Another round of monitoring after school. This time, however, both the Student Council and the Disciplinary Committee are out together in full force. The principal even asked some of the staff to watch our backs. Mister Daimon, the PE teacher and Judo Club advisor, is our primary supervising adult. He checks in with us between Judo Club exercises. All this is out of an abundance of caution. The last week has seen a surge of sightings of more outsiders being brought in by Ousai students almost as soon as classes conclude for each day. All of the outsiders caught so far are students from Homurahara Academy, which is a high school on the opposite end of the city. The reports suggest that it's a romance kind of thing. Apparently, there's a new mobile dating app getting popular with teenagers. It's against school rules to have these outsiders in Ousai for such a purpose, but not against the law since these kids are being invited by our own. Until our faculty can reach an agreement with Homurahara's, there's little we can do aside from continuing to clear out as many students as possible after school. Thankfully, however, the ones we catch and give warnings to don't seem to come back, so overall, these intrusions are trending downwards. It may be a slow process, but hey, at least we won't have to do this forever.
Aria is my monitoring partner this time. Our patrol is just as uneventful as the other pairs, but we do our due diligence. Mutsumi can be heard leading a school chant as we pass by the field to reach the next building, along with the occasional shout of encouragement from Mister Daimon. The Judo Club's out lapping the track, which means we should be bumping into Daimon sooner or later.
"Artoria, you need to relax. It almost seems as if you're about to burst at any moment."
"Sorry, Aria. I bet I look like a paranoid madman right about now."
"Your shoulders are tense and your fists are clenched like you're ready to get into a fight."
"Well, these Homurahara kids are mostly male."
"Fortunately, there haven't been any incidents of violence. Our orders just are to write down their IDs, and then dismiss them with a warning. Not subjugate them into our boy toys."
I scoff. "Yeah, I guess we ought to leave that honor to Miss Yokoshima. She's probably been having the time of her life this entire week."
Aria laughs. "It'd certainly explain why she seems to be disappearing so much after hours lately. A predator on the prowl to catch lesser predators in defense of our school. Almost poetic, isn't it?"
"Depending on her level of contribution to the effort, she'll serve as a deterrent to all of Homurahara, if nothing else." I try to laugh along with Aria, but mine quickly devolves into nervous tittering. Even though this started out as a joke, the likelihood of it being truth is — the more that I think about it — quite high. Especially when considering who exactly it is we're joking about. I feel myself tense up again, yet for a different reason. A Yokoshima-related one.
Aria places her hand on my shoulder. "You're doing it again, Artoria. Listen, you don't have to hide anything from me. We can stop by the restrooms if you're all pent-up. I'll wait outside while you rub one out."
My lips twist. "Pretty sure that's not going to help, Aria."
"Oh, my! If you're asking for my assistance, you'll need to give me some time to mentally prepare for girl-on-girl."
"Aria, please! We're on duty."
She just smiles. "I'm sorry, Artoria. Just trying to lighten the mood."
"I know. I'm sorry for shouting. It's just, like . . . for a second, there, you kind of scared the crap out of me."
Aria gasps. "So I've lightened your bowels, too?" She's so loud that everyone on the track basically freezes mid-run.
I try to usher her into the next building, but she's stiff as a board while breathing really hard. I'm forced to push her off the scene like a busted cart. Before disappearing out of sight, I shout a quick apology back to the poor girl on the track who fell flat on her face. I think that was Chiri, actually. Once we're inside, I shake her by the shoulders and plead, "Aria, snap out of it!" When she gets riled up like this, though, it's kind of hard to settle her down. It'll just have to run its course. Ugh, I should've known better than to mention anything even remotely related to the functions of the butt around this girl.
Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream echoes in the halls. It's Kaede. "S-stop right there!" she shrieks. "I said stop!"
"Split up!"
"Okay!"
I definitely don't recognize those last two voices. From around the corner, a girl in a Homurahara uniform dashes from right to left. Aria and I trade a look before starting to give chase. Although, what stops us dead in our tracks is another Homurahara who rounds the same corner and skids to a stop before us. This one is male. Unluckily for him, he chose the wrong getaway route. He begins stepping back from us as if considering trying to escape, but I shake my head to give him his one and only warning. He then sulks and hunches over, surrendering.
Mister Daimon runs up to the entrance we came from. The entire Judo Club is hot on his tail. "What's going on here?" he demands. "Shichijou and Pendragon. Who was screaming just now?"
"Please, let us through!" comes Shino's voice. The crowd parts so she and Takatoshi can reach us.
"Yo," says Suzu. She appears from the same corner the Homuraharas came from, looking like she's given up on reality. Kaede's being dragged along by the kneecaps behind her, clinging onto Suzu like a child who's just seen the boogie monster. Beside them are two ashamed-looking Ousai students, a boy and girl. These must be the liaisons to blame for this encounter. The immediate consideration, though, is given to Kaede first and foremost.
"Igarashi!" Shino rushes to her side. "Have you been hurt?" she asks with worry.
"How's your hymen?" asks Aria with even more worry. I join Daimon and Takatoshi in shushing her before we wait for Kaede to speak.
Kaede points at the Homurahara boy. "H-he touched my elbow as he ran p-past me." Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. I swear, we really should start a GoFundMe for Kaede and androphobia therapy one of these days. She screamed like she fell off a cliff, or something.
The Judo girls are back on the track at the behest of Mister Daimon, while he remains. Miss Koyama, the science teacher, arrives with another pair of monitors. Per Koyama, the rest of our group, which consists purely of Disciplinary Committee members, are on their way to make sure that the Homurahara girl who got away is truly off of school grounds before continuing general patrol. The Homurahara boy in our custody is having his ID card info written down while simultaneously being given a scolding by Shino for triggering Kaede's anxiety disorder. He turns to Kaede with an apologetic expression, but this only causes the androphobe to panic and jump behind Takatoshi. And apparently, I'm the only one who took notice of exactly who she chose to hide behind. Wait, scratch that. Shino and Suzu have the look.
Mister Daimon crosses his arms and stands directly in front of the Homurahara kid. The difference in size is staggering. And from the way the kid is shaking, he agrees. "You're free to go this time," Daimon tells him. "However, if I catch you in this school on anything other than valid business again, your parents will be getting a phone call." At this, the kid's horror intensifies. He then heads for the door, bowing back to us every few steps.
Now the attention turns to the Ousai students responsible for bringing in these outsiders. "As for you two," growls Shino. "You know the rules. What do you have to say for yourselves?"
Nothing more is said, but the duo in question starts to melt at the collective stares. Takatoshi, however, breaks the tension with that award-winning smile of his. "We know you know what we're about to tell you," he says to the duo. "I'd like to add something, though. Look, it's fine by the rules for you to date a student from another school, but just keep it within reason, and completely off-campus, okay?" This manages to calm everybody down. Not only are myself, Shino, and both teachers impressed with Takatoshi, but even Kaede, as well. I don't see why she needs to keep her arms wrapped around his waist anymore, but okay.
"We're so sorry, Vice President," one of the students says. "We shouldn't have done this. It's just that it's such an inconvenience, you see."
"It's true, Vice President, everyone," says the other. "They live so far that by the time we meet up after school, it's almost bedtime. They get out a lot earlier than we do because of our club duties."
"And because of our family obligations, we can't really see them on the weekends either."
Shino snaps her fingers. "Don't you see, then? The solution is simple!" She presses both students together into an awkward hug. "Just date each other! Keep it in Ousai!"
"B-but, President. We're cousins."
Shino flinches, yet doesn't stop herself. "Then, keep it in the family!"
"Wincest is a very popular fetish these days!" adds Aria.
I join Takatoshi, Suzu, Kaede, and Miss Koyama in saying, "Stop throwing gasoline onto a fire!"
