Chapter 31: Roll Out

The next day was the last before heading to the Decepticon Base. Everyone was training, mainly the Cooper Gang getting used to their Exo-suits, some had unique abilities like Carmalita shooting shock blasts from her arm cannons as if from her usual pistol and Panda King being able to launch heat seeking firework missiles. They were also learning some Cybertronian customs.

Bentley: So what you're saying is that some of you "Cybertronians" are actually from other planets you call colonies? Like how Earth has continents? Or Moons?

Ironhide: Yeah. Pretty much, but most of us are from the main Cybertron.

Windblade: I'm from Caminus. I'm a Cityspeaker who has the ability to control Titans.

Murray: As in…. Titans…Gigantic bots?

Windblade: Yeah. The most humongous bots you can ever see.

Murray: Can't we just crush the Decepticons easil-?

Windblade: No. First of all, we can't just bring a Titan to another planet and second, despite my ability, Titans are very hard to control.

Bumblebee: Blurr comes from the Colony Velocitron.

Blurr: yeahyeahyeahvelocitronitsreallycoolthereicangoasfastasiwantalsoitisknownasthespeedplanethaveimentionedthatihaveacrushonthechampionknownasoverride?

Carm: (Sighs) Out of all Autobots to be a reinforcement, why him?

Sly: I get the feeling you really don't like him, do you?

Springer: There's also this Colony called Junkion. Let me tell ya, the inhabitants are….odd to say the least. The whole planet is made of scrap and junk. In the 80's, they somehow got access to Earth TV and now their national anthem is "Dare to be stupid" by Weird Al Yankovic.

Later.

Hot Rod: Okay, so in the very rare chance you get stuck on a far away planet or colony, what is the Universal Greeting?

Sly/Bentley/Murray/Coopercus: Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.

Carm: (To Elita) So, are there other Autobots not part of Prime's main team, but just visit Earth from time to time?

Elita: Yeah, there's my best friend Chromia, Brawn, Crosshairs, Warpath. Some like the rest of us, scan Earth Alt. modes to blend in like the rest of us, but most of them take them back with them to Cybertron because they take a liking to Earth vehicles.

Carm: Also, woman to woman talk…..what's a Cybertronian's anatomy like?

Elita: Ummmmmm….

Sly: (To Prime) Hey Prime. Quick question: What's with your Truck trailer that keeps appearing and disappearing whenever you transform?

Optimus: That is my multi-purpose Combat Deck. It can carry a medium sized Autobot like Prowl or Bumblebee in car mode, fold out and become a small repair base, can send out a little spy drone called Roller or it can carry goods we need such as Energon and the occasional extra weapons and gadgets we need for battles.

Sly: Wow, that's cool! But how does it always disappear and reappear?

Optimus: It is made from a rare substance called Disappearium.

Sly: (To himself) I somehow should get ahold of that substance. Bentley could whip something up and it would probably be a good use for thieving somehow.

The next day everyone was finally ready to roll out. Wheeljack's effort to conserve as much Energon as possible is preventing everyone from Spacebridge portalling to Peru at once.

Hot Rod: Hey, has anyone seen Grimlock?

Wheeljack: I know he couldn't keep up on our long road trip, so I just quickly portaled him to Peru already where he'll be waiting for us. Was quick and didn't take much Energon.

Meanwhile, Grimlock in Dino mode is just sitting and waiting in a Peruvian valley like a dog waiting for its master.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock wait for other Autobots as long it takes….. but will be a bit lonely…..

Back at the base.

Optimus: Is everyone ready? It's gonna be a long trip?

Everyone gets ready for the iconic command

Optimus: AUTOBOTS! TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!

Everyone transforms and revs their engines. Sly and Carm get in Prime. Bentley gets in Wheeljack. Murray gets in Coopercus. Dimitri into Jazz and Panda King into Bulkhead. And with that, everyone rolls out of the base.

Jazz: We Rollin'!

Windblade and Springer are backup air support and will guide an Autobot back to the group if separated. It may take about a week, but they will get there eventually.

Sly: Hey Carmelita. So…. have you informed Interpol that you're okay or does the public still consider you missing?

Carm: I'm kind of in a tough situation right now. I mean, how am I gonna tell them "Hey, I'm fine right now! Don't worry about me! I'm just on a long mission with famed criminal Sly Cooper and the still publicly mysterious Autobots."?

Sly: Personally, if I were you, I would stay missing for five years. Probably enough for you to legally be considered dead to maybe be eternally bonded with someone as sexy as I dunno…a certain someone…. (Gives a seductive smile)

Carm: (Rolls her eyes) I'll tell them as soon as this is over. Still don't know how to explain it.

Optimus, overhearing their conversation, tunes his radio to "Runaway" By Bon Jovi.

"Ooooh, she's a little runaway. Daddy's girl learned fast. All those things you couldn't say. Ooooh, she's a little runaway."

Optimus: One rule I'm giving you two: None of your usual "Organic mating rituals" in my truck cab.

Carm: (Yells) AGAIN! WHY ARE YOU ROBOTS SO DAMN PERVERTED!?

Sly: (Chuckles)

Sly just thought it was funny whenever Cybertronians brought up the topic of Earth sex.

Optimus: Even after spending forty years on this planet, we still don't know exactly everything about organics.

Carm: Forty years?

Optimus: 1984. Both us and the Decepticons landed here. At the time, the Decepticons were getting the upper hand in the Cybertronian war, so we came here to regroup and plan against them. Unfortunately, they found out our plan from a traitor and followed us. We battled in places Earth people couldn't spot us and disguised ourselves as their transportation, but eventually organics did start spotting us again and again and started conspiracies that some believed and some didn't. Eventually the US Government knew that we were the good extraterrestrials. They keep wanting to form an organic/Autobot alliance defense force, but I keep declining offers as the Decepticons are our enemies and I don't want innocent people killed at their hands.

Sly: So what's the status with the war on Cybertron now?

Optimus: Luckily with the help of Ultra Magnus, a brave Autobot commander like myself, we now have the upper hand, but there are still Decepticons out there on both Earth and Cybertron. Megatron is still on this planet, plotting ways to conquer Earth. It is a weaker planet compared to Cybertron in terms of what lives here, so my team have stayed here to protect it. Some of us have become really accustomed to it, like myself, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Hot Rod and Windblade.

Meanwhile with Dimitri and Jazz, the Autobot isn't really playing tunes that satisfy his Iguana passenger.

Dimitri: Pfff. What iz dis modern crap? Taylure Swifto? I vas told you were a bot with style in tunes an' real taste in music.

Jazz: I am, I REALLY am, but I will admit, I'm a bit of a Swiftie.

Dimitri: Tunes? I will show you REAL tunes!

He pulls out his phone and starts playing his former Nightclub music (specifically the groovy tune from Sly 2)

Jazz: Now THOSE are some tunes! Ain't you the star of your own TV show? 'Cuz we Autobots may eventually become a bit more public and maybe you need a cool co-star. Maybe if you have the resources, you can even reopen your Nightclub and may need a mascot.

Dimitri: I like da way you think. I think we 'vill make good allies in order ta boost my popularity.

Jazz: Uhhh yeah, sure.

Bulkhead and Panda King are quite the odd pairing.

Bulkhead: So you were part of a group that tried to kill Sly, got arrested, somehow got out, then a few years later your daughter got kidnapped by some sexist pig-

Panda King: Chicken.

Bulkhead: -Sexist Chicken, formed an alliance with Sly and stopped the wedding?

Panda King: Pretty much, yes. And what do you do for a living?

Bulkhead: Former Wrecker, Team Prime member and occasional Spacebridge technician.

Panda King: I still do not fully understand your culture, Alien robot.

Bulkhead: Question: What exactly are you the King of?

Coopercus is awfully quiet while Murray is driving him

Murray: Hey buddy. You okay?

Coopercus: Yeah…kinda…..I'm just a bit worried and maybe a bit scared…..this will be my first battle…

Murray: As your caretaker who has loved you for a long time before you were even born ... .trust me…I will be behind your back…

Coopercus: Thanks…Dad…I'm feeling a bit better now.

Murray: You're gonna do great, kiddo! Now, do you mind if I tell you the legends of the Legendary mythical being known as "The Swivelman" and his majestic cold touch technique?

WRITER NOTE: Yeah, that's a JobbytheHong reference, shoutouts to him…...BEAUTIFUL SPREAD.

The trip is still long, there are some pit stops and mishaps. Bumblebee, Hot Rod and Blurr keep attempting to race, or at least stay ahead of each other, but Prime keeps telling them to cut it out.

Coopercus: Can I join them?

Murray: No, but I used to use you in races and demolition derbies in my thieving offtime. We can probably train and even enter some when this is all over.

Coopercus: Awesome!

Murray: (To himself) Though I dunno if the judges would consider it cheating if they knew the Van was sentient?

Coopercus: What?

Murray: Uuuhhhh…nothing!

After a long while of driving, Optimus teases his two passengers like a dad embarrassing his kid on their first date/ In front of their boyfriend/girlfriend by playing certain songs, mainly 80s love songs on his radio like:

"You're the inspiration" by Chicago

"Nothing's gonna change my love for you" by Glenn Mederios

"Time of my life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

"I want to know what love is" by Foreigner

"Listen to your Heart" by Roxette

"Primitive Lover" by Stan Bush

"Angel" by Aerosmith

This aggravates both of them.

Sly: PRIME! Please cut it out! SERIOUSLY! (Punches his radio)

Optimus: (Laughs)

Carm: (Whispers to Sly) Next stop, I'm riding with Elita!

Finally, everyone reaches the area around the Panama Canal that connects North and South America. There's no real bridge to drive across between the two continents…except for a super secret hidden holographic one that Wheeljack and just so happened to CONVENIENTLY build and construct sometime within the forty years of him being on Earth and possibly no organics to his knowledge have discovered.

Bentley: So you're telling me Optimus has to approve of every invention you make, even ones that are of very little use, yet sometimes are just very convenient?

Wheeljack: Yep. Even ones that fail and blow up immediately once I use them.

Bentley: (Nervous) Okay, now I don't think crossing this bridge is such a good idea….

Wheeljack: C'maaaannn! I just haven't used it in….I think… thirteen years…? Don't worry, we can swim….most of us anyway….

Bentley and the other Cooper Gang members and even some Autobots were really nervous about all crossing the bridge at once as planned with all of their weight, but then Optimus suggests everyone cross one or two at a time which works out well and everyone gets across safely. They all seem to be halfway there to their destination.