BELLA
That night, following seeing the note from Victoria was hard. Too damn hard. I was lying in bed trying to sleep and sleep never came. I was filled with guilt. Stomach dropping, impending nausea, lump in my throat, guilt. Although Paul's words made sense. Any vampire could have chosen to target imprints if they were vigilant enough to find out what the wolves cared about and be able to evade them first.
I felt like I was never going to stop having a target painted on my back. And now it was on all of our backs. Earlier today, we all became her prey, instead of just me. This was a game to her. Just like James made a game out of hunting me. I hope this was a ruse, to spread out the pack, maybe make me more vulnerable so she could just kill me. I would never tell Paul that. But her just being after me was better than the alternative.
The guilt ate at my stomach like bile and nothing could wash it down. I tried taking melatonin to help me sleep an hour ago and I was still wide awake. I just kept imagining waking up tomorrow and hearing that Emily and Kim were dead– or missing. My stomach felt sick at that thought.
It reached two in the morning when someone leapt through my open window and landed in my room. I clamped my hands over my mouth, to not wake Charlie but I was screaming with shock internally.
"Shh, Bella it's me, Paul." He whispered. I calmed down significantly.
His footsteps were silent as he paced over to me and asked if he could sit.
"No, can you lie with me instead? Is that okay?" I whimpered.
"Of course, chica." He said as he put his massive frame beside my body.
He wrapped his arms around me as I nestled my head into the crevice in his bicep.
"I heard you still awake when it was my turn to guard your house." He whispered.
"I know today was overwhelming. I thought I'd keep you company. Help you sleep." He muttered as I started to get tired.
"Thanks." I grinned into his warmth.
"I couldn't fall asleep. The guilt and worry was eating away at my stomach." I grumbled.
"Thanks for coming Paul. You're my best friend. I love you" I whispered.
"Love ya too chica, goodnight." He said.
.
.
.
The next few weeks were tense. The Cullens had swiftly agreed to help catch Victoria. And the pack triggered the first part of Seth, Leah, Colin and Brady's transition. They were now dealing with the fever. The stomach pains of guilt wouldn't go away. But I tried to keep up a normal attitude around the pack. I couldn't put any more stress on their plate.
While all of us girls were at Emily's every day, the pack could concentrate better with all of us under one roof. So they would spend that time training. They'd have one guy stay inside with us while the rest trained on combat and skills in the forest. I missed hanging out with Paul and Jacob—even Embry, Sam, Quil, and Jared. I wished everything was normal and no one was hunting me.
On Wednesday after I finished school, Sam got a call. The Cullens needed to meet with the pack to give info. So training was delayed for the day. I didn't trust them that much anymore and neither did the pack. But they'd hear them out.
While the pack went to meet the Cullens at the border, I stayed at Emily's with Kim, Emily, and Jared. I was working on homework with Kim, while Emily cooked. Jared was braiding Kim's hair while she studied with me.
The rest of the pack returned twenty minutes later, angry and with a temper.
"Hey, hey, hey," Jared cautioned as he walked in front of us with his arms out.
"If you need to phase, go outside. Girls in here." He warned.
Quil quickly made his escape, since he was the newest member and the rest of the pack just went from hot-tempered to visibly annoyed.
"What happened at the meeting?" Asked Jared who was second in command, Sam's Beta.
"Let's sit down and eat, and we'll discuss the meeting. This shouldn't have to be a tense conversation." Said Sam.
However, his posture and voice told a different story. This was going to be a tense conversation. He was just trying to lighten the mood. A mood that has been steadily tense for weeks.
Dinner wasn't going to change that, but I'd keep up the pretense because I'd do anything for it to feel normal here, again. It was significantly better when just my life was on the line. I couldn't fathom how the guys handle this much stress day and night, non-stop, with no break. Can't take a break from being a shifter.
Paul sat on my other side for dinner. Kim was already beside me on my left. Paul put one arm around my shoulders and gave me a peck on the forehead. We all made small talk for about ten minutes, Paul made me laugh so much with his jokes, and Quil and Jacob's mini food fight was a riot. It felt normal. Almost.
Then Sam stood up. He eyed everyone and we all went quiet. He began to speak.
"The meeting with the Cullens went well. We got some very necessary information. Alice, the one who sees the future gave us some knowledge about the redhead. Victoria is making an army of newborns." He said gruffly but with a powerful Alpha aura behind his words.
"She's creating ten to twenty new vampires. Most likely they'll be forced to take part in her plan. They'll be coming for us on the first snowfall. We've been told it's in about two weeks." He said as he peered at everyone and then looked longingly into Emily's eyes.
"We have made a plan to draw them to a clearing so we can fight them. We'll have you ladies walk around it one day with us to gather your scent in one place. And on the way to LaPush, we'll ambush them in their tracks. And this will all be over." Sam finished.
I wanted to scream, "Don't fight for me!". But this wasn't just about protecting me. I looked at Jake across the table. My eyes met his.
"Don't worry Bells, it'll be a piece of cake, honey." Jake grinned, but it didn't meet his eyes.
"Yeah chica, a piece of cake!" Came from Paul on my right as he squeezed my hand and then continued to plop food into his cavernous mouth.
The table conversation resumed its usual rowdy behavior and I started to believe Paul and Jake.
Jared was reassuring Kim that he'd be safe on my left and Paul squeezed my hand again in reassurance. I could stay strong for the pack. I could do it. No panic attacks are allowed. No crying. No tears. I could do this.
"Hey, I won't be guarding your house tonight. It'll be Embry." Said, Paul on my right.
Beside my ear, he asked if I'd be okay to sleep by myself tonight and I nodded.
"Hey, well if we've got the day off training, let's go to my house and kick up!" Said Paul cheerfully as he rubbed his belly in satisfaction.
I giggled.
"Okay!" I grinned, as he dragged me away from the table to his place by my hand.
I couldn't stop the creeping intuition from seeping into my mind that he was making me laugh just to placate me.
It felt as though he was keeping something from me or lying about how easy the battle was going to be. I shook my head. These spirling thoughts should stop in their tracks. If Victoria was using this battle as a diversion, they'd probably already planned for that. I had to put my trust in Paul. We couldn't let her get to us.
I held Paul's hand on the walk to his house. When we got inside, he picked me up by my waist and placed me on the couch. When his hands were on my waist I felt a spark. My shirt rode up a little as he grazed my skin when he picked me up and put me down. I felt warm all over. I looked up at him in awe, as he sat me down. I had never felt that feeling before. I had felt a thrill for the first time as he lifted me up. He had felt electric. We had felt electric.
I almost felt like I was beginning to have a crush on Paul. Oh my. I pushed my body a little ways away from Paul on the couch and rested back down into a comfortable lull of time. I had a crush on Paul. I slowly turned to peek at Paul and he was already staring at me. He was looking at me with a perplexed expression.
"What's wrong, chica?" He asked while looking at me like I was an alien.
"Nothingg" I sang as he kept staring.
"Okay, so the movie. Right. What movie are we watching?" I asked as I fidgeted with my hoodie strings trying my hardest not to gaze into Paul's eyes or picture him holding me again like he just had.
We were always blurring the lines considering how much we touched but something changed and it just dawned on me that there never were lines to begin with. We were soulmates. Imprints. But I had no idea how to take the next step and I was scared.
Words of The Day:
Melatonin: The hormone melatonin plays a role in the sleep-wake cycle. Natural levels of melatonin in the blood are highest at night. Some research suggests that melatonin supplements might be helpful in treating sleep disorders, such as delayed sleep phase. They also may provide some relief from insomnia and jet lag.
