1 week later

I gave a cry of pain as a pincer struck my side, cutting into my body's flesh. My dragon arm came down on top of the pincer and bit down, locking it to me and preventing my assailant from running, or guess it's scuttling. Whatever, same difference really. I raised my axe up and roared as I slammed it down onto the head creature. This caused the carapace to let out a nasty cracking noise as the creature roared in pain.

My axe came down again and severed the claw piercing me at its joint in one mighty cleave, freeing the beast from my grip and sending it scurrying back. I jumped after it with a mad desperation born of being absolutely terrified.

There was no life or remorse behind those beady eyes.

My draconic foot stomped down on one of its legs, breaking the appendage and staggering it again. I grabbed my axe's head with my dragon hand and jumped again, this time slamming down on top of its head and using both arms to follow through.

With my full weight behind the axe, I crushed its head it's in completely, carapace shattering as the meat beneath was pulped.

I was left standing over top of the dead animal, breathing raggedly as I rode out the adrenaline.

I rued the day I had cracked that joke about the crayfish. These lobster lookin bastards can all go straight to hell.

Armored from head to claw, fast as fuck when they wanted to be, and they can sit back and snipe with jet spray from their mouth like they were Pokémon using a sick and demented form of hydropump.

That's not even a good analogy. Just saying that they are snipers armed with 50 cals would fit better.

I had lost one of my smaller arms to a blast that cut through the flesh like a buzzsaw while running for cover from this particularly pissed off crustacean. This place really was a fuckin death world.

Fucking lobsters, man.

I had finally found something that I hated more than Gostoc. Truly their most impressive feat.

I curled my tail under my legs and sat back, resting my axe straight upon the ground. My wounds were superficial, but I was damn tired. This fucking swamp was never ending. It was going to take me at least another two weeks just to make it to the locked academy entrance, and that was if I cut out any stops between then and now.

I had been sustaining myself thus far with supplies I looted from the carian outpost I had come upon when trekking down the terrain and into the swamp.

The unsuspecting cuckoo knight and the paiges he was with were in no way prepared for me to come barreling into their camp. I grafted the knights arms and took all their shit after I killed them.

An entires camps worth of supplies for just myself could go a long way when I was already foraging my own shit along the way, but I was running out. A week in the wilds had me longing for the creature comforts of home.

It only made me move toward my goal of the academy faster. Two weeks was too long for my impatient self. Especially considering those were my nice, hopeful estimates.

The reality was I had no idea how long it might really take. There was no way of telling how else I might be slowed down on the way to my destination. There was still plenty of shit between points A and B that wanted to kill me.

Then I'd have to go get a key for the academy, and there was only one I knew about that I could actually get my hands on.

I stood up from my spot on the ground, the reminder that I was still in the wild with deadly shit motivating me to keep moving. I let out a sigh as I trekked forward, stepping over the crayfish corpse and grabbing it with my dragon maw to drag behind me as I continued trudging ever forwards.

At least I had a fun new thing to try out grafting ideas with.

It felt like I was walking for hours before I came across a dilapidated shack, an ex-con sitting outside of it next to a cooking pot filled with boiling prawn and crab. I could tell that because he was wearing a prisoner mask, but also because I recognized Blackguard big Boggart.

The man bolted upright at my approach, and kept extra tense as I approached.

"Oi, the fuck you lookin at? You tryna start somethin?" He called out to me. To the man's credit, there was only the slightest bit of waver in his voice.

I ignored his question and asked one of my own. "You got room in that pot for a little more?" I asked him as I dragged the carcass behind me forwards.

The prisoner stared at the dead animal, then looked back to me.

Then back to the animal.

Back to me.

"Marika's tits you must be 'ungry" the man said.

I chuckled . "Like you wouldn't fuckin believe. I've been living off soldiers rations all week." I told the man.

The man didn't relax, so I held up my hands in surrender and gestured towards the dead crayfish.

"If you cook this up for me in your pot you can have as much of the damn thing as you want" I offered.

I didn't even care about grafting this thing anymore. Not since the smell of delicious seafood had wafted into my nose. I only had one concern on my mind right now.

The man regarded me for a second before relaxing. "Never met someone with a taste for prawns I couldn't trust. We'd make good mates I reckon. Names Big Boggart" he told me.

I curled my tail under my legs and used it as a chair, sinking back and letting my weapons fall to the side, then angled my dragon head so it would be facing away from the man and his shack. "Godrick the Grafted" I introduced myself.

This drew a reaction from Boggart.

"No shit? I couldn't tell that one, mate." He said sarcastically, "Thought you were one of them big fancy shardbearers, with a castle and all that." The man continued as I ripped off one of the crayfish's legs and handed it to him for the pot. He added it in and skewered a cooked piece, which he held out for me to take.

I did so happily. "Still am" I told him as I ripped into the seafood. "A shard-bearer that is, I ditched the castle" I said after swallowing the seafood.

"Now why would you go and do somethin' like that? Castle is worth a lot I reckon." The man asked as he bit into his own piece.

I snorted in contempt for castles everywhere. "Big ole deathtrap is what it is. Every dumbass tarnished and their grandmother coming kept showing up to try and take my head. Better off on the move."

"Suppose there's that." the man conceded. "Pretty sure it's your Great rune they were after. Not sure anyone would want your ugly mug" then man ribbed.

God how long had it been since someone actually busted my balls? When had I last seen my friends? Had it only been a week? How did time even work in a situation like this?

I laughed, genuinely. "Pretty sure at least half the lands between genuinely wants my head on a plate."

"All that grafting probably didn't help ya much there, mate." He snorted.

"Oh, cause you tarnished are just fonts of proper upstanding morals" I ribbed back, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth.

My new buddy laughed. "Ha fair enough! No name shitheads, the lot of us." He tapered off in a chuckle.

"How does someone even get the name 'big boggart'" I asked him. I was actually curious about that one.

I could hear the smirk in the man's voice. "That's a question your better off askin your mum about."

Holy shit, a yo momma joke!

Truly, I had found a kindred spirit.

We continued shooting the shit for a while, plucking off more and more of the crayfish to add to the pot. Eventually we got back on the topic of castles and lordship.

"Cmon mate, you tellin me it's really not worth it being in charge of your own castle?"

"I'm telling you man, they are just oversized deathtraps, especially these days. Can't defend em worth shit, they're so old they're practically crumbling away. Plus, you're thinking of being charge and telling all the shits under you what to do, right?" I asked.

"Yeah? What of it?" Boggart asked.

"Think of every shithead knight and noble you've ever had the displeasure of meeting" , I told the man. When it looked like he was considering I continued. "Now imagine having to spend all your time around those people. Wrangling all those little shits into doing their jobs right all day everyday."

The man pulled back. "Fuck, that's a good point. Job like that would drive me spare."

"Yeah, sounds nice at first cause you get to be in charge of em, but it takes about 20 minutes before you wanna lose your own head" I told him before biting into another prawn. I cut another leg off the body next to me and offered it to the man.

"Thanks mate" he added it to the pot. "So what you doing all the way out here then?"

"Making my way for the academy" I told him as I took another bite. This man knew his stuff. Maybe it's because I was eating those rations all week but this seafood is fucking superb. If I could Introduce this man to crab fry seasoning he'd have a business.

"The academy? Was never a fan of those creepy magic types. You going for the great rune up there?"

"Yup" I told him, popping the P. "Gonna get rid of all the creepy puppet fuckers and take it for myself."

"Yeah? How'd you plan on doing that?" Boggart asked.

I looked down at my dragon arm, then looked over at the dead crayfish. Then I looked back to the man. Raised my eyebrows with a shit eating grin.

"Heh, fair point mate. Never did have any skill for any of that fancy magic shite."

"Never had a chance to learn with how things went, but I was actually supposed to go to the academy. Before the shattering, I mean." I told him.

The man got real quiet, perhaps as he realized just how old I actually was. Then, our silence was broken.

"What was it like?" Came a meek female voice. That was definitely not Boggarts voice.

We both whipped our heads around to see a very young blonde hunchback staring at us. I recognized her as Rya.

"You again. The hell do you want, ya creepy bitch?" Boggart evidently recognized her too. Guess he already took her necklace than.

"I did not pose my question to thee, thief." She bit out at Boggart. Then she dramatically turned her cheek away to face solely towards me. I stared at her in bewilderment.

I guess she had already talked shit to boggart before, and knew there wouldn't be any repercussions? Bit strange otherwise. Just randomly coming up to antagonize the criminal who robbed you. At least, I assumed that was the case.

"What was the world like before the shattering, my lord?" She asked me, eyes wide and earnest. Why, if I didn't know what she actually was under that disguise I might actually feel something for her.

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Tell you what, I'll answer that question if you answer one of mine. What are you?" I asked her. I wanted to see if I could get her to show her scales in public.

The girls pale skin went even paler.

"I- Whatever do you mean, my lord?" She backed up a pace.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Girlie, there's no way you can fool me with that form of yours. What are you really?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow. Total bullshit, but meta knowledge was awesome!

"Y-you can tell!?" The girl stuttered out in shock, shuffling back two steps. For a second I thought she was going to run. Here, time to change the tone.

"Course I can tell. Check this shit out" with that I slipped on the mimic veil, turning into a woman about their height.

Rya's eyes had widened and she let out a shocked noise. I struck a pose.

Big Boggart did a spit take and got up from where he was sitting to jab a finger at me. "No fuckin way!"

I laughed and pulled the veil off my head, returning to my real form and reclined my tail as I sat down. "Yes way. Gotta fit through doors somehow when your built like I am, yeah?"

Big Boggart stared at me for several seconds before he started trying and failing to contain laughter "You mean to tell me every time you have to fit through a doorway you turn into some tiny blonde twig of a woman?"

"Yup" I told him, popping the P, before biting into another piece of prawn.

"You're…like me?" Rya questioned, like she was having a revelation.

oh boy!

"That depends, are you a disgusting freak of nature born from the sins of wretched underneath that disguise?" I raised an eyebrow at her. The girl looked hurt at that, before her face screwed up.

"I am not a freak of nature!" She whined.

"Then what are you?" Boggart asked, voice gruff. She looked troubled by the question.

"Cmon", I cajoled her. "I'm a grafted abomination, whatever you are can't be worse than that. You don't even have to drop the illusion, just say it."

"I-I" she fidgeted.

"Come on creepy, do it and I'll even think about giving you this necklace back." He caught on and gave his own 'encouragement'.

"I" she paused, "very well" she sighed. I smiled. Gaslighting wins the day!

She rolled her hunched shoulders before taking in a deep breathe. Then she dropped her illusion and revealed her true form.

I blinked. It wasn't as creepy looking as I'd thought it'd be, but I hadn't expected her to whip it out either. It caught me off guard.

Boggart on the other hand, didn't know and wasn't prepared. "Shit!" He cussed as he jumped back, quickly on his feet and in a fighters stance.

I on the other hand hadn't reacted. It wasn't anything worse than what I'd seen and done so far in the lands between.

"I expected a reaction such as that one from a man such as he" she spoke, ignoring the muttered 'bitch' from boggart, "but you… you don't find this form repulsive?"

I gave her an incredulous expression and then gestured down at literally all of me. "Um. woman, have you seen what I look like?"

She giggled at that. "I suppose that's true, my lord".

Then there was silence as we all kinda just… stared at eachother.

"So your a serpent of the manor.." I mused for lack of some better shit to say. Actually that gave me an idea.

"Oi, Boggart." I got the man's attention and pinned him with a steady look. "Give her back that necklace."

The man got defensive. "Oh, so she shows some scales and suddenly your on 'er side?" He demanded.

"Boggart" I said firmly leaning over to look him in the eye. "I'm not looking out for her mate. I'm looking out for you. She's the daughter of the leader of the volcano manor up on gelmir" I told him, a serious frown on my face.

That meant something to him. He froze, and I could hear the shakiness of his voice when he replied. "What?"

"Her mother is the leader of the volcano manor up on Mount Gelmir. It's a den of some pretty vile people, especially coming from me. I've heard some rumors about the kinds of things your fellow tarnished get to up there." I said to him.

"I know what it is mate." He cut me off vehemently, "I can tell you it's more than just rumor." He spoke grimly. He ran a hand over his headpiece as if scratching his hair in frustration.

"Are you sure about the girl's mother?" he whisper shouted at me.

Before I could reply, Rya confirmed that fact for me by asking me a question. "You know lady Tanith?" She asked me. I turned back to her as Boggart let out a curse behind me.

"We crossed paths once or twice back in the day, but I wouldn't say I know her. Only thing I know about her besides her name is that she's the praetors consort." I told her. That was the general gist of what Godrick knew. Course, he'd have probably talked about how many people she might have spread her legs for as a foreign dancer, but I had a little bit more class than that.

Just a little.

"Oh fuck me" I heard Boggart say to himself in response to that. "Oi, Girl" he spoke up.

Rya slipped back into her human form and looked over at Boggart. "Yes, thief?"

Boggart glowered, but fisted his hand into his pocket and pulled out a fairly pretty necklace. "I give this back to you, and you don't tell no one about me, yeah?"

Rya actually straightened up just a tad so she could look down her nose at him. "Hmmph! I suppose that will do."

He fisted the necklace over to her and then went and dropped back into his spot, grumbling to himself all the while. I couldn't blame the guy. If I found out my easy mark was actually well connected to a cult of personality with professional assassins working for it I'd be pissed too.

Especially cause the recusants were all a bunch of psycho torturers with a fetish for cannibalism.

I watched Rya's nose twinge, "And a piece of your supper."

"Oi! Your pushin it lass. Just cause I ain't gonna shake you down doesn't mean you can have my prawn!" He shot back, hands moving protectively over his cooking pot. Rya went to respond, but I saw this as my chance.

"Here" I interpreted, and cut another leg off the crayfish,"cook this up for her"

Then before the man could protest I turned to Rya. "Girl, if I give you that meal, you agree not to tell your mother that Godrick the Grafted is running around Liurnia. Deal?" I asked her.

She smiled a mischievous smile, like a child about to play a fun prank. Perhaps that's how she saw it. "Deal" she nodded with a bounce. If I hadn't seen her turn into a man-serpent 5 minutes ago I'd even say it's cute.

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me for this one mate. Yahear?" He groused at me.

I laughed at the blackguard. "Yeah yeah, one day when I take back the mantle of lordship you'll have a nice plot of land all to yourself."

"Fuck yeah."

"As long as you agree to cook this shit for me everyday in my kitchens" I gave him a smug look.

"Fuck off."

We started laughing at each other, and even Rya joined in giggling.

We ended up chatting well into the night sitting around a fire, feasting on boiled prawn and giant crayfish. Rya properly introduced herself, and I answered her questions on the lands between. It was the best night I had in the lands between since my arrival. Hell, for Godrick, this was probably the best day he had had ever.

My good mood would later be brought down by a fact I should have already remembered, but had to learn again when I tried to graft the crayfish claw to my body and found no successful way to do it.

Crayfish were arthropods.

I stared down at my reflection in the water, my golden eyes shining like two dots in a mirror as I though about drowning myself. "You are such a dumbass."

New friends have been made, and an important piece of information is learned.

Fuck giant crayfish. All my homies hate the giant crayfish.

Ended up releasing this jawn today. A more action packed chap awaits finalization for Tomorrow. Hope it was enjoyable.