"Well, nothing's on fire, that's promising," Janna offered as they arrived at the CRD Facility, dropping the illusion covering her.
"Nothing we can see," Giles said dryly as he parked next to Oz's van, the more modern vehicle having arrived several minutes before his 'classic' car.
Janna giggled. "I'm sure the children are fine and any friendly injuries will be healed without much effort."
"Oh yes, they have ways to heal people," Giles said, "I had forgotten about that. Healing magic is rather hard to come by, at least ones that don't require deals we shall not speak of."
"While my trainer wasn't nearly as big a packrat as theirs, rest assured, I also have a good deal of healing supplies and general health items," Janna told him. "Sadly I had completely forgotten to pack any form of birth control."
"Then we'll just have to do without," Giles said, bringing her hand to his lips.
"Are you two going to sit here and flirt all day?" Faith asked.
Giles sighed.
"You forgot she was back there, didn't you?" Janna asked.
"Yes, yes I did," Giles admitted.
"Nice work Lady J," Faith said. "I'm going to have to start taking notes when I see you working it."
"Find the right one and it's not work at all," Janna told her before they got out of the car, Faith slowly following as she considered her words.
The three entered the closed down factory and followed the sound of people talking, to a cafeteria.
"No, you want to be normal," Xander said, "I quite like not being easy prey."
"Normal?" Faith asked, "What did we walk into the middle of?"
"Thanks to everything I went through before getting the Hero's Medal, I'm superhuman," Xander said. "Buffy would prefer I was easy prey for vampires and whatever else we run across."
"I didn't say that!" Buffy defended herself.
"No, that's just what you meant," Willow said.
"She didn't mean it like that," Red jumped in to defend her best friend. "Mutating is bad, Xander should be Xander."
"Mutating?" Giles asked.
"I have the Wild Blood and Ocean Born blood gifts," Xander explained, "and while I'm very happy about it, they are not."
Faith snorted. "It's your body, they don't get a say."
"Thanks, Faith," Xander said, "I've been trying to get that across to them, but they've got some weird idea that they get a vote on it."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Buffy said, holding up her hands like she was trying to calm a wild horse. "We're not saying that, we're just saying getting mutated is bad and should be undone before anything worse happens."
"The Hyena and Fish incidents both started off looking benign," Red quickly added.
"These are two well known blood gifts, not an unknown or dangerous mutation," Willow said, "unless someone messes with things, they won't mutate from their current form."
"What do they do?" Faith asked.
"Wild Blood enhances all your physical stats and gives you insight into more animalistic beings," Marci offered.
"Ocean Born is much the same but in regards to marine life," Willow said, "also increased lung capacity and faster healing in the water."
"You're Aquaman?" Faith asked Xander with a grin.
"Nowhere near that strong," Xander said.
"Isn't Aquaman a wuss?" Faith asked.
"No," Xander and Oz chorused.
Oz gestured for Xander to take it.
"In his native environment, he's The Man," Xander said. "He can easily walk on the bottom of the Marianas Trench under miles of water and if Superman were to face him there he'd lose."
"As fascinating as this all is, perhaps we could get back on topic?" Giles suggested.
"Vamps have gotten really easy to stake, I feel good, I don't need to be fixed," Xander said bluntly.
"How strong and fast are you?" Wesley asked.
"He survived sex with Cordite with no broken bones or dislocated limbs," Pokegirl Amy offered.
"That's impressive," Marci said.
"I didn't have to hold back at all last night," Beth said brightly.
"In terms of fighting," An embarrassed Wesley said.
"Love is a battlefield," Oz said solemnly.
"Last couple of vamps I staked didn't get a chance to do more than blink," Xander said.
"You've been out staking vamps on your own?" Buffy asked, wide eyed.
"No," Xander said, "I've been out staking vamps with Cordite and Harmony."
"That's not safe!" Buffy told him.
"Cordite is stronger and faster than you are," Xander said.
"I meant with just Harmony," Buffy said.
"I don't go out hunting vampires with just Harmony," Xander said, rolling his eyes. "Cordite and Harmony."
"Oh, yeah that makes more sense," Buffy admitted.
"So, back to the plan," Willow said, gesturing to a whiteboard. "As Xander has an Ocean Born blood gift, he can easily place the modified Pokeball far enough out for it to be able to filter precious metals from the ocean currents."
"Which takes care of our financial woes," Xander said with a smile.
"A single medal and a billionaire would do that," Human Amy pointed out.
"It'd require them to be in-the-know, which I'm guessing isn't a common thing here," Willow said. "This solves the problem at a slower but safer rate."
"And not use up something we can't replace," Marci said.
"That too," Willow agreed. "I paid for express shipping and all the options for everything I'd need to fix that, but unfortunately they didn't arrive before we left."
"You did the best you could while half feral and scatterbrained," PokeAmy said. "Don't beat yourself up over it."
"Yeah, that's Cordite's job," Beth said, getting a laugh from all the pokegirls and Xander.
The air rippled and tore in the center of the room, causing most of the people to take cover or ready weapons just before a slender girl with glowing blue circular marks on her cheeks that resembled circuitry stepped out.
"Is there a pokegirl vixen named Willow here? She's the registered Alpha of Alexander Harris' Harem?" she asked as she consulted her clipboard.
"Um... That would be me," Willow said.
"Skuld Odinsdotter with North American Pokecenter's LLC," she introduced herself, "I have a delivery for you."
"I didn't know you could ship things interdimensionally," Willow said in disbelief.
"It's right there in our paperwork, shipping guaranteed no matter place or time," Skuld told her.
"Thank you," Willow said, "I can't tell you how much easier this will make things." She accepted the paperwork and started initialing where needed. "Um... Am I licensed for all of this?"
"Don't need to be," Skuld assured her, "this world isn't covered by the licensing laws."
"Oh... Okay," Willow said, watching in disbelief as a number of wooden robots carrying crates came through the portal and started stacking them at one end of the room.
"Elizabeth Summers?" Skuld asked as she accepted back the clipboard.
"Here," Buffy and Beth chorused.
"Not the local version," Skuld said.
"Here," Beth said.
"I need to grab a copy of your Slayer Spirit," Skuld told her, "Because right now our world is doing without."
"Yes, Ma'am," Beth said, stepping up to the young woman who laid a hand on her forehead which glowed for a second, making Beth waver on her feet before sitting down.
"Fun fact, Wild Blood blood gifts allow for developing bonds with wild spirits... like the Slayer, no pokegirl genes required," Skuld said as the last wooden robot vanished through the hole in the air. "Thank you for choosing Threads of Fate for shipping we can handle all your shipping needs," she said and waved as she stepped through the hole in the air which vanished.
"I can form a bond!" Beth exclaimed and ran over to hug Xander.
"What just happened?" Giles asked.
"The Norn of the Future, who is currently pretending to be a Pokegirl, delivered everything that Willow ordered," Janna explained.
"That was The Maiden?" Wesley asked in a near whisper.
"Yes," Marci agreed. "A handful of Goddesses are running around pretending to be pokegirls."
"Or have transformed into them," PokeAmy suggested.
"And no one's noticed?" Wesley asked in disbelief.
"Oh no, everyone's noticed," Marci said, "but are you going to tell a Goddess she can't cosplay as a pokegirl?"
"No, I don't believe I would," Wesley said.
"Taming later," Willow ordered Beth who was attempting to extract Xander's tonsils.
"Yes, Alpha," Beth said, climbing off Xander who looked a bit dazed from lack of oxygen.
"How do you feel?" Giles asked Beth. "After whatever she did to the Slayer Spirit?" he quickly added.
Beth considered the question for a moment and flexed her arms. "I feel... Stronger... Clearer."
"Yeah, that sounds like what happened to me when Xander brought me back with CPR," Buffy said thoughtfully.
"It certainly looked like she was doing CPR on him," Faith joked.
"There might be a connection," Wesley said thoughtfully.
"The situations are really nothing alike," Giles disagreed.
"The Maiden said something to Beth to cause that reaction, following whatever she did to the Slayer Spirit," Wesley pointed out. "I'm not saying the situations are similar, but the actions and their effects seem to have a connection."
"Possibly," Giles conceded.
"This was a lot more pleasant and a lot less panicky," Xander said.
"Does this change any of our plans?" Marci asked Willow.
"Not really," Willow said. "Not in the short term at least."
"Curing Werewolves?" Oz asked.
"It'll be a lot easier, but that was always a long term project," Willow told him.
"What all did you order?" Faith asked, fishing for information.
"Just about everything I could, a bunch of stuff I couldn't, and lots of stuff we probably don't need," Willow said. "I was already going feral and half crazy from losing Xander when I did all this."
Xander wrapped his arms around her from behind and she leaned back into him.
"We should probably go out front, Dad should be here shortly," Human Amy said.
"I'll try not to be gone too long," PokeAmy told Xander and Willow, hugging the pair.
"Still not sure how everything will work out, but I'll probably visit if nothing else," Human Amy said, hugging the two as well.
"Be safe," Xander told the two before they left.
"How're they going to deal with the whole feral thing?" Faith asked. "I mean, she needs sex and you're here."
"It doesn't have to be Xander or even a guy," Willow said, "any human will do, so Amy can just help her other self."
"I thought they needed Vitamin D for some reason," Faith said with a shrug.
"Where is Cordelia?" Giles asked, trying to change the subject before he learned more about the subject than he felt comfortable with.
"Getting drunk with Harmony and Cordite," Marci replied.
"Isn't that something we should be concerned about?" Buffy asked.
"No," Willow shook her head, "I made sure they had a full medical bag so they'll be fine."
"Cordite is a happy drunk," Marci said.
"When she's drunk we're happy," Beth and the pokegirls chorused with a giggle.
"And Cordelia is the same?" Giles asked.
"More or less," Xander agreed. "Relaxed and grabby, but pretty happy."
"Okay, so to get back on track," Willow said, "We're planning a beach trip so Xander can swim out and drop the molecular sieve, I've already started researching emancipation for him, and I've downloaded the appropriate textbooks to everyone's pokedex's so we can get caught up to where we need to be scholastically."
"Physical training?" Beth asked.
"We'll have to wait until Cordite feels more secure and determines what we need to concentrate on," Willow said. "I'll try and get some basic workout equipment so she doesn't completely destroy us when she's ready to train us again."
"Feels more secure?" Giles asked.
"Losing Xander was a nightmare," Willow said. "It was like having a hole ripped in our soul. Xander fills the hole the way he always did, but it's still traumatic so we'll all be a bit more clingy for a while."
"It was scary and we weren't even properly bonded," Beth said with a shudder. "It was like living in a house and someone tore out the floors in half the rooms."
"You're never allowed to die again, you know that right?" Marci asked Xander.
"I don't plan on shuffling off the mortal coil anytime soon," Xander assured them.
"I'm so glad you have blood gifts," Willow said, "cause Cordite is going to train you into the ground."
"I'm actually looking forward to it," Xander assured her, "I've mainly been winging things and relying on half remembered training from being possessed by a young soldier."
"You'll learn to fear it like we all do," Beth assured him. "Cordite is Death Incarnate."
"War probably fits better, but that implies a chance of failure," Willow said.
"Ha, praise me more!" Cordite demanded cheerfully as the obviously drunk bunny girl along with Cordelia and Harmony, in much the same state, had somehow snuck up on them.
Xander just grinned. "Ever seen Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail?"
"The cute little bunny that flies around removing heads?" Cordite guessed. "You are such a nerd!"
"Always," Xander said, grabbing and kissing her.
"That's so sweet," Harmony said with a drunken grin.
"Such a dork," Cordelia said wistfully.
"We came for... Food maybe," Harmony guessed.
"I'll order some pizzas," Willow promised as Cordite released Xander.
"Donuts," Cordelia said, grabbing a box before the three drunk girls departed.
"Was it just me or did Cordelia look taller?" Buffy asked.
"Cordite grabbed a Hero Medal for her," Willow said.
"Better than the friendly stabbing I expected," Xander said with a smile.
"At least she won't have any blood gifts," Red muttered.
"I'll go order the pizzas," Xander said.
"Get a dozen," Marci said, "I'm pretty sure Cordite swiped an extra medal for Harmony."
"So glad I was a packrat," Xander said as he left.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel, Mist of Shadows, and Kyrin Fireheart
