Murderer

Valerie and Sev chatted, talking about the feeling of Bond they felt. Valerie's did not correspond exactly to Sev's, since for him she was not his only object of passion and desire, his love was more distributed, but it was equally intense, especially in the aspect of attraction, which is why Valerie had not been able to restrain herself from doing it immediately when she felt it.

"It's amazing, Prince, to feel that you want me like that. I feel very valued, because your desire does not arise only from physical attraction or from how much you like doing it with me, but also from my personality, my way of being and all the things we share."

"Of course, I don't fall in love if I don't like the person in all their aspects, and I could fall in love with someone whose personality I liked, although not especially their physical appearance, but not the other way around."

"Of course, that's exactly what happens to me. I fell in love with you when I learned your story, you never attracted me physically before."

"But now I do attract you," he said.

"Of course, a lot. But it's because I know you as a person and I've seen you naked, you're to take bread and wet."

They laughed.

"That's what Deborah told me," Sev said.

"Copied from me, it's a Muggle saying."

"You're also to take bread and wet."

"Thank you, handsome." She kissed him.

"It's seven o'clock, Deborah will be coming soon. Have you had enough time alone with me?"

"It is never enough, my love, I would spend all my time with you. You don't know how angry it makes me not to be in the same year as you, we only have one year ahead of us."

"Yeah, Valerie... I'm going to miss you a lot, hug me."

They embraced.

"We will spend a lot of time together next year, we will sleep together many nights," he continued.

"Of course, and we will read many books, form a band, fly. Next year is also going to be fantastic, not just the summer. And the next and subsequent years I will come to visit you often, by Apparating or by Floo."

"If I become assistant I will have housing in the castle, with Lily, with Floo."

"Of course, the difficult one will be the year you are in seventh grade, whenI would depend on the old man to come by Floo," Valerie said. "I will Apparate and jump over the fence, like those at home do when they escape to prepare for the parties."

"Will you jump over the fence?" laughing.

"Of course," very proud and satisfied. "Anything for love."

"I will sleep with you whenever you come," Sev said.

"I'll have to make a schedule with Deborah, so we don't fight over you."

They laughed.

"Well, if you agree, the three of us will sleep together, here or in my bed at home, expanded," he proposed. "I have to try it this week."

"Well yes, you have the best placed bed in your bedroom, next to the window, in a different orientation than the others and with space around it. The others could not be expanded. Ask the old man to remove them in the summer."

"No, Valerie, it's good that we keep the extra beds at home for those who come to train next year and want to stay overnight from Saturday to Sunday."

"Of course, it's true."

"What I'm going to do is ask him to change the mattresses."

"Of course, that can be Summoned, it does not represent an expense," she said.

"Would you like to do something interesting before Deborah arrives?"

"Anything that comes from you is, my love. What do you want to do?"

"Teach you how to cast a curse of my invention, my personal seal," Sev replied.

"Have you invented a curse?" very amazed and a little scared.

(Boof… thorny issue, let's be honest.) "Of course."

Valerie pulled away from him to face him. (Bad business,) he thought.

"And how did it occur to you to do something like that?" she asked, recriminatory.

"Because I am capable of doing it and I really like Dark Magic."

"My... so you didn't learn it just to defend yourself," hurt.

"Of course not.I already told you before that I have defects," he admitted.

"Well, I don't know whether to call it a defect. In the situation we find ourselves in, it is very good for all of us that someone like you controls so much. But it shocks me that you say you like it."

"I don't like it, I'm passionate about it. Do you want me to teach you how to throw it? You will be the fifth person to learn it, only I and my loves know it."

"Of course."

(Well, she accepted this. Let's see about what is really thorny,) Sev thought. "But first I'm going to tell you something else about myself that you should know.Something that Jack didn't tell you at Easter and that may take me off the pedestal to which you have elevated me."

"I can imagine it with what you just told me about Dark Magic."

"Say it then. I prefer not to say it myself, I get sick."

"You even thought about becoming a Death Eater," Valerie deduced.

"That is."

"For a long time?"

"During some seasons for five or six months," he replied.

"It is enough time."

"Yes it is."

"You weren't with Lily yet, were you?" she asked.

"At first, yes, we were friends, but we argued a lot."

"Why were you arguing?"

"For that reason precisely, because of my bad company," Sev answered.

"And instead of listening to her and separating yourself from them, you decided to separate yourself from her and become the bad guy."

"That is."

"Because she didn't love you like you loved her," Valerie deduced.

"Exactly."

"What would have happened if she hadn't fallen in love with you?"

"That I would have accepted Malfoy's invitation," he replied.

"How awful…"

"Do I have flaws, Valerie?"

"Don't ask me to answer you right away. Let me digest the information."

"Sure."

Valerie stopped looking at him and lay on her back looking at the ceiling. He did it too. (Ugh... she's suffering, what a pain, but I'm not going to unbond from her if she doesn't. It has been a very serious mistake to have Bonded us as a Couple without her knowing that about me. How I have screwed it up, accustomed to the unconditional acceptance of the restfrom the people who know.)

Valerie spoke, "Don't suffer, my life."

(She is also feeling that I am suffering. That way she can't think clearly.) "Valerie, let's unbond."

"No, sweetheart, don't back out for so little. We have to be together in the good and the bad. Come here, let me hug you."

He let himself be embraced by her, trying to leave his mind blank, not think about anything so that Valerie wouldn't feel his suffering.

A minute later, she asked him, "Can I ask you things?"

"Of course, whatever you want."

"Did something special happen that made you make the decision?"

"Yes, it happened," Sev replied.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"I can't do it in detail, because I would have to reveal secrets from a friend to you."

"Tell me what you can," Valerie asked.

"The Gryff quartet was about to kill me."

"Remus too?" very alarmed.

"Remus was not to blame for anything.It was Sirius' fault," he answered.

"My!" she exclaimed out loud. "And yet you have forgiven him…" she understood.

"Of course. Everyone who knows what I just told you has also forgiven me."

"Well, I won't be any less, forget about it. The past doesn't matter, what you are now matters."

(Oof… what a relief.) "Thank you very much, Valerie." He cried. "Forgive me for not having told you sooner.I shouldn't have Bonded with you without you knowing."

"Come on, sweetheart, don't suffer," giving him lots of kisses. "The strange thing would have been if it had never crossed your mind with the life you've led.Forgive me for not having reacted well.I have betrayed your trust by rejecting you like this." She was also crying.

Valerie made him sit up, faced him and hugged him very tightly. "Hold me tight, come on.I'm an idiot, I'm making you suffer a lot, as if you didn't already have enough and you hadn't more than paid for your mistakes.Forgive me please."

"I have nothing to forgive you, Valerie. Let's unbond until we are better, if we are feeling the suffering of the other it will not go away."

"Okay."

They unbonded and continued speaking out loud.

"Prince, sweetheart, please, I need you to forgive me. I have crossed the line, I am very stupid. I am sure that everyone who knew your story instantly understood that you came to think like that and I have despised you by distancing myself from you. Please forgive me."

"Valerie, stop it, you're not to blame for anything. It was my fault for not having told you all this much sooner, since I found out that you had been in love with me for almost two months."

"Well, well, you found out less than a week ago, huh? And you don't have to air something like that if you don't feel like it. You told me as soon as you suspected that I might feel bad, I was the one who didn't react well, I'm not up to your level. You are risking your life every day for everyone, you are not going to live peacefully until the war is over, and I was giving importance to the fact that something stupid went through your head, knowing how alone you were and that you were tortured almost daily, both at home and at school. No, Prince, make no mistake, it wasn't your fault, it's me, I'm very slow-minded and not very smart."

"Valerie, please, stop it now. I am suffering as much or more than when we were bonded to hear you say all those things about yourself. Try to calm yourself down, which is what I'm trying to do, and when we feel better we'll talk calmly."

They stayed silent for a while, hugging each other. Sev tried to recover the feeling that had been useful for him other times to forgive himself. I am human and I make mistakes.They are remediable errors, they are not crimes, it is nothing that can't be fixed.As soon as I am aware, I put the means at my disposal to correct them.

He thought of Valerie too. It will not be the same between us again, that love so innocent and pure, so dedicated.She got scared when I told her about Dark Magic, her first reaction was to reproach me for having invented a curse.She, deep down in her soul, flatly rejects all that, she is not at all dirty and twisted like Deborah, capable of loving a murderer and whom turns on that I could have been a Death Eater.

Or like Lauren, who has loved me so much since she was a child that she herself would have been willing to become a murderer for me. Valerie will never fully accept me as I am. In that she is like Lily, who has a harder time assimilating that side of me, but she does it because she knows that it was a small season of my life compared to all the time we have been together and she deeply understands the reasons.

But Valerie, in reality, barely knows me yet, her love for me had no solid foundation. Deborah's do, she fell at my feet the day I told them my story, including about becoming a Death Eater, and since then she has taken great care to get to know me thoroughly.

As always, I got involved too quickly, and even a while ago I told her things that now I no longer believe are true at all, like that it would be enough for me to have her or to run away from here we alone. She was right when she told me that I was saying it because she made me feel very pleased.

Sev asked her, "Are you better, honey?"

"Not yet."

"I am, talk to me."

"How able you are to overcome discomfort," she commented.

"I'm very seasoned, my love."

"I need you to forgive me."

"I forgive you," he said.

"I still love you as much or more than before."

"Don't fool yourself, Valerie, you don't accept me as I really am. That past you told me about is still very present in my heart, in my way of being. When I play to dominate you, it's not just a game, it's how I really am. I like to hurt and being hurt, it turns me on a lot. And not only do I not find it difficult to cast curses and kill, but I love it. I am more malefic than many malefics, much more."

"But at the same time you are the best of all of us."

"You know, the alchemist's crucible. Very good and very bad at the same time."

"Wooow... it's true…" she exclaimed, admired. "I love you, you fascinate me, you attract me irremediably."

"Oh... so, you're no longer scared that I like Dark Magic?"

"I'm not. Not at all. What nonsense," with absolute conviction.

"I don't believe a word, Valerie, you're not like that. Don't lie to me, for whatever you want."

"No, sweetheart, really, it doesn't scare me, I can understand you. For you it has been a way to channel all the hatred you suffered, a good way to do it, without needing to hurt anyone, not like your father or your harassers did, you are much better than them."

"Thank you, Valerie, I believe you. Also, I'm going to explain myself a little better. Never, while I was thinking of becoming a Death Eater, did I realize that I should murder. I was very stupid, I only thought about being a powerful wizard."

"Oh…"

"And I never stopped being able to cast Patronus."

"Why haven't you started there?" she asked, impatient.

"Because that was not the essence of the matter. I was very serious about it, and if I had done it, I would have ended up becoming a murderer. I am very capable of murder, I was about to kill my father before I turned fifteen, the only thing that stopped me was not ending up in Azkaban."

"But you would never do it in cold blood or to innocent people."

"I think I would, if I had no other choice I would do it," Sev confessed. "Without going any further, if in the future I have to become a double agent as you mentioned the other day that could happen."

"I can understand it too. In any case you would be doing it out of necessity, to avoid as much as possible many more deaths."

"That is."

"And I also think that if you had become a Death Eater, sooner rather than later you would have repented and changed sides, because you would have continued to love Lily and she is in the spotlight," Valerie said. "You would have done anything to protect her even if she didn't love you."

"Very likely."

"You would have been willing to give your life for her."

"Without a moment's hesitation," he confirmed.

"You are not a murderer at all," with absolute conviction. "You never would have been nor will you be, even if you had murdered or will murder in the future. Even if you had been marked and killed innocents, you would never have stopped being able to cast Patronus, because your love is far above your hate. I even dare to say that your hatred makes your love much deeper."

"Oh…"

"I love you with all my being, Prince, even more than before, if that is possible," she declared.

"And I love you, Valerie."

They bonded again, and discovered that, in fact, they loved each other even more than before.

. . . . . . . . .

It was after seven thirty. Valerie, dressed in torn clothes, was practicing Sectumsempra with a cushion that had been Summoned and placed on the edge of the well. Each time, Sev, naked, would repair it with its counter-spell.

She had told him, "Ugh... sweetheart.Why didn't you also tell me from the beginning that you had invented a counter-spell for it?"

"I don't know, I haven't had time to explain it to you."

"What I have told you before, your love is far above your hate. Who but someone who loves very deeply is capable of creating something so beautiful simply by expressing an intention, and also capable of healing Dark Magic? You are wonderful. When did you invent it?"

"The counter-spell?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Last year. The spell before Christmas and the song after."

"In fourth year…how awesome…" Valerie was amazed. "A healing Dark Magic spell in fourth year.Not only are you wonderful, you are a genius.Never seen before, you are going to make a career in Medimagic, not only in Potions, but also in Charms.What Paul was saying the other day, you are going to go down in the History of Magic for many, many reasons, the most powerful wizard in history."

"If I survive."

"You will, my love, we will not let anything happen to you. You have a lot to offer."

She kissed him every time he sang, and by the fifth or sixth time she had learned it and was able to repair the cushion herself.

At a quarter to eight Deborah arrived.

"Wow, Deborah! The one who hates being unpunctual!" Sev received her out loud.

The three of them bonded.

"Don't talk to me about that, I've already been in quite a hurry," Deborah replied.

"What do you do with wet hair?" he asked. "You're going to catch a cold."

"And you naked?" laughing. "Aren't you ashamed?"

"Not in front of you, my love," Valerie told her and she went to give her a snog.

"I see that there has been an interesting topic," Deborah commented. "You have run out of your nightgown, Valerie, with how excited I wasto take it off you."

"It's our dear Prince's fault, he has gone crazy."

"Knowing him, I already imagine it, yeah."

They laughed.

"What are you doing with wet hair, Deborah?" Sev asked her again.

"I haven't dried it for not arrive too late. I have gone to the beach, I have bathed in the sea and then in a river that I have crossed to wash off the salt."

"Wow… great. Then you had a great time."

"A blast.There were big waves, with this wind," she said.

"And isn't it a little dangerous?"

"Of course it is, but you know danger turns me on, Prince."

"Ugh, Deborah… you shouldn't have done it alone. If something had happened to you we wouldn't have been able to rescue you."

"You have to take certain risks in life, also to have fun. You too could have crashed into the ground on Friday chasing Hippolyta."

"You're right. Keep practicing, Valerie, I'm going to help her dry her hair."

"No..." she replied, pitifully. "I want to chat with you, I already get it."

"True, you already get it."

"We'll dry it between the two of us," cheerful.

They sat on the grass, Deborah in the center and Valerie and Sev each on one side, and began to dry her hair with their wands.

"What were you doing?" asked Deborah. "Practice Sectumsempra?"

"Yes, I already know the counterspell too," Valerie responded.

"My, Prince. You haven't taught me that yet."

"True, next time we're alone I'll teach you," Sev replied.

"And how has it been for you, Valerie?" Deborah asked.

"Great, I already get it controlled, like the one he threw at the rapist's face," she answered.

"Wow… that was great."

"You don't know how upset she got when I told her that I had invented a dark spell," said Sev.

"What are you saying?" Deborah asked, very surprised.

"What you are hearing. We have had drama, besides after having Bonded. We had to unbond to make it go away because we were both suffering a lot."

"Ugh, Valerie... you are something that there is not..." annoyed. "I can't leave you alone, you've already made Prince's afternoon bitter."

"Hey!On the way here, you almost made it bitter and I made peace," replied Valerie, bluntly and recriminatingly.

"Girls!" Sev intervened, authoritarian, loudly. "Calm down! Nobody has made me bitter at all. I'm perfectly."

"Tell me, what happened?" Deborah asked, now calm.

They showed their conversation to Deborah. Meanwhile, they finished drying her hair and went to the kitchen to eat.

When they finished, Deborah said to them, "Well, then it was nothing.Now you know each other better and you love each other even more."

"That is," Sev said.

"I think you should have told her before Bonding with her, Prince."

"Of course."

"But nothing has happened either, now you have solved it," Deborah said. "Are you stuck, Valerie?"

"Not at all.You know that I forget very quickly, I don't get stuck," Valerie responded.

"No, she isn't," said Sev. "She's perfectly fine with me."

"How useful this Bond thing is to know how others are doing," Deborah commented.

"Of course, it is a wonderful magic."

"Can I tell Valerie what I think about the subject?" she asked him.

"Of course, I am not going to deny you from expressing your own opinion."

"It turns me on a lot to think that Prince has been on the verge of being a Death Eater. It makes me horny as hell."

"Oh..." Valerie said, amazed.

"And not only that, it would turn me on even more if he became one, if he actually became a murderer. If he changed sides, not as a double agent, but for real, I would still love him and protect him with my life."

"How awesome... You love him much more than I do, Deborah."

"It's not more or less, darling, I do it differently, but the essential idea is the same. I'm sure you would still love him too, you yourself have said that he would never be a murderer even if he murdered."

"True."

"Well, that's it, except that I already realized it long before we got involved, because I made a great effort to get to know him in depth, paying attention to him and talking to those who knew him better than me, and Prince is very, very, very good," Deborah continued. "There is no one as good as him, even if he says he is bad.He says it because he likes to be bad, but he's not bad at all."

They laughed heartily.

"Deborah, you know me better than I know myself," Sev said.

"Indeed. And more things, Valerie. If in the end he has to be a double agent, which we will do everything possible to ensure that this is not the case, we will not let the old man manipulate him, but if he makes that decision himself, I have already decided, I will allow myself to be marked with him."

"How awful!" – Valerie exclaimed out loud.

"I won't let you do it, Deborah," Sev said.

"You won't be able toavoid it," she said. "It's my decision."

"No way," authoritarian and blunt. "You'll pretend to be sympathetic, mark yourself, never."

"If you mark yourself, so do I," she more. "I want to live the same destiny as you.Its my decision."

(Ugh... I have to tell her about the Horcruxes as soon as possible,) Sev thought.(Next time we're alone, I should have done it last night. Although I suspect that won't make her back down. One more motivation to avoid becoming a double agent, I would drag Deborah with me.) "Well, let's leave the topic, otherwise we're going to start arguing as before," making peace.