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Chapter 13
Albino Girl
Bella
I was sitting in my red truck ... on the way to the Quileute reservation.
Emmett took it quite calmly. What was he doing right now? I had no idea what to even say to Jacob. Even though he was so cold and sarcastic, I had seen sadness in his eyes. After all, it was somewhat my fault. I hadn't been in contact with him since the night I found out about Edward and Rosalie. As distraught as I was that evening at his house, he couldn't have known that I was doing relatively well a day later. He must have been worried because I hadn't been in touch.
In front of me I saw the familiar red cottage where I had been so often in my childhood, while Billy and Charlie went fishing. It was only eight in the morning - maybe they were still asleep. But I saw light in the kitchen window.
I parked in front of the house and got out. Before I could ring the bell, Billy opened the door for me.
"Jake doesn't want to see you, Bella. Sorry."
I didn't listen to him and walked past him to Jake's bedroom door. I knocked on it with my fist.
"Jacob Black, come out and talk to me!", I almost shouted.
I heard the springs squeak from his mattress. He tore open the door and stood huge and bad-tempered in front of me.
"What do you still want here. Go to your bloodsucker," he grumbled at me.
If he acted like that, he wasn't my Jacob anymore. Then he was the perfect copy of Sam. I hated it.
"Please, Jake, let's talk. Let me come in. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you since the night before last," I pleaded with him.
He rolled his eyes, but let me into the room. He closed the door and sat down on the bed. I sat down next to him.
"Well, tell me what you want to tell. It's not what it looked like?"
I didn't like his sarcastic tone at all.
"I don't know where to start. What do you want to know?", I asked.
He thought for a second.
"Then please explain why the guy was in your bed in his underwear?"
How was I going to explain this to him. It sounded totally stupid if I said I was in love with him ... somehow.
"I feel comfortable with him. And when I was with him, I no longer thought about what Edward did to me," I tried to explain.
"Ah ... sex to forget the ex. Super tactic, Bells!", he said tonelessly sarcastically.
"JACOB!" I took a pillow and slapped it in his face. "We didn't have sex, you idiot! And if we had, what business is it of yours who I do what with?"
He grabbed my wrists and pinned me to the wall. He leaned down toward me. His eyes were cold and black.
"It's my business because it makes me ... frantic ... with ... jealousy ..., Bella!"
He let go of me again and I went back to the bed and sat down.
"Do you think he won't betray you the same way Edward did? What do you see in those stinking bloodsuckers? Bella, don't you see how unfair this is?"
I didn't understand what he meant and frowned.
"Damn it, Bella, you know I love you! Don't you see how unfair it is. Right after you get betrayed by your stupid bloodsucker, you go right to the next one. What does he have that I don't? Do you love him?"
He was more upset than I thought. Why did he have to love me more than I loved him? Why couldn't he just be my best friend?
"I don't know exactly how I feel about him ...", I said truthfully.
"Well, tell me how you feel with him," he pressed on.
I had to think for a moment. When I spoke again, I looked at my hands.
"I ... I feel safe with him. He makes me laugh. He makes my heart beat faster when he's close to me."
I didn't know how to continue telling and I preferred to leave out the passionate feelings.
"Then how is that different from me? I hear your heart beat faster when I hug you. I make you laugh. You're also completely safe and secure with me. I comforted you when Edward cheated on you. I am always there for you. Why is this so different? Please, Bella, tell me."
He held my hand in his and looked into my eyes.
His eyes were not as black as before.
"Yeah, I know. But I love you like a brother, Jake, like my best friend. It's not about who's werewolf and who's vampire. It's not like the Emmett thing was planned. The feelings just come. I swear to you, if I could control who I wanted to love, I would choose you. If there was a way to have the same feelings for you that you have for me, I would. But I will always think of you as my best friend, Jake."
My voice broke because everything I said was true. I didn't want him to suffer like this just because he loved me. Why couldn't he just be my best friend?
Tears ran down my cheeks.
Why did I always have to cry right away?
"B ... Bella, please don't cry!"
All anger had faded from his voice. He wiped away my tears with his thumbs.
"Please, Bella, I'm being sweet again, okay? It's none of my business who you fall in love with."
He took me in his arms, but I only had to cry more.
Why was he the one comforting me now? I was hurting him so much!
"I ... I'm so ... so sorry!", I pressed out between sobs.
"I know you can't control your emotions. Calm down again. Come on, let's go down to the beach and enjoy the beautiful weather. Just as best friends, I promise."
He gently grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me slightly away from him. He looked at me with a typical Jacob smile.
"Come on, little one."
I nodded and wiped away the last of my tears.
He stood up and rummaged around in some drawers.
"I think one of my sisters' bikinis should fit you. Here, this one should work."
He threw me a plain pink bikini, grabbed swimming trunks for himself and two bath towels.
"I'm going out to change. Just come out when you're done."
Then he walked over to the living room.
I put on the bikini ... and it really fit perfectly.
The pink bikini must have looked really good on his sisters' rusty brown skin. I was incredibly pale!
With bathing clothes and towel we went to the beach.
It was ten o'clock, but the sky was cloudless, and the sun was shining down on us. We lay down on the cloths and enjoyed the sun.
"Hey, albino girl, are you coming in the water?", Jake asked me after half an hour.
The sun was already very hot, and I didn't mind cooling down.
So we spent the morning comfortably on the beach and I was glad that he had kept his promise.
He was just my best friend now. At least for today.
At noon, the sermon Charlie gave me last night came to mind again.
"Jake, you and Embry are real traitors! Tattling all to my dad. You could have guessed how he'd react."
"Oh ... come on, Bella. Don't take it too hard. And it's not Embry's fault anyway. Sooner or later I would have found out through werewolf telepathy."
He tapped his head.
I rolled my eyes.
"Bella, are you sure you don't have an albino in the family?", Jake quipped.
"Oh shut up."
I pushed him by the arm.
"Well, it's 12:30 p.m. Total midday sun probably wouldn't be so good for you. Shall we go back up to the house?", he asked.
Perfect timing.
"Yeah, that would be great. I was going to go at one anyway."
We got up, packed our things, and went up to the house.
At one o'clock I drove home again.
