The day is cool. Only the birds are chirping, their soft melodies gracing the world with not a cicada's harsh squawks to be heard. Shades of pink fall in seemingly every which way the breeze blows. The cherry blossoms are still blooming in all of their splendor, and it is truly a sight to behold. My feet refuse to move. I'm standing here in one of Ousai's many walkways, almost motionless, as a willing victim to a Japanese spring. To my splendid surprise, a saintly figure shimmers into existence through the drizzling of petals like a hero returning home in the tales of old. I smile warmly at Takatoshi Tsuda, who returns the gesture in kind. He approaches in a relaxed fashion as he often does. The most popular boy in Ousai. For all the best reasons. Even I must admit that this picturesque scene truly does this young man justice.

We lock eyes once we meet. A comfortable silence follows. Suddenly, he asks, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." I don't hesitate.

"Good. I trust you, too." With that, we walk side by side down the path.

"Is it true that it's only until noon?"

He hums to the affirmative. "Morning only. After that, you're supposed to apologize to everybody you got."

"All right. That would've been good to know if it weren't for the fact that I haven't fooled a single person since we arrived on campus."

"Same." Takatoshi then stops right as I do. The same thought must have crossed our minds. We lock eyes once more, refusing to fully commit to suspecting the other of wrongdoing. "Truce, right?" he asks.

"Truce. I give you my word."

He chuckles. "I'll take it. Your word is as good as gold, Pendragon."

"Now you're just trying to make me blush. I hope this isn't some setup for a sneak attack."

"Not my style." We then resume our aimless stroll through nature's allure.

I sigh, holding out my hand in the hope that a stray petal might find its way onto my palm. Two do in short order, and I can't help but beam. "This is my first spring in Japan. I've been told that the sakura trees in bloom would be magical, but I kind of dismissed it as hyperbole. Boy, was I wrong."

"They are pretty magnificent, aren't they? I've lived here my whole life, and even I still find myself mesmerized by them almost every year."

It's so reassuring to know that I have such a friend as Takatoshi. Particularly on a day like today. I'm not scared, but my competitive side is compelling me to avoid being the biggest loser amongst the council, so I figure my best chance is to stay with Takatoshi as much as I can before noon. "Hey, so . . . I'm free for a bit, but what about you? You heading anywhere in particular?"

"The Prez asked me to meet her in the council room really quick. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to it, considering."

"I'll tag along if you want."

"Wouldn't mind. When's your next appointment, though? Would you be able to make it?"

"It's not until eleven-twenty in the Fine Arts club room." I check my watch to confirm the hour, and then add, "I got plenty of time."

"Oh, no. Is this the 'inspection of dire importance' that Hagimura wrote about on the board?"

"Sure is. I'm guessing I just got to make sure that there aren't any more wayward boobs hanging out in the open again."

"It's those new girls from last year, man. They practically took over the whole club."

"Probably. You know, I heard they're transplants from Tokyo."

"That'd explain a lot, actually."

"By the way, I haven't seen Suzu in person all morning. You don't think . . ."

He shakes his head. "Honestly, I don't see Hagimura as the type, so I doubt we have to worry about her. Then again, you never really know until it happens."

"True. Still, it sounds like it's all about the president and Aria. I'm not sure who else is on campus today, but we definitely should be on the lookout for those two."

"Uh, yeah . . ."

Uh-oh. Guess he's already been had. Now, I got fooled by Shino earlier, but I suppose Takatoshi doesn't need to know that quite yet. Besides, I want to hear his story first. "You got-got already, didn't you?" I ask.

"Yup."

"Was it Aria? You were with her, weren't you? Earlier, at the dojo?"

". . . I was."

That's cute. He's playing coy with a fellow Grumbler. I prod him with my elbow. "Anything happen? You know you have to tell me at this point."

He sighs. "I walk in to meet with her. First thing she tells me is that Mister Daimon's running late. I joke that the big guy's probably caught up in admiring the cherry blossoms or something. Then she goes, 'What a shame. I'm glad that didn't happen to you, Tsuda, because I got some pink for you right here!' And then she pulls up her skirt right at me!"

"Dude! You got William Wallace'd by Aria?"

"Yes, and no. She had shorts on. Before I had realized that, though, I jumped back and covered my eyes because you know a guy is always a criminal in a situation like that."

"Unfortunately, yeah."

"There was no way for me to win. My reaction counted. She totally got me."

"Not exactly fair and square, though." I find myself frowning at his own frown. With that, I decide to try lightening the mood somewhat by adjusting the subject. "So, Captain Bare-Bottom's wearing shorts now?"

He chuckles, sensing my intent. "For today, at least. Let's hope it becomes an everyday thing for her, though."

"Even if she does keep trying to do all her upskirt jokes like usual, shorts would be way better than when she was going commando all last year. That's for sure."

"Believe it or not, she only recently started doing that. If the Prez and Uomi are to be believed."

"Wait. You mean to tell me that Aria Shichijou actually wore panties once upon a time?"

"Nope. Something even weirder. Get a load of this. The first few months that I knew her, she drew as much attention as possible to the fact that she had to wear a freakin' chastity belt!"

"No way. You're shitting me."

"I shit you not."

"Like, a full-on . . ."

"All steel. With a lock and key."

"Whoa, okay." A smirk crosses my lips. "So, let me get this straight. You're saying that she stopped wearing a chastity belt after she got to know you a little more?"

He laughs. "You've been spending too much time with the Prez."

"Not quite there yet, but if you ever catch me doing something that's a little too Shino-like, please feel free to just dropkick me square in the face."

"If it comes to that point, that hit just might restart your brain cells."

"That's the hope."

"Oh! And guess what? I tried to even it out with Shichijou by fooling her back, but it totally backfired."

"What happened?"

"We had to wear rubber gloves during the inspection, so I got the idea of making up a story about how they were manufactured. They take a line of factory workers with different hand sizes and then tell them to dip their hands in raw latex."

"She saw right through it and called you out?"

"Not exactly. She just started giggling and wondered if that's how condoms were also made."

"Oh, God. Yeah, that sounds like Aria. Although, to be fair, of all the people you could've tried to fool with that story, why'd you choose her?"

"Dude. There's barely thirty people on campus right now, and most of them are teachers. At the time, it was a choice between Shichijou, or Mister Daimon."

I laugh, resting a hand sympathetically on the small of his back. "Good choice, then. Otherwise, you probably would've been doing push-ups until your senior year."

"Right?"

"H-hey!" We turn around to see the chief of our Disciplinary Committee, Kaede Igarashi, rushing up. Once she reaches us, she maintains a long accusatory stare. We have no idea why. "What do you two think you're doing?" she finally demands, pointing.

"Is there a problem, Chief?" I ask. "We were only walking and having a chat."

"Right. With your hand pulling him closer to you?"

Takatoshi chuckles. "Sorry if it looked like that, Igarashi. I was telling Pendragon about my day so far, and she just patted me on the back. That's all."

"Let's say that I understand that, but why the lower back, of all places? That seems a bit too intimate of a spot, if you ask me." Hey, come on. It's not like I gave him a slap on the ass. "As a member of the student council, Pendragon, I expect you to be well aware of Ousai's limitations on inter-student physical contact. Especially when it concerns the opposite sex. Care to explain yourself?"

"I don't know. Takatoshi's like, eighteen feet tall. If his shoulder wasn't so out of the way for me, I probably would've put my hand there instead. I do apologize if there was a misunderstanding here, Chief."

"Well, he is rather tall," mutters Kaede. "So, then. Is that really all, you two? Just an overly familiar conversation between two friends? Both of whom just so happen to be a boy and a girl on a campus where excessive touching is not permitted?" Her hands are planted firmly on her hips. She may be doing her best to assert her authority as the chief of the Disciplinary Committee, but that blush in her face is a dead giveaway. Too easy.

"Looks like she isn't buying it, Taka. We'll talk about our date later."

It only takes him a second. "I'll be counting the minutes, Artoria."

The best way I can describe the look which comes upon Kaede's face afterwards is that it's like she just stubbed her shin on the edge of a coffee table while biting into a really sour lemon. She stutters out an incomprehensible thought, at which point, neither of us can take it anymore.

"April Fools," we announce.

"O-oh." A moment passes before Kaede settles down. She checks her watch to confirm that it's still before noon. At that, the genuine relief she shows puts an even bigger grin on our faces. "Okay, I admit it. You fooled me."

Takatoshi and I trade a fist-bump. "At least we got one," he says.

Kaede chuckles. "Carry on, then, student council. Just please keep the pranks and jokes as clean and controversy-free as possible, all right? There may not be many students here today, but you know how fast gossip travels around Ousai. That goes double for when all the freshmen start coming in next week."

"You got it, Igarashi."

"Sure thing, Chief."

"And also, please extend that same advice to Shichijou and Amakusa when you get the chance."

Takatoshi and I give a much more serious nod at that. "Absolutely," we say. Kaede gives us a knowing smile before we go our separate ways.

"Speaking of Shino, she totally got me," I admit to Takatoshi at last. "So, don't feel too bad. I'm down one point, as well."

"How'd she get you?"

"This morning at my locker, she walked right up to greet me like everything was perfectly normal. Except for the fact that she had something like forty pads stuck in her shirt to make her chest look ginormous!"

"I knew it! I thought I was seeing things! I saw her bouncing around earlier before she disappeared around a corner. That rack was titanic." At that, my inner Shino-Aria compels me to follow-up with a 'tit' pun, but I bite my tongue. I may be a Heroic Spirit, but dropkicks to the face still hurt, man.

Once we reach the outside of the student council room, Takatoshi's pace slows. He rests his hand on the knob, though doesn't turn it. "Moment of truth," he says. "I'm glad you decided to come here with me, Pendragon, but maybe you should reconsider now. Who knows what the Prez might have cooked up in there?"

"Dude, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens in that room, I got your back."

His smile proves to be contagious. "Appreciate it."

The door opens without incident. Nothing drops on us. Nothing pops out. So far, so good. Then it hits us both: the smell. Guess someone's having a seafood brunch.

Entering with caution, we examine the seemingly empty room for anything out of the ordinary. Or at least, I do. It takes me a moment to realize that Takatoshi's all clammed up. I never imagined that I would bear witness to seeing him, out of all people, shaking in primordial fear. My instincts go haywire, and I have to really fight the urge to blow my whole cover, phase into my armor, and whisk him far away to safety. Chill, Artoria. There's got to be a rational explanation for all this. I follow his gaze to confirm what he's looking at.

Right there on the table is a full raw squid on a plate. Okay. So what? This is Japan. Even I've seen something like this a hundred times by now, so what the hell's got him so spooked?

"Takatoshi?" No answer. I grab his forearm and squeeze to reassure him. Still no answer. "Speak to me, Takatoshi. What's wrong?"

"The s-s-squid." He's fixated on that thing.

"Yeah, I know. It's just some food on a plate. Isn't it? I mean, we saw your dad munching on a couple of squid the other night, and you didn't bat an eye then."

"This is different, Pendragon. That thing being here in this room. In this room. I-I, uh . . . I don't like where this is going, okay? I have to leave. I have to get out of here right now." Despite this, he remains frozen in place. If anything, his shaking only intensifies. I'm now most worried for his health at this point.

"You're not going anywhere. Not like this."

"Anything but squid . . ."

I step up in front of him and cradle his hands into my own, trying to redirect his attention onto me instead of that demonic cephalopod. I grumble internally, cursing the fact that my idea would've worked much better if he wasn't eighteen feet tall.

Okay, fine. That's a cop-out. It's because I'm almost as short as Suzu. If I were just a few inches higher, I could've at least tiptoed into his peripheral vision.

"Come on," I say to him soothingly, trying to pull him towards the desk so he can sit. He doesn't budge, though. Some light slaps to the cheek bring him back somewhat. He accepts my escort towards the table, though not all the way. I free a hand to pull a chair over and maneuver it behind him. His knees nearly buckle once I steer him into the seat. From there, I grip his shoulders tightly to encourage him. "I'm here, Takatoshi. Don't you worry about a thing. Now, tell me what's going on. What does that squid being here in this room specifically have to do with you turning into a paralyzed mess?"

"This . . . this has happened before." His voice sounds much calmer than it did previously. However, there's an almost robotic quality to it now. "I've been in this situation before. An ordeal which I thought I would never have to relive. The Squid Incident, Pendragon. I'm talking about the Squid Incident."

"The Squid Incident?"

He takes in a long, wobbly breath before starting. "It was a semi-coincidental series of unfortunate events that took place right before you came to Ousai. The incident involved myself, Amakusa, Shichijou, Hagimura, Hata, and even Kotomi when she was visiting me after school. Long story, short? I was the punchline in a Perv's never-ending joke. I was the punchline again, and again, and again." He hides his face in his hands and growls in frustration. "And again and again and again!" When he looks back up at me, I see little more than a haunting thousand-yard stare. "I'll spare you the details, Pendragon, but let's just say that, since then, I've never been able to touch even a milligram of squid."

I'm close to tears. "Not even that most glorious of all seafood-related gifts from God Himself — deep-fried, breaded calamari rings?" He shakes his head ever so meticulously. "Oh, you poor, poor thing! Come here." In silence, we sit together; sharing the pain of such a mouthwatering delicacy forever denied.

A throat clears firmly at the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" Shino asks flatly.

I shoot up a glare. Rather than force an excuse for having to comfort my best friend in his hour of need, I, with an equal amount of deadpan in my voice, call attention to the white-colored jug that she's carrying. "What's with the Clorox?"

She groans. "I was really hoping to get this all prepared before you or any of the others showed up, Pendragon. Also, would you mind getting up from his lap already? I've got to do this quick, and you guys are kind of turning me on."

"Please just say distracting like a normal person," says Takatoshi.

"Same thing."

As we watch Shino place the jug, some rags, and now a raw fish right next to the squid, Takatoshi rediscovers his strength. "Wait, hold on here." He gives me a pat to allow him to stand. "Prez, is this all your doing?"

"Of course!"

"Why squid?" he demands animatedly. "You know very well what happened last time! You were there!"

Shino grins with a triumphant flourish. "And that's exactly where I got the idea for this April Fools prank to end all April Fools pranks!"

"What?"

"See, look. Squid for the **** smell, Clorox for the *** smell, fish for the ***** smell, and you and me for the punchline! Ingenious, isn't it?" She then looks directly at me and pouts. "Tsuda! Didn't I specifically request you to come here on your own?"

Takatoshi groans. "Well sorry, Prez. I didn't think it'd be such a big deal. I thought that, at best, you just wanted me to do some quick paperwork, and at worst, you'd try to prank me somehow."

"And I was the one who offered to join him in case you tried to do either. How were we supposed to know you wanted to include him in a prank?"

"Fine. Since you're both here, you may as well both help. The real target for this whole trick is Aria, after all."

Takatoshi and I trade a glance, bewildered. "Aria?" we ask.

"It's for two separate reasons, I suppose." Shino is already fast at work rubbing a rag dampened with Clorox onto the table. She's also already tucked the fish and squid away on a shelf, presumably so they won't be immediately noticeable to any who enter. "Mostly, this is going to serve as payback for how good Aria got me last year."

"Last April Fools, you mean?" asks Takatoshi.

"Yes, I . . ." Her pace slows down until she comes to a complete stop. She then tosses the rag onto the tabletop and hugs herself, looking away like she's ready to cry.

My lips twist in sympathy. "President, if this is a touchy subject for you . . ."

"Yeah. I still want answers, but if you can't talk about it, we'll understand."

"No, guys. It's okay. Besides, you at least deserve to know my reasons, Tsuda, since I expected this squid to upset you after what happened last time." Okay. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to need details about this whole squid thing eventually. For now, though?

"All right, then," I say. "We're all ears."

"Let's hear it, Prez."

She takes a deep breath to steady herself. "You both already know that Aria and I have been close since we first met. Also, you already know that she and I have been a part of the student council since our first day in Ousai. Our entire freshman year was wonderful, of course! Except for the fact that during the month of March, I took notice that, all of the sudden, Aria started wearing extra shirt layers wherever we went. Pendragon?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Why would a teenaged girl want to wear extra shirt layers out of the blue on a regular basis?"

I shrug. "Because she's feeling chilly?"

"Aside from that."

"Umm . . . oh. Oh! She wants to hide the fact that her boobs are growing."

"That's a thing?" asks Takatoshi.

"Shush, Tsuda." Shino clears her throat. "Precisely, Pendragon. Well, probably also to hide a baby bump, but that's not what we're talking about here. I had trouble believing that Aria's boobs were suddenly growing that much. I mean, she still ran as fast as I did. She never showed any change in her balance. She never even knocked over any flower vases which were precariously placed at the very edge of tables."

"How would you even notice those kinds of things?"

"Tsuda! I said, shush! Anyways, because of all that, I figured out that she must have been spending those whole four weeks of March setting me up for the ultimate April Fool's Day prank!"

We can't believe what we're hearing. "You thought that Aria was going to prank you into thinking that her boobs grew?" I ask.

"Now you see! Since I caught onto her plan in time, I was going to turn the tables right around on her! We were at the front of the school on April First. I marched right up to Aria Shichijou, spun her towards the girls hanging out by the entrance, and then declared that her bigger boobs were nothing more than a trick!" Shino pauses at this for effect, her fist sticking up in the air in victory. Her expression then droops, hands falling limp at her sides. "Though it wasn't meant to be. All I ended up revealing was that those bazookas she was packing beneath her bra were the real deal all along! Oh, God. It was so embarrassing." She's dramatically collapsed upon the floor at this point. Neither of us can take her seriously.

"That . . . doesn't sound like she pranked you, President."

"It sounds more like you stuck your own hand in a mousetrap that you, yourself, set up."

Shino is back on her feet. "But last year's provocation isn't the only reason for reprisal!"

"Or you could just ignore us."

"Yeah. That's cool, too."

"Today's prank will also act as payback for what happened back at Swim Girl's farewell party!"

I lean towards Takatoshi. "Did we never find out her name that night?"

"I sure didn't."

"Aria outplayed me at the party in all legitimacy. I fully admit my defeat. I should've been the first one to notice Tsuda's new shoes, but we were too caught up in saving Hagimura's croquettes. Not that I blame Hagimura, mind you! Anyways, I totally would've let it go, but then Aria's cold-blooded betrayal hurt me more than I thought it would."

"Betrayal?" I ask. "What betrayal?"

Shino doesn't even seem to have heard me. She's staring intensely at the wall; hand on her chin and presumably in deep thought. "Pulling so far ahead of me on the Grand Prix of Love is one thing, but air-humping him from behind when he's not paying attention? That's a whole other thing entirely! A heartless and devious low-blow, Aria Shichijou. Never mind how funny it looked when your nut sack flopped all over the place as you thrusted. You already won that night. What sense was there in rubbing it in?"

"What the hell are you mumbling about?" asks Takatoshi.

Shino gasps sharply. "Forget I said anything, Tsuda!" Her face goes completely red and she hides herself in the corner. "Oh, God. I forgot you were here for a second."

Takatoshi looks at me and raises a hand directed at Shino, perplexed. "Do you have the faintest flying frick of what's even going on right now?"

"Yeah, I do. Just . . . wait right here for a minute, all right?"

"Okay?"

As much of an absolute champion as Takatoshi is when it comes to trading blows with pushy, dirty-minded women, we find ourselves in a situation where his expertise just cannot come into play. I, myself, am not exactly an expert on these matters, either, but I still get it. Better than he does, at least.

My arm wraps around Shino's waist as tenderly as possible, anticipating her startled jump from being so far-gone in her mental breakdown. "Shino, listen to me," I whisper. "Are you listening?"

"Yes, Pendragon. I am."

"Aria didn't air-hump Takatoshi to piss you off. She did it to try to make you laugh. She noticed you were pouting that whole night."

"How do you know?"

"She told me! Remember when you and Suzu walked off ahead of us after the party? She pulled me aside to ask what was wrong."

"What did you tell her, exactly?"

"Everything, and you know exactly what I mean."

Shino frowns. "I do."

"She tried apologizing to you. She really did try."

"We made up eventually, of course, but before that? On that night after we all got home? She tried calling me a bunch. I didn't answer."

"I know you didn't. She called me instead and we talked about the whole thing again. She felt really bad, you know."

"So, she really wasn't rubbing it in?"

"No! Come on. You know her better than I do. Aria Shichijou's one of the sweetest girls in the world! Sure, she's also a dirty little pervert just like you, but you know what I mean." I smile, glad that I was able to get Shino to laugh in her state. "So, you guys made up, but you never told Aria why you were upset, exactly?"

She shakes her head in shame. "No. I was just so happy we were talking again. I regret it all now. She's my best friend. I shouldn't have kept anything from her. And I feel terrible now that I know I made her sad for no reason after all."

"You be sure to tell her all this, okay? Now as for, quote-unquote, pulling so far ahead of you on the Grand Prix of Love? She saw an opportunity to score some Takatoshi points, and she took it. Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't do the same thing."

Shino does look me in the eye, but freezes for several tense seconds. Finally, she admits, "I think I'd be too scared to go through with it." Hold up for one diddly darn second. Did Shino Freakin' Amakusa just actually, kind-of confirm her crush on Takatoshi Tsuda? Hallelujah. Never again should the power of girl talk be underestimated.

"That's okay, Shino. Nobody says you have to until you're ready to do it. So, are you feeling better?"

She smiles, wiping the last traces of tears from her eyes. "I am. Thank you, Pendragon. Thank you."

I pat her on the chest. "Great! Now what do you say we forget all about this whole sex prank, and air out this room before anybody —"

"No!" She grabs onto my shoulders to stop me. Actually, her hands are on my boobs for some reason, but damn it — let's pretend she meant to grab my shoulders! "I'm in too deep, Pendragon," she pleads. "I can't stop now."

"Y-yes, you can!"

"No, I'm committed! I spent the whole morning getting everything together. I can't just let this all go to waste!" With that, she's back at the table picking up where she left off.

I shake my head, amazed. "I'm not remembering the last few months wrongly, am I? President Amakusa has never been the vengeful type, has she?"

"Not once," says Takatoshi. "Not until now, at least."

"Not being vengeful anymore!" she says as she scrubs. "Just want to make that clear. This is now for the sake of the funniest April Fool's Day prank this school has ever seen! Oh, and that reminds me." She stops and clasps her hands at us, begging. "You guys are with me on this one, right? Right?"

Takatoshi sighs heavily. He looks at me for my opinion, to which I can only shrug in agreement. "All right, Prez," he says. "I'm in."

Shakily, a smile forms on Shino's lips. "Thank you so much, Tsuda. You don't know how much this means to me. Pendragon, may I count on your support, as well?"

"I'm all yours, President."

"You guys are the best."

"So, what can we do to help?" asks Takatoshi.

She takes a step towards him and reaches for his belt. "Take those pants off, Tsuda."

Red flag. I'm immediately standing between them. "Crossing a line, Shino."

"No-no-no-no-no! It'll make sense, Pendragon. I swear!" She dodges around me, gets down on one knee, and manages to get a pinch at Takatoshi's zipper before he jumps back. Unfortunately, the wall stops his retreat, so he resorts to wrestling away.

"Would you stop it?" he demands.

"But this won't work unless you set that trouser snake on the loose! Hey, at least strip down to your underwear, will you? That'll be good enough!"

I'm trying to get her in a full nelson hold from behind. Carefully, though, so as not to hurt her or Takatoshi. However, she's wiggling around too much for me to maneuver my other arm in. The three of us end up in a clumsy waltz across the floor. By chance, I trip on somebody's foot and fall flat on my ass. Before I can get back in there, the door slams open.

"I heard a zipper! Who's getting lucky in here?" It's Miss Yokoshima. Beside her are Aria and Suzu.

Shino is on her knees, of course, in front of Takatoshi with her hands clasped in his, of course. And of course, their hands are exactly at crotch level. Everybody's frozen. Both sides try to process what on Earth is now happening. Once it kicks in, the reactions sally forth.

Takatoshi's about one-fifth as nervous as Shino, who herself is all but panicking at this point. My poker face feels uneven as hell. Yokoshima and Aria are salivating, whereas Suzu's simply flabbergasted. "W-what's going on here?" she asks.

A twinkle appears in Takatoshi's eye. "Do you guys mind?" he says. "You're kind of ruining the moment here. President Shino Amakusa just proposed to me." Gasps all around.

Shino shoots an exhilarated glance at Takatoshi before jumping to her feet. "And Tsuda said yes! In your face, Aria!" She makes a grand show of holding out his hand with both their fingers clearly intertwined.

Their eyes turn to me for answers. Holding up my phone to the room, I say, "President, Vice President? The priest said he's available to officiate this Sunday."

Yokoshima loses all color in her face. "Even these damned kids are going to beat me to the altar." That's one.

"I don't . . . what — how? W-why?" Suzu's broken. That's two.

And I'm going to take Aria being one step away from pulling down her shorts and going to town on herself as number three. Mischievous looks exchange between Takatoshi, Shino, and me. I think it's safe to call this a win.

"April Fools!"

It's amazing how much of a relief it is once the prank's completely over. We all share a laugh, and then admissions of defeat are accepted. Three for one, baby! Shino's in first place for now, but at least Takatoshi and I aren't last anymore!

Once we all settle back down, Yokoshima turns to leave the room to skirt her duties as the council's supervising teacher, which is so not unusual that nobody gives it a second thought. What does catch our attention, however, is the fact that she's stopped at the doorway, pondering. "By the way," she says. All eyes turn to her. "Would you care to explain why it smells like an orgy in here?"

Shino squeals, her face lighting up. "It's because —"

"Her failed prank," Takatoshi and I say very clearly. We point at the fish and squid tucked away on the shelf to confirm it. Shino sulks at this, dejected at not being able to get another April Fools in. Yokoshima sulks for a different reason entirely. She wipes the drool from her mouth and leaves with dragging feet.

Takatoshi chuckles and then walks to his seat. Rather, he tries to. Something stops him dead in his tracks. Turns out that after all this time, Shino has yet to let go of his hand. "Where do you think you're going?" she mumbles with a pout. Lightheartedly, Takatoshi looks to me for assistance. I can only cross my arms and laugh.

"Oh, man. We might need to call in the jaws of life for this one."


Author's Note: Credit where credit is due. The proposal prank was inspired by the "A Joke or For Real" segment of SYD #465, except the roles are reversed.