Aria is suspended upside-down, being held at the ankles by Takatoshi as he shakes away. That is the first thing that I see upon entering the student council room. I walk right back out.
"Dude, come on! I could really use your help."
Sighing, I return to observe the shaking still taking place with an almost passive curiosity. "If Takatoshi's involved, then I know that whatever's even happening right now is perfectly benign."
"There is indeed a completely innocuous explanation for all of this!" says Aria with an appropriate vibrato in her voice. "You'll see the reason very soon. I promise!" The act takes place for several more seconds. The only sounds to be heard are the ones you would expect to hear from an extremely busty girl being treated like a clogged saltshaker, including her skirt flopping up and down. Thankfully, she still has those shorts on.
"Shichijou, it occurs to me that we could just ask Pendragon to get the key and be done with this."
"No, don't stop!" pleads Aria. "I swear I'm almost — I mean, the key is almost coming!" So, we wait. The shaking continues. On and on. And on. Flopping, panting, jiggling, and all. Then Aria suddenly cries, "Tsuda, you're amazing!" Much to her disappointment, Takatoshi rolls his eyes and stops cold.
"Pendragon, there's a key in Shichijou's left breast pocket. May I ask you, in the name of all that is holy, to get it for us, please?"
"That's what this was about?" I procure the key with no fanfare. We ignore Aria's extravagant reaction to the split-second touch. Suddenly, he flips Aria around with ease, and then sets her down gently to stand her on her own two feet again. Wow. I've always known that Takatoshi was unusually strong, but holy shit. Color me impressed.
"So, what's the key for?" I ask.
"To unlock my handcuffs," says Aria. She turns around to show me, and I free her after a beat of confusion.
"You walked into school wearing handcuffs?"
"No! Not this time."
"This time?" we ask.
"I came in here with Tsuda before I put them on! I wanted to show him this new magic trick I read about. I was going to escape without using a key. Although, you're evidently supposed to use special handcuffs to do these kinds of escape tricks. Not a pair from an S&M set. I couldn't get out."
"Not without the key," Takatoshi says.
"Luckily, I had the key on me. So, I asked Tsuda to get it so he could free me."
I nod. Probably with a bit too much energy. "That made sense to me, apparently. And then this was when the shaking took place?"
"Yes," they say.
"Why?"
"Well, Shichijou told me the key was in her breast pocket, as you know."
"And I told Tsuda to reach in and grab it for me! But he wouldn't do it."
"I did the shaking thing to try to get the key out that way instead. You know, so I wouldn't have to, like, disgrace her." He then gives himself a look that seems to say that it all sounded better in his head.
"I already told you I was okay with you reaching in there, since it was just you, Tsuda. I trust my vice president not to fondle my boobs without my permission." She then tilts her head while looking straight at him, her leer barely perceptible. There's an implication in her eyes that does not need any words. Jeez, man. If this was just some scheme to feel his fingers on her ta-tas, then it looks like Aria's really stepping up her game this year.
Takatoshi doesn't seem to have caught on. With a face as calm as ever, he innocently asks, "What made you even want to practice this magic trick all of the sudden?"
"Yeah," I say, playing along for Aria's sake. I mean, I still owe her for that Futaba melon sherbet. Among a million other things. "To be honest, I never really figured you for being into magic tricks, Aria."
"No, I've always thought they were fun. If someone does them, I'll love to watch. Although, it wasn't until recently that I wanted to try my hand at performing them, myself. In fact, I wanted to start practicing this escape trick now because I was planning to perform it during Ousai's culture festival!"
"Oh, right on. You ever get it down, I'll be right there cheering for you."
"Thank you, Artoria!"
Takatoshi shakes his head. He walks off from Aria and me to start erasing yesterday's council agenda from the whiteboard, grumbling, "Our culture festival isn't even for another seven months."
"I know," Aria whispers slyly to me, and only me. I can't help but return her smile before she heads for her seat with a swagger in her steps.
Dude. It's official. Aria Shichijou is on the warpath. Shino's going to have to ramp it up herself if she doesn't want to fall behind this year. Wait, you know what? If Aria's growing this ballsy, I have a feeling Shino will, too. Guess that talk they had after the whole 'proposal prank' stretched the boundaries of Bro Code just a little bit further.
As if right on cue, the door slams open. It's Shino, of course. "There you are, Tsuda! I've been looking all over for you, you know."
"We're twenty minutes into our council period, Prez. There's really only, like, two places I could be at this point."
"Inaccurate! I checked every stall in all the boys restrooms. You weren't masturbating in any of them, and there were far more than two!"
"You what?" demand Takatoshi and me.
"It was for a good reason! Besides, I only ended up scaring one boy. Maybe three."
Takatoshi and I trade a scowl and groan. The Double-Standards Rule is unbreakable, so we're forced to let this slide. "So, what's got you so fired up this morning, Prez?" he asks.
Shino takes a steadying breath. With determination, she marches right up to Takatoshi and holds out a very femininely wrapped lunch bag. "I cooked this for you, Tsuda," she says. "It's tonkatsu and fried halibut over rice. There's a couple of sauces I made by hand, too. I hope you like it."
"Oh! Thanks, Prez." Takatoshi accepts the offer gratefully. At that, the nervous quivering afflicting Shino disappears. "But you didn't have to go through all this trouble —"
"No, I totally just felt like doing this for you! As thanks for being such a remarkable vice president."
"Wow, Prez," he says bashfully, grinning. "I don't know what to say. You're too kind."
Shino bites her lip happily as she watches him lay the lunch bag at his place on the desk. However, Takatoshi already has his own lunchbox sitting there, and this causes Shino to gasp.
"I'm so sorry, Tsuda! I didn't even realize that I'd be putting you on the spot like that! You could always take my lunch home to eat some other time. I won't be offended or anything. I promise!"
"No, this is perfect, actually! Kotomi forgot her lunch today, and we couldn't make sure she brought it since we left an hour earlier than she did again. Pendragon and I were going to half our lunches with her, but now with your gift here, we'll all be nice and full. Thanks again, Prez. You're the best."
Shino squeals with a completely straight face. She then manages to choke out, "You're very welcome, Tsuda." Afterwards, she fights through her own fears to maintain eye contact with him for a bit longer than she'd normally do in these types of fluffy situations. Well, this is certainly a big step for her! Attagirl, Shino.
Takatoshi returns to his spot on the whiteboard to start writing out the template for today's council agenda. Unbeknownst to him, Shino lingers at his backside for just a little while longer before finally scurrying into her seat.
"I knew you could do it," whispers Aria. "I'm so proud of you, Shino."
"Thanks, Aria. I almost blew it, though."
"But you didn't! That's all that matters."
"So, how did the magic trick go?" Booyah! Called it. "Did he do it?"
"No. He ended up shaking me upside-down, which I believe was Plan E."
"I take back what I said, Aria! Your contingency plans definitely covered all the angles. How close did he get you?"
She holds up her thumb and forefinger, indicating an inch. They both express a hushed frustration before Aria says, "I might have to stop by the restrooms myself pretty soon. I'm still worked up, to be honest."
"Couldn't blame you. Blue balls are the worst." Shino then tilts her head, staring up at the ceiling. "Wait, what's the female equivalent of that, anyway?"
"A violet vulva." Didn't even skip a beat there, Aria. Damn.
"Yo," says Suzu. She walks in with a very anxious-looking Mutsumi Mitsuba next to her, who's clad in her Judo Club uniform to no one's surprise. "Sorry I took so long."
Mutsumi slumps. "It was totally my fault, you guys. I was the reason she got held up. Please don't be mad at me." She's instinctively showered with sympathy from every one of us. This girl's too adorable for her own good, I swear.
"Don't worry about it, Mutsumi," says Suzu. "Anyways, fellow members of the student council, our Judo chief here has informed me that she would like to, with urgency, make an official request."
"I see!" Shino sets her elbows on the table and crosses her fingers. "Proceed then, Mitsuba. We'll give you the floor immediately."
Mutsumi marches forward to stand parallel to our desk and then snaps into a low bow. At the top of her lungs, she hollers, "Thank you, President Amakusa!"
"Indoor voice," says Suzu.
"Sorry! Sorry. Um, the Judo Club needs your guys' help. We really need to ask you to not disband our club." She bows again. "Please!"
The strange request bewilders us. We wait for Takatoshi and Suzu to take their seats before Shino continues. "Mitsuba, what reason would there be for us to disband your club?"
"Graduation ended up taking away most of our members! I thought we'd be good to keep our club status because we started the new year with the minimum five, but then one of our girls came in this morning and quit the club! She had no choice because her parents made her. That means we're down to only four members, including me!"
Aria gasps. "That is a very serious issue! But wasn't there a fairly recent amendment to that requirement, Shino? One that might be beneficial to our friend, Mitsuba, here?"
"There was, indeed, Aria, and it just might be applicable to this case. Article Four, Section Twelve in the Ousai Clubs Charter contains an amendment set three years ago for a very similar type of chance occurrence."
Takatoshi's eyes light up. "The precedent that was established for the continuation of the Chorus Club! The Leeway Clause!"
"Yes, Vice President. That's exactly it." Shino smiles proudly at Takatoshi for his studious knowledge, and I find myself doing the same. The Clubs Charter alone is 41 pages long, for God's sake. And it's written in 8-point font.
"Does this help the Judo Club?" Mutsumi asks, hope rekindled.
"The Leeway Clause allows for established clubs carrying over from the previous year to temporarily keep their official status if they're below the minimum membership requirement at the beginning of the following year. Yet, since you dropped below the minimum on the fourth day into the new school year, the council needs to hold a vote. Aria, if you'll please prepare to record this decision?"
"Ready, Shino."
"All in favor of letting the Leeway Clause apply to Mutsumi Mitsuba's case?"
"Aye!"
"Oh, thank goodness!" Mutsumi fans herself. "I was so worried."
"However . . ." The mood in the room grows ominous as Shino leans forward. She's in full-on bureaucrat mode now. "The effect of that clause only stretches to two calendar weeks after the beginning of a new school year. Today is Thursday. That means that, to keep Judo from losing its status as an official club which qualifies for funding, you have less than ten calendar days left to enlist at least one more member." Bureaucrat-Mode Shino abruptly disappears as she leans back into her seat. "Which is totally not impossible. You've got plenty of time, Mitsuba."
She's counting on her fingers now, mouthing slowly. Afterwards, Mutsumi asks, "Um, Prez? Wouldn't it be eleven days?"
"Ten, Mitsuba. That Monday you're thinking about is the deadline."
"Right, sorry. Then on behalf of the Judo Club, we very, very much thank the student council!" Her gaze then locks on Takatoshi, of course, and they share a smile.
"The student council is always happy to help, Mitsuba," says Shino. "That being said, there is one minor concern about your club membership which we'll need to address now. I'm afraid that we cannot ignore it." Mutsumi tenses at this, and the rest of us do, as well. Shino pulls out one of her many notebooks and flips through a few pages before finding what she's looking for. "According to the annual report summary which you submitted to us at the end of the last school year, your club would have had exactly seven members after graduation. Conversely, you mentioned earlier that you began the school year with five. Did you not?"
"Yes, Prez. I did."
"Did you lie to us, Mitsuba?"
She gasps. "Of course not, Prez! I'd never tell a lie. Honest!"
"Is that so?"
"Cross my heart!" She even makes the gesture.
"Then what happened, Mitsuba? What caused this inconsistency in your report?"
"Um . . . I might have, kind of, not been keeping track of how many seniors we actually had on our roster. Not correctly, at least. My notes might've been just a teensy bit off." We all chuckle at that. That's totally such a Mutsumi thing to do.
"Maintaining accurate records is essential here in Ousai, Mitsuba," says Takatoshi.
"That's right," adds Aria. "Please remember that you must report any discrepancies you discover as soon as possible. Even if you're afraid that it might get yourself, or someone else, in trouble."
Suzu nods. "It's your duty to do so as a student of Ousai Private Academy."
"I'm sorry, guys," says Mutsumi. "By the time I realized my records were wrong last Monday, I didn't say anything at the time because I figured that, you know, we still had five members. It was all good, anyways, right?"
Shino frowns. "So, you wouldn't tell a lie, but keeping secrets is A-okay?"
"Uh . . ."
"If you believe in karma, Mitsuba, you might want to take your sudden loss of a Judo member this morning as punishment for keeping such a bad secret."
"Okay, Prez. I promise not to lie or keep secrets from you anymore."
"Good girl. I mean —" Shino clears her throat. "You go. Girl."
"And you were doing so well," says Takatoshi.
Suzu smirks at that before turning back to Mutsumi. "So, how did the recruiting go during the school's opening?"
"It was awesome, Suzu! We had over fifty people come to our booth! We even ended up passing out nine registration forms!" Then she gets all sheepish. "The only problem is, we haven't heard back from any of them yet, and it's way too rude if I just walk up and ask them about it."
"That's understandable, Mitsuba," says Aria. "Do you have any current plans for how to address your membership issue?"
"I do, actually! Judo's holding an exhibition at the dojo during lunch today. We're hoping that it's going to get a bunch of people to want to sign up!"
"Ah, I remember seeing the flyers you've put around," says Takatoshi. "This would be a good time to do it, since our whole first school week has extended lunch hours."
"Exactly!" She starts kicking and punching into the air. "We're going to show off our skills to work up our appetites, and then still have plenty of time to treat ourselves to a well-earned feast right after!" She then freezes, gasping. "Um, that reminds me. There's maybe another request I'd like to make of the student council. If that's okay?"
Shino looks to us for our opinion, and we all agree. "Sure Mitsuba," says Shino. "What's up?"
"Since Judo is down to only four members at the moment, could I ask some of you guys to act as substitutes so we can have more matches?" Interesting.
"I'd be happy to help, Mitsuba," Shino says immediately. "It'll be just like last time."
"Last time?" I ask.
"Oh, that's right! You weren't here yet, Artoria." Mutsumi dashes up to wrap her arm around Shino. "Last year, we had this huge match against Teiketsu High. One of our team members got injured during warmups, and the Prez here filled in for us. She was so awesome! It was because of her that Ousai took home the gold!"
Shino blushes at me, tittering. "Mitsuba's getting a bit too excited. There weren't any medals involved. It was just a five-man friendly. Besides, the other four members on our team contributed just as much as I did, including Mitsuba here."
"You're just being modest, Prez! I'm so, totally honored to be having you in our exhibition today!"
"Thank you, Mitsuba. Now, that brings us up to five. We'll need another volunteer from the council to even it out." Takatoshi, Aria, and Suzu all pass. Shino looks to me and asks, "How about it, Pendragon?"
"Oh, I'm in. Although, I've never done judo before."
"It's okay, Artoria," says Mutsumi. "We're going to pair you and the Prez with a club member. They'll handle anything you can throw at them, and they'll play along with whatever style makes you most comfortable. Besides, it's not meant to be a full-blown competition, anyways."
"Right," says Shino. "More than anything, the intent for this exhibition is to entice students to sign up for Mitsuba's club."
"We'll need to put on a good show, so be sure to bring your A-Game, Artoria!" I match the enthusiastic fist she sticks out.
"I won't let you down, Chief."
"Awesome! Thanks, Artoria. Oh, before I forget again! I kind of had my eye on somebody in the school to recruit. She's one of the new kids. I asked her to join up a couple times, but she keeps saying no. Is there anything you can do to make her join Judo, Prez?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Mitsuba, but that's out of the question. We cannot force a student to join a club against their will. If you want this girl to join, then you'll have to either convince her, or attract her into signing up of her own volition through this exhibition today."
"I'm not sure if she wants to go, though. She's not like the other freshmen. She acts kind of distant, and she wears her clothes all loose like she doesn't care about how she looks."
"I think we know this girl you're talking about, Mitsuba," says Aria. "Tsuda's sister, Kotomi, introduced us to this girl last Monday as her newest friend. Her name is Kaoru Toki."
"That sexy little rebel who just refuses to tidy up her uniform," says Shino, disappointed. "Mitsuba, if I may ask, why are you so interested in recruiting Toki? We've confirmed multiple times already that she's no troublemaker, but she's still a bit difficult when it comes to respecting any authority figures who aren't teachers. You fall under that category as a club chief."
"But Judo could really use someone like her! I can't explain it, but I can just tell that she's really tough and strong."
Suzu sighs. "That's not generally a good reason for those kinds of decisions, Mutsumi. However, I'll admit that if we can convince Toki to join the Judo Club, the teamwork and training regimen might help to improve her attitude."
"That's a good point, Hagimura," says Shino. "The best way to convince her to join Judo at this point is to somehow ensure that she attends the exhibition today, which begs the question. How would we get Toki to do so? Anybody have any ideas?"
"Wait, you said that Toki is friends with Kotomi, right?" Mutsumi clasps her hands at Takatoshi, begging. "Maybe you could help me out here, Takatoshi? Pretty please?"
He smiles. "I'll text Kotomi. No promises, though. By the way, everybody, it's almost lunchtime. We should probably start heading to the dojo now. Pendragon, you still down?"
"You know it. Let's mosey."
We've got plenty of time, so our group keeps to a leisurely pace. The others chat away about Mutsumi's club experiences in the last few days. I, on the other hand, can't help myself from reviewing as many of our school's rules and regulations in my head as possible. I think I've got the ones relevant to my field of expertise on the council down to a T, but there's massive gaps in everything else. Takatoshi's knowledge of such an obscure amendment as the Leeway Clause impressed me back there, but it also highlighted my own deficiency of Ousai law as a whole.
"Peen-y for your thoughts?" I flinch, looking up to see Aria's now right next to me.
"I thought the term was penny."
She shrugs. "Well, it got your attention, didn't it?"
"Crap. You got me there."
"Couldn't blame you. I don't even live with Tsuda, and that kind of stuff is already always on my mind. I can't imagine how he must affect you!"
"It's not like that, Aria."
"I know. Just teasing you." We drift into a comfortable silence as we walk, loosely listening to Mutsumi leading the conversation at the front of our group like the animated chatterbox that she is. Aria then sighs at me, asking, "So, what's wrong, Artoria? I can tell that something serious is on your mind. Anything bothering you?"
"Was it really that obvious?" It's only now that I notice that my musings had caused me to fall behind the group during our walk to the dojo. "I see. Well, it's just that I realized that I didn't contribute one thing in that entire meeting. You know. During Mutsumi's appeal."
"You said aye."
"Oh, thanks!" I say, laughing. "I feel much better now."
Aria smiles, squeezing my shoulder gently. "But seriously, why would that bother you?"
"It just got me thinking that I really don't know as much about Ousai law as I should."
"You're our logistics officer, Artoria. Nobody can expect you to have the entirety of Ousai law memorized by heart. You're awesome with inter-club coordination and resource distribution, and you've already demonstrated numerous times that you know all the pertaining rules and regulations."
"I suppose. Thanks, Aria. Though, sometimes, it just feels like I'm falling short as a member of the council overall."
"You're not. Look, while I don't want to underemphasize any of our roles, realistically speaking, the expectations are different for each of us. Tsuda's set to be the student council president next year, so his fluency of Ousai law is a given."
"But then there's Suzu. She's only supposed to be our accounting officer, and yet she knows everything."
"No surprise there. You know she's got a photographic memory."
"Yeah, but not everybody else knows that."
"Ah, okay! Now it's starting to make more sense. You think she and probably Tsuda make you look bad during inter-club encounters."
"I'm not sure if that's exactly how I feel about it."
"For as long as I've known you, Artoria, you've always had a bit of a competitive streak. It's not a bad thing, necessarily, but don't let it drive you. Drive it instead."
A wistful smile crosses my lips. "You're starting to sound like somebody I knew a very, very long time ago."
"See? If you've been told that for much of your life, then take it to heart! In any case, Artoria, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Both Suzu and Tsuda have over eight months more experience on the council than you do. They were in your shoes once. Look where they are now. You'll reach their level in due time."
"Maybe you're right. I'm probably just getting a little ahead of my skis here."
"You are! You're going to eat a mouthful of yellow snow if you don't back it up a bit."
I chuckle. "In the meantime, I'm going to at least try to participate more during appeals, and hearings, and all that."
"Admirable, Artoria! In fact, if you're up for it, you'll have an opportunity to do so very soon. Remember, our cross-council meetup at Homurahara is next week."
"Hey, that's right. Okay. I'll do my best!"
"That's the spirit!"
"Appreciate the pep talk, Aria. I owe you one. Hundred."
"Don't you dare even think that! You don't owe me a thing, Artoria." A twinkle then appears in her eye. "Then again, I wouldn't say no if you happen to sneak me a pic of Tsuda's morning wood."
"Aria!"
"Kotomi's forearm is pretty big for a girl her size!"
I give her a sympathetic pat on the back. The upper back, specifically, just in case a certain Disciplinary Committee chief is watching. "Sorry, Aria. That's not happening."
She then hums in thought. "At least tell me this, Artoria, but only if you're comfortable with it."
"Lay it on me."
"Is it true?"
I smirk at that, looking off to the side. I didn't answer Aria the first time she asked me something like this, but that was back when I was still trying to figure out how much I could trust her. It takes me a moment further to deliberate the arguable pros and lack of cons before admitting, "Dude, it's humongous."
Aria moans playfully, bouncing at the heels as she gives an immodest stare at Takatoshi. "That's all I needed to know, Artoria. Don't worry. I won't press you for how that factoid came to your attention."
"We never did anything, in case you were wondering. I meant what I said during Hata's interview. He's like a brother to me. I've never met anyone quite like him before."
"That's a sentiment shared by us all, Artoria. Not the brother part, but then again, that doesn't seem to stop Uomi, or Kotomi, for that matter." That gets a chuckle out of me.
"I have stumbled across Kotomi's little porno stash before. Pretty sure her occasional passes at Takatoshi are motivated solely by hormones and erotic manga."
"And Uomi?"
"Oh, that girl's got a brother fetish. No doubt about it."
Aria laughs. "I remember figuring that out for myself on the day she first announced to us that the Uomis and Tsudas became related."
"I'll bet. Hey, did you know she calls Takatoshi's mom, mother-in-law?"
"No way!"
"I'm totally serious. I mean, she says it in a jokey way, but . . ."
"Reading between the lines?"
"Exactly."
We're just about at the dojo now. The sounds of a packed building grow louder and louder. Aria ushers me along to catch up with the others. Before we get within their earshot, though, she leans in to whisper, "By the way, Artoria, is the Girl Talk Rule in effect?"
"Full effect. I won't breathe a word about any of this to Takatoshi. I promise." We trade a nod to lock it before entering through the open doors.
The smell of sweat and corn chips hits us hard as soon as we step into the dojo. It's a totally anticipated aroma, to be sure, but I still haven't gotten quite used to it since I'm so rarely in this building. On the bright side, there's a huge turnout. Throngs of students line every wall, chatting away excitedly. They seem to mostly be freshmen, but that's sort of the idea to begin with. Takatoshi, Aria, and Suzu move to join Kotomi as spectators. Beside Kotomi is Mutsumi's hoped-for target, Kaoru Toki. She's here, and all, but it looks like it's not of her own accord. Her whole attitude advertises a stubborn disinterest for the upcoming exhibition. Let's try to change that.
While Mutsumi fires up the crowd, Shino and I are quickly escorted by Chiri to the locker room where we change into some spare uniforms in short order. When we come back out, I'm announced as the first match with the only Judo Club member of my size, an eternally effervescent sophomore named Nanako Umibe. The dojo roars, which honestly gets my adrenaline pumping, as Nanako and I step onto the mat on opposite ends. Nanako gets a last-minute pep talk from Mutsumi, whereas I'm unexpectedly approached by Suzu's best friend, and the chief of our Robot Research Club, Nene Todoroki. I haven't really talked to her much, but like Nanako, Nene is the very definition of bubbly.
"Artoria! I just wanted to wish you luck."
"Appreciate it, Nene."
"Have you ever done this before?"
"Judo? Nope. This is all new to me, to be honest."
She beams. "Then this is the perfect opportunity for me to help you out!"
"You want to give me judo tips? All right, then. I'm all ears."
Nene pulls out what looks like a blue popsicle with a happy face artfully painted near the tip. Its expression matches her own. "You could gain the element of surprise if you fight Nanako while using this!" It then starts vibrating. Mother of God, it's a sex toy.
"What does this have to do with the element of surprise, exactly?"
"Well, imagine how confused your opponent will be when your angry face suddenly turns into your orgasm face in the middle of a flying kick!"
"That . . . won't be feasible, Nene."
"Oh. Is it because you forgot to bring your own vibrator? Don't worry! I was going to lend you this one, anyway!"
"I refuse!"
Nene begins to insist, but I'm luckily saved by Mister Daimon, who's acting as the referee. From there, I just sort of follow Nanako Umibe's lead. We bow to each other first, then the match officially begins. Like we discussed beforehand, the matches are more for show than for contest. I don't know the first thing about judo, but with a club veteran to play off of, I at least get to safely flaunt some admittedly over-the-top moves to the school which will hopefully reinvigorate my reputation as one of the strongest girls on campus. In return, I let Nanako get a bunch of good moves in to demonstrate more proper judo technique.
Our one-on-one ends in my win. And that was without the use of prana, thank you very much. Nanako remains as giggly as ever, and after I help her up, she pulls me into a genuine hug, the sweetheart. I join my friends in the audience. Once there, the excited praises, and pats on the back, that I get from every direction sort of make me feel like a rockstar. One kid even calls me a freakin' Super Saiyan. No wonder Mutsumi loves doing this. It's a total rush!
Overall, the matches are short and sequential to keep the audience enthralled, and to save precious lunchtime. Mutsumi bests the other club vet in what's probably the most inspiring and accurate judo fight, but the real crowd-pleaser turns out to be Chiri versus Shino. It's the Ousai student council president pinch-hitting for the Judo Club, after all.
The two end up in what's basically a prolonged, yet spectacular, wrestling match. However, there's some unnecessarily erotic vibes going on thanks to Shino, but judging by the bewitched stares of half the girls in attendance, Shino's depravity may have just netted the Judo Club a ton of recruits. Now, I've never read the Kama Sutra, nor is it on my to-do list, but I can only assume that Shino's going through the damn thing in chronological order. At one point, Chiri manages to break free from Shino's doggystyle-like grasp to flip her onto the mat, but Shino commandeers the momentum immediately to force Chiri into a position that I can only describe as an inverted reverse-cowgirl chokehold. Chiri taps out. The two commend each other, and Shino returns to us to receive the accolades of both us and any giddy freshman within arm's reach.
Suddenly, Mutsumi runs to the middle of the floor, catching everyone's attention. With a dramatic point at Toki, she says, "Hey, you! New kid!" The dojo goes silent once Toki gets singled out. "You decided to attend the exhibition, after all, huh? I knew you couldn't resist."
Toki scoffs. "Don't fool yourself. The only reason I'm here is because this one dragged me along."
"That's me, everyone!" shrieks Kotomi, hopping up and down. She only stops when I hold her by the shoulders. Read the room, girl.
"I already told you that I wasn't interested in joining your stupid club," says Toki. Gasps all around.
Mutsumi crosses her arms. "Well, what if I challenge you to a one-on-one for it? Right here, right now, right in front of everybody?"
Toki remains apathetic, but her glances around the room show Mutsumi's ploy to be a good call. Shrugging, she says, "I get the feeling you'll never drop this, anyways, unless I agree to at least one match. Fine, then. I'll fight you for it. Now, what are your terms, exactly?"
"If I win, you join the Judo Club."
"And if I win?"
Mutsumi frowns and takes a deep breath. "If you win, then I'll surrender my position as chief of the Judo Club to you." Gasps all around, part deux.
"Are you serious? There's no way I'm doing this with those terms. I'm going to lose either way."
"But you already said you'd fight me, didn't you? Are you seriously going to back down now?" Mutsumi then leans over slowly, arms still crossed. From there, she puts on a look of goading, which is honestly something I thought I'd never see from her. Then she says those magic words: "What are you . . . chicken?"
The room's collective butthole puckers up amidst a gasp to end all gasps. This is probably the closest Mutsumi Mitsuba can get to dropping the F-Bomb, and even the freshmen know it. Toki, herself, is so taken aback, she finally has an expression on her face that isn't related to apathy. Wide-eyed and mouth agape; just as shocked to the core as the rest of us.
"You've made a terrible mistake," she says sternly. "I accept your challenge, then. If only to make you pay for that."
"Awesome! We've got some spare uniforms in the —"
"No." The blazer and collar ribbon come off. Both are handed to Kotomi when she runs up to take them before returning to us. Toki's steely gaze is locked and loaded. "I don't need a uniform," she growls. "This will be over quickly." She adopts a fists-up stance, bouncing on her toes to get into her groove. This girl's a seasoned street-fighter if I ever saw one.
Mutsumi gets downright rowdy at the sight. She locks into her more formal-looking stance with a war cry monstrous enough to get every mouth in the room grinning with blood-pumping anticipation. "We'll just see about that, new kid," she says.
The fight doesn't start off slowly. There's not one second wasted in their probing of each other's defenses. Something promptly takes hold of these two girls and sends them into a gymnastic fervor. The ways in which Mutsumi carries herself are as close to the epitome of human physicality as I've seen from any non-magic user in this era. She's a dizzying combination of speed, dexterity, and raw strength. Toki's not far behind in any regard, though what she lacks is more than made up for in ferocity and proficiency. She's a wizard of the unconventional, and her leverage-control during grapples surprises even Mutsumi. The fight itself is so enthralling that even Hata forgoes half the opportunities of Toki's upskirt shots to instead focus on capturing dramatic photos for actual newsworthy content. All in all, it's a thrill ride that sends the whole dojo, including me, into raucous fits of ovation and bellows whenever a blow is deflected, or a throw narrowly avoided. Then with a roar, Mutsumi performs an enormous suplex that finally lands Toki's full back on the mat. Mister Daimon dashes up, declaring the match over. Mutsumi is showered with acclaim by dozens of Ousai students, and she deserves every bit of it.
After relishing her victory for a few seconds longer, Mutsumi turns to Toki, who's still on the floor in disbelief. The crowd quickly hushes to watch what might unfold. Mutsumi's juvenile charm then returns in all of its glory. With full amicability, she says, "That was one heck of a fight, Toki. I don't think I've felt that pumped in ages! So, what do you say?" Mutsumi holds out her hand, offering to help her up. Toki scoffs at this, though smiles right afterward.
"It's been a while since I felt this fired up, myself," she says. Their hands meet, Toki lingering to add, "You know what? Maybe I will join your stupid club, after all."
Kotomi jumps to her feet. "Now rip her freakin' arm off and shove it up her ass!"
"This isn't Mortal Kombat!" shouts every Grumbler in the dojo. Oh, thank Christ. Looks like we're going to have a lot of allies this year.
Author's Note: Credit where credit is due. Aria's magic trick with the handcuffs was inspired by the "Bondage Princess" segment of SYD #393.
