"Fuck, fuck, fucK, fuCK, fUCK, FUCK!" protests Crowley when they're already in the bookshop, emerging from Aziraphale's coat pocket and returning to his usual size.
Aziraphale's high-pitched and hysterical scream. Crowley pays him no mind, pacing around, worried.
"What are you... what?! You! How...?! You were here the whole... YOU!" he seems to be plastered against the door.
"You heard?" the demon protests.
"Of course, I heard... you heard? You weren't supposed to... hear any of that," Aziraphale whispers.
"I bloody curse that stupid imbecile and damn Gabriel from the bottom of my bloody heart!" he shouts to the ceiling, releasing his adrenaline and frustration against the mouldings because he would have wanted to do something earlier but...
And a part of Aziraphale. Not such a small part of him, is infinitely glad that he's here... it makes him feel warmer. And safer. Much less bad than he felt just a few minutes ago.
Crowley takes a deep breath and tries to calm down after a couple of breaths, then looks at him.
"You didn't have to hear them..." the angel begins.
"How could I not hear them?"
"Well, you didn't have to hear all those... horrible things. Nobody should have heard them. Ever," he whispers, starting to feel tremendously overwhelmed.
"Alcohol. We need alcohol," he takes a turn around and heads to get some. "Do you want chocolate?"
"Yes. Although... I'm not sure if you should be here..." he walks a bit, not getting too close, glancing sideways towards the street.
"I'm bloody freezing," he protests. "No, probably not, but I wasn't going to jump out of your pocket and traverse two kilometres of the city measuring just a palm."
"You're freezing. I'm sorry," he says with terribly guilty eyes. Thank goodness you didn't leave.
Crowley glances at him because... the blanket. He told him it was important. And he smiles a little, preparing hot chocolate with rum, or rather, warm rum with a certain aroma of chocolate.
Aziraphale closes the blinds one by one, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.
"Did you hear everything?"
"Yes, why?"
"Ugh," he blushes.
Crowley smirks at that protest and hands him one of the cups. Aziraphale hesitates before approaching, not daring to look him directly in the eyes, but he extends his hand for his cup.
"C-Crowley, I... "
The demon gives it to him and then dramatically flops onto the sofa.
"They said things that..." he watches him do it... and smiles a little without being able to help it, going to sit precariously in the chair.
Crowley looks at him, wrapping himself in a Scottish wool blanket lying around, and taking a sip of his rum.
"I can't believe..." he doesn't even know in what order of importance things that he can't believe should appear.
"Losing my religion," he mocks.
"Shut up! One day they'll really get tired. In fact, I see Gabriel very close to that moment," he looks at him from the corner of his eye and... this. Here. Like this. It's perfect. "Are you warmer now?"
"And what if they force you to do? Kill me?"
"Prevent me from seeing you again... aberrant, you heard them. Still, they have even thought about putting me with a spy-companion."
"That will be a bloody problem if they do."
"Everything is a... problem. Everything. And it will probably be worse when they notice that you've come here and that we talk or see each other," he moves a bit to settle him better on top of him, stretching a bit to leave his cup on the table.
He leans back dramatically and then covers himself completely with the blanket because he's a fool. Aziraphale sits back down and finds a crumpled blanket where Crowley should be.
"In fact, if... if Gabriel goes to the miracle log, I'm going to be in serious trouble."
"I insist that you're already in serious trouble," assures the blanket.
"I'm going to... make a report and include that miracle in... my defence against your attack. Let's see if it works," he hugs him a bit better now that he's covered with the blanket. Ahem. Come on, because with the blanket he doesn't know where he is.
"I must say that I got a bit scared when Gabriel arrived and I couldn't return."
"I must say that I've been in a continuous state of terror and panic since we left Madame Tracy's."
"And you didn't explode," the demon smiles slightly.
"Explo... oh! Wait, that... that matter has been tremendously strange," he suddenly recalls it and I think Aziraphale has been wearing soiled underpants all afternoon without realizing it.
"Strange?" he raises his eyebrows.
"Now that I think about it, there are parts of me that did explode."
"What?" Aziraphale moves back a bit to look at him properly.
"It was something like I've never felt before... it wasn't unpleasant, just... the world disappeared for a second in... some kind of explosion, yes."
Crowley blinks a bit because he didn't... feel anything different. (Maybe because IT WASN'T YOUR BODY)
In fact, very innocently, he looks himself up and down... and with all the horrible things happening at that moment, he never even realised he had... a viscous liquid in his underwear.
"No... No one complained about that before," Crowley tilts his head, trying to understand.
"Well... I felt something extremely intense."
"It's not like I stopped to ask," he adds.
"I can tell you it was anything but... unpleasant. Maybe it had to do with me being so... worried that you weren't even alive. Even though I had just heard you on the radio..."
"If I had another option, I wouldn't have done it."
"It was much less terrible than I expected. Although you crossed a line with that hip movement."
"Did I make you too nervous?" he smirks.
"No. You almost dislocated my femur."
"Poor poor you," eye roll.
"Also, you started talking and saying things... that I wouldn't say," ahem, like that I'm in love with you.
"What? I even said 'tickety boo' to someone!" he protests.
Aziraphale smiles because that was quite, quite funny.
"No one noticed you saying anything that didn't sound like you."
"What about me?" the angel chuckles a bit.
"You don't count. You knew it was me."
"I'm sure we've broken dozens of rules in the last few hours," he stretches again for his cup and sighs, smiling a bit.
"Well, that's my job and you were asked to do it somehow."
Aziraphale smiles at him a bit because he always manages to see things from another perspective.
"Honestly... while Gabriel was talking to me about how much I had to stop everything and do something about... you..."
"Yeah?" he looks at him.
"And when they specifically... accused me of having any feelings towards you," ahem, not love, "be too earthly... I... I think today... I'm a bit overwhelmed by what happened. Maybe I need more alcohol," he changes the subject, blushing a bit. "How do you feel?"
"Sure, alcohol is what you need. Me too."
"I'll serve you, wait..." he gets up, thinking that actually what he had thought with Gabriel was that if he seemed to be too human for kissing Crowley, he would come here and show him exactly what it really meant to be TOO human. Hugging him, kissing him, and... showing him his love, well... like a human would. It was a bad idea, to be honest. Although at this point, could they do anything worse than what they had already done? He had already kissed him in heaven in front of everyone almost.
Crowley moves again and readjusts the blanket because look, this is what he hates about stupid exorcisms.
"Maybe you should take a hot bath... wouldn't that help?"
"Maybe..."
"I can prepare one for you," the angel smiles bringing him a glass with more alcohol.
"Do you even have a bath?"
"Of course, I have a bath. I used to take bubble baths before."
The demon blinks a couple of times trying to imagine him doing that and smiles to himself.
"It sounds like one of... those things you would do, yes. I wonder how many books fell in there before you decided to stop doing it."
Imagination course, activity 01, difficulty: Low. Imagining Aziraphale taking a bubble bath as well.
"More than one," he squints, "believe me. It's not a good place to read."
He laughs because he hit the mark.
"But it's a good place to make demon soup."
"Tell Gabriel that you blessed it."
"And that the tub is made of iron."
"And that you got in with me."
Aziraphale blushes terribly at that and Crowley laughs. The angel doesn't look at him, nor does he respond to that, because today... today too many things have happened.
Come on, he's just teasing you.
No, it's just that... today he could actually get into the tub with you. I don't think he will, but he could, and that seems to be something you're not taking into account.
"Yeah, and Michael could show up with Uriel in the middle of the bath and die laughing forever... I think this is bringing happiness to heaven, indirectly."
"In the end, it will all be advantages..."
"EVERYONE will know... everything that happened today," he gestures for him to follow.
"And..." Crowley gets up with the blanket over his shoulders.
"And I feel less and less like going up there..." in fact, I think he has to empty the bath a bit because he has some books here that he had to move to put other new first editions there that... well. You know how it works.
"So heaven isn't so heavenly," he mocks.
He makes a face because no, and lately less.
"Well, I suppose for some angels it is... Gabriel seems very happy," he finally says, turning on the water for the tub.
"I think Gabriel is into sadism," Crowley quips, looking at a book as if he hadn't just said that.
"For heaven's sake, Crowley. I don't think Gabriel would even have a hint of... desire for anything like that."
"Not even for cruelty? That's almost worse."
"I don't know... for an Archangel, he doesn't seem interested at all in... even feeling a little bad for making another angel feel completely miserable. I don't think he even thinks he's capable of it."
"Maybe you should let him read that book... the one about the duke or the marquess or whatever."
"Do you really think it's a good idea for him to learn to take pleasure in that?"
"At least someone would get something out of it. Now not even that."
"Alright, alright... no. I'm not too happy with the idea of him being happy every time he makes me feel bad."
"I'm pretty sure he already is..." he starts undressing under the blanket.
"But come on, really, I think we've had enough Gabriel for today..." he puts his hand in the tub, confirming that the water is hot enough.
"And what do you want?"
More kisses, for example.
"Just to think for a couple of hours... that everything will be alright," he looks at him.
"I don't think anyone will come looking for you again for a couple of hours," he looks at him, wrapped in the blanket, and smiles.
"That's what I think," he hesitates a bit and blushes. "Well... I'll leave you to bathe and all..."
Crowley nods and Aziraphale smiles at him a bit.
"I'm glad that you're... alright and whole," he adds in a whisper before going to the door.
"Thank you."
The angel smiles a bit more, opening the door and leaving... and leaning against the other side, closing his eyes. Could he stay here and keep talking?
Honestly, if he doesn't, he'll fall asleep in zero point zero seconds in the bathtub.
"Crowley?"
"Mhm?"
"Are you still there?"
"No, I've gone to Alpha Centauri."
"I'm sorry, you probably want to sleep, but..."
"But what?"
"Do you want something else to drink?"
"Yes. And a rubber duck."
"I don't have a rubber duck. But... I can bring you the drink," he smiles a bit, sideways, moistening his lips.
"What kind of bath is this?!" he protests as if it were the worst news he could have given him.
"Because of the rubber duck? Oh, come on, don't complain."
"It's a bath of lies."
"Shut up... I'm going to open the door."
"Do you announce to all your inanimate objects what you're going to do? You're almost exaggerating a bit with that chivalry stuff."
"I'm warning you," he opens the door, but the demon doesn't even flinch, in the tub, eyes closed. Aziraphale moistens his lips. "Do you want... bubbles in the tub? Instead of a rubber duck," he doesn't look at him, it's clear he doesn't look at him, turning his head slightly.
"No."
"Alright... alright," he hands him the glass. "Crowley..."
"Mhm?"
"Can I sit here to... keep you company? Just... in case you need something," he shifts his weight from foot to foot. And he just doesn't want to leave.
"That's a bit odd."
"Of... of course," he laughs nervously. "I don't know what I was thinking. Uh... I'm going to go read."
"Unless you actually get into the tub, then it's not odd."
