Chapter 66 – Perseverance

It was early in the evening and Ryouji Kaji stepped through the main entrance of the Nuovo Casino in Chisinau, wearing a fancy suit he'd purchased with government funds as soon as he and Fujita left the airport. He would have preferred to have gotten a room in another hotel but the PSIA had set him up within the Leogrand and adjoining casino complex. It made sense considering it would mean he would be in close proximity to his target but it also increased his and Fujita's level of risk. Then again, if all things went to plan then they wouldn't be here very long. All he had to do was focus on the plan...

Fujita wasn't with him presently but he was nearby, skulking around the perimeter to look for egress routes they might be able to use once they apprehended Laurent. Therefore it was up to him to identify the target among all the patrons of the casino. He still found it rather funny on a certain level that SEELE's second in command would be mingling in the open like some kind of movie villain but then again the easiest place to hide is in plain sight. Perhaps if Kolinski had taken that approach, along with not telling his butler where he was going, things would have fared better for that prick..

He stepped up to the front desk and since he didn't speak a lick of Romanian he used a small book of phrases he'd purchased at the airport in order to check in. With that out of the way it was on to the casino floor to attain visual confirmation that the target was there...

From the dossier he'd read on the plane, apparently the man was very adept at Hold Em Poker. Those tables seemed as good a place as any to start his search... but there were many tables and many floors to scour in this complex. It was an easy task in theory but a hard one in practice, considering all the patrons of this place.

"Kaji, did you get in okay?" Fujita's voice sounded in the earpiece he wore as he neared the first poker room.

Kaji observed his surroundings carefully to make sure no one was watching him. As he made his rounds of the first floor the only table games seemed to be Baccarat, traditional five card Poker, and Stud. Most likely the target wasn't here but that didn't stop him from making sure before moving on. "Smooth sailing so far," he whispered out in response as he walked. "How are things on your end?"

"Not the greatest," Fujita replied. "I've circled the building three times already and I can't identify a single stealthy egress. This place is busy as hell, and right in the middle of the city. Black bagging this asshole will be one thing, getting him out will be another..."

"Well you'd better come up with a game plan," Kaji replied. "If my ass is cooked it's on you, remember that."

"I hope it's a tasty, seasoned rump roast," Fujita quipped. "But seriously, this is going to be harder than the boys in Tokyo 2 think it will be..."

"You expect anything less?" Kaji hissed as he made his way to the elevator with the intent on going to the second floor, unwilling to acknowledge the homoerotic jab at his expense. "You're a field guy like me, figure it out!"

"I'll do my best," Fujita responded. "Don't get yourself in too deep..."

"Yeah..." Kaji replied softly as he reached the elevator. "Now shut up..."

"Fine, fine..." Fujita huffed. "Going dark..."

Kaji shook his head as he pressed the button for the second floor and leaned against the back wall of the elevator. For better or worse everything was up to him now. Just like always, the ball was in his court and he had to play it his own way...

The elevator doors opened and Kaji stepped out. This area was a bit dimmer in its lighting in comparision to the first floor. He proceeded to do a sweep and again there appeared to be no Hold Em games being played upon careful inspection. No one matched the description of the target at any of the tables either. On to third floor it was. While that floor contained more poker tables, this time some patrons were playing Hold Em, but his target wasn't to be found.

As he repeated the process of waiting for and getting in the elevator for a third time he prepared himself to be disappointed yet again. Part of him was starting to think that perhaps Japanese intelligence was wrong and that Kolinski had told the truth in Italy... but when the doors opened he immediately saw him. In direct line of sight to the elevator was a poker table and a man seated there matching Laurent's description to the letter.

From a distance, Kaji studied him. This man possessed the same gray hair with a tint of blonde, the long, thin nose, the large wire rimmed glasses and sunken cheeks. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that this was Laurent and it made him smirk. Either Kolinski was lying to protect him when he'd told him he was in Moscow or he'd just made something up to save his own skin. "I've found him..." he murmured softly.

Kaji's hidden earpiece crackled to life once again. "Positive ID?" Fujita asked. "Are you certain?"

Kaji continued staring at the man second only to Keel in SEELE's leadership, trying his best to suppress his feelings of rage and burning hatred. There wasn't a doubt in his mind. "Completely..." he replied quietly. "I'm watching him fritter away money at a poker table as we speak."

"Good, we know he's here," Fujita responded, breathing an audible sigh. "I say we meet at the room and game plan our next move."

He knew that his comrade was probably right about that but part of him couldn't resist sitting down at the table and trying his hand at a game. Perhaps he could ingratiate himself with his foe and potentiality ascertain the location of his room in the process... "I'm going to join the game," he stated softly as he stepped forward.

"Are you fucking crazy!?" Fujita hissed in his ear. "What did I tell you about being reckless!?"

Kaji sighed. "I know what I'm doing..." he muttered under his breath.

"Look, I know you probably like to think you're James Bond, but you are not, in fact, James Bond, double-o-dipshit..." Fujita grumbled. "What do you have to gain from this? What do we have to gain?"

"We still don't know what room he's in," Kaji replied. "Perhaps I can gather some clues? Perhaps we can shorten this endeavor."

Fujita huffed in annoyance. "I know I can't stop you..." he grumbled. "Don't endanger yourself or the mission."

"I won't. Kaji out," he responded quietly as he reached up and removed the earpiece from his ear, stuffing it into his pocket swiftly without breaking stride. However, as he approached, he finally took note of the rather imposing individual standing just behind Laurent and to his left and hesitated.

This man was built like a stack of bricks, had a face like a bulldog, and stood at least one hundred ninety centimeters. So this bastard had himself at least one bodyguard... smart. If Laurent was alone it would be one thing to sit down and play but knowing there was a henchman present, who would clearly take note of his presence and be a threat, made him rethink his choice. Fujita was right... he really was being reckless again.

It was then that Laurent looked up and stared him directly in the face. "Excuse me, friend, are you lost?" he asked in perfect, if accented, Japanese.

Shit... there was no turning back now. He had to at least be cordial and not act suspicious. "I'm not," he replied. "And how did you know I was Japanese?"

"A lucky guess," Laurent responded, lifting up a mixed drink and taking a sip. "I'm a gambling man and I seldom lose."

Kaji eyed his rather small stack of chips and smirked. "The chips in front of you and around the table say otherwise," he replied calmly.

Laurent's smile grew as he stared up with wolf's eyes. "Perhaps you'd sit with my little group and join the game then?" he returned softly. "The buy in is one hundred thousand leu."

Though it was tempting, he was certain that his agency would be rather displeased if he lost them three million yen over a game of poker. "I'll politely decline," Kaji responded with a polite bow. "I'll be continuing on my way now."

Laurent opened his mouth to respond but before he could he covered his mouth and began a fit of hacking, wheezing coughs. Kaji watched as the henchman set down a bottle of prescription pills on the poker table and Laurent unscrewed the bottle instantly. He popped a pill into his mouth and swallowed it with the help of the mixed drink he was sipping on. "I'm curious, since I don't see many Japanese nationals around, are you here for business or holiday?"

"Business," Kaji replied. "I figured I'd enjoy the attractions before returning home. You?"

"Holiday, one that I hope will last," Laurent stated evenly. "How are you enjoying it here in Chisinau?"

"I find it rather charming," Kaji responded. "It's rather quaint compared to Tokyo 2."

"I can imagine it must be," Laurent stated. "By the way, I didn't catch your name."

"Kintaro Oe," Kaji returned flatly. "And yours?"

"Jacques Laurent," he responded. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Kaji smiled. "And you as well," he returned.

The older man's lips curved upwards. "I always enjoy meeting new people," he stated. "I hope that you'll join me for a game soon."

"I will consider it," Kaji replied.

Laurent gave a kindly nod of his head. "Well then, Oe-san, have a good night," he returned warmly. "Enjoy the casino."

"And you as well. Enjoy the casino," Kaji responded before continuing on his way through the room, trying to make it look like he was originally headed in the direction he chose to walk.

Eventually he made his way to another elevator shaft and took the ride up to the floor his room was located on. Only upon exiting and finding himself alone did he pull the earpiece out of his suit pocket. Before he even set it securely in his ear he could hear Fujita swearing at him. "You stupid bastard!" came the torrent of insults. "You son of a bitch dumb bastard! Are you still at the table!? Why the hell aren't you responding, you John Clark wannabe!? If you're already dead I'm going to shit on your tombstone!"

"Relax," Kaji hissed. "I didn't join him for a game. I'm heading to the room now..."

There was a pause. "Well, that's good I guess..." Fujita huffed. "How much of that did you hear?"

Kaji chuckled in response. Typical Tetsuo that kind of response was... "Enough of it," he replied. "Might be difficult to do the last one because I'd prefer cremation."

Fujita breathed a heavy sigh. "Sorry about that one..." he muttered. "So what happened? Did he see you?"

Kaji grimaced. "Yes," he responded quietly, pulling the key to his room out of his pocket upon reaching said lodging. "We had a short conversation."

Fujita sighed once more. "This could complicate things..." he murmured. "Do you think he suspected anything?"

"That's difficult to tell," he replied as he opened the door of his room and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him immediately afterward. "Most likely we have nothing to worry about. Did you find a mode of egress that we can get him out of this place without being seen?"

"That's a negative," Fujita responded. "When and if this happens it's going to be difficult. The only thing I can think of is calling the Americans and having them send a stealth chopper to the roof."

Kaji sat down on the bed and lit up a cigarette. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now let's get some sleep. Get up here before I nod off, okay?" he replied.

"Roger that," Fujita returned. "Over and out."

"Over and out," He replied before removing the earpiece from his ear and setting it on the bedside table.

Kaji flopped back on the bed and breathed a heavy sigh as he took in the interaction he'd had with SEELE's second in command. He'd showed a bit of restraint but he'd still endangered their mission. Hopefully there would be no complications but Fujita was one hundred percent correct that he could very well have caused problems once more. Only time would tell if that was the case. One thing from his conversation with the target lingered in his mind though...

Why did Laurent have that coughing fit and what were those pills that he was taking?"


When Maya awoke in the morning her head was spinning and her stomach was churning. What happened last night? It was all a blur of fragmented images. She remembered that she'd been out with Shigeru a few towns over to a bar where she'd watched him play music but the rest was a little fuzzy. How had she gotten home? And what was the warm object pressed up next to her?

She rolled over and her eyes went wide from shock at sight of what, or rather who, was laying beside her.

It all came flooding back to her and her cheeks filled with fire. That was right... she'd invited him in to her apartment last night, one thing led to another, and well, this was the result. The memory seemed like some sort of dream, she'd never believe it if he wasn't still there asleep beside her. This wasn't good, well, it was good, the sex was that is, from what she remembered of it at least, but had they used protection? Also, she was never the type to just sleep with anyone, especially a coworker. What had gotten into her? What did it mean?

She flinched when he began to stir. Sluggishly he reached up and cupped his forehead in his hand, wincing as he did. "Aw man my head hurts..." he groaned as his eyes fluttered open. Then his gaze met hers and he stared at her slack jawed like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uh... morning?" he uttered.

Maya looked away from him and drew her knees up to her chest, pulling her portion of the blankets tight around herself as her blush intensified. It would be really nice if he could stop looking at her, even if there was nothing to hide that he hadn't seen... "Morning..." she murmured in response.

A hushed silence hung in the air. Eventually Shigeru was the one to break it. "Did we..." he spoke out, trailing off before finishing the question.

"Yeah..." Maya responded quietly. "Looks like we did..."

"Ah..." he muttered quietly. "Sorry I got a bit carried away..."

Maya turned to face him, finding him looking away from her with a frown. "Wh- what are you sorry for?" she stammered out. "I- I mean... so did I..."

He breathed a heavy sigh and sat up beside her, turning away and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. "I know you're right... but it was still a mistake..." he replied bitterly. "I took advantage of you, so... sorry..."

Maya bit her lip and looked down at her knees. Was that how he felt? Why did he feel that way? She was the one who invited him into her apartment after all. Heck, if she was remembering things right, she was the one who started things after he was there... "Y- you didn't take advantage..." she murmured in response.

"Still..." he scoffed. "You gotta admit this is awkward, right?"

"I- I uh... yeah..." she stammered in response. "Still... i- it wasn't like it was bad..."

He uttered a wry laugh and shook his head. "Well that's a relief I guess," he muttered. "I mean... you did seem like you were having a good time..."

The fire in her cheeks returned. She had, but saying it like that made her feel dirty. "Sh- shut up!" she croaked out.

He let loose a quiet laugh but it wasn't malicious, rather it was somewhat contemplative, somber even. "You're cute when you're upset like that..." he stated quietly.

That just made the heat in her cheeks worse. "Shut up..." she murmured.

He chortled again, his back still turned to her. "You're just making my point..." he muttered softly.

Silence fell between the two of them yet again and only now was reality really starting to set in for Maya. They'd slept together, and they were coworkers, and he'd just called her cute. Everything was in such a mixed up order. A few weeks ago he was just that cynical long haired guy she called a casual friend and now here they were naked in her apartment. What was the right thing to do now? What if she was pregnant now? Good heavens she didn't want to even think about that possibility but if she was then that would absolutely ruin her chances with a girl or guy in the future. She didn't want to even think about that possibility. Still... having seen the sensitive side of him, if this wasn't just a one time thing, she wouldn't mind that necessarily... "So... what happens now?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know..." he replied, hanging his head. "I mean... that's kinda up to you, right?"

Her brow furrowed. Why was he having second thoughts even now? Why did he have to let his cynicism dictate everything in his life? Did he just not want to be happy? For that matter, why did that make her so upset? Until a few weeks ago she'd been hung up on Dr. Akagi after all... "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean we can forget about this if that's what you want," he replied. "I won't be mad..."

Maya frowned as her stomach tied itself up in a knot. She found her inner strength and grabbed Shigeru by the shoulder, forcing him to turn around. "Don't talk like that," she responded firmly.

He regarded her with an expression of surprise and bewilderment. "Wh- what do you mean?" he stammered in response.

Her heart was beating fast but she wouldn't back down. "If something happens, you have to take responsibility," she responded flatly.

His eyes widened and then he glanced away from her with a sheepish grin. "I uh... I suppose you're right," he replied. "Not that I'd mind... so... I guess... we could... see where this goes?"

Maya smiled. "I wouldn't mind that," she replied warmly, reaching down and giving his hand a squeeze.

Shigeru glanced at her momentarily, the ghost of a smile emerging on his features. "Hey, uh..." he murmured softly, looking away again. "Can I... kiss you again?"

Maya's heart skipped a beat. Such a timid yet forward request for him to make, especially after how quick he'd been to pull away. It made her want to dig deeper with him, to find out what made him tick, even more eager to see where this tryst went. It also excited her. Maybe... maybe she could end up being that one person he could put his trust in. Maybe... maybe he could be the same for her... "I wouldn't mind..." she replied, mirroring his words from moments before.

He turned to her and reached out, gently cupping her cheek with his hand before leaning in and kissing her.

Her heart was beating fast. Her eyes drifted closed. This level of tenderness was something she'd never would have expected from a man like him. Instinctively she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back deeply. Yeah... whether this was just some fling to cope with the hell she'd endured during the invasion or something more, one thing was certain...

She definitely wanted to see where this went...

Shigeru pulled away from her, breaking the kiss but resting his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling away. "For the record, I did wrap it up..." he murmured.

Maya's cheeks flushed yet again. "Do... do you have another?" she asked quietly.

Shigeru's lips curved upwards...


As Rei awoke she took sight of the ceiling above her head and smiled. The light was shining through the window, the morning glow was cast over her like a bright new beginning, and the familiar ceiling above her head filled her with joy. This wasn't a dream or an Angelic power induced fantasy... this was her life now, and that was so incredibly joyful.

She rose from her futon and stretched her arms to the sky, taking in the beauty of the morning for a moment before rolling up her futon and stuffing it in the closet. Once she did she left her room and made her way down the hall to the bathroom. It would seem that no one else was awake at this hour but she didn't mind it too much. It allowed her to take a morning bath in peace.

After using the toilet she stripped down and turned the water on in the tub, her joyful smile never wavering... until the pain struck her As she leaned over the tub with her hand on the valve, she felt a pain in her lower abdomen that she'd never experienced before. It felt like a muscle cramp but unlike any muscle cramp she'd ever had before. Her eyes screwed shut from the pain. What was this horrible feeling?

After a moment the pain diminished into a dull ache that was much more manageable, still painful, but manageable. Most likely it was just the aftermath of Misato's cooking from the previous evening. She made a mental note to remind her new guardian that the average person's tolerance for curry was much lower than hers before sitting down in the bath.

After cleansing herself thoroughly she stood up from the tub and drained the water. She'd hoped that the warm water would relieve her abdominal discomfort but it didn't, at least not as much as she'd hoped it would. She got dressed and left the bathroom and when she entered the kitchen she found Misato standing by the coffee maker munching on a piece of toast. Of course she'd be doing that... "Morning, Rei," she greeted her cheerfully.

She was chewing so loudly. It was most annoying... "Good morning," Rei replied.

Misato took another bite of her slice of toast. Every single chomping sound she made only served to annoy Rei further, though she tried her best not to show it. "Sleep well?" her guardian asked.

Rei nodded her head. "I did, yes," she replied.

Misato smirked. "Shinji didn't sneak into your room, did he?" she drawled softly.

That comment set her cheeks aflame. It was a pleasant image for sure, but in her current state of annoyance she protested to her guardian's teasing perhaps a bit more vigorously that she usually would have. "No!" he hissed, balling her fists at her side. "For your information, he did not!"

Misato recoiled at her vigor. "Woah, take it easy, I was just joking..." she responded timidly, putting her hands up, that blasted piece of toast held high. "I know by now Shinji wouldn't really do that..."

Rei scowled and looked away, her heart still beating fast. "Then why do you keep implying such things?" she huffed in annoyance.

"Well... it's kinda funny," Misato responded, taking another annoyingly loud bite of her slice of toast.

Rei scowled and took a seat at the kitchen table. Perhaps it would have been funny is she wasn't the subject of the teasing. "I'm not amused..." she grumbled in reply.

"Yes, but I am," Misato jousted.

"Morning..." a groggy voice cut in before Rei could make a frustrated response.

Rei pivoted around and found Shinji standing in the entrance to the kitchen, yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes. Instantly her mood brightened upon seeing him there. "Good morning, Shinji," she greeted him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough," he replied with another yawn. "Is there coffee ready?"

"I already brewed a pot," Misato replied warmly. "Surprising, huh?"

Shinji doddered into the kitchen with another yawn and sat down at the table. As he did he looked in her direction. "Hey, Rei," he greeted with a smile. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well enough," Rei replied. "You?"

"Okay I guess," he replied. "I think I stayed up a bit too late after you went to bed."

"And what did you stay up doing, huh, Shinji?" Misato cooed softly.

Rei whipped around to face Misato with a glare as her face flushed with flame yet again. "What are you getting at!?" Shinji exclaimed in righteous indignation.

"Yes, what are you getting at?" Rei hissed, her fists balled at her side.

Misato once again put her hands up in mock surrender. "Man, you guys need to chill out!" she responded. "Come on, I can't help but have a bit of fun, especially with how cute you both are!"

Rei looked away, trying desperately to hide her blush behind her bangs. "Shut up..." she huffed.

"Yeah, shut up..." Shinji added.

"Fine, fine..." Misato sighed, a playful smirk remaining on her features. "Doesn't change the fact that you're cute and quite easy to screw with..."

Things quieted down after that exchange. A breakfast of toast was had, coffee was consumed, and overall it turned into a rather pleasant morning, if not for the abdominal cramps Rei suffered throughout. Small talk was had and buttered toast was consumed. Eventually Misato rose from the table after finishing her cup of coffee. "Well, I'll be leaving for headquarters soon. There's still a lot of things to oversee regarding the rebuilding process," she stated. "Are either of you two coming with me today? Or would you rather hang out here?"

"I think I'd like to relax here," Shinji replied.

"I concur," Rei stated softly. "I'd prefer to remain here."

Misato smiled. "I can understand," she replied as she set her coffee cup atop the counter and moved to exit the room. "I know you guys probably need a break after all you've been through."

Once Misato exited Rei looked to Shinji who turned to her with a grin. "So, if we're both sticking around here, what do you want to do?" he asked. "Maybe we take a spin with one of Asuka's gaming consoles?"

"Sure," she responded with a warm smile. Any excuse to spend time with him was a welcome one. "That sounds pleasant."

Shinji's smile widened. "I'm glad," he responded.

Both of them stood from the table after that and while Shinji moved toward the living room Rei headed toward the toilet, feeling the need to relieve herself after consuming her morning coffee with her breakfast toast. The moment she sat down to relieve herself she looked down at her undergarments in utter bewilderment.

They were stained with blood...

Rei tried her best not the vocalize her shock at this development. She'd known that, considering she was fully human now, that she should expect a menstrual cycle now, but it still took her by surprise. Unfortunately for her she didn't know in the slightest how to manage such a thing as she'd never needed to worry about it until now. At least it explained the pain in her lower abdomen.

After finishing her business she rummaged through the medicine cabinet and found a box of Misato's or Asuka's feminine pads, set one inside her underwear, and dressed herself swiftly in an attempt to contain her embarrassment. The only thing on her mind was speaking with Ritsuko about this development. As much as she wanted to stay at home and play video games with Shinji this development was something she couldn't ignore. She needed advice on managing this new condition and there was only one person she trusted enough to speak on the issue...

After finishing her business she burst into the kitchen in time to find Misato entering from the living room fully dressed in her NERV uniform. "Is something wrong?" she asked, regarding her with a perplexed expression.

It was then that Rei realized just how fast she was breathing and how fearful she must have looked in that moment. "I'd like to come with you to NERV," she stated after taking a moment to collect herself. "I'd like to speak to Ritsuko-san about something."

Misato's brow furrowed in concern. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

Rei shook her head. "No," she responded, only telling half the truth. "I just want her advice on something."

"Should I tag along?" Shinji piped up from the entrance to the living room.

Rei turned to him with an apologetic expression. Normally would want to be near him regardless of most circumstances... but this was not most circumstances. "No," she responded with a nervous smile. "I'd just like to speak with Ritsuko-san alone. I'll be back here as soon as I've spoken to her, okay?."

Shinji seemed a bit puzzled but ultimately responded positively. "Alright," he replied. "I guess I'll see you sometime in the afternoon. Besides, it'd be nice to have a bit of time to myself. You know how that can be, right?"

Rei nodded her head. "Yes," she responded. "Indeed I do."

"Well, if we keep standing here talking then I'm going to be late," Misato stated softly. "Come on, Rei, get your shoes on and lets go."

Rei wasted no time in doing just that...


As soon as he heard the mechanical door at the entrance to the apartment close Shinji breathed a heavy sigh. He was glad that Rei wouldn't be spending the entire day at NERV, hopefully, but it was still a little disappointing to see her going without him. At the same time, he hadn't been lying to her when he mentioned he glad to have a day at home. As nice as it was seeing Touji or Asuka it was still a little depressing. With the house to himself he could decompress a little bit... and plot his next move.

He moved to the living room and sat down on the floor, flipping on the television with a blank expression, ready to zone out, but he couldn't zone out. No, there was an issue that hung in his mind that needed addressing, that being the fact that he'd been unable to bring himself to say anything to Rei the previous night.

He'd wanted to, he really had wanted to, but it just didn't seem right in the moment. It was probably the right call now that he thought about it. Misato could have walked in after one or both of them got emotional over it and if that were to have happened he'd never hear the end of it. Even so, the fact that he'd chickened out again was something he couldn't help but kick himself over. He'd gone far too long without being fully honest with Rei and that needed to change.

But when? When was the right moment? An important declaration like the one he wished to make wasn't something one did easily or as a spur of the moment type thing. No... no, he had to plan something, find a time and place away from NERV, away from other people, just to the two of them, so he could air things with her. But how? And where? The majority of the city was one big construction and cleanup site now so that was going to be difficult. It wasn't like he could just take her out for tea or something like that so what could he do?

The answer remained elusive...

Shinji began flipping through channels until he landed on some ridiculous game show program where the contestants had to climb up a slippery staircase. It looked like a re-run of an older program considering the low quality of the broadcast. It was truly mindless entertainment but it was nice to watch anyway. It was a decent break from just how heavy things were at present.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Pen-pen waddling into the living room, a can of Misato's beer tucked under his arm. The bird moved to sit beside him nudged him with his head as if asking him to open the can. "Stressed out, buddy?" Shinji asked.

Pen-pen bobbed his head up and down twice in rapid succession.

Shinji smiled and reached down with one hand, flipping the tab on the can so the bird could enjoy himself. Pen-pen immediately picked the can up with his beak and took a few massive gulps before setting the can back down. It never cease to be just a little amusing at how similar the bird was to his owner in certain aspects. "Good to see you getting back to your usual self," he mused quietly.

Pen-pen looked up and him and cocked his head to the side slightly, almost as if he had some sort of sarcastic response that he couldn't put voice to.

Shinji snickered and looked back at the television, shaking his head. Even if the bird couldn't talk he was so expressive that he sometimes felt he could understand him anyway. "Yeah..." he muttered. "I know... no matter what, everything keeps changing..."


Misato stood on the command deck's uppermost perch, looking out over the crew below, a mug of coffee in her hand and Commander Fuyutsuki standing at her side. Looking down at the level she used to directly supervise she noted that only Hyuga was at his post. She knew that Lt. Ibuki was taking some personal time but Lt. Aoba's absence was a bit strange. Hopefully he was just running a little late. The cleanup and rebuilding required everyone they could spare, whether it was swinging hammers to running computer systems...

"If it weren't for that huge hole in the wall on the lowest level, one would never suspect we suffered a siege," Commander Fuyutsuki mused softly. "It's amazing how quickly things can go back to some semblance of normal..."

"I would agree," Misato replied, taking a sip of her coffee. "It is a bit strange..."

"I must ask..." he continued, speaking softly with a voice of concern. "Do you feel a bit overburdened considering that all three of the children are now under your direct supervision?"

Misato bowed her head. She knew that things were going to get very stressful once Asuka was deemed mentally fit to leave the hospital but she'd cross that bridge when she came to it. It was already bad enough knowing that Rei and Shinji would probably jump each others bones any day now... "It's not that bad," she replied. "They need someone and I'm glad I get to be there for them."

"A noble stance, one that I applaud," Fuyutsuki replied. "Which reminds me, the children should probably return to their studies soon enough, don't you think?"

Misato tensed up. So soon after everything that happened... was that really a good idea? She turned around and faced her superior with a concerned expression "Do you think so, sir?" she asked.

Fuyutsuki shrugged his shoulders. "Eventually they'll have to return to classes otherwise their prospects outside of NERV will be limited, no?" he replied.

Misato would agree that was true... "I suppose so," she responded.

Fuyutsuki smiled. "Well, then you'll be pleased to know that I've taken the liberty of negotiating entrance for them at a junior high school a few towns over," he replied. "They'll be starting classes next week so that will give them plenty of time to prepare."

Misato scowled in response to that information. Perhaps it was her sense of protectiveness speaking but the fact he'd gone behind her back to set up such at thing didn't quite sit right with her. "Are you certain the school you enrolled them is the best pick?" she replied in a huff. "I can't help but feel like I should have been consulted in the decision, sir..."

"A number of students in their former class attend the school which was settled on," Commander Fuyutsuki responded evenly. "Myself and the relations team I consulted deemed it would be a good environment for them considering they'd have peers they're familiar with."

Misato bit the inside of her lip despite her scowl remaining. "Still, it would have been nice to be consulted on the matter..." she huffed.

Fuyutsuki offered her an apologetic grin. "Well, for that I apologize," he replied. "I acted in a manner I thought was best. Please, don't take offense."

Misato sighed heavily and stood silent for a moment while she mulled things over. "It does seem best," she replied softly. "Still, I would have preferred to be consulted as their guardian and supervisor."

Fuyutsuki nodded his head. "Perhaps I overstepped," he returned softly. "My apologies."

"Apology accepted, sir," Misato replied quietly. After a moment of pause she spoke again. "I suppose I'll be in charge of procuring the new uniforms the children need?"

"NERV with handle such things," Fuyutsuki returned evenly. "Just worry about your duties in helping to rebuilt Tokyo 3 and taking care of those kids."

Misato gave a respectful if begrudging nod of her head. "Yes sir..." she replied.

Moments later the sound of a mechanical door snapping open caught her attention. She turned around and watched as Lt. Aoba burst onto the deck, his uniform unbuttoned, and his hair looking more disheveled than usual. "Oh, so Lt. Aoba decides to grace us with his presence..." she called out from her perch with a scowl. "You're late..."

Aoba stood stock still a meter away from his post and turned to face her with a nervous expression on his face. "I apologize, Vice Commander," he responded sheepishly. "I had some commitments that kept me."

Misato glared down at him, studying his expression intently. She knew all too well the look of a man who'd had a good time the previous night and was trying his best to hide it. She could thank Kaji for that... "Long night last night, Lieutenant?" she asked, her lips curving upwards as she did.

Lt. Aoba flinched visibly but regarded her with her with a stony expression regardless. "I will neither confirm or deny, Vice Commander," he replied.

Misato sighed and shook her head. And on top of everything else she was dealing with discipline was slipping among her subordinates. Great... "Just get to your station," she ordered. "And don't let it happen again."

"Yes ma'am," he responded, snapping a salute as he did. She watched him struggle with the buttons of his uniform and shamble into his seat and shook her head. What a day this was turning out to be...


Rei knocked on the door to Ritsuko's office and took a step back, desperately hoping that she would answer the door. The abdominal cramps she was experiencing were very unpleasant and only exacerbated by the car ride to NERV headquarters. Part of that she chalked up to Misato's aggressive driving style but it didn't change the fact that she was uncomfortable and presently bleeding from a rather embarrassing place...

It probably wasn't more than a few seconds but it felt like an eternity before Ritsuko opened the door and greeted her. "Hello, Rei," she spoke, regarding her with a concerned expression. "Is something wrong?"

Rei grimaced and looked down at her feet. She'd been wearing her nervousness on her sleeve, hadn't she? "May I come in?" she asked.

Ritsuko stepped aside and gestured for her to come inside. "Of course," she replied with a smile. "Come in, come in."

Rei stepped inside in a hurry and took a seat in the folding chair Ritsuko kept in her office for her as another abdominal cramp caused her to wince in pain. "Thank you for seeing me..." she murmured softly.

Rei met Ritsuko's gaze and watched as the faux blonde's brow furrowed. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Are you in pain?"

Rei nodded her head in the affirmative. "Yes..." she replied quietly. "I am..."

Ritsuko moved to her desk and took a seat in her swivel chair, scooting over to sit close to her and took her hands in hers. "What is it?" she asked. "Is it your stitches?"

Rei shook her head and bit her lip, unsure of how to voice her embarrassing predicament. "No, it's not my stitches..." she murmured in reply.

"Then what is it?" Ritsuko asked, her tone full of concern.

There really was no way to say it without embarrassing herself was there? "I'm... bleeding... from... you know..." Rei murmured in response. She just couldn't say it. It was far too embarrassing...

Ritsuko inhaled sharply and Rei could feel her tense up from her grip on her hands. "Oh..." she replied softly after a moment of pause. "I see... Yes... That can be rather uncomfortable..."

Rei looked up at her and met her gaze to find a sympathetic expression on the faux blonde's face. "Is there something wrong with me?" she asked nervously. "Is this normal?"

Ritsuko's lips curved upwards and she gave her hands a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Unfortunately, yes, this is a normal thing, if you're referring to menstrual cramps and bleeding that is," she replied.

Rei grimaced and looked away from her with an embarrassed blush. Sure, it was the anatomical term for what was happening to her but it didn't make it any less awkward. "Is there anything that I can do for the camps?" she whispered softly, inwardly lamenting her ignorance on the matter at hand. "How long does this go on for?"

Ritsuko let go of her hands and Rei listened as she rummaged though her desk. After a moment the faux blonde placed a pill in her hand. "This will help," she replied softly.

"What is it?" Rei asked softly, looking up to meet her gaze once more.

"Ibuprofen," Ritsuko replied. "It will help to alleviate the pain from the uterine cramps. As for how long things might last for you... well... every woman is different."

Rei popped the pill in her mouth and swallowed it. "What do you mean?" she asked, that last statement of Ritsuko's having made her curious. "What do you mean that every woman is different?"

Ritsuko gave her a sympathetic look. "Every woman's cycle is different," she replied. "For some the pain is mild, for some it's severe. Some bleed for only a day or two and some bleed for more than a week."

Rei grimaced and looked down at her knees. She certainly hoped that her cycle would be the former instead of the latter. It was already uncomfortable enough in the moment that the idea of it lasting an entire week was very displeasing. "That's... good to know..." she returned quietly.

Ritsuko walked over to her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "All of us girls were there once, where you are right now," she stated warmly. "It's just a normal part of growing up."

Those words struck her and a smile began to work its way across Rei's lips. Ritsuko had a point. This was just another part of what it meant to be a normal human girl. In that light, if the discomfort associated with this particular bodily function was just another consequence of her choice to continue living and become human, then she could accept it gladly. Besides... knowing the evolutionary purpose of such things, knowing she was no longer sterile, brought her a small amount of joy. "I suppose you're right..." she murmured softly.

There was another short pause before Ritsuko spoke again. "Well... in light of all this, I'd strongly recommend going out and purchasing some feminine products at your nearest convenience. I'll give you some of mine before you go. That should hold you over for your first cycle," she stated quietly. "It usually comes around the same time at monthly intervals so you'll need more next month."

Rei looked up at her and issued a grateful nod of her head. "I would appreciate that," she replied.

Ritsuko's expression became a lopsided, sheepish smile. "I... I can also provide you with a box of... prophylactics," she stated awkwardly.

Rei tilted her head to the side and regarded her closest confidant with curiosity. She knew that word but she wasn't sure what was trying to be said. What good would preventative treatments do when she was actively experiencing menstrual symptoms? "Prophylactics?" she asked.

Ritsuko stared back at her, her expression turning a bit more serious. "Condoms..." she replied quietly.

Rei's eyes went wide and her face filled with with flame. Why did she have to say something so forward and embarrassing? "Sh- Shinji and I aren't like that!" she stammered out in protest.

Ritsuko stepped back and folded her arms across her chest, that awkward smile remaining. "Rei, we both know how you feel about that boy," she stated softly. "And I'd be willing to bet that he feels the same way about you. It's best to be ready and take precautions accordingly."

The fire in her face intensified with that statement. Her heart was pounding fast. Rei looked down at her knees and shifted in the chair nervously. Why were certain scenes from that dirty light novel have to flood her mind at a time like this? "Th- thank you b- but... can we change the subject?" Rei stammered out quietly.

"Of course," Ritsuko responded warmly. "I know this is a lot to take in... by the way, how is your back?"

Rei reached up over her shoulder and rested her fingers on one of the scars over her clothes. Now that she thought about it, her wounds were no where near as tender as it was even a few days ago. "It's a lot better than it was."

"That's good," Ritsuko replied warmly. "Still, the stitches should stay in for a few more days."

Rei frowned. It would be nice to finally be rid of them already. "They really do itch though..." she returned quietly. "Are you sure it's necessary to wait?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Ritsuko replied. "I know it's not fun to have it looming over you but I'm only trying to do what's best for you and I always will."

That made her smile. "Thanks, Ritsuko-san," Rei returned warmly.

Ritsuko regarded her with a smile of her own. "What's family for, right?" she responded sheepishly.

This. This type of care, love, and support was what family was truly all about...


Asuka trudged slowly though the halls of NERV's medical wing on her way to Dr. Samson's office for her scheduled session with him, her lips curved down in a frown, her eyes cast to the white tile floor. The last conversation she'd had with him, where she'd come to his office after their session was already over the previous day, was something she'd been playing over and over in her mind ever since it happened. She'd mulled over what it meant to let go of all her baggage but she didn't see how that was possible. That baggage and pain was what had driven her for so long. It was practically who she was. How could she let it go? Was it... right to let it go?

She supposed she'd just have to talk with him about it, the smug bastard...

Soon enough she reached his office and stepped inside. He was at his desk waiting for her. "I'm here, Doc," she stated simply, lethargically.

Dr. Samson linked his fingers together and set his hands atop his desk. "So you are," he replied. "Please, take a seat."

Asuka did as instructed without protest and at down on the couch in his office, staring down at her knees, saying nothing.

A moment of silence hung in the air but eventually Samson spoke again. "Your demeanor is different in comparison to yesterday," he stated quietly. "Have you given our last conversation any degree of thought?"

Asuka tensed up, digging her fingers into the bottom of her medical gown. No matter what, even if this was ultimately helping her, she hated being analyzed and scrutinized... "I... I have..." she murmured in response.

"That's good," he returned quietly. "Would you like to share your thoughts?"

She did want to share her thoughts but that didn't mean it was an easy thing for her to do. "Yes..." Asuka murmured in reply.

Silence fell in the room yet again before Dr. Samson spoke again. "I know that these things can be difficult," he stated quietly, warmly even. "There's no shame in taking your time."

Of course he would say something like that, the manipulative prick. No... no... she wouldn't let that get to her today. He was trying to help. She had to remember that... "I... I have to find a way to let things go..." she responded in a meek whisper. "But I don't know how... I feel trapped..."

"Why do you feel trapped?" Dr. Samson pressed.

Asuka shifted uncomfortably and bit the inside of her lip as she tried to put words to the tornado of thoughts and emotions whirling around within her mind and heart. She took a deep breath and let it out in an attempt to steady herself before biting the bullet and speaking. "I just... I don't know," she replied, looking up to meet the shrink's gaze. "I know that I need to let go of all the shit that's happened to me, that I need to forgive myself for failing over and over and over again but... I don't know how. All the horrible shit that happened to me since as long as I can remember, all that damage... well... that's me, right? That's who I am... and how do I let that go, huh?"

Dr. Samson's lips curved downward. "Is it really who you are?" he asked. "Or did that damage, as you put it, push you into being the person you are?"

Her eyes went wide and her lips parted in surprise. She wasn't expecting such a question to be levied in her direction. Why couldn't he just tell her what to do or suggest coping mechanisms or anything? She scowled at looked away. "What's the difference?" she huffed.

"You know what the difference is," Dr. Samson stated in response.

Asuka glared at him. This was infuriating. "Why can't you just give me a straight answer?" she spat.

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Asuka, I've said it before, I'm here to guide you your own conclusions," he replied evenly. "Now, please, answer the question at hand if you can."

Asuka grit her teeth and balled her fists against her knees as she bowed her head and stared down at her feet. Of course he'd force her to make the distinction herself. She took a deep breath and focused on what he'd asked; was she her damage or had her damage made her who she was? She thought hard on that question. She supposed that if her damage was who she was then there was no possibility to change anything. It would be out of her control to do so. If her damage had made her into what she was then... perhaps she could break the cycle. She wanted to do exactly that... but she didn't feel like she deserved to, even now. "I'm not my damage..." she murmured softly. "It just made me... and as much as I want to move on I don't know if I deserve to."

"Okay, we're getting somewhere now," Dr. Samson replied. "You acknowledge that your baggage has made you who you are but there is more to you than just your past pain and mistakes. Now let's dig deeper. Why do you feel like you don't deserve to move on from the pain that anchors you to the past?"

Asuka squirmed in her seat and a pesky stinging feeling began to manifest behind her eyes. She hated just how uncomfortable these talks could be... but she knew she needed to push through them if there was any hope. She had to get out of this damn hospital... "I... don't know..." she murmured.

"Asuka, deep down you do," he pressed her. "I know you do. It's obvious from all the things you've told me during our sessions."

Did he actually know or was he just saying that to get her to come up with the answer? She supposed it didn't matter. She drew a shaky breath and probed her own mind, trying to understand what he was trying to tell her, what he was trying to push her toward...

She squinted her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling as she poured over her memories, reaching for understanding, trying to connect them to the question he asked. Why did she feel that way? Well... when she dug deep into it, it was probably because she'd tried her best to make her mother, or the idealized image she'd had in her head of her mother, proud. It was because she'd tried so hard for so long to be better, to distinguish herself... and she'd failed, over and over and over again. She'd tried to pivot away from that, to actually let people in, and all that got her was more pain. It seemed like a vicious cycle that she'd never escape so she might as well accept it... "Because it seems like no matter what I do I end up in the same place over and over..." she whispered in reply. "I always end up letting myself down, letting other people down, or losing the things and people I care about..."

"And yet you got back up each time," Dr. Samson stated flatly. "Don't you think that counts for something?"

Asuka's breath caught in her throat. As much as she was afraid or reluctant to admit it he was right... "I guess..." she muttered after a moment of pause.

"Okay, let's keep going," Samson continued. "Is it possible that what you're experiencing is simply confirmation bias? Is it possible that you've, due to trauma, set unrealistic standards for yourself?"

Asuka tensed up and balled her fists yet again. "I was living up to them," she growled before she could get control of herself again. That wasn't the full truth. No more lies. She couldn't lie to herself anymore... "For a little while..."

"I will give you that," Dr. Samson returned. "However, you're still dodging the more important question. Don't you think that the fact you continued trying after so many failures counts for something?"

Those words smacked her like a hammer striking a nail. She wanted to think it counted for something but it was such a hard thing to accept. The fact she'd kept trying for so long even though she kept failing at life didn't mean she didn't fail... "Do you think it does?" she asked meekly, daring to make eye contact as she did.

Dr. Samson smiled and issued a slight nod. "Yes," he responded flatly. "I think it does."

That horrible stinging in her eyes began anew and her throat began to close up. She squinted her eyes shut and bowed her head. Did he really think that? It was such an overwhelming feeling to know that someone actually thought her efforts weren't for nothing, to be be validated in such a way. Even so... even so it just didn't feel right to think so. Even if her battles weren't for nothing it still didn't matter. She'd still pushed away or outright lost everyone and everything she'd ever cared about so what was even left? "What's the point of rebuilding my life when I'm basically starting again from scratch?" she whimpered softly.

"You can choose to look at it in such terms," Samson returned quietly. "Or you can look at the brighter side of things."

"What bright side?" Asuka asked bitterly.

"The fact that, if you can move past the pain of your past, you have a clean slate upon which to build your sense of worth," he replied. "A chance at lasting happiness. Doesn't that sound preferable to wallowing in depression?"

Asuka drew a shaky breath and let it out, the tears welling up but she refused to let them fall. She'd done too much of that lately. "It... it is better..." she murmured. "But... I still don't feel I deserve it."

"Asuka, you're talking in circles," Dr. Samson chided. "Let's keep moving forward. Why don't you feel you deserve happiness?"

Asuka bit the inside of her lip and squeezed her eyes shut so hard it hurt as she thought back to her mother and then to Kaworu... She refused to cry again. She couldn't. She wouldn't. "Because I miss my mom..." she croaked, horrible truths spilling out of her mouth and heart. "I miss Kaworu even though I know what he was. Being happy feels like I'm forgetting them, like I'm leaving them behind. If I... if I move on then... what will I have left of them?"

"Do we need to talk about the grieving processes, about the stages of grief?" he asked.

Asuka bristled, angry reigniting within her. Such a condescending thing for him to say... "I know about the stages of grief!" she hissed.

"Then you know that the final stage is acceptance," Dr. Samson replied.

"I've accepted that they're gone!" Asuka howled, glaring at him through misty eyes. "That doesn't mean I don't wish they were still here! It doesn't mean that I should just magically be fucking happy again!"

Samson leaned forward on his desk, bringing his hands to rest under his chin, regarding her intently over his interlinked fingers. "Have you considered that the people you're grieving for would want you to be happy?" he asked.

Instantly all the clouds of fire and venom swirling in her chest dissipated, leaving her only with the cold, hard truth of those words. As much as she didn't want to acknowledge it, deep down she knew... she knew that her mother and perhaps Kaworu too would want her to be happy even if they couldn't be there to share in it. With that all her walls broke and she threw herself forward, cupping her head in her hands as tears exploded out of her. "Dammit..." she whimpered. "God fucking dammit..."

Asuka didn't know how long it was that the shameful tears were pouring out of her but it couldn't have been long before she felt a hand rest against her shoulder. She flinched at the touch and looked up to find Dr. Samson looking down at her with a sympathetic smile. He held out a box of tissues for her to take. "Here," he stated warmly. "It's okay to let it out."

Asuka snatched the box of tissues from him put one to her nose, blowing a shameful blast of snot into it. "I- I know you're right..." she whimpered, unable to suppress the sobs and choked breaths. "It still hurts..."

Samson gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I know..." he replied. "But I think that today you've made a great first step toward overcoming your issues."

Asuka looked up at him again, an almost pleading expression on her face. "R- really?" she croaked out quietly.

"Yes," Samson returned, looking down at her with a smile. "I think you've had a breakthrough, Asuka..."

Asuka looked away from him and wept into her clenched fists. "Fuck you..." she huffed defensively before calming herself down enough to really respond. "Do you... do you really think so?" she asked.

"I do," he replied. "I think you've taken a great first step in becoming a new, healthier, happier you. Now the question remains... what do you wish to do with yourself? How will you go forward in processing your trauma?"

"I don't know..." Asuka whimpered, glancing up at him between sobs. "I guess... I guess I'll have to cope with it and keep going... like I always have..."

Samson's smile grew. "Yes..." he returned warmly. "That is a very good start."

Asuka's brow furrowed as he tears began to slow. "So what now?" she croaked. "Wh- what do I do now?"

Dr. Samson shrugged his shoulders. "That's up to you," he responded warmly. "However, I can offer you some coping strategies if you're open to them."

Asuka's breath caught in her throat. "I... I would like that..." she murmured.

"Then I shall provide," he replied.

Asuka slowly composed herself, stemming the flow of tears. "Does that mean I get to go home?" she asked even though deep down she knew the answer...

Dr. Samson shook his head. "No," he replied. "But if you can prove to me you're working on yourself I might be able to sign a release soon."

"Soon?" Asuka pressed.

"Soon," Dr. Samson replied, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze once again. "You're a smart kid and you're strong. I believe in you."

Asuka bowed her head once more. "Thanks..." she murmured softly.

"Now the question is..." Samson spoke. "Do you believe in you?"

Asuka took a deep breath and let it out. Slowly a smile wormed its way across her face. Considering all the things he'd made her face, if there was anyone who could make her face down the challenges ahead of her, it was herself and her own will...


Ritsuko sat in her office smoking a cigarette and staring at her computer monitor, playing over in her mind the conversation she'd had with Rei earlier in the day.

It still felt a little surreal that she'd had to have the conversation with Rei that she had. When she'd come into work she'd never expected that she'd had to reassure Rei and comfort her regarding her first period. There was a time when she'd never believed something like that regarding the pale girl would have been possible at all. Still, she was flattered that the pale girl had come to her for council on such matters. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. To know that Rei trusted her with such an intimate function was such a fulfilling thing.

She couldn't help but flash back to when her own mother had given her a similar talk, how clinical and cold she'd been, how absent of care her explanation of anatomy and physical function was. She hoped that her own explanation was more nuanced. She hoped that she could be a better mother to Rei than her own mother was to her...

Ritsuko's breath caught in her throat. It hurt... it hurt to know that without even thinking about it she'd surpassed her own mother in so many things that mattered. It hurt to realize that she wanted to be a mother to Rei and yet she'd sent her to live with Misato in spite of that. She loved Rei like a daughter and she was long past denying it at this point. It hurt to know that she was being supervised by someone else other than herself...

But what could she do? Out of precaution or perhaps out of longing she'd rearranged everything she could in the last few days within her apartment in case she needed to take her in but even now she was uncertain of her capability of doing so. The memory of how her own mother had left her to fend for herself most days weighed heavy. If she were to continue her path as a scientist there was no way to be a mother... right?

She took a deep drag from her cigarette and let it out slowly...

No... no that wasn't true. That was just her fear guiding her, the fear of becoming just like her own mother was. It was a fear that she'd let control her for so long. It was a fear that she didn't want to let dictate her actions any longer. Sure, she was busy with the research and development that she was tasked with but she'd still managed to find time today to help Rei with her issue. Perhaps she'd been too hasty in thinking she wouldn't be able to handle being her primary caretaker...

She leaned back in her chair and hung her head over the back of it, staring up at the ceiling and blowing a plume of smoke skyward as she did. "What would you do in my place, mom?" she murmured softly.

Ritsuko knew full well that nothing and no one would answer. She'd only voiced it just to hear it from her own lips and imagine the response her mother might have given. Her mother would probably tell her that what she'd chosen was the best possible outcome and that she was doing everything she could for Rei. Then again, her mother was not one to talk when it came to matters of that poor girl...

"What should I do... Gendo?" whispered out to the ceiling.

Again, she sat in silence as her own words echoed in her ears. What would Gendo think of her now? If only he'd known just how deep her love for Rei had become would he be okay with her choice to send her away? She'd been the only person he'd trusted to care for her when he'd been too afraid to or simply unable to. It wasn't a great thing to go by all things considered but wouldn't he want Rei to be with someone more responsible than Misato?

The last conversation she'd had with him played over in her mind. She remembered that look on his face before he went to his death. Even if he didn't love her in the way she wanted him to that look showed her that he did care for her. That said... if he really did care for her... then it was logical to think that he'd want her to happy. If being a mother, a real mother, to Rei were to make her happy wouldn't he be supportive of that?

She shook her head and scoffed as she brought and arm up to rest her forearm over her eyes. Regardless of whether or not it would make her happy or if it was the right thing the matter was decided for the time being. Perhaps she'd have the opportunity to reconsider her choice once Asuka was discharged from the hospital but the odds of that were slim. Besides... it was Rei's choice at the end of the day and she could understand why she'd want to be close to Shinji even if that was a bit problematic.

"I messed up..." she muttered to herself. "I really did..."


Rei sat next to Misato in the cabin of the latter's car as they made their way back to the apartment the two of them called home. She was much reassured in regards to the issue she'd come to NERV to discuss and she was looking forward to spending the evening with Shinji.

"So, did you talk with Ritsuko about whatever it was you needed to talk about?" Misato asked.

Rei clutched the small bag of feminine products she'd be given by Ritsuko tightly in her hands and nodded in the affirmative. "Yes," she replied.

"That's good," Misato returned warmly. "I'm glad you're able to talk with her. I've known Ritsuko a long time and she's probably the most level headed person I know for better or worse."

Rei smiled. "It's a quality of hers that I very much appreciate," she replied.

There was a brief pause before Misato spoke again. "So... what was the issue you wanted to talk with Ritsuko about, huh?" she asked.

Rei tensed up, unsure of how to respond. It was incredibly embarrassing but she was pretty sure Misato would continue prying until she found out the truth. "I uh... I had some questions regarding bodily functions," she responded meekly, glancing over at her guardian nervously.

There was another pause and Rei watched as Misato's eyes widened. "Oh..." she replied. "That time of the month, huh?"

Rei cringed and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Was she really this transparent now? "Wh- what makes you think that?" she croaked out nervously.

Misato chuckled softly. "First time, huh?" she teased.

Rei scowled. As much as she appreciated Misato she really could be a pain in the ass... "Yes..." she hissed. "And what gave it away?"

"Well, you did seem a little short this morning," Misato returned. "It's okay though. Us girls have all been there. It's awkward no matter how old you get."

Rei bit her lip and looked down at her knees, shifting awkwardly in her seat. "I suppose that's a small comfort..." she muttered softly.

"Well... it's normal," Misato replied. "It's just a normal thing for a girl to have to deal with."

Rei bit her lip and clutched the bag she'd been given tightly. Slowly she glanced back to the rear seat of the car and noted the large plastic bag sitting back there. She remembered Misato loading that into the car when they'd met up in the parking garage and, in desperation to change the subject of conversation, she dared to inquire as to the contents. "What's in the bag in the back seat?" she asked, turning back to her guardian.

Misato smiled a wan smile. "Oh..." she responded. "I think it will be best if I explain once we're back home since it concerns both you and Shinji."

That sounded concerning. What could be so important that she wasn't willing to explain until they got home? "Oh... okay..." she murmured in response. "I'll wait then..."

"Don't worry," Misato replied with a laugh. "It's nothing bad. I promise."

Rei frowned and glazed out the window of the car. Regardless of what the change at hand was it was still a change and she had enough of sudden change lately. She could only hope it wouldn't be another life altering one...


Shinji had spent the majority of the day loafing about, listening to music, and watching television. As such, he was bored as hell after spending the day alone. That said, when he heard the telltale sound of the apartment door opening it came as a massive relief. It also filled him with a small bit of satisfaction in that he'd perfectly timed cooking dinner with when his loved ones returned home... "Welcome home!" he called out from where he stood in the kitchen overseeing a pot of ramen.

"Hey Shinji!" Misato cried out from the entryway. "Dinner smells good!"

"Dinner smells good..." came Rei's voice softly afterwards.

Shinji smiled wide as he awaited them to enter the kitchen. As much as he enjoyed cooking regardless he still took a bit of pride that Rei enjoyed his culinary creations even if tonight he'd only done the bare minimum. "It's ready when you are!" he called to the entryway as he scooped bowls of noodles from the pot into bowls. "Come and get it while it's hot!"

Before he finished serving up his own platter the two of them entered the kitchen and he took sight of the large plastic bag that Misato carried but he didn't pay it much mind. He was simply glad to have company again. "So, how were your days?" he asked warmly as he set the bowls of ramen on the table.

"My day was okay," Rei stated warmly with a grin. "And yours?"

Shinji smiled at her warmly. That smile of hers... he loved it and hated it in equal measure. It was so beautiful but it also made him so furious with himself that he couldn't figure out a proper time and place to confess... "It was okay," he replied.

"I'm glad," Rei replied with a demure smile.

"Well, well, dinner smells good!" Misato exclaimed as she took her seat at the table, setting down the bag she carried beside her chair. "I hope you made enough for seconds!"

Shinji smirked as he took his own seat. "You know I did," he replied. "Come on, both of you, sit down and eat."

Misato fell upon her bowl like an angry wolf and Rei sat down and began consuming her meal in the manner of the proper lady. Shinji couldn't help but smile at the sight considering how Misato had much more experience with traditional manners. Even so, he was simply glad to have company again and that this was his new normal...

"So..." Misato spoke up as she finished the last of her noodles. "I have some news for both of you..."

Shinji wasn't too worried considering she'd waited until she'd finished her food to tell them whatever it was she wanted to. "Okay, what is it?" he asked after swallowing a mouthful of food.

"Yes, please tell," Rei added softly.

Misato lifted up the bag she'd carried in and placed it on the table. "Well, I think it's obvious that school in what used to be Tokyo 3 won't be resuming anytime soon and the both of you can't just continue on without getting an education," she stated. "So I've enrolled the both of you in a school a few towns over. I have your new uniforms here. You'll start at your new school next week."

"I see..." Rei remarked. "That seems reasonable."

Shinji's lips curved upward into a smile but one tinged with sadness. In the back of his mind he'd known that eventually he'd have to go back to school and in fact he'd missed it. However he'd also come to the realization that whenever that were to happen it would be at a new school with new people and it wouldn't be the same as before... and now that moment was here. It was both hopeful and bittersweet. "Yeah... that's good, I guess," he replied.

Rei seemed to pick up on his inner conflict, looking at him with an expression of concern. "Is there a reason you seem hesitant to attend classes again?" she asked.

Under her scrutiny he couldn't sustain the facade of happiness. "I don't know," he responded as his false grin fell away. "It's just... I know it's going to be different than it was before."

Rei gave a nod of understanding and a reassurance. "It will be," she replied. "But it's also a new beginning, and I'd say that's a good thing."

Those genuine words stirred a feeling of warmth in his chest and his smile returned. "Yeah..." he returned warmly. "That's a good way to look at it."

"Aw, you two are just too cute!" Misato cooed out with a snickering laugh.

Shinji snapped his head around and glared at her. "Would you quit your teasing!?" he huffed in annoyance.

"Yes..." Rei added, sounding nervous. "Please do..."

Misato laughed and put up her hands in surrender. "Sorry, sorry," she replied with a lopsided grin. "Old habits die hard."


Asuka stood in the hallway near her hospital room, staring out the window and enjoying the sunset, something which had become the norm for her in recent days. Usually she came here to reminisce upon or mourn the things she'd lost but today things were different. Today she stood here with a newfound feeling of self acceptance and tenuous hope.

With her session with Dr. Samson hours past and with adequate time to reflect upon it she was beginning to feel confident that she could move forward and move past the burdens she'd allowed to weigh on her soul for so long. It was such a humbling and invigorating thought he'd help implant in her mind, that being her loved ones would want her to be happy, that they wouldn't be ashamed of her. For too long she'd denied that truth. The thought that her mother would only be ashamed of her if she gave up was truly a game changer. The thought that Kaworu would want her to live on without him and thrive was bitter but also hopeful in it's own way.

Still... it wasn't easy to forgive herself for her failures or how terribly she'd allowed herself to act to maintain the false pride she'd projected upon the world for so long. It also wasn't easy to forge a new identity that wasn't utterly dependent on Eva or live in a way where she wasn't setting unrealistic standards for herself, to break with old habits. In the wake of her realizations of the day there was an emptiness, a vacuum, that was left. On the one hand, Samson was right, it was a clean slate upon which to build, but what would take shape there was something she was uncertain of and that worried her.

Oh well... she'd have plenty of time to ruminate on the matter. Right now all she wanted to do was breathe easy and take in the orange glow of dusk to soothe her mind and heart.

"You seem a to be in a better mood than when I saw you last," a voice called out to her on her blind side.

She turned her head to find Touji standing beside her, leaning on a single crutch instead of the two she'd seen him getting around on previously. For what it was worth she appreciated him noticing that she was doing a bit better. "I am," she replied. "Down to one crutch?"

"Yeah," he replied with a grin. "I'm getting my strength back slowly but surely and I don't feel I need both as much anymore."

Asuka noted the sweat on his forehead and smirked. "You're sweating," she remarked, hoping he'd take it as a friendly joust instead of a mean spirited barb.

Touji sighed and breathed a quiet chuckle. "Hey, just because I don't need it doesn't mean it's easy without it," he responded softly. "But if I don't challenge myself then I'll never be rid of the damn things, y'know?"

He had a point in the literal sense but there was a deeper meaning just below the surface that she wasn't certain he grasped but she certainly did. That sense of strength and determination he possessed to overcome and persevere... she couldn't help but admire how he seemed to embody those values. "How do you keep going every day?" she asked quietly.

He gave her a perplexed look. "What do you mean by that?" he responded with a little laugh. "I want to get out of here and get my life back."

Asuka frowned. "I know but, that's not what I mean," she replied quietly. "I mean... how do you find the strength to keep moving forward in spite of what you've lost?"

Touji's eyes widened momentarily before he turned away, facing out the window with a somber smile. "It's not easy..." he returned in a melancholy tone of voice. "Knowing that I'll probably never be able to run and jump or play basketball the way I used to hurts but I'd rather try to bet back as much as I can anyway. Besides, even if it doesn't work out and I'm never back to where I was before then I might be able to do something else, like coach or tutor or something. It's better to try than just let it beat me down."

She wasn't sure what kind of response to expect from him but that one genuinely surprised her. It was one of acceptance of loss yet hope that said loss wasn't the end of the world, drawing strength from it instead. It was something to be admired... and if he could do such a thing then so could she. There was also the note about coaching a sport he most likely would no longer be able to play and that struck a chord. Perhaps one day she could find herself being able to put her experiences both with NERV and with life into practical use in a way that could help people. Maybe... "That's a really good way to think about things..." Asuka voiced softly.

Touji emitted a quiet, wry chuckle. "Yeah, I guess," he scoffed. "Still, it would be nice if they could let me do it at home instead of keeping me in this place."

"Yeah..." Asuka replied bitterly. "Trust me, I know. They're treating me like a belong in the loony bin. At least you don't have to deal with that."

"That's true..." he returned quietly. "But there's a few things we can probably agree on about why this place sucks. I mean, with just the hospital food you could make a whole list of things to bitch about."

Asuka chortled softly. "You haven't had to eat Misato's cooking," she quipped with a smirk.

Touji raised an eyebrow but didn't look in her direction. "That bad, huh?" he inquired incredulously.

"You have no idea," Asuka replied.

Touji sighed. "My dad's cooking isn't the greatest either," he returned. "I doubt hers is worse than his."

That comment sparked an ember of her old competitiveness to come to life. "I'd bet money she is," she dared him.

He laughed softly. "No thanks, I don't take sucker bets, he replied. "Besides, shitty food or not, it's better to be at home than here. Getting out of this place is all we should be focusing on."

Her smirk evaporated, replaced with a bitter frown. "Easy for you to say when you don't have a shrink prying into your head about anything and everything," she scoffed.

Touji turned to her with a dismissive expression. "Oh yeah? Easy for me to say when I spent months in a coma and woke up to my best friend sticking me in the back?" he retorted.

Asuka frowned. He did have a point... but she didn't want to lose this petty argument. "Yeah, I know that had to suck," she replied. "At least you didn't lose an eye though..."

"At least you didn't lose a leg," he retorted.

"Honestly I'd take losing a leg over dealing with this shrink," Asuka huffed. "You have no idea how annoying it is having someone pick apart your childhood and making you feel all kinds of way about it."

"You're right, I don't," he returned flatly. "And I'd take losing an eye over losing a leg. You have no idea how much of a pain it is to have to relearn how to get up from the toilet after taking a dump."

There was a moment of pause before both of them broke out into laughter. Asuka for her part couldn't help but enjoy the ridiculousness of the two of them having a pissing match over who's circumstances were worse and it seemed like felt the same way. In addition to that, the image of him falling on his face after using the toilet was rather funny. "How many times did you smack your face?" she asked as she gathered control over herself.

"Just once," he replied as he too regained his composure. "But that was enough."

"Wow," Asuka returned, unable to stifle one last chuckle. "That's actually really embarrassing."

"Oh it was," he replied, snickering at his own expense one last time as he did. "But like everything else, you pick yourself up and keep going."

"Yeah..." Asuka returned, glancing out the window once again. That was something she was still getting her head around, picking herself and carrying on... "I guess so..."

There was another moment of silence that hung heavy in the air between them. The both of them took in the scenery and just as Asuka was starting to think about walking away Touji spoke up again. "Hey... what about another bet?" he asked.

Asuka regarded him with curiosity. "A bet over what?" she inquired.

He turned fully away from the window and looked at her with a smirk. "Let's see which one of the two of us gets out of this damn hospital first," he replied with a grin. "The winner gets to lord it over the loser for as long as they want."

Whether he was making the wager out of genuine competition or simply for her sake it was a gesture she appreciated. It also kindled her inner fires. Even if it was something as dumb as this she'd missed having an opportunity to prove herself. "What, you don't think I'll be out of here before you?" she teased with a smirk.

That shit eating grin of his never wavered. "I never said that," he replied as he extended a hand to her. "But I guess we'll see, huh?"

Asuka's grin widened as she reached out and shook his hand. "Oh, we'll definitely see," she replied. "I'll be out of here long before you are."

As the two of them released their grip and pulled away Touji nodded. "Time will tell, Asuka, time will tell..." he replied as I turned around and began walking away, leaving her alone in the hall. "See ya later...

"See ya later," Asuka replied softly. Part of her wished that he would have stayed a bit longer as she was genuinely enjoying their little back and forth but she didn't protest. After all, clinging on to things and people was what put her here to begin with, and even if she was genuinely starting to care for him as a friend she had to respect boundaries.

Asuka watched him go for little while before turning around and heading in the direction of her room. She shook her head and chuckled to herself as she did. As stupid as it was it felt good letting a little bit of her old self return if only for a moment. It was nice to know that there was a little of her still in there. Then again, she supposed one's nature never really changed, it could only be tempered and molded into a healthier form...

But the answer to how to do that still eluded her...


After returning to his hospital room Touji flopped down on the bed after setting down his crutch, unbuckling the straps that held his prosthetic leg in place, and setting that against the bedside table. He was tired from physical therapy and from pushing himself to walk with just one crutch but his exhaustion was the least of his concern. His most recent conversation with Asuka, along with the time he'd comforted her while she was having a breakdown, kept playing over and over in his mind.

It was so strange getting see such an open and vulnerable side of her. In earlier days when they'd attended school together he could have never imagined that there was more to her than the arrogant, stuck up, bitch she carried herself as and yet there was indeed a lot more to her. Even crazier than that was that they were actually getting along as friends. What was even more striking was just how cute she looked when she was smiling and laughing...

That thought made him grimace. Never in a million years would he have expected to find himself thinking such things about her. What did it mean? What was wrong with him? It was even crazier than the wager he'd made with her to cheer her up. Was it because he was lonely in this place or was it because they really did have a lot in common? They really did have a lot in common in how they carried themselves at least...

He supposed that he'd have to get over Hikari eventually but could he actually see himself with someone like Asuka? Would he be able to handle the mood swings and the temper? Well... Hikari could get fiery at times but that was different... right? He had managed to help Asuka calm down the other day and he did enjoy speaking with her... so...

No. He didn't want to think about any of that, and yet he couldn't keep the thoughts at bay.

Touji breathed heavy sigh as he ran a hand over his face. "Am I seriously crushing on the red devil?" he muttered to himself.

Silence answered him. He welcomed it. He didn't want to hear an answer anyway...

As he lay there he remembered a conversation he'd long ago with Kensuke when they'd been watching one of the Tenchi shows his former best friend enjoyed. He remembered his initial assessment of the two romantic options for the titular character and smiled.

"I suppose space pirates aren't all that bad..." he muttered to himself.


It was early afternoon and Kaji strode through the hallways of the casino hotel on their way to the gambling rooms with Fujita at his side. They'd had a tense night's sleep with the two of them sleeping in two hour intervals. While one of them got rest the other sat awake and prepared for any potential confrontation. Though he felt Fujita was overreacting when he'd suggested such a matter but he also understood that there was a risk he'd been identified by their target and so he'd obliged his comrade. At the same time, this left him fatigued, and that could pose other risks...

"So since it seems we're in the clear for now what's the plan?" Fujita asked quietly.

"The same plan as before," Kaji replied. "We identify the room he's staying in and we figure out a way to get him out of here without raising suspicion."

Fujita breathed a heavy sigh. "And how do you suggest we do the latter?" he huffed. "I told you multiple times last night that will all the foot traffic that's going to be next to impossible."

Kaji scowled. Indeed Fujita had told him again and again that he was certain of that but there had to be a way. There simply had to be... "I suppose we'll have to get creative," he replied. "Do you think it's possible to get some friendly assets to pose as police or paramedics?"

"Unlikely," Fujita returned. "We both know that the various agencies back home are stretched thin."

The two of them reached the elevator at the end of the hall and stepped inside. Kaji hit the button to shut the doors and keyed in the floor he'd seen Laurent at the previous evening. "What about the Americans?" he asked.

"What about them?" Fujita scoffed. "Subtlety isn't really their specialty, no? Every single time those bastards end up operating outside their home turf they find a way to make a big show of it."

Kaji turned to his comrade with a raised brow. "Meanwhile you were the one who suggested calling them to airstrike Kolinski's mansion in Prague," he retorted.

"And after all our time together you still can't tell when I'm being sarcastic," Fujita riposted. "Seriously, Ryouji, I'm disappointed in you."

"And I'm disappointed that we can't call on anyone for help if things go south," Kaji hissed in reply.

"It is what it is, I suppose," Fujita returned glumly. "The Americans have all the money for this kind of thing. The rest of us make do."

Kaji shook his head and sighed. "Then I guess we'll have to improvise just like always," he huffed. "That seems to be the pattern with us, huh?"

"Unfortunately," Fujita replied. "To be frank, I'm getting kinda sick of it, but I digress. Do you have any ideas? Any at all?"

The doors to the elevator opened and the two of them entered the hall outside as Kaji pondered the question at hand. "Of all the egress routes you observed what was the least guarded or visible?" he asked.

"There was one maintenance entrance that could be promising," Fujita replied. "But getting there with a hostage from the inside would be next to impossible unless we got supremely lucky and we managed to kill the camera feeds, which we can't."

Kaji's scowl deepened. "I guess we'll figure out egress once we've captured the objective," he replied.

"And if we capture Laurent without egress what then?" Fujita huffed. "I suppose we could try calling in a chopper to the roof but I doubt we'll be able to make that happen. Besides, if we did it would certainly make international news."

"I suppose we'll just have to come to terms with making a scene," Kaji returned. "One way or another it seems like that's what will happen."

Fujita grimaced. "I don't know what's worse..." he grumbled. "The fact that you're probably right or the hell our organizations will bring down on our heads if you are right?"

Kaji chuckled. "I'd say the latter," he replied. "We might get saddled with desk jobs but we'll be alright."

"As long as we don't end up back in that pitch dark hole in Tokyo 2 again," Fujita responded with a shudder. "Losing track of whether your eyes are open on closed and whether or not its night or day is not an experience I'd like to repeat."

"It's not one I'd like to repeat either," Kaji replied, remembering all too vividly how those few days in the cell after they'd stormed the Ministry of Defense felt like an eternity.

The two of them reached the end of the hall and stepped onto the gambling room floor. "So... do you think we'll find him here?" Fujita inquired softly.

"No doubt," Kaji replied.

"And once we do, what then?" Fujita pressed. "Do we just follow him to his room as discreetly as possible?"

"What else can we do?" Kaji returned.

"I don't like this..." Fujita returned.

Kaji was about to come up with a witty retort but then the voice of a third party rang out amid the clamor of the room in accented Japanese. "Hello there, Oe-san. Would you care to join me for a poker game later today?"

He halted his step and so did Fujita. He turned his head and forced a carefree smile, knowing exactly who it was that addressed him. "Good day, Monsieur Laurent," Kaji returned. "Unfortunately, no, I will not be joining you. My business partner and I are pressed for time. There's much for us to do."

Laurent eyed Fujita with curiosity for a moment before grinning. "Very well," responded cheerfully. "Perhaps another day then?"

"Perhaps," Kaji replied in a cordial tone.

Laurent nodded his head respectfully. "Very well," he returned before stepping past them in the direction of the hall. "Take care."

Kaji turned and watched him go. His bodyguard wasn't with him. Why? It was very curious...

"Okay, as if I didn't have enough of a reason to be nervous about all this..." Fujita grumbled quietly. "What's the plan now?"

Kaji thought for a moment. He supposed they could try the front desk and try asking what room their target was staying in under the guise of some ruse. That said, it concerned him that the giant bodyguard could be anywhere, potentially watching them... "Try asking the desk what room he's staying in," Kaji replied softly. "I'll do a sweep and look for the bodyguard."

"And why would they tell me what room he's in?" Fujita returned with a raised brow.

"I don't know, make something up?" Kaji huffed in annoyance.

"Fine..." Fujita replied with a sigh. "Keep your earpiece in..."

"Will do," Kaji affirmed.

With that the two of them parted ways. Kaji strode through the room, scanning every table, every wall, every egress route for that gorilla of a bodyguard. Considering how much he stood out it wasn't a difficult task in theory. Upon a thorough overview he concluded that the bodyguard was not present in this gambling hall and so he made his way back to the elevator to check another floor.

Again, he began the same process of pacing around and keeping his head on a swivel. Soon enough he found the man in question, standing in a dimly lit corner. Kaji noted how his suit seemed to be very tight across his chest, the top button of his shirt unable to be fastened due to the thickness of his neck. He shuddered to think of having to come to blows with such an animal. He would be completely outclassed. Then, the man turned his head and looked directly at him.

Before Kaji could flash him a friendly smile his earpiece began squealing which caused him to grimace involuntarily. He turned away from his quarry, hoping that ape wouldn't be suspicious. "Kaji, are you there?" Fujita's voice rang in his ear.

"Yes," he hissed through gritted teeth. "What is it? Have you gotten us anything useful?"

"Unfortunately no," Fujita replied. "The desk won't give me anything."

"Well what did you tell them?" he pressed. "Did you remember to use your phrasebook?"

"What do you take me for, a fucking idiot?" Fujita grumbled. "I did, and I told them I'm a business associate. No matter how urgently I tried to make the situation they wouldn't budge. I wouldn't be surprise if the fucker has bought them in an attempt to keep him safe."

Kaji snarled in frustration. "I suppose we should have accounted for that..." he hissed.

"Yeah, I guess so," Fujita replied. "What about you? Did you find that gorilla you spotted yesterday."

"I did," Kaji returned.

"See if you can tail him," Fujita replied. "That's probably our best bet now."

Kaji turned back to where the bodyguard was standing and he was gone. Instantly the pucker factor began to set in. Had he noticed he was being watched? "I gotta go," Kaji stated quietly. "Maintain radio silence."

"Why?" Fujita asked. "Is something wrong?"

Kaji scanned over the room with his eyes. That massive bodyguard seemed to be gifted with a disappearing act... "I'll let you know," he replied. "Get back to the room and sit tight."

Before Fujita had a chance to respond he pulled out his earpiece and stuck it in his pocket. He understood that the damned devices were an advantage in certain situations but he didn't want to risk exposing himself in any way possible. If Laurent's bodyguard was suspicious of him he had to locate him before he reported back to his boss...

He skulked around the room again, scanning every angle, but the man was gone without a trace. Kaji grimaced and shook his head. This was not good. He had to find him and tail him. Could he have gone to another floor? That seemed likely... but first he had to use the restroom. His morning coffee was taking its toll...

Kaji made his way to the nearest restroom and relieved himself at the urinal. However as he stood at the sink washing his hands he took note of the door opening. He looked up and saw that it was the bodyguard for Laurent entering. He didn't know many French words but he decided it was best to be cordial in the case the man wasn't suspicious of him. "Bonsoir," he spoke up with a smile, regarding the man through the mirror before him.

The gorilla of a man said nothing and moved toward him, pausing mere centimeters away from him. Kaji turned around to face the man who was now glaring down at him with a hostile expression. "Is something wrong?" he asked in his native tongue, nervousness overcoming him in that moment.

The man offered no verbal reply and instead thrust his arms out and grabbed him by the neck with both hands, glaring down with murderous intent.

Kaji struggled as the vice grip around his neck tightened. In seconds he found himself suspended in the air, his feet dangling helplessly. His mind raced as the pressure increased. There was no way he could wrench himself free. He had to get creative. He thrust his hands forward and buried his thumbs into the man's eyes with great force, causing him to release his grip.

Kaji hit the floor hard, choking, coughing and sputtering as he did. It seemed that his instincts were correct, that he'd been discovered by his target and now he was forced to fight. With that thought in mind he drew his pistol on instinct.

Laurent's bodyguard closed the distance before he could pull the trigger and slapped the gun away. He found himself pinned to the floor with no possible egress with those massive hands once again around his neck. Kaji struggled and squirmed, reaching for his gun but it was just out of reach. The lights were getting dim and everything was getting fuzzy. He had to do something otherwise he was going to die on his filthy tile floor. Out of pure desperation he punched the man in the side of the ribs and shot his knee up to hit him in the groin at the same time.

The bodyguard grunted noisily and his grip loosened just enough for Kaji to roll away from him. He gasped for breath but he knew he wasn't out of danger yet. He dove for his gun but just as he got his hand around it he felt the henchman's huge hands dig into the back of his suit jacket. Before he could even comprehend what was happening he found himself thrown toward the sinks and impacted one hip first hard enough to shatter the porcelain.

He gasped and sputtered as a stinging pain shot through his leg but he knew if he didn't stand up he was done for. Kaji struggled to his feet right as a massive fist collided with his jaw, causing him to lose his grip on his gun yet again as he stumbled backwards into the door to the hall. He knew he wasn't going to get his gun back, it was too close to the henchman, and so he turned to the door and ran.

Kaji burst into the hall and took off sprinting despite the pain in his leg, knowing that monster of a man would be in hot pursuit. He dashed past a confused looking couple and rounded the corner at the end of the hall to find a stairwell before him. He took a quick glance behind him and sure enough that gorilla was charging for him as he'd expected. He flew down the stairs, jumping all the way to the first landing and continuing on as quickly as his throbbing leg would allow him.

Kaji took that staircase all the way to its lowest level and burst through the nearest door to him after it terminated. The room that awaited him was dark, only lit by the evening sun coming in from the windows through the blinds. This place was filled with large metal shelving units which were covered in parts and tools. This had to be some kind of maintenance storage area he concluded but there was no time to think. All he could hope to do was hide and set up an ambush if he was still being pursued. To that effect he grabbed a large adjustable wrench and crouched low behind one of the shelves.

Sure enough he heard the door open followed by heavy footsteps. He peered through a gap in the shelving and watched as the man moved, studying his stance. Kaji could see the man was holding the gun he'd dropped in the lavatory and seemed intent on hunting him down. This wasn't good. He'd have only one chance to get the drop on him and if he fucked it up it was all over...

Kaji held his breath and readied the wrench in both his hands, cocking it back over his shoulder, his knees bent like a spring. The bodyguard stepped closer and closer to the edge of the shelf. His lungs burned but he refused to make a noise. He listened as the steps got closer, closer, closer... and then he could see the gun appear at the end of the aisle.

Kaji swung the wrench at the man's wrists with all his might, letting loose a wild battle cry. He connected perfectly and the gun clattered away across the floor. He pressed his advantage and whipped around the corner, blindly swinging the blunt implement as hard as he could.

The henchman ducked his strike and so Kaji changed his grip, letting go of the wrench with his supporting hand and taking a backhanded swing. He connected with the side of his opponent's head with a sickening crack. There was a spray of blood and his enemy stumbled backwards. Kaji grinned. The piece of metal he'd hit him with must weigh easily two kilos. No one could stay standing after that... right?

The bodyguard staggered backwards and wobbled on his feet but remained standing, ultimately regaining his balance. His jaw was sitting strangely on his face. It must have been dislocated by the blow. The bodyguard stared back at him with silent anger before reaching up and grabbing his jaw, forcing it back in place with a snap. He then spat out a tooth in contempt before giving him a glare that displayed pure rage. Kaji was utterly shocked. This was no ordinary man, this person was a monster. "Oh shit..." he muttered in chagrin.

The bodyguard lunged at him and Kaji tried to bring the wrench to bear once more with an overhead strike but his opponent was faster, throwing a punch to the solar plexus. It hit him so hard that Kaji was taken completely off his feet and sent careening into a shelf behind him. In spite of the pain and difficulty breathing Kaji whipped his arm around and threw the wrench at the man's head as he stomped up to where he'd fallen. The man simply lifted his arm and the wrench bounced off it as if he were made of iron.

Time seemed to slow. What could he do? How could he fight this demon of a man? He had no idea where his gun went so that wasn't an option. He frantically looked around on the shelf he'd fallen against and grabbed a metal chain. It wasn't much but it could work.

Kaji slung the chain out and snared the man's leg as he stepped closer. As he stood up he jerked it violently and managed to ground his opponent. Wasting no time he dove on top of him and began striking him in the head and neck with everything he had in the vein of a school yard beat down but to no effect. The bodyguard threw one solid right hook, catching him in the ribs and sending him rolling away.

It was then that he caught sight of his gun and he scrambled on his hands and knees toward it. It was no use. He was less than a meter away when he felt a massive weight come crashing down on his back followed by the jangling of chain links.

Somehow Kaji managed to get a hand up between his neck and the chain before the bodyguard could tighten his grip. He groaned and grunted as he struggled to break free, thrashing his body back and forth from where he was pinned. If he didn't break out he was going to die and he had too much to live for. No. He couldn't die yet. Not until Keel was dead and he could see Misato once again.

He summoned all his remaining strength and jerked his body into a roll, causing his opponent to lose his grip. He wasn't in the clear. His opponent snared his arm with the chain, stood up and whipped him into the air. Kaji yelped in pain. As he flew he could feel the ligaments of his shoulder straining, almost to the point of tearing but he twisted around and managed to land on his feet. He and his opponent locked eyes for half a second and then the bodyguard jerked his arms and flung him again via the chain across the room.

Kaji bounced and rolled along the floor, unable to shield his head from the multiple impacts. By now he was woozy and seeing double. He had to end this, somehow, someway. And then he came to rest with a crash against a glass case which splintered into a thousand pieces.

His ears were ringing and all he could do was groan in agony from the shards of glass stabbing at the back of his head, his arms, his back, everywhere. Blood was dripping down from his forehead into his eyes, making it hard to see but he could see his opponent clear enough. The man was trudging slowly towards him with a murderous grin, slowly swinging the heavy chain back and forth. It was clear as day that since he wasn't going for the gun that he wanted to make this long and painful. It was personal for him now.

It was hopeless and Kaji knew it but he refused to die on his knees. He reached back and tried to stand but couldn't get enough support. His legs felt like jelly and his arm was too strained. It was no use... but then he felt the wooden handle of the object within the case.

A fire ax...

Kaji summoned the very last of his strength and took up the weapon as he forced himself to his feet. The bodyguard lunged and whipped the chain around at his head but he managed to duck the strike. He cried out in fury and agony as he swung and connected just above the man's left knee.

There was spray of blood as the man fell to his knees, taking the embedded ax along with him. Kaji maintained his grip and managed not to fall, wrenching the blade free from the man's flesh. His opponent lurched and swung the chain again. Kaji took a step back and the chain whipped by his face mere centimeters from his nose as Kaji raised his weapon high over his head. Without giving his opponent time to react he brought it down as hard as his aching body would allow him, straight into the top of the man's head.

The blade smashed through the bodyguards skull in an explosion of blood and brains, splattering Kaji all over his suit. The blade continued through his head and stopped only once it reached half way into his chest. Still, the bodyguard remained on his knees. Kaji held the ax firm for a moment, panting heavily before finally letting go of his weapon, leaving it embedded in his foe's upper torso. As he did, his enemy fell backwards, the two halves of his bisected cranium falling open like two halves of the world's most grotesque coconut.

Kaji collapsed to his knees and sat back on his rear, running a bloody hand through his disheveled hair as he tried to collect himself after what had honestly been the most strenuous fight of his entire career as a spy. On top of getting the shit kicked out of him, he was now covered in blood, and now there was no way this would go undiscovered. He turned back to his fallen foe and shook his head, chortling to himself. At least it wasn't entirely his fault that things turned out this way. "What a splitting headache..." he quipped.

Taking stock of his situation, this might not be too bad of an outcome. Considering this man was Laurent's personal attendant and bodyguard most likely he had a key to the man's room, or shared a room. With that thought in mind he moved over to the body and began going through his pockets until he found what he was looking for. He looked down at the room key complete with number tag in his hand and smiled. Yes... this operation could still be salvaged.

It was then that he heard the faint sound of a voice coming from his pocket and he realized it was his earpiece. He pulled it from his jacket with a shaky hand and put it to his ear, greeted by Fujita's voice. "Come in, Kaji!" his comrade spoke. "Requesting status, come in! Are you okay! Come in!"

"I'm fine," Kaji huffed, still breathing heavily. "I had a little trouble but I'm okay."

"I heard a whole bunch of noises a minute ago. What happened?" Fujita asked. "Did you locate the bodyguard?"

"Yeah, I located him alright..." Kaji returned, knowing his partner would understand exactly what happened with his next statement. "But it was a dead end."

"Aw shit..." Fujita sighed. "You killed him, didn't you?"

Kaji looked back at his fallen foe with a scowl. "To be fair he didn't give me much of a choice..." he grumbled.

"Dammit, were you seen?" Fujita hissed. "How loud did you get?"

"I don't think I was seen," Kaji replied as he stood up with a groan, limping over to where his gun lay on the floor of the dark room. "And it wasn't loud."

"Still, what do we do now?" Fujita huffed. "We still don't know what room Laurent is staying in. And we don't know how we're-"

"I have the key and the number," Kaji returned, cutting him off. "And I'm going there now."

"Are you fucking crazy?" Fujita shouted in his ear. "What did I tell you about being reckless!"

Kaji grimaced. "Can you stop screaming directly in my ear!?" he hissed as he holstered his pistol and buttoned up his jacket. "And what else can we do? I was attacked first so he knows we're here. One way or another this is going to get spicy so we have no choice but to act now."

There was a pause before Fujita spoke again. "Fuck I hate that you're right..." he grumbled. "Look, whatever you do, try not to be seen and don't get killed, okay? Report back when you're closing in."

"Got it," Kaji replied.

"Oh, and keep your fucking earpiece in!" Fujita added.

"Noted," Kaji replied before reaching up and muting the damned thing.

He searched the shelves of the maintenance room until he found a rag to wipe himself down with. There was nothing he could do for his suit but he wiped down his hands and face as best he could before moving to the exit.

Dutifully he did his best to remain unseen as he ascended the stairwell until he'd reached the first floor to contain hotel rooms. From there he crept through the halls, limping all the way, his left feeling arm so messed up that he could barely move it. He managed to reach an elevator unseen and stepped inside, drawing his gun as soon as he hit the button to go to the proper floor. He stepped out of the elevator when the doors open and stalked down the hall, his pistol at the ready. Soon enough he reached the room he sought. He slipped the key into the lock and turned...

The door opened and Kaji stepped inside. The room was a luxurious suite but there was no sign of his target. He listened closely and he could hear a strange beeping noise. It couldn't be a bomb, that was something only in bad movies, so what was it? He'd find out as soon as he pressed on in. Then a voice called out to him, one he recognized though it was in french. "Entrez, je sais que vous êtes là," Laurent spoke from one of the bedrooms.

Kaji pressed on slowly after shutting the door, his gun ready to engage at any moment. If there was another henchman he wouldn't make the same mistakes he'd made with the last. Slowly he rounded the corner and entered the bedroom his enemy called from... and the sight before him was genuinely perplexing.

Laurent sat in a chair beside the bed, a pair of intravenous lines hooked up to his arm. The first was hooked up to a bag of some unknown fluid hooked on a pole. The other line was attached to some kind of motorized medical equipment. Laurent smiled at him as if he'd been expecting him. "Greetings, Rouji Kaji," he stated warmly. "It is a shame we never got to have that game."

Kaji's eyes narrowed and he leveled his pistol, ready to fire. "How do you know my name?" he asked.

"Deductive reasoning. SEELE is now being hunted all over the world, wanted by governments all over the world," Laurent replied calmly. "And you match the description to the letter of an asset, a double agent that we used to employ, which we presumed dead. Now I ask... how did you survive?"

"I had a little help from the top," Kaji responded flatly.

Laurent nodded before turning his head to look out the window, sighing, his lips curving downward. "Ikari, that clever bastard..." he whispered out. "So... I can assume that since you've made it here that you managed to overcome Antoine, yes?"

So that was the monster's name... not that it mattered now. "Indeed," Kaji responded coolly. "Though he was certainly a cut above."

"Very well..." Laurent replied quietly. "I suppose you have me then. I'm not going to resist or run, not that I could, especially not before finishing this round of medication."

Ah... so that explained it. "You're dying," Kaji stated before going on to raise a question. "How long?"

"A year or two more at most, or so I was told five years ago," Laurent replied, turning to face him again with a somber smile. "However, my condition is terminal. It's a shame. I came so close to escaping it in favor of immortality..."

Kaji's eyes narrowed. "At the expense of the desires of everyone else..." he hissed.

"Indeed, though it may have been better for all of us," Laurent returned. "Though I suppose it doesn't matter now."

That comment piqued his interest. One thing that had bothered him, something that he didn't like to think about was the possibility that SEELE had some form of contingency in case their plans failed... "So there's no backup plan?" he asked. "No plan to rise again and start this mess over?"

"Not as far as I know," Laurent replied. "And I'd imagine Lorenz never even considered such a possibility. Besides, we were preparing to shed our physical forms. That sort of thing is usually something you try to ensure certain success with before going about as it were."

The way he made it sound it almost sounded like something a suicidal person might say. However, it still didn't answer why SEELE wanted the merger of all souls or why they took the actions they did. It didn't matter. The only truth he wanted to hear was Keel's. That's what mattered... "You make it sound like a suicide," Kaji returned.

Laurent chuckled softly. "I suppose in a way it is," he mused.

Kaji thought on those words for a moment before responding. "And if that's the case why spend your days here of all places?" he asked.

Laurent shrugged his shoulders. "I thought I'd have one last bit of enjoyment before the end, whatever the end," he replied.

Kaji fought the urge to snarl. He was done wasting time. "Where is Keel?" he spoke out tersely, less an inquiry and more a command.

"Berlin," Laurent returned quietly. "I'd be happy to confirm where, once guaranteed safety."

He found that response surprising coming from a man who'd taken part in a conspiracy to end the world, especially a dying one. To compound that, it disgusted him how quickly and easily he was willing to betray his comrades. "A strange request for a dying man to make, no?" Kaji replied with a snarl.

"I sought a better life for myself with SEELE, and I still seek that end," Laurent replied. "Though immortality and oneness with all of humanity and with God is beyond my grasp I can still use my time in what ways I can. At this point for me the best life is having the most life."

Kaji's lip curled in fury and revulsion. His finger ached and twitched. Every fiber of his being urged him to simply pull the trigger. "And if I were to take your life now, what then?" he spat.

"Then you may never unlock the secrets that you and your government seek," Laurent replied evenly, a thin smile working its way across his lips. "The secrets that only Keel Lorenz knows..."

Kaji stood there, breathing heavily, wrestling with what he knew was right and his lust for blood and vengeance. The words of Fujita in Italy about him being reckless rang in his ears and after a moment of pause he lowered his gun with a furious snarl before reaching up and keying his earpiece. "Fujita, I've got him," he stated flatly.

The earpiece cracked for a second before Fujita responded. "You didn't kill him did you?" his comrade asked. "Fuck, if you did, so help m-"

"No," Kaji cut him off. "As much as I'd have liked to I haven't. He's decided to come with us willingly. Call in an extraction team immediately."

There was a pause before Fujita responded. "Alright, I'm on it. I suppose you can give me the rundown later..."

Kaji stared into Laurent's eyes, studying his calm and airy expression. He hated to admit it but this entire encounter had given him a lot to consider. It made him realize that the men at SEELE were a lot more complicated that he'd given them credit for. "That's probably for the best..." he replied. "There is much to discuss..."


Author's notes

Well for those who were hoping for some James Bond esque action, I hope you're satisfied. The hunt for SEELE subplot definitely takes a very prominent role in this one but I hope it doesn't overshadow the development with out favorite cast of teenagers despite the length of Kaji's final scene. The title of this chapter I think is meaningful for not just him but for everyone who came through the meatgrinder of the Angel war alive.

Rei's scenes were in particulary something that I'd been looking forward to puting to the page. Sure, she's become fully human, but her finally coming to an understanding of what that means in all it's awkward glory is something I couldn't resist penning. I hope that it doesn't come across as too voyeuristic. In regards to Asuka, I'm very happy with her development in this chapter. Coming to terms with what you've lost and forging a new identity isn't easy but she's making progress slowly but surely. As for Shinji... well, Shinji is Shinji, no surprise there, right?

And while everyone finds their way, picks up the pieces of what they've lost and gained... the hunt for SEELE continues.

Please read and review. Only four more chapters until the conclusion...

Regards,

A.F.