(YM)

If my face wasn't going numb, I would stay hugging on that park bench forever. I didn't wanna take Hinata, or whatever he actually decided to go by, back there to suffer. Whether it be from the knowledge of the disgusting truth or, apparently the most unbearable thing of all, boredom. I didn't want to do it. I knew it was for the best that he chose to return, but it didn't make things much easier. "...Perhaps I should return to my intrapment now. The weather appears to be getting worse soon." He said before I could stall or talk about more of the situation. He was probably right. Typical since we made him a smart ass and all. The lack of questions probably had something to do with that too. "Yeah, yeah." I tried to think of some quick comeback, yet I couldn't for once. The relief of him taking this so well and the feeling of being wanted made it too difficult. Wow, look at that. Someone actually wanted me around. Truly, it was a miracle. Just what I needed to fill the void in my cold, cynical heart. Of course, I didn't say anything about all those gross feelings. A hug was already more than he normally got.

"Let's go. Doubt you want to freeze to death out here." He followed my lead with nothing but a small nod. I never thought walking back into that haunting building would be as difficult as it was after his personality slipped away. I remember the sickly feeling that lined every nerve in my body the morning after I learned how different he became and how it was my fault. Now it was like I denied him freedom or, even worse, he was turning it down for me. The walk wouldn't take long, yet we use the time to talk more. It sucked being unable to freely speak my mind in there. "Are you saving that packet for when you get bored again?" I believed him when he said he could hide it from those oh so benevolent grandpas. Actually, it'd be disappointing if he didn't find any hiding places by now. "I would like something to look forward to. Learning of my past is the most interesting avenue I have to explore." His monotone voice took some getting used to. Even now.

"Nothing like digging up old skeletons to spice up your life. Who needs excitement in the present when you can unearth the riveting tales of Hinata Hajime?" Whenever I laid my typical sarcasm out, I be sure to watch his face. Waiting for any kind of change to convince me he was still in there. Even after all this time, I silently hoped the person I knew would reappear that he would bounce out of his depression. Although it was completely understandable in his situation. "I had such a generic name. Perhaps there is some artistry in that." He answered with a completely blank expression. The insane amount of hair on top of his red eyes made him appear like someone else entirely. I knew I needed to let go of any hope for things to go back to how they used to be. It was childish to put it lightly. "Now that you know all about it, what do *you* wanna go by?" I asked almost like it was a test. His answer could change my view on how he was actually doing. If he'd jump out of depression or stick to this for the foreseeable future, it all depended on his choice. Asking was pointless, I already knew the answer.

"Kamukura Izuru is our only option. If you were to call me Hinata, you could not hide that from the Committee. They will suspect something." 'Kamukura' was right. Like always. No matter how much I controlled when I called him by his real name, I had no idea when I'd get the chance to without getting caught. Great. That was just like his recent self. No sentimental replies, only logic and reason. Made me look all sensitive in comparison. "Fair enough, H- Kamukura." The new name was way too difficult to blurt out. It felt like I was joining the Committee's side, although I guess I always have been. "Thank you for asking, Matsuda. It is considerate to remember my birth name given these circumstances." His voice stayed in that emotionless state, still I knew he meant it. I had to deter this. "I can practically feel my heartstrings being tugged. Pass me a bucket, will you?" He rolled his eyes at that one. At least he had that much emotion left in him.

Before he could say anything about the ridiculousness of how I should be used to his new name or reading into my adversion, the wind started up. Piercing air irritated my already frozen ears while ice chips narrowly avoided my eyes. Oh fantastic, he was right about this damn weather. What kind of insane hermit actually liked winter? We had to run for it. All the way from the gate to that abandoned building at the very end of campus. Grabbing onto his wrist, I was forced to rush our time together. Hurrying to get out of this sudden storm. During the scurry there, he passed me nonchalantly. Like it was the most natural thing to do in that situation. With that, I decided to turn it into a race. "Showoff!" He rushed forward as I chased after him. "I am not doing anything." Ugh. A quick slam and locking of the outside doors as I caught my breath. Oh, how cool of me to be winded after such a short run... and to lose. "...I suppose you would like your clothing back." 'Kamukura' said with little indication of being out of breath. Uh huh, that wasn't emasculating. "Yeah. Go in the room and change back. I'll turn the cameras on again after you're in bed. Bet you're exhausted from all that effortless winning." He thought for a second before plainly replying, "I am cold." Fair enough. "Fine, I can get you an extra blanket so you don't have to use your hair as one."

We headed back to his room and the deal was done before either of us wanted it to be. We didn't talk, although we could've freely. I could tell he was getting tired. Icy clothes in hand, I realized just how exhausted I'd be tomorrow morning. My shift only 4 hours away. Ugh, fantastic. "...Please rest for the short while you can. Thank you. Goodnight, Matsuda." His goodbye was short, yet nicer than he would ever be with anyone else here. "Yeah. I'll give you a couple minutes. Goodnight, H- Kamukura." I shut the door behind me after he turned around. With a sigh and my forehead pressed against the door, I tried to compose myself. Tired thoughts mixed with knowing I had to conquer the storm to head to bed called for a moment of silence alone. I glanced over at the monitors, usually showing each camera's footage. As promised, they were off for our adventure. A risky move.

"Did you seriously take him outside?" A voice jumped me out of my head. Startled, I quickly turn to it. Dr. Tsukino stood across the room. Arms crossed, hair a mess, and his sleep clearly interrupted. Oh yeah, slamming doors would do that. I didn't want to deal with this anymore than I had to. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Doctor. I didn't realize a breath of fresh air was the new forbidden fruit. Why else would I ask you for that favor?" I didn't hesitate. If anyone of these idiots could keep a secret, it was him. This absolute joke of a doctor had no reason to care unless he thought he was in trouble. Maybe that's all this was.

"I turned the cameras off because I thought you were getting lucky in there, n-" I instantly cut him off. "Wow, that's so inappropriate I don't even have words for it... Look, I know what I'm doing, Tsukino. Let the guy get some air, Jesus. No one saw us." I pushed passed him and headed out into the hallway as I spoke. Talking in the observation room about 'Kamukura' felt wrong with him right there, even if I was absolutely sure he couldn't hear us. Especially with such an accusation. "What if they did? Then it's my ass on the line!" Tsukino grabbed my arm once we reached the hall. Did this professional napper with a stethoscope really think I would put up with that? I pushed back, being sure to play this more casually. Threatening would work though... "Well, they didn't. I'd just say he's visiting me and rush him back. I'm not stupid enough to have no back up plan."

If someone found us and started asking questions, I could scare them off easily. The up side of being a cynical asshole is that no one typically messed with me. The most I'd have to worry about is 'Kamukura' being identified, especially before he knew the reality of the project. Honestly, I doubted anyone would recognize him unless it was his own mother. With a sigh and a 'friendly' set of hands on my shoulders, Tsukino tried to talk to me like an adult would a child. Embarrassing if that was how he truly viewed our relationship. "Matsuda, I understand you're still a kid and all, but this is highly irresponsible..." I didn't say anything. It was hard enough holding back frustration. "Are you the one that broke the lock on the filing cabinet?" Oh, great. Now he was playing detective. That was months ago. Both the filing cabinet and the box inside had tampered locks. Marks on the keyholes pointed to someone in a rush or an amateur, so we could rule out any sort of trained professional. All the files inside were left exactly how they were before. That didn't matter. The Committee upped their security right after it was discovered. Something they clearly should've done sooner if they didn't want me sneaking him out or have people sneaking in. The only reason they didn't start out with the highest security tech on the market was fear of getting their computer's hacked into. Tch, bunch of out of touch morons. I had my suspicions on who could possibly be snooping, but it was probably just paranoia.

"Oh yeah, because I'd break into something I have keys for." I brushed his hands off me while he thought to himself. Probably wondering if the trade of turning the cameras off for a nap and manga was worth it. "...I guess you're right. Something bad could've happened. Then what? What would the committee say?" This guy was more anxious about those geezers than he should be. Looks like no one here found out what I learned on day 1: Show some balls and the committee gets weak. That didn't matter right now. I needed him to calm down. Him acting nervous tomorrow could make things more difficult.

"Tsukino. I held up my end of the bargain. You did yours. I was just making sure he didn't lose his damn mind. You want to deal with a superhuman going crazy, then go ahead. I don't plan on being here for it." Lying wasn't ever something I enjoyed doing, yet sometimes it was necessary. When he stayed quiet, I knew things could get heated. Maybe I should back down, but I still had my pride. "You got lucky. Don't do it again." Ooh, how scary. Now I couldn't back down. "Or what? You'll admit to helping me out while telling on me? You got some shut eye and manga. Keep your mouth shut unless you want both of us to get kicked off and left for dead." I stared into him. Grey eyes surprised and a bit intimidated. Look who's the child now. Another moment of silence for him to gather his thoughts. "L-Let's be smart about this and keep quiet." He repeated the sentiment like it was his idea. That would have to be good enough. "Mhm. Remember to turn the cameras back on." I walked out into the cold before he could say anything.

-

Wow, who knew getting only 3 hours of sleep would make me feel like total shit? It might've been better not to sleep at all. The grogginess in my head and weighing down my eyes didn't get blasted away as soon as I headed outside either. A light, cool wind and melting snow replaced what I expected out there. Ugh. At least I didn't have to walk in a mini blizzard again. Hurriedly gathering myself to my jobily duties, I couldn't stop thinking about last night. A million and one questions played through my mind as I walked the same routine way. Should I have told him the truth? Obviously. I didn't regret that a bit. Should I have talked to him inside that room instead of talking outside? No, anyone would go crazy from being stuck in a place like that. It was the humane thing to do. Should I have been nicer to Dr. Tsukino? Maybe.

More than anything, I couldn't stop thinking about what 'Kamukura' said. 'I fear what would happen to me if I were to lose you.' Those words kept repeating in my head. What could he possibly have to fear? Did he think I had much power in this and am holding them back somehow? No, he was too smart for that theory. I think that was his way of saying I was the only one he could trust. Yeah, not like he had much choice out of everyone here. Despite everything, he seemed to genuinely enjoy talking to me. Maybe I was projecting. Even if he liked my company for the time being, it wouldn't be long before he got bored of me too. It was just how these things go. Junko had gotten bored of me before and it burned every single time. She would go a couple weeks without talking to me, then jump back into my life like nothing happened, but of course I knew. I knew her well enough by now to clue in on the patterns. Didn't make it hurt any less. With 'Kamukura', he had nowhere to go. When, not if, he gets tired of me, I wonder how long it'd take for me to find out. If he would be blunt or try hurting me, it was anyone's guess. I hated comparing them, but I couldn't help it. They were too similar. I could only hope 'Kamukura' wasn't the violent type when pushed. A fear I planned to discuss with him once I knew the best way to approach it.

I try not to think of the hurt to come as I crashed into the kitchen. A tray prepared and left on the table since Dr. Tsukino already left. Of course he did. He never seemed the type to handle confrontation well. I took the tray of a traditional Japanese breakfast ('Kamukura's favorite), the daily pill intake (a metric fuck ton), and a tea for myself. The usual. It didn't matter, my mind kept sinking. As I stared at all those pills almost overflowing their cup, lingering thoughts choked me once again. I wondered if 'Kamukura' would spill the secrets out of pure boredom sometime soon. I wondered how much worse things would get as March's deadline crept ever so closer. Only 4 months left. I wondered if anything would change now that he knew everything. There was only one way to find out, but I had to talk in code of sorts or mouth everything. Either way, this was gonna suck.

When I entered the room, I knew my morning was absolutely ruined. The bearded one of the Steering Committee waved me in as he sat in the one chair this room had. Oh, great, what a pleasant surprise. Why the hell was he here so early? Was I dreaming somehow? "Come in, Matsuda. We were just about to catch up." I rolled my eyes as I set the tray down in it's usual spot. 'Kamukura' already looked annoyed, despite not even starting yet. Couldn't blame him. Rolling in another chair, I tried to piece together why this was happening. Did they notice the few hours of missing footage? Did we get caught? Was it all pure coincidence? I shut my mouth and wait for the answers to come. "Matsuda, you wouldn't know about this. Kamukura, did you notice any sort of black out last night?" The oldie asked while eyeing the other. As if he was accusing him of somehow causing it with that friendly mask still on. "Yes. I believe there was a storm." He lied. No hesitation, no give, nothing. He gave the answer like it was the absolute truth. A skill I probably gave him.

"Ah, yes. There was. Do you remember when the last black out happened?" This could be pointing it all sorts of directions, none of them looked good. "August 15th, if my calculations are correct." 'Kamukura' would remember something like that. In his situation, it had to be one of the more interesting things going on that week. Although, I didn't remember any blackout. Maybe I should be suspicious of him, yet I told myself it probably happened in the 20 or whatever hours I wasn't here on any given day. "I believe they are! Very impressive. Now, I would appreciate your honesty with this. Don't worry, Kamukura, you won't be in trouble. Did you leave this room when either of those blackouts occured?" Oh, I see. These morons actually think 'Kamukura' broke into the files. Well, it wasn't completely stupid, I guess, but if he could break out of the room, why would he still be here?

"...I see you caught on." He said with the typical tone. Huh!? What the hell did he think he was doing? There was no way it could be him! "Ah. We figured something like that happened. You left evidence when you tampered with the locks, my dear boy. Surprising you would be so careless. We were the ultimate locksmith, you know." Anyone who spent a waking moment with Mr. Anonymous here would know he suffered still trying to hold up this peaceful facade. It was almost fun watching. I knew that this couldn't end well for 'Kamukura', no matter how nice either of them played. "I found out many interesting and disturbing things this time." In my surprise, my mouth was left open. I couldn't understand what was happening until he took a quick glance at me. Nothing lingering or obvious. A subtle hint of warmth and suddenly I knew. He thought he was covering for me. I couldn't tell him to stop, not here, especially with anyone from the Committee sitting right next to us. I gave him a look, trying to say he didn't have to do this. He ignored it. All I could do was play along. Tortuously. "Oh, and what did you find?" The man still had the act on. Pretending to be friendly with him.

"I found the truth. Files explaining what you did, who I was, and the plan to create the most talented human being in all of human history. The only question left is a matter of what the purpose would be." The old man stared at 'Kamukura' with complete surprise. A loss for words. He wasn't prepared for this one. How could he be? "It makes sense, really. Why else would you and your team have struggled to explain the intricacies of my accident if it were not a lie? The injuries do not add up. I had to go searching for answers." 'Kamkura' stared back at him. Eyes empty looking to most, though I could sense a bit of anger wrapped up in there. Subtle enough I could be imagining it. Mr. Steering Committee took a breath, got up, and slowly leaned over to get into 'Kamkura's face as the guy himself stayed sat up in bed. Unbothered as the mask came off. All signs of the nice act vanished as soon as he got up. I watched carefully. I knew deep down that 'Kamukura' could handle it, but that didn't mean I wasn't gonna sit back and let anything happen.

"...And what are you going to do about it?" The man's voice loomed over him. Power and control tried to come through each word with intimidation. Maybe it could've worked on someone else, anyone else, just not 'Kamukura' or myself. I had my own reasons. To him, the Steering Committee were captors. He had plenty of reasons to be afraid or unsure. Instead of cowering or shakily defending himself, he smiled. Wholeheartedly, with a twist behind it I never expected. 'Kamukura' stared into this man's soul with the most unnerving grin I've ever seen. Nothing like the genuine one I saw last night. This time the expression had a power behind it I couldn't identify. Something devious I didn't think he had in him. I wondered if I put that there. "Nothing. I simply wanted you to know that I know." His voice maintained that monotone demeanor, making his expression that much more out of place. The old man backed off, obviously holding his breath, and stared at me. A poor choice since I couldn't help myself from my own happiness.

I couldn't be prouder! My friend actually stood up for himself. Seeing him do anything besides sulk and wait around meant some kind of progress, right? "What's so funny, Matsuda?" That bitter note in the bastard's throat would put daggers into most people. I shook my head at this entire situation. How insanely out of control this all was. "Seeing you lose your confidence." I didn't hesitate in telling the truth, it was the main reason I was on the verge of cracking up. "...I'll be taking care of this." He stormed out without another word. The slamming door made something fall off the wall. I didn't bother figuring out what it was, I just smirked at 'Kamukura'. By then, all the emotion left his face. If I knew that was the last time I'd ever see him smile, maybe I would've cherished it more. Then, reality hit.

He really sacrificed himself. He covered for me right after he turned down a chance to run away. He lied for me. Sure, he wanted his little getaway too, but I knew it was more than that. I didn't even know why. He could get hurt for this. I knew he thought of all the possibilities. Would the Committee isolate him more? Would they physically hurt him? He had no way of knowing. "...you didn't have to do that." I mouthed the words as my smirk faded. He just stared blankly at me before starting on breakfast. "I wasn't the one who tampered with the locks." I add more with this ridiculous communication method. "I knew the possibility. I simply took my chances in case I needed to." He spoke out loud. Not a weird thing to say given what the Committee knew about. They would think we were still talking about the files. Being sure to look natural, Kamukura added a mouthed line: "It gave an excuse for them to fear me." Suddenly, my worry of him getting violent when pushed surfaced again.