any one close." Mei Mei explained.
"Old man?" I tilted my head at her.
"...The principal." Mei Mei deadpanned.
"Wha!" My jaw dropped as I looked from the card to the Sorcerer dude-Katana (seriously they named him that?), to Mei Mei's face. Then repeated it a few time. "Isn't... this kind of a big deal? Like being given a coin to the continental-Ah, I mean, like being told you can get to the big tables now?!"
"In a manner of speaking." Mei Mei nodded.
Tanaka scoffed, as he turned away. "That was simply a polite way of them telling you to go to them once you've stopped being a coward, and went to fulfill your duty as a Sorcerer." He said.
You know, I know he's just talking smack, but it's annoying that by luck he struck on point, that that's what's happening.
"Oh? But isn't this the result that you wanted?" Mei Mei
"Gah, Mei Mei, you!" Tanaka winced, looking shocked at her just blurting that out.
"Wait. You recommended me to exorcise Sukuna's Finger?" I pointed at him, incredulous.
Tanaka paused for a moment, before quickly resuming his usual scowl and faced me.
"Yeah, I did so. I could no longer stand being in the same team you, Iori Utahime." Wow... I think that was the first time he said my name. It's always some title or other, or just Iori like recently. "You act as if the trials we all go through, our missions, or duty to slay Curses is just some every day job, or worse, training. Like the life and death battles we go through are something that casual and mundane. That we could lose our life at any moment, doesn't seem to register to you! At least Mei Mei had always acknowledged the gravity of fighting for our lives. With you it's, it's... Fighting alongside you is terri-Something is wrong with you!" Finally he ended up shouting.
He huffed after that rant, taking his breath.
"Tanaka, you..." I think I finally understood him. "You really had such a high opinion of me!" I said excitedly, smiling.
"Bwha? Huh!?" Tanaka cried out, flabbergasted.
"To think you really had so much confidence in me, that you'd recommend me for such a high level mission. I didn't think of you as such a nice guy. I've really come to see you in a new way." I said crossing on arm under my chest, while holding my chin and nodding.
"What delusions are you imagining here!? No. Hell no!" Tanaka shouted.
"Ah, that's such a tsundere reaction. I didn't realize you had such a cute side." I let out a chuckle.
At it's core it was just jealousy.
But the reason for it...
"You," he let out a sigh, then scoffed. "Even in this situation. Don't you realize the outcome here? It would take even someone of your talent far too long to be promoted than it normally would have, had you just accepted, failed, then did some mission to regain the elders approval." Tanaka blinked as he saw something in my expression as his eyes widened. "But you never cared about that, did you? Titles? Ranks? It never meant anything at all to you." He turned to leave.
It's because Gojo Tanaka was a normal guy.
"No. Because the truth is, if you become strong enough, they become inevitable." I shrugged, though he couldn't see it.
Tanaka chuckled and shook his head. "Fucking monsters all of you." He began to walk away. "This will be the last time, all three of us will work as a team together. Good bye."
"Bye bye." I waved good bye to Tanaka.
"Hmm. I suppose we'll have to go on mission with just the two of us till a third member if assign. If ever." Mei Mei commented as she smiled. Likely thinking of the bigger share she get in the missions' payments, now that it will be divided on the two of us, rather than three people. "You're really fine with this outcome?" She asked.
"Yeah," I rubbed the back of my head in thought, as I looked at Tanaka far away, disappearing back. "I think this is actually good for him. I think..." I turned to look at Mei Mei. "Tanaka being around me, kinda stagnated his growth. He was too dependent on me being there to catch him if he fucks up. Well, both of us really."
"That problem and him not fixing it, lies squarely on him." She said.
"Yeah, I know you're right, but you can't help your feelings. And I feel a bit guilty... Even if the rest of me is in glee that the fucker is finally gone. Wonder which of our classmates they'll rotate to our team. It's a bit late to do that in our third year."
Oh what fresh hell is this!?
"Mom? Dad?" I looked at the letter in my hands in confusion and... extreme annoyance.
"It's a... great honor." Dad said, keeping his words curt. Mom just sad down silently next to us.
"...What's the politest was to tell them to 'fuck no'."
"Young lady!" Mom called out. "We do not use such language in this house."
When I'm being asked to be a broodmare, I sure as hell will!
"Right. I apologize." I nodded.
"It's... understandable, Hime-chan." Mom said, looking dejected.
It was a 'marriage interview request' (read: marriage demand), sent to my parents from the Zenin Clan.
Holy shit, a Gojo left from my side, and instantly the Zenin pounced?
Fuck me, Tanaka was my fucking shield? Nooo! Fraudjo, comeback!
I took a deep breath and let it out.
"Mother, Father." I addressed them formally just to show how serious I was. They straightened up, hope coming to their eyes as they saw my confidence. "Say no. They can't force this. Financially I got us covered. Five years. If you can hold on for that long, there's nothing they can do." I only need one, maybe two years at most.
"What will you do?" My dad asked.
"Become a Special Grade Sorcerer. Regardless of whether they give me that title or not, if I become that strong, there's nothing they can do to me or to you or the clan."
"Hime." Dad smile, with near teary eyes.
"Hime-chan!" Mom just moved and hugged me.
Time for training plus ultra!
But first I need to call Mei Mei.
Ring-ring.
Ring-ring.
Click.
"It's going to cost you."
"Hello to you too, Mei Mei. And of course you know, right?"
"Congratulations on your betrothment, when's the wedding?"
"Haha very funny. Look, I'm willing to pay... 100,000 Yen to start a rumor that the Gojo Clan is looking to engage me to their White Whale."
"Ganjo? Bold choice. Didn't know you liked them that rounded."
"Wha? Who? No! I'm talking about Satoru, obviously!"
"That's not gonna stop their attempts."
"Yeah, but it will keep them busy enough long enough for me to graduate while focusing on getting stronger. Then I can deal with them."
"Hmm... 1 million."
"Are you fucking insane? I'm asking to start a rumor, not to actually arrange something! 200,000 and this is basically stealing at this point."
"800,000 and for a rumor to be credible enough to be taken and treated seriously as something real, require finesse, skills and lots of connections."
"300,000, you Gold-Gold Fruit maniac."
"Ah, if only Devil Fruits were real. Actually I don't recall that one being in canon. 700,000."
"It's a movie only, I think-Look, let's just call it an even half a mil, and both of us be reasonable and satisfied with that... I can't fucking believe I'm treating half a million yen as something casual."
"Welcome to the Money Side of the Force."
"Something like that must never exist!"
In the end, I paid half a million yen just to start a fucking rumor.
Thankfully, the Zenin while pissed at my family's rejection, were now a bit more busy to bother me.
"Hello! I hope we'll work well together from now on. I'm Zenin Mana. Nice to meet you, Mei Mei-sama, Iori-senpai." The brown haired girl in a combat-made kimono, bowed to both of us.
"Nice to meet you." Mei Mei said with her usual plastic smile.
"Y-Yeah, same." I'm pretty sure this girl was not in our class. But looking at the assistant director of our school, and he saw all of this as normal. Heck, he was the one who brought her here.
"I'm honored to be in the same team as two Semi-Grade 1 Sorcerers. You two are so talented, I hope I can keep up." Mana said cheerfully.
"Well since you were assigned by the principal and the higher-ups," I gave the assistant director a glance, and he nodded. So this is really happening. "I'm sure you'll fit right in."
"Thanks!" She smiled widely, before looking bashful. "Gosh, to be with someone as talent as Iori-senpai, it's almost like being in the same room with someone approaching the talent of Naoya-sama."
...Huh?
"Errr, what? Naoya? ...As in the heir of the-"
"Yes! The great, talented and extremely handsome Naoya-sama. The future of the Zenin Clan! By the way, what do you think of him, Iori-senpai?" Mana said with intense cheerful interest.
Ooooooh fuuuuck me!
