But three hours later, and seven shots of Jaeger

Son of a…. god my head is killing me.

And so is my back, and my stomach, fucking everything sucks right now.

When I looked up, all I could see was my dresser looming over me like a disappointed mother.

The story told itself.

I can see the seven…seven?!

Seven empty bottles on the kitchen table, the open pizza box, and the stuff that Is normally on the top of my dresser strewn about the floor.

This idiot drank himself silly on drinks he called sissy and hit his head so hard on his dresser he passed out on the floor.

"Fuck…. Ow…. Fuck me…"

The sun glaring in through the windows wasn't helping my body register being conscience again.

In fact it was making everything worse.

No matter how much my head hurt, I just wanted to close the blinds more than anything.

I just want to wince and moan in agony in the darkness.

I scraped myself off the floor, opening dresser drawers along the way to help myself climb to a standing position.

From there, I had to really test how much balance I had.

I let go of the dresser for a moment, and that's all it took to make my knees buckle.

I gripped the dresser again, just like if I almost fell off a cliff.

"I got this…. I got this…."

I shuffled my feet on the floor, trying to dig into the carpet as much as I could.

Once I got some traction, I tensed my knees and thighs.

Them suckers were good and tight.

One deep breath later, I let go of the dresser.

No shaking, wobbling, my legs were as solid as a tree.

With one super unconfident shuffle, I started gliding towards the window.

Every shuffle got easier and easier, and they eventually became actual steps.

I drank so much last night, I had to learn how to walk again.

Sooner than later, I got to the windows and pulled the curtain shut.

As soon as God himself wasn't flashing my apartment, I got The rest of my vision back immediately.

"God, this place is a mess."

The whole placed looked like the end of an American Pie movie.

"Holy hell, what the fuck was I doing?"

I bent over to start picking up various bottles and trash, but that's when I felt something get in the way.

Something hard, around my waist.

"Huh."

And thar she blows, the most extreme case of morning wood I have ever seen.

"Ah well."

Nothing worth commenting on.

Absolutely nothing.

Moving on.

I bent down to start picking up more garbage, but I'll be damned if that thing kept getting in the fucking way.

I went over to the table to wipe up my leftover thinking juice, and Commander Johnson got to the table before I did.

It knocked over one of the bottles that just so happened to have one sip left in it. It spilt all over the table, staining the stains.

"Son of a cock."

Now two of my heads are killing me.

"Okay Mister, you've made your point."

Welp. If I'm being honest, the next best thing to drinking my worries away is trying to pull them away.

So I decided I'll clean up the apartment later, and went to my computer.

"What's on the menu today?"

I sat there compensating what smut is the best in the morning.

I opened the incognito window (even though I honestly have no reason to. It's just habit) and wasn't sure what to look up.

I went to everyone's favorite default

Option and gazed upon the popular videos.

Bordering the Home Screen were all those obnoxious ads that talked about milfs in my area and asking if I had a small wiener.

But in all honesty, the popular searches weren't better.

Eighty percent of them involved some kind of step relative, and no one likes waking up to sweet home Alabama.

But nonetheless, I wasn't doing this for me. I was doing it for him.

And he was nowhere near as picky as me.

I clicked on one of them at random, but then I noticed it opened another window. More than likely some other scammy dirty website.

I went to go close it because I'd rather my computer not get Gonorrhea.

But the window actually led to a popular live streaming site.

And if it's popular that means it's safe. Right?

"Hmm. You know what? Fuck it."

I closed the other window, and went on an adventure.

I was browsing the website, learning as I go.

I would click on one with an attractive woman, and I was met with mixed results.

The more attractive the girl, the grittier the camera quality and the more frequent the Ching-Ching noises were spamming my speakers.

Not good enough for him right now.

And so I would try one that didn't seem as busy.

But then you'd get one that was just starting with the girl still setting up her lighting and camera.

You'd try another one, and you'd think they were inside a cave with how dark their room was.

And then you'd think they were in an aquarium which was also inside a cave because any noise that came out sounded like your speakers were gargling.

Nope.

I'm not gonna lie, I was browsing for about twenty minutes.

Even the ones that I found that I was super into weren't worth it because they would immediately go into a private show.

I was frustrated more than I was frisky, but Commander Johnson was still on active duty.

And I'll be damned if I don't finish whatever I start.

Just for kicks, I scrolled all the way down to the bottom of the page.

Down where there were no active viewers.

Most of the thumbnails would show you a still of what is currently happening.

When you scroll that far down, all you get is empty chairs and bathroom breaks.

And so I started scrolling up slowly, trying to dig for gold.

"Chair…chair….wall…chair…poster…fuck."

I was barely in the mood to scroll through hundreds of cam girls, I especially wasn't looking forward to scrolling through hundreds of pieces of furniture.

"Fine, I'll go back."

I moved the mouse up to the corner to close the website.

But as I moved the mouse, something caught my eye.

A small batch of vibrant blue.

I slowed down and went back.

The blue I saw was hair.

A girl wearing large black glasses, with hair as blue as a slushie.

The thumbnail had her sitting on her large Gamer chair, her knees up to her chest.

I can see that there were no current viewers, so she must have just started.

You know what, I think She's worth a shot.