Make way for chapter 3!
...
And that's all I got!
The brothers were then shown coming out of their room, passing Chef who was now dressed in a fancy beige Victorian lace dress with big ruffle sleeves and an incredibly long train dragging behind her as she slowly made her way up the stairs to her tower, all while keeping a close on the young trolls.
Harmony Trollscket – Every morning, Chef would order BroZone to do a great number of terrible chores. After which she would stalk up to her mysterious tower room.
A list of chores, filled from top to bottom of the page was shown, detailing all the tasks she would give the brothers such as, fixing the porch, dusting all her self-portraits, cleaning the staircase, reupholstering the sofa in the living room, dusting and polishing all the wooden furniture in the house, doing the laundry followed by ironing the clothes and replacing any missing buttons, cleaning the mirrors on her make-up vanity, washing the porch steps, trimming the trees in front of the house… and so on. Soon enough all the boys were shown in the kitchen, John and Bruce were wearing rubber gloves, scrapping all the excess grime and dirt from all the filthy dishes cluttering the counters, both with disgusted grimaces on their faces. Clay and Floyd were vigorously washing the dishes, the running water in the sink hot enough to create an onslaught of steam.
Clay – You'd think for a chef, she'd be better at keeping her own kitchen in good condition at the very least.
Finally, Branch was shown drying the finally clean dishes with a towel. After having finally finished cleaning the seemingly endless pile of dishes, John opened a cupboard in an attempt to start putting them away, only to jump back in slight fright as the cabinet was filled with more dirty dishes as well as a rat. John let out an exasperated sigh realizing he and his brothers had even more work to do.
Harmony Trollscket – And as unfortunate as their situation seemed, it was only about to get worse.
The four oldest brothers were shown scrubbing the floor of the living room while Branch was shown sitting inside John's hair, all 5 of them covering their noses and mouths with rags to protect them from the smell as they cleaned. Suddenly, the front door opened, capturing their attention and they watched as Chef, who was now sporting a large, purple fur overcoat, entered the house with what appeared to be her own posse, consisting of a couple bergans along with two rageons who were clearly twins as they both had green hair and pearly-white skin while dressed in matching golden V-neck crop-tops with pointed shoulder pads. The only difference between the two being that one was a girl whose long hair was put up in a ponytail and she was also wearing a golden miniskirt along with a purple spiked-tiara, two purple chokers, purple bracelets on both wrists, and high-heeled platform boots that were all made of crystal while the other was a boy and had much shorter hair that was gelled into a long quiff, wearing golden short-shorts while also sporting a single indigo-blue choker, one indigo-blue bracelet on each wrist, and indigo-blue high-heeled platform boots that were also made of crystal; in addition, he also had a small bronze hoop-earring on his right ear. To the BroZone brothers' surprise, the last member of the group was another troll, this one being an adult with bluish-purple skin, long wavy red hair along with a sideburn mustache and chest hair shaped into a heart, wearing only black leather pants, and carrying a golden soprano saxophone with silver parts.
Chef – …tub full of ice in Cloud Temple, and I realized that these monks had stolen my kidney.
Acting Troupe Bergans – No!
The bergans in the troupe began cackling at Chef's story while the two rageons and the troll just either rolled their eyes or looked indifferent.
Chef – Moral of the story, you can never trust clouds!
Chef, who had her back turned the entire time since coming inside, turned around and halted in her tracks once she saw the brothers on the floor, followed by the rest of her posse going silent as well, as they looked at the young trolls as though they were vermin.
Chef – Orphans, this is my acting troupe. Acting troupe, orphans.
Velvet – They don't look famous.
The female rageon sneered at the brothers as she walked further in, followed by her brother and the other bergans who all snickered from her remark.
Veneer – Good one, Sis.
Soon enough, Chef and the troll from her troupe walked up and stopped right before the brothers, peering down at them with devious smirks.
Chef – Why aren't you boys in the kitchen, preparing our dinner?
Floyd – Dinner?
Chef – It's the French word for the evening meal.
Clay pulls the chore list from his hair and looks through it confusedly, until Chef whispers to him.
Chef – On the back. Flip it.
Clay flips over the list and indeed, written on the back is a final 172nd chore detailing the brothers to prepare a delicious dinner for Chef and her troupe.
Chef – We'll take it in the dining room at 8 o'clock. And we'll expect absolute silence while we're rehearsing our play.
Spruce – Hold on! That is not enough time to prepare a full-course meal for 6 people!
Clay – It's already 7:30-
Chef, however, did not seem to pay any heed to the brothers' objections, simply raising her voice to emphasize her point.
Chef – 8 O'CLOCK!
With that, Chef and the troll in her troupe proceeded to head into the entertainment room after the rest of her little posse.
Soon the BroZone brothers were shown back in the kitchen, searching all the cabinets and drawers for food.
John Dory – Okay, we can do this. We just need a dish that can be prepared fast and also feed at least 5 people that are 3 times bigger than us…
Spruce – Great, we couldn't possibly have gotten a taller order. And that's assuming if we can even find anything to eat around here.
Spruce looked in a cabinet but only saw a dead spider and some worms, prompting his expression to turn to one of fearful disgust as he hastily shut the door. Clay was then shown opening a cupboard, but his eyes only widened at the sight of a squirming beetle flipped over on his back, resulting in him rapidly shutting the door closed as well. Even Branch was shown opening a small pantry, once again finding no food, but instead a Furrybat hanging upside-down inside it, which flapped its wings at the sight of the baby troll.
Clay – Seriously! What kind of chef doesn't have even a speck of food in her own kitchen?!
John Dory – There's gotta be something.
The boys continued to search through every cabinet and drawer they came across, until finally, John opened a drawer that was filled with tools along with hundreds of different pasta shells, much to his delight.
John Dory – Yes! Pasta is perfect!
John proceeded to take the entire drawer out.
Chef was suddenly shown with her troupe in the entertainment room, all of them sitting on the couch or other chairs while she stood in front of them all as she took off her coat.
Chef – Alright. Time to get to casting.
Troupe – Yeah!
Chef threw her coat onto the troll of her group, and while he looked miffed at having her coat thrown on top of him as it slid off, he still respectfully folded it over the chair he was sitting on. Chef then twirled around before seating herself in her own throne-like chair.
Chef – Now, then! Who shall play the most beautiful and esteemed bergan queen in all the world?
Chef repositioned herself in her seat, posing expectantly while the rest of the troupe just watched in awkward silence until the troll of the group spoke up.
Chaz – Would you do it, Madam?
Chef let out a sigh as though she were relenting to the "request."
Chef – Oh, all right.
Back with the BroZone brothers, John and Spruce were shown putting on cooking aprons while Clay and Floyd brought over a can of sauce and jars of various spices to make the sauce for the pasta.
Spruce – Pasta Puttanesca. One of Grandma's favorite foreign dishes now that I think about it.
Clay – What is "puttanesca", anyway?
The three oldest brothers turned to Floyd expectantly, who in turn looked a little nervous.
Floyd – Oh, uh… you know, Italian… for uh, "very few ingredients."
While John, Spruce, and Clay seemed satisfied with the answer, Floyd just glanced away awkwardly, not wanting to reveal what the Italian word really meant. John then took the can of sauce and handed it down to Branch, who was standing below him to his right.
John Dory – Bitty B?
Branch took the can from his eldest brother with both his little hands.
Branch – I got it.
Branch set the tin can of tomato sauce down before he reached into his hair and pulled out a can opener, one of the various tools he had on hand, before using it to cut open the lid.
Spruce – Okay, so we're gonna need a pot.
Clay – Yeah… no pot.
Spruce – And a strainer.
Floyd – No strainer.
While Spruce let out a tired sigh, Branch handed the now open can back to John.
John Dory – Thanks, B.
Seeing John with the open can of sauce, Spruce suddenly remembered something else that they would need.
Spruce – Oh, and a saucepan.
John, Clay, and Floyd all let out small groans at that, before John took another look around the kitchen as a contemplative expression formed on his face.
John Dory – Looks like we'll have to improvise.
Back with Chef and her acting troupe, the female bergan, who had been standing up again, sat back down in her throne-chair, this time straight up with her arms lying right on both armrests.
Chef – Moving on to some improv! This is a little piece I call… "Electric Chair."
Chef stared straight ahead and sat still, gripping her hands on the ends of the armrests to give off the illusion she was strapped to the chair. The troupe just watched her with intent yet bored expressions as they waited for something to happen. Finally, Chef turned her head slightly towards them and began talking in a terrible lower-class southern accent.
Chef – I think you might have to turn it up! Is anybody…
Suddenly Chef shook her body in her chair as though she were being electrocuted while screaming out the rest of her line.
Chef – OUT THERE?!
John Dory was then shown grabbing a loose, dusty window screen before Clay was shown shaking water out of it due to having just washed it.
Clay – Using a screen as a strainer. That's brilliant, John Dory.
John Dory – Like I say, there's always something.
Spruce – What about you, Branch? Anything around here we can use for a pot?
Branch was shown carrying a spittoon and setting it down on the ground for his brothers to see.
Branch – How about this?
John and Clay could only look at the spittoon in discomfort while Spruce and Floyd only stared at it in confusion.
Clay – Baby Branch…? That's… not a pot.
Branch also glanced at the spittoon in confusion.
Clay – It's a spittoon.
Floyd – Spittoon? You mean like…?
John met Floyd's questioning eyes and nodded, confirming exactly what Floyd was now apprehensively insinuating, prompting Clay to just squeeze his eyes shut in dread while Spruce began to look nauseous.
Spruce – We'll wash it twice.
Spruce then hurried away, putting his hand over his mouth as he looked like he was about to gag. John was soon shown pouring the cooked noodles from the, now thoroughly washed, spittoon onto the window screen resting over the sink, allowing the water to drain right through. With the noodles done, he turned around and placed the empty spittoon on the table before turning to Spruce, who was cooking the sauce.
John Dory – Spruce, how's it coming?
Spruce – It's good! It's really good.
John turned his head towards Clay, who was grabbing some clean dishes the brothers had earlier washed from the cabinets.
John Dory – Clay, time check?
Clay – 7 minutes!
Meanwhile, Chef's acting troupe had all fallen asleep in their seats, though Chef herself was continuing the improv session regardless.
Chef – Let's go back to prehistoric times, when dinosaurs ruled the world!
Chef trotted around the room, attempting to imitate a raptor and letting out wailing screeches before hovering over the sleeping troll in her group and chomped over his head, looking like she was eating him.
Having finished preparing the meal, the brothers moved as fast as possible to set the table; John and Spruce each placing down a plate of pasta in front of a chair while Clay and Floyd followed with the silverware. The dining table just happened to be right in front of the entrance to the entertainment room, and Chef and her troupe were shown with their backs turned from the brothers' direction as they were, supposedly, still working; though Chef could be heard mumbling a portrayal of an announcer.
Chef – BroZone orphans to the courtesy desk. BroZone orphans to the courtesy desk.
The 4 brothers finished setting the last of the plates and silverware down and grouped together at the end of the table. They all looked up at the clock, which showed it to be exactly 8:00pm; they were right on time! With that, the brothers all shared triumphant looks with one another before they looked back over towards Chef and her troupe, followed by John clearing his throat to get their attention. Having heard him, Chef turned around.
Chef – What do you want?
John Dory – Uh, dinner is served.
Chef stood up onto the couch as she and the troupe analyzed the contents on the table. John then gestured to the food.
John Dory – Puttanesca.
Floyd's eyes suddenly widened in shock, and he frantically tried whispering to John.
Floyd – No, no, John…! Don't…!
Chef however, suddenly looked a slight offended, as she gave John an incredulous stare.
Chef – What did you call me?
While the rest of the brothers just looked confused, Floyd placed his hand over his head in dread as he lowered and shook it, knowing exactly how Chef had interpreted what his brother said.
Spruce – It's pasta. Pasta puttanesca?
Chef however, still did not look amused.
Chef – Where's the roast beef?
Now all 4 of the brothers looked confused again.
Spruce – Roast beef?
Chef – Beef, yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.
The 4 brothers felt shivers of trepidation crawl down their bodies as they could clearly see Chef was not pleased with them. Regardless, John bravely spoke up.
John Dory – Hold on, you didn't tell us you wanted roast beef.
All the members of the troupe let out small gasps and oohs, as though John had just said something he shouldn't have. With that, Chef hopped down from her perch and slowly made her way around the table towards the brothers.
Chef – You know, there's a big world out there, filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.
Chef took a moment to pause as she glanced up, looking at seemingly nowhere as she revered herself while a subtle grin formed on her face. She then breathed in before looking back at the brothers.
Chef – But I don't care about them. I chose to open my heart… to you 4 darling boys. And your atrocious imp.
Chef finally closed the distance until she was right in front of the boys.
Chef – All I ask in return is that you do each and every thing that pops into my head while I enjoy the enormous fortune your grandmother left behind…
Chef grumbled out the last part of her sentence, confirming once and for all to the brothers what she was really after.
Clay – No.
Chef stared at Clay in irritation at his defiance.
Chef – Why, you little- AHH!
Chef screamed and flinched back from the sudden sharp pain in her leg, looking down to see that Branch had snuck up and bit her, hard. The baby troll then proceeded to glare up at her.
Branch – Back off my brothers!
Chef stared at Branch, appalled.
Chef – How dare you, you filthy rat!
Branch then blew a raspberry at Chef, prompting her to force a grin on her face while she brought her hands up, as her patience had clearly run thin.
Chef – It's time you boys learned a little respect.
Chef's grin turned into a snarl as she leaned down and forcefully picked up Branch, prompting him to start to cry.
Floyd – Branch!
Spruce – Put him down!
Chef then proceeded to backhand Spruce across his face with enough force to knock him to the ground, much to the brothers' complete shock and concern.
John and Clay – Spruce!
John and Clay instantly went to Spruce's side to check him over while Floyd looked back at Chef in horror.
Floyd – You monster!
Floyd then quickly grabbed a crying Branch from her arms and protectively held him close, which instantly began to calm him down. Clay and John meanwhile helped Spruce back up and kept close to him protectively as all three of them glared at Chef, who attempted to regain her composure as she glanced back at her troupe.
Chef – You all saw it! The boy slipped!
Clay stepped forward, his eyes still holding an intense glare, while John stayed by Spruce's side, keeping an arm around his shoulder.
Clay – You won't get a cent until John turns 18!
Chef met Clay's glare with her own challenging one.
Chef – Oh, really?
After a moment however, Chef glanced to the side quickly before looking back at Clay in confusion as she contemplated his words.
Chef – Says who?
Clay – The law! Look it up!
John then stepped forward, gesturing to all his brothers protectively.
John Dory – We're going to call King Peppy about this right now.
Chef took a moment before she and the rest of her troupe let out some oohs in amusement, as though they weren't taking the brothers' threat seriously.
Chef – Are you?
Next thing the brothers knew, Chef was harshly shoving them all into their room, glaring at them all as she stood in the doorway.
Chef – I'm very disappointed in you, boys.
Chef slammed the door shut and locked it before heading back downstairs to rejoin her troupe, who could all be heard laughing.
Chef – Now! Where were we?
John, Floyd, and Branch looked over worriedly at Spruce and Clay, who were both clenching their fists tightly and gazing at the ground with pained grimaces.
John Dory – Hey? You okay, Bro?
Spruce scoffed.
Spruce – No.
Spruce then began marching towards the window, gesturing for Clay to follow.
Spruce – Come on, Clay.
Clay followed after Spruce without question and began helping his big brother to rip off the wooden boards covering the window. Floyd put Branch down as he and John looked at their other 2 brothers in bafflement.
John Dory – Guys, what are you doing?
Spruce – We're going!
Floyd – Going where?
Spruce – Home!
John Dory – This is our home now.
Spruce and Clay turned around and looked at John with incredulous expressions.
Clay – Are you serious? This is not home. Home is where your grandma puts you to bed at night.
Spruce – Where she teaches you how to stand on a surfboard.
Clay – Or where she gets all choked up for your first concert. This is not home.
John and Floyd could only stare sadly at Spruce and Clay, unable to dispute anything they said; even Branch looked upset as he gazed at his distressed older brothers. The troupe from downstairs was heard laughing once again, prompting Clay to let out a frustrated grunt as he threw one of the wooden boards to the ground.
Clay – How could she do this to us?!
John Dory – Come on, Clay. We all knew she was evil.
Clay – Not her. Grandma.
John, Floyd, and Branch all looked shocked at Clay.
Floyd – Clay!
Clay – Come on, Floyd! You guys are all thinking it too! How could she?! She had no plan for us at all?!
Spruce grunted in agreement while Floyd spared a quick at John before looking back at Clay, desperately trying to believe otherwise.
Floyd – Well, maybe she did have a plan.
Spruce – Yeah, sure looks like it to me.
Spruce walked over to the bed and sat down, with Clay following again, both of them crossing their arms over their knees as they brooded. Floyd could only let out a sigh of defeat as John looked between the tree of them, taking in the unhappiness he could feel radiating from each of them. However, as Branch looked at all of his brothers, seeing how sad they all were, he walked up to Spruce and Clay and patted his hands on their knees in an attempt to comfort them, which indeed caused the two trolls to soften their grimaces. John Dory looked especially surprised, followed by a proud expression forming on his face as he watched how thoughtful and caring his baby brother was being, inspiring him to gesture to Floyd to go sit on the bed as well. John promptly followed and took a seat between Floyd and Spruce, making sure to interchange between looking at them and Clay with a comforting expression.
John Dory – Do you guys remember when Grandma went to the hinterlands? And we'd thought she'd abandoned us because she didn't even write? Then we found out she'd written a long letter, it'd just gotten lost in the mail. Do you remember how guilty we felt for thinking bad thoughts about her? This is just like that.
Floyd and Clay's expressions turned to ones of guilt as they recalled the memory John was talking about, indicating his point was getting across to them, but Spruce's expression just remained sorrowful as he turned his head to face his big brother and shook it.
Spruce – No it's not.
All the brothers looked at Spruce in slight surprise.
John Dory – Why?
Tears welled up in Spruce's eyes and his voice choked up as he spoke again.
Spruce – Because she's not in the hinterlands. She's not coming back.
The reality that the troll who raised the 5 brothers their entire lives was gone forever descended upon them all once more; tears began welling up in John's eyes as he continued to look at Spruce while putting a hand on his shoulder. Both Clay and Branch's eyes were watering once more as well, with Branch climbing up into Clay's lap to give him a hug, which he accepted with no hesitation. Floyd on the other hand, had tears freely spilling down his face, despite his best attempts to wipe his eyes dry. After a moment, Spruce gave John a more hopeful yet still vulnerable look.
Spruce – Do you think anything will ever feel like home again?
John looks around the room before a small grin formed on his face as an idea popped into his head, and he turns his head towards Branch before gesturing to the various items in the room. Branch, immediately understanding what his eldest brother was getting at, nods his head in response before getting up from Clay and headed towards where most of the clutter had been pushed to the side as he started rummaging through it. Immediately knowing their oldest and youngest brother were up to something ingenious, Spruce, Clay, and Floyd all began to smile as John stood up from the bed and put his hands on his hips as a focused look formed on his face, one that only truly appeared whenever he was out in the wilderness.
Harmony Trollscket – "Sanctuary…"
John and Spruce were soon shown pulling on two ropes, lifting up a tent made out of sheets in the middle of the room.
Harmony Trollscket – …is a word which here means "a small safe place in a troubling world."
Clay and Floyd were holding up the mattress from the bed and set it down inside the tent.
Harmony Trollscket – Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea.
Finally, Branch was shown, with small protective gloves on his hands, setting up a large piece of glass from the broken window at an angle before John placed the picture of the 5 of them and their grandma he had saved from their pod in front of it, magnifying Rosiepuff's image in particular, to make it seem as though she was there with them. Their little sanctuary finished, all 5 brothers proceeded to sit together inside it, telling stories, playing small little games with one another, and even harmonizing some comforting melodies together.
Harmony Trollscket – The BroZone brothers enjoyed their evening in the sanctuary they had built together. But in their hearts they knew that the troubling world lay just outside. A world which, I'm sad to say, can be described in two dismal words.
Sorry to end it there, but for those of you who have seen the movie, I think you all know what's going to be coming up next! ;)
When I was thinking of the characters to use for the acting troupe, Velvet and Veneer immediately came to mind. I also always planned on Chaz being one of the members as well, but the decision to make him the hook man came to be because that guy has the most cameos and active roles throughout the film, and I realized when writing that by using Chaz, I could fit in a bunch of small, funny references to the original Trolls universe, like what happened in this chapter, if you can find it. ;)
The last two members of the troupe are just two random bergans Chef uses as her posse, and no they are not Todd and Chad because they are still working as guards for King Gristle. I thought about using them, but it just didn't make sense to me cause I found no reason why they would be in her troupe in this AU since they would have had nothing to do with Chef after she was "let go." So she had to find two other grunts she could boss around and have bend over backwards for her. And along the way, she stumbled across two rageons that were greedy for stardom as well as a troll that was willing to play dirty to let himself be heard... exactly what the other half of the VFD was looking for. Thus, propositions were made, deals were struck, and a troupe of terrorists and arsonists hungry for power, fame, and wealth was formed.
I'm not sure exactly why Klaus said puttanesca was Italian for "very few ingredients," but I looked it up, and apparently it actually means "in the style of the whore," so now I understand why Olaf asked Violet "what did you call me?" when she said it, cause he was thinking she essentially called him a whore. In this AU, Floyd, being the language expert he is, obviously knows what the term really means as well, so I decided to expand the joke, where Floyd lies about the term's true meaning cause he doesn't want to say it out loud, and of course knows how Chef is going to take it when John says the term, hence why he tries to stop him.
