/Temari/
I go back to my room, still dazed from the night I spent. I've never experienced anything like this in all my years of existence. Shikamaru has a power over my body that I can't explain, but it feels so good.
I lie back on my bed and smile as the smell of him, trapped in my sheets, invades my nose. I think I'm going to have to change these sheets, the smell of sex and Shikamaru is going to make me have more memories than I wanted.
I'm scared, I'm not ready for casual sex and I know that if he comes looking for me again, I'll go wherever he wants without a second thought, every cell in my body misses his and the wonders he can do. But my brain knows very well that we both have no intention of moving on to something more serious.
And what's worse? I can't ask anyone for advice, the only one who knows is Kiba and I'm not even sure he knows what happened yesterday. How am I going to find out what's best for us if I don't even know who I am? I've been trapped in a toxic relationship for so long that I no longer know what the real me looks like, my mind hides who I am from myself and that scares me. I just wanted to be happy single, but this independent thing is more complicated than I thought.
After a few minutes of thinking, I came to the obvious conclusion. It's not that complicated, everyone gets on with their lives and we get over it. They were two incredible nights, but nothing more than that. I don't even know him properly, I only know his big ego and he knows almost nothing about me either, he probably doesn't even know my last name. From what little I know of him, tomorrow he'll have forgotten all about the 'mystery woman' and move on to the next one. As for me, I'm going to get on with my life as a single woman who doesn't need a man, far away from him.
Determined to change, I get up to officially start the day. I change my clothes, comb my hair and go downstairs to the living room, where Tsuki is waiting for me, as I haven't yet given him the food he loves so much.
- You're going to keep this secret of mine, aren't you? - I ask rhetorically as I put his bowl down.
- What secret? – Tenten asks and I'm startled by her arrival.
- That I put some more food in today. Well, now it's not a secret anymore. - I say with a smile that I hope looks natural enough.
- Are you trying to fatten up the cat? - she asks and starts preparing breakfast for us.
- Of course not. It's just that when he looks at me with those little eyes I can't resist. - I say and start putting the utensils on the table. – So, how was the date?
- It was incredible! - she says euphorically, without taking her eyes off the food on the hob.
- He took me to a divine restaurant, then we walked hand in hand through the park and he said goodbye with a kiss on the doorstep of our house. I felt like a teenager again. It was so romantic - she sounds really passionate when she tells the story.
- That's great. I hope he treats you as well as you deserve. It's just a shame you didn't get the dessert you wanted so much. - I say and make them both laugh.
- It's true, but don't worry, I'll have more opportunities. And how was your evening? - she finally finishes the scrambled eggs and puts them on the plates.
- It was good. Tsuki and I watched a really scary film and then I went straight to sleep. I didn't even get to study if that makes you happy! - I didn't lie, I just omitted part of the truth.
- Look at you enjoying a Friday night away from books! - she doesn't know the half of it.
- You're an incredible influence! - I say wryly - Do you want to do something this morning or just stay in?
- We could go to the shopping centre with the girls. Ino said that Sai and the boys were going to have a game out of town, so she'll be without her almost-boyfriend for more than a day and that's awful. - she says dramatically in an attempt to imitate Ino, which makes me laugh. I realise that Shikamaru has agreed to spend the night here even though he has a game away, the few hours of sleep could affect him, but he chose me. I push the stupid thoughts away and return to focus.
- OK, I'll send a message to the group to see who wants to go. Shall I call Kiba or just the girls?
- Just girls, I put up with him coming round during the week. - she says.
- But you don't even have lessons together. - I express my confusion.
- Now think about it! - is her only reply before I type 'Shopping centre at 10. Who's coming?' in the group with the eight most beautiful women at the University, since I ended my relationship I've become closer to them and they're doing me a lot of good.
Unfortunately Sasuke and Karin were having a 'sisters' day and Konan and Karui were working, so there are only six of us. I'm not very close to Hinata yet, so it'll be a good opportunity to get to know each other better.
- Are you ready? - Tenten asks with her car keys in her hand and I nod.
- Bye Tsuki, don't break anything! - I lock the door and head for the car, opening the passenger door.
We drive past Ino's house, where her three friends are already waiting for us, and we head off to our destination. It's been an incredible morning, we've been shopping for all tastes, I'm finally changing my wardrobe, it's good to have the confidence to wear less conservative clothes again.
- What do you want to eat? Tenten and I will order while you set the table.- says Tamaki when we reach the food court.
- I'll have a simple salad please. - I reply and sit down. Ino and Hinata say what they want and sit down too, Hinata next to me and Ino in front.
- It's so good to see you back to who you really are! - the blonde facing me says happily.
- It's true. After what you've been through, it takes a lot of strength to move forward. You're an incredible warrior, I don't know what I'd do if I were you. - Hinata says with regret in her voice.
- Unfortunately, the battle has only just begun! - I sigh sadly - But let's talk about something happy. Tell me what it's like to be madly in love like you and Naruto?
- Well, it's great. I don't know what I'd do without him, he helped me when I needed it most and since then I've been the happiest woman in the world. - she says with a sincere smile on her face. - Of course, it's not always rainbows and butterflies, but it's commitment that moves us along.
- It sounds incredible. I miss belonging to someone like that, even if I realise now that I've never experienced true love. But most of all I miss loving myself. I don't recognise myself when I look in the mirror, I don't have the same smile, the same self-esteem, all that went with the break-up. And he had no right to do that. - I say in a mixture of sadness and anger.
- Your true love is yet to come. He'll look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay for a while and she'll be loved. - Ino tries to comfort me with a tender smile and Hinata hugs me from the side.
- If it was only my smile that was broken it would be easier. - I say, but the subject is soon forgotten.
- No more sadness, lunch is here! - they put down their trays and we started to eat, it was really good and the happy chat made me forget my sorrows.
After lunch we had to go home to drop off the shopping and head to the studio where we found the rest of the girls ready for their dance class.
It's already eight in the evening when I finally sit down on the sofa ready to watch a film with the girls, now we're all here. With no boyfriend excuses to occupy the evening, we can finally spend the night all nine of us together. We also invited Kiba, as he was on his own, was happy to join us. At Sasuke's suggestion we go to see Jumanji, a fun film that would make lovers forget their boyfriends and the similar situations.
Kiba and I are curled up on the sofa together, having a great time with our chosen programme, until he breaks the silence – So, how dis you enjoy last night? - he asks in a low voice.
- What do you mean? - I ask in a whisper.
- I know exactly what happened here yesterday! He had Tsuki's hair on his shirt and I started sneezing straight away. - he grimaced at the mention of the cat, who was currently hiding somewhere in the house, afraid of visitors.
- Then shut up! - I finished, annoyed.
- Shh, this part is too funny! - says Ino, sitting on the floor, and soon we're all laughing at the scene on the screen. An hour and a bit later, the film ends and we're left with nothing to do.
- Oh girls, will Sai ever ask me to date him? We've been going on these dates for over three weeks and I feel like he's the one! - Ino exclaims sadly, starting the conversation.
- You have to give it time. Naruto and I only started dating three months after our first date! - Hinata tries to comfort her.
- Yeah, and it took Chouji ages to work up the courage to propose. Maybe he's like that too! - Karui joins in.
- Sasuke and I are like that too, but we don't want to rush things. Take it easy, you're still young. - says Sakura.
- That's where you're wrong! - Kiba, who had been forgotten, speaks up - For Sasuke, your relationship would have gone at least to second base by now. He comes home all sad because you didn't get to do anything more than kiss, but he says he's waiting for you.
- That's really sweet. I'm just a little afraid of giving myself up one hundred per cent. - the pink haired sighs sadly.
- I understand, I don't want to make a move on anyone at the moment. But if he makes you happy, you've got nothing to lose! - she smiles in appreciation of my words.
- Afraid to make a move, are you? – Kiba says in my ear with a smile and gets elbowed in the ribs.
The conversation flowed on the same topics, Tenten and Karin told us more details about their crushes and Tamaki kept quiet, she's been acting strange these days. Kiba and Konan were making comments since, like me, they weren't in love with anyone and only wanted to judge the misfortune or happiness of others.
- Sai just told me that the team won, yay! – Ino said happily and celebrated.
- You'd think with a captain like that! - says Hinata proudly.
- Oh please, Chouji must have been the best on the pitch! - Karui came to her boyfriend's defence.
Soon the three of them started a pointless argument with the others trying to calm them down. I just shake my head and decide to congratulate Sasuke on his victory by text. After clicking send, I stare at his name at the bottom of the screen and decide to click and write the same thing I wrote to Sasuke.
'Congratulations on the win, I'm proud. I expected nothing less from you, great player ;). I hope you'll keep it up next week,' I click on send, still a little afraid, but you only live once and I'm not wasting anything by doing this.
- Okay, girls, that's enough of that! - Konan finished shouting - It's late, let's go, tomorrow's my day off and I want to enjoy it.
They left and we said goodbye after a fun evening. Until Kiba and I were left while Tenten said goodbye to Tamaki and Ino up ahead.
- Tema, don't feel bad about what you've done. You have to enjoy it and don't deny your body or heart what it wants just because your head has crazy ideas, or you'll end up in a lot of trouble! - he says regretfully and looks at the girls ahead - Well, see you later! - he says with a kiss on my forehead and I go back inside.
When I'm finally ready for bed, my phone vibrates on the bedside cabinet and I reach out to check, thinking it was Sasuke. But the answer was from him.
'My ego is grateful:)'
'Look, I've been thinking and... do you want to go out for lunch tomorrow? We could start from scratch, without a mystery woman or man. After all, we have mutual friends so we'll have to see each other often. I just want to get to know you better, princess!'
I don't even know what to say. On the one hand he's right, whether we like it or not, we're going to see each other a lot and being friends would be good. On the other hand, my stomach churns at the thought of having lunch with him. 'You have to enjoy it,' once again Krystian's words come to mind and I muster up the courage to write a reply.
'That's fine with me. We'll be two acquaintances having lunch, I don't see anything wrong with that. Let's meet tomorrow at the Italian restaurant at 1pm, shall we?'
'Of course. It's going to be a new beginning for the proud Shikamaru and the heartbroken Temari'
His reply arrives shortly afterwards. I reply with 'Let's hope it's a good restart, see you tomorrow and good night' and I get a 'good night' from him.
Every day I question my life choices more, I hope it's worth it, but I'm afraid that my mind won't be able to forget what we've done and will confuse things. What if we can't stay friends? What if he hates me? What if someone sees us? What if I say something stupid? What if I confuse sex with love and he laughs at me?
I try to stay calm, I sigh and try to think of something else to see if I'll sleep, but something tells me that tonight isn't going to be very calm, my anxiety is running high.
Racism is a completely nonsensical and disrespectful act on a supreme level. If you support any story that glorifies this problem, you can stop reading mine.
Kisses❤
