Now I can understand, friends who want to tell me.
"So if you don't know anything about sex, how come you are writing a sex story?"
-It wasn't up to me unfortunately. I'm much better at horror and action, but then I got some Schpeel about demographics and whatnot
"Got'cha. Horror and action not bringing in the middle aged women?"
-I guess so.
"Does your boss know you are a virgin?"
-I did my best to tell him, but I didn't get the chance to speak. Honestly, even if I did I probably would have gotten a 'you'll figure it out' or some bullshit like that.
"I hear that. Is your boss normally a dick?"
-Actually no. I honestly wouldn't even call him a dick here.
"Why not? The guy threw you to the wolves, that seems like a dick to me."
-I can't say he's the one that did it to me. I call him 'my boss' but at the end of the day he's just a glorified a messenger from the 'higher ups'.
"Whoa, higher ups you say? Do you work for some big publisher or something?"
-You're gonna be mad.
"Why?"
-I do, but I can't say anything about it.
"Oh come on, who am I gonna tell?"
-I'm sorry Nikki. If I give up who I work for, then it's a domino effect.
"Wow, thanks. Because the first thing I was gonna do was rat you out."
-I'm sorry, it's not like that!
"You sure man? You have a chance to really think your words over, and yet you still called me a domino effect."
-I wasn't calling you a domino, I was calling my FBI agent that's watching us right now a domino effect.
"Ooh, right, your FBI agent. Ha, alright, fair enough. I bet that guy is confused as fuck right now."
-Without a doubt. You sure you're not mad? I know you get it. You know what publisher I work for, then it gets out we are working on a sex story, and yadda yadda yadda.
"Dean, I swear I wouldn't tell anyone. But nonetheless, I get it. You're a dedicated working man, I can respect that."
-Thank you so much.
"Not like I have anyone to tell anyway."
-Now why would you go and say something like that?
"Hmm?"
-You trying to guilt me into telling you?
"Wha-no! I just genuinely don't have anyone to tell, that's not me trying to draw attention to that fact."
-Debatable.
"Look, can we drop it?"
-Yes, absolutely.
"So what now?"
-What now what?
"Don't we have a sex story to discuss?"
-Oh yeah.
"Did you forget that's why we are talking in the first place?"
-Yes actually.
"Is that supposed to flatter me?"
-Uh…is it?
"Hmm, I don't know."
-Well we don't have to get right into it. If I'm being honest I'm having fun just talking.
"Me too actually."
-Hey, what's that weird screen?
"I put us into a private chat."
-Why?
"I didn't want anyone else joining the chat."
-Oh, okay then.
"So Dean, you gotta tell me something."
-Shoot
"Why me?"
-Why you what?
"Why did you pick me to help you with this? It has to be more than just my blue hair."
-I'd hate to disappoint you but that's it.
"My blue hair? That's why you clicked on me to help you write a sex story?"
-Well not precisely that. Your blue hair got my attention yes, but I had no intention of asking you for help when I did.
"What was your intention?"
-For what?
"Come on Dean."
-Well when I joined your stream you seemed sad. I tried talking to you in an honest attempt to cheer you up.
"I appreciate that, I really do. But you're avoiding the question."
-Wasn't that the question?
"What were you doing in the first place? What, you spend most of your mornings browsing cam sites for sulking girls?"
-Well…no.
"So?"
-Alright, fine. You got me. I was looking to entertain myself.
"First thing in the morning?"
-I spent most of last night drinking and yeah, Commander Johnson is an early riser.
"Commander Johnson?"
-Yeah, good ol' Commander Johnson.
"….is that supposed to mean morning wood?"
-No! Yes.
"Jesus Christ, that is the best euphemism ever."
-So you're not mad?
"Mad? Why would I be mad?"
-I'm not sure, seemed like you were going in the direction. If I was here for something like that, that was a bad thing.
"It's honestly the opposite. I think you're serious you actually want my help with this."
-Oh, thought I was just pulling your leg?
"A little bit, yeah. 'Oh help me write a story' and then you need me to undress for research and shit."
-Given the circumstances that'd be a fair assumption. But I promise thats off the table.
"So what is on the table then?"
-Well actually I haven't got a fucking clue. I don't even know what the actual story will be about.
"Ouch."
-Yeah. As far as I can tell it just has to be soft core. But I need a basis for the story before I can even fathom the boobs and butts.
"But there's no other limits or anything? Everything else is completely up to you?"
-Not entirely, but pretty much ninety five percent.
"It just has to be soft core?"
-That's not the words I were told, but I'm interpreting it that way.
"Got'cha. So like, what are the strengths of the other things you've written?"
-Well not the sex, that's for sure.
"We've beaten that horse to death, I'm serious."
-Well a lot of the best reviews about the other ones mentioned strong characters.
"You write really strong characters?"
-I guess. One review said something like 'the writers can make a snail interesting'. If that helps.
"Okay. So stick with that but make it easier on yourself. Maybe really only focus on one or two characters, I guess the main couple then."
-That makes sense. Two good characters, I can handle that.
"So when you have two good characters in a soft core thingy, if I can throw in my two cents, the characters can't be super strong if they are fucking from the start."
-Slow build?
"Maybe not super slow, but a build nonetheless. I imagine the soft core has to begin early enough to keep the demographic."
-This Is all super sound advice, do you have any experience in this stuff?
"Oh god no. I'm just a consumer who knows what she wants."
-Can't beat that. This is already a thousand times more than what I started with, this is great. Thank you so much Nikki.
"Glad I can help Dean, I've needed this distraction."
-So do you mind maybe going back to earlier?
"Umm…"
-I don't mean to pry. But you've already helped me a bunch, I'd like the chance to return the favor.
"Well…"
-I won't judge.
"It's just that, things have been slow."
-Slow?
"Yeah, with this whole setup."
-Oh, I hear you.
"Normally I get a lucky break. That one random rich dude will pop in and basically pay my rent. But, I haven't come across one yet."
-Oh geez.
"That's why I'm trying early in the morning, maybe I can find one in a different time zone."
-Well that seems like a good idea.
"Yeah I thought that too. But three days have gone by and I've barely made two hundred dollars."
-Ouch.
"I hit my breaking point this morning. And you managed to catch me during it."
-Well not for nothing, but I wouldn't mind helping you out.
"Please don't start with that. I don't want things getting mixed up."
-Mixed up? What would get mixed up?
"I don't want this to be about money, just forget it."
-That's hard to do when you were talking about not making enough.
"Then that's my fault, so please forget it."
-If you say so Nikki. I'm sorry.
"Don't be. It's fine. There you helped, happy?"
-I…suppose so.
"You and your dramatic dots, calm down with those."
-Aye aye.
"Well then- ah shit we hit the limit."
-What limit?
"Private room, can't be here forever."
-Oh shit, what now?
"Umm.. honestly maybe just call it a day?"
-Sure, I'm cool with that.
"This has been a lot of fun Dean, I really mean that."
-I'm glad to hear it Nikki, I think so too. But if you don't mind me asking, is there any way we could do this again?
"Absolutely, I was planning on it."
-Sweet! So, what is the best way to communicate with you?
"Just meet me at the same place and same time tomorrow?"
-On here?
"Yeah, on here."
-Sounds good! I'll see ya tomorrow Nikki.
"See ya Dean."
Once I closed the window, my phone began blowing up.
It was a bunch of text messages from my boss.
'Hey Dean, you wouldn't mind popping into the office in a little bit would you?'
I can count with one hand how many times I've been called in over the weekend.
The only other times we work over the weekend is to rush out a chapter due to previous technical or staffing issues.
But the new project hasn't even started, what could possibly be so urgent?
I texted him back telling him I could, but I also asked why in the first place.
All he responded with was 'You're the best, see ya soon'
Welp, can't say that was unexpected response.
At least now the choice between cleaning my apartment first or myself first was made for me.
When I pulled into the parking lot, there were so few cars compared to a normal work day.
I recognized my bosses, one of the lead artists, the security guard, and three ones I've never seen before.
But these cars had major big league vibes to them.
While my boss proudly drove his green Mercedes, these were shiny black Lincoln SUV's.
The main difference being my boss drove his own car.
You could just tell these cars were for people being drove around in. And that's major big leagues.
Like, major league big leagues.
I walked in, and the normal security guard Alex was in his casual clothes playing his Switch at his desk.
"What up Dean, they call you in too?"
"Yes sir. You have any idea what for?"
"To unlock the fucking door, what else do I do here?"
"Seriously?"
"Fucking serious bro. These hotshots have so much cash in their pockets they can't fit a fucking key."
"That sucks man. Well, enjoy your Pokémon."
"Yo, can we trade a little later? I gotta evolve my Machamp and Kadabra."
"You got it."
"Thanks my guy."
I went into the elevator and went up to my bosses office.
It gave me a lot of time to ponder what could be happening.
I honestly wasn't nervous about my job or being fired.
If that was the case, he would have met me in the lobby on Monday.
But the lead artist being here was the most interesting part.
She normally would video chat me from her desk during our shifts.
And even then, what about these supposed hotshots?
The new project hasn't even started yet, it's not like they have anything to criticize or want to change.
The only other time I've met them in person was for them to ask me to change the The Broken Hornet to The Broken Wasp 'because too many things have Hornet in them'.
Not sure why they needed an entire meeting, but oh well.
Maybe that's something similar this time.
Maybe they have a specific title or something.
The elevator door opened up, and down the short hallway the double doors to my bosses office were closed.
Which meant there was something private going on.
I knocked on the door, and a large man wearing an all maroon suit opened the door for me.
"State your name and position."
"Uhh… I'm Dean, the lead story director?"
"Full name please."
But then from the back of the room I could hear my boss yell
"Dean-O! Right on time, let him in Chuck."
A large security guard named Chuck. What a shocker.
He was born for this job with that name.
That or a grumpy mechanic.
He stood to the side and gestured me in.
Almost like medieval knights, some of the most important people in this company were sitting all outside the outer perimeter of my bosses oversized round table.
At the helm was my boss, with his white dress shirt undone at the collar and top two buttons.
Immediately to his left was the lead artist Rebecca.
They actually hired her as part of a competition with the first comic I directed.
The competition was to draw their own interpretation of the phrase 'Horror Takes Flight'.
And her entry was this macabre version of a birds nest made out of flesh and bones, but she used this incredible pallet of blue and purple, with almost no black or red at all.
Something most of the other entries really suffered from.
Her entry inspired a good majority of 'A Raven's Bleeding Wings', and ever since then we've made a good team.
Sometimes things I ask her to draw actually change my idea and direction of the comics we make.
She was sitting there wearing her normal oversized hoodie that she wore every day throughout the year.
It could have been a hundred degrees out or zero, she'd come to work in that single hoodie.
To my bosses right began the line of higher up hotshots, all of which had single colored t-shirts and jeans on.
This was the most casual secret meeting I ever walked in on.
(LINE)
"Now that we are all acquainted, let's really get down to business."
My boss stood up from his chair and walked over to his whiteboard.
Green marker in hand, he drew a large circle in the center.
"Dean and Rebecca, I bet you are wondering why you are both here."
I responded with 'Yes sir.'
Rebecca responded with 'Yup.'
"So Dean, just liked we talked about yesterday our new project is headed a different direction."
Above the circle, he wrote 'PROJECT A'
"Project A, it's a working title."
For some reason the hotshots laughed at that.
"Dean, can you quickly summarize for Rebecca what this is?"
"Me?"
"Yes sir."
"You didn't tell her yet?"
"Well no, unfortunately the opportunity has-"
Rebecca cut him off.
"Yeah yeah whatever, what's up?"
She was the only person that was able to wear hoodies everyday and talk to the boss like that.
If anyone even tried, my boss would take them aside and bring up 'workplace etiquette.'
"So from what I was told, our new project is supposed to appeal to an…um…."
Don't say anything about porn. Don't say anything about porn. Don't say anything about porn.
"An adult audience, if I'm not mistaken."
"Porn?"
"Uh…"
I looked over at my boss and the hotshots.
They all shrugged their shoulders and quietly agreed with each other.
"Putting it…bluntly…yes."
One of the male hotshots chimed in.
"Now we aren't aiming for anything to really push any envelopes or really make the censors think about anything."
"So like what, soft core?"
And the room went quiet again, all shrugging their shoulders.
"Are we all seriously here just to tell us that we are working on a soft core comic next? Y'all woke me up on my weekend for this?"
If these people shrugged their shoulders any more, they could take flight.
She looked at me, and at least I gave her a verbal response.
"Don't ask me, I didn't call the meeting. All I know is what you currently know."
My boss chimed in.
"Soft core, porn, no matter what we may call it, what's important is that this new project is uncharted territory for us. That's the true purpose of this meeting."
"So what, the moneybags are gonna consult with us about making porn?"
As much as I wanted some kind of reaction, we were all so used to Rebecca's attitude and behavior.
Being the only woman for the job gets you that privilege.
One of the female moneybags spoke up.
"Well, we may not exactly be collaborating with the producers and-"
"Dude, no big words. Why the big words?"
And with that she took all their head-honcho vocabulary away.
I couldn't tell if they were all embarrassed about what this project was supposed to be about, or if they generally didn't have other words outside of their snob dialect.
My boss now became the interpreter for them.
"So what do you want to know Rebecca?"
"What are they here for?"
"They know what is okay and not. We are gonna brainstorm ideas and they'll know better if it's something we can pull off or not."
"Jesus Christ, thank you! So let's fucking do it lads!"
"So Rebecca, anything to start us off?"
"Eh. I'm willing to draw most kinks."
"K-kinks?"
"Yeah."
"Well erm… what are some kinks you are willing?"
"No shit."
"What?"
"I said no shit?"
"Well yes, but why?"
"Because you asked."
"Because I asked what?"
"I'm not drawing shit, okay?"
"But aren't you the artist?"
"Well duh."
"So why won't you draw?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You said, and I quote, you aren't drawing shit."
"I'm not."
"So how can you be the artist if you won't draw shit?"
"By drawing anything else? What are y'all fucking talking about?"
"What are you talking about?"
"For god's sake, she's not saying she's not drawing anything at all. She's she won't specifically draw shit. Poop, scat, crap, manure, take your pick, that's what she's not drawing!"
"Oh."
"Oh."
"Thank you!"
Yeah, the meeting was just an hour of that.
Everyone was sweaty, mad, and exhausted.
No one could agree on anything.
Any ideas me, Rebecca, or the boss came up with the honchos had to shutdown due to the censors.
But then anything the honchos tried pitching we shot down because they were awful.
I say 'we' but I mostly kept quiet and shook my head to agree with anything Rebecca said.
I barely said a peep the whole meeting.
I didn't plan on saying a peep.
But then my boss just had to slam his palms on the table, and address me directly.
"Dean, we are at wit's end. Please tell me you have something? Something to send us home?"
As usual, I was just gonna apologize.
But, man did I want to go home.
I just wanted to go and wait and talk to Nikki again.
But then it hit me.
I basically just had a meeting about this same subject.
"Well, I think at the very core, we need to focus on just two characters."
"Just two?"
"Yes. Pardon my crude words, but too many characters may turn this softcore story into a difficult orgy."
Everyone around the room began nodding their heads, almost like they never considered a non-orgy before.
"I'm down. Less people for me to draw."
"Anything else Dean?"
"Well, part of softcore is a good tease, am I correct? I think our best direction is a slow build. Build everything up slowly to a large climax."
Now everyone's eyebrows shot up.
"Did you say climax on purpose?"
"Huh?"
"Get it? Climax?"
"Oh, huh."
And now they all started taking notes.
I didn't even know they had pencils.
Now all of a sudden my boss's shirt was properly buttoned and his skin was as dry and sweat-less as a marble sculpture.
"Dean, this is already seven times more the direction than we had five minutes ago. Take us home, give us the kicker."
Well shit, I already took my shot.
That was all me and Nikki already discussed.
I had nothing else to offer since Nikki didn't tell me anything else.
If only Nikki was here now.
Wait…
What if…
"Well sir, I have one idea no one mentioned yet."
"What's that Dean?"
"What about a camgirl?"
